 Today millions of people across the world are getting married at a very early stage. Now we're talking about below, marriage below the age of 18, which has become a common issue in many countries. As a matter of fact, one-third of girls in developing countries are getting married at an early stage. This is no longer a surprise and some, I'm sure, of the people who are watching us tonight, will come to wonder if they did get married at a younger age. Will come to wonder, have they made a mistake in marrying early? What's the solution? Don't worry. The only solution to this problem is that deal with it. Respected viewers, brothers and sisters in Islam, as-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Welcome once again to our show. Deal with it with me or host Ahmed Ali. Now this show is dedicated towards discussing and analyzing some of the most controversial topics out there that affect our lives, whether negative or positive. Now throughout the show, you will be given the chance to call, comment and ask your questions for Sayyid Hussain Qazmini is joining us tonight to talk about the pros and cons of early marriage and to answer whatever question you have. Sayyidina, as-salamu alaikum. How are you? Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Before we get into the discussion, let's kick it off. Give our salams to the Imam. As-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Alhamdulillah. Respected viewers, one second. Alhamdulillah. As-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. I do welcome you once again to our show, deal with it with me or host Ahmed Ali. Now tonight it's a very controversial topic. Some are against it and some are with it. It's early marriage. Now do comment below. We are live on Facebook. Do comment below which are the pros and which are the cons according to what you think about early marriage. InshaAllah we'll get to mention them throughout the episodes and do not forget to comment and question as well. Sayyidina, once again. As-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. You know, I congratulate you once again on this very auspicious occasion. We celebrated the birth of Mohsen yesterday by talking about the pros and cons of social media. It was a fun topic. You guys can go check it out on our YouTube channel and also on our Facebook. And today we chose to talk about early marriage. Now to everything, to every controversial topic, there are pros and there are cons. Some people are for it, some people are against it. Now before we get into personal, what are the pros of early marriage? As-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Anyone familiar with Islamic teachings, Islamic akhlaq would know that Islam encourages a young age and not delaying marriage. There's lots of traditions, lots of hadith, that let your daughters marry early. Let your young sons marry early. Wa-ankuhu al-ayama minkum. Wa-s-salahina min ibadikum wa-ima'ikum. Ayama means youth. Youth. They're still young. Wa-ankuhu al-ayama minkum. This is an order. Wa-ankuhu al-ayama minkum. It's an order but it's a recommended deed. Not logic. So there's a lot of emphasis in Islam on marrying early. When we study the lives of the Prophet, the Imams, Ahlul Bayt in general, we see that many of them married at a young age. Al-Tazara was very young when she got married. Mama Ali was young when he got married. Rasulullah was an exception of course. He got married at the age of 25. His first wife, Khadija, there's a difference in opinion of what her age was. A lot of people would say we can't compare ourselves to the infallibles. That's what I wanted to say. These narrations that emphasize on marrying young, are they general for all times? Or do they apply to certain times and places while they're not applicable at other times and places? Are they contextualized? Do we have to contextualize them? Meaning that when the Prophet says let your daughters marry at a very young age, that this have a specific context, does it only apply to the Arabian Peninsula, in Arabia, in a tribal system where there were no schools, daughters remained at home, they were basically enslaved, they were forced to do house chores, or was it better for them to get married and become mothers and have a family? Perhaps we might be able to contextualize some of these narrations that say that Rasulullah and the Ahlul Bayt when they encouraged getting married at a young age, they were looking at those specific times because at those times that worked the best. This is one opinion and another opinion says now that getting married at a young age is a good thing at all times and all places, not just during the time of the Prophet. During our times it's also a good thing. This is a difference of opinion, it's a difference of reading, how you interpret these narrations and how you see them. According to the first opinion you mentioned, basically it's safe to say that if times are good, simple, then okay, if times are hard then of course a person can't marry and the times we live in today, it's extremely difficult. It's not easy. We'll get to that. When we talk about the cons of marrying early, we can discuss that. But let's see what are the pros. Let's say a young man, mid-20s, early-20s, a young girl, early-20s, they want to get married. Is this a good idea or is it a bad idea? Number one, it could be a good idea. Why? Because marriage requires sacrifice and it compromises. It can't be your way or the highway. You can't always have it your way. There's some things that you have to give up. For example, young men and women that sleep very late at night. They sleep maybe four in the morning, five in the morning. You don't