 Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem. So the topic for today is about the importance of natural birth. And I wanted to start out just talking about what is natural birth? Because I think because birth is so disturbed in the normal setting of birth in the hospital, oftentimes there are many different interventions that come into play. They don't always come into play, but a lot of times they do. And so for us to really understand what really is how Allah swt made women and how amazing the process is if it was just left alone, or even just what is really going on that we don't maybe don't even know. Like, oh, that's why that happens or something. So I wanted to talk about that, inshallah. Just to introduce myself, my name is Nidol Abdul-Mutman. I have a bachelor's degree in Islamic studies from Damascus, Syria. I am a Quran teacher. I teach Tajweed. I also am studying to be a home birth midwife. And I work as a doula currently. And I work as a midwife's assistant as part of my degree. I also am a child-worth educator. And I'm working on a curriculum for Muslim couples to learn about birth before they have kids. And like during pregnancy. So there's a book out there that I co-authored in child-worth education. And now I'm working on having my own curriculum because that curriculum was through another company. So what else do I do? Yeah, but anyways, I'm a mother of four. I live in Berkeley. And I had all my children at home. And I was born at home. So in a lot of ways, what I'm going to describe to you about the natural process of birth is what I experienced myself and what my family has experienced. So I think it's kind of unique where I'm coming from to understanding birth and being a birth worker from a space of like, of course it works. Of course it's best to be natural, of course. And so a lot of people come to it from a place of something has happened to them where they were like, well, I don't really like the way that went down because they had a baby in the hospital or they had an experience, an out-of-hospital that they didn't like. And so they're hurt by that. And they're trying to mend that. Um, if you want to, but I don't know if it makes any difference. Yeah. I just didn't want to make the sound go out to the main hall and then because they're going to have a session starting in like five minutes. The semester is so busy now, which is great. So, oh, and then so I have a sign up sheet if anyone wants to get my emails for my mailing list and cards. And I do have a few handouts here. And even though I have failed to mail out the other handouts from last week, I still plan on doing that to people who requested them. And if you guys want to come up and just get what I have here for you, they're kind of supplemental. One is a handout about nutrition because last week people were asking about nutrition. And I was like, you know what? I just should bring nutritional information. Maybe you could just bring the stack or I guess everyone can. OK. Inshallah. Yeah, this is those ones, just two. She's bringing them for you guys. So the one of them is about nutrition. And there's a few recipes there. And then the other one is about questions. There's like a lot of questions to ask if that will help people make decisions about where they want to give birth, because that's like the whole big decision, right? Where am I going to give birth? And with whom? And all of those decisions that we make that are really important. So it's helpful. Inshallah. Thank you. OK, perfect. Andallah. All right. So I don't know. I don't think I need to tell anyone that the way we live in the United States right now, for most people, it's like a really unnatural state in terms of how much women are exposed to birth and seeing other people, other women in their family give birth and seeing other women breastfeeding and seeing other women have really, really be supported after they have a baby. A lot of us are, and maybe not so much in this community, because I think we have a lot of intact cultural practices that are very healthy for women in terms of nurturing them after they have the baby and families will come together and support women at birth and stuff like that. But in the American society at large, a lot of people and also in the Muslim community, a lot of people don't have that support and don't have the, haven't seen, like a lot of young women haven't seen someone giving birth, haven't been there, and seen someone struggle with breast feeding or struggle with what it takes to recover from birth. So ideally, women grow up and they hear stories from the women around them about birth and how it was difficult or it wasn't difficult or how they, what they did and what they regretted or what they were happy about. And they get a picture of like sort of what's gonna happen and they feel courageous, right? Cause they're like, wow, all these women, even though it was tough, they're like, oh, they're pregnant again now and now they're having another baby. And they're like, okay, and they survived. So I think I'm gonna survive, you know? And there's like this feeling of like, we're all together, like we can do this, right? Even though sometimes bad things happen, right? Sometimes people lose babies or a woman is sick and different things can happen, obviously, but a general sense, a social sense of that, like breastfeeding works and birth works and all of that. So I think that's really the natural state that women are in. And I think when we don't have that, it's very, it makes things difficult because you, if you've never seen like a woman breastfeeding, then you're like, I don't even know how to do this at all. Like it's not even a picture in your head. So then when a woman gets pregnant, then she starts her road to like, her actually giving birth herself. And so her body is getting ready for that from the very beginning. And so her hormones are changing to allow a baby to grow and also to pass through her body, right? And so it's really amazing the way Allah SWT made the pelvis of a woman and the hormones that are going through her body, namely relaxin', during pregnancy, it loosens up the connections in her pelvis so that she can actually expand to let the baby out when the time comes. And it's kind of like why a lot of women feel like maybe they're not as sure-footed, they might slip or fall because their pelvis is actually not as solid. So there's here in the front, she can actually expand. And in the back, on either side of the sacrum, these joints can actually open up. So to make it easier to birth the baby, right? So that's happening during pregnancy, she's getting all loosened. She's, you know, as she gets closer to having the baby, the baby's head is getting lower and lower and she's probably feeling uncomfortable and feeling like, I wanna have this baby. So like all of that is like, even if she was afraid of birth, she's probably like, you know what, birth isn't so bad. I'd like to get this baby out. So it's like, I think that's part of what Allah is preparing her for. Like, okay, now you're ready, right? Okay, let's do this, right? And you know, and also like once you're pregnant, you're asking more questions like, oh my gosh, what does it feel like? What is this? What is that? And you're noticing more and more. And so, inshallah, getting a lot of good advice. You don't always get good advice, but inshallah, getting a lot of good advice. And there's also women, what do they do when they're almost gonna have a baby? They clean the house, right? They nest, right? They're like, okay, I gotta get the perfect, you know, they wanna get things for the baby and they wanna have this place where, and oh yeah, that box that's sitting in the corner that's like really, I've been meaning to get to it. I wanna clear that out. She wants to clear out all the space for the baby, right? And that's like natural instincts that we get. And then also she wants to clear out her way emotionally, right? We get like, you kinda like want to, you want to like clear out anything that you feel