 What am I doing with my life? Uh... Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Newton Football League! Three weeks ago, I embarked on a journey. Why don't I always say that? I've been saying that a lot. Dial it back. Three weeks ago, I was like, let's play random football video games. Let's see what's out there. Let's see if EA really is as bad as we say. And ended up having me play a lot of Roblox football. I'll say that. Try Doug Flutie's maximum football was the worst game I've ever played. And now we've landed on this. Um, I've done the tutorial. That's it. And I will say it's more fluid than Doug Flutie's football. Other than that, I don't know how I feel. They're roasting me already. I wanna- I'm gonna play online, head-to-head, Newton Football League. Dude, are there sweaters? Are there gonna be Newton Football League sweaters? I guess it's possible. Let's get in. I'm excited. Failed to create match. Does that mean nobody's playing online right now? I wouldn't be too shocked. Damn, it really does not want me to play. Alright, I guess I'm just gonna play now. There's the nuke to London Patriots. It's gonna be puns of the actual teams. Is that what this is? The New York Tyrants instead of the Giants. Mile Hychronic. Micro-hard mutilators? Pause. Pause! I might be that team, actually. Can you tell me why these logos are better than, like, the fake team logos they put in Madden? Bro, in Madden, when I get a New Jersey, I don't even get a logo. Look at these. These things are fire. Galaxy Chaos. Scare a line of panthers. Are they gonna get in trouble for this? Are you allowed to do this? Dukes of Hazard works at Hazard. Dude, this is hilarious. Actually, yo, I'm going the micro-hard mutilator. That's what I'm gonna call my shmeat for the rest of my life, actually. Nice cock. Nice cock. Nice cock. Nice. Micro-hard mutilator? Alright, micro-hard mutilators versus the Leveland Burns. Let's get it. Tutorial tips? Sure, actually. I wouldn't mind a little bit of help. Presents the game day battle. We're in hard crash in micro-hard machine. Sloppy banger? Okay. Somebody is really horny at this. Dude, look at, look at the players. Look at the teams. Look at everything. Jason Criers, like Jason Myers. How are they allowed to do this, actually? Oh, honestly, I kicked, I think. Oh, shit. I got a penalty. Alright, Bill, dude. I get it, bro. I get it. I'm gonna bomb it this time. Don't worry. Yo, they even got rain and the graphics, like, they're weird, but they're not bad, bro. I'm not even a lot. Oh, shit. Ooh! I don't even... I have no idea how I did that. I'm not sure how to tackle yet. I'll be totally honest. We're gonna play defense. Oh, we're absolutely going in a Legion of Boom formation. And we're gonna run cornerback lightning blitz. Shaquille Griffin, bro. This is legit. Are they updating the rosters? Caustic pooper, bro. Who got paid to do this? LJ Holler, Luna Gord. Okay, is that like a play on a porn star? Who is Luna Gord? Nick Chubby. Yo, why is he on his feet, bro? Oh, my God. Whoa. Did we just kill him? Wait, did I just kill the dude? What did I do? What? What do you mean? What do you mean he's dead? Is he completely useless now? What did I do to him, bro? Oh, I'm gonna get picked. I'm gonna get interception. Skirt. Oh, wait. Oh, he dropped it. That's dropped. Let's go. I killed another dude. How am I killing them, though? Oh, damn. Jamal Adams died. Blitz, boy, I'm sorry, bro. So it's 4th and 9th, though. Playing good defense here. Oh, my God. There's actually stats. Damn. Jamal Adams is dead. That's tough. Oh, okay. So they punted it. Looks like they're gonna probably get there before me. How do I s- Ooh! Shaquille! Look at Shaquille Griffin. Go! Oh, damn. They got to me. Oh, how about my feet? Oh, wait. They're spikes. Holy shit. I literally have no idea what's going on. But this is awesome. We got Grilled Dizzy. We got Insane Frown, Blitz Arson, and Hustle Kilsom. All right. Who's gonna get open? Who's gonna get open? Ooh, QBs, oh. Wait. Okay, B? Yup. Yup. Grilled Dizzy. Grilled Glizzy with the joke. Stain your feet! Stain your feet! I don't even know what I did, but I'm going to the end zone! Let's go! Why is this the coolest game I played? This is so much better than D- Don't go to Europe, bro. Don't ever make maximum football again when beauty football league exists. Dude, why are the graphics low-key solid? That's the weirdest thing to me, is the graphics are low-key solid. All right. We're gonna hit them on this corner route right here. Caught that shit. No better feeling just going to