 Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, my name is Seppy and this is my sister's soul We haven't done a sit-down video together in like definitely a real year But I'm really excited to do this and I'm really glad to have a chit chat and deep talk with soul Just about life, what's been going on with us and how our mentalities might have changed since we last had a sit-down together and Just shed some wisdom and advice with you guys What do you think soul? I love that idea. I'm excited for this. I know I think we haven't done one of these in ages Also guys side note. Look at my teeth Soul did in Visaline. I'm so far. We've gone two shades lighter with my teeth I'm obsessed any of you guys want to see mine before and after Head over to the Dr. S dentistry Instagram to see Just go to any of my videos from 2021 or earlier and you'll see how different my smile was and I just love how it looks And one of those well, like you can't stop smiling because you'd be like it We're still gonna do some bonding. I think for a few of the teeth But if we do we'll shout that on the journey to make sure you follow I think you need to just leave it as is for at least a couple of weeks and then see if what you feel afterwards Because as much as I love bonding, I think this looks beautiful. Yeah, I think you've done a great job So we're gonna start off with some questions some of which you guys had sent into previously Some of which I've come up with which I think are a bit deep and that I would want to know From myself my point of view now and I want to know your point of view now on that The first one is Let's talk about love I love love. I love people in love. It's coming up to Valentine's Day So Speaking of do you have a date on Valentine's Day? No I'm not lying. I'm doing my masters in Liverpool And I'm going to Liverpool on my own. So Would you have had a date on Valentine's Day if you weren't going to Liverpool? Yes I don't have a date on Valentine's Day She really steals my thunder because I was going to be there like yeah, no, I don't have a date and then she goes no I don't have one. I was like, okay Um, I don't have a date on Valentine's Day, but I'm not going to lie to you guys I have had in the past weekend alone like people message me like out of the woodwork like hey Do you want to go out tonight? What are you doing? Blah blah blah. So I feel like guys sense Valentine's Day as much as girls And maybe don't want to be single on Valentine's Day, which I think I was speaking about this with some girls yesterday Sorry, not single on their own on Valentine's Day. Maybe maybe but I was speaking about with some some girls yesterday and um, some of them were single and some of them were in relationships and the one one of the girls who was in a relationship was saying I really don't care about Valentine's Day. And then The other girls were like it's because you have a boyfriend that you don't think it's a big deal Like by blah and she was like no even before that. I didn't think it was a big deal Um, so do you think it's big deal? Yeah, I think it is. I think when you don't have oxygen You only miss oxygen when you don't have oxygen. Does that make sense? So you think having someone is like having oxygen Maybe the wrong analogy. I was gonna say you really think of third Maybe the wrong analogy, but I feel like you don't You want it more when you don't have it and it's not so much you want it more There's been so many times where I have been so comfortable with being single and I find that other people have a problem with it I'd have colleagues patients asking me about my dating life and I'm happy with being single You know, I was happy with being single. It's other people that don't have They're not happy with it and have an issue with it. Yeah, and it's the same for Valentine's Day I was happy last Valentine's Day. I was happy like I was really looking forward to coming home Sitting down on the sofa with the dog and a takeaway and watching some nonsense on tv Or some old episodes of friends My parents had a reservation No outside and they were like no, no, no, no, you have to come with us. I was like, no They missed their reservation and took me to a local restaurant just so I could go with them So I'm not on my own on Valentine's Day. It was lovely However, you would have liked to be by yourself. Yes I really would have you know instead of taking pictures of them What do you think? Valentine's Day, I'm the kind of person I love. I'm very romantic. I love love. I love when When I am in a relationship, I'd love to celebrate Valentine's Day But I do think Valentine's Day might be seen as less important when you're in a relationship Like that's kind of new But let's say if you're married and a few years have passed and you hear like all these couples Like there's a podcast bar, etc. where they lose the spark They forget to like surprise their partner and they forget to do anything romantic And I feel like that's what Valentine's Day is really really good for in terms of love Like it's good to remind you to show Some love and affection and show that you've thought of someone I get that like it might be a queue for loads of brands and shops, etc I like to use it as marketing to get you to spend money and I feel like as a Romantic person myself I don't necessarily get the biggest joy on