 The Kraft Foods Company presents The Great Gildersleeve. Ah, hee hee hee hee. It's The Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. In Summerfield, through the magic of radio, it is still only Christmas Eve. Its citizens are scurrying about in a light snowfall like characters on a Christmas card, and there's a general air of kindness, goodwill, and anticipation of the moral. We find The Great Gildersleeve looking not too unlike Santa Claus himself at the counter of Peavey's pharmacy and conversation with the proprietor. I don't care what you say, Peavey, Christmas comes but once a year, and it's a great old institution. Yes, sir, I am for Christmas. Oh, me too, Mr. Gildersleeve. 75, one dollar, thank you, and call again. I will, Peavey, old man, but probably not till after Christmas. Shopping all finished? Yeah, finished yesterday, practically. Yep, I believe in doing it early. You hear a lot of people talk about it, but I do it. Oh, good for you. People complaining about Christmas shopping make me tired. There's nothing to it, Peavey. Make a list of people, make a list of stuff, buy it. That's the way. That's one way. Wrap it up and hide it so the kids can find it. Oh, say, wait a minute, how about some wrapping paper? No, we have it. We have the red tissue and we have the green tissue, 10 cents a roll. Well, that's all right. One of each, I guess. I assume you wouldn't be interested in our gift wrapping kit. Gift wrapping kit? What's that? It comes in a box, seven kinds of paper, fancy paper, and four kinds of ribbon. It also includes a selection of gift guardians. Gift guardians. What are they? Little plastic Santa Clauses and angels. You tie them on the outside of the packet. Let's join a Christmas giving. It says on the box, cost a dollar and a half. Well, I'll go for a dollar and a half worth of joy. Peavey, wrap it up. Yes, sir. One gift wrapping kit. See, did I tell you I'm having some people over tomorrow afternoon to sing Christmas carols? Why don't you and Mrs. Peavey come and join us? Well, I don't know. Oh, come on. I'm asking everybody. Floyd Munson, Judge Hooker, Chief Gates, we're even going to ask the Bullards. I haven't been speaking to Bullard, but seeing it's Christmas. Here's your wrapping paper. I understand the Bullards are out of town. They are? Well, little Craig is here. They must be planning to come back tonight or tomorrow. Maybe I heard Mrs. Bullard was visiting her mother. Say, you don't suppose? Supposed to have. Well, last week I heard Craig telling Leroy something about a big argument between his father and mother. Oh, I don't believe there's anything like that, Mr. Goatess, but I believe Bullard's on a business trip. Well, where there's smoke, there's fire, none of those things, I guess. Don't tell anybody about it. I won't. Well, Merry Christmas, Pee-Bee. Thank you. You should be receiving a card from Mrs. Pee-Bee and myself. A card? Well, thanks. If you don't receive it, it's such Merry Christmas. Well, I'll save you, Pee-Bee. See you tomorrow afternoon. Easy with the clippers, Floyd. Okay, Commissioner, just the back and sides. What's new? Nothing. Well, that takes care of that. I suppose you heard about the Bullard's. Bullard, you say? Yeah. You heard about it? No. A little trouble there? Yeah, afraid so. She's gone home to her mother. Oh, that don't mean nothing. If I had a dollar for every time Lovie went home to her mother, I wouldn't have to be cutting hair. There's more to it than that. Well, sir, I'd be a rich man. Done it again last week, but she always comes back. I imagine Bullard isn't so used to it, Floyd. He's gone away, too. Where'd he go, home to his dad? This is a serious matter, Floyd, breaking up a home. I don't break up so easy. There's a lot of stretch in a home, but a guy like Bullard, huh? I can see we're a nice woman like her, wouldn't we? Of course. That's a sad part of it. Let's not spread this around, Floyd, after all. You don't have to worry about me, Commissioner. I'm no talker. No tonic on the hair? No, just comb and dry. Poor Mrs. Bullard. And at Christmas time, too. You can't blame her for leaving the fellow, Judge, when a man resorts to physical violence. You mean to say Bullard beats her? I won't be at all surprised. I don't believe it. Well, who lives across the street from them? You or me? I don't believe you, either. You're just sore because they're getting a divorce and they haven't retained you as their lawyer. I don't handle