 Yep, shawlamain the god. Andrew Sho. We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. In this week's episode of Brilliant Idiots is brought to you by Squarespace. From websites and online stores, the marketing tools and analytics. Squarespace is the all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business. There are no hidden fees or price hikes in all websites to optimize for mobile. And it's so simple. Start with a design template and use drag and drop tools to make it your own. Head to squarespace.com slash idiot for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use the offer code idiot to save 10% off your first purchase. Now let's start the show. It's been too long. It has been too long. It's been too long. Yo, we need vacations too, man. We need fucking vacations, man. We need a reset. We need to feel good. We need to connect with ourselves, connect with our family. That's right. Sho said fuck that, man. That Loon episode was too much, man. I had to get the fuck out of here. Yo, y'all was talking shit about my boy, Ack. You know what I mean? I had to boycott. I had to boycott multiple episodes until there was an official apology. Had to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Had to get the fuck out of here. Absolutely Loon and Ack, though. But how was your vacation, man? It was great until I got explosive diarrhea the last six days. You know what? I saw your Instagram story, and I was watching it. I'm going to tell you something. Andrew goes, hey, man, you know, I've been having a great trip, man. But I just want y'all to know that. I just, and I just turned, and I was like, I already know where this is going. So what I heard you say, X. I was like, you about to say explosive diarrhea. I don't need to know the details. It was the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my entire life. That's the end of life. I was moaning, bro. What? What did you eat? I don't know. I don't know. Some French shit. So basically we were in Turkey. We were in this place called Bodrum, which is like the Turkish Riviera or whatever you say. But it was beautiful, beautiful place. Then we went to Istanbul. Then we went to Sant Repay. And I must eat in something in Sant Repay, because when my wife and I went to Amalfi, it started bubbling in Sant Repay and then in Amalfi it was fucking. You're the only person I've ever seen complain about public restrooms in such a serious manner. They're public restrooms. But see what y'all don't know about Andrew Shott's. Andrew Shott's was shit anywhere. Exactly, but they clearly don't do that in Europe. What, shit anywhere? No, they don't. Europe is interesting, man. Son, I love Europe. The Amiens, I'm a food guy, though. Well, then you love the food. They have the best food in the world. I didn't like it. I don't love the food in France. Europe is, they have small brains. They have little brains, you see people that. No, they do, they do. They're brilliant and they've created so much culture and they've created so much greatness and there's so much ancient history and it's the most marvelous place to go visit, all throughout Europe is just, but they have small brains. They're small brain people. I wanna go to Sant Repay, the food business. The child of a European, right? No, I know. My mom's brain was too big to live there, so they had to come over here. I'm the American, get that money. Most of the Americans that came here from Europe had brains that were too big to exist within Europe. Like, for example, the Europeans to this day, they cannot figure out how to put ice and coffee. They don't, you go, can I have an iced coffee? And their brain is too tiny. They have this tiny little Neanderthal brain and it just can't figure out that if the coffee's hot and the ice cubes are cold, by putting it in the hot thing, the ice will melt. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, come on, y'all figure out what to call a cigarette. They couldn't figure it out. We keep trying to figure out how to use it. They just, you know what I'm saying? Exactly, they don't have it. They figured out a great way to use the slur. Well, that, like, gets sucked on, let's just plan it that. Yeah, just know what I'm saying. We haven't figured it out yet. We haven't, their little brain, they just don't understand, there's certain things they just don't, like, that's why they need the metric system. Like, you know how the metric system is very simple, right? It's like just units of 10. Everything is just like, okay, okay, 100 centimeters in a meter. It's simple. Fahrenheit, too crazy for them, right? Inches and feet and yards is like, their little, tiny little European heads can't wrap themselves around. So imagine how big their dicks probably look on paper. Who's? Like, when you read it, because you're looking at this number, you know what I'm saying? Exactly. So how many, three inches? Oh, I only say my dick a centimeters. That's what I'm saying. I only say my dick a centimeters only. You know what I'm saying? How many centimeters in an inch? About three. Three. It's like two in something. But again, you're American, you're smart. You can even do that math right there. If you ask the European, the, oh, soccer blue. Aren't you about to go on a European tour? Oh, that's right. I am coming. What the fuck is wrong with you, bro? No, you're right. He's priming them for the roast. He's priming them for the roast. Come on, don't make the assault out of that. They know what it is. Thank you so much, Scotland. Amsterdam, we put it up today. First assault out, few seconds. Second assault out. I think I'm going to come to the Amsterdam one. Respect. I've never been to Amsterdam. I want to go to Amsterdam. I think I'm going to come to Amsterdam. Dublin, few tickets left, you know what I mean? But Dublin is not the United Kingdom. Did you guys know that? No. Come on, Ireland's not the United Kingdom? Y'all didn't know that. Come on, y'all, big brain Americans. Y'all supposed to know this shit. No, bro. You thought it was, right? I thought it was. You think all white people to talk like that are from the same place? Absolutely. Hey, hey, as you should, King. Why wouldn't I take that? No, no, no, no. You have to say it. As you should, King. Are you not going to tell me I'm the first person to make that mistake? No, come on, man. You're not the first person to make that mistake. Shifty, who's been putting out all our fucking videos, has been making that mistake for the last fucking month. Promoting all this goddamn shit. Yo, my penis is 24 centimeters long, yo. This guy's crazy. Hold on, hold on now. Hold on now. You told me that. He took a minute for that, man. Hold on now. Hold on now. Let me close my mouth before it ends up in it. I said 24 centimeters, reach me from there. Hold on now. Imagine that. That's confusing. Nine centimeters. If you tell a girl my penis is nine centimeters. No, that's not good. That's not good. It's a three inch dick. You can trick people with that. What do you mean? Come on. If I tell a tailor my penis is nine centimeters, how big do you think that is, Taylor? No, you don't. Before Andrew said that. No, we think centimeters are small, bro. Oh. Centimeters are small. All around. I don't know, you know. We do think centimeters are small. But I mean, if you came from a place where you were really small brains and really small dicks, you would invent a new unit of measurement to make your dick look bigger. That is the thing about Europe. Why are you measuring it? Say again? You said what? I haven't measured it in a, what did you say? Why are you still measuring it? Because it's mine. Why do you still measure your waist? I don't actually. That's what you'd love. You should. No. Everybody should. Everybody should. I was the most. I was the most, right? I'm not even mentioning it. I was just looking at the ceiling and answering questions. But first of all, everybody's questions. Thank you. But first of all, a dick versus a waist is two different things. No, it's not. Yes, it is. You have, you're married. Why do you give a fuck about how, like, you're having it? Because you are walking into a world of pain. Easy, easy. You are walking into a world of pain. You are walking into a world of pain. And you don't know it yet. You go this head first, that, and she's going to conquer you. And you'll be emotionally scarred. Because the older you get, your penis gets bigger. You'll be emotionally scarred. I'm growing into my daddy's penis. Whoa. That was awesome. Did your dad ever take a dick than you? That's awesome. Well, I thought he did growing up. But now I'm growing into it. Wow. And I saw you say that. That's fantastic with money. What do you mean? Could you hush your noise for a second and let men talk? Hey, Taylor, why can't you keep that? We're talking about men and penises. You have nothing to add here, Taylor. Your daddy's dick is always bigger than yours. Because you folded out with a small dick. Yes. Your dick rose. Yes, Taylor. And you finally stopped seeing your dad's dick before your dick is at full growth. Yes. And when you're a child and you're walking around, you're watching your dad walk around in his underwear. No, my dad never seen this. Well, yeah, because you're daughters. You're a daughter. I think when you have a daughter. That's true. No, that's real. I have a little brother though. OK, well, that's why. Your brother has seen your dad walking around in his underwear. 100%. Absolutely. I've seen my dad's shit. My dad walked around like Winnie the Pooh in his house. Man, come on, man. My dad could fill out some fruit in the looms, bro. You know what I'm saying? Woo! My food he got. What food he got? Bananas, bro. Bananas? Put big choice. Plant it. Put the plant, the Dominican. He got the Dominican. My dad got Dominican dick, bro. A big ol' plantain. Why? But as a man, when you're a young man, you looking, you like, god damn, pop, you know what I'm saying? And then when you get older, you realize like, your shit don't fill it out like that. I'm starting to fill it out like that. I hit 45, and that shit is like, OK. Bro, I might take it back to the old school, start wearing fruit in the looms. Tidy white. Do it, bro. Let the streets snow something. Let them know. Or you got to dress, you know, top up. OK, explain. Top up, what do you mean? You just dress like Winnie, bro. Oh, Winnie the Pooh? Winnie ain't have no drawers? Let that hang. Let your nuts hang. I don't have hang time. Let your nuts hang. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm a grower, not a shore. Oh, so you're small. I'm not going to say small. It's gotten bigger. If I've gotten older, it's gotten bigger, flaccid. Say again? You got nothing, dick. Dick just fucking nothing. Come on, little corny ass. That's like you. Come on. Listen, that's like Elon Musk and fucking Mark Zuckerberg. He said he don't have a dick measuring content. Like, fuck out of here. Who y'all fooling, yo? Why? Oh, because Elon's African. Oh, he got a big dick because he's from Africa. Not all y'all got big dick. I think that billion-air trash talk is literally trash, bro. Oh, yeah, they're not good at it, because nobody talks trash to them. They don't get any practice. I had a good idea, man. I think that they should hire rappers to be their representatives, right? But Rick Ross, Soulja Boy, imagine them speaking from the perspective of Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk's lies. Rick Ross gets to rap and talk like he got $250 million. Elon threw him a quick $100 million to do it. Soulja Boy gets to talk. Imagine Soulja Boy getting online doing a rant, and Soulja's worth $250 billion. It's over. So what you going to say to Soulja? That's what I'm saying. If y'all really trying to hype up the fight, you get rappers to be your representatives, let them speak from y'all perspective, just to hype the fucking fight up, pay them $100 million a piece, it bothers nobody. That's a brilliant idea. And Soulja having $100 million, he going to talk like he got $250 billion anyway. Suck my dick. Y'all ain't going to never be multi-billionaires. Woo. You know what I'm saying? You worth $100 million. Why don't you shut up and suck my dick? Woo, from the back. Wow. You know what I'm saying? Imagine the luxurious talk Rick Ross would have. If he was speaking from Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk's perspective. Oh my lord. I'm going to block all you donkeys. No, no, me. You know what I'm saying? It would be incredible. Envy us, I'm going to delete your Instagram page. You're deleting Andy's Instagram? We're being sent. That's my point. Imagine them talking from that perspective. That's how you hype up this so-called fight. By the way. That's how we got into this from our dad's dicks though. But do you think that your dick is as big as your dad's now? There you go. I'd have to put on some fruity looms. And memory probably is tricking me a little bit because we were young. