 Then someone you love and care deeply for taking you for granted Maybe you've experienced this before where you were in love with a man and you kept giving more and more to the Relationship but the more you gave to it the less he seemed to care until it became so bad That you felt like nothing that you could say or do would be enough for him to be completely fair This may not be your fault. So he may never have really taken you or your Relationship seriously, which is one of the reasons why I suggest that you follow what I talk about in the forever woman program So that you don't end up in a situation where it's going nowhere and you have no control over it But let's say that you're not in that situation many times even good Relationships can fall into this pattern and today I'm going to teach you why and how to make sure that you don't fall into these traps Hi, I'm Matthew coast and welcome to commitment connection Here are the four biggest mistakes that you could make that will make a man take you for granted Even if he loves you so number one is not believing in your own value So arguably the most important thing that you can do is believe in your own value Why because of something that's called the law of belief transference which states that whoever believes something more Will end up transferring that belief to the other person So if you don't believe in your own value, no matter how much you train yourself No matter how much you act like you really do value yourself No matter how many times you develop habits to act like a person that values yourself You'll eventually start acting like you don't really believe in your own value and over time Even if he believed that you were valuable when he first met you and that he really liked you and you got into this Relationship and he really believed that you're valuable he'll start taking you for granted because You don't believe that you're valuable and that will end up coming across in your Behaviorisms and what you say and and just how you act and how you feel when you're around him And he'll pick up on that over time and then the next thing you know He'll start to believe whatever it is that you believe as well And instead what you want to do is change the way that you think and feel about yourself you Have total control over how you think and you feel about yourself So decide today that you are a woman of value and that you won't accept anything In to your life that isn't worthy of you So if you're with us right now say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from So number two is being all over him all of the time So this includes wanting to Constantly be connected to him all day and night finding out where he is or what he's doing or trying to spend every single moment of every minute of every free time that you guys have together when Assuming that you guys aren't normally separated for a Period of time right so I get women who will often tell me things like if a man is in a relationship There's no alone time. There's no time to yourself. We're in together for everything And it's like whoa, whoa, whoa, you know if you don't need any alone time ever that is pretty amazing I'm actually really impressed by that but most normal human beings need that right most most of us normal humans So the reason this makes him take you for granted is something called the law of familiarity and the law of familiarity States that the more time you spend around someone or something The more likely that you'll end up taking it for granted my favorite example of this is pulled pork I used to talk about chocolate, but apparently some women can bathe in chocolate 24-7 and they won't ever get bored of it But so I used to love pulled pork right and I still love pulled pork But I used to make it all the time back when I lived in Colorado. I had like a smoker and a Crockpot and a whole bunch of other things that I would make I would make pulled pork in but I would make it I would make so much of it when I did make it that I would have like a full week's worth every time I made it but after Like the first or second day of eating it for breakfast lunch and dinner. I needed something else Right, I started getting tired of it and I wanted some variety. I wanted a change I wanted to eat something different and so I'd put it in the freezer for a couple days and then take some of it out here And there throughout the week so that I didn't get tired of it And so that it stayed something that I really enjoyed eating and so this is kind of a similar situation Right, so you need to give a man some space create an identity and life for yourself That's a part from him that way you'll never become too familiar So that he ends up taking you for granted instead he gets some of you here and some of you there And he always appreciates you. He's always left wanting more and he never fully gets tired of you So you can do this in a relationship as well by building an identity for yourself That is separate from your man and separate from the relationship that you have together And so normally when people are in a relationship, they start building like this Relationship identity of like two people molding together and you want to kind of veer off from that a little bit and start creating your own Identity right start building yourself up through your own identity and that will help out a lot So number three is low standards So women tend to do this because they really like a guy and then their emotions get in the way of their logic And then next thing, you know, they're letting things go that they normally cared about if if they weren't intoxicated with love With this guy, right? And so but here's the thing you teach people How to treat you if you allow and accept someone into your life who treats you like your low value Don't be surprised when that doesn't change at any point, right? So the next thing that you know what ends up happening is you're coming to me saying hey Matt How do I get him to treat me better? But instead what you want to do is start off from the very beginning instead of precedent where you have standards Where you have boundaries and you express your standards in a way that makes him understand What it is that you want so that he doesn't have to read your mind and Guess at what he's supposed to be doing and what your standards actually are what your standards and your boundaries actually are And you do this by speaking in Generalities and so for instance what you might say is I really like it when you know I really like it when