 Why is the narcissist so mean to you? There comes a point in your relationship with the narcissist Where they become very mean to you often after an argument or disagreement Or when you don't do what they want or think the way they want you to think Which can happen in a healthy relationship But it doesn't mean that you have to become enemies In a healthy relationship You can talk to the other person and you can end the relationship on good terms This doesn't happen with narcissistic relationships When you don't do what they want Or think the way they want you to think They will do everything they can to hurt you They will be mean They will become aggressive Because they're narcissists They lack empathy They cannot share your experience They're self-absorbed They're only concerned with their own feelings and needs Which is why it should be no surprise that they are mean to you A person with this type of personality Doesn't know how to be kind or considerate There's nothing motivating them to be that way towards you They can only pretend They can only imitate what they have seen from other people or movies And they will only do that when they are trying to manipulate you But if you are no longer susceptible to their manipulation They will be very mean to you There's no incentive for them to pretend anymore Because they know that you know what they're really like So that is when the mask comes off That is when they don't even try to conceal who they really are When you're still in the dark on what you're really dealing with They will pretend to be nice to make you think that they're good So that they can keep you as their source of supply But when you start to figure them out They're not even going to bother pretending anymore That is when they will start being mean to you That is when you will see how selfish they really are They will blame you for everything They will never reflect on their own fault's mistakes For anything that they might need to work on They will make you feel like everything is your fault They have to do this to protect their false self They are shame-based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame And they don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions So they have to see you as being the cause of all the problems in the relationship Which they can then use to justify them being mean to you Because when you pull away from the narcissist in their minds, it's unfair In their minds, you are just using them because everything has to be about them They always have to be the victim And when they're being mean to you To them, they're just protecting themselves against this horrible person who took advantage of them You may not have done anything wrong But once you've been around the narcissist long enough They will be looking to punish you They will do everything to hurt you Because they want to watch you going through it So that they can feel better about themselves They will do anything to make you miserable They will sabotage anything that makes you happy Anything that is good in your life Because this is also a way for them to control you Anything outside of them that has an influence over you Is a threat to their control So they have to gain authority over it They have to bring it into their realm When you disagree with them on anything And you have your own ideas or opinions about something Or you refuse to do what they want you to do They feel like they are losing control So they will find another way to gain control When they are being mean to you They feel like they have control over you They can influence your emotions They can get you to react to what they're saying or doing And it makes them feel powerful It gives them satisfaction They're sadistic They derive pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering and humiliation on you As long as they can make you feel bad They don't feel bad It makes them feel better And they don't care about how it's affecting you Because they lack empathy They have an inability to feel or understand your emotions Which is why it may seem like they have no concern for you Which is why they're so cold towards you When the narcissist is mean to you You may take responsibility for it And think that it has something to do with you But really It has everything to do with them It has everything to do with where they are in the mind They're self-absorbed They only care about themselves And they're very cruel So naturally They will be mean to you That's just who they are If you experience the same situation With someone who is healthy It wouldn't have a very different outcome or result It would not result in them being mean to you They would respond to the situation In a mature and responsible way Rather than being directed by their emotions Because that is why narcissists are so mean It all comes from their emotions And they are using you to feel better about themselves Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My Paypal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at coaching.narksurvivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon