 If someone shares something they're going through, is it rude to respond with a story about a similar experience you've had? I feel like all of us can relate to being on one side of this debate or the other. When someone tells me something that happened to them, I often respond with a story of something I've experienced. It's how I feel connected to people, but other people seem to think it's self-centered. Who is right here? There are certain people in my life I just don't go to for certain things because I have had that experience of feeling like everything is just like right back to you. And you know, one of my favorite phrases is do not go to the hardware store looking for peanut butter. It doesn't live there. So that's your responsibility to say like, that's not the friend I go to for that kind of support. I might have a different kind of relationship with them, but in this friendship, we do something different and that's okay. That doesn't mean that's a bad person. It's funny that we're getting this question because I was just watching a video and this content creator is also a therapist was talking about exactly this, about how when you respond to somebody's story with a story of your own, it's considered rude or self-centered. And I was curious because I do this. I had an ex call me a one upper and I never really understood like what the problem was. So in the comments section, I was super curious and there was all of this back and forth that was going on about neurodivergent people and how they show up in this specific way versus neurotypical people. So what is neurodivergent or neurotypical? Neurodivergent isn't actually a medical term, but it is a term that we use to describe the brains of people who might work slightly different than a typical brain. So they might have different struggles, but they also have different strengths. Now, you know that I have done a lot of inner inquiry and I've been on kind of a journey recently where I've started realizing that I actually do have a lot of traits that people with neurodivergence do. I was really curious about this debate that was going on. They were saying that for neurodivergent people, doing that thing where, oh, you had this experience, let me tell you about my experience is actually a way of relating. And then neurotypical people actually find it very dismissive of them, right? If they're the storyteller. What I think often happens in the case of someone, quote, one upping another person is something positive. So say I got a new job and I was like super excited to tell you about it and you're like, well, I got a new job too. I got something that happened for me that's good too. It's like, okay, well, amazing, but that also feels really dismissive of my thing. And so I feel like that's a little bit where I think it can be difficult to navigate how to speak to that in that context, because I can see where that would be alienating to the neurodivergent person in the way that you're describing it because that person might tell themselves the story. It's always about you. Anything that happens for me, you immediately bring it back to you and make it about your thing where from what you're saying, that's not what the person is attempting to do. They're attempting to connect. But if it's not something that you're empathizing with from like a support space but like a space of I'm just like you, the same thing happened that can feel really like, well, this was my thing and we just made it about you all of a sudden. How'd that happen? You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know. You and I seem to get along really well and I know I have a tendency to do that. So how does that, I guess, land for you? I don't necessarily experience you that way. I think it also has to do with the intention underneath it. There is the difference between speaking to a similar experience when I'm talking about something that's been challenging for me versus something that feels like a celebration that I want you to celebrate with me. I feel like you're like my biggest fan when something good happens. So I don't know. Can you think of a time when you've won up to me that I'm not thinking of and I just can't remember? I don't know. Maybe I just don't experience you that way. No, you're right. I think there is something about attention. I think I have gotten to the place of a practice where I still validate first. And then in a moment of connection, I might say, here's a way that I've struggled, but I don't do it without first saying, this is really hard. I see you struggling and all those validation words.