 Ladies and gentlemen Tony Gaskins here Now I told y'all I'm gonna be off Next week, so I'm trying to put in a little bit of extra work this week and Still trying to make up for the lives that I didn't get to do for several weeks For the blessed tribe Now the blessed tribe have you know, we have the blessed tribe on YouTube But if you saw my premiere I think on there I mentioned the growth group so y'all take a check out the growth group which is just be like a Group coaching where we'll do monthly calls and things like that I got a little talks with Tony that I shot earlier that'll go out like noon tomorrow. I think Just a real little simple one Where I kind of explain a little bit more about the growth group Now remember now, I honestly don't know if my premiere is over because I can't remember how long it was and I think I put it at 715 See, I don't know what the premiere over with make sure I got my sound up and everything but um Let me see my Wi-Fi Not my Wi-Fi. I hope for my Wi-Fi Do what it's supposed to do Okay, I see and I make sure y'all put on hashtag Q in front of your question So I'll see it when you put it in the chat Won't let you know I am on my way to publishing my books in it for editing today Thank you for your birth your book court. God bless you. God bless you I'm glad that it says a lot about you, you know, and just your ability to work through the course and then apply what you learn You know, it's not easy Definitely not easy. So congratulations on that for all other aspiring artists You know follow her lead Get on out there just such a sense of accomplishment one of my other men mentee sent me his book in the mail and just you know Holding that physical book. I'm like wow Joy of God bless you now. God bless you Appreciate your being here How can you tell if a man is finessing you The two main signs is if he trying to get you in the bed or if he trying to do something with money So anything to where a man is living off of you, you know trying to move in with you Trying to get along for business trying to get along for his personal life Or if he trying to sleep with you, you always kind of got a pause and look at that situation a little different but today just because of all the You know erroneous ill advised teachers out there today. It's gonna be a lot of finessing. So you almost kind of got a be looking for check for reassurance about following females Said he didn't follow anyone new and that it's not good. I keep checking It's having an opposite effect on him. No trust No trust red flag Well, if you're in a relationship, I remember a quote that said Inspect what you expect so if you're in a relationship, it's no You know, that's up to you if you want to check but you have to ask yourself Is that the kind of relationship you want to be in where you have to be playing blues clues? Which are partnered where you always got to be Sherlock Holmes. So so the truth is yes You're gonna give him trust or you're gonna move on about your business Because if you got to watch him like a guard dog or you got to be his probation officer, then you're not in a relationship You know you in prison and you you are What that you are Corrections deputy that ain't a relationship. So you got to give him that space and you give him enough rope help yourself You see what I mean and he'll show you Was talking to a musician that lost his sister in March was there through his Stop talking to him in April because he was texting someone else, but we were friends Okay, I'm not sure if that was a question How can we maintain everything while making low-wage? Very scared due to leaving out early mornings while dark Just needing increase to provide more would you say it's not time to receive? Now the issue right now with y'all questions they too long So y'all have to shorten the question because y'all question kind of getting cut off and y'all going too deep You know this right here just a little like Q&A. Okay, so you might need a mentor off my mentor dot life and and It's because y'all if your question getting cut off was too long or you can't fit the hashtag Q in front of it You know, it's a little too deep. What are your thoughts on older guys and younger women dating? friends 10 years Erica you might own though if you knew I got a whole video on that why older men date younger women don't I got that whole video on that so I Can't really do it justice here. Okay, should you reach out? No, you shouldn't reach out If he want you here reach out if he did wrong then you never go back and chase somebody that did you wrong? Not having a good relationship with your parents could cause problems with other relationships That is correct typically a lot of times it'll lead to co-dependency To where you co-dependent instead of interdependent And so you looking to feel that void other times it could create situations that are a Little toxic because you taking and you acting like they act How important are how important or unimportant are looks in relationships to each day on you know to each day on Yeah, I don't think to anybody. It's everything. I don't I don't think any human because I feel like every human knows We're imperfect dating a man with kids or not Or not a good idea with kids You got to look at everything that come with that situation and you got to ask yourself, okay if he has baby mama drama Can I deal with it? Loving this child his child as my own can I deal with it? Splitting time with him him being with his children and me not being allowed to be there. Can I deal with it? if you can't deal with those things then it's best to Wait on a man without children Boyfriend kept saying he failed me. We broke up after eight months He wants to grow and deal with his soul ties from an eight-year relationship We were together eight months said he's not right mentally. He cried thoughts Listen to him and let him go when a man tell you he's not ready for a relationship Don't try to convince him otherwise when a man tells you he don't believe in marriage Don't try to convince him otherwise a man knows who he is and what he wants Even if that means he's not ready to become