 Today we're gonna talk about the emotionally unavailable man. Now, when we talk about emotional availability, I think it's important to really dive into intimacy. And intimacy is into me you see. I'm gonna repeat that. Into me you see. Do you see me? Do you see my soul? Do you see my spirit? Do you see who I am as a person? That's really what emotional intimacy is all about. And yet today, unlike any other time in history, we as humans are experiencing artificial intimacy. That's right, artificial intimacy. In fact, there was an article I read in Psychology Today about artificial intimacy. And I wanted to lean into that to get deeper into this conversation. So give me a moment to read this to everyone. It said, when COVID-19 pandemic sent so many people into work from home isolation, it funneled much of our social interactions onto the internet. Children learn via Zoom classrooms, colleagues met on Microsoft Teams and we buy almost everything online. Think about it. Do you buy everything online? I know I do. And friendships unfold on Facebook, Instagram, FaceTime, WhatsApp. And the once quarantine started, and once quarantine started following there was house party. The need to socialize by app inadvertently hastened the dawning of a new age, the age of artificial intimacy. So why I wanna talk about this today because I'm gonna share based on my observations, I believe over 50% of women find themselves in a relationship that's either a cyber relationship or it's almost a non-existent relationship. And what I mean to say is there is so much communicating via our smartphones, via text messaging. And in some cases, I've talked to women who have never, they've been communicating with someone for years whom they've never met, they've never FaceTime. It's only text messaging. And even on those occasions where they have met someone, most of their dialogue is via text messaging and it isn't in person. And I made a note here. I wanna share something, artificial intimacy has skewed what true intimacy is, is about. And more importantly, what about being in a day-to-day relationship with someone who's emotionally unavailable? So here's the thing, I wanted to put in a box for a moment the artificial intimacy that I believe over 50% of women who are single, looking for love in the over 40 category are experiencing. These include the long distance relationships because it inherently, because there's no face-to-face time, it's difficult to build intimacy. But what about those people that you do see day-to-day? What's happening there when it comes to intimacy and emotional availability? So here's a question I want everybody to ask themselves. I'm gonna repeat this. So I want anyone to, this begs the question. If you find yourself, well, let me preface this first. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who's either emotionally constipated, emotionally unavailable, unable to truly create intimacy with you. Remember I said in the beginning, intimacy is into me you see. It begs the question, why am I attracted to the emotionally unavailable man? I wanna repeat that. Everyone write this down, even if you have to pause this. Why am I attracted to the emotionally unavailable man? And the next question to ask yourself, what part of me is emotionally unavailable or worse, what part of me is willing to accept a relationship that doesn't fill my needs? What part of me is willing to accept a relationship that doesn't fill my needs? See, here we got two forces going on. We have, you know, it's interesting. We are now more connected to human beings more than ever before because of our devices. For those of us who are baby boomers or Gen X, do you remember the time when you didn't even have an answering machine? Do you remember when you had a rotary dial phone? Do you remember that when you have to wait for a telephone call to connect with someone? You know, and then you got a pager so somebody could page you. And then you had one of those calling cards. So if you need to call someone, you'd run to a phone booth. Does anyone remember phone booths? And you dial someone. And now we find ourselves attached to our smartphones connected all the time, connected through social media, whether it's Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, even. Well, YouTube's a great place to learn things. So I don't put YouTube in the social media category. But we're connected with people. And yet are we really feeling a sense of fulfillment? So a byproduct of COVID created this dynamic more so than ever before. And I think what's happened since then is there's even a lack of intimacy in relationships. See, the problem is most humans don't know how to build intimacy in a relationship. Most humans don't know how to properly communicate their feelings. And when I said earlier, women might agree to relationships that are unfulfilled is because oftentimes they don't believe they can get anything better. See, there's a distressing lack of self-worth here in the United States and all around the world. You know, we are suffering from, let me say this, let me say it differently. Dating triggers the number one emotional health issue most everybody is faced with is I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. In fact, it's the reason why I wrote my book. Folks that know my book, what the heck is self-love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. You know, when we are suffering on the inside we will accept relationships that lack true intimacy. So how do you build intimacy with someone? Because you can only ask the question, why are you attracted to an emotionally unavailable man? That's a question for yourself. I believe it's based on the fact that most