 Thank you. Good morning to you all. You may be seated. Thank you With that today's date and time set for sentencing in this matter I'll start with the defense defense. Did you have an opportunity to read PSI and discuss it with your client? Any challenges change your corrections that need to be made to the pre-sense investigation report? Thank you. If you put any challenges change your corrections that need to be made to the pre-sense investigation report Thank you guys. Just one. Page 6 of the evaluation of the plan. There is one misspelling of the victim's name. He's a minor. So I let probation know the correct spelling. I believe the capital will make the changes. That's page 6 of the evaluation plan throughout the report. Thank you. We will make those changes, please, Mr. Kaplan. With that any further. Thank you. MDLC any updates to the report? Thank you. With that the court understands that there are several Identified victims that may wish to speak in this case. Before we get started with that process I am going to advise the media that you are not to record in any way shape or form any of the minors faces And so the prosecutor will let me know before they are called and I will instruct the media Do not record their faces under any circumstances. Also to the entire courtroom as Including the media. Please do not use your cell phones in the courtroom. Use of your cell phones will result in your cell phone being taken. This is a formal proceeding. And so I do not want anyone using their cell phones in this proceeding Also, I understand that this is a very emotional hearing and I am aware of that and I am aware of the emotional situation and the emotions that may become apparent in this case during this hearing. There is a composure room that is outside of this courtroom. My staff can advise you where that room is. If you all need to step out at any point to regain your composure We need to make sure we protect the integrity of these proceedings. And so if you need to step out feel free to step out There is a room that you all can go into. With the people you may call the first person that wishes to make a victim impact statement. Thank you, Judge. Nicole Bosley speaking first, Judge. Thank you. Nicole is the mother of Massimo. Thank you. Good morning, ma'am. You could please state your full name for the record. Nicole Bosley. Thank you. And is there something you wish to state to the court this morning? Yes, I do. Thank you. You may proceed, ma'am. Madison Baldwin, a name that most didn't know prior to this horrific act, but now a name that everyone has come to love. A name that has brought so much joy to the world. Your honor, I know you haven't had the privilege to know her. Only of what you've heard, she is an old soul, wiser beyond her years. At only 17, she has taught me more than I could ever thank her for. Having her young myself, she made me the mother I am today. She gave me the courage to be stronger. A few key things about Madison was her laughter, contagious smile, intelligence, passion, kindness, fearless drive, and determination. She is the light when you need it most. When the world gets dark, she's the stars. That small beacon of light that is so far to see but up close burns like wildfire. At times I catch myself missing these characteristics, worried that I might forget them, but then I realize she's here. Madison lives in all of us. Her legacy remains, her kindness continues, now and forever. She will always be the heartbeat of our family. On November 30th, 2021 is a day that has forever changed my life. It burns into my body like a cigarette burn. Enough to scar, but always a constant reminder. The day I found out that my daughter's life was taken. A life that was still so young and full of life. After that day, she became a statistic, a victim, a planned act of tragedy. How could my daughter be summarized in such intrusive manner? How could these now be her associations? I would like you to know that these accusations are false. I would, I will not allow her name to be followed by the phrase Oxford shooting victim. She will be remembered by her name, a name that is loved unconditionally, one that has no hidden remark. The strong name we gave her, Madison. When I received word that the school was under attack, my daughter had already been gone for over an hour. This I didn't know while driving into a designated area pretty much on autopilot waiting for the unknown. As I paced the Myers asking where my daughter was, all I received was blank stares. As the remaining kids reunited with their families, we were left there in silence, waiting for the answer, answers that we are still waiting for. Next thing I hear, can the family of Madison Baldwin follow me? As I walked into the room, I felt this chill come across to my body, so cold that I felt it in my bones. I pleaded not to go in, but following command, the words we heard were. I don't have good news on these three children. They are deceased. The sheer blunt statement could destroy you to the core. I was completely paralyzed. I felt every scream that came from my body. I felt every breath I took was fading. My mind was in a state of dementia and then my body drops to the floor. We were literally suffocating together in disbelief. Replaying those words in my head within seconds, I thought, did I hear them right? I was definitely misinformed. The sobs came from a deep part in me, tears