guys do this or I really like it when you do that, right? Or I really You know like it You I think you get the point so or the other way to do it is say I really like guys who I really like guys who and this is This is kind of more if you're like at the beginning of a relationship and you're setting those precedents, right? You're setting up those standards as you say I really like guys who who treat women like a gentleman, right? Or if you were going back to the other one It's I really like it when you treat me like a gentleman or you open doors for me or you pull out my chair or you You know, I'm talking about gentlemanly things, right? Some some women don't like gentlemanly things But I think you get a get the point I think most of the women in our community actually really like men being gentlemen So if you get what I'm talking about say I get it in the chat Just say I get it in the chat if you don't get what I'm talking about go ahead and ask whatever questions You have about this or about your situation or about whatever and at the end of this I will get to whatever questions you have and answer all of them Or as many as I can so number four is trying to prove your value to him So this looks like convincing him that you're good together Your kids would be beautiful or that you guys have so many things in common Or trying to impress him with your job and your money and your education This used to be a thing that guys only did but now women are doing it too, right? How smart you are or any of the things that other women seem to be trying to impress guys with these days? Or trying to show him that other men like you in order to make him jealous, right? Some women use that because there's some really Interesting dating coaches out there that teach stuff like that and by the way that doesn't work Because it only makes him feel like you're playing games with them Which makes him resent you and start at best playing games with you at worst leaving because he doesn't want to deal with that or Doing stuff for him without him asking giving him too many compliments Trying to be the perfect girlfriend for him or anything else that that you might think of when you're trying to prove That you're valuable right anytime you feel like I'm like I need to prove to him, right? That I'm the right person that I'm the one that I'm the woman that he should be with forever any time you're trying to do that Stop doing that that this literally does the exact opposite of what you want it to do Why because people know who know their value don't try to prove it. So people who know their value Don't try to prove it I'm just peas my lips. These are new lips. So I just started using these today Anyway, that was a joke Only people who don't believe in their value try to prove how valuable that they are So and because of the law of belief transference He will start believing that you aren't valuable and start taking you for granted if you do this So instead believe in your value and focus on Communicating in a way that you would if you believed in your own value and if you combine those two things and then there's also a third one which is is Positioning yourself in value right that will make him absolutely cherish you that will make him worship you that will make him Feel like you are the most amazing woman that he it's it's literally the opposite, right? If you're trying to prove it it doesn't work but if you fully believe it and you put yourself into a position of value and you Communicate in a way that a high-value woman who a woman who believes in her value would communicate That will make him cherish you that will make him chase you that will make him fight for you That will make him want to commit to you that will make him want Think that you are the type of woman that he wants to be with forever and so if you're really serious and about getting into a great Relationship with a great guy or if you're in a relationship and you want and you feel like it's not really going in the right direction You need some tips make sure to pick up a copy of my program the forever woman You can get it at the forever woman formula calm. There is a a Address right here. You can see it on the screen. Go check that out If you have any questions go ahead and ask your questions in the chat and I will get to those questions Right now. We have over a hundred over a hundred comments already. So what do we what do we got here? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. By the way for all of you I know there's some people watching and you're very concerned about my my buddy Fred here Fred is actually blossoming right now This is some kind of new thing. We didn't I didn't know about the whole blossoming thing But apparently Fred is blossoming blossoming Fred. So That's an interesting development. I know that lots of women here are incredibly concerned about what is going on with Fred And it says hey Matt Alberta, Canada love your program and live chats. Well, thank you Anna. I appreciate you being here so Facebook user says I've been on my own for five years and now dating a man six hours away. So I enjoy our time together I also like my time. Yeah, I mean it's like it's interesting because there's so many different people from so many different Different places and you'll hear so many different things right and whenever somebody says something like You know, he knows what he should be doing and this should just happen organically and all that kind of stuff You have to remember that that this world is a completely different world than it was 30 or 40 years ago and parents aren't raising their children anymore they're throwing them in front of television sets and and You know guys don't know how to connect with women guys are being pushed to be more feminine Women are being pushed to be more masculine. And so anything that used to be Kind of an organic and natural thing that happened in the dating world back in the day is it's it's different now Not because human beings are different and biology is different, but because we've been trained We've literally been trained by our society to act in different ways, right? We're women are being trained to work now, right? Where they didn't work a lot of times before and so a lot of women are you know, trying to get into Different positions where you know a lot of times it takes incredibly masculine strong willed like focused Kind of attitude in order to get into those places And so a lot of people are really really confused about what they should be doing Teresa