that type of case. Well, anyway, it's a shame, isn't it? Keep it to yourself, will you, Horace? You're the one that's spreading it, not me. Spreading it? I'm trying to keep it quiet. Well, Merry Christmas, Judge. That's the sad part of it, Eve. They've been married 15 years. That's not the saddest part, Throckmorton. When a wife leaves her husband, you know who suffers. Yeah, it's tough on the Lord. No, no. It's little Craig I'm thinking of. He's such a little boy, all alone there at home with a governess. Oh, yes, Craig. Broken homes are hardest on the children, Throckmorton. That's something we schoolteachers know very well. Very terrible. Say, Eve, can you come over tomorrow afternoon? Some people are coming to sing carols. Well, I... Maybe you could come a little early, huh? Got a present for you. Got a lot of mistletoe hung around, too. Honestly, Throckmorton, you are the strangest combination of people. Will you come early? Well, seeing it's Christmas. We all finished, fire in the fireplace. What shall we do now? How about each opening one present? That's a good idea. They're not till Christmas, children. You know the rule. At Piggy's house, they always open one present each on Christmas Eve. That's not the way we do it here. What would you like to do, Marjorie, besides open a present? Well, I don't know. I guess I'll go over to France and see if anything's cooking. My dear, it's Christmas Eve. Well, so what? Everything's all ready for tomorrow. What's the matter with having a little fun? That's right. Say, why don't we go to the movies? Why not? I'll get the majestic. They got the killers. We will not see the killers on Christmas Eve. Children, have you no sentiment? All right, Anki. What do you want to do? It isn't what I want. What do we always do on Christmas Eve? What's our family custom? Are you going to make us listen to the Christmas Carol again? Make you listen to it? No, no, indeed. We know it by heart, Anki. What's the use? Say no more. I've tried to establish a fine tradition for this household. Evidently, my efforts have been in vain. Evidently, my efforts have been fruitless. Evidently, you prefer the company of your friends to staying home with me. It isn't that, Anki. You prefer some movie with a classic masterpiece of Charles Dickens. Yeah, sure. Leroy. All right, Anki. Let's read it. It's too cold to go out anyway. I don't want you to say this just to please me, my dear. Oh, I'm not. I don't want you to do it unless we all agree. Leroy, shall we read the Christmas Carol? Would you rather go straight to bed? Right now? Yes, right now. I guess I'll go to bed. No, you won't! You'll listen to the Christmas Carol. Now sit down. Okay. Where's the book? Marjorie, you find the book and Leroy, go get me a Coke. Good Marjorie, and I have one. Now, seeing it's Christmas Eve. Oh boy, Cokes, did you hear that Marge Coke? Here, Anki. You'll have to admit that's a tired-looking cover. Well, this copy belonged to my father's family. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the first edition. Let's see. Sixth American edition. Well, it might be worth something. Christmas Carol. In Pros, Being a Ghost Story of Christmas by Charles Dickens. That's funny. I never thought of it as a ghost story. I just think of it as a story about Scrooge and Bob Cratchett and his family. It's a ghost story, just the same. Here's the Coke, Anki. Here, Marge. Nice and cold. Birdie had him on ice. Thanks, Leroy. Thank you, my boy. Now, are we all comfortable? Sure. All right, then. Marley was dead to begin with. Yes, that's right. Marley was dead to begin with. There's no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman. The clerk, the undertaker and the chief mourner. Cratchett said and calmly tuned that he regarded it as the greatest success achieved by Mrs. Cratchett since their marriage. Mrs. Cratchett said that now the wait was off her mind. She would confess she had had her doubts about the quantity of flour. Everybody had something to say about it, but nobody said or thought it was at all a small pudding for a large family. It would have been flat heresy to do so. Any Cratchett would have blushed to hit at such a thing. At last the dinner was all done. The cloth was cleared, the hearth swept, and the fire made up. The compound in the jug being tasted and considered perfect. Apples and oranges were put upon the table and shoveled fulls of chestnuts on the fire. Then all the Cratchett family drew