 Today we're going to be looking at Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32. Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32. So I'll read those two verses to you, give you an introduction, and we'll get into our study today. The topic will be on divorce, and we find that here in verses 31 and 32 of Matthew chapter 5. So in Matthew 5 31, Jesus said, Furthermore, it has been said whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason, except sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Now Jesus has just spoken concerning the sin of adultery, and as we went through the verses that pertain to that, He made it clear that adultery was not the action alone, the action of sexual intercourse with somebody you're not married to, another man's wife. He made it clear that adultery was not the action alone, but it is really the intent of the heart. Jesus is dealing with the teachings of the Pharisees, the Pharisees seem to emphasize external behaviors. We already saw that with murder, we saw that with adultery, we'll also see that here on the topic of divorce. But Jesus wanted to go deeper than the external teachings, it's not enough that you encourage certain people to behave in a certain way. There has to be something motivating you to behave in a certain way, and so Jesus spoke concerning the intents of the heart. Now he does this quite often, for example on one occasion, he was disputing with these religious leaders, they're called Pharisees, concerning one of their traditional teachings. The Pharisees had taught their followers to follow certain rituals that related to the washing of their hands. And the Pharisees and other Jews would not eat unless they washed their hands in a certain ritualistic way, and Jesus disagreed with their reasoning concerning this tradition. And as he was debating with them, actually instructing them, he even referred to them in a very unflattering way, he referred to them as hypocrites, and he told them that they ignored God's commands in order that they might hold fast to their traditions. And so there were crowds that were around when Jesus was speaking, and as the crowds were listening to him, he said that nothing entering a man will defile that man. Well his apostles became confused about what he was saying, and so later on they had the luxury of asking him, questioning him about what he said, and in response it's found in Mark 7, 20 through 23. Jesus responding to the question said, what comes out of a man, that defiles a man, for from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murderers, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, and evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness, all these evil things come from within and defile a man. So Jesus is declaring what would normally be seen as obvious, that man by nature is intrinsically sinful. We sin because we have a nature that is sinful. We don't become sinners when we sin. We sin because we're sinners. In Psalm 51 verse 5, the psalmist said it like this, surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Paul when he was writing to the Romans in chapter 5 verse 12 said, when Adam sinned, sin entered the entire human race. Adam sinned brought death. So death spread to everyone for everyone sinned. In Ephesians 2 verse 3, all of us used to live that way following the passions and desires of our evil nature. We were born with an evil nature and we were under God's anger just like everyone else. Well, the fact is today it is very popular to teach and to believe, to hold fast to a belief that we are intrinsically good. But that begs the question, then where did evil come from? The fact is evil is a product of my evil nature. It's called a fallen nature, a sin nature. And so Jesus is simply declaring what would normally be seen as obvious. So with this in mind, he would be saying that the things he is addressing are simply what we would today refer to as outworkings of our sinful flesh. Murder and adultery originate in the heart. The remedy Jesus gave was to deal with it and to do so ruthlessly because the result will be eternal judgment. We saw that in verse 29 when he closes by saying, then for your whole body to be cast into hell. We saw that in verse 30, once again, then for your whole body to be cast into hell. And so the result of immorality, the result of their sin nature that's unredeemed will always be judgment. And there's a warning that we're given in Scripture concerning sexual immorality. You see it all through the Bible. One of the interesting passages that speaks concerning the ramifications of that is found in Proverbs 5, 3 through 5, where the writer said the lips of an immoral woman drip honey. Her mouth is smoother than oil, but in the end she's bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps lay hold of hell. And so you find warnings throughout Scripture concerning a lifestyle of immorality. There is eternal repercussion for it. So as he's been speaking, he spoke concerning murder. He speaks concerning adultery. So now in Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32, he speaks on divorce because adultery very often leads to divorce. Now I was wondering what the most common reasons for divorce are. And so I consulted the Almighty Google and I looked up reasons for people obtaining divorce. I was interested in what the reasons might be and found a particular page that had statistics where they actually had the percentages related to reasons for divorce in the top 10 that you can find taken place here in the United States. And so as I was looking at this, I found it interesting how people are filing for divorce for so many different reasons. Some come to see that they are very unlike in their priorities and their expectations about marriage and so they divorce. Some deal with addictions that cause a mate to grow tired or unwilling to continue in that marriage. They get a divorce. Some have major differences