 I was told by Kevin Samuels, he said, the only thing that you would be able to do to change any woman's thoughts is just to get married. We're done now. This is what he said, he told me. He said, you're podcasting and you're saying these things, are you in the comments saying this? And he was like, the only thing, that you're able to do to combat or to say what you're saying is true is to just get married. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Cause I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. I think unfortunately, too many of our women realize that when the hemisphere would say it's too late, when you hit this thing called the wall. The proverbial wall. The proverbial wall and you realize it when your sexual marketplace values at its lowest. So what are your thoughts on the whole concept of the wall and is it true? Is the wall true? Okay, so let's define the wall first. Okay, so the wall meaning when you get to a particular age, your sexual market value goes down. So the opportunities that you could have had with a particular man is not there anymore because of your age, because of your- Fertility. Fertility, yeah. Baggage. Yes, yeah. It's true. So I think there is a wall. There's outliers of course, but there is a wall. But when we have the conversations of the wall is as if walls can't be broken down. So the essence of the wall is, oh, you've hit it. And like you can't go through it. That I don't believe. Now the way that you go through the wall might be a little different than how you can jump over it at 20. You know, you gotta chip out some stuff but you can go through it. And I think that there's men that's willing to help you chip through that wall as well too. So I don't think and I hate the whole by dog, dialogue thing. I get those in my comments a lot. I don't think that's true. I don't think anyone has to dialogue regardless of the age, regardless if they have a child. It's just willing to understand that you might have done some things and you have baggage that you got to unpack and you have to do that work for yourself. And there's gonna be someone. I was, and maybe that's my being a hopeless romantic which I can take. But I just always feel like there's there is someone that's willing to not put up with your shit but willing to be with you. It might not be in the package that you want but it's gonna be in the package that you need. And that's my only pushback, right? So whenever the wall argument is used whenever I've seen it used it's never a you're 35, you're not gonna find anybody. It's you're 35, you're not gonna find that guy. Because what happens or what tends to happen in our community going back to earlier when you said you can't tell them anything is you can definitely not tell them to compromise their standards. And they still feel deserving of what they would have qualified for at an earlier age with less baggage. So the wall really is just an accountability measure to say either be willing to enthusiastically like you said, chip away at those standards that you have or you will have to die alone if you're unwilling to settle with, settle for the type of man that you actually qualify for. So is that reasonable? And I understand exactly what you're saying. And I guess there are men that are saying the wall is not saying that you can't get anyone. It's you're at a particular age in what you maybe could have had, you can't. And women do need to understand and I think that's logically speaking. Yes, I've seen some men that don't believe that. I've seen some men and again, I was, I have been told that because you are hit the wall over the wall, that you're going to die alone. Like no man wants you. So maybe the majority of men saying that but I have been literally told that no one wants you because you're 39 and you have a daughter. Like what man will want that? So it's interesting in this man's sphere that I'm not a part of, say I'm a Jason. Yeah, that's true. I'm right here. And listening to a lot of it really fractured my ego and confidence. Because it's really, really hard trying to learn and then be open and honest. And then it's like, oh, you're the typical black woman that we say that men should not want. And I hear it on a daily basis. So it's hard. So I don't know the wall I definitely get. This is not what I get in my DM sometimes. It'd be harsh. I'd be like, do you know me? But it is what it is, I guess. So, I guess my message to women would be, and I think this is what the well-meaning people are saying, be more realistic. So, for instance, Mrs. Average of Best, she felt deserving of a certain caliber of man because she had achieved certain things. She was running a six-figure business. That's not actually what stood out to me, right? What stood out to me, she said that, I'm finding I can't respect men who make less than me. So the men that she's dating, the men that she's attracting are men who do not make six figures. They might still be hardworking, men of integrity, teachers, coaches, actual men who are the foundation of this country. But I'm finding I cannot respect, submit to, join in partnership with this man or this type of man. And the only man I'm deserving of is this man that I really know nothing about, but just because he makes more money than me. So I tell women two things. You're not evaluated on the same curriculum as men. So making six figures would make you a better man. Doesn't necessarily make you a better woman. Owning a business makes you a better man. Doesn't necessarily make you a better woman. It's like, if I had hips, it doesn't make me a better man. You see what I'm saying? Because that's not what women value. So similarly, the whole idea of dying alone I think is a counterproductive way of putting it, but I understand what they're trying to say because unfortunately our women are unwilling to compromise. And they're unwilling to look past the fact going