 A week or so back, I reacted to the new Fantastic Beasts film, the third entry to this fantastic beast saga. Don't even remember what it's called, because I just can't bother caring anymore. It's like Grindelwald's Revenge, or Rise of Grindelwald, or The Curse of Dumbledore's Army, or I don't know, it doesn't matter. I like millions of people across the globe. Really love Harry Potter, all the movies, the books, I got a whole bunch of Legos. I'm a big fan. So when Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them came out, I was very lenient on it. I said it was a decent start, I wasn't a big fan of the storyline, or the lead character, Newt Scamander, and his ragtag crew of idiots. But I pushed forward with the assumption that these would just get better. We're just slowly building up. But then the next movie came out, oh my gods, it was horrible. What a bad, just a bad movie all around. It killed any further momentum this property could possibly have going for it, which wasn't a lot to begin with. It did the exact same thing the last Jedi did for me. Okay, the first entry wasn't the most exciting, but there was a lot of potential, a lot of promise, and then, dead. But as I am a big Harry Potter fan, I will still press forward and at least see what the trailer has to offer me for the third outing. Do they learn their lesson? Are they gonna wow us this time with the magic and the adventures and the hijinks or what are we gonna get here? Another drab, magic-less, boring affair with a very muddy plot and characters so inconsistent you can't even possibly comprehend their morality anymore. So I let it be known in the trailer reaction that this just wasn't doing it for me. Well, the comments had things to say, and you know what they said? I agree. I'm with you, Adam. This franchise has been nothing to me. Yeah, they should just pull the plug on this whole thing. Some people said like, no they wouldn't do that. Giant movie companies don't pull the plug when film properties are doing well, even if the numbers have been going down ever since the first, and they're not near as high as Harry Potter. Actually, they do. Genius. Remember the shitty Divergent series? They didn't even bother finishing it. I think they did two or three movies and they were done. Did Maze Runner even finish? If so, they certainly didn't put the marketing behind it because I forgot. What about Spider-Man 3? There was supposed to be a fourth but Sony just said screw it, we're rebooting, we're starting over. Spider-Man 3 made more money than the others. So yes, they absolutely could have stopped doing these crappy Fantastic Beasts movies, started from scratch on another magical world adventure, or spun off some more Harry Potter stuff and ruined that because they're all doing this now. But we're pushing forward. And for the most part, I'd say 99% of those comments were in agreement. Man, it sucks. It's a shame that these movies aren't very good. What a waste. There is so much you could mine from this world. It's the same thing I actually have been saying for years and years about the Matrix. And then we saw how that turned out. I gotta move past it. So I moved on with my day. I moved on with my life. Until one comment, one individual, so intelligent, so above the rest of us mere mortal peons comes forth with a ...navel of information shouting at me. Mad. He knows better than I. He knows better than you. He knows better than all the Potter heads combined apparently. I think that's what the fanbase calls themselves. I don't like to align that hardcore with anything. I won't call myself a Potter head, but I like Harry Potter a lot. I wouldn't call myself a, what's like a Die Hard Stan called? You know the John McLean film? I would be a Die Hard Stan. What would I call myself? An Ellis? Now before this dramatic reading commences, I will warn you ahead of time. There is some language in here that's probably above your comprehension skills. This person's a genius of the highest level. If midichlorians were real, his count would be sky high. And I will not be sharing the name and icon of this person since we're really focused on one this time and not a whole bunch like with that Sonic fandom attack I had a couple weeks back. That was so good. What is wrong with people? Imagine being so obsessed with one specific property, movie, television show, game, comic, sport, that you just, everything else, it goes by the wayside and you will viciously attack strangers that think differently of you. It's so sad to regale this tale. Is Tony from Hack the Movies? Tony, take it away and I will warn you guys if I break down and cry it's because my fragile ego cannot take this again. The first time I read through this thing I was devastated. I was on the floor sobbing. I was naked, shaking, shivering, cold, alone, scared. I wanted it to be done, but now I need to learn. I need to learn that mistakes were made in my video and the only person that can right these wrongs is the author of this story. And with that, Tony. Sorry, but your criticism of the series is patronizing. You talk in your description of the spark that made the Harry Potter movie so magical, but your criticism of the Fantastic Beasts series shows that you don't really know anything about the franchise. Also, I've pointed out multiple times that the Fantastic Beasts series doesn't have anywhere near the problems that the original Harry Potter franchise had. So the critical approach to this franchise is too inconsistent to make me think that the Fantastic Beasts smear campaign is anything other than that. A smear campaign. It's politicized hatred of anything rolling right backed up by people like you who constantly want to patronize the Harry Potter brand as childish, but who get angry and reject the films when they stay true to the darker, more dramatic nature of the stories. These films aren't for your little kids. So stop it with the attempt to legitimize the who is the audience for criticism with your the tone doesn't fit claim and erroneously insulting the films calling them dumb. No, sorry, the dumb person is you. It is an absolute projection for you to criticize the films as being dumb. Some whimsical elements in a fantasy film don't constitute tonal clash, just because the film also contains dark content. You think there's no purpose in Greenance's character? You're just throwing any negative criticism at the wall to see what sticks. A huge element of your denigration of the franchise is