 Hey, good morning. It's Bridget and welcome to Sunday morning coffee with Bridget Attempting to do an audio this morning. I'm literally just waking up. I am gonna head into work today and I Woke up early enough to be able to do a meditation. So I feel pretty chill and mellow. I've actually been up for probably about 45 minutes So I'm just getting out up from bed From a lying down position. Some of you can relate to this while depending upon when you're listening to Sunday morning coffee So today's talk topic is chameleon Chameleon So when I think of the word chameleon, I actually think about boy George. You guys remember the song Come a comma, comma, comma, comma chameleon You come and go You come and go Right well That wasn't the inspiration for this for this podcast, but What actually is inspiration is this concept of realizing that How often we change we adjust we adapt our personality what we want to say and Who we are based upon who we're with Most of us most of you because you're watching or listening to my Sunday morning coffee podcast you Have this skill down pat You are an empath you feel and sense energy and whether you realize it or not that is a psychic Intuitive gift that is a skill that you have honed and used all your life Again, whether you realize it or not you have that and so you're scanning the room you're scanning people you're Looking for ways to connect and that is natural. It's nature. It's natural and The thing is though is that when you do that Sometimes we are such overachievers as empaths We are such overachievers Intuiting what people need or want or expect from us And we can blame it on our brains and our past experiences and the way we were trained and our homes growing up But we're in the first initial relationships we've had training us in such a way that we Want to know what other people expect of us so that then we can meet those expectations and not just meet them But perhaps exceed them and be the best person they've ever met or ever seen or ever been with Do you see? There's this constant Push To be the best or to be great or to be good and in order to And why I don't know that we're conscious of that But why it is really to receive love to be loved to seek approval Which approval for many is a form of love recognition is a form of love being liked is a form of love and So we have learned all of us have adapted have changed ourselves and learned To meet the needs of others and to anticipate even the needs of others Meet them even before they ask by picking up on their energy cues by sensing them Also by looking at things like their nonverbals the way they're acting how they're moving What they say but it's not even what they say It's how they say it and the repetitive things that people say we pick up on that and we get it And we take all this information in and then we pull out the color of The chameleon that we need to be in order to blend in to be accepted by this person To be In connection with this person there we try to find that familiarity or that common ground We try to give them something that is of comfort for them And that is for us to respond in a way that they can recognize that feels familiar and that feels comfortable for them And so we bounce that energy back to them But in doing so There are moments Where we adjust ourselves in our own thinking in the moment our own value our own belief about something we tweak it We tweak tweak it In order to not set off the other person in order to not make waves in order to not cause a Conversation where it's especially early on like where it's going to disrupt them or upset them Or it was somebody that you've known for a really long time Like maybe your parents or that brother that has that certain maybe political view for example I'm lucky. I don't have that. So hey Adam if you're listening. I'm not talking about you, bro But you know, it's true. We do it. So we adapt we change we become a chameleon and I recently it was in a group and Working on some spiritual concepts and I'm feeling into the deeper waters of myself and my own remembrance of who I am and in doing this like meditation type work and this deep healing work. I Realized, oh my gosh. I'm such a chameleon. I literally changed for every person around me. I change at the cafe When the boss is there I'm different. I'm totally different because she makes me so nervous Oh my gosh, she makes me like lose my freaking mind like I can't remember anything She's like super direct and Kind of intense but very successful and so I totally respect her, you know but She scares me So There's that And also to in relationship like I've recognized that over the past 15 years of the marriage I've been in but I have adapted and adjusted But it's not I want to I want to be really clear to meet the needs of other people also I want to be clear. It's not that people necessarily are asking us to do this. In fact, people are not asking us To change ourselves to meet their needs We think that that's what people want and this is why we have a culture where people are now craving vulnerability and authenticity where people are real and Willing to just be themselves. This is why because we have been just anticipating that we need to change For others, but we don't need to do that. We have to stop doing that. We have to break the cycle of that so I Recognized that one of the values I've had for many years and I don't know that it's a value even it's just a It might have been It might have come from like a need for survival or a need to just feel calm or peacefulness inside myself Maybe because of the anxiety. I'm not sure why exactly maybe because of my upbringing my childhood You know living in a home where there's a lot of unpredictability and that kind of thing emotionally Maybe I don't know but there's this there has been this unmet place in me Where I've needed to feel comfort Wanted to be taken care of or had someone like just do little things for me that make my life so easy, you know and I Have known for a while. I'd say probably five years