after Zabesco that this man doesn't make six figures because most people do not. And I need to respect him for his leadership skills, for his integrity, for his ability to be a good father, for his ability to provide and protect and everything else outside of the amount of zeros or in his bank account. But women aren't willing to admit that. So if you're not willing to admit that, then you will inevitably end up by yourself. Well, this is my question. So what if she doesn't want to compromise if that woman at average and best wants this type of man, let her try, let her fail. And you can't change a person what they want, even though you can see men that ain't gonna work out. So what? I feel like in this space, we women are, you guys are delusional and you need to look for this man and you need to be finding this man. And I get it because being rational, that makes sense. But I also see like another side, I think it's men that are these 40K a year, 50K a year, these men are wanting to bash it in women's head so they get a chance to be looked at. So if I make you feel ashamed of wanting what you want, then maybe I can bring you down to reality so you can look at me now. I would understand that if women were simply looking past these men, they're not just looking past these men, they're looking down on these men. Okay. You see what I'm saying? So, and these men are essentially saying, we're on the same level. You think you're higher than me because you make six figures, but you're a three. And based on what men value and based on what women value, I'm a three on a female scale because I make $30,000 a year. You're a three on a male scale because of how you look. So how dare you look down on me? I think that's what the men are saying. Now, with that being said, for me, when people say, well, just let them be delusional. My biggest issue with that is it sets a very dangerous precedent. Explain that. We cannot afford as a community to raise delusional boys. Delusional boys or having delusional women now? Delusional women raise delusional boys and raise delusional girls as well because they're setting this paradigm for girls, for instance, that you can still be sexy at 60. It's not true. Life will tell you it's not true. Hopefully your mom should have told you it's not true. How can you say that? Sexy at 60? Tell you the gray hair and all that stuff. Still got the nice body. And that's why I hate when I see these old women with BBLs because it's setting such a dangerous precedent. And then it's setting for boys that your resume doesn't have to be on par to qualify for that job. You should still be able to get that job. When I talk to college professors, what they're telling me is that they're getting reports back from employers saying that millennials, Gen Zers, after they graduate, they come in after two months, they think they should be manager. They don't take direction well. They're not open or reasonable with critique. They don't respect authority. And it's the precedent of that delusion that their mother has that passes into that. Well, let me ask you this because I don't know if I necessarily see that happening. So let's just take the average at best woman and say she had a daughter or whatnot. So she's wanting this type of man. Do you think that she's instilling or would instill that in her daughter? You make six figures where you better not ever bring no man home that makes less than. Yes. I don't hear mothers saying that. And I don't think it's necessarily like an overt don't bring six figures, but I think it sets a precedent. I think it sets the precedent of, so clearly the mother is not willing to dialogue with what actually qualifies her for that type of man. She wants to live in her delusion of I make six figures, so I deserve that type of man. Now you can put that in different scenarios. I bought the outfit, so I should make the basketball team or the cheerleading squad. I applied so I could actually get the job. So you raise entitled kids. Because that's all it is, it's entitlement. You hear people, and I actually made a video about this. I deserve. Yeah. Mama D, I deserve. It's the most. This is what I would do. It's the most overused, misused terms. You don't deserve a goddamn thing. Well, let me say this, because I think we put a lot of onus on mothers that are raised delusional, but my dad told me that I need to be self-sufficient. Wasn't just my mother, it's my dad. My dad told me, get your education and proud of me that I bought a home. My dad raised me this way as well too. So I don't know. But my daughter, her dad is to get your degree. You're going to college, you're doing this. And so I don't want you dependent on, I mean, dads are also doing this. Absolutely. So I don't, I understand the woman and being delusional, but then we're both delusional. Or is it delusion? Is it wrong to raise a girl, a little girl to be self-sufficient? Dads are saying if you want to go to med school, I mean, if you want to be a doctor, you have to go to med school. You have to get your degree in medicine. You have to check these boxes. Right. Mothers typically are saying if you want to be a doctor just dream it and you can achieve it. So men tend to be a lot more practical and pragmatic. And similarly, I wish people looked at relationships like a job. So like if you want to work for Google, a lot of motherfuckers want to work for Google, right? Do you have the resume? Do you have the references? Do you have the cultural disposition? Because resume and references get you in the job but when they're talking to you, do you fit in? Are you a culture fit? And those are the practical things that come in. So bringing it to the relationships sphere, women aren't asking themselves, do I have the resume? Do I have the references? I got you. Do I have the cultural disposition for this type of man? And as much as we critique the Kevin Sambers of the