soaked the cold floor I laid on. I managed a few calls, but conversations I've blocked out. Leaving for the substation, I stared out the window looking for her, but replaying those words in my head. My mind and heart were literally in two different places. The rest of the night was excuse after excuse, and why I couldn't be taken to my daughter. I needed to see her. I needed to prove that the information was not meant for me. But all I was offered was a table the next day at the medical examiner's office to identify her. Getting back home felt like forever. I had to tell her 11-year-old sister at the time that her best friend was gone. Peyton's screams will forever haunt me. And when she asked me that simple question, why? As a mom, I didn't have the answer. The next morning, I was on my way to prove somebody wrong at the medical examiner's office. In my head, it wasn't going to be her. As I walked down the corridor, I entered into a room with a steel door and a small glass window. I couldn't move my feet. I couldn't get close enough to look. But when I remembered, I was there to prove somebody wrong. I looked through the glass. My screams should have shattered it. My daughter's lifeless body was laying on a cold metal gurney. I remember her hand laying out from underneath the sheet and her fingernails were blue. Blood smeared in her hair. And they made sure I saw her from a side that was more acceptable for a grieving mother. That was not my daughter. Madison was far from lifeless. As I banged on the door demanding to touch her, I lost my ability to stand. I was dragged away from her. I was not allowed to touch my own daughter. I was not allowed to hold her hand and just let her know I was there. It's a feeling that no parent should ever feel. But that's my baby. I deserved the right to be with her, but I was not allowed. Instead, I was dragged away from her screaming like a toddler, saying profanities in the most ignorant way. That is when I realized I could no longer deny it. I didn't want to admit I was wrong. I didn't want to visualize a moment without her. I didn't want to believe she was gone. But it hit me like a semi truck. I knew her dreams were no longer the future, but only dreams. Your Honor, I thank you for the dedication to this infuriating act. I admire your knowledge of the law and the stance unto listening to all. Keeping your composure and consistency throughout this sentencing. I thank you for the clear representation of your courtroom. I thank you for the countless hours that has that this has taken from you and your family's life to give the best possible judgment. I thank you for being a human being to the prosecution and advocates Karen, Mark, David and countless others. I thank you for the constant efforts to keep my daughter's legacy alive. The righteous hours, the rigorous hours that have consumed you. Your nonstop actions to make sure all facts are given appropriately. Your compassion for our family. Jen, my advocate and others. Advocates, I thank you for picking me up on some of my worst days. Days and moments that I thought my life was not valuable. Keeping me sane during every moment, even when weakness was at its worst. You all have remembered my daughter and kept her spirit alive in the most prestigious manner. Thank you for taking away from your life to get justice for her life. And lastly, thank you for doing the unthinkable, the tragic, the raw, the vulnerable and infuriating moments when I know it breaks you inside to make sure that we are slightest, the slightest bit okay to make sure we continue that we remember and that we keep fighting for justice. To the waste that took my daughter's life. That name will never come out of my mouth. That life will cease to exist to me and just like trash, it will be forgotten. So while the attention that he has been seeking for this horrendous crime, you will get no reaction from me. But again, this is the life he chose. If he really wanted to make a different outcome, he would continue to, he wouldn't continue to make the excuses he does now. The suffering will come when he least expects it. The regret will consume you as you sit alone with the only voice, only voices in your head. Guilt would eat away at your soul. This might not happen tomorrow, next year or 10 years, but it will happen. As you get older, you will realize the path you've chosen and it will haunt you. Just like the idol that you admire so much, both of you forgotten in the system. And when these emotions flood into your body, like you're bleeding out, no one will be there to save you. No one will forgive you. Your hand will no longer be held as you claim insanity. Your outburst for attention will go unnoticed. No one will love you and no one will come. As I don't wish death upon you, that would be too easy. I hope the thoughts consume you and they replay over and over in your head. The thoughts won't stop. I'm sure you heard that paraphrase before. I hope the screams keep you up at night and they cause real hallucinations. You won't be able to write it on paper for the attention that you so badly seek. Those four walls become your home suffocating and guilt. It will come, I promise you. I'm happy you decided not to be a coward that day and take your own life. I much rather you stick around to see what the life you have chosen for. What suffering really feels like and that your significance is not above anyone