 When I married, what you don't know the father's name, you don't know who they are, what they are, how will you marry? I said, I'm marrying only the girl. So, this whole debate about is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Marriages are made in heaven, but you're cooking hell within you. Namaskaram, Sadhguru. A Netflix show on the Indian way of matchmaking is trending and drawing criticism for the regressive ways of arranged marriage. Is it still relevant in today's time? Well, if you do not know this, the success of something is in the result. Luxembourg, which is held as one of the most economically prosperous and free societies, a small little country. Diverse rate is eighty-seven percent. Spain, diverse rate is some sixty-five percent. Russia, fifty-one percent. United States, forty-three percent. India, one point five percent. You decide what's working. Because marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you are fuzzy, or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway it's an arrangement. It is best. It is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arrange management is some kind of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative, exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense, they may be doing it for those reasons. Well, they may be watching the darshan but somebody just now, in the last couple of days, asked a thing that they want to choose a girl for their boy. One girl is well-educated, pretty, another girl, father, big man. So which should I do? So I asked a simple question. You want to marry the girl or somebody's wealth? You'd make up your mind because I don't know what's your priority. It depends what's your priority. If your priority is such that somebody's wealth by marriage becomes yours and that's all that matters to you, fine? That's your choice. That's the kind of life you've chosen. When I married, I did not know her full name. I did not know her father's name. I did not know, in India, I did not know her caste or anything. When I told my father, I said, what, you don't know the father's name? You don't know who they are, what they are, how will you marry? I said I'm marrying only the girl. I'm not planning to marry any of the other things that usually may come with a girl. I'm just a girl. That's it. Well, everybody thought this is a disaster. Some of my, you know, self-appointed advisors will be there always. Though I never took anybody's advice in my life, there'll always be advisors. They said you're making the biggest mistake in your life. This is going to be your disaster. I said whatever happens, whichever way it happens, I knew this much. It's for me either to make it a disaster or a success. Because who you marry, how you marry, which way it was arranged, by who it was arranged, is not important. How responsibly you exist, that's all there is. So this whole debate about is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little first out, I think your decisions are little better. If a eighteen, twenty year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those ten people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry, within three months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least two years you must suffer. It's like a jail town. If you make a mistake, at least two years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rate is highest. So, gods dictates are not able to stop the breakups. Law is not able to stop the breakups. You need to understand this. When parents organize, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe if their judgment may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours? But if you have matured beyond them, that's a different thing. You can make your own decisions. But arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom is the only question? I think it's best it's arranged by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man or the best woman in the world, because we don't know where the hell they are. With limited contact that we have, what is the reasonable good thing we can put together, that's all it is. So, the very fact the divorce rates are as it is in these, so the different societies that I spoke about, well, the success rate is very clear. When parents are the basis of your organization, it's little better because they will think little long term. You just like the way she is dressed and you want to get married today. Well, tomorrow morning you will realize you don't want to have anything to do with her. So, because when you're 18, 20 due to various compulsions or peer pressure or something, you may take decisions which will not last a lifetime. Or sometimes you really hit it off with somebody and it may work out. That's another matter. So, arrangements. Everything is an arrangement, please understand this. You may think so many things. It is arranged by your emotion or your greed or your sir, your loud ones. It is arranged by somebody, isn't it? Or something. It is an arrangement. How you arrange it? Well, it's your choice. I'm not saying this is the way or that is the way, but whichever way you do it, please conduct it responsibly, joyfully. If you… you know, they've been saying marriages are made in heaven, but you're cooking hell within you, marriage is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. Now, you need to understand to fulfill your needs, physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs, you're coming together. If you always remember to fulfill my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that, after some time you think he or she needs you, then you will start acting vantonly, then of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man, and a very young woman, got engaged. So once the… not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, you can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your… whatever sufferings you go through, you can always share with me. The guy said, well, I don't have any struggles or pains or problems. I said, well, we're not yet married. So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems and you need somebody to lean on, well, there'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful, everything will be wonderful because you are without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you and of course an unfortunate consequence to the other person.