touch the exit. Maybe doubling my paycheck at the dog track. I'm kidding. Okay, so every once in a while, spikes just pop up. Why don't big hit? Big hit, big hit. Yup! Kill him! Kill him! Oh, he's punching him! I was clicking X and it was punching him. Hold up. Dirty tricks help. Thank you. Well, you can bribe the ref. Each team can bribe the ref once per half. When a ref is bribed, he may look the other way and not call penalties. Ref attack. When it's clear a ref is bribed, he has to be eliminated. Oh my God, there's so much. Chainsaw Massacre. I don't know how I pull out a chainsaw, but I want to do that. Quitting cigar. Sure, man. Oh, get there. Get there. Oh, no! Go! Go, go, go! Kareem Blunt. Kareem Hunt. Okay. All right. Overload blitz off the right side. I just want to keep lighting these dudes up, bro. Give me that! Oh, I missed it! No! And the spikes! Go, go, go, go, go, go! It died. All right. Oh, it's a fumble! Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's attack. Let's attack. Bop! Oh, shit. Oh, wait, what? Oh, I was down. All right, let's do a dirty trick. I want to do flame on. I don't know what the hell is about to happen here, but we're doing it. Oh, oh! He's on fire? Let's go! Oh, those are landmines. Okay, bet. Holy shit. He's fast. Oh, get you pussy. Get you pussy. Shit. I got to the five, though. Oh! No, stop! I need to figure out how you do that, bro. Okay, so I already used flame on. I can only use it once. Damn. We're just going to go QB roll out here and see who gets open. Is he open? B? Yup! Oh! Little possession. Oh, shit. People at once and two of my own dudes. Oh, Skyler's just injured, bro. DK, dead calf. Died. That's not cool. Dude, what happens if like, do I have an infinite amount of players that can sub in? Get your, shit your ass down, boy! Oh, you want the smoke? All right, defense has been clamping so far. Let's keep it up, boys. Oh, he goes with the pitch. Whoa! He ran a flea flicker, but this mouse can't catch for shit. Get shit on. Alien versus Predator. All right, so Speed Burst here. Oh! That was so close. Get to the cubes. Get to the cubes. Mine! No! No! Jump! No! Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. Wendy's four for four. He got that combo right there. Damn. He was getting his ass whipped. I literally don't know what I'm doing, but it's so much fun. That's yes, sir. Nope. Stop him out. Yup! He's about to die. No way. No way, he's still up. No way, he's still up. Get up, boys! Let's go! There we go. We needed that. Yup. This is called Berserk. This play is. Ooh, okay. Get there! No! No! I gotta be clicking the wrong button or something, bro. Oh. They couldn't cover me if I was an ass that had new pitch. What does that even mean, bro? I have 21 seconds to score here. Let's see if we just score this kick return. I'm gonna save my Speed Burst. Save it for the perfect moment. Yup. Get her on the edge. What'd you do if you just got blown up? No, no spikes. No spikes. No way, I'm gonna take this. No! No! Get up! Yup! Yup! No! Damn, Snarled Brosek died from a landmine. Got 58 rushing yards. They got negative 11. They have way more passing yards than me. It's honestly a good game. It's a minigame? Oh! Oh, it's like Dead Ops Arcade. How do I shoot? Oh, A? It's literally Dead Ops Arcade. I'm out of bullets. Can I reload? Damn. We're winning, but do not stop. Remember what everyone thought, Hilary. Damn, they're getting political in here, too. Don't take my monetization now. Right out the gates, we're going with a dirty trick. Let's go Shotgun. I honestly do not know how it works. I think I can, like, pull out a Shotgun and use it somehow. This is a quarterback run plane. Once the ball is snapped, the quarterback pulls out a Shotgun, which can be fired at defensive players. Shotgun auto targets, but has limited firing radius. The Shotgun has seven devastating shots. B fires the Shotgun. All right, let's get it. Come on. Come get this work, bop. No! I just wasted my play. That was going to be so cool. All right, I'm just going to use, I'm just going to use Playmon. Oh, there's a lot of mines. Get him. Damn it. Damn it. He hit the mine. Dude, that smack Kilsen literally just sacrificed himself for that tackle. Like, he killed himself on the grenade to injure two of my dudes and it got the time. All right. A straight pass play. Are you open? Got him! Woo! What a stud! What do we got? What do we got? What do we got? Bop! Ooh, I should just kept going to end zone. I was trying to whoop his ass. Yeah, let's run the screen. Let's see how it looks. Ooh, it sets