else. I truly fear sorry for you that you thought this would be a better life choice. So your honor, I have chosen forgiveness. We live in a world where forgiveness is not deserved but needed. Forgiveness. A word that holds so much controversy. What does it really mean? To me, forgiveness is an encouragement. It encourages me to forgive the things that are out of my control. I have chosen to forgive. I have chosen to forgive for myself. And some that might seem weak or giving in. It's my new journey with Madison because honestly that is who she was and that is what she would have done. I no longer carry that burden. It does not define me. It does not define her or it does not define our family. I forgive myself for the grief that at times felt like multiple stab wounds but managed to survive. I forgive myself for the weak moments of fear of the world around me. The time it's taken from my family and loved ones, time I will never get back. I forgive myself for not allowing joy and happiness in my life to reflect and to learn. I forgive myself for any anger that raged inside me and took out. I took out on the ones I love in hopes that this would destroy me or suffering would be unbearable. You failed. I'm so much stronger than you and your weakness consumes you. I don't choose to forgive the destructive nature that caused her death. Forgiving is a choice. I choose not to forgive you for the choice you made. This is exactly what you wanted. This is not a life that I would ever want to live. What this has done is ignited the light that I thought I lost. Madison's light. Your Honor, I hope you stamp his faith with whatever fate that might be. To continue to live the life sentence that he researched. That his life sentence is the same as my life sentence I received. As a life sentence that I cannot escape from. Day by day passes, I hope his life seems more meaningless, lost and forgotten. So when my time comes and I will never worry if our past or faiths will ever meet again. But when our true day of judgment comes, my justice will be served. That this, that his life sentence will continue so that he may live in his own personal prison for eternity. With no one waiting for him. I can only wish him the best on his new life and the repercussions that follow. Your Honor, as I close this chapter and I start a new one, I would like to make one thing clear. These actions did not break me. I am not broken. I am just rearranging the pieces. I am surviving each day, navigating this journey, celebrating the good and learning from the bad. Choosing happiness, forgiving when needed and when it's deserved. I am living. I'm living because of my baby girl, Madison. Thank you. First of all, thank you for staying with us this morning. Call the next individual that wishes to make a victory in that state. Mr. Buckmuir is Tate's father. He's speaking as well as Tate's brother. May I approach your honor? Yes. Thank you. Good morning, sir. If you could, please state your full name for the record. Good morning. My name is Buckmuir, Tate Muir's father. Thank you for being here, sir. Is there something you wish to address with the court this morning? Yes. Thank you. You may proceed, sir. So, as I kind of prepared for this, I wrote a victim impact statement earlier a couple months ago and wrote another one last night. I'm not sure if I'm going to really read this one, but I want to start first with just a little bit of the story. So, the morning of November 30th, I was working from home and my wife was working in Lycorian. And I was on a conference call and I heard some sirens in the background and really didn't think much of it. But they were not going away and they were getting louder. And I got a call from my wife and she told me about what was going on at the school. So, I got double my conference call and started making my way to the school and texted Tate a couple times, calling, no response. So then we get to Muir and I met my wife there. And, you know, as all the kids are filing into Muir, Sherri and I are both walking around looking for Tater. And I had a feeling something didn't feel right to me. And so, as people started, as kids and parents started slowly fading out of Muir, I grabbed our athletic director who was at Muir and said, where's Tate? Have you seen Tate? And he looked at me and he said, no, but he knew, he knew, but he couldn't tell me. He wasn't the one to tell me. So, as we're wandering around Muir, asking everybody if they've seen Tate, we got summoned to the manager's office at Muir and we're delivered the news that Tate wasn't with us anymore. And the thing that stands out to me was what my wife said. She put her head in her hands and said, not my baby boy. So, we walk out of the room and shock. Not really sure if what we heard was real and true. So we had to make our calls to try and tie. And I can't remember who I called, who Sherry called, but I didn't know how to say it. I don't know, I can't remember who it was, a trainer tie who I talked to. And I didn't know how to soften it. And I basically said Tate was killed. So a boy came to Muir and we left as a family to go home. And when we got home, we were just a bunch of zombies and we were kind of walking around. And believe it or not, we cooked dinner that night and had a couple visitors. And as we kind of are working our way through this process, it's been quite a journey. I can tell you that the one thing