 Volume 5, chapter 7 of Cecilia. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Cecilia Memoirs of an Heiress by Francis Burney. Volume 5, chapter 7. A Bold Stroke. When Cecilia returned home, she heard with much concern that no tidings of Mr. Howell had yet been obtained. His lady, who did not stay out late, was now very seriously frightened, and entreated Cecilia to sit up with her till some news could be procured. She sent also for her brother, and they all three, in trembling expectation of what was to ensue, passed the whole night in watching. At six o'clock in the morning, Mr. Arnott besought his sister and Cecilia to take some rest, promising to go out himself to every place where Mr. Howell was known to resort, and not to return without bringing some account of him. Mrs. Howell, whose feelings were not very acute, finding the persuasions of her brother were seconded by her own fatigue, consented to follow his advice, and desired him to begin his search immediately. A few moments after he was gone, while Mrs. Howell and Cecilia were upon the stairs, they were startled by a violent knocking at the door. Cecilia, prepared for some calamity, hurried her friend back to the drawing-room, and then flying out of it again to inquire who entered, sought her equal surprise and relief from Mr. Howell himself. She ran back with the welcome information, and he instantly followed her. Mrs. Howell eagerly told him of her fright, and Cecilia expressed her pleasure at his return, but the satisfaction of neither was of long duration. He came into the room with a look of fierceness the most terrifying, his hat on, and his arms folded. He made no answer to what they said, but pushed back the door with his foot, and flung himself upon a sofa. Cecilia would now have withdrawn, but Mrs. Howell caught her hand to prevent her. They continued some minutes in this situation, and then Mr. Howell, suddenly rising, called out, Have you anything to pack up? Pack up! repeated Mrs. Howell. Lord bless me! For what? I am going abroad, he answered. I shall set off to-morrow. Abroad, cried she, bursting into tears. I am sure I hope not. Hope nothing! returned he, in a voice of rage, and then with a dreadful oaf, he ordered her to leave him and pack up. Mrs. Howell, wholly unused to such treatment, was frightened into violent hysterics, of which, however, he took no notice, but swearing at her for a fool who had been the cause of his ruin he left the room. Cecilia, though she instantly rang the bell and hastened to her assistance, was so much shocked by this unexpected brutality that she scarcely knew how to act or what to order. Mrs. Howell, however, soon recovered, and Cecilia accompanied her to her own apartment, where she stayed, and endeavored to soothe her until Mr. Arnold returned. The terrible state in which Mr. Howell had at last come home was immediately communicated to him, and his sister entreated him to use all his influence that the scheme for going abroad might be deferred at least, if not wholly given up. Fearfully he went on the embassy, but speedily and with a look wholly dismayed he returned. Mr. Howell, he said, told him that he had contracted a larger debt of honour than he had any means to raise, and as he could not appear till it was paid, he was obliged to quit the kingdom without delay. Oh, brother, cried Mrs. Howell, and can you suffer us to go? Alas, my dear sister, answered he, what can I do to prevent it, and who, why to, and ruined, will in future help you? Mrs. Howell then wept bitterly, nor could the gentle Mr. Arnold forbear, while he tried to comfort her, mixing his own tears with those of his beloved sister. But Cecilia, whose reason was stronger, and whose justice was offended, felt other sensations. And leaving Mr. Howell to the care of her brother, whose tenderness she infinitely compassionate, she retreated into her own room. Not, however, to rest, the dreadful situation of the family made her forget she wanted it, but to deliberate upon what course she ought herself to pursue. She determined without any hesitation against accompanying them in their flight, as the irreparable injury she was convinced she had already done her fortune was more than sufficient to satisfy the most romantic ideas of friendship and humanity. But her own place of abode must now immediately be changed, and her choice rested only between Mr. Delville and Mr. Briggs. Important, as were the obstacles which opposed her resident at Mr. Delville's, all that belonged to inclination and to happiness encouraged it. While with respect to Mr. Briggs, though the objections were lighter, there was not a single allurement. Yet, whenever the suspicion recurred to her that Miss Belfield was beloved by young Delville, she resolved all events to avoid him. But when better hopes intervened, and represented that his inquiries were probably accidental, the wish of being finally acquainted with his sentiments made nothing so desirable as an intercourse more frequent. Such still was her irresolution, when she received a message from Mr. Arnott to entreat the honour of seeing her. She immediately went downstairs and found him in the utmost distress. Oh, Miss Beverly, he cried, what can I do for my sister? What can I possibly devise to relieve her affliction? Indeed, I know not, said Cecilia. But the utter impracticability of preparing her for this blow, obviously as it has long been impending, makes it now fall so heavily a wish much to assist her. But her debts are unjustifiably contracted. Oh, Madame, interrupted he. Imagine not I sent to you with so treacherous a view as to involve you in our misery. Far too unworthily has your generosity already been abused. I only wish to consult you what I can do for my sister. Cecilia, after some little consideration, proposed that Mrs. Howell should still be left in England and under their joint care. Alas, cried he, I have already made that proposal. But Mr. Howell will not go without her, though his whole behaviour is so totally altered that I fear to trust her with him. Who is there then that has more weight with him? said Cecilia. Shall we send for Sir Robert Flawyer to second our request? To this Mr. Arnott assented, forgetting in his apprehension of losing his sister the pain he should suffer from the interference of his rival. The baronet presently arrived, and Cecilia, not choosing to apply to him herself, left him with Mr. Arnott and waited for intelligence in the library. In about an hour after, Mrs. Howell ran into the room, her tears dried up, and out of breath with joy, and called out, My dearest friend, my fate is now all in your hands, and I am sure you will not refuse to make me happy. What is it I can do for you, quite Cecilia, dreading some impracticable proposal? Ask me not, I beseech you what I cannot perform. No, no, answered she. What I ask requires nothing but good nature. Sir Robert Flawyer has been begging Mr. Howell to leave me behind, and he has promised to comply upon condition you will hasten your marriage and take me into your own house. My marriage? cried the astonished Cecilia. Here they were joined by Mr. Howell himself, who repeated the same offer. You both amaze and shock me, cried Cecilia. What is it you mean, and why do you talk to me so wildly? Miss Beverly, cried Mr. Howell, it is high time now to give up this reserve, and trifle no longer with a gentleman so unexceptionable as Sir Robert Flawyer. The whole town has long acknowledged him as your husband, and you are everywhere regarded as his bride. A little frankness, therefore, in accepting him will not only bind him to you forever, but do credit to the generosity of your character. At that moment Sir Robert himself burst into the room, and seizing one of her hands while both of them were uplifted in mute amazement, he pressed it to his lips, poured forth a volley of such compliments as he had ever before prevailed with himself to utter, and confidently entreated her to complete his long-attended happiness without the cruelty of further delay. Cecilia, almost petrified by the excess of her surprise at an attack so violent, so bold, and apparently so sanguine, was for some time scarce able to speak or to defend herself. But when Sir Robert, presuming on her silence, said she had made him the happiest of men, she indignantly drew back her hand, and with a look of displeasure that required little explanation would have walked out of the room. When Mr. Howell, in a tone of bitterness and disappointment, called out, Is this lady like tyranny then never to end? And so Robert, impatiently following her, said, And is my suspense to endure forever after so many months' attendance? This indeed is something too much, said Cecilia, turning back. You have been kept, sir, in no suspense. The whole tenor of my conduct has uniformly declared the same disapprobation I at present avow, and which my letter, at least, must have put beyond all doubt. Howell? exclaimed Sir Robert. Did you not tell me? Foe-foe! cried Howell. What signifies calling upon me? I never saw in Miss Beverly any disapprobation beyond what it is customary for young ladies of a sentimental turn to show. And everybody knows that where a gentleman is allowed to pay his divars for any length of time, no lady intends to use him very severely. And can you, Mr. Howell? cried Cecilia, after such conversations who have passed between us, persevere in this willful misapprehension, but it is vain to debate where all reasoning is disregarded, or to make any protestations where even rejection is received as a favour, and then, with an air of disdain, she insisted upon passing them and went to her own room. Mrs. Howell, however, still followed, and clinging round her, still subjugated her pity and compliance. What infatuation is this, cried Cecilia? Is it possible that you, too, can suppose I ever mean to accept Sir Robert? To be sure I do, answered she, for Mr. Howell has told me a thousand times that however you played the prude, you would be his at last. Cecilia, though doubly irritated against Mr. Howell, was now appeased with his lady, whose mistake, however ill-founded, offered an excuse for her behaviour. But she assured her in the strongest terms that her repugnance to the baronet was unalterable, yet told her she might claim from her every good office that was not wholly unreasonable. These words were words of slender comfort to Mrs. Howell, who well knew that her wishes and reason had but little affinity, and she soon, therefore, left the room. Cecilia then resolved to go instantly to Mrs. Delville, acquaint her with the necessity of her removal, and make her decision with her according to the manner in which her intelligence should be received. She sent, therefore, to order a chair, and was already in the hall, when she was stopped by the entrance of Mr. Moncton, who, addressing her with a look of haste and earnestness, said, I will not ask whether you are going so early, or upon what errand, for I must beg a moment's audience, be your business what it may. Cecilia then accompanied him to the deserted breakfast-room, which none but the servants had this morning entered, and there, grasping her hand, he said, Miss Beverly, you must fly this house directly. It is the region of disorder and licentiousness and unfit to contain you. She assured him that she was that moment preparing to quit it, but Begti would explain himself. I have taken care, he answered, for some time past, to be well informed of all the proceedings of Mr. Howell, and the intelligence I procured this morning is of the most alarming nature. I find he spent