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? We were young back then, you know what I mean? Yeah, things look bigger. I try to put the tidy whiteies on now. My shit, boom, drops out the side. Does it really? You know what I'm saying? I don't have to pack the pack in joint. You know what I mean? No, I don't. I don't understand. I don't know what you're saying. Because when you put it in, you're not packing it into like a North Face pocket, bro. Maybe we don't have them kind of dicks yet. Because think about it, when you put on them fruity looms and that shit look like this, certain motherfuckers might have to wind that shit up like a fucking cinnamon roll, bro. They do have to wind it. That's what I mean. That is true. That shit might have to coil it up. You have to coil it up. That's what I'm saying. That's not what it is. They just have more girth. They just have more girths. I'm speaking on many issues, yo. That is true. If I fuck niggas, I know what it's talking about. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't fuck them. You get fucked. That's right. And you don't live with a penis. No. You don't live with a penis. What you put in them? Well, I think I've got to put it in. You have very limited experience with penises. That's facts. We live with them every day. Every day. I'm just saying what you're saying, like the package, I'm saying they have just more girth. Nope. We did with shrinkage. You think your dad got more girth than you? I think my dad got more girth than me. I've said this before, but something is I do think I got my mother's dick. Do you want it to look like this? I think I might have got my mom's dick. From her side of the family, my mom don't have a dick, but the dickness on that side of the family came through me. Why are you looking at that bottle? Say what? That's why they wore skirts. Who? The Scottish. The Scottish, because the dick looked like plastic. A little flinch. Got a little like flinch. I thought that it was so big, because the Scots are known for having the hugest, fattest cocks from the land. Hell, yeah. That's why only sheep could take it. I thought we had to fuck sheep. Google average. We had to fuck sheep, because the women couldn't take it. Google average size. Women couldn't handle. No can't handle. Google average size, penises, and scotting. Hey, hey, come on now. Hey, don't do that. Listen, Google average size penises from the Cameron clan in Scotland. The Cameron clan. Let's see just rowdy, rowdy penises coming out of Scotland. Let me see what we got. Let me see how many inches. Let me see how many inches. You don't have to read that, it's in a meters, bro. Give me, give me that. Give me that. What do we got? Scotland. Come on, Scotland. You didn't type in Scotland? 6.3 to 7. Where you see that? Where you see that? For this month. Did you Google Scotland? Yeah, I did. 6.3 to 7. Listen, man, there's got to be a reason he's to call himself rowdy, rowdy piper. Was he really from Scotland? What are you going to say? You put the UK. That's what came up. So Scotland is 6.45. Oliver Gubra! Oliver Gubra! Oliver Gubra! Look how jealous you are. You're so jealous. You OK? Shut up, son. Shut up, son. Shut up, son. Don't worry about it. Oliver Gubra! It is you. Oliver Gubra! I haven't told his mouth open so long he's looking for that hit. I said Black Star, you reckon? I was just like... Son, I was going to say something but he was going Scotland. There's got to be all the sizes. Scotland. Yeah, this soft stuff. Scotland. Shit, maybe I got my dad's dick. Shit, maybe I did. I'm unpacking. Having pops penis is what we all aspire to, man. But, dude, no albuggle, bro. Listen, bro. What the fuck are you speaking in tone? I'm speaking Scottish, bro. That means forever Scotland. Come on, son. Can I not speak Scottish? Can I not speak Scottish? That's your native tone. Come on, bro. Who wins in a fight between Elon and Mark? Straight up physical fist fight. Hand-to-hand combat. Let's go. Hand-to-hand, can they have one weapon, a Scottish dick? Can each of them hold a Scottish dick and try to beat them? No, just straight hands. Just straight hands. Nah, I think Elon wins that. It's just size, bro. He's too much bigger. He is? I've never seen anyone like this before. He's on, like, six, four, two-something. Really? Yeah, Zuckerberg, like, five, eight. But Mark Zuckerberg, they probably... Both of them probably know some type of former martial arts, right? Well, Zuckerberg's doing the whole jiu-jitsu. Really? Yep. You know they're just doing this to help up their respective apps. Of course. There's no losers in this situation. Of course. Thread got over 100 million subscribers in, what, three days? It's like when rappers beat when they drop an album. They just doing the same thing. That's all it is. That's all it is. These motherfuckers know exactly what they're doing. Zuck is a cuck. Damn. Damn. That's what he was saying. Damn, bro. Oh, wow. Why'd he just say that? Why did he say Zuck is a cuck? Do you even know what a cuck is, bro? Yeah, it's when you watch your woman have sex. With somebody. Would you ever do that? You saw Adam 22? Did that? I would never do that. Did you see that? I did. I saw that over the holidays. I went down a nice rabbit hole over the holidays. Because when you're growing on vacation, you get up in the morning, you go do things. You spend your whole day with your family. If you're doing vacation, right? You're shitting every 15 minutes. Maybe. You're pissing out of your ass every 15 minutes. Maybe. You're definitely getting some bloating going on. You know what I mean? I feel like I gained 10 pounds in the beautiful island of Anguilla. But at night, I was writing, reading, and then I would just go on the internet. And just YouTube. It is the funnest shit. I see why people do it all the time. Why they watch YouTube videos? I mean, it's fun to me for other reasons. I love a lot of the videos where it's people talking about us. Oh yeah, reaction videos. Yeah. But I love it because it's just a reminder to me that motherfuckers really don't know what they be talking about. Oh, they're just making things up. Oh my God. What were they saying? Oh, types. I mean, just the craziest shit. I mean, just wild shit. It's like the speculation people have about certain things is hilarious to me. Oh, that's the dude. I didn't watch the video. I saw everybody talking about it. I didn't actually watch it. That's the dude? Yeah. Roddy Roddy Piper? That's not his name. Do you know this guy thought he had a 25-inch dick? I don't. Can you say why? Can you say why? I googled it. Say why. Say why though. He thought that that dude had a 25-inch dick. But say why? I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records if you had to think that big. But he thought that existed. I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records. Now the biggest dick on record is actually in New York. It's like... It's a show. Damn. Is that why you're moving? I just randomly read this. It's nine inches tall. 13 and a half. It's nine inches tall from 13 and a half hard. Gosh. I swear I saw that in the paper like two weeks ago. What? You said you just randomly searched this. I read, Alex. Okay. But this is what you were doing on vacation searching. Hold on. I wasn't on the internet. Can I just say this? I was on, you know, Graham Wizard, the Instagram account that I always say, best Instagram account. See! I'm not just these people. A man who claims to have the world's biggest penis. Claim. A coin. Claim. His penis measures 13 and a half inches with a wreck and has an eight inch diameter. God damn. That's half. That's half. That's two and a fucking Zen War bottles. You said, okay, what do you say, Graham Wizard? Graham Wizard Chat, word I can't say, best Instagram account. He posted that the dude had a 25 inch meat. Okay? Okay. I, in retrospect, it does seem a little ridiculous, but I thought that it maybe was around that. That's two fucking feet. Yeah. He really thought that. Yeah. That's a second or third grader, bro. Ain't no way. 25 inches. Two more, man. Second. I know we go crazy with numbers in this era, but shit. That's crazy. I guess, so when I did see his meat, because I did Google it, because I wanted to see what a 25 inch dick looked like, which I think is normal. No, for what? To see. I mean, if there's a 25 inch dick, no. Oh yeah, yeah. You don't want to see. If somebody said, yo, there's a 20. Look, you're saying if this right here was a dick. This guy. Right? You should want to go. I know. It's not even a segment. It's just conversation. It's the show. What is it? What I did not grasp. So when I saw the dick, it wasn't as big as I am at. It was obviously a very sizable penis. It was huge, but it wasn't 25. So I was a little bit let down. What I didn't grasp from the whole story, because I didn't dig deep in it. Why did she have sex with this guy? Like, what was the reason? Money. How much was it? No, they're doing it. It's on their Onlyfans. Oh, okay. Okay. Do people pay for it? You pay. It hasn't dropped just yet, but it eventually will drop. Why would you buy it now? I mean, the hype is going, kind of, right? Well, no, you want to see it happen. You want to see it. He should have dropped this with the algorithm though. You got to drop this when everybody's talking shit about you. But you got to let it build, because once, here's the thing. Once it's out, everybody's just going to go look at the screenshots or look it on Twitter, because people are going to be able to post it. Do people care that much at all? Bro, the whole internet talking about this shit. But he's nothing. He's very popular in Pointerhood. Who? Have you watched his work? Yeah. Really? Oh, you know this guy? Oh, so he's a porn star? Can I ask you an honest question? Can I ask you an honest question? Do you think you could handle the meat that he has? Yeah. It's not, like... I know what she was going to say. Am I saying it's not... No, it's a nice size, but I'm saying, like, it's not like... How y'all talking like the... That's crazy. Like, no one's that type of size. Who's talking? I ain't saying nothing about it. You're saying how you're talking about the biggest dick, whatever, like, no one's that. Like, but his is... Y'all want to see it? No. I saw it. Wait a minute. You just said, yeah, you can handle it without, like, immediately get. Because I've had... You've had dicks like that? Where does it go? You're little. Where does it go? What do you do with it? Do you wrap it around your neck so you can sleep when you're on a plane? Everyone needs to be able to talk to you. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you do with it? Why do you make it seem like it's, like, this huge? Where does it go when you... I mean, honestly, where does it go? The same place where a tampon goes. That tampon is... That's a terrible... Yeah. You're saying where does it go? I'm just saying the same place where a tampon goes. That's it. In your vagina? The pussy stretches, y'all. But does it go back ever? Yes, relax. I mean, honestly, I'm just asking. It's a good question to ask. But it's not... You know what I mean? You're taking that Trinidadian torpedo. It's bigger than his, though. That would be like, nah, I'm not doing that. Don't get like... Whoa! Don't get... This is crazy. You know what I'm talking about? You saw the debt? I'm not listening to this. You thought it was really big? I mean, yes. I feel like y'all compare it to yourself, so that's not fair. Yo, yo, yo, man is... How much dick can you fit in you? Why don't we talk about that? Why don't we see how many Timberland Boots can go in you? What's going on? Why are you talking crazy like this? You're supposed to fake. You're supposed to be like, oh, there's no way it could fit. I'm so little. There is something to that, though. Like, men can brag about having big penises, but women shouldn't really brag about how big of a penis is. You gotta be like, there's no way I could take that. But to me, like, it's a nice size dick. Like, it's a nice size dick. What could you not think? Like, it's different between nice size versus, like, it's average size. And people always say that, too. They'd be like, oh, women have babies, but the baby's coming out. Yeah, also, the pussy contracts. Like, it actually stretches. Yeah, exactly. The pussy's not a contraction when you're taking that. Is that it? You're supposed to have it, like, tighten in on it. No, but it's... When I say contraction is happening, I mean, literally, the uterus is opening, right? I mean, that's what you're telling me. You was more confident in talking about penis pushing. But there's no dilation. What are you talking about? You don't seem to know much about the on anatomy. Why would I... How? What am I saying? That's weird. Can I just ask a question? You're not saying anything. Can I just ask a question? I'm saying it stretches, though. Can I ask a question? Just one simple question. Have you ever looked at an object and thought, I can't put that in my vagina? Yeah. Okay, just making... I've had, like, I've said no to guys that it was like, no, I'm not doing that. Whoa, really? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, that one's like a nice size. Like, there's average, nice size in there. That's average? That's average? By the way, that's gotta be... No, I didn't say that. No, I didn't say he's average. I didn't say he's average. I said there's average and there's nice sizes. That's gotta be a great feeling, right? If a woman looks at you and be like, nah, bro, I can't... No, that's not... Not really. You know what I'm saying? First of all, every woman listen and start off with that. Word is both good. You start that. That's me up. Say that shit immediately. When I pull that shit out... You do this. And then when we do it... And then when we do it... Go like this, go. Act like, oh, I didn't know I could do that. You know how when you work out sometimes, you're like, I don't know if I can do a whole thing. Personal record. You know what I mean? But you guys, girls don't really want big dicks like that no more. Like, for a friend. Oh, that's... It's like bag of jeans and in now? Like... No, but I'm just saying like girls, it's much more than that. Like, they don't want to get hurt having sex and nothing like that. Did you survey other girls? Did you notice? I'm just saying us girlfriends, like we talk like they don't... Like, I have a friend now. She's like, I really want just average small dicks. Like, I don't want... She don't want that much. So, but you, you're saying you could handle that regularly or that would put you out of commission? I don't know. I'm not saying regularly. I'm just saying I've had... But you couldn't get back shots from that. No way. Yeah. I think some of y'all women got to stop being picky and take this dick that you got. They are though. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And we got to start realizing that a lot of these pornoes, these are above average men. That's not necessarily true either. That's why they're doing pornoes. Of course. That's why they're doing pornoes. Yeah. They're doing porn because they're above average. You haven't seen a porno where the guy's dick is... Are the guys in the NBA taller than normal guys? Exactly. But I'm saying there's... The average penis size in America is like six inches, y'all. No, it's probably less than that. This guy is ten inches. He's like, he's ten inches? Yes, he's ten inches. Okay. They don't look like that. I want you to Google this, Alex. Google average penis size in the world. Isn't it five inches? But that's my point. So these people that do pornoes are above average individuals. That's why they do pornoes, because anything over what? Anything over 5.5 is above average. So if you got a seven inch, eight inch... Scottie's dicks are huge, then, if you think about it. Scottie's dicks are literally over 20%. It's 25% bigger than most dicks. If you got a seven inch, eight inch penis, you can do porn. No, it's not. I want to look... Five is the average. Scottie's dicks are 6.5 inches. I want to look... Yes, but... If you got a seven, eight inch penis, you can do porn. Period. What? If you got a seven inch, eight inch penis, you can do porn. Yeah, but she just called the ten inch average. I didn't say that's average. You said he was average. No, I said there's averages and there's just good sizes. I didn't say that he was average. Nobody... But here's the thing. She's... Bro, that's another thing. Why am I... She's from Europe. She's from Europe. She's from Europe. She's from Europe. She's from Europe. She's not smaller than your penis. Why? Doesn't know how to put a fucking seat on a toilet. Doesn't know how to do ice and coffee. It doesn't look like it'll be ten inches. People don't respect numbers anymore. Yo, they don't. They don't. I'm telling you. And it's because of the internet. Because we live in an era where, like, people think a thousand is not a lot. A thousand's a lot. A thousand's a lot. A thousand's a lot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, you got a thousand subscribers. She'd be happy for those thousand subscribers, yo, because that's a lot of people. Whether you realize it or not, a thousand people at a party, you won. Seven inches of dangling? I'll give you a thousand dollars right now. Seven inches is good. That's a good size. Seven inches is a great size. She's mungus. It was girth too. No, it's nice. It might kill you. No, it's nice. Seven inches. I'm seven inches before. What size is this? I'm seven inches three, four, eight, when it's warm up. Seven inches might kill you, yo. What size is this? Seven inches is a murder stick. What size is this? Seven inches is a murder stick. Seven inches is a murder stick. I got the murder stick. I can kill one. I kill twice. When you think this is? This would be a nice size for a dick. What size is this? Okay. No more dicks. You're too horny, bruh. If y'all know, if I got tired of talking about dicks, it's time we talk I remember Trina the rapper did that back in the day in a breakfast club interview I'm like, so what's average do you treat it? She's like, I don't know 10 inches 11 inches. I'm like Stop picking up guys in Jurassic Park Dick That's in a lot of you girls are getting tricked that's not even a real dick they put in on a fake dick You girls do that you got the push-up bras for your city back CGI and porn bro, but that's all now. They put a You don't know they stuff in a little sock or something to stop it a comment make their dick bigger You getting tricked by these dudes. They don't really got all that dick You do not know that you judge without saying you jealous I'm trying to tell you all the truth. These are big dicks you fucking Damn, yo, we treating dicks the way a little treated academics, man Oh my god, man Snoop the act though to shout out act I'm gonna do acts podcast man. Oh, you are why did why it took you so long to do it? He never asked me come on He went on live rented say that he asked you many times true act I just want to say this I've been doing flagra for how long Seven six seven six or seven years. Yeah, it took me six or seven years Act to do what to get Charlemagne on the motherfucking podcast Shokes definitely asked me way more than that act by act might have asked me one time like when it first launched and I was like Yeah, cool. Let's do it. Yeah, you know, I mean, but it's got to be some follow-up and I told them two weeks ago Reach out to this person. Let's make it happen. I ain't hurt back. Boom. Her back yet. Boom. You don't say there you go I'm definitely down to do act podcast. I also just don't like to do podcast unless I'm like if you're not a old white lady He's not coming to your podcast, bro. If Judy bloom goes come down to Miami. Charlemagne be on the first come on Trials and tribulations Anybody knows me knows that's my that was my dream interview to go have a conversation with Judy Blum We're missing that for years. You know what I mean? So that's that was a bucket list moment But I'm definitely down to do act podcast. I actually look forward to it. Did you see I want to drink with act You guys some Henny. Yeah, no, I don't drink any skill, but I want to drink with act I want I want me an act to have the same conversations. We have in private that we have publicly That is the one thing I saw in the internet. That is the one narrative. I really despise I hate how people try to make an issue between me and academics You know what I mean like I think that's very very very very very wack and I don't want I Can't even believe act would even feed into that Shape of form because you like act he should of course I do yes But the thing is I think a lot of times with a media personalities and this is always been my pet peeve Just just me speaking from my og perspective. I Do not like when you're having an interview with somebody, right? Somebody's a guest on your platform if that person has an opinion about something or somebody you cannot hold Me accountable for it for their opinion. No, I have the same thing. That's what that was the situation with me and Anjali right like what happened with that with the Gucci man thing, right? Oh, yeah Gucci had an opinion about You and envy you know what I mean? I'm just interviewing Gucci. I didn't bring it up. I didn't ask about it You know what I mean? You can't hold me accountable for that even if we do have a relationship That's not right because there's been plenty of times people have gone on platform said things about me I've never looked at the person who hosts that platform and say yo, that's fucked up Like why? That's that person's opinion That's fair The way you drink water is crazy. Yeah, I can breathe underwater, but it's hard to drink But my thing with this is You you went there you did the episode with them you gave them a little smoke. He decided not to put it out I don't like stuff like that. Yeah, and just going back to what I was saying earlier If somebody comes to your platform and they have an opinion about you You know what I'm saying? I mean I have an opinion about somebody or something You as the whole should not be held liable for that. Yeah, and we we all as media personalities I keep telling y'all this over and over if you can't Take it don't this shit. It's really that simple because the same way we have opinions about Everybody people are gonna have opinions about you Bottom-line point blank page and everything trust me most of those opinions you not gonna want to hear You know what I'm saying? So you can't just always feed into it and give it give it that kind of energy and just Just to give his point of view from what I saw yeah I probably gonna talk about that when you go in this pod But I saw him complaining that you didn't give any pushback to what loon. I thought I was I Thought I was I wasn't giving it, but it wasn't directed at me either. He was talking to Andrew Why don't you talking to me? What did I have to do? I was just an innocent body. I think the conversation was rooted in you saying he could do stand-up That's what that's what I think that are him are him being talented or something like yeah, which I've always I think Is highly entertaining. Yeah, I think it was like a value Like it's just weird once again It was odd these are conversations that happen when people feed into the internet too much But that's also another one I've called act personally. Yeah, and gave and told that yo keep doing what you doing You know what I'm saying and I've also given him, you know critique when I thought he needed critique Right like it's up. It's always been that that that kind of relationship. I told that I said lose my fucking number Cuz I lost my invitation to the white party because I was defending him bro. What white party this guy's stupid My invitation to the white party No women at that party bro I'm not even joking when I say this and I fuck a microphone Michael's a good guy when you meet him, you know charming dude cool But man, he really has a chokehold on on a certain segment of black culture From the athletes to the artists to everything got it bro. He got it. How did that happen? I don't know But you know, it's it's it's funny. We're talking to we're talking to You know what Taylor Taylor might be right. I'm gonna tell you something Man, I and I'm more than like let me ask you a real question. Okay, real question. I mentioned this on flagrant, but okay, here's a real question He's a billionaire, right? He's worth 11 billion our Jewish billionaires the only white people Did actively try to hang out with non-white people Jewish we give Jewish people all this shit Jewish people they run the industry Jewish people do this Jewish people do that But Michael Rubin is throwing a party Partying with black people hanging with black people whatever these white billionaires you see the Hilton's The the these people these legacy old white billionaires when you see them partying with black Was he that's a different party with my great point great point. They don't want nothing to do. No, I will say this We don't know how it was back then So back then they might have been here. I saw a great gas behind. You know blacks back Back then they might have been hanging out with the Sammy Davis juniors of the world, you know what I mean They might have been hanging out with the the Jim Browns vote Chamberlain's. I don't know who ever you know I'm talking about them now right now. I'm talking about. Oh, there's war and buffer that he's old But by way Warren Jay-Z had Warren throwing up the rock sign They were on the front of falls together. No, he was like, please leave me alone Baby, grab your