 5 reasons why the narcissist returns. When the narcissist returns to you, it can be quite confusing. Maybe they discarded you. Maybe they told you all of these reasons why you're not good. And then they left. So it would seem like there's no reason for them to return. Which is why it can be so confusing. But there are reasons why the narcissist returns to you. 1. Re-idealization. When the narcissist first met you, they idealized you. They saw you as perfect. You were everything they wanted you to be. They have to see people in this way to secure them as their sources of supply. They have black and white thinking. So they will either see you as all good or as all bad. And when they first met you, you were all good. Which is why they wanted to be with you. But it was only a matter of time until they began to devalue you and then discard you. But once they have spent some time away from you, they begin to forget everything bad that happened. They begin to forget all those times that you stood up to them or refused to comply. They idealize you again. They see you as perfect. And that is when they're likely to return. You're like a drug to the narcissist. And once they've abused the drug, it no longer has the same effect. So they need to spend some time away from it to get that same feeling again. Two, validation. One of the main things a narcissist wants is validation. If you discarded the narcissist, this is one thing they will be seeking when they return to you. Because when you discard a narcissist, it bruises their ego. It makes them feel unimportant. But they cannot regulate their emotions from within. Their sense of importance comes from other people. So when you invalidate a narcissist, this will cause them to chase your validation because they need to feel wanted. But even if they do contact you and you ask them if they want to meet somewhere, they're just going to use that opportunity to reject you because then they can feel like they're better than you. They can feel like they got the last laugh. Three, loneliness. Narcissists suffer from pathological loneliness. They cannot be alone for long periods of time. They also get bored very easily. So if there's no one else to entertain them, they are likely to return to you. They need attention. They need constant entertainment. But they cannot provide that for themselves. They are empty vessels. So they need someone to distract them from the void within. Four, failed supply. The narcissist may have discarded you and tried to move on with their new source of supply. But maybe things didn't turn out as they expected. They thought the grass was greener on the other side. But it wasn't. So now they're coming back to you again. And you may think that they're sorry or that they've realized what they did wrong. But they're just coming back because it didn't work out with someone else. Five, money. The narcissist will return to you for money or other conveniences. Because while they were with you, you were providing this to them. You were supporting them. And even though they may have abused that privilege, they still feel entitled to it. Narcissists don't think that they can do anything wrong. They think everything they do is right. They rationalize it. So in their minds, even if you're not together, you're still responsible. You still owe them. They live in a delusional world where they think that everything should revolve around them. So they will often return to you and make demands for money because narcissists are lazy. They don't want to go out and work for it. They want everything to come easy and they see you as their parent. When a narcissist makes you their primary source of supply, they're putting you in the parental role. So they expect you to take responsibility for them regardless of what they do wrong. In their minds, you're their caretaker. So you should just do what they want. There are many reasons why a narcissist will return to you. But it always comes down to one thing. They want something from you. If a narcissist doesn't want anything from you, you will probably never hear from them again. They will only contact you if they want something. But once they've been involved with you and their ego has been bruised, they won't want to talk to you again. They'd rather stay hidden and lick their wounds. They'd rather get supply somewhere else. But it's not so easy for them to find a source that's as good as you were to them. They know that most people wouldn't deal with them, which is why they're often forced to return to you. They don't want to return to you if you bruised their ego or rejected them. But if they can't find anything better, they're left with no option. It's either that or they downgrade. But no narcissist is going to willingly downgrade themselves. They will only do that if they have no other choice. If they know that you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation, that's when they know that they can't return. But as long as they think you still believe in them, they will keep trying. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonate with you. Please like, comment, share, and subscribe. If you'd like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries, you can email me at coaching.narcsurvivor.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.