 Gwadolch, wrth gwrs, wrth gwrs yn gweithio gynnig 31 ym Mlynedd yn Ysgrifennu'r Chalunge. Rhywb i'n defnyddio'r mynd yn fawr ac yn dweud o ddigonol i chi. Rhywb i chi'n gweithio'r gwybod yn gweithio'r gweithi'n gweithio ar hyn o'r fawr i chi'n gweithio'r gwybod. A'n gweithio i chi'n hwyl i chi i gael i chi i gael i chi'n gweithio i chi. Rhywb i chi'n gweithio i chi'n gweithio i chi. I really look forward to spending a few moments just talking to you, just trying to help you get your thoughts today where you are and what you're looking to do and how we can build this and we can cultivate this habit, the change in neuroplasticity for us to be able to have this self-compassion or way of excuse me dealing with issues based on emotions or situations or anxiety and fear and all of these things and and what it boils down to for me a lot of this is self-compassion the ability to treat yourself in a way with loving kindness and not to continually beat yourself up in a way that is not conducive to your your your development your growth your transformation your learning your love we talked before about it's you know self-pity and fear and self-doubt and all of these things conjure up so many negative connotations from within and we do it to ourselves excuse me we create this mental narrative of ourselves that you know we're really tough on ourselves and we keep putting ourselves down and and and you know for me self-kindness or common um uh humanity are some ways where we can really recognise that we've made mistakes we've we've we feel pain that we yes we have fear we're in difficult situations but to sort of say to yourself but that's okay because so is everybody else so is lots of other people you know somebody always says there's always somebody worse off than yourself but you know in times when everything's on top and you can't think straight you know you start beating yourself up oh i'm not going to be able to do this or i can't do that or you know or or whatever the scenario is and you know i want for me self-compassion is treating yourself the same way you would do as a friend who needed your help treating yourself as a friend who a real close friend who needed your help and you know i suppose the best analogy to use here would be can you imagine your friend phoning you up and saying um you know my husband my boyfriend's just walked up me husband's just left me and you know it's i found out that he's been seeing somebody else and you know it's it's been a tired time for me would you turn around and say well to be perfectly honest it's probably because you're getting on a bit now you put a bit of weight on you know you're not as pretty as when you first met you you're a bit boring to be honest um you know the girl he's going out with now is you know 20 years younger than you and you know your hair is turning gray and you know you don't look well and and to be honest you know over the last couple of weeks you've been pretty shitty i wouldn't do it but that's what we do to ourselves that's what we do to ourselves every time we get into a situation a problem or the mental narrative the chatter um you know you wouldn't do it you turn on say oh you know i'm sorry to hear that are you okay is there anything i can do for you what can i do to help why don't you come over and have a cup of coffee or let's get together and have a glass of wine and chew over everything everything will be fine because you know you've got your family and i'm around and you know we can all pull together you know he doesn't deserve you that's what we would do we wouldn't go the other way around so why do we do it to ourselves why do we why do we beat ourselves up in all of these ways you know self-criticism and self-compassion are a north and south really they they are you know two very different things and what i want us to do really is think about you know fear versus truth you know self-compassion ah that's just being selfish that's going to make me vulnerable in fact self-compassion is a a very reliable source of inner strength that allows us to to grow and to come over some of these you know long-term issues and situations and shadow moments that we talk about you know another fear sort of self-compassion um is really being self-indulgent really isn't it you know it's it's all of these things actually it's the opposite compassion is about this sort of long-term well-being not short-term pleasure you know we really want to try over a period of time to help cultivate our inner selves to get healthy and happy and and and have eat well drink less exercise more you know um i need to practice what i preach a bit there but you know self and you know another fear you think about oh yeah but self-compassion is is is making excuses for my bad behaviour no it's not it talks about the mistakes and how we can learn from them how we can move forward how self-compassion you know has the ability to you know build greater responsibility for our actions and and yeah we can apologise if we do things wrong we all do it but you know it is about that and you know another fear is self-criticism is is is an effective motivator if i criticise myself i can say right junior i'm going to get up today and i'm going to go for a five mile run can't because i've got a dodgy need but it's not self-criticism tends to undermine our self-confidence and that leads to fear of failure you know so you know if you're if we're self-compassionate we can motivate ourselves to reach our goals not because we're inadequate but actually because we're the opposite we are adequate we do love ourselves we can reach our full potential um self-compassion you know we can set high standards but don't beat yourself up when you don't reach them just think about how you're going to gradually get there day after day and you know self-compassion if you like is like it's like a good coach with kindness support understanding and not harsh criticism of yourself you know if things don't go right or things are not working out for you you know we know life can be hard but be kind to yourself if you have pain in your life you know just sit breathe and put it hold it with loving kindness you know fully accept um the reality that we're imperfect we're human beings we're prone to making mistakes and we're prone to getting things wrong and having struggles and our hearts will be broken but that's okay you know we need to practice imperfection we're all right um we become a better person by understanding our limitations and how we can work with them you know imagine if you if you wrote a letter to yourself you know and as a compassionate voice you know and thinking about you know how you could help motivate yourself and and do some of the changes write a letter to you as your friend and see what see what you do think of you know start with beloved friend you know who's struggling with some of the concerns that you have write a letter from compassion and write that letter to yourself and and see what those words are and and see how they can soothe you and comfort you and help you through some you know difficult times because you know things can't be hard but self-love and we're going to do a self-love meditation now is a powerful practice that can ease this self-destructive race in mind by drawing our attention to our innermost self and we find this beautiful source of inner peace and acceptance and no stressful thoughts or those thoughts of beating ourselves up will gently diminish and we gain the peace that we require to move forward with clarity purpose and grace and that's something beautiful so what I want you to do is we're going to put something out a picture up now I want you to close your eyes and I if we don't allow natural love for ourselves to be expressed then love does not reveal its