purse, but we got to get out of here and Bill Gates came to your show. I think a lot of these Yeah, but you're still you're he's tapped in the culture. You still got to be tapped into us I'll put it like it. How many billionaires you see go to comedy shows? mine So I'm saying Think about all these how many specials we've seen When do you see when do you see the multi-billionaires not just multi-billionaires the richest in the world the richest in the world? That's what I'm saying. I think I tapped in the culture. It's different. I want to I do want to say We do have we do have to give me we got to give me a lot of props and I hope Michael Rubin and I'm sure he is it's just like turning me gone to like, you know other ways Diverse gathering bro out out to this Jewish brother. I don't think any of this happens without me. I Think me was Michael Rubin's introduction to culture. You know and one reason I absolutely do know that I remember we interviewed Michael Rubin one time on breakfast club and Michael Rubin said he didn't even realize what was going on as far as like With the with the criminal justice system in prison reform He was like when he saw that injustice that was happening with me his eyes were Open I listen all I'm trying to say fire event very cool super diverse You know I mean and not my type of vibe though It's where you see white people rich white motherfuckers trying to party with less rich white people Usually they go out to fucking these billionaires go out to ask men have a little private fucking event Or they go out to a Jackson Hole a little tiny private event There's no diversity and they do these private events and they still hire the rappers to come I think these people love rappers performing for the real real money motherfuckers. Yes, they are They perform for their kids bar mitzvah exactly. I knew it before for their kids. It's not their shit It depends if you're Michael Rubin's age Michael ain't that also bar mitzvah Jewish. There you go perfect again I'm saying where these where the Hilton's I think the hilton's too old of an example Always the young tech guys That's new money. That's new money. It's not the same. Oh, that's as far as Jesus Christ, bro All that talk of ten-inch dick's got you loose Son, I did sound a little loose-lipped. I was a little loose-lipped I've been I've been having so much diarrhea my butt hole stretch. This motherfucker is going crazy What's going? What's that? He's like, I don't give a fucking farting in real time. I am. I am. I don't care, bro How old is Michael Rubin, y'all? Come on, bro Michael but he is he is a nice guy. He's like he's genuinely a nice guy 50 50. That's young. He's oldest hip hop He came up in this culture. Like he gets it. He understands how old you think he was Exactly, see exactly you hang out with blacks. You start to age better. That's why he's keeping him around He might be keeping him around vampire And and I will say Michael does put his money where his mouth is Michael shows up for a lot of different causes man He really really truly truly does like he's always helping and he's always listening like you know He's in these meetings with the jaysies and the meeks and whoever else and he's looking to see where He can put you know, his money. He's also looks like he's you know, giving game to them Damn Tom Tom Brady, man. God. Yeah, I'm Brady. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it dreamy You saw a time you said Man Yo, you was just scrolling you was just Right and you want you want to take a picture like Michael Rubin? No, Rubin be leading pelbic first. Oh, yeah, Rubin hugs with his dick. Oh, yeah Listen, it's something go back to Tom Brady. He's got a aura, bro. Yeah, he does like nah for real I'd be trying to think I'm like, yo, is it because he got seven Super Bowl? Whoa, whoa, is it because he's the greatest quarterback of all time? Just look at it. Just look at it. You got a aura, bro Yo, you know what aura is missing, right? Lord an L, man Come on. Come on. Come on, bro. Come on. All jokes aside, you know who else had that type of glow? Come on. Come on. You know who else had that type of glow? Who got that type of glow? I'll leave. Muhammad Ali prime, bro. Muhammad Ali is prime. Michael Jordan had that kind of glow, bro There's not too many people who have that kind of aura. I'll be honest. I don't think Michael Jordan had that type of glow Where you're just like, that's a fine ass guy. I didn't say that. You did, bro. That was just what you did, son And then you try to act like it's about Super Bowl You fuck out of here, bro. You try to act like it's about Super Bowl Oh, we got seven Super Bowl No, no, no, no Get out of here, bro I We all know what that got, damn You said Gac when you saw Tom Brady. You gave Tom Brady a Gac I didn't mean it like that, man. But you did. What I was trying to say about Brady was that's a rare sighting of a fucking go No, it wasn't It's all good to think he's handsome By the way, you don't see now that Brady's retired you see him out doing regular shit How much how often do we see Brady? Tom Brady got you started like a school girl That is impressive. Just a picture. Just imagine you at the party. I'm trying to come back imagine you at the party Imagine you was at the party One of them pelvic hugs What up tb12 What that's your line, bro Because you know why When I met Peyton, man, and I was like, oh what up, yo, you know, but it's not the even close It's not it's not close. Yeah. Yeah, it's not close Peyton and Tom would light years ahead light years apart Yeah In what way are they light years apart in what way are they light years apart? Just in what way and how handsome they are Yo, just keep it a buck You're looking at him and you want him to hold you fresh Montana that last picture That guy violated violated my eyes all night. What does that mean go to the last picture? You violated my eyes all night What is jack harlow? That's crazy. That's crazy. That picture with your lmb to create. Oh my god. What is that? Yo, what the fuck? That's just says ruben on his underwear. Yo I just noticed that Yo, michael ruben got the hose. Is that real? Yo, is that real? Yeah, yeah God damn, bro Yeah, michael got michael ruben got a chokehold on this shit Like I ain't seeing somebody have a chokehold on this shit in a long time. Y'all motherfucking starting to love michael ruben the way y'all love jay-z Wow That's what it's starting to look like. Yo, it's starting to look like that. Yo, that is insane Oh, salute to michael ruben. Yeah, whatever you doing keep doing it, bro What else we got taylor? Yo, I keep seeing I didn't see this headline said just now What the fuck is this a video a kodak black when he was a kid auditioning for nicolodi and play it now People act like this was the anyway. You've seen this before? Yeah, I've never seen this audition with nicolodi and cuz you know a new show coming up in it Just just stay tuned. I'ma be on the I know how to act Yeah audition with nicolodi and cuz you know a new show coming up Nicolodi missed out people like people go. Oh, this is proof that kodak is just playing a character and it's like What he was a child Yeah, that's pretty consistent. Yeah, he was a child That's a kodak. That is kodak black. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. That's how kodak acts now Why do you think he's playing a character because he's a kid who wanted to be on nicolodian Huh, you still talking about other shit clearly Put up a picture of tom brady. He'll stop talking You put up some fine-ass pussy and motherfucker want to steamroll right through the conversation I'm just saying clearly kodak was a person who always wanted to be in the industry Oh, exactly. He always knew he's a star. He's a star. He knew he always knew he had a star quality He always knew he had star power. He wanted to be on nicolodian as a kid All right guys We'll take break for a second because I gotta tell you about the hardest bits in the business No, not the ones at usher's concert, but they will be once we have that all boys What is that? Um, all boys boys night out at us. We're night out. No ladies. No ladies. No ladies usher We're coming for you. 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Let's get back to the show I think the gatekeeper thing is very interesting And the reason I think the gate the gatekeeper thing is very interesting is because that's another thing I noticed when I was all over the internet. They called me a gatekeeper Oh And they say they say everything I do is gatekeeping, but I'm like You can't be a gatekeeper when there's no more gates You're actually why are you gatekeeping who who you gatekeeper exactly like you put so many people on You're at but that's they that's their point. They're like I let the gates yo Y'all y'all gonna if you want to look at who's gatekeeping look at the people who nobody that's Coming up from them is successful But that's my that's gatekeeping all gatekeepers so-called gatekeepers are idiots because you're standing at a gate, right? So imagine imagine this this is the gate If you're really trying to secure your place, where should the gate go? In front of you in front and then where else behind you behind you on the side all around you You're standing at a gate that just has the front gate So if I want to creep in through the side I come in through the side if I want to come in through the back I can come in through the back if I want to fucking skydive in I could skydive in there's no Gates anymore. Yeah, all you have now is a bunch of people. Okay, Alex. I'll just give a little pushback. I think um There is positive and negative gatekeepers I think just a gatekeeper just means like hey you have a lot of power influence And you have the ability to put people in positions where they can possibly flourish or fail I don't think that's gatekeeping. I just think that's going in assists But I mean not everybody is able to grow in assistant Gatekeeping would mean that you stop people from succeeding. Yeah, I I don't think I I think there are people who are gatekeeping Yes, like we can all think of people who are incredibly powerful incredibly successful and just Nobody that's like on their team. Nobody that's like with them Tends to flourish They're always kind of there, but you never see them come up and succeed and you see very little to no effort in With all their power in helping them succeed Maybe even behind the scenes effort in squashing their success, right? Those people are the gatekeepers. Yeah, you Are some I'm proof. You're someone who's like, yo Go flourish kill it. I want to help you. I want to promote you I want to give you the opportunity. I want to give you eyeballs I want to put you on and you've done it with so many different people Jesus and marrow like we can list 30 Joe Rogan another one who you can list 30 people 50 people who have all made a million dollars because you put them on That I would you can never call you that ever Yeah, I don't even look I don't even look at it is but there are those people out there No, but I don't even look at it as putting nobody on I just like what you said earlier is true You can't stop somebody from succeeding like there's certain people that are just forces of nature If it's if it's God's will You know if they keep pushing they're going to make it So you can either assist that person, you know what I mean or not assist that person Either way you're gonna have to deal with that individual But that's the thing. So if you choose not to assist when you have the ability to assist That's not gatekeeper. No, but that's what people are labeling as gatekeepers. Yeah, that's because if they see you throwing an assist And you're like, wait, why am I not getting that assist being thrown at me? Oh, yeah, you know, it's not your job to put on everybody. It's your job to put on the people that you admire Yeah, maybe there's just not one gate There's not there's multiple gates, but it's it's not your job to put on everybody It's your job to put on the people that you admire you love and you believe in that I believe is Is someone who's been doing a great job and that's the exact thing as gatekeeper Is like i'm choosing to put on these people and not choosing to put on these people No, no, it is no It's like i'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it is like it's more so like a draft. I would think This is who I choose the draft because this is who I would choose to That's not good. I don't think that's no but to charles point is like the gate that charles holding you from is not A real thing if charles was the head executive at hbo And he was signing the scripted shows and decided to put on these people that person is literally a gatekeeper That's his job There's a gate and who can be have have a scripted show at hbo and he decides who has it Yeah, charles is in a position where he