the night before the last entirely at a gaming-table where, intoxicated by a run of good luck, he passed the whole of the next day in rioting with his profligate intimates, and last night, returning again to his favourite amusement, he not only lost all he had gained, but much more than he could pay. Doubt not, therefore, but you will be called upon to assist him. He still considers you as his resource in terms of danger, and while he knows you are under his roof, he will always believe himself secure. Everything indeed conspires, said Cecilia, more shocked and surprised at this account, to make it necessary that I should quit his house. Yet I do not think he has at present any further expectations from me, as he came into the room this morning not merely without speaking to me, but behaved with a brutality to Mrs. Howell that he must be certain would give me disgust. It showed me, indeed, a new part of his character, for while as I have long thought of him, I did not suspect he could be guilty of such unmanly cruelty. The character of a game-ster, said Mr. Moncton, depends solely upon his luck. His disposition varies with every throw of the dice, and he is airy, gay and good-humoured, or sour, morose and savage, neither from nature nor from principle, but wholly by the caprice of chance. Cecilia then related to him the scene in which he had just been engaged with Sir Robert Floyd. This, cried he, is a manoeuvre I have been some time expecting, Mr. Howell, though artful and selfish, is by no means deep. The plan he had formed would have succeeded with some woman, and he therefore concluded it would with all. So many of your sex have been subdued by perseverance, and so many have been conquered by boldness, that he supposed when he united two such powerful besieges in the person of a baronet, he should vanquish all obstacles. By assuring you that the world thought the marriage already settled, he hoped to surprise you into believing there was no help for it, and by the suddenness and vehemence of his attack to frighten and hurry you into compliance. His own wife, he knew, might have been managed thus with ease, and so probably might his sister and his mother and his cousin, for in love matters, or what are so called, women in general are readily duped. He discerned not the superiority of your understanding to trick so shallow and impertinent, nor the firmness of your mind in maintaining its own independence. Without he was amply to have been rewarded for his assistance, and probably had you this morning been propitious, the baronet in return was to have cleared him from his present difficulty. Even in my own mind, said Cecilia, I can no longer defend him, for he could never have been so eager to promote the interest of Sir Robert in the present terrible situation of his own affairs had he not been stimulated by some secret motives. His schemes and his artifices, however, will now be utterly lost upon me, since your warning and advice, aided by my own suffering experience of the inutility of all I can do for him, will effectually guard me from all his future attempts. Rest no security upon yourself, said Mr. Moncton, since you have no knowledge of the many tricks and inventions by which you may yet be plundered. Perhaps he may beg permission to reside in your house in Suffolk, or desire an annuity for his wife, or choose to receive your first rents when you come of age, for his dagger and his bowl will not fail to procure him. A heart so liberal as yours can only be guarded by flight. You are going, you said, when I came. And with her? To St. James's Square, answered she, with a deep blush. Indeed, is young Delville then going abroad? Abroad? No, I believe not. Nay, I only imagined it from your choosing to reside in his house. I do not choose it, quite Cecilia, with quickness. But is not anything preferable to dwelling with Mr. Briggs? Certainly, said Mr. Moncton coolly. Nor should I have supposed he had any chance with you had I not hitherto observed that your convenience has always been sacrificed to your sense of propriety. Cecilia touched by praise so full of censure and earnest to vindicate her delicacy after an internal struggle which Mr. Moncton was too subtle to interrupt, protested she would go instantly to Mr. Briggs and see if it were possible to be settled in his house before she made any attempt to fix herself elsewhere. And when, said Mr. Moncton, I don't know answered she with some hesitation. Perhaps this afternoon. Why not this morning? I can go out nowhere this morning. I must stay with Mrs. Howell. You thought otherwise when I came, you were then content to leave her. Cecilia's alacrity, however, for changing her abode was now at an end, and she would feign have been left quietly to reconsider her plans. But Mr. Moncton urged so strongly the danger of her lengthen to stay in the house of so designing a man as Mr. Howell that he prevailed with her to quit it without delay and had himself the satisfaction of handing her to her chair. End of Chapter 7 Volume 5, Chapter 8 of Cecilia This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Ezwa in Belgium in May 2008. Cecilia, Memoirs of an Harris by Francis Burnie Volume 5, Chapter 8 A Miser's Mention Mr. Briggs was at home and Cecilia instantly and briefly informed him that it was inconvenient for her to live any longer at Mr. Howell's and that if she could be accommodated at his house, she should be glad to reside with him during the rest of her minority. Shall, shall, cried he extremely pleased, take you with all my heart, warrant Master Howell's made a good penny of you, not a bit the better for dressing so fine, many a rogue in a gold lace hat. Cecilia begged to know what apartments he could spare for her. Take you upstairs, cried he, show you a place for a queen. He then led her upstairs and took her to a room entirely dark and so close for want of air that she could hardly breathe in it. She retreated to the landing place till he had opened the shutters and then saw an apartment the most forlorn she had ever beheld, containing no other furniture than a ragged stuffed bed to worn out rush-bottomed chairs, an old wooden box and a bit of broken glass which was fastened to the wall by two bent nails. See here, my little chick, cried he, everything ready and a box for your gym-cracks into the bargain. You don't mean this place for me, sir? cried Cecilia, staring. Do, do, cried he, a deal nicer by and by, only once a little furbishing, soon put two rides, never sweep a room out of use, without brooms for nothing. But, sir, can I not have an apartment on the first floor? No, no, something else to do with it belongs to the club, secrets in all things. Make this do well enough. Come again next week. We're quite a new face. Nothing wanting but a table. Pick your toilet or brokers. But I am obliged, sir, to leave Mr. Harrell's house directly. Well, well, make shift without a table at first. No great matter if you hand one at all. Nothing particular to do with it. Want another blanket, though? Nowhere to get one. A very good broker hard buy. Understand how to deal with him. A close dog, but warm. I have also two servants, sir, said Cecilia. Won't have them, shan't come. Eat me out of house and home. Whatever they eat, sir, answered she, will be wholly at my expense, as will everything else that belongs to me. Better get rid of them. Hate servants, all a pack of frogs, think of nothing but stuffing and guzzling. Then, opening another door, see here, he cried, my own room just by, snug as a church. Cecilia following him into it, lost a great part of her surprise at the praise he had lavished upon that which he distinct for herself, by perceiving his own, was yet more scantily furnished, having nothing in it but a miserable bed without any curtains and a large chest which, while it contained his clothes, sufficed both for table and chair. What are you doing here? cried he angrily to a maid who was making the bed. Can't you take more care? Beat out all the feathers, see? Two on the ground. Nothing but waste and extravagance. Never mind how soon a man's ruined. Come to want, you slut, see that, come to want. I can never want more than I do here, said the girl, so that's one comfort. Cecilia now began to repent she had made known the purpose of her visit, for she found it would be utterly impossible to accommodate either her mind or her person to a residence such as was here to be obtained, and she only wished Mr. Moncton had been present, that he might be convinced of the impracticability of his scheme. Her whole business, therefore, now was to retract her offer and escape from the house. I see so, said she, when he turned from his servant, that I cannot be received here without inconvenience, and therefore I will make some new arrangement in my plan. No, no, cried he, like to have you, it is but fair all in our turn, won't be coerced. Master Harrell's had his share. Sorry could not get you that sweet heart, would not bite, soon find out another, never fret. But there are so many things with which I cannot possibly dispense, said Cecilia, that I am certain my removing either would occasion you far more trouble than you at present foresee. No, no, get all in order soon, go about myself, know how to bid, understand trap, always go shabby, know making a bargain in a good coat, look sharp at the goods, say they won't do, come away, send somebody else for him, never go twice myself, nothing got cheap if one seems to have a hankering. But I am sure it is not possible, said Cecilia, hurring downstairs, that my room and one for each of my servants should be ready in time. Yes, yes, cried he following her, ready in a trice, make a little shift at first, double the blank until we get another, lie with the maid a night or two, never stand for a trifle. And when she was seated in her chair, the whole time disclaiming her intention of returning, he only pinched her cheek with a facetious smirk and said, bye, bye, little duck, come again soon, warrant I'll have the room ready. Shant half know it again, make it as smart as a carrot. And then she left the house, fully satisfied that no one could blame her refusing to inhabit it, and much less regrained than she was willing to suppose herself in finding she had now no resource but in the dowels. Yet in her serious reflections, she could not but think herself strangely unfortunate that the guardian with whom alone it seemed proper for her to reside should be parsimony, vulgarity and deanness, render riches contemptible, prosperity unavailing and economy odious. And that the choice of her uncle should thus unhappily have fallen upon the lowest and most wretched of misers, in a city abounding with opulence, hospitality and splendor, and of which the principal inhabitants long eminent for their wealth and their property were now almost universally rising in elegance and liberality. End of Chapter 8 Volume 5 Chapter 9 of Cecilia This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Amanda Hindman Cecilia Memoirs of an Heiress by Francis Verney Volume 5 Chapter 9 A Declaration Cecilia's next progress, therefore, was to St. James's Square, with her she went in the utmost anxiety, from her uncertainty of the reception with which her proposal would meet. The servants informed her that Mr. and Mistress Delville were at breakfast and that the Duke of Derwent and his two daughters were with them. Before such witnesses the reasons of her leaving the harmless was impossible. And from such a party to send for Mistress Delville, would, by her stately guardian, be deemed an end to quorum