have any responsibilities. You wake up noon, 11, 12. It's amazing. You're free. It's amazing because you're free. There's no responsibilities. You have nothing to worry about. But when you get married, obviously that's going to change. You have to go to work. 7 am, you have to be up if not 6. If not 6. Which means you have to sleep by 10 or 11. There's things that you have to change. You become a parent. You have to sleep early to wake up early to get your kids ready to go to school. Now who is most likely to be able to adjust? Who is most likely able to adjust better to a married life? Someone who's in his early 20s, mid 20s, who hasn't picked up too many habits and can change his habits. Or someone in his 40s who's lived a lifetime of spending the night out, staying up, sleeping in, having, let's take smoking for example. You get married to someone who doesn't want you to smoke. Who is more able to quit smoking? Someone who's 24 or someone who's 44 or 34. Obviously the younger you are, the quicker you are to be able to put off a bad habit, to stop a bad habit. Because if you're 24, you might be smoking for the past 3-4 years. But if you're 44, that means you've been smoking for 20 years, 24 years. That's a lot to leave a habit. You know what I mean? So marrying young, you'll be able to adjust and conform to your spouse's needs better than someone who's older, someone who can't change habits. I see couples that they decide to divorce. Why? Because they just can't stop a habit. They can't stop a habit. They've been doing it for so long that they can't stop. I know a lot of young guys nowadays, whether it's in the east or the west, they have a tendency to go to a shisha shop at night and hang out with friends. That's fine if you're a bachelor. But once you're married and you have duties and responsibilities, that's not practical to do it every day. But if you're used to doing it every day for the past decade or two decades and now your wife tells you, you know what? Put your friends aside for the weekend. Put the hookah aside? Put the hookah aside and your friends aside. And I want your time for me and your family and children who's more able to adjust and compromise. Obviously when you're younger. I don't think anyone will disagree with this. It doesn't mean that if you're in your 40s you can't adjust. It all goes back to will I think. It goes back to will. It goes back to will. But who has it easier? Of course. The individual who's younger? The younger one. The one who hasn't picked up too many bad habits. Let me give another example. You marry someone. There are some people that are used to cursing. They use profanity. And it's an addiction. It becomes a bad habit. You marry someone and says, No, no. Not in my house. Not in my house. Who's able to adjust better? Someone who's 25 or someone who's 45. Obviously the younger one. Because he still hasn't been molded. You could mold them easily. Right? But the one who's old, he'll be very to put a bad habit aside. Definitely. As the saying goes, right? Whatever is nurtured at a younger age. With a certain habit, he'll stick to it. And there's another saying in Arabic that says, The habit in the body doesn't change it but the habit. A habit that sticks is a habit that won't change until death. Until the habit changes. It'll stick to death. And marriage is all about compromise. It's all about leaving the things that you want for the people that you want. Leaving the things that you love for the people that you love. Things that aren't so important that you could do without. The younger you are, the easier it would be. This is one. This is one of the pros of marrying young. Another pro or another advantage is self-protection. Protection against shaitan. Protection against the nefs and nefs al-ammar al-massoob. That is why nourish and say. Things we talked about yesterday. Shaitan is always there. Al-nafs al-ammar our self that tells us to commit sin. Temptation. We're tempted to commit a sin. But with marriage marriage provides protection. That is why nourish and say. Man tazawwaja faqad ahraza nasfadeena. Or in another narration faqad ahraza thuluthaydeena. He who marries has protected half of his faith. Has ensured half of his faith. Fa liattakallaha finnusfal akhar. Let him be pious regarding the other half of religion. Half of his religion has been protected. Half of his faith has been protected. In another narration two-thirds of his faith has been protected. Let him be pious with the other third. You're not more you're not seduced easily when you're married. Allah has provided you an outlet for sexual gratification. When you're not married you could easily fall you could easily fall into the trap of shaitan. Some people would disagree to a certain extent yes when you get married you tend to settle down you don't have that extra energy that I used to have before getting married but men still that level changes between men or varies between men. Some men they can't settle down for one woman. Right. Well first of all we're talking about men and women. Yes. This is one. Two you're talking about a minority of men but a great majority of men when they have a wife that they've chosen they're attracted to there's no issues there wasn't an arranged marriage they weren't forced to marry that person they're attracted to that person usually they shouldn't be wandering elsewhere looking at you know looking for other opportunities what they have at home should be satisfying enough now if there's a person that has greed that can't get enough then you know that's another story that's their problem but marriage is supposed to solve a great deal of that problem it's like you know