can put people on but there's no gate It's not like it's like you cannot be black and famous unless charlemagne says exactly Yeah, but the hbo exact is hbo is not the only channel So that person is just being a gatekeeper at hbo, but charles, but that's what i'm saying But charlemagne is a gatekeeper at a black effect I know i'm that i'm the actually hold on he's a gatekeeper at black but just being on black effect Doesn't mean that you're gonna pop that's right. Some people pop on it Yeah, that's what i'm saying like you give somebody an assist whether they succeed or fail is not on you But just people complain that why am I not getting the assist? I think that's what people are complaining probably because they're misusing the terms. Yeah, I know They really are but the only place in the industry I see the gatekeeping alex is talking about or maybe the gatekeeper We're all talking about that because this is exactly what you said in tv and film Yep tv and film is the still is there's a limited amount slots and that's right amount of budget to go around That's right. That's right. And it's uh, you have a bunch of culturally coolest people still in that industry Who are not looking at creative in no way shape or form only thing they're Trying to figure out how to do is to keep the goddamn lights on and everything is by the book and they really Trust me There's networks right now that are telling you We're only working with these three people So if you want to do something you need to hook up with one of these three people You know what I mean, whether it's a head writer or a showrunner whoever it is It's usually the showrunner. Yeah, but most networks especially nowadays are only fucking with Three and four showrunners and if you want to get something made you want to get something done You got to connect with one of those showrunners that's Top level gatekeeping if you ask and those people are getting paid to gatekeep that is their job To be a gatekeeper. I just feel like the word is being misused to charlin There are probably people that are upset that they're not getting the same shine That others are from charlin, but that's not his fault Okay, um Not saying that you do this, but you have the power to do this iHeart radio is probably the biggest radio company in america You have the power to not get someone hired at iHeart No, I'm not gonna say that. Come on charlin. I mean it's like come on charlin It's a reference right like if somebody if somebody comes to me and says Hey, what do you think of such and such based off my experience with them work experience or what I've seen them do I can make a reference or I'll be like, oh, I saw them do such and said I don't know if that would be a good look You know what I mean? I don't think that's gatekeeper answer charlemagne. Yes. Yes. So that's what I'm saying So that would be an example of a gatekeeper because references matter if I could push back Does he have that power? Yes Would Whether or not he would use that power is a different thing. Yes, and that's why I started with saying I don't think he does that I'm just saying that is a form because you have the ability to do that So that's why somebody can give him that label because he has the ability to stop somebody from but references matter in any business Yo, of course, you know, I'm saying that's why you should treat people kind And you should always be the person that when you finish any job They should be like, oh, he was a pleasure to work with her. She was a pleasure to work with because references matter Yep, you know what I mean? So if you get a bad reference that might keep you from getting to position That don't mean that person is gatekeeper. No, but not everybody has the ability to stop someone from entering an entire industry You can stop somebody from being hired. That's not true. That's not true That you can that's just that I heard they can go they can go work for a radio But what does this have to do with it can go work for me? I'm just saying the I'm just trying to give the reason why people would consider other there's other radio companies They could work for but the none are as big as I also also In order for it to be on charlotte's radar Getting your first job at I heart is not going to come on his desk in the morning somebody working at the I heart In fucking Idaho and wants to do the afternoon drive No one's gonna make charlotte. Is it okay if we hire this guy exactly like it would have to be exactly a Huge person that was already so famous for it to even come on charlotte's desk where they'd be like hey I know you've been beefing with this person. We're thinking them giving them a show. How would you feel about that? True. Yeah, so the only people he could gatekeep are people that are Almost already at his level. They're already in the gate You know I'm saying they're already if you're even being considered to have a show that is close to him You've already made a career for yourself in the industry. I think both of y'all say y'all both are saying things that are true I think what we're ultimately saying is When it comes to gatekeeping There's so many gates, bro. Yeah, you know what I mean? And by the way, you don't even have to go through the gate nowadays Like I said, you can go through the back You can go through the side If this gate don't open for you just go to the next place And by the way, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and you're building up You know your your your your catalog and you're working on your craft and you're curating your craft and you're curating your skill set Eventually one one of these motherfuckers gonna be like hey, man, please come over here. Yeah, please I need you I need you over here. I would say drew is probably one of the biggest examples of that All the nose you was getting that first and then you just major we were in here laughing at him You went around to get We were being here laughing at andrew when he would tell us the plight of the white man in hollywood There was a for a minute. There was a plight They're not hiring straight white man I remember when andrew said that to me with the utmost sincerity and emotion and I laughed because they was making me gay all the time Bro, look at you Why why would they make me gay? Don't talk about this enough Andrew clearly a straight white male clearly Everybody always wants to talk about what they do the black men put them in dresses Make them play gay roles. How many gay roles you play in andrew all of them Yo, son, it was gay or crackhead. I was gay or a crackhead Yo, we don't talk about that enough If I played any of the roles you played You think they think i'm illuminati now, bro the johnny karstens shit, bro You had your fucking pants around your ankles and who knows what was happening Hands on your knees, ass in the air, some thot shit It won't work What are you talking about it won't work What are you talking about bro come on stop man. You can know you can't say that stuff without me clapping my feet Oh man, let's face it Things people would do for roles, bro Listen, man. You clear that up. That's crazy. Things people would do for roles, bro. You know what I mean? That's not crazy. You see what they try to they try to masculine the white man, bro Do you know what I mean? They try to put the black man in dresses, but they they just make us gay They just make us gay. At least it's a joke for y'all. We all you're taking dick Do you know what I mean? That was an episode on girl friends Is there ever a role you wouldn't do because you're like, yo, this is a little bit Can I ask y'all a question? Real quick real quick Can I ask you a question? You know in forest gump, bro, would you would you play bubba? Yeah, I'd be bubba. You would? Yeah What bubba do wrong? Isn't that a little it's a period piece though black people wasn't like that at a time in history What are we talking about so so there was a time in history where a guy ran all around the goddamn world Yes, and helped every far as gum literally was a It's like science fiction almost Like every day with so many unique characters about that shit, bro far as gum come on. We talk about little brain people I mean he he was Far as gum was inventing shit, you know what I mean just by accident, but you would play that role right now bubble like aakash for example aakash for example, he doesn't do he won't go after like Roles where the indian stereotypes are too crazy. I don't think it like paints them poorly I don't think bubble gum was stereotypical though other than like the you might say the lips You're gonna stick your bottom Yeah, come on the the lip. He's slow not smart. We're slowing it far as gum No, I mean like Fried shrimp saute shrimp the movie was special olympic productions, bro Like what do we talk about like they were like far as gum was I thought that was the point of the movie But there are people fighting for that role Like I don't know That's a little bit like oh man, I'm That's the one that comes on the desk and you go, all right, tom hanks is in this shit Maybe I'll do it but to be like now I need to be the shrimp Hey, listen, if you're if you're if you're a if you're a hollywood guy And you read this script. I don't see how you would not want to be a part of this Straight up If you're a black dude ain't there a little part you'd be like, I don't know if I like the way that black people are being Now it's on a five right here Because I know there there are people who like I as a black man I can't wear a dress in a movie because they're trying to emasculate the black man And that's the whole point of it, but you know what I mean like if you also look at that role and be like Are they trying to make black people look like we're dumb and we only know about the fact that the lead role is the same type of character Far as gum is the same kind of character. He's slow He's Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So you it's like they found. Yeah Spirits. I really thought that that so so could as a black man. Could you wear a dress? Could you wear a dress as a black man if the white man in the movies also wearing a dress? I'll take I'll take it a step further I don't even know when that became a thing because growing up in the 90s All of those guys wore dresses and dressed like women martin lorns jamey And they were just funny like shenane was just funny Wanda was just funny. Yeah, like all that. She was just funny the the men on film when david allen grand damon wade used to play the gay god That she was just funny. I got never even looked and thought oh, they're emasculating black men I never ever thought that ever and then he come along comes tyla parry Who really blows all of that whole narrative out the water because he's the owner He's the owner. He's doing his thing and he's making millions and millions. He's doing he's choosing to play this Character. Why can't I play a it's almost like whoever said that probably like went out for one of those roles Put the lipstick on the dress and everything and they didn't get it And then what are you about it, right? I can I can guarantee it is way If it was so easy to make it in hollywood and all you had to do is put on a dress In some lipstick If you know how many these have what i'm saying like come on man And like yo, we we we clown A tyla parry when nobody ever said that about robin. Williams. God bless the dead. Mrs. Douthfire was one of the most phenomenal roles Scottish ever Imagine tucking that That's why he had to win a long dress Miss Douthfire was Scottish put some respect and miss Douthfire was fire I'll be good for all, bro Come on, yo, come on Let's pay some bills man. Today's episode of brilliant idiots is brought to you by bird dogs Okay, bird dogs, man. You got on bird dog shorts right now Damn, right? They're the only shorts that actually fit because the material scratches around you You know what I mean? It looks like nice khaki shorts, but they function like your best pair of gym shorts You know what I mean? That's why you got the thighs out. Thank you know what I mean bird dogs are comfortable, right? The most comfortable bro. I'm telling you you need some bird dogs wrapped around you You need some bird dogs wrapped around your I like comfortable shorts. I like my shorts that Fit like that that is the perfect pair of shorts a pair of shorts that are actually shorts But got the same functionality as gym shorts. I want y'all to go to bird dogs.com slash idiots And inter promo code idiots for a free tumbler with your order That's bird dogs.com slash idiots in promo code idiots for a free tumbler and get you some bird dog shorts, man And we always got to salute square space. Thank you square space, man For always sponsoring the brilliant idiots square space is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business Online stand out with a beautiful website engages your