maybe that that's the case maybe even seven years eight years I mean about halfway into my marriage. I think I realized that I Chose a partner who is very nurturing very steady very calm very mellow to give me a sense of a source of comfort and so because I wanted to sustain that That kind of core base feeling I adapted and adjusted over time to Trying to blend in or match that energy and So Chameleon like blending in and so over time I Just kind of fell into that That state of being which now feels like a state of Almost paralysis in a way. I mean that's a harsh word, but almost like being blessed with such a buffer Now I literally feel like It's almost as though I grew so dependent on someone else Unintentionally like I didn't realize that was happening and I think many people have this experience but I Never changed who I was at my core Like there was always an underlying restlessness and unsettledness a desire to go travel to go be with Lots of different kinds of people and to go to the fence and be social and meet new friends and eat at different restaurants And have different experiences. There's always been that and I've done that and that has happened for me To some degree, but then when I come back Into what my life is to my home base. It's completely dramatically different than that and then I have to adjust and adapt So the part of me that's Chameleon like Just like for you may have shown up in the home where I'm coming back in and having to adapt and shift gears and go into more of a Okay, now, this is my role. I'm the mom. Okay, I'm gonna make dinner Okay, let's schedule those in those appointments or whatever it might be and Or oh, I have to I have to work on my business, you know, that kind of thing because I do I have been also during this entire time also Tending to my business and There's also this recognition too that like the Chameleon part of us is also the part that's out in public in social settings So meeting new people we are we really changing ourselves? Or are we seeking to bring out the best parts of ourselves or the parts that we feel are most compatible with that group? That may very well be the case It's not necessarily that we are manipulating energy, but we are bringing our best Self right and that's normal. I think when you're in groups and whether you're going to a social event at the theater or you're going to a party at your kids school for a fundraiser or you're going to Work a Meeting at work a board meeting at your nonprofit Wherever we adjust and adapt and we bring the parts of us that are most fit in alignment with those places and spaces In a way that is Chameleon like we are adapting we are blending in But it's not to say that we sacrifice ourselves in those moments I think that the the core point here is that to recognize when You are actually holding yourself back when you are intentionally not Sharing to your fullest extent where you could you actually feel it in your body I can actually feel it inside myself Like I feel the other person reacting or responding a certain way and then I pull back Into myself, which means I don't share I stay in that zone in that mode Where it is acceptable to them where they will receive me and the level of acceptance and it won't create Stress, it won't create stress or I won't get backlash. I won't and I've recognized that I Have spent a lot of time in my life Chameleon like to avoid backlash To avoid somebody coming at me with an intensive emotion Because I already walk through the world as an empath extraordinarily sensory I don't just feel in my heart space and just like you You don't just feel in your heart space either Chances are you're feeling in your body because now for me I've shifted into my body in the last two years My body has been such a barometer and now that my body is so aware and feels all of the stuff that my heart is feeling It is like unbelievable like my ability to sense and feel energy and into it energy and to Be psychic with my body. Oh my gosh, it's off the charts and you may be feeling like this too because Astrologically things have changed and shifted we as a community as a society as a human kind as a whole Has completely been going through an overhaul a massive shedding and a healing and a clearing and a release and that is from the COVID That is from a collective trauma. We are healing and because of that we are moving into a more Heightened awareness and some people might call it hypervigilance You know survival mode fight flight freezer fawn if you're in psychology, you're going to a therapist and yet yet this energetic piece of us This chameleon like ability that we have is a skill That is great. It is handy. It is useful and yet it is something that We have to start to recognize is the opportunity to see how are we using that skill? How are we being ourselves or not being ourselves? And you might make a conscious effort to not be yourself someplace in some environment because it's safer. I Get that listen to your body then when you're pulling back. It's for a reason But when you start to feel that pullback of yourself of your essence Feel into the why Why is this happening right now? Why am I feeling like this right now? Am I afraid of their response? Am I anticipating their? Strong feelings coming at me Am I trying to avoid that am I trying to avoid a conflict or a confrontation or even just a simple Disagreement or argument but because my body is so in tune and so heightened and it's intuitiveness and it's awareness and its sensitivity and it's knowing I Might not be able to deal with that And so I am making a choice to not go there And if you make the choice to then nope, this is who I am. I'm gonna drop the veils I'm gonna drop the false hoods in this relationship and this whether it's with like your best friend and you just haven't quite You're always the one that listens and you never Like express or you've had an issue with some stuff. There was some way that they're talking to you about something and You have just a different feeling. It's not about