says how do you turn it around if you have been with him over two years? Is it too late? Well, it kind of depends on what you're trying to turn around, right? If he's you're in a situation where he's taking you for granted Absolutely not. It's it's not impossible to turn things around. It's not too late, right? You can break so so what happens when you're you're in a relationship and There's these bad precedents that are set right these bad precedents get set and then you develop these habits And he kind of develops this vision of who you are, right? He creates an image of who you are, right? And that image of who you are might not be what you want it to be and so what do you do when you're in a situation where you have this guy and He's his image of who you are isn't living up to what you want it to be, right? And it's been a long period of time and you've kind of become set in these different ways that you have What you need is a radical change, right? So if you change so what happens is it becomes a pattern and you create these patterns and And what you have to do is you have to break that pattern And once you break that pattern what ends up happening is he starts going whoa This is she's like a whole new woman, right? And and when he starts seeing you as a whole new woman What ends up happening is that he starts he starts thinking of you in different ways, right? And he starts realizing that that you are different and the question is what ways does he realize that you're different and So so how so first let's go back to the breaking of the pattern because I think this is a really really important thing to talk about So if a guy is kind of set in a pattern with and and he sees you in a certain light How do you break that what you have to do is you have to have a radical change you have to Like completely change his image, right change Everything that's going on right change like if you guys don't live together What you can do is you can change your home, right? So when he does come over he sees a completely different place, right? What you can do is change your hair change your clothes change your Appearance change the way that you look change the way that you stand change the way that you communicate, right? If you start changing all these things and you make a whole bunch of radical changes really really quickly What ends up happening is it kind of like it's almost like a crib puts an eraser on top of the image that he had of you Right and it says whoa, this might not be the image that he really sees Right or that's really there This might not be the person and he might try to pull things back to where it was right because we As human beings we want what's comfortable and what's comfortable is what we already know and so he already knows things being a certain way And if things get shaken up a bit He's like whoa, let's put him back to normal and if you're like no, no, no, this is a new thing, right? I'm not we're not going back to normal, right? This is the direction that we're going now, right? What will end up happening is that he will have to make a decision because If he's created kind of this funnel thinking that you're a certain way and you're like this doesn't work for me He what will end up happening is he'll start being like, okay This is a new woman and is it something that I want or not, right? and if you're doing things in the right way and he has a real connection with you and he really is in love with you and And you know deep down. He's like I want this to work then what will end if he's committed, right? what will end up happening is that he will get on board with this new image of who you are and how you're connecting with him and He will go down that line, right? And if he's not really committed to it and he he's just kind of hanging out and waiting for something better to come along or Whatever, right? What will end up happening is he'll end up leaving Which is fine, too, right because you want to be in a situation where you're not being taken for granted No matter what guy you're with you want to be in a situation where you are not being taken for granted where you are being valued Where you're being appreciated where you're being loved where you have a guy who absolutely adores you, right? That is the situation that you want to be in Okay, I hope I hope that answered your question there, Teresa so Let's see Leah says these past few months look I look like a ninja These past few months me and my boyfriend haven't been spending time together Even though we have been with each other in the same household since August last year, but This while lockdown mayhem has driven our relationship up the wall My boyfriend is constantly on his Xbox or watching YouTube videos on his phone Or he is in the bathroom for hours and when he comes back. I asked what he was doing in there His reply is I was going to the toilet. It takes you an hour and 30 minutes to two hours to That I think your comment got cut off there Leah, but Yeah, I mean it sounds like you're in a situation where he's doing some things that you don't like and What you're it what you've been doing is trying to like Catch him on things, right? That's that that's kind of the frame around what it sounds like is going on in your situation he is in he's doing things that you don't like and instead of connecting with him and You know accepting him and loving him what you're doing is you're going, okay, what are you doing? Why are you in there? What's going on, right? You know, why are you not doing what I want you to do, right? Which is the wrong way to go about things because what that will do is make him is create an adversarial Relationship between you guys aren't partners anymore on this journey to creating the relationship that you want instead he's got his life and his Xbox and going to the toilet for two hours and You are doing your thing whatever that is and looking over at him going Why aren't you you know stepping up and doing what you're supposed to be doing anymore? And so my suggestion if you guys are in a committed relationship, which it sounds like you are is that instead of Focusing on what he's doing wrong you start focusing on how to connect with him in a better way Right and how to find ways to appreciate who he is and what he does and what he's about When you connect with him you actually connect with him you connect with him in a positive Powerful way, right? So when you're in a committed relationship things shift a little bit, right? and what ends up happening is You if you're