 Good morning. It's Bridget. Welcome to Sunday Morning Coffee with Bridget. Ooh, I'm cozy this morning. I'm all snuggled up with my little space heater going. Some of you can relate to that. Some of you may not. I invite you to grab a warm cup of coffee or tea and settle in. Today we're gonna have a conversation about gratitude. No, you do not have to worry. This is not going to be a lecture. This is not along the lines of be positive no matter what. This is not about sucking it up and grin and burying it. You see, I have had a bit of a challenge with this word gratitude and for years, even when Oprah suggested we do a gratitude list, I was like, easy for you to say rich, wealthy, famous lady. So I'm gonna share with you. There are shadows, of course, to this concept of gratitude and I will admit mindfully because I think they're relatable. And then I will share with you a bit about how gratitude really is something that we can use. It's actually a helpful, energetic stream. All right. So the shadow side of it, full disclosure, I have every time I heard about, well, just to be grateful, just be grateful. It feels like someone, whether it's a spiritual teacher, a life coach, some incredibly powerful motivational speaker, saying gratitude, gratitude, I truly felt like a little kid being told that I want too much, or that I think I'm all that, or that I want more than I'm capable of having at the time. I literally felt like every time I heard about gratitude that it meant I wanted too much and I should be satisfied with what I have, it meant I should settle for what I have because that's as good as it's gonna get for me. Or I know that sounds harsh, doesn't that sound harsh? But I'm sharing with you truthfully, like when somebody says we'll be grateful. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I want more than what I have. Well, or that I'm selfish. That's another common shadow. Well, you want too much, therefore, you are selfish and this, these things that I'm describing to you, these shadow sides of what gratitude was bringing out for me or triggering for me personally over these years has been truly related to, I think, more of a sense of scarcity or a lack. And in particular, an element, a very strong, very dominant element of judgment. I bet many of you can relate to that in our critic and judge. So when you've heard about gratitude, it may be difficult. There might be some resistance in your own personal life in your own field to be open-hearted toward this concept of gratitude and using it as a powerful and an inspiring tool for you to really help you to heal, to feel good because gratitude is about feeling good truly. That's what it's about. Just basic. It's about feeling good. It's not about judgment and the shadow of it collectively really can feel like it's a criticism about wanting more. You shouldn't want so much. You should be satisfied with what you have. And many of us have been born and raised in environments and cultures and family units and structures where there's been struggle. There's been struggle with money or there's been struggle with mental health or comparison or there's been a lot that we have been dealing with and the idea of potentially having dreams that are bigger than what other people could understand or support us in, especially younger, especially when you're living with your family of origin or your family unit, or even a partner that really doesn't understand that there is this limitless abundance that we're all generative and there is a source that is constantly renewable and resourcing us. It can be very very challenging because then again this underbelly, the shadow part of this judgment comes out and so then when there's gratitude, this gratitude is sometimes utilized as this, like cover over the pot. So if you have a, if you're the pot with the bubbling water and you're like, ooh, ideas and dreams and all these cool wants and desires and you want more and which is great, which is human, which is inspiring and and somebody comes along and says, well, you should be grateful. It sometimes can feel like a cover over your pot. Like, don't bubble over, don't get too big, because when you get too big and you have too big of dreams, it can put you at risk and well-meaning, well-intended individuals and people will, I think misuse the concept of gratitude for that purpose. It kind of feels like to keep you small, but it's not really about controlling you. It's about trying to keep you safe, playing a role that oftentimes our ego mind would play for us. Do you see how the judge energy now comes right into this? Yes, absolutely. Judgment is a form of control to keep you safe. It is by design and is within yourself. You trigger it within yourself and other people reflect this back into you and it does keep you in a state of resistance toward things that are actually very, very good for you. So gratitude is good. So let's talk about how gratitude is good. What does this really mean? And let me share this with you because I've been working on compassion during the month of February. I've been really working on understanding and being more compassionate toward myself because the thing is, my friends, these concepts, these incredible human concepts that we talk about in Sunday morning coffee that are very energetic, they are about us within ourselves first because when you embody the supportive energetic vibration of what gratitude, for example, really means, really is, your life will get better. It will get better. You will, because, because you will feel better. These things are by design to help you feel good, to help you feel good, better than you have felt to improve your life and it can be subtle and it should be subtle and consistent. So gratitude is good and for me, the energy of the compassion that I've been working with, softening my, my judgment on myself, allowing self-forgiveness, little bits at a time. It is a lifelong process for me and I'm sure many of you can relate to that doing our self-work, right? But gratitude comes in here and I really want to share this with you because it feels like along the lines of like, oh, be positive no matter what's happening to you or always look on the sunny side, always look on the bright side, always be focused on the glass half full, always be this, always be that. And while these, these things can help at times with your mood because you can shift your attitude, sometimes you can arm wrestle your mind into changing your thoughts and shift your attitude based on that. Yeah, sometimes that can happen. Yeah, when you focus on the good but with gratitude, here's what I've discovered about it. For me, it has been about understanding that being present, being