Valentine's Day from going and sitting in a restaurant Where all the tables are two people two people two people. I actually that that cringes me out a lot But I think it's more in like the flowers the thoughts the texts in the morning Like happy Valentine's Day and just that kind of stuff is more I like the cards The cards I just really like the card Is Valentine's Day a commercial exploitation of love? Yes But does it matter? No Any excuse to celebrate love is a good enough excuse. Yeah, I think that's a good one. Do you believe in soulmates? I really don't know Soulmates of the opposite sex or someone that you're physically attracted to or could it be that you're my soulmate? No, I mean like a partner in life soulmate Like one forever. Yeah I don't know sir Have you met anyone and you're like this is my soulmate because I feel like what I've understood soulmates to be As someone who from the get go you knew they were your soulmate I love at first sight love at first sight almost but like you just you sat with them You spoke with them and you clicked and you're like you're my lobster That's very cute Do I believe in that? Yeah I believe that there's something better than what I imagine there to be I'm not sure I understand that Yes, I've won someone that's perfect for me. Oh my god. That's lovely But what if that someone is tick boxes that aren't really there does that make sense? Like they're better than what you envision them to be They're just you know, they open your eyes their way of thinking is completely different to yours And they just compliment you like I don't want to date a copy of myself Yeah And it's so nice to have like Someone who teaches you new things shows you a whole new world Yeah, so I used to say that I'd love to see the eye in the world in four eyes And how nice is that when someone's outlook on life is completely different to yours? Yeah, it's beautiful I think that's one of the reasons why me personally. I'm a doctor. I've never dated a doctor It's just my job. What do you want me to say? But I've never dated a doctor and I feel like one of the reasons people always ask me that like How come you've never like gone out with a with a doctor like you've never ever given them a chance when when they show you Have you never gone on a date with a doctor? No, never ever like not even one date No, have you ever fancied anyone? like a doctor No, if it like as in not a realistic one like for example Oh, except you're gonna marry a doctor I don't believe that Personally, I don't mean that because I believe in the same thing as you and that I want to see Like I want to hear about different experiences like it's I personally and again This is probably a weird thing to say, but I don't really like dating at all Like I just I I'm not a fan of it Like I feel like I know from the start when I meet like someone If I'm going to get along with them and if it's going to progress or something And when your friend's kind of like force you like Give this guy a chance like you should go out on a date with him I can usually tell already in my brain's vetting process if this is going to work or not So I just don't like going on dates For like the sake of going on dates like I do mean a second date or a third day No, even a first date because with me I've never dated like online. So everyone who I've Been on a date with anyone who I've ever been on a date with I've met first or been introduced to first and then Going on a date with them. Okay So yeah, that's why I feel like in general I don't really like dating because I will usually know Before even the date just speaking to someone a bit if I would like them or not and Sometimes I just I feel like I prefer being which isn't I don't think it's the best way by the way But like sometimes when you're in like a certain mindset you have some goals You're like I really don't want to then spend this evening with this person Who I feel like even like give you a chance and yeah, there might be something But I know in my brain that you're not the one you've already made up your mind Yeah, I felt like I don't sometimes I just I don't even bother because I'm like there's no point And when I do bother my friend's like see you should give this person a chance and I'm like see I didn't like them You know So I feel like I really went off cue with what what we were talking about. What was the question? I really can't remember. I feel like we're talking about so many Yeah, and we're talking about dating doctors But yeah, like the same with doctors like I feel like when I've been on dates So I've been really fascinated by the other person They never ever like do anything that I know anything about because then I ask them about their work and I find it so intriguing And especially if like someone's an entrepreneur I find it really really cool that someone has their own drive Like I have a job where if I don't show up there is a bunch of people waiting for me There's a bunch of people dependent on me whereas when you're an entrepreneur You need to show up for yourself first So I find that really cool like when you when you date someone to like and they're an entrepreneur or something It gives you like that different mindset. So yeah I want someone to look at me the way I look at you I want someone to look at me the way you look at me too, but maybe in Less