people would rather have a mediocre relationship than no relationship whatsoever. Does that feel true for any of you? I've noticed this to be true for many people. So, how do we build intimacy? Folks, it requires going deeper than the surface. It requires starting by leading by example by actually expressing your feelings to someone. This is what I talk about being vulnerable, being authentic, being transparent. Laying your cards on the table very early on in the dating process. What does that look like? That means talking about your past relationships because if you're meeting a total stranger you know nothing about them and so you have to unpack their past to get a sense of who they are today. And then establishing your standards, that's what I call the rules of engagement. How do you build intimacy? Starts by asking deeper questions. If you're not familiar with the book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters, I highly recommend checking this out. This will give you a sense of what is emotional intimacy because the fact is is most men, they might be emotionally constipated and constipated means they're bottled up. Doesn't mean that they're incapable of it. It means they're bottled up. They need someone to help draw it out of them. And ladies, you are the best container for that to happen. We don't get that from our male friends. Folks, you might know that I lost a child. And that was probably after losing my son, my closest friends and I had probably the most intense intimate conversations of our lives. And then we'd known each other for 50 years. And it took losing a child to open us up to actually start talking about our feelings with one another. Don't wait to have some traumatic event happen, especially in relationships, start from the very beginning. Start from the very beginning. So what's it going to take? I'm gonna tell you in a second. I kind of turn on the air here. It's quite hot in here. So what's it gonna take? Here's the thing. Relationships today require spending as much time together in a relatively short period of time. That's right, as much time together in a relatively short period of time. Why is this? Because the reality is to get to know someone you have to invest a lot of time together. But doing it in a very long drawn out way, this way where you get some occasional companionship, you get some occasional connection, you get some occasional sex is a very weak way of getting to know someone. And what is happening today is people are actively dating multiple people at the same time and they're not giving one person a chance to actually get to know them. I think when two people decide to be physically intimate with one another, that's the time to at least declare that you're monogamous with one another and that you're not actively gonna be in the dating marketplace. Number one, I mean one and two, I should say. And number three, spend a significant amount of time together. But Jonathan, I only have time for one day a week for someone. Well, I want you to think about it. If you only have time for one day a week, 52 days in a course of a year, you might not really know who this person is because there's roughly, let's see, there's roughly 300 other days you're not together. But we talk on the phone and we text all the time. That is artificial intimacy. It's not real intimacy. How does intimacy get built, folks? It happens through social activities. It happens through hobbies. It happens through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests. It happens through spending time with family and friends. It requires spending a significant amount of time together and not because a part-time dating experience usually, what happens with a part-time job? You quit that job to go find a full-time job somewhere else and men will leave you. They'll take all the goodies. They'll take all the goodies you give them. There was someone posted, why give wife gifts or duties at girlfriend prices? Folks, men will spend minimal amount of time for you to get all the benefits from it, but that doesn't mean that they'll commit to you. A man will commit when he invests a significant amount of time with you when the two of you are spending a significant amount of time together. Is this sinking in? I hope it is because that's where intimacy is built and intimacy is built. Emotional availability is built in the communicating of your feelings. And I don't mean how you feel about the relationship. I'm talking about the feelings of life. It's not about the doing. It's about the feeling, asking those questions. Not how was your day at work? Ask the question, how did it feel today at work? How did it feel driving home? How does it feel that your child wasn't able to see you this weekend? How did that feel? Ask feeling questions if you want to evoke emotional availability from someone and anyone who rejects it is probably not someone who's capable and we are swimming in a sea of human beings who are constipated because they have childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes it almost virtually impossible for them to go any deeper than just the surface relationship. How was your day going? Did you have a good day? Most of you know my rhetoric. All right, why are you attracted to emotionally-emailable men? Many of you would rather settle for a mediocre relationship than no relationship at all. That's the why. But I invite you to ask yourself, why are you attracted to an emotionally-emailable man? What part of you is emotionally unavailable and why are you willing to accept a relationship that doesn't meet your needs? Now again, listen, if you're in a situation where you require codependency and what I mean to say is you are dependent upon someone else financially most likely, well then there's a trade-off. You might have to trade that off, emotional intimacy. But I don't believe that most of you need a man to take care of you. You want a partnership in life and it starts from the very beginning. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Please post a comment below. If you like what I had to share, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and check out all the links below if you wanna schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, I'm gonna take questions now. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question thereafter. Or you can purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. All of the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes into a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. He's Woody right there. He's my son who passed away almost five years ago. Actually coming up on his birthday right now. And his honor we donate to causes like the Hoffman Process and Insight Institute, just to name a few. And if you're watching the replay, simply hit the super thanks. Okay, I saw a question in here earlier. So bear with me. Bear with me. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Sharon says, what are your thoughts on younger man older woman relationship? So I have a couple thoughts on this. So depends on the younger man. So if we're talking a 45 year old woman with a 27 year old man, a 31 year old man, I think for the man they like the idea of being with an older woman, she's more mature. She's more apt to have sex. She's less likely to get pregnant. So for men that are in their 20s and 30s when they're seeing women their own age, they have to worry about pregnancy. They have to worry about their lack of emotional maturity. The problem is with younger men, they have a built in exit clause. Have a built in exit clause. You're 45 years old, he's 27 years old. You've been seeing him for a couple of years. You have great sex together, you have a good time. And then he says, I need to break up with you, because I wanna be with someone I can have children with. See a guy in his 20s might not be thinking of children. A guy in his early 30s might not be thinking of children. By the time he's 35, maybe he might start thinking that. But that's his exit clause. And keep in mind, a guy can have this exit clause well up until 40, 45 years old. He can say, I've decided to have children with someone younger. See for a man, that's not a big issue. The age, but it certainly can be for a woman. So with that said, that's just one dilemma faced with younger men. Now with that said, if you're a 62 year old woman with a 52 year old guy, go for it. Probably he's not gonna pull that card on you. If he genuinely is interested in you, I would say, then go for it. But I would be careful if you're 45 dating a 27 year old. That's just my two cents on that one. So thank you so much for that. All right, let's keep swimming here. Oh, KS says, I agree with Jonathan. There was a man I was interested in and he always texted me. I told him we need to talk by phone before we went out. When texting, you don't get a tone and inflection and exactly, and by the way, late folks, the first telephone call is the first date. Remember that. All right, let's keep going here. Let's see if we have some questions. Stephanie has a question. Why is it that a man and woman who are opposites attract one another? You know, what does it mean to be opposite? If you're a morning person, I'm a night person. If you are someone likes a messy hat with someone's okay with a messy house, someone's okay with a clean house. What is opposite? Now, why do anxious people get attracted to avoidant personalities? Well, that's a great question you might wanna ask because that's certainly an opposite. This is where you might wanna read two books. The first book is called Attached by Amira Levine and Rachel Heller to understand anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles. The next book you might wanna consider reading is Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. This talks about something called the Amago. I am A-G-O, by the way, all the books I recommend are in the link below. The Amago means mirror or familiar, and we oftentimes choose partners that are familiar to one or both of our parents, the trauma we experienced, my interpretation is we're trying to get our parents' love and we choose people who are unlike us, unlike us who someone's emotionally available because we have an emotionally unavailable father or mother. So that's just some of my thoughts, but think of what does opposite really mean? I'm not sure I'd really focus on that. I think I'd rather focus on where are we aligned with one another, find where you're aligned with one another, aligned, aligned, aligned, okay? Ah, let's see. Sheila says, question. If on the first few dates, he, shy guy, wants her to plan dates and times, is he going to be a low effort guy or is he in his feminine in his mid fifties? Well, okay, I don't like the characterization he's in as feminine, okay? So maybe he's shy. Maybe he's insecure. Maybe he wants to make you happy. Rather than judging his behavior, and I understand low effort guy, but some men feel uncomfortable making plans. I know I sometimes feel uncomfortable because I remember having a mother growing up, I couldn't do anything right. Oh my God, if I did this, it was wrong. If I did this, it was wrong. And keep in mind, this is my female, primary female figure in my life. I couldn't make happy. Sure enough, that happened later on in my life as well. I chose women who I couldn't seem to make happy. I began becoming