emotionally would be in your way. And so, I think that means totally different things to different people, but definitely, you're trying to figure out your emotions, you're trying to figure out like, well, who do I want at my birth? Like who would support me in the way that I want them, that I need right now? Who is benefiting my life right now and who do I need to change my relationship with in order to benefit me? Because I need to be able to raise this baby, right? And then it's really amazing as well because the baby is gonna travel through the birth canal. And so the bacteria in the birth canal actually changes to be the kind of bacteria, like the body promotes the growth of the bacteria that will be most beneficial to then seed the baby, like go, because the baby comes out and all of the her secretions are going into its nose and mouth and that's the way a lot made it, right? So those are the first, almost like, it's like the first connection they have to the outside world and those bacteria, the body promotes the growth of the bacteria that are going to be the best for the baby and that's why babies that are born vaginally have less asthma and a lot of different health things, like they're less likely to have those illnesses when they have the right bacteria, like from the very beginning, right? And so the woman is feeling, inshallah, that her body can do it, you know? Even though she's never done it before, she knows that a lot made her body to have a baby and that it might not look like everybody else's birth, but her body, it hasn't let her down yet, you know? She's like, she eats and she poops and she does all these normal natural body functions so why wouldn't birth happen normally and naturally, right? And she's grown and she's, you know, she has milk and she has all of these wonderful things that her body can do and birth is just another one of those signs of health that should happen just as naturally as everything else. And then there's the relationship with Allah that she's turning to Allah and really, you know, because right, it's scary like when you don't know what's gonna happen. Many things can happen. And in a setting where there's like, say no medical intervention, obviously, I don't even think that exists because women help women. So say there's no caesareans and no like major medical interventions, like 95% of the women are going to be fine. There's a 5% that they're gonna need some help, right? So really turning to Allah to ask for his help and knowing that he's the one who's gonna get her through this, you know? No matter what, no matter what is available to her in help, it's Allah's will that eases it and gives her really what she needs, inshallah. And then also just really listening to her body, right? So women's bodies, like they might crave certain kinds of foods or they might crave certain kind of movements and like it's wise to listen to that because our bodies are feeling what's going on. And since it knows how to give birth, it's also knows how to be nourished and all of these things. So listening to your body is a really, really important thing. And I've heard many, many birth stories now and a lot of the ones that are, you know, something bad happened the woman was always like, oh, I didn't feel like that was right. Or I was saying, I don't, you know, I need more attention or I need this or that and they weren't listening to me. So something bad happened. So it's so important to listen to other women but listen to ourselves. Like what is our body telling us right now? This, maybe this movement isn't comfortable or I want to do this movement or I want to sit differently. That's all wisdom that we need to really pay attention to. So being more intuitive, I mean, it's definitely a practice for any time of life but especially in birth, it's a very physical thing. And then so in early labor, which is like usually labor, the contractions come in the beginning, they're not going to be, usually they're not as close together, right? They're like spread apart, maybe like 15 minutes apart and lasting for like half a minute long. And so the woman is able to just be really excited and oh wow, labor and, you know, start to get ready for the harder work that's coming. And what's interesting as well is that, which you wouldn't think, based on the way birth is handled usually in the United States, but women are, as we know, animals when they want to give birth, they want to have a safe place, right? They want to have a quiet place. They want to be around people that they trust and they can really, they know that are going to be there for them in the way that they need them to be, that they know them. So a safe place, a quiet place, maybe probably a dark place, that she knows who's there and has control over who comes into the room. So what's really interesting is that like in the animal kingdom, animals that are nocturnal, they'll usually give birth in the daytime and animals that are like us, we're awake in the daytime, I don't know what the opposite of nocturnal is. We usually give birth at night, right? So where that animal part of us is saying, like I need a quiet safe place, right? And so, I mean, that's why it's so important in terms of like everything going well, like all of these things are coming together to have this event happen that needs to go well, right? And so her safety, her feeling safe is such an important part of that and an important part of that is choosing her provider who's gonna be there for her and knowing who's gonna be there. So that's kind of like why I have a whole list of questions for you guys to use and helping you choose who your provider is. So, okay. So, right, her hormones of labor have come on and a lot of, they don't even know what puts women in labor, but they're learning more about the actual, the baby actually has something to do with that. So a baby that's ready to come out then will give off certain hormones or whatever and signal that to the body. So it's not just like a mechanical thing, like, okay, I'm done, the baby's fully cooked at this hour and then it doesn't matter when I go into labor. There is a process of like your body, the baby being ready and things that maybe are not, can't show up on a ultrasound, but that there is still important development that needs to happen maybe in those last couple of weeks that would make the woman ready to have the baby. So when she goes into labor naturally, that means that everything in her body is saying that it's the right time. This means the baby is saying it's the right time. So it's really important in terms of safety to not do an induction unless it's, you know, unless there's really serious reasons for it. Induction is becoming a lot, lot more common and they, a lot of them are done out of like precaution. There's not actually a problem, but it's like so that we can avoid a problem, but it's basically a fear-based tactic, right? So inshallah, so going into labor naturally and then as labor progresses, the woman generally will feel like very, very focused and right, she's focusing on managing her pain. She left the door open, if someone could get the door, thank you. She's focusing on, so not just that she needs to focus on pain management, but there's also hormonally, she's not as able to like focus because the hormones that are in her body are making her less, I guess less using her analytical brain of like say the part of your brain that you would need to like answer a question, like what temperature do you want the room to be on exactly? Or you know, like what do you, I don't know, like really analytical questions, like right? She's just like, she's almost in her animal brain, like she's not, she's focused on her body, right? This major event that's happening. And so it's, people call it labor land or they're kind of like, they're not, they kind of lose track of time, they're very, they wanna have their eyes closed, they wanna be, they don't wanna be talked to a lot because it like almost like distracts them, it takes them out of that place where