 It's 2021, and if you haven't noticed, everyone is addicted to social media. I say this while being part of the problem because you're watching this on social media. And while shifting the blame or making excuses is one of my strengths that I whip out every time I get dropped, that's not what this video is about today. We're going to be talking about the social media site that every serious cyclist is fiendishly hooked on. No, not Puck Moon and Instagram page. I'm talking about Strava because every single ride that you do is uploaded to this platform and then people can validate whether or not your ride was impressive or not by giving you a kudos. That makes every single ride that you do now a race because you've got 26 followers to impress and you don't want to let them down. Your average power needs to be high. Your average speed needs to be high. You need to get more elevation gain than any of your friends that day, set multiple PRs, and of course get those coveted KOMs. In case you've been living under a rock and probably still ride a steel frame with down tube shifters, a KOM on Strava, just like a KOM in the Tour de France stands for King of the Mountain. Except on Strava, a KOM doesn't necessarily have to be on a mountain. And instead of getting a polka dot clown jersey, you get a crown emoji next to your ride, which in the age of the internet gives you virtual bragging rights and that's arguably much more valuable than a jersey that you would never be caught dead wearing in public. Getting a KOM or QOM means that you're the fastest rider to have ever ridden that segment, unless of course somebody rode that segment without recording it on Strava, in which case you would never know, which brings us to an important point. If you ride but don't record your ride on Strava, did it even really happen? Let's ponder that for a second. No, no it did not. And you would never want to not record your ride on Strava because then it won't count towards your end of the year miles, hours ridden, and elevation gain, which is the ultimate way to flex on all your cycling friends on other social media sites in December. Now as a certified Strava addict, there's only one pro rider that you look up to, and that is Phil Gaiman. Philly G understands that real racing where you're actually riding alongside other competitors and seeing who can cross an actual finish line first is far inferior to racing strangers online, half of which didn't even know that they were racing or prepare nearly as much as you did to take that segment. That's why Phil quit pro racing to become a Strava racer and if you ask me, more pro riders should follow suit. Now, I have been informed that Phil does this ironically, hence the catchphrase worst retirement ever, so he's kind of like a cycling hipster. No, not the kind that crashed their brakeless fixies into parked cars while wearing skinny jeans. I take the opposite approach though. If I'm doing my local cat for crit, then I ironically let myself get dropped because, you know, I was just taking it easy that day, even though clearly I paid 40 bucks to race my bike and I could have just done a recovery ride by myself for free. With Strava though, I specifically designed my training around getting KOMs and bust out those large anal gains so I can get those sweet sweet kudos just like the cookie killer himself. So how did I do it? How did I get such a long list of Strava KOMs in the year of 2020? I mean, six KOMs in one year, that must have taken some next level badassery. You are not wrong. Let's start with step one. Step one, choosing your segments. This is going to sound a bit harsh, but most of the Strava KOMs out there are completely unachievable by 99% of us and that's because your local pros probably scooped up most of them. However, fear not because there are a ton of Strava KOMs out there and what you need to do is scour Strava for multiple hours per day when you should be working to find these specific segments that have a low volume of traffic on them. The fatter and slower you are, the lower the traffic on that segment needs to be in order to get that KOM. Any segment within a 400 mile race should do. Now, I have been known to drive up to 500 miles in order to attempt a 46 second KOM, but that's because this sport takes sacrifice. Other good KOMs to go for are ones in very high traffic areas, whether that be car traffic or foot traffic. This is because the danger of hitting a pickup truck or a small child on a Strider bike will discourage most people from attempting to get that KOM, but not the dedicated Strava Racer. Pick a segment on the busiest section of the bike path and then just blast through there at 30 miles per hour completely ignoring all traffic lights and pedestrian crossings. Keep in mind though that your technical skills will need to be on point because you're likely going to need to dodge old ladies taking a Sunday stroll, bunny hop dog leashes, and narrowly miss joggers who have headphones in who can't hear you yelling Strava at the top of your lungs. If they could hear you, of course they would get out of the way because everybody respects a dude in tight clothing racing absolutely no one for online respect points, but alas they would rather listen to Ariana Grande and nearly get run over by your zip 404s. Flat or slightly downhill KOMs can actually be easier to obtain if you're patient and wait for the right day, which brings me to our next step. Step two, follow wind conditions religiously. The Strava leaderboard only shows you who went the fastest. What it doesn't show you is that on the day that I snagged that segment I had a 30 mile per hour tailwind and I was drafting behind a semi. This means that you need to wait for the optimal conditions for each segment. I like to make an excel spreadsheet of every Strava KOM