 Hello and welcome back! I haven't done one of these videos in months and I have missed it dearly, but I hope to be back for a lot more content and the first thing I need to talk about is something that happened to me while playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey a few months ago. Alright, so after I played through the main story of Assassin's Creed Odyssey, which I'll be calling Grease Gone Wild for short, I started off on the DLC. First off, I thought I'd do the one-off Lost Tales of Grease, and then I heard it. Something awful, something dreadful that Cassandra the Eagle Bear has said. I unfortunately don't have it recorded because recording Grease Gone Wild was staxing on my four-year-old computer, and I only got my upgrade two weeks ago, unfortunately. As soon as I heard this dreadful proof of Cassandra's psychopathic tendencies, however, I knew that I would have to talk about it. It's a big problem, everyone. That said, after I recorded it, I realized this issue needed some framing, and as I've wanted to talk about the story of Grease Gone Wild for a while, for ages in fact, I knew now was the time. So get ready for Philip Magnus' remarkable recollection of the Eagle Bear's journey. Our story starts in Kefalonia, the island that our protagonist Cassandra has made a home of. It all begins, as most things in life do, with a bunch of debt collectors showing up, asking for money that your most annoying friend owes the before-Christ version of the mafia. From that point on, all it takes is six hours of basic gameplay mechanic introductions to get to the point where Cassandra shoves a fake eye in a ghost's behind. Said fake eye is, of course, the eye of the master criminal of Kefalonia, a brutish guy who goes by the name of the Cyclops. He eventually gets stabbed. Spoilers, as a side note, I find it really personally reassuring to know that somewhere in Ancient Greece there walks a goat with a fake eye in its butt. Next up, some shady fellow comes around, asking Cassie, yes I call her Cassie now, to kill a Spartan general by the name of Gasp. It's my daddy. Well, not mine. Mine works at the bank. He ain't ordering no one but me to bring him a beer, but it's Cassandra's dad, Nicolaus, the one who, second Gasp, watched as Cassandra's baby brother, Alexius, got drawn off a mountain. He kept watching after Cassandra shoved the priest that threw Alexius off, inferred to her supposed dead herself. Talk about child, sacrifice heavy. At any rate, Cassandra, now captaining her own ship by the name of the address to her, heads off to see good old dad, on the way she's talked by, third Gasp, a Spartan named Stentor, who identifies himself as Nicolaus's son, making him with his dead brother. In order to make sense of Cassie's working on the part of the greatest Spartan cause, which is not, probably, Stentor initiates, yay, yet more tutorial-ish quests which present the conquest mechanic of this game. Or represent it because the actual game started with a conquest battle in which you played as Leonidas. He has that same guy who was played by Russell Crowe, no was it, no, no it wasn't, by that guy who looks like Russell Crowe in 300, and yes, several dozens murders and one Spartan Athenian battle later we finally got to having the Spartan's trust all nice and tidy in our hearts, or in theirs, practiced moment in Megalys, not kicking stepdaddy of a gigantic cliff, Spartan style. Huh, I suppose there's a little something there about that choice which keeps bugging me. Either way, Nicolaus feels remorse gives me some clues as to where I could find my mum who is Gasp, alive but has abandoned her no good stand and watches kids get dropped off a cliff husband, and big Gasp, he's not even my real dad. It makes sense now, Nicolaus, next forfeits his position as General of Sparta in order to go on a spiritual quest. I, occupying Cassie's shoes, decide to try my luck in cashing the check to his head. Of course, Shady McShades, who sent me to kill Dadio, decides it's a great idea to offer me to kill my mum as well, now that I've supposedly rid myself of Daddy, and then gets to try me killed while I'm in the middle of the cliff. Of Daddy, and then gets to try me killed via masked soldiers, for no reason whatsoever other than me telling him to go flip himself off. Running around focus now, and meeting a historical figure, hello, allows me to realise that hey, the whole Greek world is manipulated by cultists, and that