world, at a court, that's what he's saying. When he's saying you're gonna die alone is if you refuse to practically and accurately evaluate yourself based on the type of job you say you want and you're not willing to compromise, you're not willing to go get the skills, but some women getting the skills means losing 50 pounds. For some women getting the skills is keeping up on your appearance, being more agreeable, being more feminine, being more submissive. If you're not willing to do that, you will not get a job at Google. Now, if women were willing to be fried cooks at McDonald's and be happy with it, that would be a different case but they're not. Right. So they're gonna be unemployed. Yeah, so that's a good point. And again, that's why I think dads are important. Women being wanting a particular type of man that again, we could say, quote unquote, don't qualify for. Should we leave them alone or let them know that they don't qualify should change their, I guess their thought patterns on the situation? Yes. And even how you broke it down as in your resume. I think I even said that before, like a relationship, this resume is the essence of what do you bring to the table? How many times are we gonna tell these women? Do we keep on? I don't know. Like I'm trying to see from the big average at best till now and it's been over a year. What has changed? Well, I think you made a good point earlier. You said women are willing to listen because at the end of the day, it's like, unfortunately the kickback we're getting is that men just aren't good enough. So I'm a woman, I'm not finding success in relationships and romance. It's not because of me, it's because of men. And I have no clue what the type of man the, and that's why I ask the question, what kind of man would you be? I have no clue what he thinks. I've never had to because he's still in my DMs, he's still gonna sleep with me, but I never have to actually know him versus with men and I think that's the unique difference. I have to at least have a working understanding of you enough to manipulate you enough to be interested in me. Women never have to do that because you show titties, you show ass, you show face, and I see it. Okay, so this goes back to understanding that when we portray ourselves and the BBLs and all that and we throw that out there on social media, and this is what we're perceiving that you guys want and this is how I'm going to get a man if I get these surgeries. I don't know the resolve on letting women understand that that's just sex and it's not a relationship because women don't look at sex, it's just sex. We look at it in the realms of he wants to have sex with me because he wants to be with me because we look at it that way, like I want to have sex with you because I want to be with you. Thanks, that's true. So we don't, men have an amazing way to understand women, whether it's to manipulate or whatever, they get it, but understand men as well, like I'm a man and I understand that you're a woman. Women, we, how we feel about things, we put it on you. Like we don't separate men and women. We're like, no, men like big buds, so I'm going to get butt because that's what it makes sense and I'm going to have sex with him because he, I want to be with him and that means that if he has sex with me, he wants to be with me, not understanding that it doesn't work that way. We don't separate it. We put our values and what we want on you. Why do you think that is? I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out. Why? And I look at it even with me because I'm realizing in the past couple of years that a lot of things that I thought men wanted didn't mean anything. Like I'm realizing now that what I say I bring to the table is like, you're gonna really give a damn. So it's been an eye-opener and I haven't, I don't think reach where I understand why why do I, I don't know. I think two things happened. I think first and foremost is the feminism movement and you alluded to it, how black women took on white women's grievances with their men and tried to cape and bring that to our community. But the second thing that happened, I think has a lot to do with capitalism. So currently statistically, 80% of purchase decision-making is made by women. Whether or not they're the breadwinners. So I used to work in real estate finance. And when I talk to the realtors, they tell me that if a married couple walks in, even if the husband makes $300,000 a year, you're showing the wife the house because ultimately she is the decision maker. So with that being said, the entire marketing apparatus is aimed at telling women the story that they want to hear. So everything around you, ads, Instagram, movies, works is literally centering you as the player one in your movie, right? So when somebody comes in and they're telling you something objective, you feel like you have the option to dismiss reality because everything around you gets to or allows you to create the reality you want to see. You get on Instagram now, even if you look a hot mess, you put on the filter, you're a bad bitch. You're going face to face, photoshop, you get a BBL, you can literally be who you want to be. So I don't have to listen to you, sir. Yeah. So the problem with it is all that stuff is fictitious. It runs out, right? And people escape on a psychological level. People find a way to escape a reality that they're unwilling to dialogue with. So with our women, I don't think number one, they're understanding the ramifications. What this means for, like we complain about Gen Z right now. What this means for Gen Z, the gen that comes after them, what this means for them and their future prospects because unfortunately too many of them come to that realization when it's too late. Yeah. So how do we go from where we are now with, can't nobody tell me shit? Because I can be deluded, I can do bad all by myself too. Okay, you