that is love is obviously absent from our family because there's no joy. When you have joy, it's easy to love. So, me and my wife are trying to figure out how to save our marriage and how to save our family. We didn't even do anything to each other. So, as we navigate these treacherous waters, we try to undertake because we know he's looking down on us. And I know he's not very proud with how his dad is handling this. But his dad's fighting. His mom's fighting and his brothers are fighting. So, I'll read a little bit of this victim impact statement here. This is kind of, you know, yesterday just came and went. Today has dealt us another hand of heartaches that we'll have to play. For the past two years, our family has been navigating our way through complete hell. Tears filled with pain, they fall like rain. We wear the pain like a heavy coat, constant reminders every day. Every hour is the darkest time of the day. I understand from journal entries, this was a desired outcome for us to feel the pain that you had. I will tell you this, we are miserable. We mistake. Our family has a permanent hole in it that can never be fixed, ever. As we fight and claw our way through this journey, we are realizing that we are completely miserable. There does not appear to be a way out. So, to this day you are winning. But today is a day where the tides change. Today we are going to take hours back. We are tired out. We are all tired out. We need to take this chip off our shoulder. We've been on this island far too long. We are the prisoner, not you. Nobody else can set us free but us. In life, sometimes what you need is exactly what you fear. We fear forgiveness for your selfish acts. So today, how hard it is. We need to find a way to start working our way to forgiveness. Forgiveness to you. Forgiveness to your parents. Forgiveness to the school. What other options do we have? Be miserable for the rest of our lives and rob our family of normalcy. Be miserable and rob Trent and Ty of our normal life filled with friends, their future wife and kids. Be miserable and rob Sherri and I. A happy life that we worked very hard for and earned. Believe me, we will never forget about you, ever. We want you to spend the rest of your life robbing yourself. What you stole from us is not replaceable. But what we won't let you steal from us is a life of normalcy. And we'll find a way to get there through forgiveness and through putting good into this world. I'm sure you've heard about our peer-to-peer mentoring program that started 42 Strong v. Tate Muir Foundation. We launched it after the tragedy. In honor of our Tater, he was an amazing kid. He loved to give. He loved to serve. Went to the same elementary school as you. You knew him, but there is good that's going to come from this. And the good is, kids are going to have a buddy. They're going to have somebody to lean on. A peer they can trust. And love and build a relationship with. Trust, love, build. Tate left the roadmap for us, all of us. He left that roadmap from the people he learned from. Mom and Dad, Trent and Ty, his teachers, his coaches, his neighbors. So if we could all make the effort, and if we take the time, maybe we could leave this much behind. I'm going to stand here by your fire, because it's cold. It's a cold one tonight. And I'll be taking care of soul fight. Thank you for your comments this morning, sir. And I've read and I've written a big impact statement saying your son had an extremely positive impact on his community. So thank you for being here, sir. Trent, we'll be speaking as well. Tate's brother. Thank you. Sir, if you wish you could stand with your son if you could please state your full name for the writer. Trent Meir. Thank you. Good morning, sir, if there is a statement that you wish to share with the court. Yes, sir. Thank you. Good morning, everybody. My name is Trent Meir. I'm the eldest brother of Tate Meir. On November 30th, my brother, a friend, a teammate, was taken from our lives far too soon. This loss is hard for me to put into words. It has affected my every decision, every thought for every single day over the last two years. I could never escape the thoughts, the loss, the grief, the what ifs. What would life be like right now? Where would Tate be going to school? What memories would we have made together? Now I just have to wonder, what would it have been like? My future kids can't meet their uncle. My parents can't watch one of their sons grow up. I won't get to have Tate as a groom's man, Tine and I can't get a captain with our brother. These are the thoughts that I have every single day. This event has put a halt on the world. My family will never be the same, but we'll have to learn how to live with it. We cry, we grieve, we don't know what to feel. Sometimes we don't want to do anything. We don't even want to get out of bed. It is always there impacting us every single day. It has affected my relationships with my family, my close friends, my girlfriend. Nobody gets what we have gone through and I hope to God no one does. I see someone that looks shady in public, I think of the 30th, I have someone behind me, I go in a public area, almost everything is a trigger to what happened to my brother and that makes me think of them. I've gone to therapy, talked to friends and family. It sometimes seems like nothing will help to make this pain go away and I know if nothing will bring my