Shady McShades, now dead, was one of said cultists. Are you thinking that they might have a catchy name? Good because they do, the cult of cosmos. Sneaking into a meeting of said cult, I come across some interesting information. The cult wants my poor mumsy dead, sucks, but they want dead the leader of Athens, the dad brilliant shining democratic polis, even worse. If you've paid any attention to history, class, you'd know that this leader is Pelik Lees, Greek rockstar, and yeah, that's about it. He was great with the guitars. Biggest takeaway from that cultist meeting, that baby bro of mine, name of Alexios, whom a priest threw off a cliff, surprise, he's alive and he's a homicidal maniac, goes by the name of Damos now. Fear not who I was, let me go incognito, killed a poor, wrong place, wrong time, cultist in my place. That's my baby bro. Oh boy. Off to Athens, meeting with the big P, Pelik Lees himself, getting entangled in the wickedness of democracy. Local politics, meeting an obvious cultist if I've ever seen one, and not being able to stab me and stop him, due to it being too early in the story, was annoying. I also met Pelik Lees as well if it's past you. Not as it must as much. Oh and the crates, and a bunch of important philosophers and playwrights get involved. You know how those old kuts are, loving that sweet democracy, not loving the militaristic, jingoistic military cultist guy whose name no one cares about. Following a number of events, two numeros to recollect, a play strikes Athens, Pelik Lees gets sick, and Damos murders him. Damos murders him! Oh wait, I was there. And Ubisoft officially ups the ante, turning this into a proper Greek tragedy. Now, with child death. Phoebe, who's been Cassandra's friend and a major supporting character, someone who looked up to her and whom Cassandra cared about and loved, is also dead. Yes, that got really, really, really unexpectedly quickly. While in the series now, this is why the game went from pleasant pastime to this excellent story, that I was all of a sudden 100% invested in. Once Pericles got skewered by a baby bro, it was time to take this party on the road, and go and meet Mumsy Dearest. The sparsier, who is totally not evil, and Cassandra, who is totally not a self-righteous cannibal, decides it's finally time to go see Mummy Dearest. Cue the heartwarming reunion, Mum and daughter are back, and it's good and wonderful, and of course Mum is the leader of a bloody island in conflict, again orchestrated by the cult of cosmos. Don't these guys have anything better to do than mess with my family? Right, what follows is 40 hours of murdering cultists, losing yet more friends to cultists, trusting all the wrong people and discovering Atlantis, and my real 200 year old dad. Wait, what? Oh well, skip! And this, dear viewer, is exactly how much backstory you need in order to understand the following minutes and a half, thus recorded by me in a state of pure and utter and adulterated despair. Prepare yourselves, while the reveal will shock you to your very core. Hello and welcome, and I have a very important, very key question for you today. Is Cassandra the Eagle Bearer with Assassin's Creed Odyssey fame a cannibal? Now, before you turn off this video, listen to me very carefully, listen very closely, this is just going to take a minute, but as I was doing the side quest and hunting deer at the behest of one of two brothers in a Corinthian side quest, the brother is called Lykonos, I came across a bandit camp. Now naturally, because I am a good misteos, what I did was I killed the bandits, and as soon as I killed the captain, what Cassandra said was very, very, very nerving, and what she says is I quote, as she pulled her blade out of this captain, this villainous evil son of a gun, or whatever they had, son of an arrow in ancient Greece, what Cassandra said was this should be plenty of meat for Lykonos' dinner. I wrote those words down, and I am worried, I am really worried. Has Cassandra the Eagle Bearer been eating human meat all this time? What does that mean for her quest against the cult of cosmos? Does that mean that she no longer has the moral justification to take on these villainous, chaotic cultists? Find out in the next episode of Cassandra the Eagle Bearer, cannibal misteos. This video has been sponsored by Lutcrate, they are fantastic, a fantastic service, let me tell you, and definitely not fighting for bankruptcy or anything like that. Bye!