actually committed, right? You guys are fully committed to each other What ends up happening is things come and it creates friction and problems and all kinds of different things And there's two different ways that you can handle things the first one is to sit down and have a serious talk Right and just be like hey What's going on and notice that you're you're playing Xbox all the time and you're spending two hours in the bathroom like You know are you are you all right? Like you used to come and connect with me and we you know hang out and have fun together and all this kind of stuff like it seems like you're you're like You know often this other land right now like what's going on right and actually Having a real conversation with them where you just talk to him without blaming him without shaming him without attacking him Without doing any of those things right and the other way to do this the other thing that you can do Is start making sure that you're fulfilling his needs, right? Because if you're fulfilling enough of his needs then what will end up happening is he'll start feeling addicted to you right and addicted to connecting to you and being with you and being around you and if you fulfill all of his needs and have a talk with him and he still like you know Doing often walla land and not doing anything and not stepping up and not connecting with you and and refusing to be a part of the Relationship you can't force him to decide that he will right and so what you have to do is is decide that that you are That the relationship that you want to have is far more important than Forcing this guy to be the guy that you want him to be and Once you do that the way that you start communicating and the way that you start living your life will completely change and you'll start pulling back and start creating your own identity in your own life and he'll start seeing that you're doing this and what most guys tend to do in this situation is start moving forward and being like okay, you know, we need to connect some more and all that kind of stuff and What some other guys might end up doing is just you know pulling away and deciding that they don't want to Actually be in that relationship and and either either one of those things is something that you need to become okay with right and Because once you're in that position if he's not, you know fully committed to the relationship and you guys aren't connecting and and he's Refusing to and you're you're making sure that you're connecting with him in all the ways that completely fulfill his needs You're making him feel incredibly amazing, right? You're making him feel like he's important and valuable and you're you're creating variety with each other and you're you know making him feel stable and and proud that he's with you and all those things right if you're taking care of all of his needs and And he's he Decides that he still doesn't want a part of it, which is usually pretty rare, right? like if if you're in a committed relationship and Like what ends up happening is people just pull apart and they pull apart Because they have conflicts because they have ideas about what's going on with the other person that aren't true Because they they create in their mind that this person is kind of the bad guy and I'm the good guy, right? And and and that's what's going on with both of you, right? But when you kind of let go of all that and you start having compassion for the other person And you start loving that person you start connecting with that person you start giving that person everything that that person needs Generally what tends to happen if you really are in a committed relationship is the person goes man I am so lucky to be with this woman and I want to be with her and I want to step up And I want to give her everything because she's giving me everything, right? A lot of women say I'm giving everything to this guy and he's taking me for granted But they're not giving the guy everything that he wants, right? Because usually the things that he wants aren't all the things that you're giving him You're giving him all the things that you think you should be giving him When instead you should be focusing on his needs, right? And usually a guy only needs a few things and once he has those needs covered He feels great and amazing and he's just like ah, you know, she's awesome But if you're not doing those things then then it's it's kind of difficult to Kind of reconcile things between the two of you. I hope that helps you out man All right, so let's see what else we have here long distance relationship earlier on in the relationship tips I'm making it work so far we click I have so many tips I have a video on I've couple live streams on how to do it I have a whole program called long distance allure, which you can get at commitment connection calm forward slash long dash Distance dash allure so you can go check that out. I mean I've got so much stuff on it I will I will be doing more live streams on this as well and it says ha ha ha. I literally do all those things Facebook user says why is it okay that they test us? I don't like it It feels like a weird superiority thing. The very idea makes me feel really bad. Well Yeah, it's it's not necessarily a good or bad thing when somebody tests you right? So it depends on the kind of test. So if you are It like everybody's testing everybody right because we can't like if I meet you I can't And I meet you know 300 other women How do I know which woman that I want to hang out with and spend my time with if you meet a hundred different guys How do you know which guy you want to hang out with and spend your time with? Well, you have even Subconsciously you have different tests that you do to find out right like is this guy honest Does this guy, you know, is he passionate about his life? Is he going after his goals? Does he communicate? Well, does he make me laugh, right? These are all subconscious tests that he has to that he has to pass in order for you to Decide that he is the kind of man that you want to be with another one might be that you You might test him to see if he cares about you or you might test him subconsciously to see if he's a strong man who's willing to you know Stick to his guns and stick to his ideas and and believe in what he believes in right and and if he passes those tests Then you allow yourself to fall deeper in love with him, right? And it's the same way with men men do the same thing right is she a gold digger, right? Is she trying to use me as she Having