 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. Today I'm just at this beach in Itoshima, Japan just being checking out the rocks over there. In this video we are going to be talking about does a narcissist regret losing you? It's very interesting how they just seem to act like you were never important to them and not in a normal way as well. It's like such to such an extreme like they make it out as though you are the worst person alive. You're just no good at all or you're completely beneath their consideration. They don't even notice you anymore. They don't even want to hear from you. So there's all of these things that are meant to be wrong with you. And what is that about? Why would someone deliberately go out of their way to send this message, this signal to you? And the reason why is because it is actually quite the opposite. The narcissist most definitely does regret losing you. And they know it may look like they don't care. It may look like they've just forgotten about you and they're wrong with their new supply. But I can promise you that yes, at some level they are still thinking about you. Which is why if you ever get the moment you get the opportunity and you present yourself to them. And this could be in person. You can also recognize it through text. Just coming on something. Something you're doing in your life. Like you moved on. Maybe you met someone new. Maybe you just made a new friend. Maybe you got promoted at your work, whatever it is. If you just mention something like that to them, whether it's through text or especially in person, you can see the rage. You can see that narcissistic rage. And their rise just lights up. You can see it in them that they know that they are missing out on something with you. Even while they try to hide and deny it, it's just they have so much resistance, so much pride and ego to you at that point. Because deep down, they feel that you are better than them. As a person with your qualities and abilities, just in everything that you do, they think that you're a more greater person than they are in more ways than one. And that's why they just can't accept it. And then in the end, it's like they want nothing to do with you. Because just your presence, just being around you makes them feel like shit. Because it's like, not only did they devalue you and do all of those things to you, maybe they cheated on you, they lied to you, they stole from you, they future faked. But not only that, but you accepted all of it. You didn't really blame them or confront them too much. You didn't try to expose them. But they did all of that to you, even though you didn't really do anything to them at all. It's like you just silently rejected them. Never verbally came out and said it. But they could see it in your body language, your facial expressions into your voice. They knew that you were disapproving of something that they said or did. And then instantly, yeah, they felt that slight, it was like this invisible criticism. And by that point, they were already planning their escape. Because they thought it was all over for them after that. Remember, they think in black and white, where a person is either perfect or flawed, or good or bad, right or wrong. There's no in between, there's no gray area with them. I think they could never possibly think that even though, yes, maybe you did disapprove of some things. That doesn't mean that you could not have worked on those things and made it better in the future. You see, narcissists that even think like that. They're minds is just this all or nothing mentality. They're either perfect for you or they're no good. And that is their pride, that is their ego. And that is why, although they will never come out and actually tell you, I know from all of my research and also my experiences as well, I've dealt with a few narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, all kinds of people. And it's always that same thing. This is what I've managed to hone in on. There's always like this split window of self-reflection, where anything to do with you and your progress, they fail up in something outside of them, outside of their control. I think this could be a friendship, a relationship, it could be something to do with your job, just anything positive about your life. As soon as they become aware of it with you, share your accomplishments with your dreams, goals and ambitions with them, straight away you can see it's like the fire in their eyes. But they just want to do something to sabotage it or to take you down. And it's because deep down they are thinking whatever you go off and do, it's going to be far better than anything I'm doing and that's where it creates this competition. When now they want to come after you, harass you, try to destroy whatever you've got going on, because they don't want it to become a reminder of everything they're not, everything they're never going to have, everything they're never going to be. And ironically enough, this was actually the case in my experience. Where I was being controlled for so many years, I then one day I actually got up and did something about it and I became something in my life. Obviously I created this YouTube channel, I've been doing these videos for over five years and it's attracted over 170,000 subscribers, over 40 million views and there's also my TikTok as well. So I've become quite successful over the last few years, but regardless of that, it's like as soon as the narcissist sees it, it triggers them, it causes a narcissistic injury because they feel like you're reaching that threshold of things, of how it's never going to be for them. You see they've lost this belief for themselves in their own lives. I mean, for me, I remember ever since I was a kid, I always looked at other people and their lives and I never felt like just because someone's got a good relationship, they've got a big house, they've got a Ferrari, I never felt like this is something I'll never be able to obtain. I never thought that way. At least not until I got around narcissists and I was heavily manipulated by them because obviously their thoughts and beliefs about themselves do enter them off in us as well. But I never really thought that way, but regardless of that, even when I did become very successful, I achieved a lot of the things that I wanted in life. I started to realize that this is not a source of happiness and then I started to humble myself a bit. I would spend more time in the jungle, in the forest, and just going to the beach instead of always just doing these flashy things every day. And I found that doing that actually brought me a lot more joy. But as in my experience, it's funny how I was controlled pretty much my entire life and it's like just look at me now. I mean when you consider everything that I went through, the effects of all of the abuse, I mean many of you didn't even know a fraction of what I went through. And yet regardless of that, I became a self-made millionaire by the age of 33 while being gang-stalked the entire time for about seven years, which makes me quite possibly one of the greatest and most