 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax, and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia I could think in the kitchen and the cupboard under the piano we haven't got in the bathtub. Bye What are you doing? I'm starting to undress. That was the general impression that I got why because I was dressed up Well, that is something you have to do before you undress. Yes, I followed that far, but I still don't get it at this time of day Say you aren't sick or something Sure, you haven't picked up that round robin cold your mother and I have not a sniff Well, I never catch cold. You know that don't boast you will if you stand around in a slip like that I still don't know why you're undressing. I'm not anymore. I'm dressing up again. I was just rehearsing Sounds like a fire drill timing yourself. Nope. I was just seeing how I looked in an evening gown You look right nice in an evening gown you going somewhere got a date. That's good I think it's gonna be very good with anybody. I know he's tall handsome Very masterful, and I'm very much in love with him. That's nice Now what's up for tonight? Nothing. What would you like to do? Nothing, but you said we had a date. Oh, didn't I tell you the date isn't tonight It's tomorrow night. You haven't told me anything up to this moment that makes sense I'm sure I told you I told you over the phone this afternoon. Oh, no, that's right when I called your office You were out. I did mention it to Roger and Roger was out when I got back to the office now Suppose you bring me up today, you just had us take us to the theater then we have got a date for the night I didn't say for the night is for tomorrow night Oh, and that's why you were dressing up when I came in. I wasn't dressing up. I was dressing on I mean I was undressing. I was just trying on my gown to go to the theater tomorrow night From a long experience of looking gift horses in the mouth People usually give away tickets to the theater because they know it's a dull show Oh, it couldn't be that Julie told me they got mixed up and they had tickets to the horse show too or something And they would rather look at horses because it would be more fun What show Tristan Tristan and the soldier that's what I thought you said Look Claudia Tristan is an opera. I know you don't call going to the opera going to a show Come right out with it like a man say opera right off It's one of those times when it's permissible to call a spade a spade. Don't you like music? I love music Well, don't you like Tristan then? I love Tristan. Well, then what what I do not like the opera But that's where they play Tristan. I mean if you like Tristan, that's where you're here Not me my ducky. I take my Tristan on the phonograph or on the radio, but then you can't see it Exactly my sweet music was meant to be heard not seen Have you ever noticed at the opera how people sit with their eyes closed real music lovers? That's how they enjoy the music more no darling that is so that they will not enjoy it less By closing their eyes they managed to shut out the image of a 360 pound Tristan Pouring out his love to a three hundred and eighty pound a soldier. Oh all opera stars aren't fat Are they no not all of them. Well, then come on be a gambler take a chance Maybe our Tristan and the soldier will be nice and romantic tomorrow night. There isn't a chance Are these the tickets on the dresser? Yep What now worse and more of it these are box seats isn't that the best there couldn't be anything worse In the first place there's the chairs. What's wrong with the chairs little spindly gold things and your leg goes to sleep Then there's the people what's wrong with the people everything's wrong with the people People who sit in boxes sit there not to hear music but to be seen hearing music And then they're not sound asleep and they sound asleep and slow snoring a nice little upper class snores They're not doing that. They're talking make it sound very attractive. Look darling You really wanted to go didn't you well You got yourself all in the frame of mind to look forward to it Sort of right then we're going to the opera tomorrow night. What's more? We'll have a swell time You change your tune very quickly. Well, I never tried listening to Tristan sitting beside the woman I love That sounds very romantic the way you say it A king of england was pretty romantic when he said it too darling David Can a woman ever be so important to a man that He could give out the most important thing in his life for And not regret it why I did give up the widest mountain No, I'd give up the deepest river I'd give up the throne of england If I had you Do you realize you didn't kiss me when you came home? And what do you think I'm doing now? Kissing me We have another cup of coffee dear just half a cup You know darling this box at the opera for tomorrow night raises certain rather fundamental problems as for instance Well for one I can't sit beside a beautiful woman in evening clothes dressed in my comfortable old flannel suit Would you look nice in your dinner jacket? Darling my dinner jacket would be just as out of place as an opera box as a suit of overall I don't follow you a dinner jacket is dressed enough to sit in the orchestra at the opera But nothing less than tails is acceptable in a box Yeah, what's so funny? Oh, I don't know. It's just the idea of it Somehow I don't see you in tails. It's just not your type. Oh, it isn't my type, isn't it? And just what type young lady do you think I am? Oh sort of laundry with a pipe in your mouth and No, it's just not the type Darling, maybe we can change the tickets to orchestra. We'll do