when it comes to raising children. You see this especially in blended families. Other reasons include religious issues, cultural differences, boredom in marriage, sexual dissatisfaction, financial strain, physical or emotional abuse, and a breakdown in communication. Well, they say we just don't understand one another or we've outgrown, we've gotten different. The number one reason for divorce is marital infidelity. In the United States, 17% of all divorces are due to adultery on the part of either or both the parties. What was ironic as I was researching this is that medical fields with the highest divorce rate are rather psychiatrists and marriage counselors. Isn't that interesting? Well, in this portion of his sermon, Jesus is teaching about divorce and remarriage. This isn't the only place that Jesus addresses it. We'll see this once again in chapter 19. But today I'm going to look at verses 31 and 32 here in Matthew chapter 5. Now in our day, divorces are often seen as a normal process of eliminating marital pain or problems in a marriage. Often divorce is presented as the best or even the only option in very difficult situations. But somebody once said divorces always a tragedy, no matter how civilized the handling of it may be. It is always a confession of human failure, even when it is the better of sorry alternatives. One of the things about divorce that sometimes isn't really thoroughly considered is simply the painfulness of the divorce itself. You see, in the United States approximately one million divorces are granted a year. So for every one million divorces, there are two million adults that are divorcing. But not only are there couples who are being affected by the divorce, but you have grandparents and you have aunts and uncles. You have friends that suffer when it occurs. And every one of those involved in divorces suffer, but very often the children are the ones who suffer the most. And the ones of the children that suffers the most in divorce is the little boys. So it's very destructive, not just for the man and the woman, but for all who might be involved in one form or another with that divorce. It's interesting, in our nation's early history, up until the first half of the 20th century, divorces were rare. I looked up U.S. statistics of divorce in the United States and found that in 1900, there were 709,000 marriages recorded and 55,571 divorces. In 1930, there were 1,126,856 marriages recorded and 195,961 divorces recorded. In 1950, there were 1,667,231 marriages and 385,144 divorces. In 1998, there were 2,256,000 marriages and 1,135,000 divorces. In 2009, there were 2,080,000 marriages and 840,000 divorces. There's a reduction of divorces, you might note, but that's due to an increased rate of people simply living together and not getting married. Now, at one time, various cultural and religious forces combined to define as well as to keep families together. There was the encouragement of immediate family. The couple had parents and relatives that would encourage them to remain married. It's interesting to note that the lowest rate of divorce is 3%, and that 3% represents those who are divorcing, who are part of arranged marriages. You see, the family kept them together, and even to this day, in arranged marriages, the family has a strong influence on the people who are being married. They had the parents, they had the relatives, they had that encouragement to make it. Secondly, there was the encouragement of their community. The community had certain expectations concerning marriage. Expectations and the legal system supported the nuclear family and biblical-based morality. There were strict laws that made divorce difficult, and there was the community peer pressure that made the stigma of divorce very great. As I was growing up in the 50s, I only had two people that I knew who, children, friends of mine, whose parents had been divorced. Only two in our classes, in our classes that we had from kindergarten up to seventh-eighth grade. If you had asked the students in the classes that I was attending, how many of you have a mom and a dad who are still together and married? Everyone would have raised their hand because it was common for their parents to remain together, but it was in the 60s that divorce became a lot easier. Then you began to have what is called a no-fault divorce, and it became almost an epidemic. The community, no longer expecting people to remain married, and the legal system being loosened up a bit, if you will, has led to more divorces. And then the third and most important thing that kept the families together was the teaching of the church. Until recently, every branch of Christianity strongly supported marriage and resisted divorce. The Christian church took the Bible's teaching on marriage seriously and taught it properly. You see, throughout Scripture, God makes clear his view of divorce. You see it really clearly in the Old Testament book of Malachi chapter 2, verses 13 through 16. In that portion of Scripture we read, and God is speaking to the nation of Israel here, Another thing you do, you flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts Him with pleasure from your hands. You ask why? It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel. And so God says, I hate divorce. Now, again, Jesus, in verses 27 through 30, was teaching concerning the sin of adultery. In verse 28, He revealed its origin. It's the human-hearted sinful nature. In this context we saw that it was the unredeemed fallen human nature. But He gave that remedy, deal with it ruthlessly. He continues in verses 31 and 32 and says, Furthermore it has been said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. So again, He's contrasting the traditions that had been handed to the people through the rabbis. He's contrasting the teaching of the rabbis with his own teaching. I want you to notice something here. Notice that Jesus goes back to the interpretation