 hi y'all she was seven i'm back um oh god i have gum let's go okay so i have put all these videos and talked about this and talked about that now the only thing that people keep asking me who are a little bit young and some men what about love what about love does love even matter anymore hmm well that's a good question does it really matter anymore does being in love with someone matter if you have you know a relationship that you like a relationship that you want a lifestyle that you want you know does it matter and what i'm asking that for is because most people especially men do they need love to have sex ask yourself this question do men need love to have sex the answer is no then you've answered the question do women need love to get married do women need love to be with the man no it's the same thing we value different things men value the physical sex looks you know what a what a woman can make them feel like and women value comfort lifestyle and also attention so does love really have anything to do with it i mean we've all had that first love okay that high school love or that college love or that puppy love or whatever and we thought we were in love we were like oh my god i'm so and then you know then it was over we got heartbroken we were like oh was that really love or was that just infatuation the thing is being in love with someone is being infatuated with them attracted to them drawn to them and once you've been with someone for over five six seven eight nine ten years that feeling of being in love or infatuated is gone you know they call it the honeymoon phase it's gone and basically what you have is someone who is almost like a family member who is there all the time you know i mean of course there's a sexual exchange but it's not on that same level of intensity as when you first meet okay it's gone so if you're a woman and you're not married and you have not been in a super long-term relationship and you're asking me if is love truly important well if you're initially attracted to the person in the first place that's a good thing why because you you can still be turned on by him you know in the future down the line when you know you've seen everything he's he's done had you know all his habits and you know everything about him after you get bored of him you know at least he can still turn you on you know if need be now if you marry someone who is not like that and you know doesn't do it for you and you're gonna be with this person for many many years and they're gonna want to do this and they're gonna want to do that they're gonna want to be intimate with you so it's important to marry or it's important to be in a relationship with someone you can at least stomach or stand okay i'm so what i'm saying is men men are the same way they're not going to go find the worst-looking woman because she has she looks good on paper and marry her you know they're not going to go do that they're going to at least have to stomach being with them so what does love really have to do with it after being together five six seven years you love the person as far as you care about them and their well-being and their safety and if they're emotionally happy and blah blah blah yeah if you want to call that love it's genuine concern you know it's it's concern for their well-being but in my opinion this is just my opinion the only true love that exists is love for yourself and love for your offspring your children okay because it's especially with your kids you know it's unconditional you're not gonna you're not gonna leave your kid unless you're unless you're like extremely religious and they go against what you believe but your most typical parents are not going to you know turn their backs on their kids um for silly things like a woman would you know break up with her husband for like oh you did this we can't be together anymore it's over get out of my life you know those are conditions so when you say you love someone is it really love or is it possession or is it conditions we love under possessions conditions um circumstance so love is defined by the person who's in the relationship okay i could say i love my husband she can say she loves her husband but we're not going to be loving them in the same exact way okay to her loving could be fixing him a meal and making sure he gets to watch his game and making sure the kids aren't around to disturb him and to me loving him could be calling him and saying hi how was your day what do you want to eat for dinner um and then and then another woman loving him could be stripping butt naked and dancing for him i don't know but women have different ways to show love and it's not about the infatuation the honeymoon stage it gets over fast so if you are going to be in a relationship you need to be able to stomach the person first of all you need to be you need to learn how they consider love being shown to them because some people if you buy them a gift that's how you show love if you fix them a meal and like service and clean for them and clean up their room and have the house clean when they wake up that's a form of uh showing love if if a man comes home and he has roses and cheap candy as long as it's some type of gift and like giving that's that's another form of love okay also words and attention that's a form of words so you don't have to buy certain people anything you just got to sit there and fawn over them oh you're so beautiful oh you're so handsome oh you did they feed on that and however they get their fix and however they get love and however they feel love it's different for each person so you have to know what type of person that you're going to be with like for example there's some women who like gifts and that's how they feel loved there's some women who like attention and that's how they feel loved and then there's some women who like them to do things for them you know that's love and same with men you know so you guys can't be mad at women who feel like gifts material things they don't even have to be expensive it could be a little a little cheapy thing it's it's it's a oh you thought about me while you were out and you thought I would like this and you bought it for me and to show me that you know you care a lot of women are like that so and more so than ever now because the attention thing you know men showing women attention that's given everywhere so it's not you know it's not as easy it's easy to come by so it's not special okay and then the service you know oh let me cook for you let me clean for you let me massage your feet it gets kind of annoying after a while you know it's like okay except the cleaning part yeah yeah I can clean all day um and my husband knows that's like what I like my husband knows that I like him to clean cook service wash dishes wash laundry if if he does that I don't have anything to say I'm good I'm like I'm happy I'm in a good mood I'm like yeah okay so service you know now some people will say well what what if you're not attracted to your spouse anymore and what if y'all are you know no longer in love or infatuated with you with each other what do y'all do basically you just become best friends you become like cool you know and that's what marriage eventually turns to anyway especially you know when you get older and you got kids and it turns into that type of relationship so if you're fantasizing about this world-win romance fantasy of being married and in love and you're in for a rude awakening y'all um and like I can look at I can look at pictures of men and be like oh and feel totally turned on and but then then I look at my husband I don't feel that anymore about him because I've seen him so many times and that feeling those feelings of infatuation are still there and they can be um you know targeted towards other people too that's why there's a lot of infidelity and marriage because when that infatuation feeling goes away with the person you married it's not gone it's just not there for them anymore so um you know that's one thing to keep in mind so you have to remember it's not about that lovey-dovey feeling and oh we're going to be together it's not about the fairy tale it's about what you can stand for how long you can stand it what type of lifestyle you want what type of partner you want do you want someone with a personality you want someone with a sense of humor do you want a provider this is why it's so important to base your decision on who to marry on more than just love because love can't do 90 percent of the things you need done in the marriage okay so i'm just gonna leave that in the air for you to think about and also you know stop watching so many fairy tales that's not how it is i wish that's how it was that's how i thought it was when i was young and i was like rude awakening when it wasn't you know i was like oh man i've been duped this is not how it is but you can make your lifestyle a fairy tale by choosing certain things certain aspects with certain people because it's your world okay i'll see you later bye