unpardonable. She was obliged, therefore, to return to Portman Square in order to open her cause in a letter to Mistress Delville. Mr. Arnaught, flying instantly to meet her, called out, O Madam, what alarm has your absence occasioned? I see you no more. Mr. Harold feared a premature discovery of his purposed retreat, and we have all been under the cruelest apprehensions lest you meant not to come back. I am sorry I spoke not with you before I went out, said Cecilia, accompanying him to the library, but I thought you were all too much occupied to miss me. I have been, indeed, preparing for a removal, but I meant not to leave your need to quit any part of the family with so little ceremony. Is Mr. Harold still firm to his last plan? I fear so. I have tried what is possible to dissuade him, and my poor sister has wept without ceasing. Indeed, if she will take no consolation, I believe I shall do what she pleases, for I cannot bear the sight of her in such distress. You are too generous and too good, said Cecilia, and I know not from danger myself, to forebear counseling you to avoid it also. Ah, madam, cried he, the greatest danger for me is what I have now no power to run from. Cecilia, though she could not but understand him, felt not the less his friend for knowing him the humblest of her admirers, and as she saw the threatening ruin to which his too great tenderness exposed him, she kindly said, Mr. Arnott, I will speak to you. It is not difficult to see that the destruction which awaits Mr. Harrell is ready also to ensnare his brother-in-law, but let not that blindness to the future which we have so often lamented for him hereafter be lamented for yourself. Till his present connections are broken and his way of living is changed, nothing can be done for him, and whatever you are to advance would merely be sunk at the gaming table. Reserve morality till it may indeed be of service to him, for believe me at present his mind is as much injured as his fortune. And is it possible, madam, said Mr. Arnott, in an accent of surprise and delight, that you can dane to be interested in what may become of me, and that my sharing or escaping the ruin of this house is not wholly indifferent to you? Certainly not, answered Cecilia, as the brother of my earliest friend, I can never be insensible to your welfare. Ah, madam, cried he, as her brother, oh, that there were any other tie. Think a little, said Cecilia, preparing to quit the room, of what I have mentioned, and for your sister's sake be firm now if you would be kind hereafter. I will be any and everything, cried he, that Miss Beverly will command. Cecilia was fearful of any misinterpretation, then came back and gravely said, No, sir, be ruled only by your own judgment, or should my advice have any weight with you, remember it is given from the most disinterested motives, and with no other view than that of securing your power to be of service to your sister. For that sister's sake, then, have the goodness to hear my situation and honor me with further directions. You will make me fair to speak, said Cecilia, if you give so much consequence to my opinion. I have seen, however, nothing in your conduct I have ever wished to change except too little attention to your own interest and affairs. Ah, cried he, with what rapture should I hear those words? Could I but imagine? Come, come, said Cecilia, smiling, no digression. You called me back to talk of your sister. If you change your subject, perhaps use your auditor. I would not, madam, for the world encroach upon your goodness. The favor I have found has indeed always exceeded my expectations as it has always surpassed my dessert. Yet has it never blinded me to my own unworthiness. Do not, then, fear to indulge me with your conversation. I shall draw from it no inferences but of pity. And though pity from Miss Beverly is the sweetest balm to my heart, it shall never seduce me to the encouragement of higher hopes. Cecilia had long had reason to expect such a declaration, yet she heard it with unaffected concern and looked at him with the utmost gentleness and said, Mr. Arnaught, your regard does me honor and were it somewhat more rational would give me pleasure. Take, then, from it what is more than I wish or merit and while you preserve the rest be assured it will be faithfully returned. Your rejection is so mild, cried he, that I, who had no hope of acceptance, find relief in having at last told my sufferings, could I but continue to see you every day and to be blessed with your conversation. I think I should be happy and I am sure I should be grateful. You are already, answered she, shaking her head and moving towards the door, infringing the conditions upon which our friendship is to be founded. Do not go, madam, he cried, till I have done what you have just promised to permit. Acquainted you with my situation and been honored with your advice. I must own to you, then, that five thousand pounds which I had in the stocks, as well as a considerable sum in a banker's hands I have parted with, as I now find forever but I have no heart for refusal, nor would my sister at this moment be thus distressed but that I have nothing doubt I cut down my trees or sell some farm, since all I was worth except my landed property is already gone. What, therefore, I can now do to save Mr. Harrell from this desperate expedition, I know not. I am sorry, said Cecilia, to speak with severity of one so nearly connected with you, yet suffer me to ask, why should he be saved from it at all and what is there he can at present do better? Has not he long threatened with every evil that is now arrived? Have we not both warned him and have not the clamors of his creditors assailed him yet what has been the consequence? He has not submitted to the smallest change in any way of life. He has not denied himself a single indulgence, nor spared any expense, nor thought of any reformation. Luxury has followed luxury and he has only grown fonder of extravagance, as extravagance and more dangerous, till the present storm, therefore blows over, leave him to his fate and when a calm succeeds I will myself, for the sake of Priscilla, aid you to save what is possible of the wreck. All you say, madam, is as wise as it is good and now I am acquainted with your opinion I will wholly new model myself upon it and grow as steady against all attacks as hitherto I have been yielding. Priscilla was then retiring, but again detaining her he said, you spoke, madam, of a removal and indeed it is high time you should quit this scene, yet I hope you intend not to go till tomorrow, as Mr. Harrell has declared your leaving him sooner will be his destruction. Heaven forbid, said Priscilla, for I mean to be gone with all the speed in my power. Mr. Harrell, answered he, did not explain himself, but I believe he reserting his house at this critical time will raise the suspicion of his own design of going abroad and to make his creditors interfere to prevent him. To what a wretched state, cried Priscilla, has he reduced himself. I will not, however, be the voluntary instrument of his disgrace and if you think my stay is so material to his security I will continue here till tomorrow morning. Mr. Arnaught almost wept his thanks for this concession and Sicilia happy in making it to him instead of Mr. Harrell then went to her own room and wrote the following letter to Misra's Delville To the honorable Misra's Delville, St. James Square Portman Square June 12 Dear Madam, I am willing to hope you have been rather surprised that I have not sooner availed myself of the permission with which you yesterday honored me of spending this whole day with you, but fortunately for myself I am prevented waiting upon you even for any part of it. Do not, however, think me now ungrateful if I stay away, nor tomorrow impertinent if I venture to inquire whether that apartment which you had once the goodness to appropriate to my use may then again be spared for me. The accidents which have prompted this strange request will I trust be sufficient apology for the liberty I take in making it when I have the honor to see you and acquaint you what they are. I am, with the utmost respect, dear Madam, your most obedient, humble servant, Cecilia Beverly. She would not have been thus concise had not the caution of Mr. Arnott made her fear in the present perilous situation of affairs to trust the secret of Mr. Harrell to paper. The following answer was returned to her from Misra's Delville To Miss Beverly Portman Square Accidents you mention are not, I hope, of a very serious nature since I shall find difficulty insurmountable in trying to lament them if they are productive of a lengthened visit from my dear Miss Beverly to her faithful humble servant, Augusta Delville. Cecilia, charmed with this note, could now no longer forbear looking forward to brighter prospects flattering herself that once under the roof of Misra's Delville she must necessarily be happy, let the arrangements or behavior of her son be what they might. End of Chapter 9 Recorded by Amanda Heineman and Glenn Mississippi www.livinginbooks.blogspot.com Volume 5, Chapter 10 of Cecilia This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Amanda Heineman Cecilia, Memoirs of an Eris by Frances Burney Volume 5, Chapter 10 A Gamestress Conscience From this soothing prospect Cecilia was presently disturbed by Misra's heralds maid who came to entreat she would hasten to her lady whom she feared was going into fits. Cecilia flew to her immediately and found her in the most violent kind effort in her power to quiet and console her, but it was not without the utmost difficulty she could sob at the cost of this fresh sorrow which indeed was not trifling. Mr. Harrell, she said, had told her he could not possibly raise money even for his traveling expenses without risking a discovery of his project and being seized by his creditors. He had therefore charged her through her brother or her friend to procure for him three thousand pounds as less would not suffice and he knew no method by which he could have any reminences without danger, and when she hesitated in her compliance he furiously accused her of having brought on all this distress by her negligence and want of management, and declared that if she did not get the money she would only be served as she merited by starving in a foreign gaol which he swore would be the fate of them both. The horror and indignation with which Cecilia heard this account were unspeakable. She saw evidently that she was again played upon by terror and distress and the cautions and opinions of Mr. Mockton no longer appeared over strained. One year's income was already demanded. The annuity and the country house might next be required. She rejoiced, however, that thus wisely forewarned she was not liable to surprise and she determined be there in treaties or representations what they might to be immovably steady in her purpose of leaving them the next morning. Yet she could not but grieve at suffering the whole burden of this clamorous imposition to fall upon the soft-hearted Mr. Arnott, whose inability to resist solicitation made him so unequal to sustaining its weight. But when Mistress Harrell was again able to go on with her account, she heard to her infinite surprise that all application to her brother had proved fruitless. He will not hear me, continued Mistress Harrell, and he never was deaf to me before, so now I have lost my only and last resource. My brother himself gives me up and there is no one else upon earth who will assist me. With pleasure, with readiness, with joy cried