 We're sold this idea that a spiritual awakening is blissful, it's peaceful, it's easy, it's happy. But what a lot of people don't talk about is the very real dark side of a spiritual awakening. You're not crazy, you're not doing something wrong. And it's quite common to go through a lot of these different, what we perceive to be dark negative sides of going through a spiritual awakening. If you're new here, I'm Sarah and I created this channel to help you build a more happier and fulfilling and loving life through self mastery and spirituality. And today I speak love and compassion and kindness and acceptance over you. So when we begin to go through a spiritual awakening, we wake up. And what does that mean? It means you're tapped into this consciousness that you weren't tapped into before. And there's a lot of things that are very difficult to go through when that happens. A common one that I myself have experienced a lot since going through my spiritual awakening a few years ago, and so many others go through as well, is this feeling of isolation, of loneliness, of separation, which is quite the opposite of what they feed us as far as a spiritual awakening is connecting you with others, it's connecting you with life, it's connecting you with all beings. But what happens is, is once we start to wake up and realize on a deeper, more conscious level of the despair and the hardships of the world, it can be very shocking. And what happens is, is because the majority of people at this time and for so long have been under this veil, have been kept in the dark. People that haven't gone through a spiritual awakening is the norm. And so what happens is, is we start to think that we're crazy or people think that we're crazy or out of touch with reality, when in fact it's quite the opposite. Just because you're going through a spiritual awakening doesn't make you any better than anyone who's not. But it's just something that a very small percentage of people go through in this particular lifetime and so it makes it much harder to connect with others and be able to talk about all of these things because most people aren't going through it. And so what happens is, you begin to break down these ego barriers that have been the way that you live throughout your entire life. It shatters everything because the majority of people aren't going through this on top of just feeling like no one understands you and I know that's something that I personally go through a lot. Even people that I love so dearly and I've been close with for 10, 15, 20 years, I feel like all of a sudden, don't get me anymore and don't know me, like don't know me anymore. And that can be isolating and very depressing in itself. Like when you're closest people, your closest loved ones, and you feel this disconnect with them, it can be very hard and it can be very depressing. On top of that, because you're breaking down and realizing all of these autopilot things and thoughts and ways of doing life prior to the spiritual awakening, a lot of it comes from the wrong place. A lot of that comes from this ego instead of our higher self, instead of our eternal spiritual soul beings. And so what happens is we go through this ego death and it takes a really long time in my opinion because you're reversing years and years and years and even ancestral trauma because everything that you thought you once were, you start to realize that's not who I am. And then you begin to question why you've done everything you've done in your life leading up to this point. And it can be very confusing and you can feel very lost and wonder or question, like what is my direction in life? What am I supposed to be doing? And it's so normal to go through these emotions and go through these dark night of the soul phases. And from what I've experienced, now I've only been on this spiritual journey for two and a half years, but I've gone through a few of these cycles because the thing is, is you can't just like sit down and be like, okay, let me write out every single limiting belief I have, every little thing I've done out of ego, every little thing that I perceive to be done for the wrong reasons, because what happens is once you start having this awareness, you pick up on things throughout just an average day, you're like, whoa, why do I think that? And then you start to trace it back and you break that ego wall down and then you break this other one. And along with that, a lot of guilt can come guilt of, why was I doing this to myself? How did I not see this before? We can have regrets or even anger for the way that we've done things in the past, but the key here is to understand that you weren't going through this and you didn't have this consciousness at that time. So what I really want you to understand is like, this is the prime point to give yourself compassion and grace and not hold yourself from five, 10, 20 years ago to the standard of you right now, because we're always growing, we're always evolving. I believe that the spiritual journey is a lifelong journey. It's not something that you just go through and then boom, you're enlightened. It is a constant cycle of working on yourself along with these shadow selves and these ego deaths and all of these things that we work on. We do have the inner peace and the calm that comes out of that, but it doesn't happen immediately. You can take a long time and you can go through these phases where you're feeling this depression, this loneliness, this isolation, and it might last a week, it might last a month, it might last a year, but just understand that everyone goes through this and it's normal. You're not doing anything wrong. And that was something I battled with for a long time was, well, everyone else seems like happy and like they're getting these manifestations and they're doing this. Like, why am I so depressed? Why don't I want to be social? Why do I not know what I want in life all of a sudden, but it's completely normal. And what's beautiful about that is when we begin to go