 Aloha and welcome to Books, Books, Books. I'm your host, Mihaila Stoops. And my guest is Virginia, Virginia Frank. She's an accomplished adoption and surrogacy attorney with offices in New York and Colorado and Oklahoma. Ginny and her company, More Choices Publications has authored and published a guided infertility journal called Baby or Not, Here We Grow. Ginny, thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. And I have to say, I love the title. I love the play on words. And it kind of tells me what this is. But would you please explain to our viewers and myself what is a guided infertility journal? This is kind of a hybrid product that we kind of put together because we saw a need in the community. And a friend of mine had actually come to me and had another friend of hers who had infertility issues, had not been able to have a baby and was actively going to an IVF clinic. And she really needed something. My friend was like, well, I got her flowers the first time. Now we're having a trouble again and she's going back to the clinic and now what do I give her? And there's no product on the market. So what we did was we put together a journal that somebody could write in and have their feelings about what's going on in their journey and their process of being infertile. Because it's for women, it's really a difficult time. And for me, I'm sure as well, but for women especially, then we also put a guided types of information where if you were infertile, this might be other options for you if in fact you can't get pregnant. And so we're really hoping that this meets the needs of people who are infertile, especially women, through IVF through your OB, GYN's office or even at a infertility clinic. And hopefully we get the word out that you don't have to go through it alone, you can actually write down your feelings and people would actually benefit from this product. And this is good for those that are supporting family members that are going through infertility and they want to help them. And you never know what to say, nothing can be quite right, but here's a gift that the recipient can use as their convenience and it may bring them some peace of sorts. Absolutely. We hope that people will get in touch with their feelings and be able to express their feelings with their spouse, loved one, their friends, family, where they can discuss their infertility and all the different psychological things that go through with it. Also, we are hoping that women can, who are going through infertility treatments that are taking all these meds, they're having ups and downs and they can record them here with the medication, places for medication, places for dates, times, keep everything in one spot. We're also really hoping that this journal is something that they could look back on when they do get pregnant, when they do adopt, when they do have surrogacy. Or maybe they just have at the end of the road a journal to look back on and say, I tried everything, maybe I don't really want to parent a child. And maybe that's okay. And so we're hoping that this journal here can really help people in throughout their life journey. Are there any similar journals on the market or is this the first of its kind? I haven't seen one before, I must say. You know, when we decided to do this product and I got this large discussion with friends and then I went to other people and said, do you really want this product? Do you think there's a need for that? Counselors, doctors, therapists, OBGYN physicians of all kinds in many states, they said, yes, we would love this product. However, we can't find anything that is really anything more than just a journal to write in about your feelings, but it's not guided. You know, there are lots of things that you might go through that you don't think about but you really are thinking about them and maybe you're angry and you don't really know why. This journal is going to be able to help somebody pinpoint maybe why they are really angry and the stages of grief and all the things that maybe they don't know that they don't know. And hopefully then they will understand what's going on with them. We even have a section on acupuncture which I think is something that nobody else thinks about really. They think it's maybe something that they shouldn't do or something like that to get pregnant. But the truth is it's been very successful for a lot of people. Maybe people didn't even know that. So it's in this journal. And I'm making the assumption that with your experience in the area of adoptions and surrogacy you've run across various situations and several professionals may have had to be involved. And can you tell us about the process and also of developing such a product, this journal and what kind of professionals are involved? I assume there's somebody that maybe better at providing spiritual comfort and then there's some parts that referring to medication schedules and so on. The two different professionals, right? Yes. Well, what we did was we interviewed a lot of people who had actually gone through the process which I think is your number one thing of goodness. You went through it. What do you need? What did you do? Who did you see? And so we took their information about what the process was for them. Then we went to professionals. So there was a lot of IVF doctors that weighed in on this, a lot of social workers that weighed in on this, therapists and people who were infertile. And then there is a small section on alternatives to having your own child through natural conception. IVF is one of them, of course, going to a clinic. There's