Cecilia, should you find assistance for me were it to you alone it were given, but to supply fuel for the very fire that is consuming you, no, no my whole heart is hardened against gaming and game-sters, and neither now nor ever will I suffer any consideration to soften me in their favor. Mistress Harrell only answered by tears and lamentations, and Cecilia whose justice shut not out compassion having now declared her purposed firmness, again attempted to soothe her in treating her not to give way to such immoderate grief, since better prospects might arise from the very gloom now before her, and a short time spent in solitude and economy might enable her to return to her native land with recovered happiness. No, I shall never return, cried she, weeping, I shall die, I shall break my heart before I have been banished a month. O Miss Beverly, how happy are you, able to stay where you please, rich, rolling in wealth which you do not want, of which had we but one year's income only all this misery would be over, and we might stay in our dear, dear country. Cecilia struck by a hint that so nearly bordered upon reproach, and offended by seeing the impossibility of ever doing enough while anything remained to be done, for borne not without difficulty inquiring what next was expected from her, and whether any part of her fortune might be guarded without giving room for some censure. But the deep affliction of Mistress Harold soon removed her resentment, and scarcely thinking her, while in a state of such wretchedness, answerable for what she said, after a little recollection she mildly replied, As affluence is all comparative, you may at present think I have more than my share, but the time is only this moment past when your own situation seemed as subject to the envy of others as mine may be now. My future destiny is yet undetermined, and the occasion I may have for my fortune is unknown to myself, but whether I possess it in peace or in turbulence, whether it proves to me a blessing or an injury, so long as I can call it my own, I shall always remember with alacrity the claim upon that, and upon me, which early friendship has so justly given Mistress Harold, yet permit me at the same time to add that I do not hold myself so entirely independent as you may probably suppose me. I have not considered this true any relations to call me to account, but respect for their memory supplies the place of their authority, and I cannot in the distribution of the fortune which has devolved to me, for bear sometimes considering how they would have wished it should be spent, and always remembering that what was acquired by industry and labor should never be dissipated in idleness and vanity. Forgive me for thus speaking to the point, you will not find me less friendly to yourself for this frankness with me. Tears were again the only answer of Mistress Harold, yet Cecilia who pitied the weakness of her mind stayed by her with the most patient kindness till the servants announced dinner. She then declared she would not go downstairs, but Cecilia so strongly represented the danger of awakening suspicion in the servants that she at last prevailed with her to make her appearance. Mr. Harold was already in the parlor, and inquiring for Mr. R. Nott, but was told by the servants he had sent word he had to the management. Sir Robert Foyer also kept away, and for the first time since her arrival in town, Cecilia dined with no other company than the master and mistress of the house. Mistress Harold could eat nothing, Cecilia merely to avoid creating surprise in the servants for bore following her example. But Mr. Harold ate much as usual, talked all dinner time, was extremely civil to Cecilia, and discovered Nott by his manners, the least alteration in his affairs. When the servants were gone, he desired his wife to step for a moment with him into the library. They soon returned, and then Mr. Harold, after walking in a disordered manner about the room, rang the bell, and ordered his hat and cane, and as he took them said, If this fails, and stopping short, without speaking to his wife, or even bowing to Cecilia, he hastily went out of the house. Mistress Harold told Cecilia that he had merely called her to know the event of her two petitions, and heard her double failure in total silence. Whether he was now gone, it was not easy to conjecture, nor what was the new resource, which he still seemed to think worth trying. But the manner of his quitting the house, and the threat implied by, if this fails, contributed not to lessen the grief of Mistress Harold, and gave to Cecilia herself the utmost alarm. They continued together till tea time, the servants having been ordered to admit no company. Mr. Harold himself then returned, and returned to the amazement of Cecilia, accompanied by Mr. Marriott. He presented that young man to both the ladies as a gentleman whose acquaintance and friendship he was very desirous to cultivate. Mistress Harold, too much absorbed in her own affairs to care about any other, saw his entrance with a momentary surprise, and then thought of it no more. But it was not so with Cecilia, whose better understanding led her to deeper reflection. Even the visits of Mr. Marriott, but a few weeks since, Mr. Harold had prohibited. Yet he now introduced him into his house with particular distinction. He came back to himself in admirable spirits, enlivened in his countenance, and restored to his good humor. A change so extraordinary both in conduct and disposition convinced her that some change no less extraordinary of circumstance must previously have happened. What that might be, it was not possible for her to divine. But the lessons she had received from Mr. Mockton led her to suspicions of the darkest kind. Every part of his behavior served still further to confirm them. He was civil even to excess to Mr. Marriott. He gave orders allowed not to be at home to Sir Robert Floyer. He made his court to Cecilia with unusual assiduity. And he took every method in his power to procure opportunity for her admirer of addressing and approaching her. The young man who seemed enamored even to madness, could scarce refrain not merely from prostration to the object of his passion, but to Mr. Harrell himself for permitting him to see her. Cecilia, who not without some concern perceived a fondness so fruitless, and who knew not by what arts or with what views Mr. Harrell might think proper to encourage it, determined to take all the means that were in her own power towards giving it immediate control. She behaved therefore with the utmost reserve and the moment he was over, though earnestly entreated to remain with them, she retired to her own room, without making any other apology than coldly saying she could not stay. In about an hour, Mrs. Harrell ran upstairs to her. Oh, Miss Beverly, she cried. A little respite is now granted me. Mr. Harrell says he shall stay another day. He says, too, one single thousand pound would now make him a new man. Cecilia returned no answer. She conjectured some new deceit was in agitation to raise money, and she feared Mr. Marriott was the next jeep to be played upon. Mrs. Harrell therefore of the utmost disappointment left her, saying she would send for her brother and once more try if he had yet any remaining regard for her. Cecilia rested quiet till eleven o'clock when she was summoned to supper. She found Mr. Marriott still the only guest, and that Mr. Arnaut made not his appearance. She now resolved to publish her resolution of going the next morning to St. James' Square. As soon therefore as the servants withdrew, she inquired Mr. Harrell if he had any commands with Mr. Harrell or Mistress Delville as she should see them the next morning and purpose to spend some time with them. Mr. Harrell, with a look of much alarm, asked if she meant the whole day. Many days she answered and probably some months. Mistress Harrell exclaimed her surprise aloud, and Mr. Harrell looked aghast. While his new young friend cast upon him a glance of reproach and resentment which fully convinced Cecilia, he imagined he had procured himself a glance to an easiness of intercourse and frequency of meeting which this intelligence destroyed. Cecilia thinking after all that had passed no other ceremony on her part was necessary but that of simply speaking her intention, then arose and returned to her own room. She acquainted her maid that she was going to make a visit to Mistress Delville and gave her directions about packing up her clothes and sending for a man in the morning to take care of her books. This employment was soon interrupted by Mistress Harrell, who, desiring to speak with her alone, when the maid was gone, said, O Miss Beverly, can you indeed be so barbarous as to leave me? I entreat you, Mistress Harrell, answered Cecilia, to save both yourself and me any further discussions. I have delayed this removal very long and I can now delay it no longer. Mistress Harrell then flung herself upon a chair in the bitterest sorrow declaring she was utterly undone that Mr. Harrell had declared that she could not stay even an hour in England if she was not in his house, that he had already had a violent quarrel with Mr. Marriott upon the subject and that her brother, though she had sent him the most earnest in treaties, would not come near her. Cecilia, tired of vain attempts to offer comfort, now urged the warmest expostulations against her opposition, strongly representing the real necessity of her going abroad and the unpardonable weakness of wishing to continue such a life as she now led, debt to debt, and hoarding distress upon distress. Mistress Harrell then, though rather from compulsion than conviction, declared she would agree to go if she had not a dread of ill usage. But Mr. Harrell, she said, had behaved to her with the utmost brutality, calling her the cause of his ruin and threatening that if she procured not this thousand pound before the ensuing evening, she should be treated as she deserved for her extravagance and folly. She then said to Mr. Harrell, that I am to be frightened through your fears into what compliance he pleases. Oh, no, cried Mistress Harrell, no, his expectations are all from my brother. He surely thought that when I supplicated and pleaded to him, he would do what I wished, for so he always did formerly, and so once again I am sure he would do now could I but make him come to me, and tell him how I am used, and tell him that if Mr. Harrell takes me he will half-murder me. Cecilia, who well knew she was herself the real cause of Mr. Arnott's resistance, now felt her resolution waver, internally reproaching herself with the sufferings of his sister. Alarmed, however, for her own constancy, she earnestly besought Mistress Harrell to go and compose herself for the night, and promise to deliberate what could be done for her before morning. Mistress Harrell complied, but scarce was her unrest more broken than though extremely fatigued with the whole night's watching, was so perturbed in her mind she could not close her eyes. Mistress Harrell was her earliest, and had once been her dearest friend. She had deprived her by her own advice of her customary refuge in her brother. To refuse, therefore, assistance to her seemed cruelty, though to deny it to Mr. Harrell was justice. She endeavored, therefore, to make a compromise between her judgment and compassion by resolving what she remained in London. She would contribute, from time to time, both to his necessities and comfort when once he was established elsewhere upon some plan of prudence and economy. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Chapter 11 A Persecution The next morning, by five o'clock, Mistress Harrell came into Cecilia's room to know the result of her deliberation, and Cecilia, with that graceful readiness which accompanied all her kind offices, instantly assured her the thousand pound should be her own, if she would consent to seek some quiet retreat and receive it in small sums of fifty or one hundred pounds at a time, which should be carefully transmitted and which, by being treated from Mr. Harrell, and to be emotive to revive his care and affection. She flew, much delighted with this proposal to her husband, but presently and with a dejected look returning, said Mr. Harrell, protested he could not possibly sit out without first receiving the money. I shall go myself, therefore, said she, to my brother after breakfast, for he will not, I see, unkind as he has grown, come to me, and if I do not succeed with him, I believe I shall never come back. Mr. Cecilia offended and disappointed, answered, I am sorry for Mr. Arnott, but for myself I have done. Mistress Harrell then left her and she arose to make immediate preparations for her removal to St. James's Square. With her, with all the speed in her power, she sent her books, her trunks, and all that belonged to her. When she was summoned downstairs, she found, for the first time, Mr. Harrell breakfasting at the same table with his wife. They seemed mutually out of humor and comfortless. Nothing broken, and little was swallowed. Mr. Harrell, however, was civil, but his wife was totally silent, and Cecilia the whole time was planning how to take her leave. When the tea things were removed, Mr. Harrell said, you have not, I hope, Miss Beverly, quite determined upon this strange scheme. Indeed I have, sir, she answered, and already I have sent my clothes. At this information he seemed thunderstruck. But, after somewhat recovering, said with much bitterness, well, madam, at least may I request you will stay here till the evening. No, sir, answered she coolly. I am going instantly. And will you not, said he, with yet greater asperity, amuse yourself first with seeing bailiffs take possession of my house, and your friend Priscilla follow me to jail? Good God, Mr. Harrell, exclaimed Cecilia with uplifted hands. Is this a question? Is this behavior I have merited? Oh, no, cried he with quickness. Should I once think that way, surprising and striking his forehead, he walked about the room. Mistress Harrell arose, too, and weeping violently went away. Will you at least, said Cecilia, when she was gone, till your affairs are settled, leave Priscilla with me. When I go into my own house, she shall accompany me. And, meantime, Mr. Arnautz I am sure will gladly be open to her. No, no, answered he. She deserves no such indulgence. She has not any reason to complain. She has been as negligent, as profuse, as expensive as myself. She has practiced neither economy nor self-denial. She has neither thought of me nor my affairs, nor has she now afflicted at anything but the loss of that affluence she has done her best towards diminishing. All recriminations, said Cecilia, were vain, or what might not measures Harrell's urge in return. But let us not enlarge upon so ungrateful a subject. The wisest and the happiest scheme now were mutually and kindly to console each other. Consolation and kindness, cried he with abruptness, are out of the question. I have ordered to post shades to be here at night. And if till then you will stay, I will promise to release you without further petition. If not, eternal destruction be my portion if I live to see the scene which your removal will occasion. My removal, cried Cecilia shuddering, good heaven, and how can my removal be of such dreadful consequence? Ask me not, cried he fiercely, questions or reasons now. The crisis is at hand, and you will soon happen what may know all. Meantime, what I have said is a fact and immutable, and you must hasten my end or give me a chance for avoiding it, as you think fit. I scarce care at this instant which way you decide. Remember however, all I ask of you is to defer your departure. What else I have to hope is from Mr. Arnott. He then left the room. Cecilia now was again a coward. In vain she called to her support the advice, the prophecies, the cautions of Mr. Malkton. In vain she recollected the impositions she had already seen practiced. For neither the warnings of her counselor, nor the lessons of her own experience, were proofs against the terrors which threats so desperate and inspired. And though more than once she determined to fly at all events from a tyranny, he had so little right to usurp. The mere remembrance of the words, if you stay not till night, I will not live, robbed her of all courage, and however long she had prepared herself for this very attack, when the moment arrived its power over her mind was too strong for resistance. While this conflict between fear and resolution was still undecided, her servant brought her the following letter from Mr. Arnott. To Ms. Beverly, Portman Square June 13th, 1779 Madam, determined to obey those commands which you had the goodness to honor me with, I have absented myself from until Mr. Harrell is settled. For though I am as sensible of your wisdom as of your beauty, I find myself too weak to bear the distress of my unhappy sister and therefore I run from the sight. Nor shall any letter or message follow me unless it comes from Ms. Beverly herself, lest she should in future refuse the only favor I dare presume to solicit, that of sometimes dating to honor, with her directions, the most humble and devoted of her servants. J. Arnott In the midst of her apprehensions for herself and her own interests, Cecilia could not for bear rejoicing that Mr. Arnott, at least, had escaped the present storm, yet she was certain it would follow the more heavily upon herself and dreaded the sight of Ms. Harrell after the shock which this flight would occasion. Her expectations were but too quickly fulfilled. Ms. Harrell, in a short time after, rushed wildly into the room, calling out, my brother is gone. He has left me forever. Oh, save me, Ms. Beverly! Save me from abuse and insult! And she wept with so much violence she could utter nothing more. Cecilia, quite tortured by this persecution, faintly asked what she could do for her. Send, cried she, to my brother and beseech him not to abandon me. Send to him and conjure him to advance this thousand pound. The chaise is already ordered. Mr. Harrell is fixed upon going, yet he says without that money we must both starve in a strange land. Oh, send to my cruel brother. He has left word that nothing must not come from you. For the world, then, cried Cecilia, would I not baffle his discretion? Indeed, you must submit to your fate. Indeed, Ms. Harrell, you must endeavor to bear it better. Ms. Harrell, shedding a flood of tears, declared she would try to follow her advice, but again besought her in the utmost agony to send after her brother, protesting she did not think even her life would be safe in making so long a journey with Mr. Harrell in his present state of mind. After his death, the world was totally changed. His gaiety, good humor, and sprightliness were turned into roughness and moroseness, and since his great losses at play, he was grown so fierce and furious that to oppose him even in a trifle rendered him quite outrageous in passion. Cecilia, though truly concerned and almost melted, yet refused to interfere with Mr. Arnott, and even thought it but justice to acknowledge she had advised his wife, facing violence of sorrow, to rob me of my only friend, to deprive me of my brother's affection at the very time I am forced out of the kingdom with a husband who is ready to murder me and who says he hates the sight of me, and all because I cannot get him this fatal fatal money. Oh, Ms. Beverly, how could I have thought to have had such an office from you? Cecilia was beginning a justification when a message came from Mr. Harrell, desiring to see his wife Mrs. Harrell in great terror cast herself at Cecilia's feet and clinging to her knees called out. I dare not go to him. I dare not go to him. He wants to know my success, and when he hears my brother is run away, I am sure he will kill me. Oh, Ms. Beverly, how could you send him away? How could you be so inhuman as to leave me to the rage of Mr. Harrell? Cecilia, distressed and trembling herself, conjured her to rise and be consoled, but Mrs. Harrell, frightened, could only weep and supplicate. I don't ask you, she cried, to give the money yourself, but only to send for my brother that he may protect me and beg Mr. Harrell not to treat me so cruelly. Consider but what a long, long journey I am going to make. Consider how often you used to say you would love me forever. Consider you have robbed me of the tenderest brother in the world. Oh, Ms. Beverly, send for him back or be a sister to me yourself and let not your poor Priscilla leave her native land without help or pity. Cecilia, holy overcome, now knelt to and embracing her with tears said, oh Priscilla, plead and reproach no more. What you wish shall be yours. I will send for your brother. I will do what you please. Now you are my friend indeed, cried Mr. Harrell. Let me but see my brother and his heart will yield to my distress, and he will soften Mr. Harrell by giving me sister this parting bounty. Cecilia then took a pen in her hand to write to Mr. Arnaught, but struck almost in the same moment with a notion of treachery and calling him from a retreat which her own council made him seek, professedly to expose him to a supplication which from his present situation might lead him to ruin. She hastily flung it from her and exclaimed, no excellent Mr. Arnaught, I will not so unworthily betray you. And can you, Ms. Beverly, can you at last, cried Mr. Harrell, be so barbarous as to retract? No, my poor Priscilla answered Cecilia. I cannot so cruelly disappoint you. My pity shall however make no sufferer but myself. I cannot send for Mr. Arnaught. From me you must have the money, and may it answer the purpose for which it is given, and restore to you the tenderness of your husband, and the peace of your own heart. Priscilla, scarce waiting to thank her, flew with this intelligence to Mr. Harrell, who, with the same impetuosity, scarce waiting to say he was glad of it, ran himself to bring the Jew from whom the money was to be procured. Everything was soon settled. Cecilia had no time for retracting and repentance they had not the delicacy to regard. Again therefore she signed her name for paying the principal and interest of another thousand pound within ten days after she was of age, and having taken the money she accompanied Mr. and Mrs. Harrell into another present. Presenting it then with an effecting solemnity to Mr. Harrell, except Priscilla, she cried this irrefragable mark of the sincerity of my friendship, but suffered me at the same time to tell you it is the last to so considerable an amount I ever mean to offer. Receive it therefore with kindness but use it with discretion. She then embraced her, and eager now to avoid acknowledgment, as before she had been to escape in opportunities, she left them compensive, succouring benevolence followed not this gift, nor made amends for this loss, perplexity and uneasiness, regret and resentment accompanied the donation and rested upon her mind. She feared she had done wrong. She was certain Mr. Mockton would blame her. He knew not the persecution she suffered, nor would he make any allowance for the