inwards and learn more about ourselves and what we truly desire from our heart, a new pathway is shown to us and we listen to our hearts and we begin to follow that path. And that is where the beauty and the happiness and the inner peace lie because what often happens is that our interests, our passions, our desires change so drastically and it seems like it comes out of nowhere. But in reality, all of those desires that are coming out now or maybe you're not sure what they are yet, they've always been in you, but we've been so clouded by the way that the world works is that it was so stuffed down and we were so unaware of what our true passion or true calling in life is, that we have to break through all of those things that have come down on us and pushed us down our entire lives. And often because of those passions and interests changing, we again feel very disconnected from a lot of the people we felt connected with before. Maybe that share those same desires. And then along with that comes guilt. Because of your newfound awareness, you know that you or I were the ones that are changing. We're the ones that are the reason that these relationships are feeling more disconnected and along with that can bring this deep sadness and it can bring this depression and it can bring this guilt. And that's one of the hardest things I think about this process and this awakening. We just don't resonate with a lot of the same people anymore and that's a really hard thing to deal with. It's like we're stuck between these two worlds, this 3D earth asleep world filled with these day to day robotic emotions and ways of doing things. And then this other world where we are looking deep within ourselves and why we feel certain ways, why we have certain triggers, what do we want to do to make an impact on this world. And a lot of it comes back to wanting to heal the world because once you go through the spiritual awakening, you see so much clearer how how messed up it is and you want to fix it and you want to change it, but you can feel so helpless because it's like where do you start? How do you do this? And so often times people that are going through a spiritual awakening just want to share all of this. Like I'll tell you what, I've pretty much lost all of my passions besides spirituality. All of this kind of stuff, inner work, self-development, God, like anything outside of that. I just don't really have an interest in anymore when I used to have so many. And that can be really scary because it can seem like there are so few people that can relate to you on that level, hence going back into the isolation and the loneliness. And so sometimes it can just, it can feel like this downward spiral. We want to be in this, this spiritually awakened world, but we don't necessarily want to or know how to leave behind our old ways of doing things. And so we, we get stuck. And we feel kind of like we're being pulled in both directions and it could be overwhelming. It's like, oh my God, like what, what do I do? Who am I? But over time, when those walls begin to fade away, you get a little light that shines through. Imagine if you're trapped in this dark cave, right? And there's a wall of rocks and boulders and you feel in the dark and you're trapped and then you start doing this inner work and one of those pieces falls out and you can see a thing of light coming through, a stream of light coming through. You see the light and you keep pounding away at these rocks and they keep falling and more light is shining through and more light is shining through. And so it's worth it and it's beautiful to do this work on ourselves, but it can be really difficult. You know, a lot of times I think spiritual awakenings can lead to addictions as far as a coping mechanism. You know, people can turn to alcohol more or nicotine, whatever their poison is, you know, and then that brings on more guilt because we want to be these clean and vibrant and healthy awakened beings. But at the end of the day, we are in a human body and we are here for that human experience. And so when you're going through these cycles of the dark night of the soul, the biggest thing I want you to remember what I had to tell myself when I'm going through these because I'm going through one right now. It's not always going to be that way. It's worth it and to just keep pushing through and then on the days that you can't give yourself rest, give yourself love, give yourself compassion and grace, you know, sit down and meditate or pray or take a bath or do what makes you feel good and just understand that like this too shall pass. And when it does, when you remove that next huge boulder, a huge beam of light will shine through for you. You know, we can be really tired and exhausted all the time, but think about it though, like it makes sense because if our entire way of living and our entire belief systems we've cultivated throughout our lives are being shattered and our internal being is changing so rapidly and drastically and we're rebuilding and we're being reborn and we're finding a new purpose in life. That's a lot to go through and so it's okay and it's normal to feel exhausted all of the time. It is exhausting work, but it's also so beautiful. There's so much beauty that comes in with doing this work and the more that you can just do this and get through it and focus on yourself before you can focus on healing others and the rest of the world, the more you heal yourself, the more that will heal the world. I love you guys so much. If you found value in this video, please don't forget to subscribe and like so we can hang out again next week. I know that sometimes things can be difficult and dark and cold and lonely, but I promise I am here for you. I get it and so many of us that have gone through a spiritual awakening and continue to go through it have been there. You are not crazy. You are not alone. If you want me to go deeper into the subject, just drop it in the comments below. I love you guys so much and I will see you next time.