round the hearth and what Bob Cratchett called circle, meaning half of one. That Bob Cratchett's elbow stood the family display of glass. Two tumblers and a custard cup without a handle. These two held the hot stuff from the jug, however as well as golden goblets would have done. And Bob served it out with beaming looks while the chestnuts on the fire sputtered and crackled noisily. Then Bob proposed... A merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us. ...which all the family re-encoded. God bless us, every one, said Tiny Tim. Last of all, this is... He sat very close to his father's side upon his little stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his as if he loved the child and vetted that he might be taken from him. Little Lira. Oh, what's the matter? I hope you children realize how lucky you are to have a family. Even if it's only your old uncle. I think you make a wonderful family, Yankee. Sure, you're okay. Think of poor little Craig Bullard over there. All alone, with a governess. Is that any way to spend Christmas? Where's his father and mother? I don't know, poor kid. The Roya looks as if Craig is going to have a pretty thin time of it. What would you think of sharing some of your Christmas presents with him? My presents? Oh, Craig's such a louse. My boy, is that a Christmas thought? What he is? Besides, his father's going to give him all kinds of stuff for Christmas. His father may not get back for Christmas. His mother either. Don't you think it would be nice if we all devoted ourselves to giving little Craig a nice Christmas tomorrow? I think we should. Well, if we aren't back by tomorrow... That's the boy. I knew your heart was in the right place. Yes, sir, I'll dig out my old Santa Claus suit and go over there and give little Craig the surprise of his life. If you can get into that Santa Claus suit, you'll surprise everybody. Well, it may be a little tight, but what's the difference? Where were we? Oh, yes. Spirit said Scrooge with an interest he'd never felt before. Tell me if Tiny Tim will live. I see a vacant seat reply the ghost in the poor chimney corner and a crutch without an owner carefully preserved. Stay close to me, Le Roy. Each year, we folks at the Craft Foods Company look forward to the Christmas message from our founder, J.L. Kraft. This Christmas day, we'd like to share a part of his message with you. Mr. Kraft closes his letter by saying, For all of us, our childhood memories must invoke the strongest sense of the lifelong allegiance we owe as children of God to the great teacher whose birth we celebrate this Christmas of 1946. Jesus came to earth with many missions, but the picture of him as the beloved teacher is the one we see most often in the New Testament record. Let every man choose his own creed. But if we let our minds dwell on the great principles of living as taught by Jesus, we will see the perfect pattern by which to fashion our lives. All successful living, all fulfillment of the promise of our youth, all good citizenship in a world which profoundly needs good citizens must come out of following the teaching of the greatest teacher of mankind. A joyful Christmas, and may the blessing of the great teacher be with you. And with Mr. Kraft, all of the folks at Craft add their greetings and best wishes to all of you. We hope that with these Christmas adventures of the Great Gildish Slave, we're adding to the pleasures of your holiday. Now let's get back to the Great Gildish Slave. It's Christmas morning. Stockings have been emptied, so there are apples and oranges in all the chairs. Everyone's presents have been opened, so there's paper and ribbon all over the floor. Comes now the lull when the children don't know what to do, so they call up their friends. Sounds like Piggy did all right. Just reset and two magic tricks and a flashlight and a knife and an atomic pen and a basketball. Sure it's official. Nah, I never expected a scooter. Hey, can I come over Pig? Leroy, that's no way. Should I ask him over here? No. I've been right over Pig so long. Well, what about Craig Bullard? Why don't you go over and play with him? He's sick. They won't let me. Who won't let you? His governess. I'll be over Piggy. Come here, my boy. Now what? What kind of presents do you want me to take over to little Craig? Oh. We agreed, Leroy. That's right, we did. Why don't you let him have that sand toy Aunt Hattie sent you? That's a good present. I can have a lot of