 Hey guys it's David back here again with a question from a viewer and this one says I'm working on my emotional triggers. Is it ever possible to never get triggered again? Can I remain indifferent to feelings like rejection or feeling disapproved of? Can I get to the point where my tendency to feel negative emotion is reduced to almost nothing at all? Short answer to that question? No. And I'm going to call this video Maturity means accepting your vulnerability. A lot of self-help there's kind of an underlying kind of a message that gets sent out there that there's this magic pill or some technique you can do where if you master it you'll never feel any negative emotion again. And if we're trying to kind of master indifference so that we never feel any kind of negative emotion again I just want to say here that's not the right approach to take that's not what this is about maturity means accepting I am vulnerable. It's quite a childish thing really to have this goal or this this vision of yourself as someone who is always unperturbed never disturbed about anything indifferent this kind of cool laid-back person all the time doesn't really care about things it's kind of like this childhood thing the the obsession and childhood of like the superhero who is always invulnerable and always does things right and you know always saves the day if you like. That's not what this is about this is not possible if you're a human being you're going to feel negative emotions and that's part and parcel of being a human being. So this thing about never feeling negative emotions no that's not what we're ever aiming for here if you want to shut off your emotions entirely there's plenty of ways to do that you know there is alcohol you could just drink alcohol and that is a very effective way of shutting down your your negative emotions of course it comes with terrible consequences especially over a long period of time but there are even other forms of therapy that will help you to kind of shut off your feelings and that's not what you're after here. Rejection for instance will happen and the truth is that you can do all sorts of work in yourself you can do inquiry you can do cognitive reframing everything else but there's always going to be a kind of a rejection or a sting to rejection as an example because that hits us somewhere deep in the nervous system this thing about this tribal thing of being accepted and not being rejected it's always going to sting it's always going to be there the question is how long do we stay in that emotional space so never being triggered again is never the goal it's always about how quickly can I allow myself to feel this and how how much permission do I give myself in terms of being allowed to feel negative feelings that's a mature response okay maturity is of course I'm vulnerable to negative emotions and I'm okay with that okay they're going to come up from time to time it's part of being human being it's part of being a person who has things they care about who wants things for themselves wants things for their life so it's about recognizing the upside of allowing yourself permission to feel bad because if you don't if we cower away from that feeling of rejection it's going to keep us stuck in life so we want to welcome up that feeling of rejection even welcome up that fact that it's going to sting a little bit but that that's okay and we learn how to feel it embrace it bring it up process it feel it and let it go quickly that's what we're after here so it's never about not feeling negative emotions the maturity here is that of course we feel negative emotions and it's okay and normal to feel that natural human to feel negative emotions short video guys but I hope that's a helpful reminder that there's nothing wrong with you if you're feeling these negative emotions it's kind of part and parcel of the experience of being a person take care and I'll talk to you guys again soon