I don't want to oversimplify but I want to give an example of food at home most likely you're not going to go look for food anywhere else you're not going to go steal food you have food at home who's going to go steal food the person who doesn't have food at home the one who's starving at home will go and steal but if you have all kinds of food at home there's no need for you to go what an example I don't mean to you know obviously there's a difference obviously there's a difference I think it's pretty close it's almost close I don't mean to oversimplify but once you're married there's you know you've secured yourself now if you're wandering somewhere else then there's a problem there's some sort of problem in the marriage or inside in attraction there's some sort of problem otherwise you should be you should be secure both the man and the woman this is big when you're a teen when you're young when I say teenager in 1920 early 20s you know the sexual desires that you have are not like a person who's in his 40s and 50s these desires need to be met they're either going to be met in a halal way or a haram way yes it's a need Allah SWT has put this need in human beings and he's provided the the halal awat he's provided marriage in a halal way so this is a major advantage to marriage that it protects you it doesn't let shaitan trick you any longer you know in Arabic in alaqa they say that marriage is a form of sitr it covers it protects it protects you you don't need to wander anywhere else right so this is a big advantage is a major advantage to marrying early did you want to I think one of the pros if you're done that point one of the pros within getting married at a very young age is the active role you have within the life of your children at a young age it's different when you're 20 and you have a child early 20s and you have a child when you're 30 they're going to start playing sports so on and so forth so you're still young you're still active but when you have a kid later on in stages for the people that do get married in 30, 35 years old when they're 45 they can barely their back hurts their neck hurts they can barely play sports then they will see what the pros and cons of marrying early is playing sports is one aspect one aspect there's so much to it but I mean the active role within the life of the child I totally agree one of the points that I have right here in front of me first of all when you marry at an older age the amount of children it immediately reduces if you marry at the age of 35 and your spouse is also at the age of 35 females at the age of 35 how many children can she have after getting married at the age of 35 5 up till 40 is it? 40, 45 it's actually 53 53 scientifically but who's having children at the age of 50? I don't know usually after 42, 43 they stop right? so from 35 to 42 how many children do they want to have? two maximum two I think it's enough though I mean two if that's what you want if two children is what you want that's fine so this is one it depends on what you want if you want four five children maybe more I don't know seven depends on the family their energy their financial capabilities it all depends I'm not calling for quality quantity I have plenty of children no I firmly believe that it's about quality if you have two good children it's better than having seven children that you can't raise but my point is if you want more children you have to start young this is one two it's not just about playing sports it's about connection as well when there's a big age gap between you and your children for example you're 35 or 40 if you're a 40 year old man and you have a child there's a 40 year gap between you and your child this will reduce the amount of what you can talk about with your children when your child is 10 you're 50 when your child is 20 you're 60 there's a big difference between a 60 and a 20 year old 20 years old he's he's becoming an adult he's becoming a man he wants to enter the world he's graduating from college he wants to start working you're 60 there's not a lot that you could relate to a 60 year old with a 20 year old but if the age difference is 25 there's a lot you can speak to when you're 20 or when he's 20 you're what? 45 45 that's not a big difference that's like an older brother there's a lot that you could relate to at 45 you're still young and your child is your son is 20 there's a lot that you could talk to there's a lot that you could relate to it's about connection it looks good when you have young parents instead of old parents that it's not just about looking good it's about having that connection connecting with your children knowing how to speak to them relating to them you tell them listen I've been what you've been through and you could overcome this problem you could overcome this obstacle you could find a job but when you're 60 and he's 20 there's not so much in common between you you see and that's gonna create a gap between you and your children the older you are the bigger the age difference the bigger the gap the younger you are the smaller the gap the more you could relate to your children this is something that we need to pay attention to plus the older you are you have to teach your children when you're old you can't teach them you don't have the energy you don't have the strength you're not in the mood to come and teach them and explain everything to them this is halad this is haram why is this halad why is that haram having them stand next to you pray you're not gonna have that energy you're not gonna be in the mood that's why they shift somewhere else absolutely insha'Allah we'll get to touch upon this more after the break if