egg donation. There's a surrogacy where perhaps you can't carry for some reason, maybe an unknown reason. And a lot of women don't know the reason, but they just can't get pregnant. But surrogacy would be an option for them if they wanted a biological child and wanted to harvest their own egg and harvest their partner's sperm. Or if, in fact, they would like to perhaps they have cancer and they cannot carry, then a surrogate would actually be something that they might look at, but also adoption. And there's a section on adoption that just talks about the general things about adoption to introduce you to that, to kind of get you to think about, this is just another alternative to having a child and parenting. We talk about a lot in this journal about the difference between being pregnant and parenting. And everyone is going to have to answer that question themselves of which one is really more important. And it may be that it's more important. The answer is more important today, but in a year or so the answer will change and it's more important for the other. So this is a think, basically, book that can help people just go through the issues. And do you think that the graphics and maybe the quotes are inspirational? Did it matter? Would somebody say, oh, you know, I could just type up my thoughts on my phone? I believe that the team that we have at More Choices Publication, actually they put in the graphics. I have a wonderful graphics lady. And the director there at More Choices, she did all the quotes and looked at all the different little pics and see what would make somebody's life a little bit fuller and a little joy to their life. This is a very heavy subject. And it has a lot of fear going through when you were going through IVF. And it's trying to, those quotes and those pictures are trying to lighten up what is a heavy subject and hoping that you can move through that. Do you have a certain part that you really like or you're most proud of in this journal? I believe that the whole journal is wonderful. I have never experienced infertility myself. However, my expertise is in adoption and surrogacy. And through those two things, I have helped build families throughout the United States and with surrogacy throughout the world. I'm really proud of that, working with the LGBT community, working with all sorts of diverse populations. And so I'm really proud that this journal is not just a journal for you to write your feelings down in. But it does have quotes and questions that really make you think, but that you also can learn about some alternatives. It's not going to be, you're going to need a lot more education, right? On adoption and surrogacy, if you choose one or the other, you're going to need a lot more. But this gives you the type of information where it's a starting point. Because I think that all of us, when we go to something new, it's kind of scary. And then we're like, where do we start? Where do we go from here? And so the proudest thing for me is that this is a guided infertility journal. It's not just a journal. And since there is no product that I know of in this field that has this hybrid journal, I'm really happy to have this out there for others. Well, and I'm sure there, I think what the infertility rate is about 15% for the US population. So you probably have a lot of people that would benefit from it. Well, thank you. It's now in Spanish. And it's now on Amazon in Spain. So we're really proud of that. It'll be turned into Portuguese next. And we are selling it in the UK. And next, probably after that, maybe India. Wow. So you're going worldwide with it? We are. And like, do you have any other plans for other journals? We do. We have a series. This is the baby or not here we grow is actually a series. And so the next journal is going to be for adoptive parents. And it comes out early August. The cover will be yellow. And it's going to help guide adoptive parents who have chosen adoption as the way to build their family. It's going to guide them through the adoption private private adoption portion of the adoption journey, which is a lot. It's actually a lot to manage. And so it's going to be a journal that actually is partnered or paired with a video series that we've also put out through marketing choices, which is the parent company. And we call it a little more about this company because marketing choices actually was born out of just need a necessity for adoption agencies not having any training. And so adoption choices, the company that my husband and I co-founded has nine licensed agencies that were under adoption choices name. And so there are adoptive parents all over the nation kind of asking the same questions every day. So we the first video series was basically came out of a need or to answer some of these questions over and over again. And to be able to have the couple be able to rewind, think about it and move along in their life and then come back to it. So that video series is going to have this book, the new book for the guided adoption journal in it so that you can actually write down your questions, write down prompts and things and then discuss them with your partner or your counselor at your adoption agency or attorney or whatever adoption professional you choose. So would you say that you're self-published? We are self-published. And it's harder than you think. Of course. Of course it is, but great ideas come in when one is in need of something. So that's excellent. We hope to be able to touch thousands of lives for the better. The journals aren't that expensive. They are on Amazon. So you