 What's going on you guys welcome to the single guy channel my name is Lloyd bringing you practical and actionable dating advice that really works Today we're going to be talking about guys over 40 how to get girls when you're 40 plus Dating advice for guys that are a little bit older So what is the main purpose of this video for purpose of this video is to discuss the positives about being a guy in your 40s or guys 40 plus when it comes to dating there's a lot of positives that comes with this you guys We're also going to talk about the issues a lot of these guys encounter and these are the typical issues that I find that happen with my Students that happen with my friends and just general things that I've seen come up with this channel We're going to talk about these issues and we're going to talk about the best ways to fix these issues So at the end of this video you should have a pretty good clear idea of how to be successful as a guy in your 40s Whether you're just starting out whether you just got a divorce whether you have kids or whether you've been dating for a while And you want to take your game to the next level It's like what the positive is first first of all women love older men Okay, there's a lot of women out there that are really looking for a guy who's older They recognize that the guys around their age or not really cutting it for them They don't have the things that they want and that's usually why they go for these over guys because they have their shit together Older guys aren't running around trying to bang everything that moves. They're usually more relaxed They have a feeling for life. They're more mature their game is usually better They're usually more socially intelligent, you know, they've been talking to a lot of people in their lives So they've done this a lot and so chances are if you're older You probably have better game with women than you do when you're younger. That's just the way it works You learn you get better And also to guys at this age and to have a little bit more money now I don't care what anybody says money does make it do it does help Okay, now you can still get really great women and be very successful When it comes to getting girls when you're dead broke I am a testament to that but it money does help and you're able to take them out on nice dates You can buy them drinks. You can also Take them to you can bottle service to in the club As well, you're able to pay for coaching and all this sorts of stuff. That's gonna help you get a lot better So you have an advantage over these younger guys in those areas for those reasons There's a common misconception that girls that go for older guys and have daddy issues That's not true at all. Okay, women who go for older guys They actually tend to be a little bit more mature and know what they want and recognize that the guys around their age Aren't cutting it. So whether you're looking for younger women or whether you're looking for women around your age being 40 plus Actually isn't bad at all Typically a lot of the problems and issues I see with these older guys are a little bit different Than what you would expect from the younger ages and we're gonna get into those right now So the first thing that I see with older guys and it comes to issues is their mentality You know, they just they've been stuck in a routine in bad habits habits that have been making them Unsuccessful for a long time and it's tough to break out of those bad habits sometimes Now the thing about this is though is if you are able to break out of those bad habits I find that learning how to be good with women is Very easy or a lot easier than it is when you're younger when you're older because you have a lot more life experience You know yourself a lot better. You know what you're good at You know what your strengths are and you're just more socially smart So the guys that are in my program that are 40 plus I find that they actually learn very quickly like we give them a few strategies We give them a few things to do and they usually hit the ground running pretty quickly The guys that I have trouble with the guys that it takes a little bit longer for that to happen with It's because they are stuck in these negative mindsets They've been thinking they've been doing things a certain way for a long period of time and it takes a little bit Especially if they're not willing to change some of those things then that can be a real problem But if you are willing to shed your ego, you are willing to dive into new things Learning this stuff learning how to be good with women can be very very easy for you And it can happen very very quickly, but if you've been doing the same things Expect to get the same results one complaint that I get from a lot of older guys is that women tend to think older men are gross So they This is the number one thing that I actually hear young girls saying like all men are gross, you know all this stuff How do you get past this thing? Well? Obviously take care of yourself be in shape have good hygiene You know make sure you know there aren't hairs coming out of your frickin like eyelashes or whatever like crazy ones like Jack Nicholson But if you are Jack Nicholson, you're probably doing fine with women So how do you solve this? Well the easy way to take care of it is basically be in shape Don't be fat. I'll let's one of the reasons why people associate with it because older men tend to be out of shape have good hygiene Have good a good sense of style if you have all those things together and you're you're well put together You're well groomed dude There's no way a girl is even gonna say that to in fact She's probably gonna think that you're 10 or 15 years younger than you are at a minimum if you take care of all these things And rather than her thinking you're this old gross guy. She's thinking you're gonna be this mature Attractive man a lot of guys also tend to feel creepy when they're going after women or they're like hitting on them or if Especially if the girls younger they tend to feel a little bit creepy about it Well, I can tell you guys if you are Feeling creepy when you go up and talk to a girl then she's gonna feel that too And she's gonna think you're creepy as well but the best way to do it that I would say is You want to let them come into your reality rather than you going into theirs For instance, if you were pursuing a girl and you wanted to go she was going to a festival and You put on some glow sticks work silly outfit and then took a bunch of drugs and then went to this festival Okay, that would be going into her reality That would be doing something that clearly she is you know willing to do But if you brought her to her your reality where you maybe took her to a cocktail event or something like that It's gonna be a little bit more mature. Maybe a nice dinner Some of something that you would normally do as a man your age Well, that's her coming into