audience to sell anything your products content you create and even Your time square space makes it easy for creators to monetize their content and expertise In a way that fits their brand remember areas you can unlock a new revenue screen for your business and free of time In your schedule by selling access to gated content like videos online courses or newsletters Create pro level videos effortlessly the square space video studio app helps you make and share engaging videos to tell your story Grow your audiences and drive sales stand out in any inbox with square space email campaigns Collect email subscribers and convert them into loyal customers start with an email template and customize it by applying your brand Ingredients like site colors and logo built in analytics measure the impact of every sin Use those analytics and insights to grow your business learn where your site visits and sales are coming from and analyze Which channels are most effective improve your website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords the most popular products and content Head to square space dot com slash idiot for a free trial And when you're ready to launch use offer code idiot to save 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain That square space dot com slash idiot would offer code idiot for 10 percent off your first purchase Let's get back to the show show it you got some church announcements. Yes. What you got what you got Yes tour announcement, man, um Thank you so much, bro UP brains out in europe fucking sold out the tour man. It was unbelievable. No, we do still have They're gonna throw peas at you when you get there. Yeah, don't don't give them no ideas, bro Uh, we do know we do still have a few tickets left for uh the Dublin show But uh Glasgow Manchester London and Amsterdam all sold out man. Thank you guys so much, man Really means a lot. I'm stoked to bring this tour out there. It's been too too long Since we've done the dance and I'm very much looking forward to it. So, uh, that's gonna be awesome Thank you guys so much, man. Um, congrats on that. I just want to tell people, uh, Make sure you go out there and pre-order invisible generals That is the next release off my book imprint black privilege publishing by my man, Doug Melville It's the amazing true story of america's first black generals, uh, benjamin Old david senior and junior a father and son who helped integrate the american military No, man. Oh, why is it called that? What are you talking about? Who's anything about trans you said invisible genitals, right? It's an invisible generals. Oh generals. Yes, benjamin old david senior and junior A father and son who helped integrate the american military and create the famous tuskegee airman man So go out there and pre-order that right now. Thank you. And uh speaking of trans. Um, that shit sounds Oh, first of all, speaking of trans. Congrats to alex. He's engaged Let's go Trans married You are trans married Okay, whenever you get down on your knees and propose to a woman and you say will you marry me that means that you and her Have been trans married for a while. That is true. You know, I mean y'all at least been identifying as being married Facts, so now y'all are getting married. Yo, you are fucking about to be married, bro You know when you're gonna do the wedding? No, not yet. No fucking clue Don't be one of them. Yes, he's gonna be one of them. Don't be one of them I think you got to do within a year, bro Don't put pressure on me. Come on, bro. We'll figure it out. You put pressure on you by proposing Yeah, I know, but just don't add a time. I think within the year you have to do you got to get married within a year Fuck you No, you got to get married within the year and where you gonna do it Probably spain where she's from In what part of spain? Barcelona No, bro, no, no. What you mean? No I like that. I know, right? I like that. What you mean? I like that. You got to do it in new york, bro I like that. You're not even from new york. You're from far rock, bro. That is new york. What? It's new york Oh, yeah, you got to do it in Far Rock No, why is it far rock? I thought it was far rock. Far rock. Far rock is when you pass the kidney stone Yes You got to do it in new york, man. Why? Because you're from here. Oh, y'all got to meet in the middle somewhere the broncs go to me, but it's spain Go to the broncs, you know what I'm saying? At the broncs, bro. Right there. That's a good ask. Come on, man But also we should go to spain. Spain will be fun. Yeah, it'll be lit. Also. Where's the bachelor party? Tbd I mean dude the batch the batch party bachelor party say what I don't have bachelor party It's because you've been married for fucking 37 years. Yeah, I feel like I deserve one. You did it. Your life was a bachelor party You're the longest bachelor party in history I mean, it's never too late. You can have one. No, I'm cool. I'm good on that I definitely don't want that now. No, you need a nice old bachelor party Tell me a grown man bachelor party. No, like a nice dinner. I did that last week on vacation Tell us what how'd the engagement go? What'd you do? Oh, it's cool. Uh, we went to cabo and I proposed on a yacht Oh, did you ask her pops first? Hmm. Did you ask her pops first? No, what that's what I'm talking about. Good. Yes You still got to do that for real. Yes. No. No. No ask you asked your pot. You asked her. I didn't ask get the fuck out I didn't ask and it was kind of an issue It's it should be Wow, respect What huh? Well, he speaks Spanish. I just landed my dad didn't do it either. He didn't ask my mom's and it worked out Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but it's something respectable. That's respecting. You got you got you got to ask pops You could ask for the blessing I'm not asking permission because if you say That's what it is. That's what you say. Do I got your blessing to marry your daughter? This is respect. Honestly, no Oh my god Yeah, I agree. I mean he speaks Spanish. So I'll be like, ah, you know language barrier. I couldn't I just I just saw a father get mad about that shit. Yo, was it on a tv show? Somebody got mad because they didn't get they but it's it's it's not about you. It's like a stupid thing to be upset about I don't know where that tradition came from, but I get it. It's really I would I would I would do that You want your daughter's you want your daughter's you asked your wife? If your daughter's um boyfriend or whatever didn't do that you you wouldn't like him no more absolutely not Disrespectful little fuck You don't say you don't ask me. Oh, don't ask. Well, don't ask me when in 20 years Rewind this whoever just wants to marry one of my daughters. You better fucking ask me goddamn why because it's a respect thing Like yes, man I've been showed you respect. That's not the point. I showed you enough respect on the way Andrew, you're missing a point as a I might not want to let you in the gate, bro I might let you outside the gate, but now you're asking to really come in yo you want to come in come in No This is a contentious issue. I don't know my feeling is just like if whether you say yes or no I'm still gonna do it. Oh great. No, I feel bad about don't feel bad You do what you got to do it's traditional. I think in the Will you say in the black community and you blamed it on the language barrier? I mean there is one She might also do he might be saying he might be cursing her out right now You bring nigga in family. What's funny? What is N e g r a t a Nigger, right? No N e g r a t a Nigger, right No Nigger r a t a rata Negra rata. Nigger rata. Negra rata. That's all I never heard though. Negra rata. Yeah Damn Yeah, you should have asked for pops man. I will in like spain and too late. You already out. You already did it This is a time difference Even if you have a good report it's still like it is. Yeah, I've met him a few times. So yeah, we can do that Well, I'm happy for you man. Thank you. Um, don't take it to no usher concert though Bro What is the what is what are we thinking with that? First of all shout out to usher the man I think usher's a fucking menace But he is a menace. He's gonna fucking me. Yeah, he got this man literally said don't leave your girl around me True player for real. He's told y'all this over and over and over. What do you say the next line? Ask ask my nigger at Nigger at Listen, this guy usher, man First of all, let's give props for props to do Icon icon Walking memorial living Legend. Yes, whatever top tier there is of artist usher is on it. He is not a one He's not a two. He is just he's not even ranked anymore. He's usher like seriously I'm not even joking when I say that it's few people that get to that upper echelon In entertainment in music where there's just usher. Yeah that one name boom like I was just there's okra Yep, it's usher. You know what I mean? Like he's one of them. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck what y'all say amen But he's a fucking menace. You know, yeah, this man Kitched out on that stage And he goes on seeks and destroy missions. He really does. He really does He could easily say we're all my single ladies at but he don't go serenading. He don't want them No, he want the ones that's taken. Come on, man. Come on, man. Good. Come on, man Go listen to the words of superstar yo On superstar. He's saying how he's the superstar and you my groupie tonight and everything else That's exactly what the fuck he's doing. He goes out there. He sees who can fall for it Yo, swede didn't fall for it. She don't know the words. She kept her. She kept her shade She don't know the words. They don't look that motherfucking eye. Oh, it's like medusa kept goddamn, right? She kept her fucking shades She didn't fall for that shit. You see her she got her shades on and she got her eyes closed You just don't she got her eyes closed. She got her shades on. She's not looking at usher's eyes That's why she didn't fall for that shit Usher don't know why it's not working right now, but this is the reason why you know, who else fucking winnie harlow She jumped in her boyfriend. She lap. She knew she knew immediately Jumping your motherfucking boyfriend's lap keep that goddamn manace named usher ramon away, man I'm going to see usher in vegas. Oh, you got it I'm going to see you. You just got to be a part of this show. You have to everybody wants to say Oh, you know kiki and usher. They both entertainers. I'm an entertainer too. God damn me too You come over there serenading my woman. It's gonna be you gonna be serenading the both of us. God damn it Both of you know what? What is what does that mean? What are you gonna do? You want stand up? My wife's gonna grab his left hand I'ma grab his wife And he gonna be singing my boot of both of us. It goes my baby as soon as he put the mic in my wife's face This me At the clock I mean my drop-dop Hey That's right I really hope she doesn't the knees are gonna be great. You serenading the both of us both. I'ma do just like this Okay, so that's how you got to handle goddamn usher man. Really that's really you would do that. Oh, yeah And I oh, you know what? I don't like too. I don't like how they tell men To show emotions Right, they tell me the feel-off feels every all our therapists and everybody tell us to feel off feels Soon as kiki palma baby daddy shows some emotion. Everybody call him a punk It's just because it was on social media And it shouldn't have been on shows me none of it should have been on social media She didn't like that. He didn't like the outfit she was wearing. I don't even think it was about the outfit I think it was about her being so excited to see us and it was also it was in a public forum public forum And so they both publicly embarrassed each other. You know, I'm saying she publicly embarrassed him He publicly embarrassed her they he matched her energy. They None of that should have happened. Kiki is a kid, right? Does that have to do with anything you say she's a you said she has a kid. Yeah. Oh, I think she is a kid Oh, no, no, no, she has a kid. Oh, yeah, I feel like as a woman once you have a child You should be able to wear whatever you want. Yeah, I don't care about the outfit Yeah, like that would never bother me. It was like the only thing I saw that could have been an issue What I'm not even gonna say could be an issue. I just understand how the man felt It don't matter if you're usher ramion or the usher at the church. Nobody wants to see they fine-ass baby mama Lusted over another guy. Yeah going. You know what I mean? And I by the way, I'm not even gonna say this was she was lusting. It just looks lusty You know what I mean? Yeah, nobody wants to nobody wants to see that and that don't make you insecure Yeah, why aren't you there, bro? I'm at home with the baby. You can't let your wife go to usher by her. I'm at home with