 Another step in becoming a man that I discovered is killing your father, metaphorically, okay? I know you guys. So what does this mean? It means this, okay? It means killing the idea of your father, right? So when we grow up, our fathers to us, they're the king, they're the tribal leader. We seek approval from our fathers, rightfully so. We should, as were young men, as were boys, before we've gone through the initiation. And what has to happen at some point is we have to throw off that value system, right? We have our father's value system. We decide what is good and what is bad in relation to what does our father approve of. At some point, we have to become the father. We have to become the tribal leader. And so we have to metaphorically kill the value system of our father. We have to say, you know what? Dad, I love you, right? But I'm my own man now. And I have my own value system. And I don't need your approval. I still love you, but my value system, what I think is right, my judgment rules my life. I am the king. And so many guys that I work with, so many guys that I coach, this is the final, they can't do it. They can't bring themselves to metaphorically kill their father. I had to have this conversation with my own father. We had a falling out for about a year and a half, maybe two years, you know? He's gonna watch this video because he watches all my videos. We're the best of buds now. Because he's an awesome guy. But he very much was very controlling. He would use guilt on me. Like, why aren't you coming? Blood is thicker than water, you know? He would use all these guilt tactics. And at one point I had a conversation with him on the phone and I was like, hey, look, dad. I said, I love you, man, but I don't allow anyone who treats me the way that you treat me to be in my life. Doesn't matter. Like, I don't accept. These are my boundaries. This is who I am as a man. And he didn't give a shit. He ran right over that. He was like, who the fuck do you think you are? I raised you, I said, I didn't get into it. I said, you know what? Totally respect your position. I said, I would probably feel the same way if I were you. Regardless, what I said stands. And he said, well, I'm not fucking talking to you. You fucking ungrateful son of a bitch. And I said, love you, dad. Totally understand. All right. We didn't talk for about a year and a half. Eventually, eventually he came around and understood, hey, I want to have a relationship with my son who's now a man. And now we have a great relationship. But I had to do it. It wasn't, believe me, it wasn't easy to be on the other end of that phone. For one, it wasn't easy to say what I had to say, but for a second, it wasn't easy to not get sucked in to the argument because I wanted to give him all kinds of reasons why I was doing what I do. But as a man, one of the things I talk about is you don't complain, explain, or apologize. Your word is your word. What you said, it doesn't need to be explained to someone. You don't need to justify your actions. You take the action and you accept the consequences of that action. But you don't have to have everyone have buy-in. You don't have to have them understand why you did what you did. A lot of you that are stuck in the nice guy area, it's because of this. It's because it's like, oh, well, if they could just understand. No. No apologizing. One good exercise for you guys that are stuck with this is I sometimes get to my email. Someone will email me, it's like three days later. And maybe you've done this, like you start to email and the very first thing you type is, sorry, and then you gotta delete that. No, you can't start with sorry. And then you say, I was at this conference for three, oh, now you're trying to explain. Nope, delete that. Just fucking type. You don't own explanation. You don't own apology. You are who you are. So, getting back to killing your father, what this means is developing your own value system in life. And so many guys, so many young guys I talked to, one of the biggest problems that they have is that, and it doesn't necessarily have to be your father because some of you didn't grow up with a father, you didn't have a father figure, but society, the world has become your father, your surrogate father. And the problem is that your value system is whatever the world tells you or someone else does. I had a video up on my YouTube channel and it got like 13,000 downvotes and 1,000 upvotes. And the most common comment on that YouTube video was, see, you're wrong. I can't believe you still have this video up. I can't believe you haven't taken it down by now. And I thought, holy shit. You guys think that I should take a fucking video down because other people don't like it. I didn't make the fucking video for other people. I made it because I believe it. If I believe something and 13,000 fucking people tell me I'm wrong, that doesn't fucking change it for me. I still believe it because, guess who's the most important fucking person in my life? It's me. My value system is the most important. I judge things by what I think if they're good or bad. And so many of us have gotten away from that and we judge things by whether other people think they're good or bad. You can't be a man unless you have your own value system. That's why you have to metaphorically kill your father because your father, in this case, represents a value system that you're adopting, getting approval, seeking approval from the father, from other people, from society, seeking validation. You have to kill that. The next one here is one also I struggled with which is conquering fear.