have a point. Because they're not even willing to listen to the man that they claim to be. No. That's the crazy part. And I mean, I think there's an awakening of women this past year, year and a half honestly. Like I am seeing more women like, being like Dern. I was completely living in La La Land and me being one. So I know that there is like a way, this is slowly but surely concept. But again, we've been living in this, it's not even been reality. It's been our procession of what we think reality is because everything has been with ads, movies, songs, has always been to placate and make us feel like we control a lot more than we do. And even if I'm not it, I can put it out to the world that I am it. So I can put this persona on social media and look away that I don't. I can get a wig, a long braid, dye my hair to be something that I'm not, make up, nail. I mean, it's the world has been something that we can go through and be fake with. But you're asking women right now to all of a sudden take that off and be like, okay, now we're here. I'm asking women, what do you want? That's part of the ghosting notebook, right? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Women want, you know, I don't even know if women really want to be in a relationship. I can't say that for sure because if we really did, then we would understand, I mean, we will be able to sacrifice something for it. You think they just like the aesthetic? I think it looks good. I think we want validation if we don't have it from a man, we'll just go social media and get it. So if we are validated and that's what you're for and I get it, then I don't need you. Maybe just for some sex, but I don't really need you because I'm not, you work for what you want. And we're not working for you. And it's like, what for? Because I get what that dopamine fix, I get it through the attention that I can get by being fake and not even being myself. And then it's like, even with the surgeries, the photo shops, the filters, you like me this way, but that's not who I am. Maybe I'm even scared to even come out and show you who I am because I've been living a lie. But do we want to, I'm going to have to say no. I'm so glad you admitted that because that's the reality. And that's something I talk about a lot. Our generation is more fixated on the aesthetic of love than the reality of love. And that's why people aren't willing to get their resume together because I really don't want that, man. I just want to, I want other women to know that I could back that man as opposed to really being a wife for that man. That was my aha moment. That was my aha moment. And yeah, we don't. And that's why we're in, it's not that we are not getting married because we don't want to be. Because, and then, okay. So the wall. Again, I believe in the proverbial wall. But I do think that it's kind of what men are putting out there to let women know is like, what you're looking over is really what you need. And they, I think they've been saying it on however level we've not been hearing it. So this is what makes Kevin Samuel's important because there's no beating around the bush. It's hitting and it's like, look, we've been quit doing this, like, because we want you. Y'all just not doing anything to show us that you want us. I disagree. I think from a, from a nature versus nurture standpoint, literally every animal species, including humans, the batteries in the back of their males is the ability and the opportunity to mate. So literally for 99.9% of heterosexual men, the reason why we get up and get dressed, put on perfume, if we're being completely honest, so we might be able to get some bitches. A friend of mine made a good point and he's like, damn, they're famous on Instagram. His audience is 90% female. He said that a couple of years ago, women said they like beards. So now every guy is growing a beard because it gets me closer to mating. So I'm gonna do, even if my shit don't connect. Right. Right. The struggle. And men are. Anthony Hamilton beards. Absolutely. I'm guilty. And men are trying and that energy isn't being reciprocated because women are spending their energy trying to be us as opposed to trying to be something we want. Well, that's what I said. I agree. I think men have been saying I want you and doing things, but women haven't been doing that to reciprocate the want. Taking Nicki Minaj, she said something on the shade room a while ago and was like, dear men, we dress our makeup, our hair, it's not for you. And when I say I went to the comments and I was like, yeah, that ain't for you. I look good for myself and my girls think I'm cute. And again, that's what it is. I get dressed for women. Straight for girls. And I made a comment and I was getting old hate a bit abroad is what I call them. And they was, because I was like, why are you getting dressed for yourself? You want to look good and sexy for you? Doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't you want the guy to look sexy for a man, especially if you want a man? So that again, but me even saying that was seem like a nuance and weird to even say that it's weird for you to get all fly for yourself or for your homegirls. See, that's part of the delusion because it's like even the type of man that I want doesn't deserve me. I don't, look, okay. So I'm trying to figure out like a resolve. And I was told by Kevin Samuels, he said the only thing that you would be able to do to change any woman's thoughts is just to get married. Wicked and down. This is what he said, he told me. He said, you're podcasting and you're saying these things are you in the comments saying this? And he was like, the only thing recording that you're able to do to combat or to say what you're saying is true is to just get married. And he's like a little sensei. Like he'll say that and then drop the mic and you be like, what the hell? And then you're sitting