confronting anybody. It's just about being yourself It's about saying what you feel It's not a choose one side you both can feel two different things you can disagree and it can be just fine Adults do that. That's what happens. I know we've forgotten. I know we have forgotten this That adults can have total differences of opinions and views on things and still completely be friends You can have a conversation about it if you want But you can be friends You don't have to just hold back what you feel if they're like spouting off something and you feel something different Don't you don't have to hold back. That's the chameleon in a new You are blending in because you don't want to make waves My friends my empathic sweet intuitive body intuitive friends You are already in the waters. Okay You are already floating on the waves right now like you were already in that And you have a surfboard. You're gonna be fine or a big pool floaty. You know what I'm saying? You are okay We have got to now, you know, I'm trying to do this to stop holding back. It doesn't mean you go at somebody It's I'm not talking about the intensity of oh my god, this is what I feel ball I'm not talking about that because the way that you communicate the way You express The way you share your views and your values the way you do it the energy in which you're sharing from the authenticity Not from anger, which oftentimes it's like Pat people are very passionate and sometimes that can be it's so close Passionate anger. Oh my gosh, you can misinterpret those energies, right? It's not about you. It's not personal So the way that you share Just remember the way that you share from it's about you. This is me. This is how I feel this is about you I'm not telling you how you need to feel this about me how I feel It makes all the difference in the world so too then as you receive as you receive the information Your chameleon doesn't have to blend into the background and wish you were like could just disappear And you don't have to stop listening to the person either you can recognize that When you are in the dialogue when you are in the exchange That you are a Compassionate observer you are holding that space for your friend to Release to share their opinions to just get it all out there They might be eventing like a chimney let them or they might have very strong views that you do not agree with let them You don't have to take it personally. That's how you receive, right? recognize that when you're receiving First step into the abysm be the observer Everything isn't about you. I know it's shocking to believe that because we're not taught that way We're taught we as we walk through the world everything's about us everything's a reflection of what I'm doing and what I'm saying to the world that I'm getting Back what I'm but I'm reflecting out there. I'm gonna put it out there all this stuff, right? We've been taught that you get what you rebut your soul, right? Careful what you ask for you know that kind of thing, right? We've been taught that that's in our mind right? When the truth is it's not about you believe it or not everything is not about you, but you are about you You have to be about you So as this chameleon You have the beautiful ability to adapt and adjust and to blend into your environment But don't do it to hide and don't do it to Hold back yourself because you're afraid that if you share what you really feel and think That you're not gonna be loved or that you won't be liked Do you see that fear? Do you feel that you feel me? There's so many pieces to this I know but I really wanted to talk to you about it because it's been coming up for me And again, I want to be really clear It's nobody else's fault how you choose to react how you react to something you take something personally when it's not personal or You share something you'd like redirect like people do this all the time, right with anger You're mad about something totally different something that happened at work So you take it on your your your partner or you take it on the clerk at the grocery store, etc Do you know what I mean or in the car? You know, we always redirect it seems like right? Especially at those of you my friends who are processors delayed processors It takes you all the process stuff and then once you process something and then all of a sudden Oh, I need to release this emotion or energy Well, then that experience happened three hours ago or two days ago You know what I mean? So just be really aware and be aware of how You are expressing Like the way that you are sharing. I mean that's You're because you're you're it's energy. That's coming out. So come from a place of authenticity and Recognition that it's about you not about them and you can even say that. Hey, this is I just need to vent This is about me I'm gonna just spout off a bunch of stuff for a little bit or or hey If you have to have a deeper conversation with the person because they're sharing something that you really just have a totally different view On you want us and you say that hey, I have a completely different view on this But it doesn't have anything to do with you this is where I'm at we don't have to agree We can just we don't have to agree But I'm gonna share my how I feel. This is how I feel I'm not trying to change your mind. You're not changing my mind. It's not like that. This is how I feel You know We don't have to be like super aggressive about how we feel and other people don't have to understand us in order for them to love us Or to care about us or to be kind to each other It's about how we express and share ourselves It's not about not sharing or expressing ourselves Okay. All right. So this has been Sunday morning coffee with Bridget. Thanks so much for listening my chameleons My empaths my body intuitives. I'm nice to feel into you today I hope this has inspired your spirit and filled you with hope remember This is your life after all and you get to live it Just live it. Thanks for listening and thanks for watching above life channel on YouTube