brother back because he is gone. I am asking if the shooter gets the maximum penalty. This coward took actions knowing the consequences and effects it would have on people and this community. He did not care. He took the selfish action of taking four lives away. He took four kids opportunities to grow into incredible young men and women and he should never have the opportunity to see the light. He waved his right and opportunity when he took the lives away of those four beautiful souls. I pray that justice will be served. I believe that the right ruling will be made, one that reflects the magnitude of pain and loss caused by his actions. I pray that this, that through this, my family, our community, and the other three families can find a measure of healing and closure. I know that love and community will prevail against evil. So you would sit there rotting and suffering for the rest of your life. You'll learn to find joy, happiness, and normalcy. And let Tate's legacy live on forever. Thank you. Thank you. As I told your father, you had an amazing brother, so thank you for your statements and thank you all for sharing his story with the court. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, people. You may call your next person. Morning, sir. If you could, please state your forename for the reference period last night. Good morning. My name is Craig Shilling, S-H-I-L-L-I-N-G. Thank you. Thank you for being here, sir. Is there a statement that you wish to make? Yes, your honor. But before I make my written statement, I'd like to have a candid moment with y'all to try and directly convey to you that this statement has been the hardest thing I've ever written in my life. You guys have the condensed version of 15 minutes or so, but it took me months and months and months, and I've swam through emotions trying to get this done. So thank you for letting me be here. Well, perhaps not, sir. Thank you. I will begin now on the honorable Judge Rowe. I am here before you today as a direct result of the horrible crimes that were committed back on November 30th, 2021, the day that my son was murdered. For the longest time and for reasons I did not care to mention here today, I did not know if I was going to be able to do this. You see, on that day, my life was torn apart, and for a while thereafter, I struggled with dark thoughts and found myself completely lost in the seemingly endless sea of raging emotions with no care as to what happened to me. And grief had consumed me and has squeezed out every bit of joy and happiness in my life. Still, today it's uncertain if I'll find my way back. The events that took place that day have rocked three generations of my family and has altered our future forever. These days, there's not much happiness in the holidays, birthdays, and those milestones days don't carry with them the special feeling they always used to. Life used to flow with some sort of rhythm and balance and the continuity within our family was evident. There were gatherings, vacations, and fun-filled events. But I feel most would deem your typical family situation. That continuity and all I came with it were lost on the day that my son was murdered. Like a severed electrical line, the flow was no longer there. Instead, we fallen into the darkness. Still, in shock, and total disbelief over the fact that this actually happened to us. Completely blindsided, we've been carrying on with more questions than answers and left to deal with the bell-years of emotions we've never experienced before. One convention to say that there are no words that can accurately describe the pain that we feel on a daily basis. I have PTSD and struggle most days to even get out of bed. Anxiety, stress, sleepless nights, and uncontrolled emotional outbreaks make even the simplest and most normal things difficult. Scattered thoughts, raw emotions, and that uncomfortable elephant-in-the-room feeling I get with everyone I interact with cause substantial uneasiness and affect everything I do. The things I used to find enjoyment in are no longer reliable in that respect and are done to merely have a feeling of something normal. Golfing, bowling, ball games, hunting, fishing, camping, kayaking are just a few of the activities I used to do with Justin that seemingly will never have the same effects on me based on the fact that he's not there to do them with me. I've always operated on the premise that if you get the kids into the things that you like to do that you'll have those things in common forever and will always have a way to spend some quality time together. Even if it's just for a quick nine or an hour on the board to blow out a few pockets, Father's Day forcens with my three kids I want to link with something I've been looking forward to for a long time but will never have. This unfair reality is something I will never get over. Day to day life goes on for so many but in the clutches of grief and heartache the difficulties are real and have so many side effects. It almost feels like time slows down and everything around you speeds up. It's been two years already but feels much like yesterday. I still find myself waiting out for him to get home from work so we can get a few minutes to chat as it was often the only time we'd have that chance to. It's unbearable to know that he's never going to walk through that door. Never in a million years did I think that something like this was