of the original intent of marriage, the original intent. You see, the rabbis were quoting from the book of Deuteronomy. This portion that Jesus in verse 31 is quoting, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce, is found in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1. Deuteronomy is the fifth book of the Old Testament. And so the rabbis were using Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1. What Jesus does is He predates that with creation. Because He's referring really to how it was intended from the beginning. Again, the rabbis were caught up with the external, but Jesus goes to the internal and begins to speak concerning what marriage actually is. You see, in Genesis chapter 2 verse 24, the Bible says for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Later on in Matthew 19, when Jesus was speaking concerning marriage and divorce, He says in Matthew 19 verse 6, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Now when Jesus was speaking this in the Gospel of Matthew, His disciples were amazed. They said in Matthew 19 verse 10, they said, if such is the case of the man with his wife, it's better not to marry. Because it sounds like Jesus is saying that divorce is really not something that you should be seeking. Well, Jesus says it again in verse 31. It has been said, again referring to rabbinic tradition, the law of Moses made it clear, it's one man, one woman, one lifetime. So the implication of the law is that death alone is able to part them. Now my wife Marie has never said to me, I'm going to divorce you. She has said I'm going to kill you, but that's a different thing. You see in Romans chapter 7 verse 2, it says, for example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he's alive. But if her husband dies, she's released from the law of marriage. In 1st Corinthians 739, a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. And so Jesus says marriage is intended by God. The two becoming one flesh is intended by God to be permanent, but there is the exception. And we'll see that in verse 32 when Jesus says, I saved you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality. So he gives that exception clause. We'll look at that in just a moment. But that constitutes rebellion against the meaning of marriage and it will break the marriage when somebody is unfaithful sexually. Now when Jesus said it has been said, he's referring to the teaching out of the Old Testament. And again, I mentioned that this is the passage cited by the rabbis in Deuteronomy. We have it as Deuteronomy chapter 24 verses 1 through 4. If you'd like Deuteronomy being the fifth book of the Old Testament, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, you might want to turn your Bibles down to spend some time looking at Deuteronomy 24. Deuteronomy 24. And so you might want to open your Bibles there if you have them on your lap. It's the fifth book of the Old Testament. It comes right after the book of Numbers and we're looking at chapter 24, which comes after chapter 23 verses 1 through 4. I want you to look at this with me. Deuteronomy 24 beginning at verse 1. When a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. When she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife, her former husband, who divorced her, must not take her back to be his wife after she's been defiled. That is an abomination before the Lord. You shall not bring sin into the land which the Lord your God has given you as an inheritance. This is the passage. This is the reference that was most often cited to allow divorce. I need to begin by saying God permitted divorce under certain circumstances, but his permission for divorce was because of his grace, but not because of his design. This passage in Deuteronomy actually constitutes a warning against divorce. It's a warning not to divorce. You see, divorce under certain conditions was permitted, but it was never encouraged as the best decision. Now, I had mentioned to you that Jesus deals with this question a second time. It's found in Matthew 19. Jesus had said what God has joined together, let not man separate. Well, in Matthew 19, verses seven and eight, they said to him, why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away? He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Moses permitted you because your hearts can be hardened. This was a concession to the reality of our sinful nature but it was not declaring God's design nor his intent. When he created Eve for Adam as the Bible story goes, he intended the two to become one flesh and to remain together. That's God's original intent. That's his design for marriage. But during the time of Christ, there was a way of looking for reasons for divorce and that's what we're looking at right now. Notice in Deuteronomy 24 verse one how it says, she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, some uncleanness. So this question that was being debated during the time of Christ was the phrase, some uncleanness. There were two leading opinions at that time. One was presented by a rabbi named Halal and the other was an opinion that was given by Rabbi Shemai. Now the rabbi, Rabbi Halal, his reasoning was you can have a divorce and it can occur for any reason at all, any frivolous reason because there's some uncleanness in her. There's something that doesn't give you pleasure, something that you don't like about her, something that you despise about her. It could be something as simple as, she burned your supper or she has said something badly about your mom. Now that's the case. When Marie and I got married, my wife and I got married, Marie had never cooked. She didn't know how to cook. I was her guinea pig and she had never cooked. Her mama made all the meals in the family. Marie was going to college and her mom had the meals made and also Marie had never cooked so I'm the first person she ever had made meals for and we referred to her early meals as burnt