you will insha'Allah so respected viewers do stay tuned for we'll continue the discussion around marrying early early marriage but after this short break so do stay tuned salamu alaikum peace and blessings of Allah upon you all welcome to the Holy Land of Karbala respected viewers welcome to the area between the Holy Shrine between the Holy Shrine or as it locally known bain al haramain this area witnessed recently the opening of Karbala International Book Fair that is a part of of the of rabi'ah shahada festival the thirteenth edition of of rabi'ah shahada festival that is held under the under the sponsorship of Imam al-Hussain and Abu al-Fadl al-Abbas peace be upon them Holy Shrines respected viewers stay tuned for further details and further details and information about the Book Fair and about the activities of this Book Fair stay tuned dear brothers back to you from the area between the Holy Shrine of Imam al-Hussain and his brother Abu al-Fadl al-Abbas peace be upon them respected viewers this Book Fair is held on the area of three hundred three thousand sorry three thousand square meters in the participation of one hundred sixty five international publishing houses that are you know displaying numerous topics and subjects merely law, literature, philosophy sciences in addition to of course religion respected viewers in the same context Imam al-Hussain TV group announced the participation of announced the participation in this Book Fair with a special poof that identifies the objectives of of the of the group channels respected viewers stay tuned we will go to that poof and we will get to know more details about what they do what the brothers are doing there in that poof they come respected viewers back to you from Karbala International Book Fair where we are now at Imam al-Hussain TV group poof that displays the channels to the you know to the visitors of this poof right now I have here my brother he is the director of IH TV group poof who is going to tell me about the activities of this poof and about the visitors of this poof peace be upon you my dear brother can you tell me about the activities of this poof added to the visitors of this poof in the name of Allah we are now here with Imam al-Hussain TV group with the activities of cultural and social in Karbala and religion and also the participation in the special poof of the book in the area between Haram and as a means of communication and media the group in this poof displays a group of screens that displays the special channels in Arabic, French and English in addition to Turkey the visitors of the poof by now between intellectual, cultural, social and political in addition to different cultures of the Iraqi society and the visitors of the Iraqi coast my brother here just said that IHTV has taken a poof inside Karbala International Book Fair in order to display the activities of the channel merely through the screens appearing right behind me displaying the different programs of the channels in addition to that IHTV is always concentrating on communicating with the visitors on communicating with the audience in order to get to know their opinions and their advices and if they have any ideas or plan in order to add it in addition to that a number of public, cultural and social figures in addition to masses of the lovers and sheers of the IHB have visited this booth and prepared and gave their opinions and their advices and plans for the channel respective viewers stay tuned we will go around the book fair in order to get to know to the different activities and different publishing houses and their topics and subjects the topics and subjects that are not displaying the international book fair where more than 165 publishing houses are taking part in order to display numerous and different subjects about cultural subjects theological subjects philosophical subjects and what so ever respective viewers we are at the booth of Ibn Fahd Al-Halli where Ibn Fahd Al-Halli publishing house are displaying the books that are published and that are written by the Shirazi family we have here different books written by different members of the Shirazi family and also the representatives of the Shirazi religious authorities we have here Sheikh Abdul Radha Ma'ash publications in addition to a number of publications by the late Grand Ayatollah Sayyed Muhammad Al-Shirazi in addition to the Grand Jurist Sayyed Sadiq Al-Hussaini Al-Shirazi respective viewers we will go now to another media group affiliated to the Grand Ayatollah Shirazi office this channel and that booth particularly are displaying a number of the Shirazi family publications in addition to the different activities of Al-Marjaia Channel stay tuned welcome back respective viewers we do thank brother Muhammad Ali for going around and reporting what is going on in these days with the book exhibition the book fair here we do advise if you are in Karbala go check that out because it's pretty nice now I want to kick off the second part of tonight's episode with questions we received on Facebook we do advise if you want to send any question or any comment you want or if you want to just comment according to you what is the proper pro or you think is a good pro for getting married early or the con for that as well now one of the questions Sayyed is he says it's a pretty nice name how about financial side the older you are the more money you make I don't know what he is trying to get out but I think he means the older you are you can support your family more sure from what I see with a lot of youth when I travel to the US, Europe UK France, Netherlands a lot of the places that I go and I talk about marriage with a