creepy. Yeah, not in a sibling way actually. So Yeah, and maybe I don't want that But do I believe in soul mates? I feel like no I feel like You sit with someone and after a while of letting your walls down naturally because I think everyone to some extent Always have some sort of guard or walls and and once you allow that to come down You allow yourself to converse with the person you can then see what they're really About and if you click and then that's what matters. I don't think I'd ever I've ever looked at someone I'm like, uh you you're mine Do you think you agree with that? No, I do. Yeah Yeah, there we go. That's what we think about soul mates How can you tell if someone's won't be you? Oh Uh They let me their chicken wings They let me drink their wine Just the casual stuff, you know, and I can speak to them freely without being judged, you know I start conversing I don't usually speak my mind I'm a hold back quite a bit And when I start speaking that's when I know I'm comfortable with someone. Yeah And then also when they make an effort with my family I really love that. I love that when people were one particular But that's quite far down the line, isn't it? Like I don't think no I like people to meet my family quite quickly Because if you're not going to get along then one of my best friends is like that. She um her ex partner Um, she introduced him after like three weeks of them being together because she wanted to know if like her mom and her dad liked him Um, and then she could still date him and they went out for like five six years So and also they're all I think about and everything else in life is just noise until the next time I see them Oh, yeah deep. Yeah I feel like you know if someone's the one for you if you feel most comfortable in yourself around them And you're harm. I read this thing and I realized it's so true like In my life if I've ever Dated someone and they've been right with me, especially since I've been an adult Not like when when you're younger. I only started dating when I was like 18 19 So when you're like at that age, I feel like you still have your own Insecurities and things but when you get a bit older and you know who you are a bit more and you're more comfortable in yourself Um, when you meet someone else and you can stay that same level of relax and calm with them But also find them really attractive. I think that's when you know, they're the one for you Don't you find that they become more attractive? Of course, of course And you look back you look back at like someone you dated me like oh like what was I thinking like you're so Not like as cute as I thought you were or something and then you remember like all the things they did to make you feel Excited and bubbly and that you're like, oh, yeah, okay now I get it Um, but I think that's how you know they're the one and also like I feel like it's a safety thing like I always want someone who makes me feel safe as well and Safe secure You know in your heart of heart when you start getting little anxieties about them That's it. My dad says something which is rather beautiful And it's that no one can fool us like we can fool ourselves. That's very true So you know when someone's toxic, you know when you see those red flags You don't need a friend or a sibling or anyone to tell you you've already seen it trust yourself So I feel like there's two types of toxic toxic I feel like there's the overtly obvious toxic the one who is horrible to you root to you puts you down And just makes you feel like crap. That's the first kind of negativity and toxic energy And then I feel like the second kind of toxic is the more dangerous one Because it's the person who seems so lovely and it's like the devil in disguise They'll make you feel like they're a lovely person that you can trust that are really nice But will just make you feel insecure about little things So they'll tell you that they love you and then they care about you, etc But for example, they might be like oh, but I'm not sure that I can be with you because I just don't think you know My family would think you're good enough for me That's toxic because that's someone saying I I think you're good enough for me, but they don't but they I'm think they won't they won't see you as good enough for me So that's I love you regardless of that. Yeah, you're not perfect And they will see that you're not perfect, but I will stand by you regardless of that like I feel like that's an example Fortunately, I've not dated someone like that But I hear it through my friends. I'm like, please see this for yourself because I like soul said I feel like you can't no one can fool you any you can fool yourself You can't wake up someone who's pretending to sleep. I think that's definitely one of the the other toxic people that you need to kind of keep Be aware of and keep in mind in your life And make sure that you don't give them too much of your energy if there was one thing And I guess this is another question for you to think about if there was one thing that you can go back and tell yourself From when you were like 20 years old, um or 19 years old, you don't even need to finish that Put yourself fast don't give up on yourself in terms of don't Put the time that you don't sacrifice the time that you have for yourself or someone else Be it anyone else in your life