offerings to God. They were done with a good heart but I'd call them burnt offerings because she was learning how to cook. Now under that Halal's teaching I could have said to her I divorce you, I divorce you given her a certificate of divorce and it would have been over because she burned my food or I know that no ladies in here would ever do this hypothetically or perhaps you know somebody who spoke poorly of their mother-in-law. None of you ever would I know. I understand that all of you, your mother-in-laws are the best you've ever had etc. But say she did something to get you upset and you said to your husband man that old lady ought to croak. She's just constantly meddling in our affairs. She's bothering us. She just leave me alone. I can't bathe the kids right. I can't dress them right. I don't make the right meals. Yes some of you know what I'm talking about. Oh my boy doesn't like his food cooked like that. You're going to have to learn he really likes it like this. None of you have ever heard that. These are stories that have been told to me over the years by other people who no longer go here. And you can get this irritation about it and you can say I don't want to hear that anymore. You tell your mother to stay out of my business. She does nothing but metal. Well under this leniency I could have said I divorce, I divorce, I divorce you for saying that because my mommy's the best. I could do that. But that's not the intent. Then you have the other one. You have Shamai. Shamai went so far as to say this uncleanness is speaking specifically speaking of adultery. Now is it speaking of the sin of adultery? Well all you need to do is look at the word and see is that what it's referring to. You see the word uncleanness speaks of nakedness, shame or disgrace. The word uncleanness is speaking of every shameful or indecent behavior unbecoming to her and embarrassing to her husband. So what kind of uncleanness has she been involved in? It is the unfaithfulness and promiscuity that stopped just short of actual intercourse. It's an activity that has brought shame to the husband as well as the family. That constituted grounds for divorce but it is not adultery because according to the law adultery is much more serious. On one occasion Jesus was ministering when his opponents brought a woman and they said to Jesus this woman was caught in adultery in the very act and Moses says in the law that such should be stoned. That was out of Leviticus chapter 20 verse 10. If a man commits adultery with another man's wife with the wife of his neighbor both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. There was a law related to adultery but the law when it was enacted would have been capital punishment. What Jesus is speaking about with the traditions of the rabbis here is that they are saying that you can have this divorce given to you very easily for this uncleanness but they have made it equal to adultery when Jesus is saying in fact what the rabbis are teaching you is really something that is external but isn't even dealing with the attitude of the heart. You see again in Deuteronomy 24 verse 2 through 4 it says when she is departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce puts it in her hand and sends her out of the house his house or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife the former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled in other words he couldn't remarry her because adultery resulted when she was remarried because they had divorce with no proper reason the second marriage would be adulterous she could not return because of the adultery brought about by her second marriage in adultery divorce was regarded as an act of grace as a life to capital punishment so Jesus is saying unjustified divorce results in adultery he is forbidding divorce for convenience sake so that somebody might be tired of one person divorce them so they can marry somebody else and he is saying that a person with no biblical right to divorce has no right to remarry notice verse 32 I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality in adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery what are the grounds of divorce sexual immorality sexual immorality the actual consummation of sex in an unlawful sense because you're with somebody else's husband or wife that is a ground for divorce now let me develop this a little bit further with you again see this in chapter 19 and I'll give you more aspects of this when we get there but somebody asked me on one occasion as a Christian they said listen my husband this was a lady speaking to me my husband has said to me I'm sorry my husband is not a Christian so she said to me can I divorce him because I'm a Christian and he's not a Christian and I'm supposed to be married to a Christian and I'm supposed to divorce him so that I can marry a believer like myself and so she said I think Paul said something about that well when you look in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 12 and 13 Paul said to the rest I say not the Lord that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him let him not send her away and a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her let her not send her husband away so I said no Paul said that if you have an unbelieving spouse but he consents to remain with you he doesn't want to divorce you he wants to stay with you that you're to remain with him in that way you may win your husband to faith in Christ but Paul goes on in verse 15 of 1 Corinthians 7 to say yet if the unbelieving one leaves let him leave the brother or the sisters he doesn't want to divorce you we have many cases but God has called us to peace so one biblical reason for divorce is sexual immorality a second reason for divorce would be an unbelieving spouse who does not want to remain married to a believer Paul said God has called us to peace in such conditions allow him to go and so When Jesus is addressing