the baby The baby's gotta be home alone that night We taking the baby We taking the babies and by the way They probably already know each other inside like that's the problem Taylor the internet. I'm that baby daddy at home. That's what I'm thinking Like god damn usher can probably get with my baby mama You know what I'm saying usher will sing you out your panties Yo, yo, yo Taylor. Is this gonna mess things up for usher? Look at you just I don't love usher. I sure would definitely Is it gonna mess what up for usher like our boyfriends and husbands not gonna want the girl groups to go to this And that's gonna make them go even more ain't nothing stopping that shit. That's gonna make them want to go The show's too fire. That's just that fire. Yeah, this is a really good show. I'm going you seen it Taylor I just went to his shows before Yeah, and it's so fine. I've seen Taylor. I've seen usher perform twice this year and didn't even realize it Because I saw him at the roots picnic and then I saw him at uh I saw him at the living black thing for iHeart even know he only did a couple of songs But i'm going to the residency and I was going to the residency before this I'm just telling y'all how to prepare yourselves for all of y'all going to usher residency Y'all got to get in on the show too. You know what I mean? Like when he come to serendiz your girl I want the little bottle service table. You want me too? I don't know what I'm getting. No, let's go. I'm getting that one right now. Yo, should we just tell our wives to stay home and just mean you go? Now usher now you're about to be in trouble. Oh, yeah, you are. Men should start going there We want to be serenaded too. We've been fans for a long fucking time. We need to get sung too. Come over here and sing nice and slow Yo, that would be the ultimate pump. If one, if one of usher shows No women are there We gotta rock. How do we make this happen? We gotta do it. We gotta do it. A men's only show. A men's only usher show and he doesn't know it He doesn't know it. If by halfway into that fucking show ain't nobody getting serenaded We start raising hell. We start raising hell I want the same show. He's gonna just bring his dancers out though then. Nah, y'all. I want the same show Same show. If only men here bring that ass in the crowd. Sing toss. When DCs would say bring that ass here boy Sing toss. I want it and I want lovers and friends We take a request Tell me again But then you saw people were like getting on him though. Getting on who? Because you know, he he uh video tapes kiki When there's a one post of her like kind of half naked but pregnant whatever but and then This one she's taking her ass here too. Like so they were trying to make it seem like so. How do you matter usher versus I don't I don't get it. What do you mean? Who who take kiki her um her boyfriend? They're getting out uh kiki's boyfriend because he has posted her body Right, but that's her boyfriend. Yeah, I told y'all already It was just listen man, we're human beings stop saying people are insecure because they have feelings Nobody wants to see their beautiful Is that insecurity mother? Dancing all over another man. It would it be insecure of your man? If you know, it isn't no I felt like you're saying insecure doesn't have to be a negative thing though. Like it just happens I don't even know if it's insecurity just as much as it is like, yo, why are you doing this? Why are you disrespecting me in this way? You wouldn't want to see no woman grinding all over your man. No That's my point. I'm just saying though. I want to call it that not being insecure. Like it is what it is Yo, even if it isn't secure, so the fuck what exactly that's what I'm saying. Everyone's insecure. I would not be insecure I'd be insecure. Yep. I'd be very insecure if a guy is Dangerous as usher was singing to my girl It don't even have to be usher The fact is doesn't make it worse. It makes it bad. It makes the insecurity skyrocket But that could be the usher at the church. What the fuck is going on this man? Here's the thing Your girl's your girl's vagina is wet and I know that for a fact because my vagina is wet So so that's why we're so insecure the guy is an assassin. He's a menace, man Usher Raymond is a man. Did you see the video of usher on stage with niki manaj? And he put his head on her ass and he was just doing this. Oh, no. Oh my god This guy needs to be stopped This guy needs to be stopped Like google usher niki manaj, man. Hold on Salute to jamey fox too, man The internet's trying to tell me no jamey fox jamey's back I think before they try to say he's that's right. They tell me it's his clone and it's his stunt double And all that stupid internet shit people say I respect jamey fox because jamey fox didn't let nobody in his business You know what i'm saying like it's not all we don't need to know what jamey fox, but what's that jamey from We just want to know if he's okay. I think that's really what it comes down. Well, we know now We see him out and about but that was jamey I mean i've seen more videos since then I saw him on a boat. I saw him playing top golf I saw him Jump out of a car to help somebody with their bag because somebody had dropped it He gave somebody I guess somebody had dropped their bag and he picked it up And they caught up with the person and he was calling her name and gave her the bag So Yo, I think what jamey's doing right now is super dope I tell you why because we live in this art world where everybody want to make announcements and press releases And all this other fucking stupid shit. You know what I mean? I'm i'm showing y'all. I'm okay zoom in I don't know if that's jamey. Yo, that's not jamey. That's not post-to-be jamey Oh, I was gonna actually want to talk about um drake have y'all seen drake's new show yet the concert No, I haven't seen it Fantastic. Yeah, it's interesting right a promo that's coming out of it. It's just fantastic. It is the buzz like it's just And and I'm gonna say I got to preface it with this because people anytime I have an opinion about drake people think I'm hating Drake is one of the best to ever do it. We know this. He's one of the not even just best rappers He's one of the best great. He's one of the greatest musical artists of all time Full stop right because even when I gave him props in what I said about cardy people said I was Shading drake. How the fuck am I shading drake? Whatever I said drake cardy did for Female hip-hop with jazzy and drake have done. Gotcha. You know, whatever Um, but I said jay makes the artist bigger. I feel like drake made Songs bigger You know what I mean? That's about in my opinion, but then people started saying things like well Well, what about the me goes a little baby? I already knew me goes in a little baby Before drake, you know what I mean? So that's that maybe maybe he did probably introduce him to a wider audience Maybe but I think a lot of those a lot of those songs go regardless Right, you know, there's certain songs that without drake's help. They weren't going right I don't think mcconan tuesday was going without drake. You know, I mean, I don't know how big black boy jb would have gotten That song would have gotten without drake. I don't know right, you know I've just this my personal opinion But what I was gonna say about drake drake is dropping a new album I think it's called for my dogs or for all the dogs or something like that and he's saying He's going back to the old him I want to tell everybody out there Who says things like that? It's impossible You cannot go back to the old You the old you is gone You've done that already the old you is what puts you in the position to be this new you and drake also said something very interesting drake said, um He's not like these other artists Who spend three to five years? putting out Who wait three to five years to put out music right? What I think is super impressive is the fact drake has had such a long run In hip hop he's had such a long run in music that he doesn't take no breaks and people for whatever reason do not have drake fatigue You know what I mean like they still anticipate drake music they still anticipate drake projects and even though people may have mixed reactions to like You know the the club album he put out was the honestly never mind or you know Even with the 21 album people might have mixed reviews about that I like the fact that he constantly pushes himself Musically, you know, there's moments where I'll be like damn. Why don't he take a break? But then there's also moments where I'm like, well, why should he yeah, like we've never seen somebody this put out this much Content right when it comes comes to music and dominate this long only the new drake can do that It's like lebron in his 21st year. I don't want to see lebron Lebron couldn't go back to being the guy he was his fifth year six year in the league His body just won't allow him to but the fact he's been in the league 21 years Almost 40 years old and still finds ways to dominate that's interesting to me So I wouldn't I want to tell drake there's no need to go You know, we don't need the old drake. Yeah, because the old drake isn't going to be real The old drake isn't going to be authentic. The old drake is going to be who you think People want you to be interesting. Don't do that. Interesting. Like I like I like like where you are now I want to see you continue to go from where you are now and continue to go for As long as you can. Yeah, I want to see you go backwards. Yeah So and that's not just for drake. That's for anybody who people say things like We want the old such yourself. We want the old you you can you can never be that version of yourself ever Again without being fake People say that about me. I could never be the old me without being fake You know what I mean? Like nobody you can't you cannot go back to being who you Were it's over. Yeah, I get why you say that because you're only Giving the option to let down fans because my interpretation of the old drake is he's putting out the music that sounded more like so far gone But you were talking about he's going to be like that person that he used to be So it's like maybe I'm expecting music. You're expecting his like persona and one of us are going to be let down I'm just speaking strictly by music. But guess what? Here's another reason you can never go back to that time Because you defend you'll never please the fans with that because the fans can't go back to that time What were you doing with so far gone without Alex? How old were you college? College think about the think about the beauty of college. I've never went but I can only imagine I can only imagine the beauty of college the things you were doing the new experiences You were having you were coming of age And he was coming of age with you with this music that music was the soundtrack to your life then You can't even go back to your college mindset And if you are still in your college mindset something wrong, you know, I mean so drake You're not I promise you he's gonna put the music out and people gonna like it But then everybody's gonna be like, oh man, what is this shit, man? Well, why he's still rapping about this shit? Why he don't grow up? Why he don't do this don't set yourself up People are going to have an opinion about you regardless Interesting Whether you're the old drake the new drake people are going to have an opinion I would rather just I rather you continue to be grown rich super successful longest running Success that we've ever seen in the genre take me from there to where I want to be wherever you are now Take me there. I just interpreted it as I'm back to rapping Like that's how I All drake wasn't all rapping. That's right. Oh, Drake was singing When I first got introduced to Drake when Sasha Del Ballet and all in was telling me I need to be listening to so far gone Yeah, you know what I mean? He was doing the same thing. He's doing that. It was this was 2010 2009 2010 you uh mentioned that he said something about like, um, you don't understand rappers I leave three or four years by block. They're saying that was a district kendrick, right? You used to like that kendrick don't be coming out Constantly how drake does so what's the I don't have a problem when Kendrick doesn't even everybody's method is different Yeah, Kendrick takes three to five years to create Bodies of work that stand the test of time drake don't take that long You know me jay-z used to drop every year at one point. Just create faster. That's right. Create slower It is what it is. You have to respect your process. No, but I don't I don't either I'm not against either process As long as the outcome is good If you can create greatness every year and then fucking do it some people take three to five years to create greatness Yeah, are you going to the show or have you been to the show? No, I