who he needs to become or who he should be You can't try to convince a man otherwise and that's why so many women lose is because you ignore what he's saying you ignore what he's saying and you try to manipulate him or Make him fit what you want versus listening to what he said What is the safest and classiest way to tell someone to leave you alone or you're calling the police just like that? Right through a text message where they could read it over and over and over high if you contact me again calling the police. Thank you Just like that Is it such thing as being single for a long time that you get complacent being single and my selling myself short I'm not wanting a relationship at all That's not complacency, you know, that's a good place That's actually when you ready for a relationship when you completely happy being single Then that means that you've settled in You've healed you feel good and it's actually the space where you want to be before you get into a relationship you want to be comfortable with you and Enjoy your own company, but when you desperate or you kind of needy then That right there could set you up for failure So you got to be careful. Should you give a person a chance who you're not attracted to? No, you shouldn't because But at the same time too, you got to understand that she'll go on other foot too. So whenever However, you judge you will be judged And so when you look at somebody that you're not attracted to it's typically Because of societal beauty constructs that have told you this is what's attractive this is what's attractive and this is not attractive and You're gonna be judged by that same measuring stick on average. So you got to understand a Lot of times it's not about getting somebody. That's everything you've ever dreamt of But can you look at this person and say this person is Good-looking they ain't they ain't got to be absolutely fine Beautiful gorgeous like are we looks compatible now if you feel a throw up in your throat? Or the person you look at this man or woman and it turn your stomach a little bit Then that's not something you want to proceed with So understand that do you have any advice on how to grow in having a conversation with men? The key is not to overthink it The thing that a lot of women do is they practice beforehand and they go in and they end up being somebody else and They're too extra or they're too forward or they're too demanding or they're too, you know Interrogating so the key is just to be natural just to be comfortable be you if you're introvert and you talk low and slow Then just talk low and slow if you're extrovert and you talk high and fast talk high and fast and just let the natural conversation flow without putting someone on the hot seat and Pretending it's an episode of first 48 and that's the thing is like a lot of times We go in and we have like these lists of questions like we interrogating the person Instead of just sitting down and having a conversation as if you're talking to the most interesting person in the world And so when you talk to the person like they're the most interesting person in the world That's when they start to open up and start to really express And and then you ask the next question next question next question a lot of time we go in Wanting to be heard so much that we don't let the other person talk And if you the more you let a person talk the more you're gonna learn about them and find out You know if this really somebody you want to deal with Tony I'm so tired of dating broke men. I'm tired of being more financially well off But I'm trying not to be shallow, but I get resentful generally They are good men advice well You have to evaluate your relationship with money and you have to evaluate why you equate brokenness to finances and instead of equating character to Wholeness and to wealth and prosperity So you have to confront your scarcity mindset and where you come from and See can you I heard somebody say maybe it was I can't remember if it was C. S. Lewis or Napoleon Hill that say They deal with people like digging for gold meaning discarding the dirt if you just paying attention to the dirt then you miss the goal and ironically it's not Gold digging but not in the sense of you with somebody for their money true gold digging is Getting through the dirt define the goal. So when you look at a broke man You you can't just look at a man for his finances. You ought to look at does he have a broke mindset? If he broke minded then he can always be broke pocketed But if he rich minded he eventually gonna be rich pocketed and you might just catch him right in that space to where he Getting ready to be there. And so that's what you have to realize too when you're looking at this is a situation Can you give advice on why men don't give closure and be be God bless you? a Man or woman whichever way it goes doesn't give closure So that they can walk in and out the door So it's kind of like when somebody leave you you got a picture like if somebody leave you are they gonna leave? you and Change the locks on your door for you No, and they leave and they leave out that door. It's on you to change your locks if they got a key It's on you to change the locks But if you leave it up to the person who leaving they want that door to be left open So that when they go out looking for a upgrade they upgrade turn out to be a downgrade now They could just come back in and so that's typically why people don't give closure because they want to be able to come in And out your life. So you have to give yourself closure Miss J. God bless you. We're dating a guy with two kids cause problems in the long run now ain't miss Cleo, but You got to look at his situation, you know, and you got to sit down and talk to him That may take three to five dates to really find out his situation If his phone blowing up from the ex, you know The mother his children while y'all on that date or if all he talked about is the mother of his children Or one of his children how have it go if he got one or two baby mom Then that just let you know you now you able to peer in to see what's going on But if this