If you want to go to the gym still make time to go to the gym if you want to go out with your friends Still make time to go out with your friends. I'll give you guys an example as well of one of one of my friends Um, we were going out to dinner. We told her come to dinner with us We're going out to dinner, etc We'd said it from a week before and she hadn't responded yet So comes the day of the dinner. We're like, you're gonna come to dinner with us And she was like, oh, I'm gonna see if my boyfriend Goes to football then yeah, I'll come but if he decides not to go to football then I'm just gonna go and chill at his house So I think that's really prophetic So I feel like that's An example of a time where you are not prioritizing yourself and you're putting someone else ahead of you So as soon as you start disrespecting I found that as soon as I started disrespecting myself It made it very easy for other people to start disrespecting me And then I began to become resentful because they were disrespecting me. So now I Like to respect myself. I like to keep time for my family my friends My leisure activities Yeah, I think that's so true I think it does one thing that I could tell my younger self It would probably be To know my worth I think a lot of times I used to think that if I didn't give the answer that the other person wanted to hear And this could even go towards friendships as well and any sort of relationship not just um with a partner But I used to think that if I didn't give the answer that the other person wanted to hear That it would jeopardize my relationship with that person or make them feel bad and I would care more about How they felt then I would care about how I felt So it was your inner chimp trying to make them happy Chimp paradox guys if you guys haven't read it neither of I am going to read it I listened to it. He's got a new book out actually in the jungle So I'm going to read the chip paradox. We love The Diary of a CEO by Stephen. Oh, we just love Stephen I think that's one of my goals in life. I want to make it on time. No, we love Stephen so much He's so good. I love his podcast I think those are people have discovered his even more in the past year Right makes it even better because when you talk about him and his podcast people know what you're on about And they're under the same spell What do you think is a good age to start dating? It's up to you Whatever what's right for me is completely different for what's right for sappy We all reach Emotional maturity at a different age So you have to be A little emotionally mature, I guess I think if you don't want someone to take advantage of you, then you definitely need to be mature for sure because if you And we all naturally do it if we are all just going on the state with someone because we like them But we don't know what we expect of it. We don't know what we want from it We don't know anything then someone else can sway us So you have to know in your head even if it's nothing that you want you have to know I don't want anything So that no one else can sway you to what they want if that makes sense That's very true. It shouldn't be going to expectations. It shouldn't be what you expect From the other person. It's what you expect for yourself Does that make sense because you cannot predict how the other person will react and if they don't meet those Expectations that you have they'll make you really unhappy. However, if you have no expectations from them But you have certain standards that they need to meet. It's very different I really agree with that. I really agree. This is what I would like. I'd like to be treated with respect I'd like to I'd like a phone call. I'd like I don't know you want them to open the door for you like whatever those are And it should be what you want not what you expect from them. Does that make sense? I really really think that the times in life that you've been like really hurt or heartbroken let down by someone Is when you created them to be someone else in your head that they're not And that's why you've technically let yourself down not the other person letting you down You start dating someone for example And you let's say you're a guy and you think that the girl that you're dating is Super chill. She doesn't care about if you have loads of girl mates She doesn't care if you want to go out to the pub all the time with your friends She doesn't care about any of those things. She's super laid back. She's happy to see you Three times a week because you like three times a week and you want it to fit into your schedule And then she turns out to be someone who is not sure whether you're going out with your friends Once more date nights Rather than you going to the pub with your mates only wants to see you Twice a week not three times a week and then you'll laugh that being like The skull is so like not what I thought she was going to be and it's it's pretty much that it's because You've created something in your head rather than just letting someone be who they are and then seeing if that fits in with what you want 100% and I really agree with what's all sad of just because you're like not setting up this False idea in your head of what that person is doesn't mean that you shouldn't have expectations for yourself And you can voice if those expectations aren't that Don't be scared