me in a as a as a placeholder in a relationship So she can tell all her friends that she's in a relationship Or does she actually care about me as a human being right is she trying to use my money, right? There's there's a whole bunch of different tests that we all have we all have them You know, there are other types of tests though, right like Jealousy tests for instance where you try to make somebody jealous and you see if they actually care about you Like those are the kind of tests that you should not put up with right there There are a whole bunch of different tests that guys might do to kind of Like push you past your boundaries or something like that where you do not want to accept those tests but everybody has tests right everybody does anybody who says that they don't is is They don't they might not really understand what testing is right or they might think of the tests Like I was talking about the one where you test for jealousy or something like that because that's you know What they've been told about tests, but everybody has tests right everybody tests each other, right? He might test to see if if you're if you guys are good together, right? he might test and take you to his friends and see how you interact with his friends and if you You know flirt with his friends he might be like, okay Well, she's not the kind of woman that I'd want to be in a relationship with because I don't want her Flirting with all my friends right so we all have tests right and that's not a bad test Right if he takes you and you meet his parents and you start making fun of his parents or attacking them or saying crazy things and peeing on the tv or you know, whatever other crazy things people do when they when they meet sorry that was my I I have a brother who did that one time Should I admit to that? I don't know. I have a brother that went and peed on um a tv at his girlfriend's parents house when I went and visited them but um God this is that's my family guys. This is my family. That's where I come from in case anybody's wondering All right, so Catherine says, okay, so how do you portray a high value woman? You do three things You believe in your value You position yourself in value and you communicate your value I talk about all three of those things and how to do them in my program the forever woman if you don't have it Go get it Go get the forever woman It gives you all the the basic details that you need Of making sure that a man sees your value and that a man chases after you and commits to you And wants the type of relationship that you want to have it make sure that you protect yourself So you don't get into bad situations and make sure that you are Uh, that that that you communicate your value and it gives you a way you can just listen to it over and over again And you will actually start believing in your value just by listening to it and it's a free program So I suggest you go get it. I think everybody should get it get it for free All right, Kathy says if a guy is interested in me, but I want to make sure They want to get married in the future. Is it too needy if I ask up front or just tell them that No, it's not too needy. What what you should do and I suggest that you do this on the first couple dates, right? It's not needy to find out what a person's looking for Right if you if you guys hang out and you connect and you enjoy each other, right and you have a good time You're like, wow, that was awesome Absolutely, you should and he he's trying to hang out with you again Right and he's trying to kiss you and he's trying to move things forward You absolutely should start having a conversation about what he's looking for and what you're looking for and and you know all that kind of stuff, right because if you don't know and he is Not looking for what you're looking for then you're going to end up getting into a situation, right? Like if you're in a situation marriage is a very important thing, right? If if you care about marriage and he absolutely is against marriage That is something that you need to find out Upfront that way you don't invest all your time and energy and emotion Into this guy fall in love with him And then you find out that he doesn't believe in marriage because you know all of his parents and great grandparents and Friends and cousins and uncles that every single one of them has gotten divorced and so he doesn't believe in it And he's gotten migtow or whatever and he's like, hey, you know what I'm not doing that, right? And you're like, okay. Well, how do I you know? And then you're going to come to me and you're going to be like, okay, Matt How do I get him to you know want marriage, right? And if you knew from the very beginning you wouldn't be in that situation From the very beginning because it's really really tough to try to force somebody to want marriage when they don't Right and instead what you should be doing Is following my system because what you do in my system is you create abundance, right? And you have guys coming to you and trying to convince you To commit to them and to have the relationship that you want They try to convince you of that that is what happens in the forever woman program Which is why you should absolutely get it get the forever woman program if you don't have it yet. All right so Hi and sin thumb says that's very true the moment someone start to prove himself is the moment I fly away I fly away huge red flag I'm gonna fly away Huge red flag. Okay. So Carrie says I don't understand how doing absolutely nothing After someone splits up with you helps I feel they will just start talking to other women then forget about you And that that if so he's not going to forget about you right like if you guys break up The only way carry that a guy is going to forget about you when you've broken up is if You had such a bad relationship that he was just like, oh my god I have to get away from this woman and Delete her from everything and never talk to her again for the rest of my life, right? That's one way the other way is if you guys had such a short Relationship that there wasn't a lot of emotion that was built up in the relationship Could he go out and seek another woman? Absolutely, he could right and that's okay Because what they found from studying this because there's been a lot of studies that have done been done on Getting your x-back and what happens in x-back situations or in breakups, right? What happens generally is there's this thing called a rebound, right? And what happens is the guy's like, oh all these