you know the mother of the children neither here nor there and he get to see his kids or whatever And it's not causing him stress. He got that in order then You could be a blended family But if it's something that you can tell and the first three to five dates that this a little draining on him This little toxic now you've seen what you need to see that's in the God bless you I have a boyfriend of four months. He calls me once in a blue moon just text all day and says I can call him I still haven't met his friend Yeah, thanks your boyfriend Thanks boyfriend y'all pen pals Julie God bless you now bless you now Bless you now you got that other kind of sign in front of that so that right there probably worth more than dollar sign God bless you Charlie. God bless you Why do guys look but don't approach nine out ten times? It's either you're not as tight or he take him It typically one or two reason Oh Mr. My ex broke up with me for no legitimate reason I called him recently and he wants to get back together But he makes it seem like I'm the reason everything is wrong in his life. What should I do run? run Anytime somebody want want to make you all of their problems want to blame their problems on you run He'll be getting back with you for you to be a punching bag for you to be a teddy bear For you to be a the cool side of the pillow Run, don't even don't even question it. All right, y'all know God. Let's just graduated college with a B.A. nah Ain't graduated college. That's a battle It seems as if I am even more confused with what direction to take my career in when first starting school to take my career in when first starting school advice um We have Career coaches on my mentor dot life. I Feel like if you talk through it and you sit down you talk through it It may take one hour. It may take, you know, three or four sessions just talking through it but what you have to do is you got to identify the difference between your gifts and Your passions and then see what you can marry between the two because your gift is something you born with Now your passion that's something you fall in love with but sometimes you can fall in love with something that you naturally gifted at When you see you could so it's like if a gift is writing and a passion is writing when you marry the two that means author blogger ghostwriter so a lot of times we go to school and we thinking with our head Meaning what's gonna make money? What's gonna be cool? What's gonna be in and we're not looking within and doing the interview to see What we gifted at my issue God bless your not destiny God bless I am with him at least three days three days out of the week. He says because we're always together He doesn't have to call me Again, that's not your boyfriend That's not your boyfriend, I know you want that it's your boyfriend, but that's not your boyfriend, okay? If a man don't call you that ain't your boyfriend Y'all pen pals and then he gets to see you when he gets to see you But like the woman said on the movie rage scratch a lie find a thief He with you three days out of the week. That's on a good week. What about the week's is one day What about the week's is no day? What about the week's is two days? Now who ain't three days who he with other four days when he not calling you. You see I'm saying so If if a man when a man really want you he gonna feel almost like a leech on your skin You go through that muddy water and you come up in that leech on you That's what that man gonna feel about like if you his wife He checking on you morning night and noon and he want to hear your voice to make say nobody in the background Everything good He want to talk to you and then if he close enough to see you He want to be up under you smelling on you every day when a man is for you when you an option That's when you're gonna get this little sporadic Conversation and stuff Erica God bless you now friend slash co-workers two years never anything personal We agreed to be cuddle buddies both healing and agreed to never have it feels amazing thoughts All right They listen Listen Now what's your history with trusting men? How many men you don't gay you are you know a proposal? And it turned out to be a win-win to me what this is doing right here What to me what this sound like this sound like a man trying to? Law you to sleep Trying to get you relaxed to get you drop them guards and one day Why y'all cuddling something to slip right on slip right on round and then you're gonna be Mm-hmm, that's all that is spending quality time making love to your mind You're releasing that oxytocin that serotonin that dopamine you feeling good like you said feel amazing So when a man make love to your mind day after day after day after day How much easier is it gonna be for him to make love to your body? when he get ready to Grow out that thing what you finna say after all that cuddling and It and feeling amazing you anything to be like uh-uh put that up you finna be like, okay? All right is what I'm talking about Listen to me now. Don't play yourself Don't play yourself. You look what what the good boy say who can take fire in his bosom and not be burned Brittany God bless you now my guy cheated six months in He wants me to believe he is ready now to be committed So I asked him to start make it work with me and we completed chapter one He's 35. I'm 30 the girl acted a fool on us at a party and I stayed classy That's a person now don't just stop at chapter one now y'all need gonna read every chapter as fast as you can read a Chapter and discuss it read the next chapter get through the whole entire book don't skip a page Because if you're gonna give him another chance you got to make sure he do some real work He got to do real work. Don't let him just come back just because he got you know loose booted and horny And then he wanted to go touch him some and then knowing that it just was a look You know flying Philly Wayne and then now he want to come back to you because you more cool con collected and stable and steady But then in another six months now he want to love Flying Philly Wayne and then he gone back out there and come