going to happen to me. Although we all know the unfortunate real possibility that this can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime there's absolutely no way you can prepare yourself for this level of pain. It doesn't matter how much you think you've prepared or how strong you are or how big your support network is you have this level of pain and this truly debilitating and it takes you out. Having seen news reports and documentaries on tragedies of this nature I don't feel it uncommon at all to watch in horror and disbelief that something like this could actually happen and I've done what I believe many others have done and that's have thoughts of how I might feel or act of something like this ever happened to me. Well now that it has happened I can 100% assure you that the worst thoughts or feelings you may have do not hold a candle to how it actually feels. For centuries, man has exploited the fragile nature of the human being and over the years have developed many, many ways to inflict pain, torture and kill. Millions and millions of human beings have met their fates by way of such devices. As we have all learned in school there is a full spectrum of reasoning behind these perversions. Although throughout history those reasons have been widely understood the sheer brutality of census violence has never sat well with the human psyche. So we have evolved till now and in our modern society we have established laws and regulations to essentially protect ourselves from ourselves. However, as is seemingly always the case there are those for reasons we may never know who wish to defy the now widely recognized and agreed upon state of human decency and continue to commit such census acts of violence. In my opinion it takes a deeply disturbed individual to leave the compass of basic human decency. The act of taking another human being's life is not only exasperating but extremely selfish and unjust. I believe that once an individual crosses the boundaries of basic humanism and admittedly maliciously kills another person that individuals should meet the same fate. Unfortunately, based on the laws that govern our land this has been deemed impure and is widely frowned upon in modern society. So in lieu of exaluched execution I feel strongly that the individual should never be allowed to walk among his peers again. This is why I'm going to ask you to elect this son of a bridge off for the rest of his pathetic life. His blatant lack of human decency and disturbing thoughts on life in general do not in any way warrant a second chance. My son doesn't get a second chance and neither should he. This individual has proven by carrying out these heinous and completely unnecessary acts of violence that he should never be considered fit to rejoin the society that despises this exact behavior. His very name should be condemned recognized only by his cowardly, vile and malicious defiance of human law. Now with all that being said I'd like to direct my comments toward this disgusting individual I speak of. He sits across the room for me at this very moment dressed in orange emotionless. Although I'm sure he may have a half baked idea of just what I'd like to do to him I'm not quite sure he has adequately envisioned the exact nature of this idea. I'd really like an opportunity to physically show him how much pain he has caused me and my family but in a civilized society governed by complex laws such as ours this type of display is not permitted but you can rest assured a piece of shit that baby bird screams would pale in comparison to the screams that you would exude if I were only able to show you but luckily for you they won't let me so I will hope with every bit of hope I have left that with every passing thought remember you have about what you've done you remember my statement and take time to imagine it happening and recognize it in the worst way possible. I've tried to put myself in your shoes and over and over tried to imagine what could have possibly been so horrible in your life to have caused you to commit these crimes. I actually thought long and hard and can come up with no logical explanation. The fact is that what you did was reprehensible and completely unnecessary. You see we use things called words to convey our thoughts and our concerns and our opinions sometimes those words we share with or excuse me sometimes those who we share our words with don't hear them or choose to not listen but this is no reason to throw a tantrum and do the wrong thing you simply have to speak louder and to more people until you get the results you desire. Life is not easy in any sense of the word. It often feels cruel and unfair but you have obviously overlooked is the fact that life is the most precious gift each and every one of us receive and you have completely wasted yours. You said you wanted to be remembered as a person who committed the biggest shooting in Michigan history and this may be true but I'm sure it on file at this time on this day for the world to know forever that Ethan Cromley should be remembered as the biggest coward in Michigan history an individual who unfairly praise upon unsuspecting and helpless lives without the courage to meet their same fate. I truly detestable and ignominous excuse of human being. Now my last words for you before I conclude is that I truly hope I love you in properly and show you the kind of treatment you can only get