 Radiant Church presents Radiant Stories, a collection of stories that showcase God's faithfulness to take our hopeless situations and craft them into beautiful testimonies of His power, provision, and love. That's heresy. That's heresy. Don't, don't get me... Shut it down. I don't want that recorded. Yeah, that's fine. That's awesome. Okay, are the mics okay? Okay, so, well, this is Radiant Stories. I'm on a riddering. Today we have Candace Davis. And Candace, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself before we get into it? Yes, well, I am married to Stefan Davis, who is the Portage Campus pastor. And we have two little girls, five years...actually, she just turned six. Six-year-old and a almost three-year-old. I am in grad school for Master of Arts in Mental Health Counseling. Busy, busy life, but love, love every minute of it, honestly. Love everything a part of it. Yeah, so you have a lot of different spheres that you operate in. You're in school, you're a mom, you are in ministry, and today we're going to kind of talk about what living authentically within each of those spheres looks like to you and kind of the experience that you've had with it and the lessons you've learned through it, because you just moved up here, what, two years ago, three years ago? Yeah, two years in March. Yeah, and you and your husband, Pastor Seven Davis, launched the Portage Campus. And so that was a whole new kind of side of ministry for you, because for a while you guys were really in discipleship and... Yeah, we were doing a lot of youth ministry, young adult ministry, and so focusing mostly on with adults and families, yeah, it was very new for us. Yeah, so talk about kind of what that change was like. What are the lessons that you've learned about living authentically within each of these spheres and being true to the testimony of Jesus? You know, I think that to compartmentalize, it destroys any potential for authenticity, because we have to recognize that we are our full self no matter in what area we operate in. You can't just take parts of yourself and say, I'm going to be this here, and I'm going to be this here, but you have to be your full self in every area. So for me, I just living authentically in all the areas of my life has so much to do with being rooted with Jesus and spending time with Him in a real intentional way that's one-on-one and allowing Him to speak into those different areas of my life. You know, the way that I'm mother, the way that I am a wife, the way that I do ministry, the way that I'm a student, and Him speaking into all of those areas allows me to be transparent because I feel like I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do when He's challenging me and talking to me. Absolutely. You talked about being intentional and being rooted in your time specifically with Him. What practical things have you done or have you changed over the years to kind of make this your everyday life? You know, when we talk to the Lord, He is the same no matter what topic we're talking to Him about. So when I talk to Him about ministry or having issues with my girls or what do I do with school in this area or whatever, He is so consistent and steady in the way that He's talking to me. And for me, when I went into motherhood, it changed everything. You just have not as much time as you used to have and recognizing that there's so much grace and it's not a shock to the Lord like, oh great, you went off and had kids, so now less time for us. And not just because you have less time with me, now your ministry output is going to go down too and your influence is going to go down. And that is complete lie as I've discovered, you know. And realizing that stepping into different aspects of life, whatever the Lord is calling me into or whatever I choose to go into, the Lord will give me not only grace but favor in those areas and in submitting to Him in those ways, I think that He gives us influence. He gives us, you know, that favor. And so I just have to recognize when I am running low and make that time for Him. So I spend time with Him, you know, in the mornings before my girls get up, that's always very helpful. Is it consistent? No, wish it was. But it's recognizing when you're running low, when it's just not sustainable anymore. Like I'm running on maybe yesterday's, you know, manna, so to speak. Like I can't, it's just not a sustainable sort of lifestyle. So I have to be consistently with Him, just like I am with my husband. Like I have to have communication with Him always if we're going to have a healthy marriage. And so the same goes with the Lord. And not only do I have to have that one-on-one time with Him, but I also have to engage Him just throughout my day. Recognize that He's present, always present. His accessibility is not limited to my capacity. Thank God. You know, like He is always accessible. And if I'm in any given moment, if I am just stressed to the max with writing a paper, or maybe I'm in a conflict with my husband, or I'm in a moment where my kids are making me lose my mind, I have to stop and go, okay, I need to pause. I need to back up. Lord, I need you in this moment. Like come, come be with me. And that's where you sense the grace. That's where you sense His presence instantly with you. That's something so, so many people can relate to. I mean, I can definitely relate to it. There are things about my character that I'm like, I'm definitely prone to, you know, self-imploding. Things like that, that I have to take a moment and just be like, you know what, this is not who I was created to be. This is just like a side effect of the stress of my life and all these things. And this is not what the Lord has for me today. It never is. And so choosing to accept His grace also is a huge part of it because He has grace to spare, like you said. I feel like a lot of that maybe comes from the vulnerability that you've learned to have in the presence of the Lord. I mean, how has that made a difference in your prayer life is coming from the Lord and being vulnerable and constantly repenting? You know, I think sometimes we're hard on ourselves when we have to apologize a lot, you know? When I am able to repent, it says something not just about myself but about the Lord, that He's actually graceful and forgiving and merciful and kind. And what keeps me going back to the place of repentance is Him. It's His kindness that leads us to repentance. It's not just my desire for perfection. It's not just my desire for more influence, right? Like, oh my gosh, I have to change who I am, so I need to apologize and make amends and whatever. It's something bigger than that. It's bigger than myself. It's realizing He actually wants us to come to Him no matter how often it is, no matter how many times in a day I have to come back to Him and say something, you know? And so repentance has, it's just that reset for me. It's a reset button. I really do feel like it's, even though it is something that is commanded of us, is kind of taboo to talk about. Like saying the word repentance, we always feel like we're being rebuked when we're really called to it in grace. But it requires a level of vulnerability because for you to repent and just say, I think there's something deeper that happens when you repent not just for your action but something that was actually in your heart that caused that action, you know, out of the