nothing of the kind It'll be a box or nothing So you don't think I have a full dress suit. I know everything you have and you haven't we men have our secrets, you know Remember that big box on the top shelf of the closet. Yes, that is my hidden past And my tails and there's something else that you don't know How I got my tails. Oh the elephant got his trunk by Rudyard Kipling If I didn't know you had him, how could I know how you got them? Tell me how you did get him, David Well, it's a long story. You mean a long tail Puns are the lowest form of humor Well once upon a time I was in my college glee club David you never told me. Well, I wasn't in the glee club very long I only sang once and that was the beginning and end of my career And the first time and the last time I ever wore my full dress suit. What happened? Have you ever heard of a great singer losing his voice? Well, I lost mine the first time out Actually, I am the only living singer to lose his voice by popular election The whole glee club voted that I couldn't carry a tune They wouldn't even let me carry the music Say my pipe must be in the other room. It's on the table beside your chair. Oh Oh, here it is This pipe has a habit of losing itself. Just where you leave it. What are you doing now? Getting a chair to stand on to get my dress suit off the shelf's top of I think a dress rehearsal is in order for me too. Whoop whoop what? Wearing this suit. It's not like it just came from a moth's funeral It smells like cancer the curfew tolls the knell of pop parting moth Letting swarm flies quickly away from me. Maybe if I wear a lot of perfume, which smell like beauty and the beast How long since you wore it years? Well, here goes. I'll try them on Hmm Yeah I just suppose the tailor could let out these I'll take them first thing in the morning. All right. We'll play the trousers over the chair now Now here goes the coat Not bad. What's the amount of distinction is wearing this season? What's wrong Hey, tell me it isn't polite just to stand and laugh at people. I'm sorry if I were a shy shrinking violet, it would do something to me It's the tails and Well, naturally it's the tail. Oh, you're not the type, david. And why am I not the type? You're still smoking your pipe and that coat in your trousers. And what's wrong with my trousers? Nothing darling except they're hanging over the chair Whoop whoop. So they are so they are Darling, even if you're not the type I prefer you as you are Well, who can that be at this hour of the night? I don't know. I'll see. Hey, wait. Wait. Don't let him in my trousers. Let me get in the bedroom Claudia Hello, david Yeah, all right Seem to be providing both of you ladies with a degree of unrestrained and if I may say so Unseemly loft this evening. Can I really be that funny? Oh, david that coat. What's wrong with this coat? I move shorts. Now both of you ladies have seen shorts before But I've never seen them before in combination with the tails of a full dress coat What is this a fancy dress party? I am going to the opera like that If you hadn't if you'd come in an instant later, you'd have found me gone But you better hurry it's after eight already I smell something could it be moth balls? Yes. I think that's what it is Claudia and I had about decided it was moth balls before you came in We uh, didn't expect you this evening or we wouldn't have planned to go out Well, you needn't expect me now. Hurry along get dressed or you'll be late for the opera Oh, we don't have to get there early. I don't come on until the second act. You don't walk Don't come on sing, you know I said Yes, dear. I was singing. Oh singing. Claudia Let's not go to the opera tonight All right. Let's not you know, I have an idea that when mama came over here this evening She was she was lonely It would be sort of mean just to pick up and walk out on her. Are you two children utterly crazy? We don't like the opera too much. Anyway, I'll never darken your door again. She'll never darken our door again Corn pure corn mrs. Brown never darken our door again I'm surprised at you that went out with east land and I'll not be shouted down She will not be shouted down. She will not be shouted down She will not be shouted down Quiet Yeah, hurry up and get dressed. You're only half dressed. You have tickets for the opera Vigoral Vigoral I don't believe you really were going to the opera. You don't well look here the ticket So they are well, I'll be and box seats there next time you better believe us Hold on a minute today's wednesday And these tickets are for thursday night here. Let me see Let's see here now. What's it say? Let's see. This is plain as you can right. There it is. There they are Thursday night claudia. That's what they are Thursday night. They can't be They can't oh, they are Uh, I say a thing uh, uh, think what an embarrassment it would have been to go to the opera on the wrong night The wrong night Bad enough to go on the right All story material used on this broadcast of claudia was under the supervision of rose franken and william brown maloney American hospitality has never depended on extravagance Being hospitable is easy as easy as opening a bottle of ice cold coca-cola And now happily there's plenty of coke to go round again You can welcome stranger or friend You can welcome your own companions or those of your children with the friendly words have a coke Then watch them sit back and enjoy your hospitality and the pause that refreshes Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying olivoire and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For ice cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes