 Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Kathy Lewis, Elliot Lewis. Two of the most distinguished names in radio. Appearing each week in their own theater, starring in a repertory of transcribed stories of their own in your choosing. Radios for most players in radios for most plays. Ladies and gentlemen, Elliot Lewis. Good evening. May I present my wife, Kathy? Good evening. We're privileged tonight to introduce to you a new author. The young man is better known as an actor and announcer, but as you will soon hear, he also can write more than his name. May we present Tom Dixon. Good evening. The play is called An Ideal Couple. And since Tom wrote it and also has the other gifts Elliot mentioned, he will play the radio announcer in the story. So, Tom, Kathy, here we go with An Ideal Couple. Oh, Mrs. Johnson, I'll bet you say that to all the boys. I don't know all the boys. Oh, you are the sweetest talking little lady we've met in a long, long time. Mr. Johnson, how do you ever hold your own, being married to a woman with such a way with words? It's all right. All right. But tell me, when is this gift of gab of hers most apparent? Well, you know... I'll bet it's twice as powerful when the little darling wants a new hat, huh? At least twice. Now let's get on with the more serious aspects of the situation. Mrs. Johnson, do you know why the Johnsons are on our program? Happy, though married? I think I do. How about you, Mr. Johnson? I'm afraid not. You mean you don't know why you're here? No. No, I don't. Oh, do you have a surprise coming to you? Because the judges have decided that Mrs. Johnson's letter was the best received in this month's contest, which makes the Johnsons our ideal couple on happy, though married. I told you I had a surprise for you, Mr. Johnson. How do you feel now? Bewildered. Bewildered, huh? How about you, Mrs. Johnson? How do you feel? Just wonderful. I'll bet you do. Well, before we tell you about those grand surprise gifts our sponsors have lined up for you, let's sketch in a bit of your married life to prove that you deserve to be our ideal couple. How to start with, Mrs. Johnson, how long have you been married? 25 years this month. 25 years? Now, that deserves a hand! How long did you know each other before you became engaged? Oh, we knew each other from the time we were children, but we didn't start going together until Stan finished college. Now, how did your first date come about? We really didn't have a first date. I went to a high school graduation party with another beau, and, uh, well, you know how those things happen. Oh, do I? Uh, Mr. Johnson looked pretty good, do you? Well, yes. Now, I want you to listen to the song Larry Robbins is going to play on the organ. Larry? You know what that song is? No. No. That's one of the songs that was popular in those days when you two fine people first met. A song that we understand was played at that party Mrs. Johnson was just talking about. Mr. Johnson, did you come to the party alone? As a matter of fact, I did. Gee, Howie, I'd forgotten how cozy these hometown parties were. After the glamour of the university? Sounds a bit silly, Stan. Nothing there was quite like this. You mean no party at State Ad Leola Web in attendance? Huh, is that obvious? Obvious? Would a swat in the nose seem obvious? You've been staring at her all night. She certainly has, uh, bloomed. That's the word you're searching for, my friend. Why don't you ask her to dance? She came with Benton, didn't she? I'll let the great Jim Benton scare you off. Leola is just, uh, passing fancy with that laugh. Why does he let her sit on the sidelines while he swaps jokes with the boys? Maybe the jokes are safer. What do you mean by that crack? Nothing, nothing at all. Besides, she's not sitting on the sidelines. She's heading this way. I bet she asked one of us to dance. I bet it's you. Oh, you must be crazy. I bet you'd buy it. Okay. Why did you get back from the university? Uh, well, yesterday. Yeah, it was yesterday. Oh, it's wonderful. It's just wonderful to have you back. Uh, this is a lady's choice, Stanley. I thought, uh, oh, that is if you care to... To, uh, to dance? Oh, brilliant. Yes, would you care to? Uh, uh... Yeah, he'd be delighted. Hello, Howard. Good evening, Leola. Well, don't just stand there, old man. Get going. Oh, yes. Uh, it was very nice of you, Leola, to invite me to dance with you. It wasn't nice of me at all. I just wanted to dance with one of the handsomest men in the crowd. Johnson, you owe me a dollar. What do you owe that awful Howard Rines one dollar for? Oh, nothing. It's just an old bet we had. What do you see in Howard as a friend? Well, I don't know. We've been friends all our lives. What do you ask? Just curious. You're with Jim Benton tonight, aren't you? I suppose you could call it that. Yes. You dance very well, Stanley. Thank you. You dance beautifully. Just beautifully. Tell you, I... I think that Benton must be a bit silly in the head. What do you mean, Stanley? Passing up a chance to dance with you for a few... Oh, spoke too soon, Harry Kane. Really? Just my luck. I wonder what got into Mr. Benton. Oh, wait a minute. I mean, isn't that just like a man? Ignore a girl all night, and then just when she starts to have a little fun. So she asked you to dance, huh? You accepted, of course. As a matter of fact, I didn't. You didn't? No, I... I was too scared. A friend accepted for