emotional needs that I had with this person are now gone And I want to experience that stuff, right? and so they try to jump into another relationship and they do that And what what ends up happening is they try to make everything the same that it was in the last relationship they're in But the problem with that is that it doesn't work that way, right? Because this person is a completely new person and they have different values And they have different quirks and they have different things that they like and they hate and all kinds of different things And so rebound relationships tend to last very very tend to be very very short, right? And what ends up happening is then he comes back and he's like, man, you know, this is hard Right, I tried to get into another relationship and it didn't work, right? I tried to get on ask the women in our community about getting on these dating apps and online dating And how easy or hard it is, right even for them It's incredibly difficult and if it's incredibly difficult for a woman Then imagine how it is for a guy in fact for all the women out there Here's my suggestion My suggestion is that you pretend to be a guy for a day on an online dating site and build a profile Have a normal looking guy on there and try to be a guy for a couple days And try to talk to women on online dating websites because you or or on tinder or one of the dating apps or something You will learn a lot From doing that you will learn how difficult it is for a guy to meet up with a woman that he finds attractive to To match and then have a conversation, you know, it's it's difficult for both sides, right for the guy It's really difficult if unless he looks like brad pit, right? It's a really really difficult thing for him to do right if he does look like brad pit Then it's really really easy But if he doesn't if he's a normal looking guy Then what ends up happening is he will Uh message a few women and it'll be really really difficult Because none of them want to talk to him or a lot of them don't respond back or you know They're scammers or whatever and then what what he figures out is like spending a whole bunch of time crafting an email Doesn't work and so he'll spam out like a hundred different messages to different women And only like five of them will even respond to him and you know out of those five like you know four of them He didn't really even want to talk to what he just said screw it because he was you know Sending out a hundred different messages at the time, right? And then the one woman that he talks to will end up being Something that's completely not what he's looking for and so unless this guy is like a super player That you're dating the likelihood that he's just going to be jumping around and and you know hooking up with lots of women Now that he's free is like almost non-existent, especially in this day and age And so um, it's absolutely valuable to chill out give him some space Create some time and let him kind of work through his emotions and start to miss you Right that is way way way better Then jumping on him and trying to talk to him and trying to figure things out and Chasing him and trying to make things work when he's trying to run away Right, you don't want to try to make things work when he's running away You want You both to be coming together you want him chasing you you want him building the relationship that you want to have together Otherwise what's going to end up happening is if you do end up getting back into that situation It for a lot of women what ends up happening is they end up getting into a friend with benefits type situation ship Because they haven't really gone through what they're supposed to do to You know make sure that he's chasing And he's going after her and he's building that relationship and they don't ask the right questions They're just so happy that he's willing to take her back that she ends up hooking up with him. And then the next thing you know, he's like He's like, oh, I didn't want anything serious anymore You know, I just wanted to hook up right and then she's like devastated And you don't want to be in that situation right instead you want to give him some space Give him some time to let go to start to miss you to realize how difficult it is out there In the real world to get into a great relationship And then go, you know what what I had before was really awesome And then you want to connect with him in the right ways so that he Wants to be with you and connect with you and love you and be in a relationship with you Yeah, I hope that I hope that answered your question Carrie Mary says explain how You show your value without words well, there's a lot of different ways to show your value without words and It starts like I said with believing in your value right and the second one is positioning yourself in value Right, so those those are the first two right and you need to believe in your value because if you believe in your value You'll automatically start doing things that a high value person a person who believes that their high value would do Right, so I was talking to this woman the other day and she was telling me about how She keeps jumping from relationship to relationship to relationship, right and she keeps Hooking up with she wants marriage right she wants to get married She wants to have a family have kids all that all that kind of stuff white picket fence dog, right? She wants all that stuff, but she keeps getting into these friend with benefits Situationships where the guy's not looking for anything more than just a hookup a casual fling And then she stays with them for three to four months And then she realizes that she can't get him to do what she wants him to do And then she goes off and gets into another one right and it happens over and over and over again Well, she believed in her value She wouldn't get into those relationships those situationships those friend with benefits situations in the first place right because she would Be like no, I'm worth more than that I'm not gonna You know stoop down to these low standards and and get into these bad situations, right? And so what a high value woman does a woman that believes in her value what she does Is she positions herself so that men are chasing her right so that men are stepping up So that men are pursuing her guys that she meets that that don't want what she wants She's just letting them go and she's telling them. Hey, this is what I want If you want that too, that's great. And if you don't that's fine too But i'm not