successful people on the face of the game. But it's not always about me and what I do. It's very rare that I even share my experience on this channel because rather than being so egotistical, I am more connected to my soul. But I just had to mention that because it reminds me and many of you will have experienced this as well. So you will know exactly what I mean when it's like the narcissist has controlled you all of these years. And it's like as soon as you get out from under their grasp, it's like suddenly everything changes in your life. Suddenly everything is so much better for you. And it's like if they're so great, if they're so powerful, then why weren't things like that when they were around you? And of course that is when you should realize that in fact they were a hindrance to the progress in your entire life. Yes, despite all the manipulation and lies, all the deception, they were an active problem to you. I know they held themselves up as being this all-powerful, all-intelligent, important, attractive, successful person or whatever it is that they seem to be desirable. But the irony is they were actually the main problem in your life. It's like if you take these people out of there, things will be far better for you. They're what's weighing you down. They're what's holding you back from being the best person that you can be, from being the best person that you are becoming now, from watching my videos and learning more about what you went through. Because now you are developing this awareness, this wisdom, this knowledge. You know I kind of went back and forth with this idea though because if you look at my earlier videos I was like yes of course narcissists regret losing us but then I did some more research into the fact that they lack empathy especially effective empathy and they're more self-absorbed of course they only really care about themselves so then I came to the conclusion that they don't regret anything they don't value us at all they don't feel like they lost anything but now I have actually come back to this idea again based on my experiences and I see so many experiences every day. I'm very good at analyzing what a person is thinking and feeling. I could just read a person's eyes facial expressions just everything and it's not only that it's from a lot of research as well. I mean we have to remember what is allowing this disorder to continue and of course what it is is their shame. Remember they are shame-based people who would do everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. So what they do is they tend to deflect it onto other people. It's like whatever you are around them you always feel shamed you always feel like oh something's wrong with me I'm not okay I'm not good enough I'm bad I did this wrong I did that wrong I need to do this better it has nothing to do with you they're just deflecting their own shit onto you these are all of the problems that they have and of course notice how that connects of how they do regret losing you and why it causes such a narcissistic injury followed by open rage but maybe more COVID passive aggression or silent treatment or some form of sabotage why if they do not value you they do not recognize your value if they do not regret losing you why would they give a shit I mean think about it so this is how I know for a fact but yes they do regret it they may never openly say it and anytime that it goes into their mind they're thinking about it they're just going to push that away and it's going to be like no I'm superior I'm the best I don't need you but in the back of their minds there are a lot of doubts and of course the reason why there's a lot of doubts is because they've been heavily dependent on people pretty much their entire lives supply attention admiration money a place to stay sex whatever it is while as for us I'm sure for you it has been quite the opposite you've tended to spend most of your time alone and then it's like one day this narcissist targets you they make you feel all of these things and you start to believe that they care about you that's very different from everywhere everything else that you've experienced before because maybe before you were manipulated you were exploited but these narcissists deep down yes they know I can promise you I can assure you used to deny it I used to think that no there's no way that they could think that way they're all about themselves but don't take it the wrong way because it's not in the way that you were thinking the way that you may feel towards them I mean I know some of you you may think that you love this person you have all of these feelings for them and I don't want to dictate your feelings of how you may believe that you feel for someone but from what I've learned researched and experienced this image of what you think you love it's very different to what you think it is remember you thought it was something in the beginning when they displayed the first character but then how did you feel after a few months when they showed you exactly who they are they ripped off the mask you saw that they were very different and that is how a lot of people are not just narcissists you think you know they were in the beginning but then over time they seem to become something very different most people are not just this open book I know for myself I would probably say but I am in some ways I guess I mean it's like what you see in the videos I am pretty much this way in real life if you were to see me and if we were to have a conversation it would be pretty much just like this but then there's also a lot of things that people don't know as well or even if it's that they don't know it's that they don't consider it but these types of ways of thinking and feeling which is nothing wrong with that at all it's completely okay for you to have these feelings but just not towards a narcissist because you you're feeling for something that isn't even there it's not even real it's a false character a false display that's not actually who they are the person you saw at the beginning of the relationship that is the false character who you see at the end that's who they really are and unlike a lot of people enablers flying monkeys the new source none of them may see that but you've seen it you get to see who they really are and be thankful for that but you need to take away these feelings these emotions for the narcissist you need to grieve and recognize that it was actually a false character that is exactly what it was and believe that they are not having these feelings for you they do not love you or miss you i've said it before they are not even physically or even sexually attracted to you it does not work that way with narcissists these are all just things they've seen it could be in in movies on television it could be anything that they've seen and they believe that this puts them in a position of power or control over you or someone else it kind of upgrades their social position and that is all a narcissist is concerned with it doesn't mean that they're attracted to you physically or sexually it has nothing to do with that this is all