me. Well, so much for your first dramatic meeting. Now let's get to the proposal. Mr. Johnson, don't tell me you let her do that, too. No, I... I did that, all right. How was he, Mrs. Johnson? Romantic? Oh, my, yes. Do you think you were romantic, Mr. Johnson? I... I guess you could call it that, yes. Did you get down on your knees? Oh, I went farther than that. I was... I was flat on my stomach. That was the nicest picnic spread I've eaten in a long time. I'm glad you like it. In this spot, the brook, the trees, wildflowers. I haven't felt this good in my whole life. Why should you feel so extra special good today? All out of reasons. The food was good. The spot is lovely. The grass feels good against my belly. Excuse me, stomach. And... And the greatest reason, I guess, is because you're here. Really, Stan? I mean it. You're wonderful. It's just too bad Mary and Bob couldn't come after accepting your invitation and everything. Oh, well, you know, Bob and Mary... always changing plans at the last second. Yeah. They do seem to be happily married, though. I suppose so. Bob certainly isn't my idea of a good husband. Oh? Who is? Who's what? Your idea of a good husband. Jim Benton? Me? Mary Jim Benton? Jim Benton were the last man alive. I'd be an old maid. Oh, I certainly like a nickel for every time Mr. Benton proposed to me. I thought all the girls considered him such a whale of a catch. Not this young lady. Uh... What type of man would you like to have for a husband? Oh, I don't know. Somebody that's considerate, steady, easy to get along with. Good looking too, maybe. Uh-huh. I see. Why'd you ask, Tim? Well... Well, Leola... I... Yes, Tim? Leola, I don't qualify for looks much, but I am steady. I think I'm considerate, and people say I'm easy to get along with. We've been seeing each other pretty steady for almost a year now, ever since Jim Benton left town. And I honestly think you're the most wonderful girl I could ever hope to know. This might seem sudden to you, but I've thought about us an awful lot. And the more I think, the more I... The more I... Go on, Stanley. The more I think we could be happy together. I love you so very much. Please marry me. Stanley... Of course I'll marry you. Well, how do you mean, Mr. Johnson? You were flat on your stomach. We were on a picnic, and I was stretched out on my stomach in the grass. And you accepted his proposal, Mrs. Johnson, even though we spoke it from that unromantic posture? I certainly did. And glad you did too, I bet. Now, about arguments. Did you have many disagreements in your 25 years of married life? Oh, just a few. Little ones. I see. Mr. Johnson, how did you settle your quarrels? Well, we compromised. Compromised? She saw things her way, and I saw things her way. Now, Dougie, darling, Mommy's right here to see your little man doesn't cry there. No, no, no, no. Leo, I think you picked Douglas up too much. Aren't you going to spoil him? Spoil him? With love and affection? Spoil him, trying to make up for the things his father doesn't give him? What thing? But you think it's right to raise a child in a one-bedroom walk-up apartment? It may not be right, dear, but it's all we can afford. Lots of kids grow up strong and healthy in worse places than this. Not my son. I'll not raise my son in this dirty, ugly little flat. It's not dirty and it's not ugly. Howard says he thinks you've done a wonderful job decorating the place. Howard, what does he know about decorating? Just thought you'd be pleased. Oh, I'd be pleased if you'd stop spending so much of your time with Howard. Why? Well, he's not a good influence on you. He's lazy. He has no ambition. Funny, please. In the first place, I don't spend all of my time with Howard. And besides, I'm not a child. I'm not liable to be influenced that easily. Now, please, let's just stop this. You're tired and I don't blame you, but honestly, we're doing fine. Now, tell me the truth, aren't we? Compare it to Alice and Jim Benton. We're doing quite badly. Jim Benton inherited a factory in $100,000. How can you compare us to Jim Benton? Be reasonable, dear. Be reasonable? Why don't you start being reasonable? I don't worry about myself, Stanley, but we've got a son now. You have responsibilities. You can't afford to let yourself be pushed around. You can't afford to let yourself be talked out of a raise that you deserve. You've got a son. Tell me what it is you want of me, Leola. I want to make you happy. I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. Just tell me what it is you want. Those are big words. I mean them. I swear it to you. I mean them. You've got to stop sitting around, Stanley. You've got to progress. You're too easy going for your own good. You used to tell me you liked an easy going man. But you aren't going at all. You're at a standstill. You don't seem to have any ambition. You're so ridiculously content and you haven't got anything. I have a lovely wife and a fine son and a job and a place to live. What more do I need? Do you think Jim Benton would be content? Jim Benton. You always come back to him. Benton was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He's a drunk, a boor and a vicious snob. But you hold him up as a shining example of manhood. Why? I don't know. Sometimes I think you wish you'd married him. He had only to ask me. What? You heard me. I'll see you, lady. Where are you going? Does it really matter? Duggy, no. Did that