gonna hang out with you If you don't want the same thing that I want right and so She then has these other guys chasing after her and and she pushes the ones back Who aren't going to step up and the ones that are willing to step up come up and they start Creating the relationship that she wants and then she gets to pick and choose which guy she actually wants to be with That's what a woman who really believes in her value and positions herself in value That's how she behaves without communicating anything right? You don't have to say Any words when you're doing that because you're like, oh, you know, that's not that's not what i'm doing Right. I'm not doing that. Right. She she knows what she wants and she's not willing to get into a situation That's less than what she knows that she's worthy of having right the relationship that she knows that she deserves So, I mean I could answer that question in probably 15 different ways. So We will move on to the next one So now on this facebook user says please give some examples of positioning yourself and communicating Ourselves with value What does that look like? So I mentioned the standards thing, right? We talked about standards a little bit ago where you're like, you know I really like guys who act like gentlemen. I really you know, I really love it when you You know do this when you do that right and you're basically you're you're setting standards You're telling him preferences, right? Having preferences means that you have standards, right? If you're like, hey, I like You know this or I don't like that right that that is that is preferences That's what we mean by preferences and having preferences Raise you raises your value right because it says that I have standards. These are the things that I like These are the things that I don't like right? So that's one way to do it There's there's probably I don't know a dozen other ways to do it and so You know one of the things that I recommend again Is getting my program because I talk about how to connect with a man in a way that makes him see you As somebody who he believes is valuable, right? He's like wow. She's a she's a valuable woman. She's on my side She's the woman that uh, you know connects with me in my heart I don't know it's just I feel this emotion around her where I just want to grab her and kiss her and You know hold her and hug her and and you know Take her out and do things with her and show her a good time And make sure that she knows that she's loved and appreciated and cared for by me Right and so I teach all about how to do that in the forever woman program. I suggest you go and get that So anonymous facebook user says How do I how do you bring a conversation back from serious to fun? And flirty without it being awkward. Well So One I wouldn't overlay so there's something called a segway, right? I've I've actually Taught about communication like this because this is what I do But there's something called a segway, right? And so a segway is just a way to get into Another kind of conversation and I wouldn't worry about it being weird or awkward, right? I would just I would just segway into something else, right? And and all the there's a lot of different ways that you can do that one way is by saying anyway so anyway, you know like tell me something right and Basically, you're you're you're the anyway is saying we're switching conversations, right? We're switching The tone and topic of what we're of what's going on So anyway, you know, tell me what what were you doing earlier today? You know, so anyway, tell me, you know, you still haven't told me what your favorite color is, you know So anyway, you know, you you said you have a cat, but you haven't told me his name yet You know, like why don't you tell me his name, right? And or whatever, right? You can do that That's one way another way is just by asking questions Right and you can do it like the more you do it One of the things about communication is that there's a lot of nuance, right? So there's a lot of little things that you can do in communication That the only way that you can really get to that point where you understand and you can play with the nuance that you have is by Is by doing it over and over and over again, right? So so one of the ways that you can segue is by using questions So you you use a question and let's say that you guys were having a serious conversation you can Ask him a question that's like over the top and ridiculous, right? And usually that'll break the like break the tension that's going on, right? And so you you ask him a question That's in line with what you guys were just talking about But you make it something that's so ridiculous and so off the wall and so like Doesn't make any sense that it breaks the tension and all of a sudden you guys start laughing and then you're like, okay, you know and then you Go into some other conversation Some other questions some other kind of topic that you're into, right? That's that's another way that you can do it But like I said that requires nuance But just asking questions just changing the topic by asking questions Will will will change the tone, right? And if you ask a friendlier funner more interesting question, you know that can change the tone You can do it through like a pattern they call a pattern interrupt where you like You just do something, you know where you change Like the your environment, right? So if if you're sitting down and you're having a really serious conversation Or you're standing up and you're having a really serious conversation You'd be like, hey, let's go over to the living room or let's go over and sit in those chairs over there Or let's go play that game or you know, whatever, right? And you just change the environment, right? That changes that it creates a pattern interrupt Where all of a sudden you're shifting the focus and you're moving to something else And you're kind of metaphorically moving the conversation as well into a different arena and so Then you ask another question where you're like, okay, you know, so so you never told me, right like Tea tea or coffee, right? Or whatever, right? You can you can have any kind of question. You know, you never told me, you know What do you like better? hamburgers or pulled pork What do you like better? you know milk shakes or Cotton candy, you know, I don't know you can you can just play with it and make up things and just have fun with it And what you're doing, you know, whenever you're switching things is you're you're just you're just trying to