your reality and I find it to be a lot more successful and that eliminates pretty much all of the Creepiness and all of the weird feelings that people get because if you go too much into her reality She's gonna think there's something wrong and weird with you because she's thinking why is this guy's so badly want to be You know in my reality, you know, it's there's something wrong with his he hasn't figured it out at this age Another complaint I get is that most guys when they're at this age, most of their friends are married or most of friends are you know In relationships and stuff like that and they have kids and families and They're dealing with those sorts of things. So if you're dealing with a lot of married people like a lot of your friends are married I highly recommend that you stop spending that much time with them and start spending more time with people that are single more people that Are in your Circumstance if you are dealing with people that are not in your circumstance They're probably not gonna help you accomplish their goals and in fact, they're probably gonna admonish you from doing that You know, you're wondering how to find these guys basically do the weekly activities recommendation that I put my previous video So if you haven't seen that I talk about how to get girls in your 30s That's a great video to watch Especially if you're in this because a lot of the principles that are in that are gonna work for you if you implement them This is mostly just dealing with a lot of the issues that come up with guys in their 40s And then in addition to to this point when you're dealing with kids So if you're you're divorced or you have kids or something like that and you're in your older age Okay, how do you get girls with you have kids? Well, probably the same way that you would for any age like a lot of this stuff is applicable It's just this is something another responsibility that you have and so it becomes more of a time management issue How do I have time to take care of my kids and have my dating life? That's something that you have to fit into your schedule And if your dating life is important to you then yes You should definitely do that and I know a lot of guys think that they don't want to spend one second away from their child Or don't want to do any little thing To you know do something outside of the norm or whatever So I get a lot of questions from guys that are worried about like hitting on girls Well, they have their kid or talking to a girl when you know, they're watching their other child um I Don't have a problem with this dude. I think you should fucking do it I think you should Disregard what a lot of the norm is I don't know where this thing came from or where it became uncool to do it but there's a lot of people who are in this in this situation and Chances are if you have a kid and you're taking good care of it She'll see that and actually see that as a positive in some ways In fact, they actually did a study to find out what are what is the sexiest action a man can do and at the Very top of that list even above, you know showering naked in a waterfall with like chisel to have It was playing with kids women love to see a guy taking care of children playing with them They love that thing. That's very sexy to them So if you can utilize that that's a huge advantage and also too if you're really worried about making a move Well while you're with your kid and you feel like it's gonna set the wrong example or something like that You have to really be thinking about your happiness here Because your kid is the most important thing in your life and if she is surrounded by a guy who is Discruntled unhappy with his life and just bitter and you know alone That's not gonna make her happy. That's gonna turn her into the same turn her a him into the same thing And if you're happy then your kid is a lot more likely to be happy I don't know any parents that are super happy that have unhappy kids Another thing that people have to deal with that's pretty tough is fighting the expectations So a lot of these examples that I've given a lot of it comes down to fighting Expectations people have of you when you get to a certain age the norm is you should have a family You should have a job that's secure You should have all of that shit and a lot of people don't have that in this day and age now What I recommend that you do to kind of avert these thoughts is first of all have everything else together Have your career be on your right path be comfortable within yourself It's just you know, you're not married and you're going after women and there's nothing wrong with that people are getting married later and later This norm is outdated this expectation this societal pressure. It's it's wrong It's just incorrect And so you have to realize that and when you're in this position keep doing the things that you have to do Don't listen to your stupid married friends Don't listen to people that are gonna try and tear you down and tell you to do something different because they're not improving with Their lives. This is one of the biggest things that I have to deal with with guys is they have certain Expectations certain things that they feel like they should be doing and they make bad decisions based on them Don't make decisions based on what you think you should be doing make decisions based on what you know You have to be doing a big thing that I see happening with guys too is that they tend to because of these pressures They get married way too soon or they end up marrying a girl who just wants to be saved And what I mean by save is I mean she wants to be married She wants to start having children quickly and she thinks that you're the guy who has a secure job That's gonna help her get that and she's just seeing you as that type of person and as soon as you get married Well, the relationship turns to shit So if you're encountering women that are trying to get married really soon remember stay on What you think you have to do and look at the relationship as a whole I recommend that as a guy even in your 40s Even later than 40s. I think you should not get married until you feel like you've developed your skills and you were satisfied With your success with women. All right now we're coming to the final issue that a lot of guys have at 40 plus and That's basically meeting women. Okay When you're in college, it's very easy to meet women when you're you know younger your people a lot of your friends are going out To bars and clubs and stuff like that and you're just your friends Maybe a hell of a friend from college. You're able to meet them that way So a lot of older guys are struggling, especially if they like younger women They don't know where and how to meet them. Well, a lot of the stuff that I've recommended for guys in their 30s In my previous video, you should definitely check out all of that stuff still applies when you're in your 40s You're