threats which alarmed or the entreaties which melted her. Far other had been her feelings at the generosity she then tormented her, and no repentance embittered her beneficence. Their worth was without suspicion, and their misfortunes were not of their own seeking. The post in which they had been stationed they had never deserted, and the poverty into which they had sunk was accidental and unavoidable. But here every evil had been wantonly incurred by vanity and licentiousness, and shamelessly followed by injustice and fraud. The disturbance of her mind only increased by reflection. For when the rites of the creditors with their injuries occurred to her, she inquired of herself by what title or equity she had so liberally assisted Mr. Harrell in eluding their claims, and flying the punishment which the law would inflict. Startled by this consideration she most severely reproached herself for a compliance of which she had so lightly weighed the consequences, and thought with the utmost dismay that while she had flattered herself she was merely indulging the dictates of humanity. She would not be accused by the world as a better of guile and injustice. And yet she continued, whom can I essentially have injured but myself? Would his creditors have been benefited by my refusal? Had I braved the execution of his dreadful threat, and quitted his house before I was wrought upon to assist him, would his suicide have lessened their losses, or secured their demands? Even if he had no intention but to intimidate me, who will be wronged by my fraud? Or who would be better paid where he seized and confined? All that remains of his shattered fortune may still be claimed, though I have saved him from a lingering imprisonment desperate for himself and his wife and useless for those he has plundered. And thus, now soothed by the purity of her intentions, and now uneasy from the rectitude of her principles, she alternately rejoiced and repined at what she had done. At dinner Mr. Harrell was all civility and good humor. He warmly said to Cecilia for the kindness she had shuned him, and gaily added, you should be absolved from all the mischief you may do for a twelve month to come in reward for the preservation from mischief which you have this day affected. The preservation, said Cecilia, will I hope be for many days. But tell me, sir, exactly at what time I may acquaint Mistress Delville I shall wait upon her. Perhaps he answered by eight o'clock, perhaps by nine. You will not mind half an hour. Certainly not, she answered, disputing about a trifle to diminish his satisfaction in her assistance. She wrote, therefore, another note to Mistress Delville, desiring she would not expect her till near ten o'clock, and promising to account and apologize for these seeming caprices when she had the honor of seeing her. The rest of the afternoon she spent wholly in exhorting Mistress Harrell to shoe more fortitude, and conjuring her to studying nothing while abroad but economy, prudence, and housewifery. A lesson how hard for the thoughtless heard the advice with repugnance, and only answered it with helpless complaints that she knew not how to spend less money than she had always done. After tea, Mistress Harrell, still in high spirits, went out, intruding Cecilia to stay with Priscilla till his return, which he promised should be early. Nine o'clock, however, came, and he did not appear. Cecilia then grew anxious to keep her appointment with Mistress Delville, but ten o'clock also came, and still, Mistress Harrell was absent. She then determined to wait and then rang her bell for her servant and chair. But when Mistress Harrell desired to be informed the moment that Mistress Harrell returned, the man said he had been come home more than half an hour. Much surprised, she inquired where he was in his own room, madam, and gave orders not to be disturbed. Cecilia, who was not much pleased at this account, was easily persuaded to stay a few minutes longer and fearing some new evil, she was going to send him a message by way of knowing how he was employed when he came into the room. Well, ladies, he cried in a hurrying manner, who is for Box Hall. Box Hall, repeated Mistress Harrell, while Cecilia, staring, perceived in his face a look of perturbation that extremely alarmed her. Come, come, he cried, we have no time to lose. A hackney coach will serve us. We won't wait for our own. Have you then given up going abroad, said Mistress Harrell? No, no. Where can we go from half so well? Let us live while we live. I have no waiting there. Come, let's be gone. First, said Cecilia, let me wish you both good night. Will you not go with me, cried Mistress Harrell? How can I go to Box Hall alone? You are not alone, answered she, but if I go, how am I to return? She shall return with you, cried Mistress Harrell, if you desire it. You shall return together. Mistress Harrell, startling up in rapture, called out, oh, Mistress Harrell, will you indeed leave me in England? Yes, answered he reproachfully, if you have made a wife, and if Miss Beverly is content to take charge of you. What can all this mean, exclaimed Cecilia, is it possible you can be serious? Are you really going yourself, and will you suffer, Mistress Harrell, to remain? I am, he answered, and I will. Then, ringing the bell, he ordered a hackney coach. Mistress Harrell was scarce able to breathe for ecstasy, nor Cecilia for amazement, while Mr. Harrell, attending to neither of them, walked for some time silently about whether she had cried Cecilia at last, can I possibly go? Mistress Delville must already be astonished at my delay, and if I disappoint her again, she will hardly receive me. Oh, make not any difficulties, cried Mistress Harrell in an agony. If Mr. Harrell will let me stay, sure you will not be so cruel as to oppose him. But why, said Cecilia, should either of us go to Vauxhall? Surely that is no place for a parting so melancholy. A servant then came in and said the hackney coach was under Harrell starting at the sound, called out, come, what do we wait for? If we go not immediately, we may be prevented. Cecilia then again wished them good night, protesting she could fail Mistress Delville no longer. Mistress Harrell, half-wild at this refusal, conjured her in the most frantic manner to give way, exclaiming, oh cruel, cruel, to deny me this last request, I will kneel to you day and night, sinking upon the ground before her, and I will serve you as the humblest of your slaves for but be kind in this last instance and save me from banishment and misery. Oh rise, Mistress Harrell, cried Cecilia, ashamed of her prostration and shocked by her vehemence. Rise and let me rest. It is painful to me to refuse but to comply forever in defiance of my judgment. Oh, Mistress Harrell, I know no longer what is kind or what is cruel, nor have I known for some time past right from wrong nor good from evil. Come, cried Mistress Harrell, I wait not another minute. Leave her then with me, said Cecilia. I will perform my promise. Mr. R. Knot will I am sure hold his to be sacred. She shall now go with him. She shall hereafter come to me. Leave her but behind and depend upon our care. No, no, cried he with quickness. I must take care of her myself. I shall not carry her abroad with me, but the only legacy I can leave her is a warning which I hope she will remember forever. You, however, need not go. What, cried Mistress Harrell, leave me at Vox Hall and yet leave me alone. What of that, cried he with quickness, do you not desire to be left? Have you any regard for me or for anything upon earth but yourself? Cease these vain clamors and come, I insist upon it, this moment. And then, with a violent oath, he declared he would be detained no longer and approached in great rage to seize her. Mistress Harrell shrieked aloud and the terrified men exclaimed, If indeed you are to part tonight, part not thus dreadfully. Rise, Mistress Harrell, and comply. Be reconciled. Be kind to her, Mr. Harrell, and I will go with her myself. We will all go together. And why, cried Mr. Harrell, more gently yet with the utmost emotion, why should you go? You want no warning. You need no terror. Better far had you fly us not to recede, and Cecilia, though half distracted by the scenes of horror and perplexity in which she was perpetually engaged, ordered her servant to acquaint Mistress Delville, she was again compelled to defer waiting upon her. Mr. Harrell then hurried them both into the coach, which he directed to Vox Hall. Pray, write to me when you are landed, said Mistress Harrell, who now released from her personal apprehensions began to feel some for her husband. He made not any answer. She then asked to what part of France he wanted to go, but still he did not reply, and when she urged him by a third question he told her in a rage to torment him no more. During the rest of the ride not another word was said. Mistress Harrell wept, her husband guarded a glimmy silence, and Cecilia most unpleasantly passed her time between anxious suspicions of some new scheme and a terrified wonder in what all these transactions would terminate. End of Chapter 11 Recorded by Amanda Heineman from England, Mississippi www.livingandbooks.blogspot.com Volume 5 Chapter 12 Part 1 of Cecilia This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Amanda Heineman Cecilia, Memoirs of an Eris by Francis Burney Volume 5 Chapter 12 A Man of Business Part 1 When they entered Vox Hall Mr. Harrell endeavored to dismiss his moroseness and affecting his usual gaiety struggle to recover his spirits but the effort was vain. He could neither talk nor look like himself and though from time to time he resumed his error of wanted levity he could not support it, but drooped and hung his head in evident despondency. He made them take several turns in the midst of the company and walked so fast that they could hardly keep pace with him as if he hoped by exercise to restore his vivacity but every attempt failed. He sunk and grew sadder and muttering between his teeth this is not to be born he hastily called to a waiter to bring him a bottle of champagne. Of this he drank glass after glass not withstanding Cecilia as Mr. Harrell had not courage to speak and treated him to forbear. He seemed however not to hear her but when he had drunk what he thought necessary to revive him he conveyed them into an unfrequented part of the garden and as soon as they were out of sight of all but a few stragglers he suddenly stopped and in great agitation said my shades will soon be ready and I shall take of you a long farewell all my affairs are unprofit to my speedy return the wine is now mounting into my head and perhaps I may not be able to say much by and by. I fear I have been cruel to you and I begin to wish I had spared you this parting scene yet let it not be banished your remembrance but think of it when you are tempted to such mad folly as has ruined us. Mr. Harrell wept too much to make any answer and turning from her to Cecilia. Oh madam he cried to you indeed I dare not speak I have used you most unworthily but I pay for it all I ask you not to pity or forgive me I know it is impossible you should do better. No cried the softened Cecilia it is not impossible I do both at this moment and I hope do not hope interrupted he be not so angelic for I cannot bear it benevolence like yours should have fallen into worthier hands but come let us return to the company my head grows giddy but my heart is still heavy I must make them more fit companions for each other he would then have hurried them back and said you do not mean I hope