gun shy, not making plans because didn't seem like whatever I did was right. I mean, that's my shame and judgment and my fears that I had. Certainly that took time for me to overcome those. But just, you know, rather than saying he's in his feminine or low effort, you have to ask yourself, do you like this person? Do we get along well? Does it really matter if I make a plan or two? Now, if he makes zero plans whatsoever, yeah, that probably could be problematic. But I like two people being co-creators of their relationship and they're both mutually investing. Is that sinking in? All right, I hope so, Sheila. Thanks so much. Midnight Blue says, yes, it's sinking in. Good to hear that. Okay. Jennifer says, successful financially driven men want women to give their power away, cater to their ego and many are emotionally unavailable. Is it a trade-off? Okay, that's a great question. Some people trade financial security and they give up emotional intimacy. That's a trade-off. If you don't need someone financially, I don't think it's worth the trade-off, okay? But for some people, it is a necessity, okay? Where I'm more of a proponent is to show up being able to take care of yourself, okay, first and foremost, being able to take care of yourself, show up intentional in the process, show up with good character, show up with a sense of fun and play, show up with a sense of emotional maturity and relationship skills and find people who are aligned to who you are. Look at the dating process is a pain in the ass. There's no doubt about it. You know, our current, again, artificial intimacy, we have a paradox of choice. You know, there's this perceived choice through our apps. There's all this perceived choice. Think about perceived choice, not real choice, just the idea and folks, I can tell you, I got addicted to swiping. Even, you know, even six months after Marie and I began our relationship and we're coming up on a year in nine days, I can tell you, I was having withdrawals, that dopamine hit of someone liked me, someone liked me, someone, I mean, if they swiped as well. Sometimes some people just swipe right just to see who did swipe right with them. That's an addictive thing, but it's all perceived choice. The reality is, is we have so far few choices because we're not out in the real world meeting people organically. I'm here to suggest it is time to shift this narrative and while I'm still over 50, 60% of relationships happen through an online connection, that's how I met my sweetheart. The reality is, is these days we have to make more and more of an effort to meet someone in the real world. My son actually just met someone in the complex he lives in and they go to the pool and hang out together and I'm excited for him. Met someone in the real world, didn't have to do long distance. You don't need to text someone who lives a block away. So anyway, that's just my two cents on that. Hope that helps. All right, I wanna see, can't even pronounce what this is. Question, why do I always push away the guys who actually seem interested in me? Well, that's a psychological exploration for yourself. That's an introspective exploration for yourself. You have to ask yourself, why do you push away good people? Because there's a fear, there's an insecurity going on within yourself. If you're not familiar with the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process, this is a deep dive into healing, childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that cause us not to love ourselves. It causes us to have negative patterns that are limiting beliefs in our life. I invite you to invest the $17 for this book and spend the next three months doing a deep dive into answering that question for yourself. And what you're gonna find is that it's deeply rooted in something that happened in your childhood. So my hope is, and I can't even pronounce, can anyone, that's not a name, okay? But my hope is you do some introspective work, okay? Barbara, question. Best friends for six months fool around once drunk. He told me he had sex with his on-off one and a half year toxic ex-girlfriend and now he's behaving cold, disrespectful, pushing me away. Talk to him, walk away or wait. Well, I always, I'm a big proponent of talking. It's best, you're good friends, you fooled around, you got drunk. He has his situation of having sex with a toxic ex and behaving cold because he's most likely dysfunctional in some capacity. He's dysfunctional in some capacity and he is wounded and he hasn't healed those wounds. So in your particular case, do you want to invest in a fixer-upper? And guess what? What happens when you invest in a fixer-upper? The minute they're fixed, they go find someone else to be a bright shiny penny with. That's just my two cents on that one. Hey, I wanna thank Cito Ward. Are you taking questions later? Thank you for the $4.99 super sticker. Absolutely taking questions and I'll try to find yours if you post it. All right, let's keep going. Here we go. Here's your question. I'm 48 and he's 55. We're both divorced and in a committed relationship leading the marriage, been together a year and a half. He loves me, but he can't say it, not to me and not even to his kids. So what does I love you mean? I love you. Here's what it means to me. I'm here. You matter. We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. I'm here means I'm present. You matter means that your life matters to me. We are important is that the relationship is important to me. I've got your back. That means we're teammates in here in this relationship. I'm not going anywhere. Means I'm fully committed to this relationship and I only want you. Means I only wanna have sex with you, okay? But