back again because this is the thing and Man knows when he get in a relationship that he's supposed to be faithful So if the most self-control he has is six months before he cheated on you That's a very that that's a scary thing right now Now on one side you can look at like oh he got it out of system early Oh, he ain't know he got out of system it take that to happen one time and for you to overcome it for the relationship to be strong On the other side you look at like wow, that's all the self-control you got you can even be faithful for two years before you slip out there You couldn't even Do that and not get caught Like you might be looking at yourself like I did me a little something but you don't know about it But it's like if a person cheat to the point that they messy enough that they get caught because cheating is not hard to do There's a whole lot of people cheating men and women whole lot of people cheating and not getting caught When a person is cheating and they get caught typically when you kept somebody cheating that mean they didn't cheat on you ten times Because you rarely get caught for the first crime you rarely get caught Maria God bless and I Canadian God bless that C8 God bless and I coach your content lately again has been a blessing in time No question. Just thank you so much looking forward to growth group mastermind Thank you pray you and your family continue to be like God bless you Maria I did see your name sign up for the growth group Everybody in the growth group they sign up on Tony gas Academy comm y'all to get an email from him Here soon we we're gonna get started in June. So y'all pump your brakes y'all we can get started in June We're just enrolling through the rest of May and we'll be enrolling in June, but we'll get started with our private calls in June as well Felicia God bless you my best friend 43 years just told me he wish he could do things all over again He would be with me his best friend He would be with his best friend me. We both said I love you All right now Felicia. Okay. All right. I'm gonna tell you like this right here That could be true That's not how I'm built You know me personally, I'm not finna be around a woman that I like for 43 years and not make no more a Lot of time now from what I have seen in my business the thousands of coaching sessions I don't have every time friends who was platonic friends Getting to a relationship it turned out to be a disaster I cannot pinpoint not now time where platonic friends of several years got together and it worked out Because it just too is it's just apples and oranges Because the the thing being platonic friends allow you to do is allow you to create a fantasy Allow you to hold up my son a little voice Allow you to create a fantasy not now. What happened you go all the way And he go and that thing smell like a pole cat He doesn't and then you smell What happened you go to wash his clothes? And he got more crud than a mud slide in them draws You see I'm saying a lot of time when you platonic friends that allow you to build up this fantasy and Then boom and the way a lot of men work is soon they touch the one that got away The thrill is gone. That's why the man made this song the thrill is gone The thrill is gone. Wait Prince at that. So y'all got to remember now You got to be careful with that. Don't don't let desperation set in. Okay, KK You thought I missed y'all done PLN How to behave around people who are blocked on Facebook when I meet them in person unexpectedly Like ain't nothing happened. Like ain't nothing happened Yeah, hey, how you doing? Oh, great to see you. All right. How's everything? All right. All right. Take care just like that. I Had to go off on a man And I'm gonna put hands on not too long ago When I see him Because he out there be at my son soccer when I see him Are you gonna look just let them know. Yeah. Yeah, you look yeah You still a get it ain't been at all ain't finna be put my head down walking around. Nope. How you doing? Yeah A real one gonna look you right in the eyes even after they don't say what they had to say Don't look you right now. I speak. How you doing? Why when I tell someone I don't want a relationship and they keep trying and get upset when I won't do What they ask or want why do men have to be that way? Corridor that's a rhetorical question Del v. God bless your height on it. I'm pregnant moved away from my early Baby father he ignores messages regarding the Baby, is it worth fighting for a child support risking him? Getting visitation says that's a personal choice, you know, cuz you gonna have to live with that not me You see what I mean So you got you got to really weigh your heart on that you can't lean on nobody else On nobody else input because you got to live with that either way or the other and that and when you're dealing with you Know blended family. I mean co-parenting That's something that you have to deal with it. That's that's nothing. That's not a light thing You know, that's not something just to throw something out that I just could Irresponsibly throw out some some feedback on the situation that deep Without having all other details and everything going in there Now we do have co-parenting coaches on my mentor dot life So everybody who bump into the video and you need some outside support guidance, whatever make sure you go to my mentor Dot like that's why I created certified train coaches It's therapists on there counselors on there you read a bio you can select what topic you want to talk on you click the filter Select the topic and then look through the coaches read the bios Go all the way through on from the cue Q of the man saying he failed me and I Know not to wait, but if he grows in circles back Circles his way back can it work felt he was my husband. It was under a year Yes, it can work It can work if he grow and he circle back and especially because it was under a year See when you them being with somebody That it's been three years five years seven years ten years and then y'all break up Over some foolishness. That's when it's least likely to work because y'all had Years to get to know each