in my area and which direction it points. Then I check the weather every morning and if it's going to be a really windy day I drop everything I'm doing. I don't care if I had a recovery ride planned, if I have a ton of work to do or if it's my girlfriend's birthday. If it's gusting over 20 miles per hour I'm going after a segment that's pointing in the direction of that wind and honestly it may take the whole day too because you're going to have to wait until the wind really picks up or maybe a van passes so you can draft it into the segment and if you don't get it on your first try then you may have to try it two, three, shoot maybe 12 more times until you call it a day. This is the closest that I ever get to structured interval training but with that being said there's no sticking to a zone when you're chasing Strava KOMs. You just smash it as hard as you can until you get that segment or you completely crack and have to hitchhike home with some dude named Jim who keeps asking you whether or not you're training for that big race in France that Lance won a bunch of years ago. No Jim, I'm training for something much more important. Step three, marginal gains. Larginal gains are things that you do to your equipment or your body that have a very small impact on your speed but that you blow way out of proportion in terms of how important they are and you're going to need all of them if you're going to chase Strava KOMs. For example a regular gain if you could even call it that would be training properly with you know adequate time between hard workouts and plenty of time in zone two following a polarized distribution and blah blah blah boring. Let's get on to the exciting stuff because training properly is far too tedious and requires far too much hard work for you to stick to. First up make sure that you're riding the top of the line bike. It's been scientifically proven by my riding buddies who judge anyone who shows up to the group ride not wearing a full raffa kit that the more money you spend on your bike the faster you'll be. This research is backed up by the cycling industry that's constantly telling me that I can save 30 seconds by buying this wheel set, drop 25 grams by buying this stem and that I can ride more efficiently by spending more money on a set of pulley wheels than most people do on their entire bike. Once you've drained your entire savings account on the exact panorelo that Team Ineos uses because clearly they know what they're doing except you know not so much this year. Huh what model Bianchi does Team Yumbo Visma use? Wait they're on Cervelo? This is not making this decision any easier. Then it's time to get your kit in order. Not only is having a full aero helmet, aero skin suit, aero socks and having your body shaved from eyebrows down to your toes faster but it'll also let everybody on the bike path or the local park where your KOM hunting know that you mean business and you're a serious cyclist and they definitely won't think that you're just a giant douche. Step four every day is KOM hunting day. There's never a bad time to go Strava KOM hunting. For example you're on a recovery ride and all of a sudden you get an email notification that Rick just stole one of your KOMs that's within riding distance. Well I guess you didn't need to recover that bad anyway or maybe you're on a leisurely coffee ride with your boss because he heard that you ride and he wanted to join except he rides a little bit slower than you and he's killing your average speed for the week and hence the number of kudos that you're gonna get. Well I guess I didn't need that job that bad anyway. Then again I am about $10,000 in credit card debt right now due to some recent purchases. My recommendation is set your cycling computer to notify you anytime you hit a segment. That way you can bust out into a full sprint to try to get that KOM. This definitely won't piss off any of the people that you happen to be riding with whatsoever. Step five become a Strava stalker. Strava allows you to make sure that you're training more than all of your competitors so it's important to overanalyze every single ride that every fast rider in your area does to make sure that you're training both longer and harder than they do to display your dominance over them. Even though they don't follow you on Strava and probably have no idea who you are other than that guy who makes a lot of backhanded compliments on their Strava account like oh nice week last week you almost hit as many hours as I do on my recovery weeks or you know something like that. And of course on Strava you can also follow pros which is super helpful for knowing how to train properly. There's no need to follow a training plan when you can just follow what the fastest riders in the world do and then do the exact same thing the next day. Sure they may have more riding experience than you they're 20 years younger than you and they have far more natural talent than you do but look at how many KOMs they have I want to train like that. Just like with most social media Strava is all about bragging to your friends about your accomplishments and then realizing that your accomplishments really aren't much to brag about compared to all the pros that you follow and then feeling really bad that you don't ride nearly as much as some other people and that your five-minute max power is what a pro could easily ride at for three plus hours. Despite this you constantly check it for validation and if you try to ignore it well good luck with that because all I'm saying is whoever at Strava came up with the idea to email you every time one of your KOMs gets stolen is a freaking genius. Oh speak of the devil oh Rick again. What are the wind conditions today? 12 miles per hour southeast okay okay I can work with that. Where's my arrow helmet at?