mean old daddy of yours slam the door and make my little baby boy cry? Saw things her way and you saw things her way. All that's pretty good, Mr. Johnson. It's just such a sense of humor about serious matters that made you and Mrs. Johnson this month's ideal couple on happy though married. And now in just a moment we'll continue your story. But first... You are listening to Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage tonight's play, an ideal couple. With warm weather here and people outdoors more often, this is a good time to get safety-minded about our timber lands. Nine out of ten of last year's foremost fires were man-made. Americans have a vital stake in our woodlands and their contribution to national defense. Don't burn them up. Let them grow. Crush cigarettes out. Really out. Douse campfires thoroughly. Turn them over and douse them again. Prevent forest fires. Save America's timber reserves. And here we are back on happy though married. So far we've found that this month's ideal couple, Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Johnson, met at a party. She asked him for a dance. He proposed while lying on his stomach in the grass at a picnic that they faced their little differences with humor and compromise. Just a few more questions and we'll present them with a host of surprise gifts from our sponsor. For instance, how about vacations? Did you spend them together or separately? Well, uh, the first few we spent separately, but we've spent them together ever since. Why did you start out separately? I liked to fish, but Leola didn't. I learned to like fishing. How about that? She learned to like fishing? There was one corking good meal, my friend. So was, so was. It's not a stand. Anything new? Well, he asked. Look, I've known you for a hundred years. I can read your moods like a book. You've been gathering wool all through lunch. What's up? Nothing. Leola? Does she find out we're still having lunch together? Yeah. Look, Stan, don't let her get you down. We can just as easily skip these lunches. Don't be blue, boy. You're forgetting our annual two-week quest for those beautiful mountain trout is only a month away. What's the matter? Leola wants to go along. Oh? She said she hated to be away from me. She said she realized I needed a rest, but she thought it was selfish of me to go away alone when she doesn't get any time off with any of her friends. What with the boy and everything? And what kind of surprised me? Well, you know, she doesn't really like the great-out-of-doors that she calls in. And it's real sweet of her to want to go along with us when she doesn't really like it that much. With you? What? Go along with you. She knows I won't go if she goes. Why do you say that? That's not true. She said what a good time the three of us would have. She didn't mean it. She wants you 52 weeks out of the year. She certainly doesn't want to give you up for two weeks to me and some fish. She's gonna hone in on that, too. So she'll take everything you have that's you and the story. Howie, that's enough. It's true, you poor stupid jerk. Can't you see it's true? I said that's enough. Now, cut it out. You've no reason to talk about her like that. She's my wife. Cut it out. I'm sorry, Stan. That's all right. Don't talk about it anymore. No, really. You're quite right. I had no reason to speak that way. I'm sorry. Talk as if I were unhappy. How do I tell you I'm not unhappy? Okay, Stan, let's forget I mentioned it, huh? Those fishing trips were fun. They were, my friend. They were. Maybe next year. Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my. Mrs. Johnson, you killed me. Just like that, she says, I learned to like fishing. Oh, no wonder you're an ideal couple. Well, we're getting close to those pay-off gifts from our sponsors. But first, let me ask you about your family. How many children? Just one. A boy or a girl? A boy, Douglas. And judging from the gleam in your eye, Mrs. Johnson, he's Mama's pet? He's a wonderful boy. Mr. Johnson, does Douglas favor you or his mother? Well, there, the boy was really lucky. Why? Well, he looks like me and acts like his mother. After a thorough review of the case of the people versus Douglas Johnson, in which the defendant has been found guilty as accused, the court passes the following sentence. The theft of $250 represents a major crime. But in the opinion of the court, since this is the defendant's first offense and the money has been returned, society's demand for punishment in this case might only make a hardened criminal out of a sensitive, restless boy. Therefore, the court sentences you, Douglas Johnson, to two years in prison, sent and suspended. You are hereby placed in the custody of your parents for the duration of said sentence. Court dismissed. Oh, Doug. Doug, my baby. I'm glad you're free, son. I can't say that I'm happy about the whole thing, but maybe it's taught you a lesson. Lesson indeed. Doug would never have taken that $250 if you'd given him a little more spending money. No boy of 18 needs more than what I... I know, I know, I know. Then there's the line. When I was a boy, I only got $1 a week. Well, your folks were poor. We're not. Do you insist on raising Doug like he belonged to a family of paupers? I know, my boy, he's not a common thief. If you'd only give him a decent allowance. I can only say, Mr. Johnson, that if your son is as handsome as you and as charming as his