 Someone's keeping me company while I'm waiting for my lecture. Trudden, are you gonna say hi to my vlog? Hi. Trudden's filming a video. Camera reception. Is it this way? It's got to be. I don't know. I lost. Great. Let me go on that. Oh my god, that's me. I hate myself. I don't know if you want to die. That's gonna be an interesting intro. I said no suicide threats while I'm filming. Hey guys, how are you doing? What's up? How are you hanging? Please don't be hanging. That'll be pretty bad if you're hanging. It's a life update video. We ain't done one of these in a long time. A lot of shit happened, guys. A lot of shit. Let me know while I'm near the someone. I quit. So, the life update is I'm under the home treatment team. I'll call you all back in a second. There we go. Peace and quiet. Right, so I'm back under the home treatment team. I've been under them now for just over a week and they are offering amazing support. I saw a consultant today and the consultant was actually really supportive. Nope. I'll say, is a relapse does not mean you fail at recovery, which is something that you're gonna see in this video. This video, I'm gonna delete out the triggering part, so it's not gonna be triggering. How I feel at the moment? I'm everywhere, bitch. I'm showing every emotion at once. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll link the link in the description and you can see what I mean. Like, it's a mess. I'm a mess. So, the main reason I went back under the home treatment team is because my mood has been shifting rapidly. I've been having a lot of flashbacks and I've been hallucinating a lot. That's just the blunt of it. And I've made a lot of videos talking about this. That's just what's going on with me at the moment. I've got a safety plan in place. I've got a transition plan for going back to my mom's for Christmas. I've got Christmas crisis numbers to call if I need. I've got my medication sorted. Everything is going good. If you are new here, make sure you hit the subscribe button. Leave a like, comment. Make sure you leave some video ideas and requests in the description. Or the description. In the comments. That's what I meant. In the comments. Leave it in the comments. Thanks for reading. You two are so lovely people. I know. Amen. I don't even know if I should probably talk and explain it to you all. Do what I want to do first. I don't want to explain it. It was actually somebody's birthday. My medication's getting left alone. I'll just add about that. I'm currently walking back to the overground and then I'm going home. It was kind of a waste of time. I'm not going to lie. I didn't know I had to complain. You know what I mean? I didn't know I had to complain. I'm not lying. That's kind of like my... We are running then. But kind of is. Yeah. You know what? My anxiety is a lot much higher. I'm going to give you a full mental health update in this video. It's a full day. I choose my actual camera but I'm still way too awkward to just don't like help my camera to record on. It's not really that normal to walk around to look into a camera as I'm going to the overground station because... with you needs an overground. Apparently I've got two left. I've got Siri giving me a live session and they're actually... So it just gave me a compliment on how well I talk about mental health and how I open up people and how it will probably help you feel less alone. I think I don't mind talking so I might allow it around here because I'm literally never going to come down here again. The consultant's happy to leave my medication to my GP to deal with. Happy to leave me on the benzo. Thank God. Apparently it works. I get told to go and have some sleep though. Oh, Lydia got lost trying to fight in the overground. You don't normally use the overground, which is why it bothers me. It's still really weird and alien to me the fact that I live in London. That's hard. But I don't know. I just... I genuinely cannot get my head around the fact that I live in London. It proper... I don't know. It does some wacky shit to my head. I don't know. I mean, I'm really like tired but hired and moored because of your energy truth. I wish monsters wanted me. Someone about tweet monster and get them to spawn me. I've got a turn left on accident lane. Thank you, Siri. I'd be so lost without, like, Apple Maps. As I was back, I threw it to Google because it actually takes me to the right place. I used to finish industry for half an hour ago. It doesn't have been. And, like, the whole update is that the home team and team are actually decent. Trying not to get hit by big pink glory, isn't it? And... The Maori driver. Update of the appointment currently after is I'm feeling a lot more confident now because I know they're not trying sectionally. I just want to be convinced what's going to happen. In case you missed my two live streams where I was ranting about it. Two hours each. I don't know. I run off very long. A lot of advice to speak to my team for you about potentially increasing the days of hand nails. I don't really want to because I know that I just have to declare that and do everything I can to avoid that. I'm just trying to get a little shot at the moment. So, yeah. Up and down. I wish I was more confident in filming on my whole camera because it's been my career to get with me, but I'm not. So... What are you going to do? Yeah, I am very happy with how I've been doing. I was terrified there was going to come a medication. I was terrified there was going to mess with my medication mainly because of what the medication I had. I think I just got left to my GEP, which is probably my GEP list is what I have to say. Are you all just opinion? Are you all just opinion and real opinion here? Possibly the best console that I've seen. I'm giving the fact that it is at that hospital. I can't believe I just said that. Actually, luckily we just said that. Like, I need to, like, start using my actual camera and more because deal with your quality on the smoke. Perhaps, we'll die in this way. We'll die in my hair. Should I do the update while I'm dying my hair and fixing the mast editors? I'd say that would be good content. And also an excuse to not lie in bed, of course, to try and make the destination for my rest. I know. If I could just tell me that I've arrived, I kind of know it is true. I do look nice in it. I'm a great person. What's up, guys? I just wanted to say that I stan Jordan, like, fucking stan. Jordan, you're fucking awesome. Let's have a cake unboxing then I'm going to film a life update video because, mental health. A. We have got a choco shot. Brownie bit. Ice cream. Got colour. Actual cake. I fucking stan it. Jordan. Yes, bitch. I've got a good thumbnail idea. Get invested with Tom, yo. With that in mind, I'll see you guys soon. Oh, wait. No, no, no. I'm putting my book here. If you do here and didn't know, I found a book. An Edition 2 is coming up at the end of the year. So this is now becoming limited edition. You can only get Edition 1 for a limited period of time. I'm super excited because it is literally over double the size of this and bitch, I am excited. This book, not the best, but it was a lot at the time for me and it's even better now. So, holy fuck, I'm excited. And yeah, there's going to be links at the end of this video that I would like to follow. Also, if you don't know, I started a Patreon and if you want more information about that, you can happily go and check out the links to the last live stream in the description down below and skip to the part where it is, I think it's near the start, where I explain all the different tiers and what there are. It would mean a lot if you could support me if you want to do one-time donation. You can donate to my PayPal.me link which is in the description down below. Everything, as always, is linked down below in the description and like I said, if you're new here, hit the subscribe button to make new videos every single day and peace, you know. What up, bitch? I need to stop. I need to go to sleep. Bye. There we go. Lydia's filmed the video.