they need to be to have the baby. And you know, it's also a blessing we don't, we start to not care as much about our modesty, right? As we're in that state, which is good because you kind of have to uncover something to have a baby. So yeah, and so it becomes more serious, right? Active labor is when you're really working hard, right? The contractions are coming probably every five minutes apart or closer and you're more open and you're between, what is it, four centimeters and seven centimeters. So you're doing a lot of hard work. And then, but you're still managing, right? You're still like, hey, I can do this or this is no fun, but maybe someone enjoy it. Everyone has a different experience, right? Some women, it's not that bad. And so then transition is where those last bits of dilation usually, that's the hardest part. And that's a lot of times when women ask for pain medication because it's very intense, right? A lot of women are feeling like I can't do this anymore. I've gotten to my edge, the edge of what I can handle, which is actually, it's not gonna get any worse, so. But, and so what happens in those moments and sort of like that's the mountain of that the woman has to climb in a natural labor is to get through transition. And I think that that is like the major spiritual growth happens there because she's no longer feeling strong and oh, I can do this. She's like, I need help. I need a lot of help me through this, right? And so she can't get the baby out any other way, right? I mean, it's gonna have to come out that way. And if you're not taking pain medication, you're gonna have to deal with the pain, right? So you're really growing in that moment of saying like, okay, a law like I know that you're not giving me anything harder than I can bear. And I'm just gonna take one contraction at a time and like Bismillah, you're taking that leap of faith of like, okay, it doesn't feel like I can handle this, but I'm not dead yet. And I think I'm okay, I'm gonna trust you. I'm gonna trust you that I'm gonna make it through this. And so you make a transition spiritually and physically you're transitioning into the next stage of your labor and you, and so it's like that major growth that has to happen for you to completely let go and just be like, okay, we're gonna ride this wave and I'm gonna trust in the law that is extremely satisfying about natural birth. So, goodbye. And so after that, it's just the shortest part of labor usually, then the baby is pushed down far enough so that it will signal the body to push, right? So the cervix is in the way of the opening of the cervix is like, it's like in the way of the body pushing the baby down far enough to signal the body to push it out. So, but once that's out of the way, then the body, then the baby can push the body down, the baby, your uterus can push the baby down into your birth canal to like signal, okay, it's time to push. And so pushing usually feels really good to me because they instead of sort of feeling like, okay, I'm trying to just manage what's happening to me, they're like, okay, you can like do something with it and your efforts can actually produce tangible progress because the baby will be getting closer and closer to coming out. We mentioned something earlier about the labor pains in terms of like your body, the more that you have pain, the more that your natural coping mechanisms come in. So your body has natural endorphins, kind of like the runners high they talk about when you run so much and then like after great exertion, then your body will like produce these hormones, like feel good hormones. That happens also with women in labor. So it's not just her like sort of muscling through it, it's like her body is actually giving her aid in that. And the pain is also a benefit because you, one year it's like it gives you an extremely powerful spiritual experience once you get through it, but also it tells you something, like if it hurts doing one movement, then you're gonna say, well, oh gosh, I'm gonna like change the way I'm sitting here, I'm gonna change the movements I'm doing here, oh gosh, when I'm swaying it really helps, but when I sit down it doesn't feel good. So that's all telling you like how you need to move to get the baby out, right? Because you can't see what's going on inside of your birth canal, like where's the baby's head and where it needs to move and stuff like that, but your body's giving you those signs through the pain and through that. So it's really important to make birth safer to have the connection between the nerves in your pelvis and your brain and so that your whole body can react to what's going on. And so if we use numbing medication, we actually cut off that the pathway between to be like connected to the baby, connected to our whole body and we don't actually know like what position would be better to be in. So it doesn't make birth safer. And so pushing is kind of like this physical, it's very physical, physically exerting, so which kind of feels really good after being in labor and you're almost done. And the, what the body does, a lot of time with Alamedas have like adrenaline rush when we have pushing, cause we need that extra energy to push the baby out, right? But also we need to be alert. Like if you're about to have a baby and say like in terms of safety wise, right? You can't be like in labor land, right? You need to be like alert. Like if something were to happen, you need to be able to like react to that. So Las Funetales gives women in that moment this adrenaline. And so as the baby emerges, and it's not usually, I mean some women have babies really quickly, but usually it's a process of the babies rocking back and forth with each new trash and it comes down and then it comes back a little bit and it comes down a little further and comes back a little bit. So this rocking process is actually making it really gentle. Because the baby's head, I'll pull out my baby, right? The baby's head is made with different plates of the bones are not fused, right? It's actually a problem if the baby's head, the bones are fused and it's like a disorder, right? It's extremely rare because the baby, I mean, there's an amazing amount of head compression that babies are made to endure, right? And this is like really health giving to the baby. It's not like torture. I'm sure the baby's, I'm really fascinated as to what babies are experiencing. I don't know if it necessarily feels good to them, but it's something that is satisfying on a very deep level, right? Babies that are born through cesarean, they actually have therapies for them where they like, you know those big exercise balls, they'll like put the ball on them and like press it down on their chest to like give them some of that experience of being squeezed, like to give them like grounding, right? And so Allah swt made a baby to squeeze through. Like it's better for their lungs, it's better for like, it triggers certain hormones in their body and they actually are better at digesting once they are through that, so it's squeezing also their lungs so that they can clear mucus and things like that. And so it's like, it's the perfect way to be born. Like this is like how we're supposed to be born, right? Even though it sounds really crazy. And so the head is being compressed and so that's what these beautiful bones that are not fused yet are made for. And then the pelvis is stretching. So, you know, like a lot of people are like, oh, I don't wanna have a natural birth because then I'm gonna have like problems with incontinence or problems with what else happens. Just your pelvic floor not being intact and like loose muscles and things like that. So not to say that that doesn't happen, but it's gonna happen a lot worse if you're not having a natural birth because say like you don't, you're not able to like feel your body and move in a way that feels the best than your pelvic floor. It's basically like force. Like what is it still? The baby is coated in what you call vernex. So it has like this like white, like