there thinking about like, what was you talking about? So that's, he's like the Riddler. He'll say it and you be like, what? And then it goes on this very little way and you're sent to a ponder, okay. And what I took from it is like, you're convicted of what you believe and you're understanding that this is what men want. But however, if you truly believed it in, then your goal should be getting married. If you truly believe that you're here to be a helpmate, maybe you need to shut the hell up and be a helpmate and be married. If you really follow, why weren't you in the lead? And if this is really what you want, again, this goes back to, do you want a relationship? Do you want to? It's like, because the men do want it, but you're in your own way. So if you believe all that that you're saying and if you want that, then put yourself in this and be married. So perfect segue, submission. Part of the reason I believe women just like the aesthetic of marriage, they want weddings, they don't actually want marriages. It's because they're not even willing to do something as simple as submit. Even though that is the mandate set by nature, it's the mandate set by God. So what is the visceral reaction and the pushback to submission from a female perspective? What do you think is so difficult about that for people to grasp, for women to grasp, especially ours? I think when women think about submission, it makes a lot of us feel as if we're beneath you. And women have been fighting to be like a man. So if I submit to you, that means you're in essence higher than me. So I, and that's why it's so easy for women to submit to their boss, because they understand that in the work, they have a leader. I have someone that I have to answer to. But in the home, we're equal in the home. So why would I submit to you and we're equal? No, you submit to me too. They don't, they're able to do it at work, but not do it at home. Is that reasonable? No. Why? If we're looking at relationships, we talk about a resume, we talk about it like a business. So you have every, take me flying the plane. There's one pilot that's gonna make this go. We're going to crash if you try to sit in my seat too and take over. Like, no, baby, we're going higher altitudes in this place. And this is what you want. Be co-pilot, chill out. Let me get this. It's not going to work. We're gonna crash and die and burn if you try to sit over here with me. That's for a job. Everybody can't be a leader. Everyone can't lead. Hmm. So we understand it on our job. We don't understand it at home. And I think the word submissive in a lot of our heads means being looked at as less than. Do you want a partner or a leader? A leader. What's the difference for you? When I think about someone leading and I'm following, like, I'm looking for, I'm looking to you for guidance. If I have a big decision that I need to make, I'm looking for you to tell me yes or no. I don't like making decisions. And I'm realizing that, well, I knew that about myself, but I don't. I actually like... You speak your truth. I like to be told what to do. Say how you want it. That's real. I do. So I don't, that's why I'm being like great, like a leader, like, tell me what to do. And I'll do it. And so with a partnership, because I got to make decisions with you and you don't know you looking at me and I got to tell you and maybe you tell me, I don't want to do all that. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. And you're willing to submit to the authority of a man who does that. That's what submission is. I'm submitting to your mission. You tell me what you want me to do. And for me, that's in every aspect of my life. So when it comes to the home, you know, what do you want me to do to make this house a home? It's a little bedroom. But anyway, come fit in my bed and just like what? And for me, I mean, this is just easy. I think women put so much shit on our bag. Like, the man would let him leave, girl. Just follow that, like, I don't understand. Well, we make things so hard. And it doesn't have to be. And I think we do, a lot of women deal with a whole lot of we put everything on our bag now. We want to be the man and we want to be the partner and you got to, before you do this, you got to get my approval. And we're doing this, but I don't think our bodies are built for that. And I think the over excessiveness of eating or drinking, watching TV, it's a getaway of the stress that we put on ourselves for being something that we wasn't ordained to be. Like, doesn't that sound just so like peaceful and calming just letting the man do it? Not to me, but I got to say that. I got to say that. Like, why do you want, I don't want this now, take that off, baby, go ahead, you got that. But I don't know, but it doesn't sound peaceful to you, but that's why you're built. That's why you're strong. That's why you're more logical than emotional because you can handle it. You're built for it. I'm not built for that. What you want me to do, baby? Catch you pose? So, last question and close it out. Describe in as much detail as you can if you were to have another child and it was a boy. What type of son did you want to raise? Well, I wouldn't, okay. Well, daddy's gonna have to put this in him. So it would be my husband, my superhero, my strong provider that I'm willing to follow his integrity, his love of God, his sense of humor and his ability to love me through it all. That's who I want to marry. And that's gonna be who my son will be. My son is going to be his dad because he's going to look up to him. He's gonna want that naturally he will. So it's dependent on me to have that husband. And if I want that son, it's gonna be the reflection of who I lay with. So I'm gonna raise my son. He's gonna raise him to be the man that he is. And it's on my duty to make sure I pop, lock and drop it on my husband that is that man. Turn it all out, noodle.