could actually give it to a friend, give it to a family member, order it for them. They could order it themselves. And hopefully within the next few years you'll see a flyer at your OBGYN's office saying something about the journal where you could actually put your camera to the QR code. So that's our goal at least. So here in Maui or in the islands, would it be available just via Amazon or can I buy it, I don't know, Barnes & Nobles or how does it work? You can buy it at Amazon in Barnes & Noble. We have an application in for that. But being self-published, Amazon doesn't really like Barnes & Noble and Barnes & Noble doesn't like Amazon. So you have to have your own application for both. So we have, we should have it in Barnes & Noble within six months. And why is it important to you that this is in other languages as well? And like you chose Spanish. Are you dealing with a lot of clientele that may be using Spanish only or? Yes, Spain has some of the highest success in infertility treatment rates in the world. And so they have a lot of great clinics there. And we actually partnered with several attorneys and doctors over in Spain that would had really a need for this type of journal to give to their clients and patients. And so I think to Spanish is a language that is used around the world for various countries, if not a first language, a second language, and it can meet the needs of lots of different people. Yeah, my first thought originally was that, oh, you know, there's a lot of people in US that speak Spanish and may be more comfortable in, you know, dealing with their feelings in Spanish rather than in English. I was not aware about the fact that Spain has so much success in this area of infertility treatments and so on. So this is all very, very interesting. I must say it's a completely new topic for me. So, and this might be, you know, the last question to you, but if somebody watches this, watches the show, what is the one thing that you want them to remember about this journal and your efforts in general? The one thing that I would want them to remember is that they are not alone. And if you're going through infertility, there is some sort of tool out here that can guide you through your emotions, even if you have nothing else. This journal will also be able to guide you to different professionals where you can get your questions answered and hopefully get through the infertility journey, which is a tough one. Nobody ever thinks that they're going to be infertile and can't have a baby. But hopefully after going through this journal and talking to your doctors and professionals and seeing that there is not just one option, but many, that you too can achieve your goal of either being pregnant or parenting. I put myself in someone's shoes. I fortunately have not dealt with this, but I would not even know what questions to ask if I were to start considering other options and what should I, I don't even know what to ask. So I'm thinking that this journal may get somebody to, it may give them like an overview of what the process may be and the things they need to consider. And then of course they'll need more introspection and they'll need more details on the procedures and so on. And I just realized I have one more question for you regarding the content of the journal. Does it address or international adoptions? International adoptions are a subset of adoptions in the United States. However, those mainly have to go through the convention and the United States has been in decline for international adoptions in the last I'd say 20 years. In the adoption journal we do address international adoptions and if you'd like more information about that then August is the adoption journal and you can look at that. So in August this adoption journal would be available on Amazon? Yes. Hopefully we'll figure out Barnes & Noble by then as well and it'll be at Barnes & Noble as well. So you know obviously I think I'm very fortunate to have known you for many years now, probably six or seven. Knowing that the adoption journal is coming out in August I'm going to ask what's next? Surrogacy. So the next thing will be a surrogacy journal. It'll address all of that are dealing with infertility or perhaps the LGBT community that are same sex couples or somebody who's maybe just single. And so it'll address all of those things in the surrogacy journal which we expect to have by 2024. January. Wow this is wonderful. I love seeing people that identify need and they come up with a solution or a way to solve it and I'm sure that this will help a lot of people. And the ones that are forthcoming. Yes I hope so too. Right now it's just getting the word out that the journal exists and that's the biggest thing. So thank you so much for having me. It's always a pleasure to come on but it's very nice for you to think about. Absolutely and we'll want you to be back here and tell us about the adoption journal and then the surrogacy one and who knows what other idea you may be coming up with. Right? Yeah that's exactly right. Thank you so much for having me. Well thank you Ginny and to our viewers please make sure you go on Amazon and find this journal and gift it if you know somebody that is dealing with these issues buy it for yourself if you're the one that is dealing with infertility and we truly hope that it's going to help you. And a hui hou. Thank you so much for watching Think Tech Hawaii. If you like what we do please click the like and subscribe button on YouTube. You can also follow us on Facebook Instagram and LinkedIn. Check out our website thinktecawaii.com Mahalo.