for some people it means something deeper than that. It's a promise for the future. I think people that have a challenge saying I love you, I truly wonder if the two of you are gonna get married or it's just a wonder of mine or he was so deeply wounded in his childhood that I love you is almost a painful set of words. Maybe he was traumatized by someone he loved. Maybe someone said I loved you and beat the crap out of him. And for some people that can be a true experience where they can't say the words because it's so painful for them for what they experience in love. So my question for you, you're in a committed relationship, it's leading to marriage. Has he healed from his past relationships? Has he healed from his childhood wounds? Because someone who is incapable of saying I love you and I'm sure it's deeply rooted in more than what I've just outlined. It's something you either have to accept because for some people also, there's another aspect of this you have to consider. Check out the book, The Five Love Languages. The Five Love Languages because his love language might not be words, it might be actions, it might be acts of service, it might be gifts. So some people, the words are challenging for them but they show love in other ways as well. So I would invest in the book, The Five Love Languages, check out the link below to get a copy of it. All right, hope that helped and thank you so much. Oh, you have part two question but he's wonderful to me and my kids otherwise. Okay, I think you got the gist of what I shared. I hope that helped. All right, let's keep going here. Zoe Smith says, question, are there any signs that the man gives off that demonstrate not just emotional intelligence but social intelligence as well? Well, that doesn't have social intelligence. You know, I know people that are socially awkward like Aspergers, they struggle internally. I'm not an expert in that area of behavior. I think what you have to ask yourself, I suspect there's somebody that you're interested in that might be so, I'm assuming based on what you wrote socially awkward, not just emotional but are there any signs that the man gives off that demonstrates? Oh, okay, that demonstrates emotional intelligence. I think one of the most important things someone says to demonstrate emotional intelligence first and foremost is their capacity to be a good listener. I think that's a great and not just listening but acknowledging what someone says and especially if there's disagreements not getting in the power struggles. I think that's one of the fundamental principles of emotional maturity is to have empathy, true empathy, also transparency. If it's material to the relationship then it's important to convey what's going on if it's material, sadly, here's the problem. In the dating marketplace, it's a very self-centric marketplace. It's people that are only out for their own needs and not really caring that their actions might affect someone else. That's a sign of emotional maturity that you actually care about the other person's feelings as much as your own. So I don't know exactly what your question is, Zoe, but I hope that kind of gave you an outline of what I thought on that. All right, Kimmy writes, question. I'm in a six-month relationship. It only lasts a minute in bed. I don't get pleasure and he makes no arrangement for me to get pleasure. What's the issue? This man probably isn't a very good lover. He has premature ejaculation. So have you expressed your disappointment in the bedroom? I think now when I say disappointment, I'm using the term disappointment because I'm getting a century disappointed, but in a loving way, can you express your feelings that you'd be upfront? His sweetheart, I love our relationship. I love everything about it. I don't feel that you care about pleasuring me in the bedroom. That's how I feel. It might have a conversation, talk about this. Couples should talk about the things that bring them pleasure. And if someone is only getting off for their own needs, that to me is a very selfish lover. And listen, some men, listen, we have to accept it for those of us in midlife that the equipment doesn't work the way we wished. I mean, that's just a reality. Now, some people can use a blue pills. There's other types of remedies as well. Certainly learning oral techniques would be beneficial for any man to learn oral techniques and be proficient at that. And certainly practicing stamina so they don't prematurely ejaculate, certainly can be. But I would have a conversation and see how he reacts. Because if you're not, and again, if this is something you're willing to compromise because there's greater good in the relationship, but have a conversation. So here's a question. If your partner doesn't satisfy you in the bedroom and you love each other, should you be allowed to sleep with other people? I'm not saying I'm agreeing with it, I'm just asking it as a question. What if your partner no longer wants to have sex with you? Should you be allowed to sleep with other people to get that gratification? You know, I think two people can make any agreements they want. So I'd rather work on the relationship and see if you can mend it there. So Kimmy, I hope that helps. SW1 says, if a guy ghosted you and responded that he went to jail, should one want to hear his reason why face to face or leave well enough alone asking for a friend for real? Well, first off, if he ghosted you, okay, so he ghosted you and then later said he went to jail. Well, I guess the question is jail is not prison, so there's a big difference. If someone had gotten a DUI and got incarcerated for a brief period of time, I guess it would depend on the why. But if this