Change, you know the kind of direction that things are going and so you can do it with questions You can do it with kind of like an anyway segue kind of thing You can do it with an actual physical movement. So those are the three things that i'm giving you right now I hope that answered your question there anonymous facebook user Mila ha says i'm mad. I love your video very much and learned a lot Well, thank you my ha I just imagine that you're singing When you're asking these questions Rachel says Matt you seem a little edgy this evening. Are you okay? Maybe I am maybe I'm not. I don't know Yeah, I'm doing good. I'm doing good. There's lots of crazy things going on in the world right now But I feel pretty good I feel pretty good In says my boyfriend loves me and so afraid to lose me But what bothered me is he wants most of all things on his terms How to make him willing to compromise on what I want in the relationship Well, he's a man Right, you're you're you're in a relationship with a man and he wants what he wants Right, which means that there's a dominance aspect to him right and if I were you I would just Talk to him about it right have a if you guys are in a real relationship I'd have a conversation with him about it and let him know You know communicate be like you look I love hanging out with you. I love spending time with you And here's something that I need You know and just basically set up a boundary that way and say and this is something that that you know I would really like And you know, don't make it vague or general though. You want it to be very very specific, right? Like let's say that I don't know what is what your situation is right or what you want, but let's say that you guys are Don't make up something too ridiculous Matt. Okay, so let's say that you guys are like um, you guys go to the gym and Let's say you guys go to restaurants and that you really like sushi But he takes you to a burger restaurant every time you guys go out, right? What you could do is you could say hey Jim let's imagine his name is Jim. Hey Jim Like I really love going out to restaurants with you. It's so much fun And I it's like I just absolutely love it and you know, it's it's it'd be really awesome if We could go to like a sushi restaurant Sometime and I know it's not one of your favorite foods But but I love sushi and I miss it so much and it would make me feel So loved and cared for if we went to a sushi restaurant one time Do you think we could go to a sushi restaurant sometime together? Right and basically what you're doing is you're setting up A boundary right and you're saying hey, this is something that's important to me And it would make me feel this way, you know, is this something that we can do right and so you're asking him And you know, you're not you're not belittling him. You're not telling him he's wrong You're not shaming him. You're telling him you love hanging out with them and going to these places And that this would make you feel really loved and cared for and all those things that he wants you to feel Right and then you ask him if if he'd be willing to do that and then he will Have a conversation with you or say yes, right? That's that's usually what will end up happening So I hope that helped Mandy says hi matt. How can I stop trying to impress a guy? Sometimes I find myself wanting to do something for them. Even though I know it's their job to impress me. We'll stop it Mandy Mandy best stop it You stop it right now. You just Mandy you got to stop it. Okay Okay, when you're thinking about it. Here's what you do. You stop it You stop it immediately And you don't do it anymore. Just stop it Stop it. Mandy stop it I hope that I hope that answered your question so right now we're living in a time when Uh, you know life is crazy right now. We live in the hookup culture You know men are being pushed to be more feminine women are being pushed to be more masculine We, uh, live in a time where people where the mainstream media and our culture is pushing Superficial casual hookup type of Situationships as if that's normal behavior and So a lot of women are really frustrated because they have a lot of guys that are pulling away from them They're not sure what to do. They're not sure how to handle it. They're not sure how to communicate with the guy And so one of the things that I found I've been in the dating industry since 2005 and I've seen everything since then and Uh, one of the things that I've what I figured out is that there's really almost every woman that I meet There's three things it's one at least one of three different things that they need to do in order to Change their situation around and get into a situation where they're loved and seen and cherished by a guy The first one is believing in their own value And so we talked about that in this video The second one is positioning yourself in value. We talked about that as well and the third one is communicating The value that you have right connecting with a man in a way that a woman who believes in her value Would communicate with a man And if you're really really serious about getting into a great relationship or turning things around a lot of women have used This formula to turn around their marriages turn around relationships that they're in and create relationships where they're absolutely loved and seen and cherished by the men they're with And if you want to do that make sure that you check out the forever woman formula dot com You can watch the video on that page And then sign up for the program for free and if you decide you want to be a part of the program Part of our community long term you can you know stay a part of our community and there's a fee for that So thank you so much for being here with me We have some of the most amazing beautiful and absolutely awesome women who are part of our community So thank you so much for being here with us today Fred also says thank you. Thank you for being here. He's blossoming I didn't know fred blossom, but apparently he does. So thank you so much for being here I appreciate it. I appreciate and i'm honored to Uh for you to trust me to be a part of your journey and helping you get into the relationship that you've always wanted to have So thank you so much I gotta get going. I gotta I gotta water fred. Fred needs some water. It's been two weeks. I think I don't know. Maybe it has maybe it hasn't I don't know anymore, but I gotta get going So thank you so much for being here and I will speak with you again soon and always remember You are worth it