to call for more wine why not cried he with affected spirit what shall we not be merry before we part yes we will all be merry for if we are not how shall we part at all oh not without a struggle then stopping he paused a moment and casting off the mask of levity said in accents the most solemn I commit this packet to you giving a sealed parcel to Cecilia had I written it later its contents had been kinder to my wife for now the hour of separation approaches ill will and resentment subside poor Priscilla I am sorry but she was a coward I am sure you will oh had I known you myself before this infatuation bright pattern of all goodness but I was devoted a ruined wretch before ever you entered my house unworthy to be saved unworthy that virtue such as yours should dwell under the same roof with me but come come now or my resolution will waver and I shall not go at last but what is this packet cries Cecilia and why do you give it to me no matter no matter you will know by and by the shades waits and I must gather courage to be gone he then pressed forward answering neither to remonstrance nor entreaty from his frightened companions the moment they returned to the covered walk they were met by Mr. Marriott starting endeavored to pass him but when he approached and said you have sent sir no answer to my letter he stopped and in a tone of forced politeness said no sir but I shall answer it tomorrow and tonight I hope you will do me the honor of supping with me Mr. Marriott looking openly at Cecilia as his inducement though evidently regarding himself as an injured man hesitated a moment yet accepted the invitation to suffer cried Mistress Harold what here to supper repeated Cecilia and how are we to get home think not of that these two hours answered he come let us look for a box Cecilia then grew quite urgent with him to give up a scheme which must keep them so late and Mistress Harold repeatedly exclaimed indeed people would then get very odd to see us here without any party but he heeded them not and perceiving at some distance Mr. Marriott he called out to him to find them a box thinking was very pleasant and the gardens were so much crowded that no accommodation was unceased sir cried Mr. Marriott with his usual readiness I'll get you one if I turn out ten old alderman sucking custards just after he was gone a fat sleek vulgar looking man dressed in a bright purple coat with a deep red waistcoat and a wig bulging far from his head with small round curls while his plump face and person announced plenty and good living the manner of defiance spoke the fullness of his purse strutted boldly up to Mr. Harold and accosting him in a manner that shooed some diffidence of his reception but none of his right said sir you're humble servant and made a bow first to him and then to the ladies sir yours replied Mr. Harold scornfully and without touching his hat he walked quickly on his fat acquaintance who seemed but little disposed to be offended with impunity instantly replaced his hat on his head and with a look that implied I'll fit you for this put his hands to his sides and following him said sir I must make bold to beg the favor of exchanging a few words with you I sir answered Mr. Harold come to me tomorrow and you shall exchange as many as you please nothing like the time present sir answered the man as for tomorrow I believe it intends to come no more for I have heard of it any time these three years I mean no reflection sir but let every man have his right what I say and that's my notion of things Mr. Harold with a violent execration asked what he meant by dunning him at such a place as box hall one place sir he replied is as good as another place for so as what one does is good to is no matter for where it may be a man of business never wants a counter if he can meet with a joint stool for my part I'm all for a clear conscience and no bills without receipts to them and if you were all for broken bones cried Mr. Harold thoroughly I would oblige you with them without delay sir cried the man equally provoked this is talking quite out of character for as to broken bones there's never a person in all England gentle nor simple can say he's a right to break mine for I'm not a person of that sort but a man of as good property as another man and there's never a customer I have in the world that's more his own man than myself Lord bless me Mr. Hobson cried Mrs. Harold don't listen this manner if we meet any of our acquaintance they'll think us half crazy ma'am answered Mr. Hobson again taking off his hat if I'm treated with proper respect no man will behave more generous than myself but if I'm affronted all I can say is it may go harder with some folks than they think for here a little mean looking man very thin and almost bent double with perpetual cringing came up to Mr. Hobson and pulling him by the head loud enough to be heard it's suprisable to me Mr. Hobson you can behave so out of the way for my part perhaps I've as much my do as another person but I dares to say I shall have it when it's convenient and I'd scorn for to miss less to gentlemen when he's taking his pleasure Lord bless me cried Mrs. Harold what shall we do now here's all Mr. Harold's creditors coming upon us do you cried Mr. Harold reassuming an air of all a supper to be sure come gentlemen will you favor me with your company to supper sir answered Mr. Hobson somewhat softened by the unexpected invitation I've sucked this hour and more and had my glass to for I'm as willing to spend my money as another man only what I say is this I don't choose to be cheated for that's losing one substance and getting no credit however as to drinking another glass or such a matter as that I'll do it with all the pleasure in life and as to me said the other man whose name was Simkins and whose head almost touched the ground by the profoundness of his reverence I can't upon no account think of taking the liberty but if I may just stand without I'll make bold to go so far as just for to drink my humble duty to the ladies in a cup of cider are you mad Mr. Harold are you mad cried his wife to think of asking such people as these to suffer what will everybody say suppose any very acquaintance should see us I am sure I shall die with shame mad repeated he know not mad but Mary oh home Mr. Marise why have you been so long what have you done for us why sir answered Marise returning with the look somewhat less elated than he had set out the gardens are so full there is not a box to be had but I hope we shall get one for all that for I observed one of the best boxes in the garden just to the right there with nobody in it but that woman who made me spill the teapot at the pantheon so I made an apology and told him the case but he only said home and hey so then I told it all over again but he served me just the same for he never seems to hear what one says to one's just done and then he begins to recollect one speaking to him however though I repeated it all over and over again I could get nothing from him but just that home and hey but he is so remarkably absent that I dare say if we all go and sit down round him he won't know a word of the matter won't he cried Mr. Harrell have at him then and he followed Mr. Marise though Cecilia who now have suspected that all was to end in a mere idle frolic warmly joined her remonstrances to those of Misra's Harrell which were made with the utmost but with fruitless earnestness Mr. Meadows who was seated in the middle of the box was lolliping upon the table with picking his teeth with his usual inattention to all about him the intrusion however of so large a party seemed to threaten his insensibility with unavoidable disturbance though imagining they meant but to look in at the box and pass on he made not at their first approach any alteration in his attitude or employment see ladies cried the officious Marise I told you there was room and I am sure this gentleman will be very happy to make way for you if it's only out of the care to the waiters as he is neither eating nor drinking nor doing anything at all so if you two ladies will go in at that side Mr. Harrell and that other gentlemen pointing to Mr. Marriott may go to the other and then I'll sit by the ladies here and those other two gentlemen here Mr. Meadows raising himself from his reclining posture and staring Marise in the face gravely said what's all this sir Marise who expected to have arranged the whole party without a question and who understood so little of modest airs as to suspect neither affectation nor trick in the absence of mind and indolence of manners which he observed in Mr. Meadows was utterly amazed by this interrogatory and staring himself in return said sir you seem so thoughtful I did not think I did not suppose you would have taken any notice of just a person or two coming into the box did not you sir said Mr. Meadows very coldly why then now you do perhaps you'll be so obliging as to let me have my own box to myself and then again he returned to his favorite position certainly sir said Marise bowing I am sure I did not mean to disturb you for you seemed so lost in thought that I'm sure I did not much believe you would have seen us why sir said Mr. Hobson strutting forward if I may speak my opinion I should think as you happen to be quite alone a little agreeable company would be no such bad thing at least that's my notion and if I might take the liberty said the smooth tongue Mr. Simpkins for to put in a word I should think the best way would be if the gentleman has no particular objection for me just to stand somewhere hereabouts and so when he's had what he's a mind to be ready for to pop in at one side as he comes out at the tether for if one does not look pretty cute such a full night as this a box is whipped away before one knows where one is no no no cried measures Harold impatiently let us neither sup in this box nor in any other let us go away entirely indeed we must indeed we ought cried Cecilia it is utterly improper we should stay pray let us be gone immediately Mr. Harold paid not the least regard to these requests but Mr. Meadows who could no longer seem unconscious of what past did himself so much violence as to arise and ask if the ladies would be seated I said so cried Marise triumphantly I was sure there was no gentleman but would be happy to accommodate to such ladies the ladies however far from happy and being so accommodated again tried their utmost influence in persuading Mr. Harold to give up this scheme but he would not hear them he insisted upon their going into the box and extending the privilege which Mr. Meadows had given he invited without ceremony the whole lady to follow Mr. Meadows though he seemed to think this a very extraordinary encroachment had already made such an effort from his general anger in the repulse he had given to Marise that he could exert himself no further but after looking around him with mingled vacancy and contempt he again seated himself and suffered Marise to do the honors without more opposition Marise but too happy in the office placed Cecilia next to Mr. Meadows and would have made Mr. But she insisted upon not being parted for Mr. Harold and therefore as he chose to sit also by that lady himself Mr. Marriott was obliged to follow Mr. Harold to the other side of the box Mr. Hobson without further invitation placed himself comfortably in one of the corners and Mr. Simpkins who stood modestly for some time in another finding the further encouragement for which be waited was not likely to arrive dropped quietly into his seat without it supper was now ordered and