oily, like their body secretes this oily substance, right? And so it's what's really amazing about that is that the baby is it's like a protective coating, right? So, you know, like you're pushing a baby out. So there's gonna be poop coming out before the baby comes out possibly from your digestive system because the baby is so big, it's gonna just push everything out of its way, right? So that's natural too, but a lot counteracted that with this beautiful vernex that one, it makes the baby slippery and come out easier but also it protects it from any of those bacteria or whatever that it might come in contact with in this process, right? So, Subhanallah. And as it comes to the birth canal, right? It's getting all of those, the friendly bacteria from its mother and then I like this word, the fetal expulsion reflex. Those last pushes that the mother does it's actually stronger pushes than the other ones. It's called the fetal ejection reflex. So that's really cool, expulsion or whatever, yeah. So they, it's those last pushes from the uterus are like very, very powerful and it's getting that baby out, right? And normally the way it happens is that the head will emerge first and the head will be coming down like this and then but the shoulders are sideways. So the head will be coming down and then once the head is born then it'll turn towards whichever side the shoulders are on and then it rests until the next contraction. I mean, some women just, the whole baby flies out but most women, this is what happens and then the next contraction and the baby's fine. It's just like, hey, it's still breathing, right? It has the umbilical cord attached to mom and all of that's intact. And then the next contraction and then the top shoulder usually comes out first and then the bottom shoulder and then the baby is born. Right? And then everyone's like, oh, right? And very relieved. And I think that's, I mean, I just remember when I had my kids, it was just like, alhamdulillah. Like you're just so grateful. Like you never said alhamdulillah like that. It's just like so much, it's just amazing. Like I get goosebumps every time I think about just that feeling of like the baby slipping out just like so amazing. And everyone needs to take a breath, right? Everybody needs to take a breath. The baby physically needs to take a breath, for sure. But they can, they have a minute, why? Because the umbilical cord normally is attached, right? So natural birth, they don't cut the umbilical cord right away. They're still getting their blood. So when they came out, they got so squeezed in all of their blood, like some of their blood actually is reserved in the placenta so that they can squeeze through. Like they don't have as much blood volume. So then they come out and then their blood volume is like they're getting a blood transfusion of their blood. All of the blood in the placenta is the baby's blood. So it's panela. So they're like, oh my God, I just got born, right? And the mom's like, oh my God, I just had a baby. And she's like very elated and not necessarily ready to connect to the baby right at that moment, right? Because she's been through a lot. She needs to just be like, okay, I'm alive. Oh, I did it. Oh my God, like I had a baby. Wow, right? And these moments are actually important for the baby too. They're not gonna freeze and die right away. They're coming from this really hot mom that's like, oh my God, they actually enjoy. It's actually healthy for them to get a moment to cool off, right? And they're busy because they're like general after that few moments of them just being born, then what their body is naturally gonna wanna do is breathe. And so the baby in utero, their lungs are expanded, but they're not expanded with air obviously. And what's in there is lung fluid, right? And where that goes, which is really, really cool, it gets absorbed into their body. So their first breaths are not necessarily breathing breaths. They're expanding their lungs, they're pushing. What they're doing is pushing, taking the air from the atmosphere and pushing those, that fluid into their body so that they then can breathe. So they're, and they're pushing it out and then they can breathe, right? So it takes, well, some babies as soon as the head comes out, they're like, wah! But other babies, they might need some time, right? So it's a process and they're still attached, they're okay. And then the mom, she's back into her, she's thinking, oh gosh, well, let me look at the baby. So then she's gonna reach for her baby, right? And she's gonna, you know, she's gonna hold her baby, right? And then the baby can get warm and the baby's moving around and the weight of the baby is on the mom's belly. So the baby, and what happens to her uterus is now there's no baby in there. So the uterus is needing to clamp down, right? So first it's clamping down and that placenta is full of all this baby's blood. So it's squeezing all this blood out and then eventually it's gonna get some really strong contractions and then that placenta, which was attached to the mother's veins were attached to it and feeding it oxygen, those veins are actually gonna get cut off because the placenta is gonna, you know, the size of the uterus that was attached to the placenta, it shrinks down. So this, it almost feels off like a sticker, but she has like raw blood vessels there that were basically cut off because the placenta left them raw. And then, but then her bleeding stops because her uterus clamps down and those blood vessels get cut off. And then she still has some bleeding after she has a baby, right? But she's okay because it's just part of the natural process of those blood vessels being closed down all the way. So our bleeding is coming actually from that sore that the placenta had left, right? And so the baby being here on the chest and she's feeling like all these emotions and the baby's moving around and that pressure is helping her uterus to clamp down and get small and expel the placenta. And the baby also gets whatever the mom gets, the baby gets. Any medication that are coming into your body at birth, right, the baby's getting them too. And so the hormones that the mother is getting is the baby's getting them too. They're getting all of the oxytocin, which is like the feel-good hormone. So they're like feeling great. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm so ready to meet my mom. Like they're like getting this really, and they get the adrenaline boost. So they're like ready to, they're like looking around, which is also important why it's nice to have lower lights because they're coming from a dark environment. So they're like, and their eyes are like, oh, they're like on adrenaline. So they, in order for them to really be able to see and not be like so shocked with the light, it's nice to have low lights. And one thing to really consider about medication is that the baby's body is not able to process things out as quickly as our bodies are. So any medication that goes into the baby, whether it's through the mother or directly, the baby is going to have a longer process of filtering that out of their system. And they're so, so, so new and so fragile in the state of being born. And their brain is like so much development is happening with every minute that the effects of things can be more exaggerated in the baby than it would be in a grown person, right? And then baby, once they feel, once they've settled down and they can breathe, some babies are ready earlier than others, but they're gonna look for the breast. They're gonna want to breastfeed. So, and part of that process is that they are going to be, they're gonna be like smelling their hands, licking their hands, they're gonna, all right, be looking for the nipple. They naturally have this back and forth kind of open mouth, kind of moving, rooting, right? And what's so miraculous is that babies actually can find the breast on their own. They have the instincts to grope for it. So if you were to sit with, because they do a step crawl, so they're gonna