lot of youth and I see that there is a trend of delaying marriage to the 30s why with the excuse that if I am young that means I don't have money I barely work I am barely making enough money so let me graduate and maybe go for a masters maybe go for a PhD find a job I'll get to that hop from one job to another make enough money buy a house and then I'll get married by that time you are in your 30s you are in your mid 30s by the time that you are financially stable and you own a house and you have a steady job you are in your mid 30s how many people have a steady job how many people own a house nowadays 30s and they are still renting especially in Europe Europe is extremely expensive to own a house even in the US even in Canada to own is almost impossible in your 30s or 40s late 30s to own so how long is it that you want to wait how long is it that you want to wait I am not saying go out and get married and you only have $5 in your pocket that's not fair either that's not being realistic but if you have a job you have income money is coming it might not be a lot but you get married and you marry someone who is you know someone who is not too needy and that's another problem unfortunately nowadays if not the girl or her parents we want our daughter it can't be an apartment she has to have her own car come on you are reducing the chances of your daughter getting married let's make it easier on the youth you don't have to be rich in order to get married plus the Quran says if they are poor Allah will assist them Allah will help them whatever happened to depending on Allah why is it that we are always depending on worldly reasons I have to have a job as if it's my boss that is giving me providing me it's not my boss Allah is providing me through my boss Allah is providing me through my job it's not my job it's not even my potential it's all on Allah we don't realize this I can agree with you 100% but the thing is if you don't have a stable job for example a person working at McDonald's cannot raise a family and this is reality a person making $9 $8.50 $11 an hour won't be able to raise a family what is this person waiting he's waiting to be the CEO of Microsoft or Apple that's not going to happen overnight a person has to get married to feel responsible to feel responsible that sense of responsibility will push him to go out and find a better job to go out and get an education what if he ruins his life with that decision which decision? of getting married when he's not able to no I don't think that will happen because Allah is all merciful and plus we're speaking to whom youth in the west America is the land of opportunity Canada is the land of opportunity the west is the land of opportunity anyone can achieve as long as you're determined you have a strong will you go out and get an education you could study in the morning work in the evening study in the evening go get an education, go get a job you'll get a promotion anyone can achieve being lazy is not an excuse in the west oh well I haven't finished my degree you're not finding the right job because you're not looking in the right place you don't have the right credentials go get the right credentials go get the right degree you'll get the right job you'll make enough money, you'll get married we need to stop making excuses to be honest I hear a lot of youth they say well it's too soon for me to get married let me get settled, let me find a steady job let me hone a house well by that time you're in your 40s you've missed a train and let's be realistic when you're 40 who's going to marry you all the young ladies the attractive ones they're taking if you're in your 40s a girl that's in her 20s, 22, 23 she's not going to want you someone who's 20 years older the longer you wait the less options you have and the same thing goes for young women I see a lot of young women they put off marriage they say no let me get my education let me get my PhD let me work when I'm in my 30s I'll get married let's be realistic when you're in your 30s men your age are not going to be looking for someone your age they're going to be looking for someone 10 years younger than you that's the reality a man in his 30s wants a woman in her 20s not someone his age it's going to be harsh in saying this but someone has to say this is the harsh reality don't put off marriage go get an education get your education no one will stop you you want a PhD, get your PhD you want to work, go work but that doesn't mean you have to put off marriage doesn't mean that you have to delay marriage you could do both what goes to that Jasmine from the US we can't really comment on your ladies should not put off marriage she says the majority of the men will try to quit the ladies or their wives from their jobs or their studies to focus on house chores and this is evident we see that this is some men not all men are like this not all but the majority say it no I disagree, not the majority for me I see the majority I see a lot of men nowadays they want their wife to study they want her to work why? because nowadays life is expensive in Europe, in America life is expensive you need double incomes one that comes from the husband one that comes from the wife if you want to live a good life in the west own a house have two cars pay the bills have a vacation once in a while once a year at least once a year on the weekend go see a movie go have a dinner once a week or maybe once every two weeks you need a good paying job and you can't do that by yourself there are a lot of young men nowadays that prefer to have their wife work so there might be some men that refuse their wife their woman from working but now there's a