just something they've created from bits and pieces of other people and that's all that there really is but i understand that for you these feelings are completely real of course i recognize that i know that my channel does tend to attract not only a lot of a lot of narcissists trolls but also a lot of empaths as well it does attract a lot of empathic people and i'm sure that you are one of them and you have these very deep feelings and emotions especially you thought you had to this narcissistic person but believe me it's not reciprocal they are not thinking of you like that that's not of any concern to them other than to use it to manipulate and control you and that is all that it's for it's for recreational use amusement and enjoyment it's not for a serious purpose they don't take things seriously in life and the reason why is because by doing that and being vulnerable about what they actually want in a relationship in life they feel like that takes away their control they remember they're already very insecure so they've got to hold on to that control regardless of that core needs that yes in fact they do have that's still there and that's why when you see them they act so weird so strange so crazy so exaggerated but you're looking at it like what is this what what is going on like this narcissistic injury this rage this crazy behavior you put yourself in their shoes and you wouldn't give a shit and then you wonder so why is it so personal for them why do they get so mad why does it cause such a huge injury when you are trying to free yourself from their grasp when you desire to join a new social circle religious group a new community a new relationship a new job maybe you buy a new home a new car whatever it is why does that cause such a huge injury why do they experience so much rage if they don't care as they act as they portray themselves too again then why does it bother them so much and that is how you should know but yes in fact it really gets to them and in some ways it's like they saw it in you all along they already knew you were or you are going to become something that they just can't measure up to and they're going to be having to look up at you while feeling like they're down here and it's like there's crabs in the bucket mentality so believe it or not but yes in fact they do regret losing you and it is that injury the rage those reactions that should translate to you everything that you need to know because remember if a person doesn't care they're not going to be in this big display there's not going to be this big song and dance about anything in fact they're just going to forget about you they're not trying to prove anything to you at all they're not going to come back and try to prove to you that they're this all powerful person or that you're beneath them you're inferior to them or that they're wealthy attractive desirable or whatever they deem to be a source of power to themselves they wouldn't be this big song and dance about it all of that is for the facts that they could never get you in the way that they wanted to and it's because there's an empath they can see it on your face they already know they're not completely stupid they know that you see right through them and the illusion that they are trying to portray to you yes they see it and this begins just before the devaluation phase they recognize that you were disapproving of something that they've said or done they know that something is not right and as soon as they see it they detect it then they want to beat you to the punch they want to get you before you get them they want to be on the other side of it because they can dish it out but they can't take it and the last thing they want is a taste of their own medicine because as I've said before if there's one thing a narcissist hates more than anything it's rejection because they haven't got a strong base a strong foundation of self when you have that you're not really going to care so much but they do and you can see it by how they behave how they act I mean from the moment they see this disapproving gaze from you it's all over after that it's completely all over well for us in the beginning at least we found that very attractive when they made us believe that we couldn't do this that we're not capable of something I just made us want to do it even more because we know that we can do whatever we want it's just a lot of times we choose not to but that's what they hold against you as well is putting you on this hamster wheel where you have to do all of these things and then they constantly move the goalpost so then you might do they might ask you to do 10 things before they get home you do nine things you forget one thing and then they'll focus on that one thing you never did and they'll blow it up out of proportion like it's the worst thing in the world or maybe you just got tired you didn't have time whatever it was they will always use it to bring you down even though you may have done your best you may have done everything you could please them and that draws us in that attracts us even more while for them it's the other way around they just can't deal with it because they don't have a strong base a strong foundation of self so any little criticism any slight it makes them really mad and you may see them blow up they get very angry at you even if it's just perceived you didn't even mean anything they will always take it the wrong way they will always be these extreme reactions because believe it or not but yes these narcissists these psychopaths all they actually wanted all along is to be loved by their parents and they never got that so then they seek out someone like us especially a lot of us were empathic here they're thinking they're going to be able to receive that but it never works out in the way that they expect it to because the truth is they can't really receive our love to do that they would have to be vulnerable but narcissists cannot be vulnerable i mean this is too much paranoia they're too afraid they've been traumatized abuse neglected already in their childhood so what you're seeing now is the effects of that you're seeing their post-traumatic stress response well for us that was more to phone and to do everything we possibly can to help but to please someone even if that means being even more vulnerable because yes we do have the ability to do that narcissists it's not possible all they can do is further manipulate you they can only deceive you give you the illusion and that is the best you will ever get from them despite that yes deep down they do regret losing you they really do underneath it all and they may never tell you this it's likely that they will never tell you but underneath as they may seem and that's why whenever you confront them whenever you do anything that might threaten the narrative or the illusion whenever anything improves or progresses in your life it's a serious threat to them they can't handle it they can't deal with it because they know that their position is weak they know that everything they believe in about themselves is wrong that's why they react so strongly otherwise