right here, right now present, gives me the most powerful, the most powerful energy of support, of love, of just strength within myself, gratitude is being present for what is. It's not about wishing things were different, wanting things to be different in the future. It's not about planning your life so you're making changes in the now moment for a better life. It's not about reflecting from the past and all that you've been through. It's about the now moment, the present. And this is where you know yourself right here, right now. This is where you don't judge yourself. This is where you get to just be in the moment and breathe, take a breath with me and just breathe in the moment. Just breathe, just breathe. And then I look around myself and in this now moment, I look for things that are so simple that provide me with pleasure, that bring me this feeling of good, of goodness, the simple goodness. So, you know what feels good to me right now? My space heater. I'm sitting up in my bed with a couple of blankets on because it's a little chilly downstairs, you know, so and I hear the soft sound of the fan of the heater and I can feel the heat coming toward me, just kind of in little gentle waves and it feels, it feels good. It gives me a level of comfort of nurturing that warm air. Oh, that warm air. It's so nurturing to me. It just makes me smile. It makes my body feel good and this cozy soft blanket that I have, I actually have this really great. It's a white blanket with purple paisleys outlined in gray on it. That one of my sweet sweet clients a long time ago gifted to me at a retreat. She gave me this beautiful blanket and I have it on my bed and so it's really, really soft. So the touch of it, I'm so grateful for how soft it is and the touch of it is just so sweet and it feels loving and it's kind energy. And I'm grateful for that. I'm also very grateful for this now moment for the presence of early in the morning. It's about 5 15 a.m. and it's dark. The light hasn't begun to come in through the windows yet and the house is quiet and there is a resonance of peace and even though I have incredible stressors in my personal life, they're affecting my body and my mind and my heart and my relationships and absolutely everything. In this now moment, this stillness, this morning peace lets me breathe and I feel so grateful. So gratitude is a vibration of goodness. It doesn't have to be something you force to change out of a bad attitude or a bad mood. Gratitude is simply the gift of awareness of the present moment. For some it can be accepting what is, allowing yourself to notice the small subtle goodness right here right now. If you're driving to a doctor's appointment now, I've had this experience recently. You're driving to a doctor's appointment and it's stressful and you have tests going on and you don't know what's gonna happen and the roads are bad, it just happens to be the iciest, leadiest time and you're heading downtown and you live far away from there and it's a long drive and there's like, I mean, it's a whole thing, right? But in driving there, noticing the vehicle, you're riding in, the fact that you have transportation to get there. Wow. I mean, that's a big deal. That is a comfortable transportation. That I actually am wearing boots that I bought for myself a couple of months ago that I happened to really love with a big lug sole on them and they're kind of cool, kind of loud and they feel kind of badass. And on this day, going to the doctor's appointments, the specialist, I am wearing my boots, which I don't usually wear them for that kind of thing, but I just felt like I wanted to feel into myself and I wanted to really feel good. So I have gratitude for the fact that I had the opportunity to purchase these boots. I had the money to buy these boots and for how they make me feel in my body because they represent more of who I am in my expression, gratitude to be able to express myself, simple things like that, even in extraordinarily stressful moments. That is the point of gratitude. It brings in the good. It amplifies the goodness. It's not this this energetic of just toxic positivity or be positive, no matter what. It's not about that. That's just kind of bullying your brain. That doesn't help you. And neither does the energy of judgment that can feel attached to gratitude, at least for me. Like, what isn't your life good enough as it is? I'm like, yes, it is. Thank you very much, but also I want more. Not because I'm a selfish, horrible person, but because I am an inspired dreamer and I know that when I move forward and I reach for my dreams and I move toward goals that it will not just help me, but it will help everyone that is connected to me, that is attached to me, anyone that listens to me, anyone that watches me, anyone that comes to me for work or for my personal connections, it will help a lot of other people. So, too, are your dreams exactly like that? It's a rippling effect. And by you feeling inspired, feeling good in the moments where you can, even if it's debilitating, even if you just lost your job, even if you got a health diagnosis, in the now moments, gratitude will build a bridge for you. It will give you a structure of support, a very simple way to bring in and amplify the goodness that you are connected to. You are connected to goodness. You are. You are. And you have the right to feel good. And you have the ability to feel better at any given moment in any situation. Yeah, even at the funeral. You can feel good. You can feel better when you connect to this energy of gratitude in a new way, in a new way. Now, I know some of you will be listening to this and you are gratitude masters. You, you work the gratitude journals, you know how to, like, you get this. It's kind of like abundance for you. It's like manifesting for you. And that's great. That's awesome. I'm very happy for you if you have a handle on that. As for me, I don't. It's a work in progress. But I understand now that gratitude is a tool. It's the ability to feel into the goodness in the now moment. It's about being present for what is. It's not forcing me to deal with life and and change, forcibly change my attitude. It's an incredible opportunity to be connected with the good in any given moment. To be connected with the good in any moment. That's what gratitude is. The opportunity to be connected with the good in any situation, scenario or moment. That's what it is. And now doesn't that feel a bit better? Mm-hmm. I hope so. I hope I've inspired your spirit and filled you with some hope today on the Sunday Morning Coffee Podcast episode. This is Bridget and it's my pleasure to be able to connect with you in this way. Thanks so much for listening.