other and still decided to spit in somebody's face But when it's been under a year, you still learning each other. You only know each other so mistakes and You know things like that is expected to happen. It just can't be So disrespectful, you know like with the cheating, you know six months in that right there That may not be a forgivable offense. That's it to each his own kids dad and I are co-parent He gets me flowers on b-day and Mother's Day. Is it safe to get him a Father's Day gift without sending mixed signals? Well, he already sending you mixed signal, so you getting him something You know It'll send a signal That say a I'm picking up what you putting down So it just depends on how you want him to feel if you want him to feel like you still got a little feelings And like you just ain't off him all the way Then you get him a little gift. I mean he is a father But really instead of you getting the gift what you should do is you Get the gift from the kids and say it's because he's not your daddy. You see what I mean What had the same night 30 year old lawyer Good-looking KVA. God bless you now 30 year old lawyer Good-looking was in a relationship for nine years with a guy with no ambitions Then I dated 36 year old lawyer for one year left because he was controller. I am scared to date. I need advice You're gonna need coaching system You're gonna need coaching that's a little deeper than the Q&A all it needs. You just need some coaching You got to take the proper time to heal and to learn and to grow That may take you, you know talking with your coach or your counselor or therapist For 12 to 12 sessions, you know, you may need a little more But we ain't gonna be able to solve that here. You're gonna need some coaching You're a lawyer you go forward it get on on there my mentor dot like now See the thing what we got to get used to is a lot of times we want to fake do the work You got to actually do the work read the books talk to your counselor your coach You got to ask go to the seminars, you know, this right here is fake this right here Q&A this fake This is just fake work. This right here. Just look you give me a little old snippet We ain't diving deep into your situation. You can't take and do no whole bunch of work off of this Like this would give you a little little appetizer, but you're gonna have to dive deeper and really get to the root of your Your issue you got to learn in between you got to heal before you deal past six months marked with boyfriend Consistent talk daily respectful only see each other every other weekend when he doesn't have his one-year-old Still haven't met her only saw his mom once a red flag No, they ain't a red flag since it's only been six months now You got to ease you in there and nobody finna become you know, so it's still really early So now if you pass the 12 month mark when you get the 12 months, that's when okay. All right Where we at now? But when somebody got a child one-year-old You got to be eased in You know stuff still fresh a little bit from his last one So you also got to ask yourself had this man even had enough time to heal and grow and is he actually moving on or am I his rebound? So you got to do some real, you know soul-searching on this one here The Lounder God blessing Living life for God is important to me. I desire a godly man, but men That tribe me are far from that like finding a needle in a haystack am I thinking too hard on it and Just accept the good person or wait and pray Now when you say far in all caps, then you need to keep waiting and praying now if you meet a man who Believes in God and serve God nobody gonna be perfect But if he making progress and he working towards and then he trying to strengthen himself and strengthen his weaknesses Now you've got something to work with because even though you serve God y'all pay attention to these letters I be reading on talks with Tony you'll see a lot of people that say they serve God be on their back in that bed of Defiled bed and so you saying you're a woman of God But to me I really don't know what that means because if you're hopping at the file bed Then that ain't a woman of God to me And so you have to also realize you know remember the measuring stick when you're judging people So don't have your nose turned up whole little than now and this man here is closer to God in the moon and You turn on him because he don't you know express it the same way you express it and he throwing out scriptures And he asking to pray for you You got to really look at his character in his heart now when you say a man is far from it then yeah keep going by to a business How does it affect a man when he has a mother that is an or Example Pamela Anderson I Honestly, I could not tell you Because I've never seen a man with a sexy mama Um And you know and I as a man I can't tell I can't say if my mama was pretty I wouldn't be able to say my mama's acting So I'm I'm just like I have a clue with that now. I don't have a clue now I remember guys who had a pretty mama and God who you're gonna look good. Why? But it's more so like man shut up man shut up and there was nothing abnormal, you know, so I'm not too sure on that one. Y'all be asking some interesting question Erick Godfrey if you ever you need a um Ever you need a cold session Shared the lead as your question. I don't know she did on purpose or accident But you need a cold session error There's a you five you five dollar meter the life. Okay? Don't get the cold session error Y'all y'all see that price on my mentor dot live He said, you know what? I'm gonna get a whole session five dollars at a time This is a free Q&A now for one. This is a free Q&A y'all not even supposed to be sending those on dollar things in And then when y'all send one in just send one question in and then let everybody else get a question in and then learn from They answers, you know I'm saying and see this is the thing what we've got to realize But see this right here is an innate problem And I want y'all to notice this now because it's a few people already nice several people who can afford it Then I already sent in multiple questions