only went to one drink show I want to go once in my life because he invited me But I don't have interest Really no interest. No, his shows are great when I went this yeah when I went when I went when I went to the uh, I went to the I forgot what the tour was called. It was him in the future And I've never seen a more diverse audience ever in my life ever I'm talking about black white indian asian jewish I've never seen a more of what men women. I've never seen young old I've never seen a more diverse crowd in my life And when you go see his show you realize why having a catalog like that can get you that kind of crowd You know because people losing at the shit like just hold on i'm going home But then there's people losing it to know yourself, you know what i'm saying What you mean He does but kendry don't have the diversity of music that drake has oh, yeah Uh, let's do some askin idiots Let's do some asking idiots Oh my god, see this is going first question in asking idiots jeffrey knows If you can go back and relive an age from your preteens or tweens for 24 hours If you can go back and relive an age from your preteens or teens for 24 hours, what age none of them I have no desire to go back Zero zilch not a I am having so I am having more fun now than I ever had in my life. I don't give a fuck what y'all I saw you in a goddamn helicopter sailing on mafie coast. That was fire. All right These shots would have loved that. All right. I don't give a fuck. I am getting old. There's dope You're rich No, it really is dude get older And there's tons of ways to like party That's the one thing that I loved about getting older is that old people who got money found out how to party And there's age appropriate parties for us and they're way better. I just want to let you know and It's great because being the old person at the young club is whack. It does not feel good corny corny Corn ball, but there's corn and niggerati or whatever the fuck they say Whatever the fuck Whatever the fuck Anyway, uh, yeah, I agree Bruh, I was on vacation last week. We was in anguilla And it's always in turn because I take my whole family like everybody. Are you gonna buy a villa down there or something? That's some point. Definitely. I have to have to right There's no place on earth that I have more peace of mind than anguilla. Like it's unbelievable Like it's I don't even when I'm there. I don't even believe I am who I am Really? I have no I got when I say it's so I have no anxiety. No nothing. I guess unbelievable, but You know my in-laws come my mom comes like all our friends everybody comes right like all my White college friends everybody right and so It's interesting when the kids go to sleep Because then the adults go find things to do You know what I'm saying and then after we go out feel like there are little lounges and clubs and stuff like that And it's just like this was the adult thing when we was young Yes, this is what they were they waited for us to go to sleep and they went the grandparents and the babysitter Is supposed to go do this. Let me tell you something Throughout history the people with money tend to be older because it takes time to get money And the people with money throw the best parties because they have the money to throw the parties So the parties get more fun the older you get and they're better the older you get Yeah, I also think that when you're young and this shit is fun because ignorance is bliss You know what I'm saying? So when you don't know nothing when you don't know shit when you've never really experienced anything Everything is so exciting and you're so just happy to be there to see your frogs for spring break And I don't know what the craziest thing ever just like a shitty fucking bar in like Tijuana. Oh like yeah No, no, no, there's levels. There's levels. There's no age I would want to go back and relive for 24 hours. I actually I would you can reverse that question You know, I wouldn't mind taking a peek at the future You know what I'm saying? Let me see what 77 look like You know All right, would you rather be rich and have a little dick? This is from od3 underscore 16. Would you rather be rich and have a little dick or poor with a huge dick choose one? Can we meet in the middle? No, that's why it's a hypothetical. I'd be like No Middle class with a middle class cock. Nope. No. Are you married? Rich with a little dick wouldn't be fun, bro. Rich with a little dick Wouldn't be fun because see I can be poor with a huge dick because I can I'm a finder me a way to get some money No, you're poor. No, you just poor. No, they didn't say I can't come up. Stop trying to work yourself out Hey, just Just say the answer we already know he didn't say with a little dick. Just say the answer we No, I don't know. I wouldn't want to be rich with a little dick. Nobody's choosing poor with a big dick Nobody I can get in the porn You and still be poor you got to be poor rich with a little dick is tough No, we don't we don't have a little dick We don't have a little dicks We have little dicks on a taylor scale taylor's dick scale. Yeah, everybody has a little I'm talking about dicks like y'all make it seem like y'all's is little They do be big. You were real hard to be like, yeah, my dick's 24 inches now like All right, god damn yo, I don't like when she takes Because if we start shooting do you know, oh, yeah, that is It is fucked up. Maybe all dicks look little with nothing Next to you. Whoa. Whoa, what finish the sentence You're crazy Yo, you're crazy, but this girl's crazy. This girl's crazy What's it? I'm just saying though. Y'all are breaking the tree. You're breaking the tree. Wow I mean, I mean, I didn't have my own to pick from you breaking the treaty. Oh, you signed the treaty What's the tree? You know what I can't take you can't take shot But I'm not taking it You still see this do it. She's doing it. That's crazy. You still sending troops in your ass fucked up That's fucked up Because you love war troops in you love war Scroll down I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop for I make a huge mistake Annabelle says Would you this is a crazy question? And it's disrespectful Would you be a transgender for a full week? You know why this is disrespectful Annabelle? Because you don't know what I identify as now. Oh Oh, well, no fucking idea Oh, well that is so fucked up. You don't ask people what their gender identity is Annabelle, would you be a transgender for a full week? How do you know what I identify as? Well, well, if you are that then then yeah, you would And if you're not then you can answer the question I don't even know what that means to be a transgender for a full week. Yes, you do No, I don't What I mean, what are you now? So what would I be? I would identify as a woman for a week. Yes Been there done that To that usher show when that usher show come on you gonna see You're gonna see immediately when that usher show come look at that Okay All right next. Oh, this is a great one. Brian Cooper underscore says shoates What's the key to wiping when you have to run? Honestly, I told the boys this it was so painful. I had to Have a cold compress. I took a towel from the bathroom at the hotel I put cold water on it and then I'll just dab my ass with it just to keep my ass cold That's a real I just want to dab dab dab my ass with the bag of ranch That is crazy. Was that bad? It was bro. It's the most bad I've ever felt. You wiped the wrong. You wiped until you was wrong No, I was the bile coming out of my ass because it wasn't being absorbed by my small intestines because they were so inflamed Damn, so I was just shitting Acid is it alert booty hole pain? It's not allergic, right? It was just acid coming out of me. It was very difficult to handle Keep scrolling Taylor. Let's answer a couple more and get the fuck out of here I had diarrhea on the plane. It was so bad to be a Stewardess with a pot of coffee and poured it down the toilet to get rid of the smell You're gonna do it you're gonna do it do it man Oh, that was good Listen, that's crazy. I think people that do that on the plane should be arrested too I really do. Do you think I wanted to do it? I'm not gonna lie Did I miss the joke? I was trying to calculate who's trying to move on This is brilliant I didn't say nothing You like this fuck If you fart on the plane if you fart on the plane should be arrested Yo, you fart our shit on the plane. You should be arrested. I think that should be a better I didn't want to bro fart on the plane. Did the toilet actually flush? Bro, it was a mountain coming out of it, bro It went down filled the space down in the hole and started to Come out through the hole. There was so much to mount it up Mount up it was a clear black Andrew you ate in this is You've had diarrhea all the time you go out the country like five days worth of diarrhea. What do you eat? It has to be something you're eating every time you're I don't know So I think maybe I got a bug maybe it's me because it happened to me when I was in columbia Happening me on the same bar to every time I leave you had to melt this shit I mean I tried to flush it But also she melted away to smell and everything like that put a whole fresh pot of coffee back She tells you tell her did you like y'all I came out because it was knocking because the the pilots needed to use the bathroom And they can't go unless there was one bathroom next to where the pilots are But the pilots can't even come out of the cockpit I'm done Yo, she'll just bow to the cause the fucking Terror attack what the fuck yo. Yeah, she put a whole pot in the car in the toilet a whole pot fresh pot That's actually I don't know whether to be disgusted or impressed Which do you think will do better in the box office barbie or open harm? I don't even know but you know the great movie I saw watching on the speaking of plane rise A man from auto first of all, we all already know time. Oh shout out time is all right We know he's the goal. We know this already, right? Yeah, that movie is so fucking good, Joe. It's really good. Oh my god Oh Thought make me you cry. Yeah, I was on the plane to put my clothes on Fuck it was a daytime flight too. I'm like, man. What the fuck is happening right now? Yo, that shit was so fucking good and tom Hanks is such a good actor Damn, this is the movie been out, right? Yeah when he dies Oh god, the way he said the way he they way they find him I'm like, yo, he had to google When people die of of heart attacks And how they could possibly fall the way he was laid out. He wasn't just like laid out like he was like You you got to watch it. It's I mean, he's the greatest actor of all time. Yeah, he might be bro Might who's better than tom Hanks? No, bubba from forest guns. No, you can't fuck it. Um, no, Leo's not fucking. Yeah, Leo can't fuck with tom Hanks No, no, maybe he probably got more holes in time. But no, I want to come to act. Definitely got more holes Interest. Um, all right last question This is a great question to end with always zant says what singer would you be okay with singing to your woman easy? easy Push a T You don't think No, no, what? Huh? Eric, Eric about doing a Jill Scott. No, this is about male wise. He didn't put a gender on it. No, you can't change the question You can't fucking switch it but he said what singer let's do a male. Let's do a male Eric about do saying happy birthday to my wife. I had no problem with it. You was there. I know, but You know what they're talking about. Ricky, um Puerto Rican, Ricky, Ricky Martin, Ricky Martin. Lil Nas X Lil Nas X, Lil Nas X Okay, it's got to be a game a singer By the way, I don't mind any singer singing to my woman not me because it's not about the singer singing to your woman That's what an r&b singer is supposed to do. It's how my woman reacts That's what's going on the issue. They're gonna react. Maybe not. You might react like sweetie And just be like baby every now and then when you put the mic in your face Or you might be like when he harlow and jumping your man's lap, you know what I mean? She was so horny She tried to have sex with her man Immediately like that's that's what usher does. That's the effect that he has on you. She got so horny just from him approaching She was like, where's the dick? I need to go on I'm telling you this guy's built different usher's built different, bro What about how Beyoncé is just looking at him smiling? He don't care about that I mean, we would hope that our women wouldn't back then. Yeah, it's like But goddamn usher is a different different beast Slute to the usher usher As always if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart. You think we're intelligent You think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right But if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit You're right too. It's the brilliant idiot podcast. Thank you for listening