be, I don't know if you guys can see this, they like do something like this, but they have to have something to step onto, right? So if they're stepping on your legs and they're coming up, they're gonna like sort of, it's called step crawling and they do that and then they're licking their hands and turning around and looking. And then, and they can bob their head as well. And so they'll do that and then they'll lunge to one side or they'll lunge to the other side. Like this, this actually happens. And they'll be trying to find the breast. I mean, not all babies are gonna make it, but you know what I mean? Obviously we're human beings and we help the babies, I know. Yeah, so I mean, sometimes you need to help the baby a little bit, but a lot of times we're not patient enough. Oh, time to do that. So a lot of times we're not patient enough. Babies, they move six times slower than us. So imagine if you're like really excited, right? You're like, I wanna breastfeed and this baby is just taking forever. Like they might take an hour and a half to really bring that process together. So they can do it, but you know. So they're just, they're gonna be like, they're gonna be like move a little and they'll be like, oh, I'm tired. And then they're like, okay, I'm move a little. And you're like, you know, like we're used to like things happening quickly. So, you know, it's important to think about that when you're dealing with toddlers too. So you're like, I wanna put my shoes on. You're like, oh my God, let me just put it on for you. You know, but it's like their whole learning process, right? It takes them time and then they'll, they'll get it eventually. So I think it's a lot of slowing down that we, that will be better for us to do. So, alhamdulillah. And then the breastfeeding releases hormones from the mother also for her uterus to contract. And so that helps her bleeding to stop, right? And I don't, I don't, I've never heard of a story of a woman who went through natural childbirth and didn't feel really accomplished, right? I mean, it's like a major feeling of accomplishment, feeling of like joy, of just like being blessed, right? And so it's like, when I was writing this, I was like, well, what? It's almost like, of course, like of course that's gonna feel really good, you know? Of course it's gonna feel good, it's like a no brainer, like of course it's gonna feel a lot better to do it from your own strength and, you know, like feeling like you've accomplished that, you know? So, alhamdulillah. And then the last part of that sequence is that after about an hour and a half to two hours, the mother and the baby really wanna go to sleep. They've been through a lot and so they're very, they just like feeling very, very tired after that adrenaline rush and like everything going on. And then they, if they're left alone, they'll go to sleep for like four hours and just like get a good rest. And then usually after that, the babies every two hours at least is gonna wanna nurse. So they're like very, babies, they have two jobs. They want their job is to tell you milk to come in by nursing a lot. And also their job is to poop because like their digestive system is full of all this meconium, which is like this black tarry thing, right? And so they're getting nourishment in and the colostrum, which is the new milk is a nice laxative. So it helps them to push all that out and their digestive, and it seals their digestive system. Like the milk molecules fit into the gaps in their digestive system and seals it to get it ready for food. Obviously, if you're just breastfeeding, you're not gonna have food for, the baby's not gonna have food food for a while, but this whole process of breastfeeding is developing that digestive system that is so new and has like many holes in it, right? And so actually like cow's milk cannot fill those holes. It's not, the molecule is not the right shape. Yeah, and babies that are bottle-fed are actually more susceptible to infection and they're more sick, they are more sick. Places that are going through famine, they actually have changed their policies in terms of famine relief in these countries by they actually ban baby formula. They actually, they keep it for only special, special cases because if babies that are not nourished while it's, more babies will survive being breastfed by their under-nourished mothers than by getting bottle-fed. They will actually, like the death rates will go way, way down. So it's actually dangerous. So it's really, and even, yeah, even malnourished women can breastfeed their babies and they'll do a lot better job than to bottle-feed them. Especially in situations where the sanitation is not predictable or like clean water and all these things like that. So, does anyone have any questions about that? Why do difficulties in breastfeeding happen? That's a really, really good question because it seems like such a, it's like we have to breastfeed. Because in the past there wasn't all these products out there, right? So there's many different reasons. There can be like a tongue tie or sometimes the membrane which is the phrenulum like under the tongue or up here. Can be tight. And so the baby has a hard time sticking their tongue out far enough to get latched on. So like in those cases you can get, you can actually go to the dentist, the special dentist and they can like modify it. I mean, in the past like the midwife probably would just even cut it. It's like not that big of a deal. A lot of times it has to do with the mother's nipples. Like if she has inverted nipples or flat nipples it makes it a little harder. And, but I think even with all those problems a lot of the time it's women who are not, I guess getting like really good advice and being very determined. So you can have flat nipples and it's probably gonna hurt more because you're literally like the baby's sucking. They have a really strong suck and then like your nipple has to stretch out. So that can be painful. But if you're really determined you're gonna be like, okay, this is what I have to do to free my baby, right? So you're gonna go through that process for that first two months or whatever and it's gonna work out. Maybe the baby's frenulum is kind of tight and it does hurt more to breastfeed but like as you breastfeed that can stretch, right? So there's a process of, and I mean, I do hear women saying like, oh my gosh, the first few months of breastfeeding it was just hard and that's just, and they're just like, I mean, maybe like I think we have a lot of technology and knowledge to like make that transition easier and I totally agree we need to do that but like that's some women's experience and they still breastfeed their babies and they're fine. So yeah. And if you've never sort of like seen what it takes to breastfeed a baby in the best circumstances it is very demanding, right? It is like round the clock, at least every two hours like babies just want to nurse. Like they just like, why do you, like we put those pacifiers and they'll do like sucking on that for hours. Like they would have been wanting to nurse if that thing wasn't in their mouth, right? This is the way they interact with the world. So it's a very demanding job. And so in our society now where like women are not used to sitting down that long and focusing on something like that or just like it's even just hard to breastfeed in public, right? And try all these kinds of things and you still need to run around and you still need to like take your kids to soccer or something like that. Like, or you want to go back to work or all of these things that are like very demanding and social expectations that you're just going to like bounce up and like, oh yay, you're such a, so strong, you're right back to work. It really does a number on breastfeeding. It really does a number on breastfeeding more than even like the birth, right? So, because breastfeeding is like, it's a very long relationship and it's a very, it can be very, you know, it's very, it's very demanding. So like when you have really