to voice them because the longer you're silent The more it will go on And the more upset you will be the other person doesn't know if we don't communicate with them They're not gonna know. Yeah, I agree with so for sure. And then let's say you meet someone who is quite toxic How would you advise someone to get out of toxic relationships because I know friends who've been in toxic relationships who've needed like the help of a therapist to get out of that first They are too scared to tell family and friends because that's a lot of the case like we're we're from Iran and We totally understand like every culture has its own mentality towards Dating and like we need to be like mindful and respectful of that too So maybe everyone can't go and tell their parents or their siblings that they are seeing someone And then if that person is quite toxic for them, they don't know how to end it and they don't have that support So what do you think you have to want to stop dating them? You have to want to be out of that relationship and you have to want to want better for yourself No one else can do it, but you you have to want that Yeah, sepi could want me to stop dating X Or my parents could but I'd have to want to ultimately the decision lies with me I have to see that they're toxic and then I have to do it And then I have to decide do I want to do it on my own or do I want to do it with their help Can I do it on my own use help the help of your friends and your family? Can I do it on my own or would it work best if I had their help? I think getting out of a toxic relationship can be so difficult because That person has a different kind of hold on you because they've Played a different mental game with you so to speak and that just makes it so much harder And if you don't have friends or family to support you and in breaking up with them, it can be difficult I would say the first thing I would do is work on my own self-esteem Right if you live with this person, I guess it can be harder So the other thing I would plan on doing is separating my finances so that I could Afford to move out if I need to right no one's saying that like if you're in a scenario that you need to run away from it Instantly unless you obviously fear something then obviously leave that scenario straight away But if it's just a case of someone not wanting good for you in general making you Feel overall lesser than you are or not getting what you deserve Then I think you need to plan an exit strategy. Whether that be moving out by yourself if you live with them Having your own income if you rely on them for financial income that could be really difficult So maybe getting a part-time job or a full-time job or a remote job And all of those things I think you need to plan those things so that when you have the when you've Plucked up the courage to say to them that you don't want to be with them anymore You don't need to linger around to have them drag you back in like you could be like, hey Really appreciate our time together But I don't think we work together because of x and I want x and you want y you want z and I want b You're talking apples. I'm talking pears. It doesn't work and don't give that person an opportunity To talk you out of it I think because if you sit around and wait for that opportunity Then you're going to be fooled and then you're going to be back into that cycle and you don't want that cycle I feel like that is everything Okay, and I want to have you tell me your favorite quote this to shall pass This to shall pass is a really good one Before we end this video We just want to draw your attention to what's going on in Iran If none of you guys are aware of what's happening in Iran There is a huge movement towards women's rights and freedom and general human rights for the people in Iran This all started since the death of masa amini in september 2022 the people in Iran have been protesting in the streets In iran and outside of iran the persian population has been supporting them This is a community of persians from all over the Kurdish the turkish iranians the azerbaijan iranians All of the persians have come together to stand up for the people of iran to be broken free from the dictatorship that is happening As a result of this many people who Who participated in peaceful protests are now being identified using security cameras in the streets and being called to prosecution and Being sentenced to death penalty Without many of them without a fair trial and many of them forced and beaten into giving false confessions It's been really really really difficult for us as iranians from outside to Watch and watch it and try and help and spread the message where we can Um, we've got some links down below in the description for anyone who feels like they can share the message Get involved sign petitions and try and get the whole world talking about this guys We'd really appreciate it if you could share and you could post about the movement in iran Every single post helps It really does. It's linked down in the description if you guys want to read more about what has triggered all of this What it is we're speaking about you can have a read. Thank you guys so much On a positive note, we wish you all a happy valentine's day in advance. We love you. We really do I love you. I love you too And we'll see you next time. Bye