That's how we is in society That's how we is in society Uh, I got to have mine got to have mine got to have mine got someone say what's the coaching way outside again It's WWW of my mentor dot life y'all can't see the big old sign Double double ain't got double double. Oh, no, no, it's my mentor dot life See, that's a doc right there and it's doc life. Y'all know we updated nine twenty twenty one Everything ain't calm no more. So it's doc life. It ain't calm. So see this a mentor for your life So you put that WWW in Brooke God bless your ex and I just broke up. He's always been wishy-washy relationship was great then bad Childish lies back at his mom's unfollowed me, but watch is my story still why ask me to lunch tomorrow He got love. He got love, you know tied to you Okay, and he don't want you to move on he want to keep you stuck So what you got to realize, you know, you got to take in Stay out the way So go on about your business if y'all done you done you got to make people realize you all the way in or you all the way out How can I co-parent when my son's dad is out the country for eight years? How can I co-parent when my son's dad is out the country for eight years? Just gonna need a co-parent and coach. That's a little too deep It's a little too deep. It's a little too deep I Only questions in the chat only question in chat for those y'all who knew here only questions in the chat and Put the hashtag queue in front of y'all. I've got moderators in here So they're they deleting stuff. So I don't even see what they'd be deleting sometime, but They done been here long enough and they've been here since I've been doing questions so If they if they deleted it it opposed to be deleted so make sure that you keep questions in the chat and Put the hashtag queue in front of it See that cam God bless you how to overcome the fact that you chose a grown boy as your child's father Dealing with inconsistency with son and disrespect doesn't follow rules I gave him for son like nap times want to ignore him for the rest of my life, but wouldn't be fair to son Yep, you know you to be honest with you maybe help somebody else. That's what I'm doing I'm helping y'all to deal with the fact of all the horrible mistakes. I made and the horrible things. I did I'm serving let your mistakes become lessons and then let your pain birth your purpose So that might be a book for you that you write for when young women ages 14 to 18 You know a 14 to 25 or you know because a lot of people sleeping around round 14 15 start getting on their back So sometimes you got to sit in your mess But let your mess birth your message. Let your mess become your message. So help somebody help nieces Cousins other people kids, you know write it down About where were you thinking? Where were you at when you chose this man? Why did you miss the red flags and everything that he is today? Did you not see that when you were sleeping with him if you did? Why did you ignore it? Get to ask yourself them tough questions answer those tough questions put it down on paper in a book on a blog on a podcast So that you could help prevent other people from sleeping with the wrong person Luciana God bless it. Hi, Tony. Can you talk more about how it's okay for 50 plus to join a dating site versus someone younger Essentially what that's saying is you didn't been here Much longer than a 25 year old so you didn't seem more of the games You didn't seem more of the ways of man And so you more mature and it's a lot of sharks online plenty of sharks The dating site y'all be on Offender the other dating site y'all be on Dumbo the other site y'all be on you see in the mean no harmony calm unmatched Dot-com Unhinged all these different sites is a hot mess and so What happened is when you get fit there your your life you may be active in doing stuff But you might not have the same time, you know You might not want to go out three four times a week to the lounge at the restaurant to the you know Organization that you found on meetup.com. So you may join the site and Then you can read between the lines a little better So that's why I say and then a lot of times when you get older if you really really desperate for somebody You could end up going to desperate measures So instead of going to desperate measures your desperate measure if anything If you want to do online dating you should be you know mature enough to handle all of the games That's gonna come with that. It's like when you selling stuff on eBay. They be having a million games on now That's how online dating is. It's the eBay for people looking for love Or angel god bless you saw your video does he regret losing you it talks about grown men Spoke with my mentor and said he saw me as a wife But he but he was not my husband. Can a grown boy regret losing a wifey woman, too? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he could regret it but um in the real sense of the word Not really you said I mean so The bigger issue is Wasting your time worrying about if he regrets it you have to just know that's his loss And you can't spend too much time worrying about If he regretted and the lesson that he's gonna get and hoping he get a lesson and hoping he meet Trashy women that he can compare to you you just have to Renew your mind in a different way and that's one of the things that we do as humans a lot of time We put our energy in the wrong places and we focus on the wrong thing like hey is my ex happy Hey, it's will my ex find somebody better than me. Hey will my ex regret it? You just have to say listen. It's better to have love and lost and to not love at all Let me heal. Let me grow. Let me block them. Let me cut off all whatever and let me move on with my life But typically to be honest with you as adults We know what we are doing when we're doing it and so When a man is taking a woman for granted He know he taking in her for granted and he's doing it because what he's saying is I'm willing to lose you You know if a man cheats on you a dog you out of disrespect you or don't shoot his shot Or don't make a move and don't court you what he is ultimately saying is I'm