 Hello there bugs and welcome back to my youtube channel. Today I want to talk to you guys about how you're stealing your own happiness and you might not even be aware of it. So I want to give you a few little tips and tricks so you can think about hey am I doing this am I self-sabotaging my own happiness and how can I move from self-sabotaging and stealing my own happiness to really basking in it and enjoying my happiness and being a more positive person and living a more fulfilling life. If you're new here I'm Sarah and I help teach people how to find inner happiness through fitness and spirituality. So let's dive right in. Okay so the first thing I want to talk about I think a lot of us tend to do and you can kind of and I can kind of explain it as far as like what we do is we don't allow ourselves to feel joy and I know that feels really silly and this can happen a few different ways. One of the main reasons is that when something good or positive happens to us sometimes we still tend to focus on the negative. So here I'll give you guys a quick example for something that happened in my life. As a lot of you know I'm in real estate full-time I am a real estate investor. I had bought my first rental property after wanting one for three years and I finally got it I bought it I renovated it myself along with my parents that really helped me a lot and it took a few months because I was working full time they were working full time my parents live an hour plus away from me so it just took a little bit longer than expected and of course with renovating a property we ran into some issues that were a little unexpected. So once everything was done I found tenants wonderful tenants seamlessly like everything was just going really well it looked beautiful like the property was redone head to toe and it just came out so stunning and I was so proud of myself I remember the floors were put in and that was the last step of the entire process as far as finishing the property and getting it move in ready for the tenants and I remember just walking around the property when it was finally done and it just looked so gorgeous and I was so proud of myself and I was just like wow this is amazing so basically I did this walk through the property I was really enjoying walking through each room and thinking about how far we came from the very beginning and then as I'm walking out of the property and locking it up I remember thinking to myself okay next like okay next one at one point I actually got a little sad that I only had one property I only had one rental instead of the tons that I aspire to acquire and the airbnb's that I want to do and this and that and then I kind of just stopped myself like you literally just finished this beautiful project that you wanted to do for so long and I really only allowed myself to feel that joy and happiness and gratitude for like and I find that we all do a lot of that kind of stuff in our lives whether it's job related or money related or relationship related or whatever where maybe your maybe you found like the perfect guy or girl right and they make you so happy and instead of basking in that happiness and that love that you both found you're nitpicking the little things that you don't like and you're focusing on the negative and you're focusing on okay well she hits or he hits 99 out of 99 out of 100 of my checkboxes but I don't like this one thing and so instead of basking and enjoying those 99 things you're a laser focused on the one thing that maybe isn't favorable to you and that's what we tend to do a lot and that's you're literally stealing your own joy and your own happiness because you're so focused on what's next the next goal raising the bar the one little thing that's not right instead of the 99 things that are right and you don't allow yourself to feel the happiness for it so next time you do something for yourself you achieve a goal you you know you release some emotional trauma whatever it is for you allow yourself to feel the joy and the happiness in it and not just one time but every time you think of that every time I think about my property feel proud feel feel happiness not the lack of not having more properties okay so that's number one and number two which kind of aligns with number one is self sabotaging so as I spoke about in one of my last videos a lot of times we are so used to not being happy and not getting the things that we want that when those things that we want start to come in we don't believe that it's fit for us or I hate this saying it's too good to be true so you push it away or you don't accept it god I hate that saying something's too good to be true we are so conditioned to believe that good things aren't supposed to happen that when they do we're like no no no that's not real there you're waiting for the other shoe to drop and you're just like not accepting of that positive thing maybe you've got a job promotion that you've wanted for a long time and as soon as you get it you're like yeah but that means I have to work you know more hours or that means I have these extra duties I have to do now and so then maybe you don't accept the promotion or you don't accept the new job and it's like doesn't it sound silly when you hear me saying it but I guarantee you we all do these things without necessarily realizing it maybe a new relationship comes into your life and it's so good but because of your past relationships and traumas maybe you've been in abusive relationships like I have that you're like you're not trusting of this new relationship and so you put your walls up you push them away because you're scared because you've been conditioned to believe that these things can't really happen to you so instead of potentially allowing yourself to get hurt or overworked or whatever it is you are you push it away so that you prevent yourself from that possible hurt or whatever down the road when in reality you don't know that you can't predict your future you don't know what's going to happen so you might as well allow these positive and good things to come into your life and make it beautiful water the grass the grass is greener where you water it okay not over there because if we're always believing that that the grass is greener over there and then we go over there and then we think the grass is greener over there and then we go over there you're never going to get to the green grass right so water your grass and that's what's going to make it green okay and the last thing i want to go over number three is beating yourself up for something that originally made you happy this one's a little more complicated so i'm going to start off by giving you an example so say here in 2022 your goal is to eat a healthier diet and you know just overall consume maybe less alcohol less processed foods whatever you want to feel better you want to look better everything that goes along with it so one night you're out with your friends and you're having dinner at a restaurant you know maybe having some wine or whatnot and you decide hey i've been doing so great and i really just want to enjoy the moment with my friends so i am going to split that dessert with my other friend or i am going to have a glass or two of wine or whatever it may be and then the second that you finish the glass of wine or the dessert or maybe it's later in the night or the next day you beat yourself up for it i've been there so many freaking times i can't even tell you guys like you beat yourself up for the thing that you told that made you happy that you allowed yourself to do and that you said was fine for yourself to do and then you spend the next hours or days or whatever beating yourself up about it and regretting it when it's something that you wanted to do it was something that made you happy in that moment so when you start doing these things i want you to imagine it someone else saying this to you or doing this to you so for my last example say you go out to a restaurant you're in the same scenario and your friend says to you hey you can have that last slice of dessert and then you eat it and then that same friend goes to you and goes what the hell are you doing why did you eat that you're on a diet and they're reaming you out for doing what they already told you you could do you'd be like what the hell or going back to my first example with a rental property you were so proud about this rental and blah blah blah and then a friend or a family member whoever comes by and says yeah i guess you did a good job but you don't have the 50 rentals that you want so why are you so proud of yourself like you wouldn't have those people in your life i really hope you wouldn't okay like you would look at that person and be like wow you're you're not nice and you wouldn't be okay with that and you wouldn't be surrounding yourself with people like that and that treat you that way so why are you allowing yourself to treat you that way why are you allowing yourself to take away your own happiness and self-sabotaging you so you can't be happy and feel good okay and and the beautiful part about this is that you have all the power you have all the power to make these changes and to allow and bring in that happiness and allow yourself to feel that joy and that gratitude but you have to bring that awareness in that you are doing these things and allow and not allowing yourself to feel that happiness and that joy and you want to get to the bottom of it and figure out why why are you not allowing yourself to feel this happiness why are you not focused on what's in the moment and the things that are bringing you joy and why are you so focused on ruining that for yourself and as you start to dig through those layers and do those things and realize hey it's showing up in this aspect of my life it's showing up in that part of my life and once you start to really roll through those things and get to the bottom of them you can begin to heal them and change the narrative in your mind that's preventing you from doing that and from feeling that happiness can you think of a time when you've done that to yourself whether it's big or small if you do if you can think of something let me know in the comments below i'd love to talk with you about it and see how we can kind of change that and rewire your brain for when it comes up next time i love you guys so much i hope you got a lot of value out of this video if you did please don't forget to like this video for me and subscribe if you haven't already so we can hang out again next week i love you guys so so much and don't forget be limitlessly yourself