patronization. Who is the audience for? It's not smart enough to be for adults. What? Adults have no problem taking franchises that are objectively much less smart and mature, plenty seriously, like Star Wars and the Marvel films. J.K. Rowling's plotting is infinitely smarter than Tolkien's, but you are too egotistical to admit that. The Fantastic Bees films are plenty smart and much smarter than the typical blockbuster movie. Rowling has a background in literature and she wrote these stories with the same smart subtext and symbolism that I know is flying right over your head. But you're too arrogant to admit that. You say crimes of Grindelwald got really dark really fast, while saying that the first film was light and about beast. When it wasn't. It was plenty dark and was about Grindelwald attacking New York with credences obscural. You're apparently too slow to follow an actually complex plot. That's the problem. You obviously didn't meaningfully understand Harry Potter's massive appeal. And you're too slow to follow a novelistic plot. Good day, sir. He said it all. It's all true. I don't know why I think I'm smart or even have the capability of understanding the complex minutiae that the Fantastic Bees franchise offers. Here I thought the first film was tonally inconsistent. Ranging wildly between Newt Scamander dry hump in the air to get some sort of a rhino pokemon back into his ball to an orphanage in the depression. Under attack by a human made out of magic itself. A dark wizard on the rise. Political intrigue in the shadows. Storyline that would go over most children's heads and some adults clearly like myself. It's odd though. It's odd because I remember reviewing that movie years and years ago and I swear I said it. It had darker elements and the lighter elements and it didn't really mesh well together. And then the sequel came out and it was just a complete shit show. A clusterfuck narratively with multiple red herrings of sorts. A weird backstory between kids being swapped during a boat wreck. A shipwreck I guess would be the more apt term. The unnecessary and stupid origins of Nagini the Snake being a young Asian woman who was cursed. The drab, colorless wizarding world that doesn't even spark the tiniest of flame in a young one's imagination. If the Fantastic Bees movies are for adults maybe don't title them Fantastic Bees and focus the first film on all these colorful creatures full of whimsy. Maybe don't put out stuffed animals of your little mole creature that likes to steal stuff or the little dumbass twig that sits atop the shoulder of Scamander. And then in the very same breath have our two leads walk to their deaths in a slow painful vat of acid water of which there is seemingly no escape. This is the intelligence, the wisdom, the pen to paper that I was supposed to appreciate that somehow not only rivals JR Token but supersedes him? JK Rowling is now the king of which there is no return and I am nothing more than an insignificant little ant or whatever the cute ant equivalent is in the Fantastic Bees property. I just don't get it. It's too smart for me. It's too smart for I think a vast majority of the moviegoers that wanted to see something more akin to Harry Potter which believe it or not has many dark elements. The difference between the two properties though is the balancing act, a careful juggling of both young and old alike. The kids can appreciate it along with adults. There's some scary aspects for sure. There's plenty of dark stuff. Freakin Voldemort drinks unicorn blood to survive. We see an albino horse in the middle of a dark forest with a horn sticking out of its head and a weird entity floating over the top sucking its life force out and we're supposed to think that's childlike. It's a balancing act. It's delicate. You can either do it right or you can hack it up like the Fantastic Bees have done. Shit, the entire character arc of Harry is far darker than anything in this dumbass Fantastic Bees series. Newt Scamander lets his zoo wild because he had a bad lock on his briefcase. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That's smart to you? Harry Potter meanwhile is locked under the steps by his awful relatives who hate him. He knows nothing of the magical world until it finally comes to him, knocks on his front door and says, hey, you're a wizard Harry. Then we find out after several books and films that he was a kid raised to slaughter. He was never supposed to live through this. That was the plan all along. You raise him under miserable conditions with a pretty piss poor family life to then only die at the end. I mean, that's brutal. That's crippling. Kids and adults can both appreciate it for a myriad of reasons. Please tell me what I'm supposed to appreciate from this new franchise. What character am I supposed to resonate with? A weird aloof individual who can't be bothered to fix a fucking lock on the front door? Who lets these sometimes dangerous beasts roam the streets, destroy anything they come into contact with? Should I really fear Grindelwald, a man who's had multiple identities now and will have a third one because Johnny Depp's not back? I think not. I think there's nothing for me to get excited about and it's the film's job to make me a believer again. So while I appreciate the amount of time you took to construct your little book report, you're wrong. You're misguided. And you need to get the fuck off my channel. Or stick around and maybe learn something. Thanks for the reenactment, Tony. I appreciate your time. If you haven't, check out Tony at Hack the Movies. It's on YouTube. It's a big deal. It's a very big deal. He's a big deal and he'll be the first to tell you that. You can also stick around here if you haven't by hitting the subscribe button, like the video if you appreciated a good rant. And hopefully I'll see you stick around. Take care. I just put away all the Christmas decorations but here I am all lit up again like the holidays are around the corner. You know what I'd appreciate speaking to the holidays if you gave me a gift. A late one, I know. But still, it's the thought that counts. Just subscribe or tell your friends and family about the channel. It would mean a ton to me. You could even become a Patreon at Patreon.com slash Adam Does Movies or join right here via that YouTube join button. It's just a little gift from you to me after all the gifts I've thrown your way. I think you could do something. If not, whatever. It's fine. Thanks for watching.