is something more than a week, he went to jail right afterwards, I'd want to know the why. And then from there, you can make an informed decision, but I'd be curious. I'd just be for curious sakes. I want to know SW, will you write me? Because I want to know why. So ask your friend to find out why. And then you make an informed decision after that. Suzette says, why do men always come back after a breakup even years later? Great question. So I'm always reminded of a story that I share or an experience I had. And that is my son, when he was 14 years old, he wanted to get the newest Halo game and it was coming out at midnight at fast five, or at least all the stores launched at midnight. So we wait in line, he was all excited. He got his new Halo game. He played it, played it, played it. And a few months later, I get a call saying, hey dad, will you take me to the store at midnight? There was a game called Duke Nukem that came out. And wait in line. And while we're in line, I go, what did you do with the other game that you were so hyped on? He goes, I just got tired of that game. Okay, a few months later, I come back to the house, I go visit him at his mom's house and I see he's playing Halo. I said, I thought you got tired of Halo. He goes, it was on the shelf. It was easy to take it down, put it in the Xbox and play the game. See, when somebody has had you once, there's this perceived that, especially if they broke up with you, that you want them all the time. And so that you can simply go back, knock on the door, reach on the shelf and put it inside the Xbox. That's the why, okay? Because they think you're easy. They think you are low hanging fruit. They think that they don't look in the mirror and own what may have caused the breakup. Now that's one thing to come back and say, look, I've had time to heal. I went through a lot of stuff and I really appreciate our relationship. But a lot of guys come back because they think you're low hanging fruit. That's the why. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying that's the why. Okay, Janet or Suzette, hope that helps. All right. Sheila writes, how do you comment on these lives without using your full name? I don't know, you'd have to change your YouTube settings. Okay, Kelly says, good information. It's crazy out there these days. Well, thank you so much, Kelly. Sharon says to the woman, use a vibrator. I think relationships deserve more than a vibrator. Wanda writes, question, if I start getting feelings for a friend, should I ask him how he feels about us or should I just not say anything? What do you got to lose? I'm all, listen, if you like someone, express it and then see what happens. Shelly writes, my ex has broken up with me two times. He's an avoid, has avoidant tendency. He commits to a relationship and then leads. He always comes back eventually. What can I do to stop this cycle? I think you stop the cycle by not going back to him. You just, you stop the cycle, not stop him from the cycle, you stop the cycle. That's one option. I think you've got to get to the root of why the endings, what is the cause of the endings? I think if you have a significant conversation, you have to determine, are the two of you even a fit for one another? Because you can end the cycle but not engaging, okay? You can end the cycle but not engaging, but you can also have a deep heart-centered conversation about what's really going on that causes the endings. Most likely he has childhood wounds or adult traumas that makes him fearful for love. That's the primary reason why. So then you've got to ask yourself, what's the purpose of this relationship? Is it just companionship, connection, and sex? Or are we forging something that's going to be partnership for one another? That's my two cents anyways. Sharon goes on to say, oh my God, I love Duke Nukem. There you go. All right. Hey, you know what? Vibrators are good to use together. Yes, indeed. He bought me one. Okay, got it. Okay. You know, folks, I'm getting ready to take off on a flight. I'm heading off to Florida to go see my sweetheart. We're visiting her family this weekend. There's a family gathering. I get to meet all her primas. Did anyone know what primas mean? And I hope you found value in this. You know, the real issue today in relationships, there's a lack of intentionality in the dating process. There's a lack of real commitment to what do you really want in relationship? What do you really want? Many of you are struggling with that answer. And I'm here to say it's one of the things I work with clients. So look, right here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. I just got off the phone this morning with a client who's now, they're talking about moving in together. And not now, but within the next six months and they're taking a trip together. I mean, all of her relationship experiences is mirroring what my relationship experience has been. We do social activities. We do hobbies, or she does social activities, hobbies, they travel together. They've integrated each other into their lives. That is how you forge a fully committed long-term partnership with one another when you integrate each other into your lives. And that requires intentionality. And yet many of you who follow me are very passive at this approach. So if you want a big brother out there for you, reach out to me and schedule a call. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic John the Merrick of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Shelly and Alayna and Sheila and Nancy and Rosita and Kimmy and Prep Like a Gypsy and Jennifer and Wanda and Shelly and Sharon and Jen. All right, everyone, thanks so much. Have a fab evening. Bye now.