up nicely. Get that speed boost and get in there. Apparently, there's no COVID rules at Mutant Football because these stands are packed. Honestly, better stands animations than Madden though. They're going hard up there. Ooh. Ooh, I did not even know what I ran but my QB is going to block me and I got in. QB's Sack Attack. Let's see what that is. QB's Sack Attack. The defense throws all rules of fairness and decency out the window and jumps across the line of supervision attempt to kill the opposing team's quarterback. The opposing quarterback can survive if he's alert and runs out of bounds before they can get to him. This play always results in a penalty on the defense. So I get the penalty no matter what but I kill the quarterback. All right, back. Let's kill him. No! Get out of there, bro! Getting a 15-yard unnecessary manslaughter penalty. I'll be uploading the video to the Watch Mutant QB's die. Mayfield? I'm sorry, bro. But get your shit out. All right, so we killed Baker Mayfield. Now the backup QB's in. What does Berserk do? The defense takes a Berserk injection before they start to play. The players under the user control grow spikes out of body and all of his skill ratings are boosted to the max. So whoever I use there is an absolute savage. I'm going to use a quit and cigar. Oh, okay, bet. Get there! Get there! Let's go! Kill him. Kill him! Korean blood! Yeah, this video isn't monetized. I'll tell you that right now. I think I still have... Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. I'm getting so good at it, bro. Holy shit. We're dropping people's elbows every single tackle. Second and 13. Get there. Get there. Get there. Yup. That's another kill, right? Is he dead? Oh, he's not. Damn. This game is actually so fun. Oh, give me that? No, I'm so bad. Dude, I'm... I'm the worst at that, like, for real. Oh! Oh! I'm with me! I can't... I cannot play defense like that. All right. Dirty tricks. I'm going to run Smash Face. Just a straight-up run play. Let's get it. Damn! Let's go! Oh. We can put the game away right here. This is the fourth quarter. All right. Love it up! Love it up! Get down! I showbo, bro. How do I showbo? Bah, bah, bah! Oh! I dug the shit out of him. I let him get up to try to make the tackle, and he still couldn't. All right. He's out of it and whatever. He needs to die. Jailbreak Blitz. I love how that sounds. Let's get in the backfield. Let's do some damage. Okay. Damn! He's rolling it out! What's he doing? No, you're not, bro. No, you're not. Kill him. Kill him. No. You will die. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. What's the penalty, sir? What's the penalty? Unnecessary main center on them? Dude, what was he doing? Yes! Got him in Mutant's bones. He's dead. Wow. They got that. I killed two, and they got the penalty for unnecessary manslaughter. Oh, they used the arson play. They're using it, and it's going ham. Can we get there, boys? Can we get there? Let's go. Go work. Third and seventh. Yup. Get there. Get there. Let's go. Dude, Blitz arson. Man's been going on today. Another QB sack. Oh, that's a kill. Get there, boys. Get there, boys. Ten seconds on the clock. Double cross has been our play, bro. I just got to beam one up. Oh, go. Go. Last play. Last play. Get in there. Let's go. All right. Let's get the 38 bomb. It ain't no Gritilla Togger. Inside beer. Get in there. I'll still kill some. Who's that supposed to be? Or is it just a dumb name? Hey. And they're the Fresh Prince of El Air? The micro hard mutilators are victorious. Final 38 to 15. In our first ever Mutant Football League game, and it was so much fun. Honestly, I'd be tempted to put this on, like, my wheel of mud stuff, but I'm almost a little worried that I'll instantly get to monetize, because I know this video. I have four kills. I murdered four people in today's video. 69 rushing yards. Nice. He's still beating and passing yards. 227. Eight first downs. No turnovers. Super fire. And my player stats. I'll still kill someone off, bro. All right. This game was 100 times cooler than I thought it was going to be. Dude, it plays kind of clean. This is actually so fun. It was fluid. I didn't feel like there's any cheese or total glitches or bullshit, like Doug Flutie's Maximum Football. I think there's a football game called Gridiron on Steam, and there's also Blitz the League that I've heard about. So I'm going to try and get those two in, but I got to figure out a plan first. So we'll get there. For now, this was a banger. Okay. I appreciate you guys. Thanks for watching as always. Peace.