great deal of men that do want their wives to work not just in the west even here when they go and propose they ask did you finish college is she applying on working because we want her to work plus you set conditions when you marry someone you set a condition that I'd like to continue my education I'd like to pursue my education I'd like to work and a husband cannot stop his wife from working even if she doesn't put that condition a husband cannot stop his wife from working or from seeking an education he has no right to stop her from that of course so where were we in fact this is one of the pros that I forgot to mention one of the pros of marrying young is moral support is moral support as a young man you want to become a doctor you got your bachelors now you want to go on to medical school you might do it you might not do it there's so many obstacles you have to get a loan there's so much competition out there you might have to apply out of state out of country but if you have a wife who's patient who's supportive we'll tell you you know what you could do it apply here apply there I'll come with you wherever you that's moral support you know how big that is for a husband and same goes for the wife which has a strong husband a supportive husband that will support her no matter what in whatever she does in her career they're there to support one another that wife can help you get a better job and get that promotion that you've always wanted and get that PhD that you've always wanted but you've been putting it off if you have a good supporting wife she can help you do it but without that supporting wife you might do it you might not do it you might be discouraged just like that the smallest thing could put you off definitely especially a woman with moral support with all due respect with a big mouth sometimes they can discourage the man another question that we have is she says why marry early and occupy your life with responsibilities when you can build a good when you can build a good future and raise a proper family I don't see where the contradiction is you could raise a proper family add you know when you're young when you're in your early twenties now let me define what I mean by young I don't want people to think that I'm 17 16 17 16 no that's young this goes on to the second question what what age do you think is a good age for marriage and why so this these two are some I say early 20s mid 20s early 20s mid 20s however max mid 20s max no no let me say this yeah it all depends on that person it varies from person to person a person could be 25 but he has a brain of a 15 year old let's face it there's some people that are immature they're 25 yet they're still playing xbox come on say it now five hours a day okay five hours a day good good not 30 minutes okay good I'm not saying playing xbox is haram but if you spend several hours of your day playing xbox you play xbox I know ps3 I know we decided not to ask personal questions but no no no it's okay I play a ps4 so but I'm sure you don't play it four hours a day we're getting personal I'm not saying that yeah yeah well let's draw lines but I'm sure you don't play xbox five hours a day but there are some youth they're 25 they're 29 they're 30 but they're still playing xbox every day yeah they have to have their soccer match every two days you know every other day they have to go smoke hookup every night come on grow up you're reaching your 30s you know there's a there's a time when you have to say enough is enough I have to grow up I have to become responsible mm-hmm so if you're that type of person age is nothing about a number you could be 35 and you're still immature so I would have to really say it's about maturity mm-hmm it's about a sense of responsibility if you're 25 and you're still not responsible and that's a problem do not get yourself into a marriage where you can't even if you can't even take care of yourself there's no way you can take care of a family there's people in their late 20s and these you know their mom still washes their laundry they have to cook for them I know something they have to fix their bed for them their sheets they're come on if you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of a family it all comes back to responsibility and 19 year old believe me like so funny yeah he's not like you but but yeah sorry good anyway anyway you could be 19 you know I hope something is not listening to this you don't get bad bro you know at 19 someone at 19 could be more mature than someone at 29 wouldn't you agree so it's all about maturity I say I cannot tell you to get married I can't you know if you're mature if you feel responsible if you are willing to compromise and sacrifice and go into a family and build a family go and get married even if you're 20 I wouldn't encourage below 20 I wouldn't encourage below 20 because you know below 20 you're still not responsible enough you're not responsible enough but if you feel responsible and mature go ahead and if you're 30 and you're still immature and you're still thinking about yourself don't get married so it all goes back to maturity and how responsible you are and how willing you are to raise a family and build a family Jasmine can we go back to Jasmine's question Jasmine's question the question before age or Shafiqa I'm sorry I think all of them and somehow this is it but somehow they're all linked to financial support and later we have only like 2 or 3 minutes but Shafiqa's question says why marry early and occupy your life with responsibilities when you can build a good future and raise a proper family I want her to understand that my point is don't get married early for the sake