 I've been thinking a lot in general really, but There's been a lot Going on I've got me in my head a lot which I'm in my head a lot. Anyways Whether or not that's a good thing is obviously debatable, but well one of those one of those things is Is what's Sort of what's the point of this channel and is some change justified so What I what I do have definitely is What I've been doing with the channel it's not like I don't understand what I'm doing myself Of course, I have at least some idea but So what the what it is that I'm getting out of it because it's not this has never been about you know popularity or anything like that For those who don't know I have been making videos That's the earliest ones are bad bad, but making videos since 2016 so it's it's been a while for almost five years now and What floating around 450 subscribers right now clearly? not Putting in the effort to try to optimize like high sub counts Not to say that I haven't been Improving things that I haven't been working on anything, but also like If the yield is that low if I've been doing this for Four almost five years now, and I'm looking at a that low of a sub count what's motivating me Because I clearly know when to call it quits with other things Later tools was a neat little thing that had existed for not even an entire year did wind up spawning the work that Became stringier Largely put on hold because of noticing the Tremendous inadequacies that's I felt Limiting my ability to do do do the kinds of things that I wanted to do and I had similar aspirations. Anyways, there's a set of Both parts of the compiler that I want to be developing and it makes I feel it makes more sense to get that foundation in place and then Potentially spawn up the project again. We'll see exactly how I feel about that but That it just made more sense to go that route similarly Leban was a neat little experiment, but Fighting within that is just too irritating. I'd be spending so much time Working around Assumptions that are made and whatnot that it Wouldn't be regularly making progress in the in the runtime itself. They're Other examples, but those are the two most public things the two most public cases of Hey, I'm doing this thing. I'm making progress, but there are reasons why that it's not justified pursuing this so I've pursued videos on YouTube for four almost five years now with the typical metric that people are using not Being what's motivating me. What is Motivating me that because if it was that I would have stopped a while ago or Had changed my approach for things to to better optimize that side of things Well, the full Story for that winds up being a very long drawn-out thing I'm not gonna get into that in this video what I Can boil it down to though is essentially a sort of skills development thing I don't know if anybody who was watching the original content is still around but as I said it was bad it is Certain Monotone speech and it's not the best camera angles and other stuff I do apologize for the shakiness that has been going on recently Because there are plenty of times where I'm you know recording this we're not pacing around the room like Fucking I don't know what you want to call it, but obviously pacing around the room My tripod broke I do have a tripod. It's just it's broken So I Do I need I need to order another one? I've got a shopping list of shit that I always put off actually placing the order until God sometimes two months later. I don't I don't know why but Hopefully it's not too bad right now. I've kind of got my elbow supported and whatnot and I'm not doing The image stabilization thing again and then for whatever reason at this distance Oh my god, it does horribly trippy things to the background and I I should have reviewed that a little bit better But I'm not I'm not doing that again. The tripod is definitely the right way to address that problem So Where am I where am I going with this? What does this have to do with why I've been doing these? Essentially it was only just personal growth Get better at Communicating at expressing my ideas. I'm sure it's Obvious. I don't go off of a script. I don't type the things out and then do that whole thing I'm actually trying to Do the like I don't say improvisation but just on the spot talks about things and You know, if the point is to make a very measured response to something and yes, that should definitely be done with a script, but I want to essentially force myself to And I have been to go Do the thing review it and spot my own like Shit, I paused way too long there or I'm doing all these little Interjection pauses that are they just awkward or things like that. I'm trying to improve my own on the spot speech It's been paying off actually it's been accomplishing the thing I want to but That was part of the reason why it was You know programming tutorials at first those if You haven't ever collected feedback from people should overwhelmingly actually be like written stuff blog posts especially the programming community just Generally prefers that kind of content and I fully understand why I Don't particularly care, but I'm weird I can't take the things that are my preferences and apply them to people in general because it just doesn't work out reliably at all You shouldn't do that in general by the way, but it definitely does not work well in my case Now if you're not aware and I can see that probably being the case I don't know people surprised me. I have been doing up content on DevTone And it's been going well. So I'd said the point of me doing these videos is not popularity That does not mean that I don't want Educational information that I can provide to to not reach tons of people That that is something that you would want It's just not the point of me doing Videos So at this point, I feel like it really makes sense to switch to Switch that style of content to something that would get just considerably more This is considerably more appropriate for it I've been satisfied with the results so far two three weeks Three weeks, I think into that and I've been quite satisfied with How things are Going even just you know so new But then Okay, if I take the programming stuff off And put it there What? What even is this channel? What do I produce? No, as I stated part of the reason for doing tutorials was that it was You know spread that information that I would like to be spreading, but it's also that it's very simple There's not a whole lot of personality that needs to be put into that because it's a Tutorial this you don't really need much of a personality for that don't beam, you know horribly monotonous, but that's basically it and That also means, you know, well, it's easy to Start with but there's not much opportunity to go further you Figure out personality stuff Work on injecting that and that's it's basically it plus it's kind of limited in my instance anyways because I Have a rather serious personality in general, so that's that's limiting in that regards No, I don't It's clear that I should Find something a little more room to grow Talking about tech isn't really it so What I don't know I'm still mulling that over, but something that I've been thinking is that it's Might actually be a good idea to Work on describing some of my own life experiences a bit better I'm one of the things I said I'm thinking a lot about things and I realize I'm not That great at explaining sort of some of my idiosyncrasies and why I am the way I am and It would be Good for me to work on explaining those things because inevitably people do provide feedback and you get called out on things and Forced to either defend your view or be like fuck actually you have some points What I did was not Dumb or People provide additional insight and you realize you were misinterpreting something or You're just I'm not explaining things well and people are asking for clarifications and it's like oh, hey I'm not explaining that well. I should work on explaining that a little bit better I Think I think that's what I'm gonna do for a while Just why am I good one guys?