on the inside as it's clearly all you've ever wanted and it's my hope that there is some kind of pain involved. I also think that as you rot away lamenting over your wasted life you should take time to ponder the fact that although you may have taken four lives the selfless gesture of organ donation by my son saved at least five lives thus over-shattering your delusions of grandeur and effectively nullifying all that you feel you've accomplished. Let's do that for a while and maybe you'll realize that as long as there are good people in the world willing to selflessly give up themselves to help others evil will never triumph. My final thoughts are directed towards everyone else. It is with every bit of my heart that I offer all who have helped my family over the course of the last couple years the sincerest thank you. The sheer magnitude of humanitarianism and goodwill that came in from all over the world has been humbling and has gone a long way to showing me there is still good out there. I strongly believe that it resides within each and every one of us and that it is our responsibility as human beings to let our goodness shine onto everyone we interact with whether we like them or not. Because the way we treat each other both directly and indirectly affects the lives of more people than you can imagine. Not to mention, it's simply easier to do. I may give you all please be kind to one another and push our energy toward walking the path of the righteous and to your part to help eliminate these types of tragedies. Thank you for listening to us this morning. I wish you all a very best. Thank you sir. I know that that wasn't easy for you so thank you for your statements this morning. They did not fall on deaf ears and I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you. People you may call the next person I wish to make a statement. Thank you. Good morning man. Could you please state your full name for the record? Yes. Please proceed with your statement this morning. Thank you. Honorable Judge Kwame Rowe first please allow me to thank you for your time and dedication to this case. I know it's been deeply disturbing and horrific. Thank you also to Karen McDonnell and the entire prosecution as well. I am asking you your honor to please sentence the shooter to life without the possibility of parole and lessen showing. Your honor it's almost impossible to find the human words to describe my grief, pain, trauma and rage the manner in which my son Justin was so cold heartily methodically executed shows clearly the pure evil and malice of the shooter for this act alone your honor he deserves life without parole no mother should have to put her child in the ground on the eve of Justin's burial I had my phone ready to call 9-1-1 as I feared that I was having a heart attack it's only by the grace of God that I am still here with us today in my letter to you your honor I have detailed the extent of my trauma as well. Justin's siblings Nathan and Clay were robbed of much of their youth their innocence their joy their beloved middle brother Justin their shared future memories impossibilities with Justin holidays weddings, birthdays as their mother I am beyond infuriated for the pain and their suffering Clay who was only 15 was hiding in the school that day as well fearing for his life and worrying about Justin's Justin's grandparents aunts, uncles, cousins all have suffered an imaginable loss as Justin was and is so very loved and cherished by his entire family Justin had such an impact on his many beloved friends teammates, co-workers of all ages and people in the community my heart breaks for their pain and trauma as well Justin was happy, humble hardworking grateful stylish, funny, smart, loving thoughtful and empathic he never complained and always made time to lift others up bringing out the best in everyone who knew and loved him he didn't deserve to die this way Justin was a lettered athlete a top honors student and lived by the golden rule do unto others as you have them do unto you he was so excited to graduate and planned on attending Oakland University we did a tour in the fall of 2021 and we talked about his plans to major in business he wanted to move out with his friends and considered getting a real estate license he was so motivated and focused his future was so bright and full of possibilities Justin would have been an amazing father children loved him and gravitated toward his big heart he was such a gentleman and so very loving towards me and all women never letting me pump my own gas or hold my own door he will always be my little sweetheart Justin spent his final moments protecting Keegan and saved six more lives with his gift of organ donation may his light and legacy live on forever now your honor I would like to share what I would like the shooter to know you may have ended Justin's life on this plane but you did not in any way affect his soul you don't have the power to do that you may have caused the pain and terror as you intended to do but you did not destroy us there is more love and light in this world because of the legacies of Justin Tate Hanna and Madison I don't focus on hating you but I also don't feel a drop of pity towards you I don't feel anything towards you you're nothing to me you don't even exist while you ride in jail we will push on and we will do so many good things in the world spreading so much love and kindness in