fun with it. You had one of those four years ago. Aunt Hattie must think you're still nine years old. Oh, gosh, it picks up the sand and dumps it in the... Little Craig is just the right age for it, my boy. Oh, okay. But you tell him I get to play with it whenever I want. I'm sure Craig will be very generous with it. Now, what else? How about one of those books? Oh, nobody wants a book. Yeah, but I got stuck with two. Here's one. He might like it. It's got pictures. Yeah, well, I'll take it. Have you anything you can contribute, Marjorie? Yeah, how about her? Pick out anything I got that he might like. You're pretty safe. Underwear, stockings, jewelry. Who'd want any of that? I like it. Hey, what about that box of candy from Ben? Oh, no. Why not, my dear? We've got tons of candy around the place. What if Ben comes over? He'll want me to give him some. Tell him I ate it. Who knows? Maybe he'll believe it. I suppose I look a little foolish on the street in broad daylight. What do I care? The kid enjoys it. What do I care? A darned beard gets in your mouth. Tastes funny. Oh, well. I haven't even got a Christmas wreath on the door. Rich cheapskates. Try the doorbell. Come on. I know you're in there. I hear somebody shuffling around. Well, Merry Christmas. Is nobody home? There isn't. Well, I just... If you're selling something, we don't want any. Oh, I'm not selling anything. Is nobody home, you say? You're a burglar. I am not. I'm Santa Claus. Get out of the door. I'll call the police. My dear madam, I am not a burglar. Then why are you trying to find out if anybody's home? I happen to be your neighbor from across the street, Mr. Gildersleeve. I don't know you. Little Craig knows me. I brought little Craig some presents. Is that what you've got in that bag? Of course. You're sure it isn't burglar's tools? I'm not a burglar. Look, I'll show you my driver's license. What for? So you'll know who I am. There. Glockmorton P. Gildersleeve, 738 Lakeside Avenue. That's right across the street. Brown eyes, 5 feet 8. Weight, 230 pounds. I guess it's you all right. Come in. Right in here. There's someone to see you, Craig. Who is it? Surprise, Craig. Santa Claus. I've come to see if you've been a good boy. You're not Santa Claus. You're my father. No, I'm not. I'm old Kris Kringle himself. I thought you said you were Santa Claus. It's the same thing. Now, have you been behaving yourself lately? Sure. I've been in bed all the time. What have you got in the bag? I've got to check up on your record first. Let's see what it says about you in my little book here. Craig Bullard. I've got quite a few bad marks down here for you. Let's see. Yes, sir. Quite a few bad marks. Let me see the book. You know, sonny, Santa's book is confidential.' Santa has quit grabbing. Craig, get back under the covers. Have you got a handkerchief, Craig? Use your own. Hey, blow your nose, Craig. I don't need to. That's the way of all the time. You don't have to tell me. You have to be patient. No father and mother here for Christmas. I think your record is good enough, Craig. Let's see what Santa's got in his bag. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Ah. Ah, not a book. It's got pictures in it, Craig. Maybe you'll like it. Nah. There. The child's history of England might be exciting. What else have you got? My George, if he was my kid. See what we have here. Ah, here's something. Feels like a toothbrush. Yeah, it is. A toothbrush for a Christmas present? Well, it's useful. See what else Santa has in his pack here. Ah. Another book? Nope. Yes, again. I'll open it. It. Oh, boy. Candy. What's that candy? Just chocolates, miss. He's not allowed to have it. On Christmas? She stinks. Craig. I can't do anything with him. Oh, no. We must be patient. Remember, the little fella doesn't feel well. I think I've got something here that'll cheer him up. Here. There. What is it? Take the paper off. You'll see. Huh. Like it? The sand toy. That's for kids. If you listen to me, you spoil little brat. Miss Dover, don't let him touch me. Go right ahead, Sandy Claus. Do anything you want. All right, George, for two cents, I'd wail the living daylights on him. Shut up. I haven't even touched you. Shut up and have a piece of candy. Merry Christmas. Oh, someone just came in downstairs. Oh, Craig. Mommy. Well, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Bullard. Gildersleeves. Yeah. Craig, darling, I'm so sorry we couldn't get here last night. Are you