mother, he must be quite a boy. Well, as our ideal couple, you've enjoyed a rich, full life together. Now what about the future? Mrs. Johnson, what are your plans? I think I'll start spending a little of that money. We've worked so hard to save. Stacking you hats every day. How about you, Mr. Johnson? What do you want to do with the future? Well, now that I'm 55, I think I've finally acquired the wisdom to start living like a kid of 25. Man, for the 25 years we've been sneaking lunches in this back alley greasy spoon. I've always wound up by saying that was a carking good meal. Or words of that general effect. Today I can't honestly say that. Why not, Howie? I thought the steak was pretty good. A meal is more than food, Stan. It's an occasion for comradeship. Conviviality in general, good cheer. You, my lifelong crony, have been anything but the ideal companion for such an event. I'm sorry. There you sit, a retired businessman. You've achieved a goal that few men ever reach. You should be bursting with pride and happiness. I know. I just seem to have lost interest in things. Lost interest in things. Stan, my boy, you've lost more than that. You've lost your life. They've squashed you down to a size of a worm. Who? Don't be evasive. Your wife, Leola, your son Doug, that's who. Between the two of them, they've knocked the stuffings out of a wonderful guy and left you. Whatever it is that you've become. Shut up, Howie. Okay. No. Don't shut up. You're right. I'm sorry. But it stings to hear someone put into words the secret thoughts with which you've lived intimately for years. I'm 55. I have money, position, a wife, and a son. And I'm terribly unhappy because none of it gives me pleasure. Stan, you're only 55. And why don't you do something about it? What can I do to change it now? You've even lost the power to hope. How does a man get that way? What makes you play act at being the ideal husband for so long? You haven't loved Leola for years, have you? Have you? No. Not for years. All right, then why do you stick? I don't know. First it was Doug, I guess. Then it was a sense of duty. Lately, habit. Habits can be broken, you know. How? Well, to start with, why don't you join me in my life's big moment? That world cruise I was telling you about, you've gone for one whole big beautiful year. Love to have you along. I leave next Friday night? I couldn't. Stan, do I have to start painting the dreary picture of your future if you don't make the break? No, no. I'm fully aware of those horrors. A trip around the world would be fun, all right. Would make up for all those fishing trips we never had. When are you leaving? Next Friday night. All right, I'll go. Good, that's just fine, Stan. I promise Leola I'd go to a radio broadcast with her on Friday afternoon. She wrote a letter or something, I don't know. Then we'll leave Friday night. Friday night? Then you'll be free of it, Stan, on Friday night. And I'll bet at 55, Mr. Johnson, you'll put to shame any squirt of 25. Well, there they are, ladies and gentlemen, the Johnson's. This month's ideal couple on our program, Happy Though Married. Mrs. Johnson's letter, awarded first place by our judges, is going to win for this ideal couple the following wonderful prizes. First, a set of beautifully matched wardrobe trunks. Inside, you'll find clothing for both of you to last for years. We secretly got your measurements. Besides clothing, you'll find jewelry, shaving accessories, toiletries, sewing kit, even shoelaces. Everything needed to clothe and keep a man and wife in comfort for a long, long while. Because, in just 30 seconds, you will be whisked from the studio and taken by special limousine to the airport. A plane is waiting there to fly you to the coast, where you'll board one of the largest luxury liners of float to start a six-month fully-paid cruise and tour of the continent of Europe. All this to start right now because you are our ideal couple. On your way and boom by eye. Ideal couple starring Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. In a moment, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis will tell you about next week's play. Tomorrow night, there's music in the air on CBS Radio. Music and songs of foreign-born composers. Here, baritone host Donald Richards, soprano Camilla Williams, tenor Clark Dennis, song stylist Betty Cox and Alfredo Antonini's orchestra with Avalon, Swedish Rhapsody, Alexander's Ragtime Band, I'm Walking Behind You and many other top hits. Remember, tomorrow night on most of these stations, there's music in the air. And now once again, Kathy and Elliot Lewis. Tom Dixon's venture into writing. An ideal couple with Tom playing the program master of ceremonies. And Paul Freese grew young and then old with us. Next week, we're going to do a play about the same kind of people, same age and circumstances, and also with a child. And by showing the other side of the coin, we'll see what else can be done with three lives. The story was written by Shirley Gordon and she calls it A Day to Remember. It's fine listening for this time of the year. Until next week then, thank you for listening. Good night. Good night. Music for tonight's story was composed and conducted by Fred Steiner. The Kathy and Elliot theme is by Ray Noble and the program is transcribed and directed by Mr. Lewis. George Walsh speaking. Sunday afternoons here the World Music Festivals on the CBS Radio Network.