realistic expectations of that and you've been around breastfeeding moms and you're just like really natural about it, you're just like, oh, it's like a no brainer, like, oh yeah, I know breastfeeds like that. Like I would be around my sister and she would be, you know, like I would see the baby like play a little and then they'd breastfeed and then it wasn't like she was thinking, oh, is it two hours yet? It was just like when the baby wanted to nurse, you know, and like, and I would see like, oh, how would she like cover herself in public or out with her and then she needs a breastfeed? Like, how did she do that? And so it became like for me a extremely normal thing and it was like totally part of the process. So I think we need to, you know, like when we have that kind of realistic expectation, it really helps, yeah. So I wanted to go over sort of like the pros of in terms of our health. I know I talked about a lot about them, about like natural birth that I wanted to mention a little bit more. So women who are not on an epidural, they actually their labors go quicker. Every labor is a different length of time, but in general an epidural will slow down your labor because it inhibits the natural process, right? So the way that your body starts to have like contractions come quicker and quicker is from this pressure of this baby coming down there, right? The baby is actually triggering, triggering all these things. So if you no longer have nerve connection to that part of your body, then you're not triggering all those signals. And so your body, your labor is naturally going to slow down. And so many people, I mean it's kind of like that's what they talk about, the cascade of interventions. So a lot of times you start out with a pain medication which would then either, it would slow your labor down. So then you would need something to pick your labor back up. So then they give you pitocin in the hospital. And so when you have pitocin, then that's another, the next invention intervention. So then you're on two different pain medications and then you have to have the IV and you have to have the catheter and you have to stay in bed. So these are all different interventions that are limiting the mother's movement. And so not being mobile and not having feeling and all of these things then can make it more likely for you to have a, say a four steps delivery or have to have a physiotomy, like have to have the cut because you're not in an ideal plus string position or because, or to have a C-section if those things don't work, right? So it puts you down sort of like, as you get more interventions, the more interventions you might need to have. You know, natural birth is just safer on every level. Even the best, you know, the best case scenario C-sections are three times more likely to cause death or injury to a mother than a vaginal birth, right? So even in best case scenarios, C-sections are not safer. They're safer for a mother who would have died otherwise, absolutely, and that's what they're for. They're not safer for a woman who could have had her baby naturally. And more satisfying, definitely. Like, whoops, working so. Yeah, okay, you know, anytime we do something that's hard work, I think we all find satisfaction in it. And I've talked to women who weren't able to have a vaginal birth or weren't able to have an unmedicated birth. And they're really feeling like disappointed about that. Whatever level that is, it is disappointing, you know? And women have a shorter recovery generally with a natural birth. A caesarean section does a lot of things for making the recovery difficult. I mean, namely, like if you have a baby on your incision, that's gonna hurt. So you're trying to find comfortable positions to breastfeed that don't touch your incision. That's really tender. You're trying to maybe even just getting up to go to the bathroom is a really hard thing to do because you're in pain. So those kinds of things make breastfeeding a lot more challenging, just being a human being a lot more challenging. And so it takes a lot longer to recover and you have, you know, infection is definitely a risk. Whereas with a vaginal birth, I mean, it's much less like lead infected because like everything's going out. So a lot coming in, you know? Like you're bleeding, that's flushing things out, you know? It's like all of these natural processes are made to protect women from infection. And a lot of the death that happens through infection is because the provider is, with the vaginal exam is introducing things into that environment that the woman then gets infected from. Yeah, and that's another reason why it's really a good idea not to get your waters broken if you don't have to because you're open to infection and every vaginal exam you get, you're more and more likely to get infection. And then so if you get an infection, then you need antibiotics, right? And if you get antibiotics, then your gut bacteria dies and the baby doesn't get any of that good gut bacteria when it's coming out. So it's more likely to have asthma and isoma all of those things that come along with not having a healthy gut. How does it for the baby? We talked a lot about these things. When a baby has a natural childbirth, so if they have drugs in their system, they're a little less coordinated, right? So they might have more trouble breastfeeding because it takes that innate coordination that it normally has to be able to coordinate the whole breastfeeding ordeal. And if the baby's jittery or doesn't have as much muscle tone to get a really good suck and things like that, then it's not gonna have as easy a time. And that's also a big reason why there's a lot of difficulty with babies. Premature babies have a lot more harder time because they don't have, they're not like this big fat, robust baby that's just like, they're just gonna have this strong suck. And like when I had Hafsa, my oldest, probably shouldn't say names, whatever. She taught me how to breastfeed. It was like, she was just like, I was just like, okay. She was just like moving her head and she'd just like get it in the right place and just be like, very, she was like 41 weeks and she was almost 42 weeks. She was like 12 days over her due date. So she was ready. She was still really strong, but like say you're getting induced before your due date or like you have a premature baby, maybe like one thing is nutrition. If you're not, nutrition can have a lot to do with like having a full term baby that's very strong. So that's, you know, like people who are afraid of big babies, those big babies are really healthy and really strong. And that's really what we want, right? It's not, you know, birthing a baby is gonna be difficult whether they're a small baby or not, but that shouldn't make you want to have a baby earlier to have a smaller baby in an easier time. No matter what, you're gonna go through what is meant for you from Las Pano with Ada and whatever you give up, whatever you trade for some easier path, you're not gonna get it easy. You're just gonna get a different test because Allah wants us to meet the challenges, right? Of life, right? That's what it's all about. It's like surrendering to like the path, the harder path, right? That's the only way we're gonna get to Jannah is like to really work hard. And the harder path is always going to be easier in the long run, right? So we face the challenges first then we don't have to have like 20 billion of those little challenges, right? We learn our lesson from the first few times. We don't have to like keep learning our lesson all throughout our life, right? So I mean just life in general, not this birth, but it's, I think it's like a compressed version of that lesson in life of like how to overcome difficulties and learn. So having vaginal exams during labor or getting your water broken, not the vaginal exam so much, is the vaginal exams after you get your water broken because the water is like holding in that baby and keeping it safe from infection, right? And when you're, especially when you're