beauty it's very often you know struggling we're very often not thoughtful for ourselves each day of our lives so I want you to get into a nice relaxing position and and just take away any of the distractions for the duration of this moment um and make sure that you're not going to be disturbed and as you're closer as you're just feeling now again you're settling in and you're feeling the your breath and take the very first action in self-love right now and that is your ability to breathe at will in all kinds of situations and in all kinds of ways our breath has been with us literally our entire lives and it's changed as we as needed it in the demand of exciting circumstances or exercise or stress but it flows effortlessly when we're resting now we need to take a multiple of full and deep breaths every day and we know by doing this it's proven to change our bodies and our minds for the better now one of us is always to take five full and very deep breaths but holding it for a moment at the top of the breath and then naturally exhale it okay so number one inhale a nice big breath expand it expanding your belly and your lungs as much as you can hold it and then exhale gently with relief and compassion now I want you to again to inhaling fresh oxygen take that beautiful deep breath which has supplied you know oxygen and to your bloodstream and holding it soak it in and exhale exhale without any effort number three inhaling fully when you feel so rejuvenated and invigorated by this breath and hold it and exhale easily the fourth breath now as we inhale noticing how our breathing comes naturally for you pause into soak it all in and then exhale any tension any worry any stress any situations around you and five inhaling fully in this act of self-love pausing at that top of the breath and feel this beautiful love from within and then exhale into complete relaxation now let your breath flow at its own pace without any effort from you now and by doing this you're proving you are very capable of self-love and deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and it stimulates the parasympthetic nervous system and it's referred to as the rest and digest system by breathing deeply and often you're sort of commanding your body if you like to rest which relaxes and rejuvenates you and in many ways this is self-love in its simplest form that anybody can do anytime of the day so let's let's honour our self-love by relaxing the mind even further and notice now how your thoughts are rising in your mind one after the other see them come and see them go some thoughts linger for some time and some thoughts only come for a split second and if you can really focus you will notice even smaller thoughts such as describing the world around you or labelling the things in your surroundings you let your hearing now become super alert and try to focus on some of the sounds around you maybe you can hear the sound of your own breath can you hear any nature nearby perhaps cars passing or just the sound of sound focusing on one at a time now stop focusing on any sound in particular and just allow all the noises around you to come in equally and when you hear them they almost act as tiny waves of relaxation calming your mind beautiful well done your mind relaxes when you activate your sense of your senses and the senses around you on command and let's use the power of your amazing visualisation abilities to induce this wonderful feeling of self-love so I want you to begin now to imagine in your mind's eye you're self full of this beautiful abundance of self-love see yourself now choosing healthy foods cooking at home so you know all of the ingredients you're putting into your body vividly see yourself eating well and when you eat well you see yourself enjoying these moments and you feel the nutrition that these choices bring you imagine now you have a strong will a strong feeling to avoid any junk foods or unhealthy drinks see yourself with great confidence saying no to all of these things that don't serve you you feel very proud you feel as if you're competing something here and eating things that are healthy eating healthy is now an essential component in your self-love plan and another form of self-love is just observing your mental chatter in order to have great self-love you must expand the things you feel about yourself and challenge any negative thoughts as soon as they arrive so you can hear yourself saying when I fully love myself I'm able to fully love others deciding to love myself is a wonderful agreement each day I allow my love for myself to grow more and more and I am worthy of love and honour the joy that comes with it is special I've decided to love myself unconditionally no matter what happens it feels wonderful I deserve love and I deserve self-respect I can feel myself extreme myself esteem growing and as it does it grows along with my self-love I love and I accept everything about myself I completely and always will now love myself today I love myself even more than yesterday and truly loving myself is now going to become easy for me because I know the more I love myself the better my mind my body my soul and my entire health will be I love every moment of my existence every part of me that makes me who I am is encompassed with love I have unconditional love within me that overflows in abundance to those around me I am love I will always be love be love and then we can give love I want you to take a deep fresh breath in and I want you to do breathe out just to feel the love for yourself take another deep breath in and hold it and at that moment understand that it's important and now going forward you have this self-love and when you're ready I want you just to put your hand on your heart and say to yourself I love you Julian I love you I truly love myself so that I have the ability to love others and love everything around me from moment to moment and breath to breath self-love and self-compassion is now my foundation to move forward in my life with balance with love with clarity and with purpose I love myself in a way that's going to allow me to be my best self to allow me to achieve the things that I've wanted to achieve but if I don't achieve them I know that I've given in my best shot and I can only be as good as I can be but by cultivating and working with self-love I truly know that I'm giving myself the best life the best moment the best me which in turn allows me to help others in the best way possible but it all starts with my love for myself when you're ready with your fingers and come back into the room self-love is difficult because we just think how can I love myself I'm not perfect how can I love myself I know myself better than anybody how can I love myself you can we make mistakes we we make wrong choices we do the wrong things you know did I have to have a Chinese last night or could I have some healthy food should I've had a pizza last Thursday who knows maybe I shouldn't have had more than two bottles of beer last night self-love just have that love for yourself but don't beat yourself up when things go wrong or you fall off a bit I say that you know our spiritual path our life path has millions of steps and just because you take two steps to the left doesn't mean you're on the wrong path just means you might have taken two steps the wrong way we can come back so love yourself be love before you can give love have a lovely Sunday I hope day 31 is is good for you god bless you and and stay with me and as I said before you know let's share this let's help other people so each one reach one please if you can copy and paste this link put it on your facebook page and say try this today it'll make you better for tomorrow god bless you be love and give love take care bye bye thanks for watching