all right? Sure. Did you bring me any presents? I certainly did. Well, I wasn't sure you'd get here, and I dropped over to see if Craig was all right. Brought him a few little things. I hope Craig thanked you. Craig was his usual charming self. Well, I'll be running along. Why don't you all come over after a while and sing some Christmas carols? Well, it'll depend on how Craig's feeling. Well, bring him along. Glad to have him. Merry Christmas, Craig. Oh, goat, he would be the first. Oh, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Well, and here's Floyd right behind you. Merry Christmas, Floyd. Merry Christmas, Commissioner and Judge. Nice to have you around. Shall I bring him the punch now, Miss Gildersleeves? The punch by all means, Bertie. By all means. Punch? Take Floyd's coat, Marjorie. Take the judge's coat, Leroy. Okay. Can we start singing now, Wong? I don't know. Why not? Floyd, will you do the honors at the Wimbley? I could make a stab at Jingle Bells. Couldn't have a better starter. Come on, Marjorie, Leroy. Hey, this is a real instrument. It's a Wimbley. A fine piece of furniture, too. Genuine Philippine mahogany. Don't say. How's this for a key? Okay. It's fine. All right, let's start together and finish together. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the way. One horse over a sleigh. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the way. Fine, Floyd. I had the wrong key. What else do you know? Well, I know one thing. The professor's thirsty. Get some punch for everybody, Leroy, Marjorie. And don't drink any of it yourself. Why not? Well, because just enough for the grown-ups. Starbeth! Wait a minute. It's Eve Goodwin. I've got it. Merry Christmas, Throckmorton. Merry Christmas, Eve. Come in. Well, aren't we going inside? Why should we? The mistletoe's out here. It's Throckmorton. I decided not to take any chances, Eve. Hold still. Throckmorton. I think you're stretching the meaning of the mistletoe. Well, Christmas comes, but once a year. Come in and sing some carols, Eve. All right, move over, Floyd. You got a real piano player now. Now, Throckmorton, I'm not so wonderful. Anybody that can read notes is better than Floyd. Hey, you can't hurt my feelings. Hi, Miss Goodwin. Hello. Hey, it's quite an outfit. Thank you. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas, Eve. Why something, Miss Goodwin? Well, um... How about Joy to the World? All right, fine. I'll see who that is, and we can start over. Oh, wait for you, Gilly. A compliment to the season, Mr. Gilly. TV! Merry Christmas, Commissioner. Merry Christmas to you, Chief. Come on in, fellas. Throw your coats on the hall table there. Hi, Pee-Vee. Greetings. Merry Christmas, everybody. You were just about to start Joy to the World, and now that the Chief's here, the bass is taken care of. Besides whatever Pee-Vee sings. Don't worry about me. I just float around. You're all right, Pee-Vee. Go ahead, Eve. We thought we'd accept your invitation. Glad to see you, Bullard. Mrs. Bullard. Craig's playing with his toy, so we have a few minutes at least. Glad you could come. I'm glad you're here. Listen to that wonderful singing. Now, aren't you just a little bit ashamed of yourselves? What do you mean? I know all about it. Going off and talking to lawyers about a separation. I told you this was a small town, my dear. A separation? Do you know where we've been on a second honeymoon celebrating our 15th anniversary? Well, I told Pee-Vee he was crazy. Come on in and sing, folks. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Good to see you. Birdie? I think she's ready to go out now. Oh, tell her to go ahead. Oh, no. I'll tell her myself. Excuse me, Mr. Gilseed. Can I go now? Yes, Birdie, and thanks for everything. And a merry Christmas to you. Thank you. Birdie, before you go, wouldn't you like to come in and sing that carol, the one you sang at your church last year? In there with all those people. Oh, they love it. Come on, Birdie. Well, if you say so. Come on, come on. All right. Attention, ladies and gentlemen. Birdie here has an old English Christmas carol she sings every year at her church. Would you like to hear it? Oh, yeah, please. What do you say? It's in the book there, Miss Goodwin. I think I can find it. Oh, here it is. Oh, yes, it's lovely. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody. With the good wishes of the Kraft Foods Company. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.