not in your own home environment, there's a lot of bacteria and stuff that you're not used to, like in like a hospital environment. So if you're, so they're, I mean they're using sterile gloves and all that to minimize things, but the statistics are that 12 hours after you get, after your water is broken and 12 hours after you get a vaginal exam and your water's broken, your likelihood of getting infection just is like way goes way up. So that's why they tell you like, oh, you can't go past 12 hours. You can't go past 24 hours because in that setting with the amount of vaginal exams that they're going to do, yes, you're much more likely to have infection. And so it's just the way it is. And the baby's brain development is enhanced by natural birth and their fine motor skills and their social skills. Assembled across this when I was researching for this talk, it was really wise that you're saying of how, you know how we always tell girls, you know, you can do anything, you're strong, don't think that you're weaker than anyone else. And but then do we hear that when we're giving birth? Like, do we hear that like you're strong and you can do it? I don't, not all of us hear that, right? But I'm telling you, you're strong and you can do it. I've seen so many women that you're just like, I would be like, man, like, why isn't she giving up? Cause you're like after like a day or two and you're just like, so had a lot. Like it's just like a really boost of my faith. And you know, like I'm a person who's like, I believe in women being able to do it, but like after all that time, you're just like, wow. And those women are doing it. And they're just like so strong. And it's like subhanallah, like it's a law helps you, you know, and having people around you just saying, like just being there with you and saying, you know, you can do it. And I see how much you're working. And you know, like it's like, these women are so strong, so you can do it. Can you eat in labor? So I know you don't feel like eating subhanallah. You, when you're in heavy labor, you usually don't feel like eating. But so the reason why hospitals don't let you eat in labor, some of them, not all of them are like this. If you're on an epidural, you definitely, they don't want you eating. And the reason is because if you were to go to into a C-section, then if you were to vomit while you were under anesthesia and aspirate that, you could have breathing issues and it could lead to dust potentially or very serious complications, right? So that is serious. But it's way more likely for you to have a C-section if you're so depleted of energy that you can't push your baby out. So the statistics are for eating in labor. Even though you probably don't really feel like it, in early labor, you should really think about like getting some good food in you, right? Because you're not gonna really want to. And a lot of times women are very nauseous in labor, so they might not be keeping things down as well. But another, a really important thing for her support team is just like give her little sips in between contractions. Give her a little piece of banana or cheese or whatever it is she likes, yogurt, something easy to eat and it's not like smelling like garlic or something. You know, something really like, something that she would like, maybe she likes garlic, I don't know. Some women just, they'll eat everything throughout their labor, but usually you want people like reminding you to drink. Because then what? You don't need that IV if you're hydrated, right? And having being well hydrated and well nourished, your muscles work better, right? If you're an athlete, you're gonna be drinking electrolytes and you're gonna be doing all this stuff. You're doing a lot of big exertion and to get that uterus to work the best way, then you really do need nourishment. So it's actually, it causes a lot of problems in those hospitals that they don't let you eat. I've heard many women say like, oh gosh, and then I couldn't eat and I was so hungry and I just feel so bad for them, you know? It's like on top of everything else you have to go through and you're gonna be starved. So, and there's also a principle in Islam, I don't know if you're aware of that, we have the right to refuse medical treatment. Even if the doctor or whoever or everyone in the world is telling you that you need this medical treatment, you can say, I refuse medical treatment. In the sight of Allah, you can do that and that's okay. There was a woman that she was suffering from epilepsy in the time of the Prophet SAW. She said, I suffer from epilepsy and during fits my body is exposed. So it makes up location to a law for me. He, so the law already said and replied, if you wish, you can endure it patiently and you will be rewarded with jannah or if you wish, I shall make supplication to allow to cure you. She said, I shall endure it. Then she added, but my body is exposed. So pray to Allah that it may not happen. He, so the law already said them, then sublocated for her. This is in Bukhari Muslim. So the jurists take from that that you are allowed to refuse medication. I'm, you know, life-saving medication. The problem is that it's very hard to make those decisions. And sometimes we have choices and they don't make it seem like we have choices. So I wanna tell you that you do have choices. And you have that right in the United States as well to have time to think about it. Obviously, if you're in the hospital and they're putting, you know, if they're really, really, really concerned that this baby is gonna die or you're gonna die, they're not gonna ask you questions. But if they're sitting there asking you questions like, oh, we think it's a good idea for you to do this, that means it's not an emergency. That means you can think about it. Yeah, we're almost done. And the last topic is, which is the, I think the most important is like, how do you have a natural birth? What is the given to give you the best chances of having a natural birth? And it's pretty much proven that if you don't plan, like if you don't think deeply about that question, you probably won't have a natural birth, right? Most hospital births, and that's where most people in the United States have babies, they are not natural births. So having several, you know, like really thinking about your strategy going into it, choosing providers that are going to be supportive of natural births is super, super, super important. It's more important than your own conviction because when you're in labor, you're very vulnerable, you're not as knowledgeable as the doctors, you don't have, you know, it's not gonna be like you sitting comfortable making a decision, right? It's gonna be a very different reality in terms of like what's going on. So when you're choosing a provider, you really want someone who specializes in natural birth, right? So if their specialty is not natural birth and they don't have very good statistics, so say you're going to a midwife that 30%, 30% of her clients are, they have caesareans, right? So then that means that you have a 30% chance of having caesarean, but if you go to a midwife or a doctor that has a 10% rate of caesareans, that means you going to them has a much lower rate. So it's not about them telling you, oh, I believe in natural birth and we're gonna do everything we can. It's more about their policies and how they enact, like how they make natural birth possible for their clients. And you're not gonna know that unless you look at their statistics. So you have every right, it's not rude, it's not anything for you to be like, oh, well, how often do you know what's your caesarean rate to the hospital you're going to? Well, what's your policy on breaking women's waters or whatever? So I have a whole list of questions that will help you to make those decisions and just ideas of what to ask. So people that, so that's one thing and what are these people that help people have natural births? Definitely midwives and doctors. Some doctors are really, really good. Most doctors are more