just a little bit older. This is the case where you know age is just a number at this point So if you're going out to these venues, okay, how should you act? Okay, if you're going out to maybe a bar or you're going doing weekly activities sorts of things How do you do it in a way that like I said at the beginning is not creepy Well, you have to let them come into your reality. Like I said This doesn't mean that you shouldn't say hi or you should just wait for girls to come to you That only usually works if you're getting bottle service at a club or a bar or something like that You will have to make some sort of effort. You will have to go up and talk to women and that's fine You step outside of your comfort zone and be able to do it shed your ego and go out and just do it You can meet people through your group weekly group activities If you're taking salsa classes if you're taking I don't know improv or you know, you're doing some Weekly group workout activities to those are really great as well all of these are places where you can meet people and Make connections through them that way and this doesn't end when you hit 40 It's not just like you're staying at home and being boring all the time So when you're out in these bars and night clubs I recommend that you be a little bit more relaxed when you're talking to women Don't chase after them if you're 20 you can kind of run around and hit on like 40 girls in the bar When you're 40 plus I would highly recommend that you don't do that that will get you labeled as a creep What you should do is kind of be relaxed in your own environment Take care of your style to care of your dress code see which girls kind of hang around you and then start talking to them And then use your resources use the things that you have to your advantage If you have a little bit of money, don't be scared to buy or a drink Don't buy every girl who comes up to you a drink. That's a bad strategy, too I have one buddy who's 40 plus who is doing very very well on tinder's Much of my students are doing very very well on tinder, too So you can use dating apps the best age group that I would say if you're 40 plus to be able to Go for that you're gonna be the most successful with is late 20s early 30s women at this age group are they've Kind of calm down. They're more mature They're much more open to hooking up with an older guy or starting a relationship with an older man And they still look really good at that age, too Like I if you're into younger girls I'd say late 20s is probably the best time to go for them and these women still hang out at bars and clubs They still go out to you can still meet them through your weekly activities like I recommend when you're an older man You have a lot more experiences You have a lot more things going for you and they see in that they hear like certain things that you tell them So when you're talking talk about some of those experiences Maybe that time that you traveled or maybe that time you had this job or something like that that was really cool Be calm relaxed about it and that's gonna be really interesting to work Not every girl is gonna be jumping on you know talking about those sorts of stories But the ones that are are gonna be really really into you and if you can draw them into your reality That's where you really shine Now when you get girls that are in this area that are talking to you for a little bit There's gonna be some objections The most common objection that a girl is gonna give you is she's gonna say that she's gonna be like you're too old for me Now the bad thing the bad response to this would be to say oh, no I you know older men are better at all of these things, you know, you know, I can I know what you want a lot more Okay, if you try and justify it to her that's gonna seem try hard So what you should do instead is just be like, you know, I'm old So what that's kind of the attitude that you need to have you can also reverse it on them, too You can also say well, it's not a question of age. It's it's a question of are you mature enough for me? That's a good way to like Reverse it on her and make yourself more of a challenge, which that's what it should be You know, she's the younger girl like she should be going for you also to women are gonna say They're gonna ask you your age to be like how old are you and you know A lot of times guys will like shy away from their age and they don't want to talk about it Oh, don't ask me that now do own it I would even go so far as to say, you know what? I'm old enough to be your dad What are you doing out so late girl like it shouldn't you be in bed? Basically, it reverses it on them again. You're not ashamed about your age You're playing it up and a lot of times it seems counterintuitive You it seems like you're digging yourself your own grave, but actually it tends to work a lot better You know basically this is a shit test This is women testing to see if you're as confident as you claim to be and if you're ashamed about your age Well, you just ain't that confident. Okay, cool So that's all the things that I could think about Issues when it comes to older men again watch my previous videos you guys all of them still applies when you're older A lot of this is just people giving excuses people stuck in bad habits All this stuff will apply to you the principles of game of talking to women of being able to get it from one Place to another it's still it's still the same when you're 40 or you're 20 It's just there's certain things that change within your life And there are certain few different expectations that you might have to deal with so hopefully this video answered those issues And just remember guys the quintessential ladies man as played out in cinema is James Bond Now I don't know if you've noticed but James Bond is an older man In fact, I don't know about any actor that's played James Bond that hasn't been over the age of 40 And if they had made him over the eight or under the age of 40, it would look kind of weird It would look corny his confidence wouldn't look as good as it was because you know in Kezia Noble says this in her video You know older men can get away with being a little more confident and cocky And that's the truth in that younger if younger guys do it then they seem a little bit arrogant But if older men do it it seems a little bit more. That's probably about right So there's a lot of great things to being an older man Good luck out there you guys if you made today and consider subscribing I come up with videos like this every single week if you're an older man or you're for you plus He's looking for some coaching looking for some extra help. I coach guys like this on the regular basis So hit me an email the single guy 2017 at gmail.com you feel like I left out anything you feel like I got something wrong Please put in the comment section below would love to read it. Thanks a lot again. Good luck out there you guys