they wouldn't care they react so strongly because they know deep down that they are wrong and that's exactly what it is if a person knows that they're gonna care it's not gonna bother them but deep down they do feel regret they know they're doing something wrong with you devaluing you discarding you going off to another supply this is why they make such a big show of it they put it all over social media it's all of these exaggerated force smiles laughing looking like they're having a great time and they really go out of their way to portray that why because they're very insecure about it deep down they feel like it's not real they know that it's fake it's just a show it's a false image and maybe at some level they do want something real they just want to know how to get it how to ask for it how to even be open to receiving it but maybe that is why they get so mad and why they arrange why they come after us they have to control us they want to destroy us maybe it's because deep down they do want something real really is that the targets escape goats meaning you are potentially the only real person in that environment the only one with a strong base a strong foundation of self because you're the only one who cares the only one with effective empathy remember the person who cares that's not the abuser that's not the narcissist that's the victim it's the victim the target who cares that's the perfect target for a narcissist which is you you are that victim who cares and they target you because it's so much easier they know they're not going to get really any response of someone who doesn't care about anything and then they put you through the ringer the cycle they run you through their games and manipulation and it's all just to see if you do care until the point where you no longer care anymore and then they go off they run off on their campaign and act like they're the ones who care more than you do so they kind of steal your identity in that sense whatever you are whatever you portray yourself to be they just go off and they become that but it isn't real of course they run off with it but it never amounts to anything and maybe that's why they regret losing you because deep down they know that you are real what you have is real so that is genuinely what i believe at this point after everything i've seen researched experienced although there is this front this deceptive outward appearance of whether they act antisocial i mean many of them they may have that personality disorder as well but you know from that moment where they feel that slight that criticism then they go to the devaluation of you they want to beat you to it they want to reject you first but then there's so much control they're trying to contain you to suffocate you to be this all-encompassing figure over you where you're under their control you're under their spell and what you've got to think is why why is that so important to them and why when you try to move on when you try to go no contact why is that such a big deal to them i mean if they don't care if they're done with you why would they care if you have a new relationship a new friendship a new job maybe you're moving to a different town whatever you're doing why would they care if they really feel like they've made the right decision going off on their path away from you why would they care about what you do and of course it's because in actuality they do feel regret deep down they just don't entertain it for long periods of time but deep down they are insecure about the path that they're on deep down they feel like they're making the wrong decision they're insecure about it and as i said in my live video two days ago they do play themselves they play us but by doing that they end up playing themselves and in so many different ways they could have gotten so much more out of us it could have been so much more better for them we would have given them everything remained loyal to them all these qualities that they're never going to find in anyone else i mean empaths were just one to two percent of the world's population there's not an empath around every corner it's very rare but communities like this we do tend to attract a lot of them from all over the world but they're not only that reminiscences of bullies and there have been reports that show that people who bully they're at a 10 to 25 times risk more than their own victims of developing a psych psychiatric condition which may include sociopathy or psychopathy personality disorder so most definitely they do play themselves a lot and they develop all of these problems later in life and they may never connect it to all of the abuse that they endured upon other people they never connect it to that when deep down they may not recognize it but it's just another one of those things where if you did confront them and point that pointed out to them you would just see them blow up it'd be that fire in their eyes the eyes would just light up and then she then they just look really angry and then they just want to lash out at you and control you that's just how it goes with these narcissists yes deep down they feel regret but they will never show you it you might see it in that split window but they will always try to hide it from you remember everything they do is the responses it's all heavily controlled as much as they can they have to suppress these emotions they have to control how they behave in some way I mean they may want to act very differently but they can't so of course later on it manifests a lot of regret and a lot of shame as well so my answer to conclude this video is yes deep down they do regret losing you that is why they are so focused on the control the smear campaigns the devaluation the triangulation these may all look like signs that they don't regret losing you but in fact it is quite the opposite if you look into it deeper because you've got to think that if someone didn't regret losing you why would they go through all that effort for what if they didn't see your worth if they didn't see how much better you are than them and how much better your life is going to be without them so that just tells you everything you need to know just their actions alone but that is what I've got to say for this one and I hope that it has been helpful to you if it has please give it a thumbs up down below I'm seeing 93 live viewers and only 33 thumbs ups so please do that now for me because it will help the youtube algorithm and get this message out there to other survivors and also let me know your thoughts in the comment section I am reading your comments every day and hit that subscribe button and click the bell icon so that you will receive notifications for my future videos and if you'd like to buck on one-on-one with me you can go to my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk and also follow me on instagram send me a message I will respond it is narc survivor youtube I have new pictures and videos of my travels every day on there so thank you all for joining me on another narc survivor live video as always I look forward to talking with you in another one very