medically trained and medically minded. Most midwives are more into natural birth because their training is more geared towards that but you will have midwives that are not as good at doing natural birth. And then doulas are generally, there's different philosophies out there and you need to meet everyone. The doulas are an option and Montreuse is a midwife who will act as a doula so she'll come to a birth that's a hospital birth but she'll stay with the client in the home before they go to the hospital and she'll be able to actually check the woman's cervix to see how dilated she is to see if it's time to go to the hospital because that's one thing that's a very difficult decision to make is when to go to the hospital and it's a very important decision to make because the later you go to the hospital in your labor the more chances it is that you'll have a natural birth just because they won't need to do much. If you're coming in the door and you're like pushing they're just like gonna catch the baby, right? I mean, hopefully it's not that late that's kind of chaotic but to as close as you can get to that point it's going to make it a lot easier and I've been in like a hospital tour and I was like, the lady was like, well, you gotta come as late as possible because that's gonna be your best chance and I was like, okay, the hospital's telling me that. And getting really, really good education, childbirth education classes that are geared towards natural birth. Some of the hospital based childbirth education classes are not as maybe not as geared towards natural birth. So you gotta kind of shop around and see like what do you want. Not all of them, some of them are great. And never, never be reluctant to change providers even if it's very late in your pregnancy because you're not married to your provider. They're not your best friend that's gonna get mad at you if you decide to not be with them, right? You need them, you're paying them for a very specific purpose and if they are not the one you want to be there then you need to, then you have every right to think about changing and shouldn't feel bad if they're like, oh, why, you know? I mean, you don't even have to say why but you know, we're all polite people. So but don't let that get in the way of you getting the care that you need. And obviously eating well during pregnancy is going to be like very crucial for your health, anything in your health, right? Our health is just like based on our nutrition. The problem I asked my son said that every disease starts in the stomach, so, right? So that has to be the first and foremost thing that we do. Insha'Allah. And especially, especially for first time mothers it's so important to have a good experience and whatever you can do to facilitate that is so important because it's like once you have a really successful birth, like all your following births are gonna be so much more easier, insha'Allah. And so you shouldn't assume that it's all gonna work out and they're gonna help me. You need to really ask those hard questions. You need to really be an advocate for yourself and really, really think it really seriously. Like this is probably gonna be your hardest, longest birth. You're gonna need more help than any other births. This is gonna be a very like life changing experience for you, you need to shop around, you need to learn. All of these things are gonna help you in that experience. So it's really a crucial lifetime and so really to take that seriously, insha'Allah. Yeah, I'm a very good question and that's like a lot of, I mean like so most insurances are not going to cover all of the expense. There are some cases where you can get insurance to cover an out-of-hospital birth. If you're paying out-of-pocket, the going rate in the Bay Area is $7,000. There are many midwives that you can find that have a sliding scale. So even though home birth is cheaper than in the hospital but because you're paying out-of-pocket, a lot of times that makes it difficult for families. And then there are at least one, I know Marin, in Marin there's a birth center that takes Medi-Cal and yeah, I'm not sure who else takes Medi-Cal but I would never give up. I would keep asking around because then there's also some midwives that maybe once a year they'll do like a free birth for someone who really needs it. So or you can maybe like have a barter or something with the midwife. So payment plans, yeah, exactly. Or even like most of them you need to finish by the time your baby's born but some of them will even let you have payment plans after. So there's options, inshallah, definitely. And by far, you can definitely look in terms of hospitals you can look up caesarean rates for hospital. The lowest caesarean rate in the whole of California is at Sutter Davis Hospital. So if you're a first time mama and you're like I want the least chance that I'm gonna get caesarean, you probably need to get a hotel room in Sutter in Davis and go there. They have a 12% caesarean rate which is extremely good considering that the United States most hospitals are in the 30% and up to 70%. God almighty. Yeah, so that's what I would do. But I probably shouldn't say that. But anyways, yeah, I mean I would have a home birth but because the caesarean rate for home birth is 5%. But so she's saying Pacifica has a good, in Berkeley has a good success rate. They bill your insurance? Okay, so they can usually receive up to 50% of the fee. Yeah. Okay, yeah, they never can tell you until the insurance company actually sends the money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as far as I understand a lot of home birth midwives do have billers that they work with but it's due to the insurance company. So they're used to doing it. They give you some help potentially and so. But yeah, how about if the baby's in a breech position, what do you do? Yeah, so there's a lot of things you can do before you are full term to try to encourage the baby to turn naturally. So yeah, there's definitely different exercises you can do physically. There's the chiropractors, acupuncturists. I'm not sure what else. Modes of natural healing they do but they definitely can do things to help. If the baby will not turn in the hospital, they also will do like an external version. Try to turn it manually. Generally midwives don't do that. Maybe some of them do. I don't have much experience with that. And then there are hospitals that will do vaginal breech births for some women. So you have to ask about that. There are a couple of hospitals in this area that will do that. It's a natural, I mean, there is somewhat more risk to it but it is a, say like a variation of normal, right? It is a variation of normal breech birth before this recent time was something that they did all the time. Yeah, like they had vaginal breech births normally and practitioners were very skilled at doing them but now that they don't do them in very many locations, the practitioners actually don't know how to deal with them as well. So it becomes less safe because of the fact that they don't do it. It's less safe because of the fact that you don't have skilled practitioners dealing with the actual birth, yeah. But no, in the places that they'll do them, these are skilled practitioners that will attend to it. Yeah, yeah. There's a big question. Twins is a big question. We'll wrap it up, inshallah. O Allah, please help us and guide us to what is best for us and what is best for our families. O Allah, give us the best in this life in the next and reward us for our struggles and forgive us our sins and make us always our heart comforted by what's good and what's healthy. O Allah, please, we ask of you of the good of what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked of you and we seek refuge in you from the evil things that he ﷺ sought refuge in you from. O Allah, please, stand your peace and blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. We send him with that. O Allah, please, we seek refuge in you from the evil things that he ﷺ sought refuge in you from.