while it was preparing Mr. Harold sat totally silent but Mr. Meadows thought proper to force himself to talk with Cecilia though she could well have dispensed with such an exertion of his politeness do you like this place ma'am indeed I hardly know I never was here before no wonder the only surprise is that anybody can come to it at all to see a set of people walking after nothing struggling about without view or object to strange don't you think so ma'am yes I believe so said Cecilia scarce hearing him oh it gives me the vapors the horrors cried he to see what poor creatures we are taking the pleasure even from the probation of it forcing ourselves into exercise and toil when we might at least have the indulgence of sitting still and reposing Lord sir cried Marise don't you like walking walking cried he I know nothing so humiliating to see a rational being in such a mechanical motion with upon what principles he proceeds but plotting on one foot before another without even any consciousness which is first or how either sir interrupted Mr. Hobson I hope you won't take it amiss if I make bold to tell my opinion from my way is this let every man speak his maximum but what I say as to this matter is this if a man must always be stopping to consider what foot he is standing upon he had need have little to do being the right does as well as the left and the left as well as the right and that sir I think is a fair argument Mr. Meadows no other answer to this speech than a look of contempt I fancy sir said Marise you are fond of writing for all your good horsemen like nothing else writing exclaimed Mr. Meadows oh barbarus wrestling and boxing are polite arts to it trusting to the discretion of an animal less intellectual than ourselves a sudden spring may break all our limbs a humble may fracture our skulls and what is the inducement to get melted with heat killed with fatigue and covered with dust miserable infatuation do you love writing ma'am yes very well sir I am glad to hear it cried he with a vacant smile you are quite right I am entirely of your opinion Mr. Simkins now with a look of much perplexity yet rising and bowing said I don't mean sir to be so rude as to put in my or if I did not take you wrong I am sure just now I thought you seemed for to make no great count of writing and yet now all of the sudden one would think you was a speaking up for it why sir cried Mr. Marise if you neither like writing nor walking you can have no pleasure at all but only in sitting sitting repeated Mr. Meadows with a yawn oh worse and worse it dispirits me to death it robs me of all fire and life we can circulation and destroys elasticity pray then sir said Marise do you like any better to stand to stand oh intolerable the most unmeaning thing in the world one had better be made a mummy why then pray sir said Mr. Hobson let me ask the favor of you to tell us what it is you do like Mr. Meadows though he stared him full in the face began picking his teeth without making any answer you see Mr. Hobson said Mr. Simkins the gentleman has no you but if I may take the liberty just to put in I think if he neither likes walking nor writing nor sitting nor standing I take it he likes nothing well sir said Marise but here comes supper and I hope you will like that pray sir may I help you to a bit of this ham Mr. Meadows not seeming to hear him suddenly and with an air of extreme weariness a rose and without speaking to anybody abruptly made his way out of the box Mr. Harrell now starting from the gloomy reverie into which he had sunk undertook to do the honors of the table insisting with much violence upon helping everybody calling for more provisions and struggling to appear in high spirits and good humor in a few minutes Captain Aresby who was passing by the box stopped to make his compliments to measures Harrell and Cecilia what a concourse he cried casting up his eyes with an expression of half dying fatigue do not accable for my part I hardly respire I have really hardly ever had the honor of being so upset a day before we can make very good room sir said Marise if you choose to come in yes said Mr. Simpkins obsequiously standing up I am sure the gentleman will be very welcome to take my place for I did not mean for to sit down only just to look agreeable by no means sir answered the captain I shall be quite audacious for anybody sir said Mr. Hobson I don't offer you my place because I take it for granted if you had a mind to come in you would not stand upon ceremony for what I say is let every man speak his mind and then we shall all know how to conduct ourselves that's my way and let any man tell me a better the captain after looking at him with a surprise not wholly unmixed with horror turn from him without making any answer and said to Cecilia and how long ma'am have you tried this petrifying place an hour or two hours I believe she answered really and nobody here also said a month but nobody here a blank pot tot sir said Mr. Simpkins getting out of the box that he might bow with more facility I humbly crave pardon for the liberty but if I understood right you said something of a blank pray sir if I may be so free there been anything of the nature of a lottery or a raffle in the garden or the like of that sir said the captain regarding him from head to foot I am quite also may that I cannot comprehend your illusion sir I ask pardon said the man bowing still lower I only thought if in case it should not be above half a crown or such a matter as that I might perhaps stretch a point once in a way the captain more and more amazed stared at him again but not thinking it necessary to take any further notice of him he inquired of Cecilia if she meant to stay late I hope not she replied I have already stayed later than I wished to do really said he with an unmeaning smile well that is as hard a thing as I have the Mario to know for my part I make it a principle not to stay long in these semi barbarous places for after a certain time they bore me to that degree I am quite I'll be may I shall however do one possible to have the honor of seeing you again and then with the smile of yet greater in sepidity he protested he was reduced to despair in leaving her and walked on pray ma'am if I may be so bold said Mr. Hobson what countryman may that gentleman be an Englishman I suppose sir said Cecilia an Englishman ma'am said Mr. Hobson why I could not understand one word in ten that came out of his mouth why indeed said Mr. Simpkins he has a mighty particular way of speaking for I'm sure I thought I could have sworn he said something of a blank or to that amount but I could make nothing of it when I come to ask him about it let every man speak to be understood cried Mr. Hobson that's my notion of things for as to all those fine words that nobody can make out I hold them to be of no use suppose a man was to talk in that manner when he's doing business what would be the upshot who'd understand what he meant well that's the proof what it didn't fit for business it and of no value that's my way of judging and that's what I go upon he said some other things rejoined Mr. Simpkins that I could not make out very clear only I had no mind to ask any more questions for fear of his answering me something I should not understand but as well as I could make it out I thought I heard him say there was nobody here what he could mean by that I can't pretend for to guess for I'm sure the garden is so stock full that if there was to come many more I don't know where they could cram him I took notice of it at the time said Mr. Hobson for it and many things are lost upon me and to tell you the truth I thought he had been making pretty free with his bottle by his seeing no better bottle cried Mr. Harold a most excellent hint Mr. Hobson come let us all make free with the bottle he then called for more wine and insisted that everybody should pledge him Mr. Marriott and Mr. Marise made not any objection and Mr. Simkins consented with much delight Mr. Harold now grew extremely unruly the wine he had already drunk being thus powerfully aided and his next project was to make his wife and Cecilia follow his example Cecilia more incensed than ever to see no preparation made for his departure and all possible pains taken to unfit him for sitting out refused him with equal firmness and his pleasure and lamented with the bitterest self reproaches the consent which had been forced from her to be present at a scene of such disorder but Mrs. Harold would have opposed him in vain had not his attention been called off to another object this was Sir Robert Foyer who perceiving the party at some distance no sooner observed Mr. Marriott in such company than advancing to the box with an air of rage and defiance he told Mr. Harold he had something to say to him a cried Harold say to me and so have I to say to you come amongst us and be merry here make room way sit close my friends Sir Robert who now saw he was in no situation to be reasoned with stood for a moment silent and then looking round the box and observing Mr. Hobson and Simkins he exclaimed aloud why what queer party have you got into who the devil have you picked up here Mr. Hobson who to the importance of lately acquired wealth now added the courage of newly drunk champagne stoutly kept his ground without seeming at all conscious he was included in this interrogation but Mr. Simkins who had still his way to make in the world and whose habitual servility would have resisted a larger drought was easily intimidated he again therefore stood up and with the most cringing respect offered the Baronette his place who taking neither of the offer nor offer the smallest notice still stood opposite to Mr. Harold waiting for some explanation Mr. Harold however who now grew really incapable of understanding only repeated his invitation that he would make one among them one among you cried he angrily and pointing to Mr. Hobson why you don't fancy I'll sit down with a bricklayer a bricklayer said Mr. Harold a sure and a hosier to sit down Mr. Simkins keep your placeman Mr. Simkins most thankfully but Mr. Hobson who could no longer avoid feeling the personality of this reflection boldly answered sir may sit down with the worst man any day in the week I have done nothing I'm ashamed of and no man can say to me why did you so I don't tell you sir what I'm worth no one has a right to ask I only say three times five is fifteen that's all why what the devil you impudent fellow cried the haughty Baronette you don't presume to mutter do you sir answered Mr. Hobson very hotly I shan't put up with abuse from no man I've got a fair character in the world and wherewithal to live by my own liking and what I have is my own and all I say is let everyone say the same for that's the way to fear no man and face the devil what do you mean by that fellow cried sir Robert fellow sir this is talking know how do you think a man of substance that's got above the world is to be treated like a little scrubby apprentice but every man have his own that's always my way of thinking and this I can say for myself I have as good a right to my head where I please is ever a member of parliament in all England and I wish everybody here could say as much sir Robert fury starting into his eyes was beginning an answer but measures Harold with terror and Cecilia with dignity calling upon them both to forbear the Baronette desired Marais to relinquish his place to him and seating himself next to measures Harold gave over the contest end of chapter 12 part one recorded by Amanda Heinemann in Glen Mississippi www.livinginbooks.blogspot.com