of getting married early no you have to feel mature and responsible these are two main conditions absolutely two main conditions if these two conditions are not met at an early age be mature and feel responsible go ahead and do it if you can get married at 22, 23 don't delay marriage until you're 30 you'll regret it later on start a family have children having children is beautiful protect yourself protect yourself against temptation plus the older you get the lower chances you have the less choices you'll have when you're 25 for example you'll have 15 choices but when you're 30 the 15 choices become 10 when you're 35 the 10 choices become 5 when you're 40 you're left with one choice or two choices, maximum maybe I'm over exaggerating but that's how it is so maturity, responsibility if you feel responsible enough to get married depend on Allah you don't have enough money if you're broke, that's another story but if you're working hard, you're responsible you could make rent, go ahead depend on Allah and Allah will be there for you to support you in raising that family now the last question for tonight I know we talked about a lot did you face any obstacles when you first got married everyone faces obstacles there's no one that has it perfect there's always obstacles in getting married the first obstacle is maybe the financial question what am I going to do it's always financial sadness when you're by yourself you could you could eat fast food you could eat one meal a day you won't die but once you're in a marriage and you have two people that's going to be more so obviously there are obstacles but there's no obstacles that you can't overcome especially when you ask Allah for support and you ask Allah for help because who taught us to get married who's encouraging us to get married Allah so definitely Allah will not leave us hanging when Allah says get married early don't delay marriage he's going to be there so obviously there's going to be obstacles but if you're determined again let me emphasize you're not getting married just for the sake of getting married early no you want to get married you found the right person you're not rushing I don't want anyone to rush and say well I'm 22 now so I have to get married no you find the right person the person that you're comfortable with that will make a good spouse that will make a good mother you get married and you rely on Allah and Allah will be there to help you and support you this is a very nice question Salam al-Hussain who also is commenting he was from yesterday as well he says if in young age we marry and get children who is responsible for raising those children how can a young boy or girl be able to cultivate the new generation Osama I think might be thinking of a 15 year old boy who is having children or a 17 year old boy who is having a child obviously at that age you're still young no we're speaking about someone who is in his 20s who is in his early 20s mid 20s why can't you have children why can't you raise children in your mid 20s you're already responsible you've been through college you've found a job maybe you've even went through several jobs you're responsible enough you've had your own experience of growing up, of teaching yourself now you're going to pass on this experience to your own children so I don't see where the obstacle is I don't see what the problem is unless Salam al-Hussain is thinking of a 15 or 16 year old guy or girl that's a problem but we're speaking about someone who is in his early 20s mid 20s the last question it's always asked and many people do message and ask this question on a daily basis he says can a Sayyid girl marry a non Sayyid boy if she can marry is there any example from Ahl al-Bait family married from a non Sayyid boy I mean although it's not relevant to wanted to ask you don't need examples from Ahl al-Bait a Sayyid female can absolutely marry a non Sayyid man I don't know where this phenomena came from it's in some cultures it exists in the Indo-Pakistani culture where a female Sayyid has to marry a male Sayyid and she has no other option 30s, mid 30s and they don't allow their daughters the daughter remains unmarried for several years waiting for a Sayyid to come and propose to her this is a mistake this is wrong, this is oppressive to that female this does not exist in religion in Islam a female Sayyid can marry a non Sayyid male and all Marajah have agreed there's not a single Marjah today that says the daughter of a Sayyid has to marry the son of a Sayyid this thing doesn't exist from history I would have to think there are some narrations that say that Imam Ali's daughter was married to Umar al-Khattab there are some narrations that say this others say that these narrations are not accurate we have modern examples there are some Marajah today who get Sayyid Marajah who have given their daughters to non Sayyids yeah this is clear, we see that it doesn't get bigger than that so this is a myth my advice is to those listening to me they have a Sayyid daughter who is not getting married this is a major problem whoever is a believer he doesn't have to be a Sayyid as long as he is a believer let her get married inshallah all the ladies out there find the proper spouse for them thank you very much Sayyidna for joining us tonight inshallah we can continue the discussion tomorrow but in a different topic thank you very much once again as a conclusion Marajah has become a huge necessity within our lives a person who does get married at an early stage finds himself more stable than the person who gets married at a later stage this is to sum up what we talked about today thank you very much no selfies today Sayyidna