willing to let you slip away I'm willing to let you go But if a man meet a woman that he absolutely 100% wants He's not going to let her go. He's going to do everything in his power to have that woman as his one Coach broom God bless you how to differentiate between convenience and actual growth when forgiving and ex Well You have to look at it when you look at growth. It's like what has changed So if something is growing that means it's changing if someone is growing they are changing So if he cursed like a sailor and now he watches mouth If he smoked like a chimney now he don't smoke if he drank like a fish now He ain't drinking like a fish You see what I mean if he was too aggressive in his communication now He emotionally intelligent that's growth but now convenience is they're essentially the same person and just kind of Not showing every little thing or doing it to the same level But they really haven't grown and changed and they just kind of you know going along to get along So you have to be able to Really look at that how long have we been live? Let's try forty seven minutes forty seven and a half minute and I'm only doing sixty minutes because I think my son's down the bed and I'm an early video That I was shooting. I don't know when it's going up or if it went up my wife was trying on her son dresses So I need to go finish seeing her outfit because she liked try every one I'm on me I'll order something. Hey, it's gonna feel or not God bless you KK. I'm 25 been watching your videos for over a year But I still have some fairy-tellish ideas about what marriage really is Tony What is the reality of marriage? Maybe I'm devaluing my single life now The reality of a marriage that has two people that wanted to work. It means that you're constantly growing See marriage is a job that you cannot retire from Love is a job that you cannot retire from so yes You can get a sweet spot and you smooth selling But every single day when you're dealing with humans, you're gonna have some type of little riff And so in marriage a healthy marriage what you have to learn is is this worth breaking up over? If it's not worth breaking up over then it's not worth arguing over Now just because it's not worth breaking up over does not mean it's not worth Addressing but addressing something and arguing over is two different things So when you married like right now a week ago, my wife asked me hey, I want you to kiss me more So I said, okay, I need to you know, make sure I got me some Listerine and make sure you know my mouth Right because I'm white wanna kid. So right for this hill. I Went in the kitchen my wife was in the kitchen looking at her phone I went over there stood up went to kissing on her. She had just ate something a little on protein snacks And she's like, oh, you know, it's smell like whatever. I said no, I don't go Because as soon as she say this what I need then that's what I want to put in action When I tell her a baby, I need this right here from you Need a little bit more of this right here now Soon as I say that the next day won't she put it in action So the reality of a healthy marriage is there is no ego you constantly making mistakes, but you constantly learning and growing and That's what it is. But see you have to make sure that you got somebody that want you as much as you want them Shawty God bless you. Hey, we got 10 more minutes now. Hey Tony What does it say to me and when you express that your longest relationship was only nine months? I've only been in two relationships my whole life One one for nine months 12 years ago and one for four months in December 2020 Well because of the teachers that's out there for me and today data expressed to them That you crazy Because of the people that's teaching men the the people that men are listening to I Share I share wisdom and stuff with men too But not many men watch it because it sounds too much like right. It's too fair it's asking the man to have a level plan field and not to have his foot on a woman neck and To love a woman the way God created her to be loved and not see her as a handmaid or a concubine And so men don't want to hear that and so because of that When you say that these men today most I'm gonna look at you like you crazy a Real man gonna look at you like you are a godsend and you were Preserved just for him that you are the good thing that the Bible says he ought to find So it just depends on who you're talking to why would a guy say you ain't acting right like what does that mean? Well, sometimes Poetry only makes sense to the author How to start over at 25 failed my master's program focusing on ex who's who still doesn't want me Was supposed to graduate this year, but now I'll be 27 when I finish. I feel behind regretful advice You know, I went to my my sister-in-law med school Graduation couple a year or two ago and It was a lady who spoke who was graduating from med school as well as she was 44 years old And so and she had four kids. So you 25 you a spring chicken. You a baby You know, don't don't beat up on yourself from Instagram and tick-tock and comparing your life to other people like 25 37 I still ain't got my bachelor's degree. You see I'm saying you working on sound like you said masters You said I mean so it's like you just got to keep going. Don't beat yourself up Greatest love God bless you. Hi, Tony. How do I cope with loneliness while single? I cut off all my toxic family and friends. So the loneliness is real I am working towards building my business. I missed the company and intimacy with a man The bigger you build your business the more prepared for a relationship. You're gonna be The bigger you build that business the more you bring it to the table the more attractive you're gonna be and so life happens in seasons Right now you in that grind season, you know, and so you have to understand that respect that We've got seven more minutes on here and be okay with that and just Put your hands to the plow and just go to work and just how Boa saw roof in the fields working See roof one standing on the corner looking cute roof one down at the club looking cute roof one down