this, he's really speaking concerning the teaching the rabbis were giving related to Deuteronomy. And he was saying this uncleanness that is being referred to here is sexual impropriety. But if you get a divorce because there's been no adultery that has taken place, but you get a divorce or anything less than that, then the consummation of a new marriage with somebody else really is where the adultery takes place. But if there's going to be a divorce between you to remember God gave you a concession because of the hardness of your heart and under those conditions, God has allowed it because of sexual immorality. Here's the thing. Can God heal broken marriages? And the answer is yes, of course. If the people whose marriage has been broken do not allow themselves to be hardened in heart. There are guys who have told their wives if you ever go out on me with somebody else, I will divorce you and they go through with it. There are women who have tried to keep their husband faithful by saying I would divorce you in a heartbeat. And they use the threat of divorce as a tool to try and keep them faithful. But what happens when a husband is unfaithful to a wife or a wife is unfaithful to the husband? Is that the unforgivable sin? And the answer is no, all sins are forgiven when repented of, confessed and turned away from. Can God heal broken marriages? Yes, he can. Is it difficult? Absolutely, of course it is. Because that was a marriage bond, the two became one flesh. There's a splintering that takes place when there's unfaithfulness. But does God have the ability to bring peace to two broken hearts, to heal those broken hearts? Yes, if we yield ourselves, humble ourselves. That's why Jesus said God allowed this. He gave a concession or permission because he said the hardness of your heart, the hardness of your heart. And I know in our fellowship, I know that over the years, that there have been many people who have had broken hearts over marital infidelity. I've had friends who minister other places, or friends that I know in other churches, who've gone through the pain of a spouse who was unfaithful. And I have seen God heal broken hearts, when humility has been experienced, when confession has been experienced, and when reconciliation has occurred, because all things are possible with God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and that includes the ability to forgive a mate who has been unfaithful. One of the things the Lord has taught me over the years that I'm asking Him to constantly teach me, and it's really changed the way that I minister even, has been to just remind me not to flaunt. I don't ask Him to make me feel bad, or I'm not asking for guilt or anything related to that. I've asked God to help me never forget how deeply I had sinned against Him, and how deeply His grace has gone in my life. Because that helps me to show grace to other people. I prayed, and some of you have prayed similarly. I prayed as a young believer and a young minister. I prayed, God, help me never to look at somebody and say, how could you do that? Help me not to go there. Help me not to look at somebody in my heart and say, how could you do that? Because, but for the grace of God, there go I. I have the ability to feel like anybody else without the help of God, without His forgiveness, without His power. I can feel like anybody else, and I'm aware of that. Let Him who thinks He stand, take heed, let's see fall, Paul said. And that's true. So there's, you know, there's no weakness like an unguarded strength, and if you think yourself to be so strong that you'll never fail, you're putting yourself in a position to be tested in a way that perhaps you don't want to be tested. So I've asked the Lord, God, would you help me to have a graceful, love-filled, compassionate attitude? Because, because Lord, you forgave me of so many things. In my early marriage with my wife, Marie, and something would occur that she and I would have a disagreement. And occasionally we did have a disagreement, of course. You know, she would say I was wrong and then she found out later on I wasn't wrong. I was right. And then she apologized and I reconciled. But when you have those problems, you know, the Lord began to teach me early on in our relationship, you're a sinner too. You're no better. As a matter of fact, you're a lot worse in many ways than this person you're angry at right now. Show her grace because I showed you grace. I've been learning that for many years. Show her grace because I showed you grace. So can you in a broken marriage have a healed marriage? Absolutely. Absolutely you can. If both of your hearts are broken before the Lord and you say, God, be merciful to me, I'm a sinner. Lord, I've contributed in one form or another to the situation as it is. And I ask you to bring healing to us because, Lord, it is better for us to be together than for us to be apart. When I made my vow, I didn't make my vow to the minister and I didn't make my vow of marriage to the witnesses. I didn't make my vow to the group that was there watching. I made my vow to you that I would love this person till the day I died. Until one day you would take either me or you would take her and you would place them into the arms of Jesus. I said that I would love her to the very, very end. And I want to keep my vow. And so, yes, if there's been heartbreak and disappointment, if there's been pain of infidelity, yes, there's a concession in Scripture. Yes, Jesus said it except for the case of sexual immorality. But he also said, but Moses, out of the hardness of your heart, gave you this permission. That from the beginning wasn't God's intent. From the beginning, it was the two shall become one flesh. And that's what God intended. And as believers, the last thing that I should be thinking of is divorce. The first thing I should be thinking of is reconciliation. Because I've been reconciled to God and I want my marriage to remain together.