heart the mouth speaks. And so for me, it's not just about saying, oh, I'm so sorry I said that. It's I'm sorry I had bitterness in me. I'm sorry I had anger in me. I had jealousy in me. I had envy in me. It's getting to the heart of it and not just the actions of it. It says something about the Lord. He's not just in it to change all of our actions. He's in it to change our heart. Do you feel like the lesson or the practice of being vulnerable with the Lord in order to be authentic in every aspect of your life? Do you feel like that's kind of been maybe a lifelong lesson that you've been learning or was there kind of a turning point in the different areas of ministry that you've been in? Because I feel like I would become so self-aware of the repentance that I need to have if I'm discipling young people all the time and you're like, dang, these people are broken, but also so am I. Like I still struggle with these same things. Do you feel like there was maybe a point in the years of ministry that you've been in that you were like, man, vulnerability is the key. Repentance is the key that I'm kind of missing instead of just trying to constantly change my character on my own in my own striving. Yeah, what did that look like? In my early 20s I did an internship and that changed my life. It's the place that I discovered real intimacy with the Lord and I stumbled upon a language through journaling of prayer and really talking with him about my life and my heart and the inner workings of who I am. And I kind of am a vulnerable person by nature. I'm sort of one of those people that wear my heart on my sleeve and so I have to more reel it in than anything. You're not prying me open. I am open already. I need to sort of reel it in. And so I recognized I had this habit of being with the Lord where it was all focused on me. You know, like God changed me or yeah, I repent for this and there was a moment that sort of changed where I was talking with Stefan, we were dating at the time and he said what would happen if you just spent time with the Lord and didn't talk about yourself or what you needed to work on or anything and you just looked at him and worshiped him and discovered him. In the Bible it talks about how as you look at the perfect the imperfect disappears. And so I recognize that vulnerability and authenticity they are paired together. They go well together. They are connected. I think what you said is key is just that realization you had where if you just sit in the presence of the Lord and gaze on his beauty and his perfection, the imperfect disappears. And I feel like that's a hard lesson to learn because people constantly want to go to the Lord and be like please God fix me. I'm terrible at this. You're perfect at this. That is such an interesting and powerful thing to try and practice in your alone time. It's just sitting and not even doing any self-reflection is so and self-awareness is so important but just sitting and gazing at him and worshiping who he is in his full perfection and his glory is inevitably going to change you I feel like. But vulnerability and authenticity isn't just alone with the Lord. As I realized in that my early 20s that this can't just be about me trying to be a better me. That's good at all. But God's not trying to actually make me a better Christian. He just wants my heart. And I realized that as I was trying to develop myself he wanted to bring other people in on that process. And I think when we see things in ourselves that we don't want to talk about them with other people. We want it to just... It's easier to just go to the Lord and just keep it between you and him. No one else needs to know. I can work it out with him. And that's fine. I'll just pray a lot. And maybe I'll fast a little. And we'll be good. And it's enough that I'm asking for help. It's enough that I'm repenting but I think the Lord wants to bring people into that process. I mean, the Lord even tells us confess your sins to one another and he's faithful to heal and to forgive. And there's that component of bringing other people into your vulnerability and becoming authentically you in loving Jesus. I mean, I can't just... That goes back to what we're saying about compartmentalizing. I cannot just be a vulnerable person with just my closest friends and that's it. You know what I mean? I'm not going to tell everybody your sins but I'm saying that I have to be real with a select few and if I'm doing that well, chances are I can be a better person even on the fringes. Does that make sense? Yeah. I love it. What we're talking about today is such a good reminder for those people that have maybe been faithful or are just in a rut. The goal is not to be a better person in all of these ways. Like you said, it's because Jesus is worthy. That has to be the thing that we're all running after. If the goal is to better yourself as a person then it's for your own glory. Or even as a Christian. I just want to be a better Christian. I'm supposed to do all the right things. I'm supposed to do these things. I don't know, I just think that I just have this vision that there's men and women and children in a relationship with the Lord that is so real that he's like a real person to them. I mean, he is a real person but he is a real person to them. It's not just a good idea or what we do or a thing to check off the list. It's like I see people who are sleeping. They're alive but they're not awake in living. And it's not until we really like stumble upon this intimate relationship with the Lord that we wake up and live. These people that you're describing where would it start for them? Like what is a practical first step to cultivating an intimate, authentic life in the Lord? You know the definition of insanity is to do the same things over and over again expecting different results. If you're not happy with your life in God you need to do something different. If you want something more then you need to do something different than what you're already doing. If your time with the Lord looks like reading a Bible app for five minutes in bed and that's not working for you and you want more, you need to stop doing that and do something else or more than that. If you're alone with the Lord once a week for 15 minutes in the car driving with a worship song on and you want more and you feel dull and dry and you go to church on a Sunday and you're like why is everyone encountering God and I'm not. What's wrong with me? Stop, pause. What you need to do is you need to start doing something different. You need to do something more. And people always say well I don't have time, not true. That's not true. People are very busy. I'm very busy. Everyone is. We don't need to compare on that but you do have time. You make time for what you care about. And so the bare bones of it is having a community that wants to do that with you. It's doing different things than you've already, than you've ever done with the Lord. And then having follow up to all of that within your community with the Lord. It's this cycle that starts to happen. It's like a ball that starts to roll and then you gain momentum and the next thing you know it's you've taken off and now you're on this trajectory for depth. You're on this trajectory for intimacy. You're on that to authenticity and vulnerability. And all the benefits that come with it. Yes. All of it. Yep. That's great. And then we'll fade out.