at the lounge and all in in the city hall prancing up and down the courtyard roof was in the field working and Boa said hey You see I mean and so that's one of the lessons is you got to be so busy working That the man because one thing that men love is ambition There's one thing me in love is a go getter even if in his heart he want to be in a position to So his wife could sit down if she want to if they have children or if they adopt kids or if they just got too many dogs He want to be in that position, but it's that ambition that really attract him a real man to her So my wife told me she was in school to be a doctor. I'm like whoa Alright, it's that ambition. She's not a doctor. She work in our companies. We work together She earned more than most doctors earn and She fine with that. She comfortable, but it was the ambition the fact that she had a goal that made her Extra attractive so that's what you got to realize Hi, I am 20 years old and interested in life coaching. I know I am too young right now But what age do you suggest I can start? Um, it's the same that says a quote that said go where you celebrate it not where you tolerate it so when you 20 years old you could do like what I was doing and Coaching the youth so you at 20 years old Your marketing campaign to can be two parents who got enough ahead 13 year olds if you are mature 20 year old and you get you go to Tony gasses Academy calm and you take the life coach Certification and then you get on my mentor dot life. Now you're a business owner Now you a full now you are entrepreneur When you take that link and you post that on your Facebook you put that in your Instagram bio when this mama or this daddy see that you are a certified life coach with a head shot with a bio and They can't get through to their son their daughter, whichever your gender is They finna reach out to you and pay you that $25 an hour So, you know, my daddy coaching a 17 year old young man another coach My mentee coaching a young man It's a mother that hired me to coach her 16 year old daughter Which I much would I much rather her and I told her I much rather you get a woman who understand What a 16 year old Young lady is going through. I'm like, I'm a whole grown man I don't really don't understand what her challenges is in life, but the mama Hired me for coaching for herself and then the coach and help her So she said I want you to coach my daughter in the coach and help the daughter but then I You know, let them go sometimes you as a coach you have to you know Release your client and I said, you know, hey, this I'm not the coach for this right here because this is 16 year old And I'm not built. I'm not a youth coach. So I don't have a patience for this hill I ain't got the pace. I got my own kids to raise. I ain't got the patient for this hill But it's youth coaches. So we got youth coaches on my mentor that like So you always could get started because you never know like there was a high school that hired me as A life coach for the high school for the I really was working one-on-one with the 11th graders And they put me on retainer, you know thousands of dollars a month to come in and it was a private school to come in I Think it was two days a week to come in two days a week and I would be there for four to eight hours meeting one-on-one with the 11th graders because the 11th grade was a really rough class and So Based on that and this is a life coach as a mentor just marketing myself put myself out there So you you got to be willing to go where you celebrate it not where you tolerate it You 20 trying to coach a 40 year old unless you were expert in something then it might not work Tammy Brown God bless you. What type of response is your boyfriend looking for when he asked you how much do you love me? I never respond to it. That's a strange question to me um It really it really means that words of affirmation is his love language and It also so it kind of mean it's kind of like he wants you to stroke his ego But not in a bad way. It's just men need to hear. I love you too Men need to hear I love you this much too Like men need to know that they are loved and they are and we are appreciated and we want to hear it It's soothing to us just as it is to a woman And so when you express that to a man It actually could benefit you because if he doesn't Know how much you love him, especially if he's a good man Now if he a dog and you know, he cheated in order to cheat it and he and you know His angle may be how much do you love me so I could see what I can get away with Then you write not to answer that question But if you know, he kind of like saying hey, I want to know that we in this together All right, y'all end of the question now. I got the goal Luciana God bless you Hey, Tony's okay to join several gyms versus only having one when a singer. Yeah, it's okay. Luciana got that kind of bread Join all the gym you want to join Join all the gym you want to join Hey, God bless y'all. I appreciate you now. Listen Remember back to the same message that I don't state it before You cannot let your desperation talk you out your common sense Every single question that is asked to anybody We already know the answer sometimes we just want confirmation But we already know the answer because Inside of every problem there are seeds to the solution So sometimes you just got to step outside and you got to look in and you got to ask yourself. Hmm now hold on Am I at that place yet? You know, I was getting ready to do something and it was gonna cost me Some money and I said, hmm Is that the best and I had to step out and look in because to me at first when I'm in it It sounded good made sense when I stepped out and look in I said, that's stupid That don't even make sense that ain't time to be doing that right now, man You could be doing this this this this this so we we could coach ourselves We know the answers but you just got to really look at it You know, sometimes you got to read your question that you have for somebody you got to read it like somebody else in it Do you and then see? Hey, God bless y'all appreciate you and We'll talk tomorrow