honor of our angels you are facing the consequences of your actions here in this court of law but you also face your demons in the afterlife and there is no escaping that I pray that you serve as a deterrent and as an example for other lost souls who seek fame by taking innocent lives you didn't win you're not famous it didn't turn on as you had hoped the media will forget about you they will move on I know you're miserable and it's only going to get worse as the reality does set in but we are only going to get better more healed, more loved and more loving towards others more peaceful and more full of grace and one last thing I do want you to know if you were that lonely, that miserable that lost and you really needed a friend Justin would have been your friend if you had only asked him thank you thank you ma'am and also I'm very sorry for your loss thank you for your statements this morning and I know that it's not easy to do especially in a packed courtroom so thank you very much for being here now thank you so much thank you thank you is there going to be a minor involved thank you please tell me your name I'm Reina St. Juliana and sir what is your name for the record as well Steve St. Juliana is there a state e-worship at the court this morning oh yes I have mine and then my our mothers as well I'm St. Juliana so this is our mom's statement Hanna was the best version of me we were similar in the things that we liked and the things we didn't like she loved doing fun things and making things fun for those around her on the days I was not feeling good Hanna would make sure to put a drink next to my pillow cook for the family and not only do the dishes but also make the kitchen super clean just how she knew I liked it almost all Christmas presents were Hanna's ideas because she knew what everyone in our family liked when we went shopping for it together our carts would always come back brimming to the top oh my god our carts would always come back brimming to the top even when Noah was little she adored him from the start she would make sure to stay up late and hide the elf on the shelf creatively for him to find in the morning she would practice soccer with him she would always pay attention and with her older sister they became best friends together the both of them gave no advice to help him become a wonderful person Hanna was always thinking about our family and always extended those thoughts to everyone around her as well she lifted all of our spirits she was going to dress up, fall in love go on dates, go to college get married, start a family take a bunch of vacations eat a ton of good food for me and I would watch her kids and for Christmas everyone would meet at Hanna's house and from there on she was always going to bring her family together on that day not only was my loving daughter's life taken but all of my family's future was taken as well since that day all of our lives had drastically changed now in my daily life whenever I see a pair of sisters I am sad when I see other siblings getting along when I see other mothers and daughters I am sad when I see other families having a good time I am sad when I see others her age having fun I am sad every moment, every day, every experience I think of Hanna and I am sad anything I do even when I have a good moment I am sad I am sad in the spring in the summer, in the fall in the winter during Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and all holidays even when I have a happy moment all I think about is if Hanna were here and it blankets everything and sadness and heartbreak to make sure that I don't sink anymore into the sadness I try not to pay attention to my surroundings even having to complete my daily tasks each day makes my heart hurt it takes everything out of me to ensure that the last thought of me doesn't break on that day when my special Hanna was taken from us we fell to our lowest point the darkest bottom we didn't even know existed to live a life without Hanna our brightest light having to continue carrying carrying the most soul-crushing pain forever for the rest of our lives we have to live our worst nightmare when I think of Hanna the phrase sad does not capture the pain I feel or the way my whole heart aches so my rare moments of relief are times when I don't have to think about her on top of the daughter I love being gone when I remember my memories with Hanna it feels like a stab to my heart and my tears will not stop falling it is unfair that thinking about Hanna is so excruciating it makes my crying unlist I know that no amount of crying will bring Hanna back so I breathe in and out trying to hold my heart together but I know that the days my eyes are dry will never come by doing just enough to scrape by in the morning and the afternoon at night on sunny days, rainy days, cloudy days we continue just surviving each day this is how we will continue to be surviving not living I am so fearful of another irreplaceable important person suddenly being taken away right in front of me I set off my family scared to death each day every night I wish that the morning wouldn't come every day I think about how nice it would be if I could stop time and stop thinking for us, our peaceful happy days with Hanna will never be again and then this is my impact statement I have rewritten this countless of times and it is never enough I cannot convey my thoughts into words nor share even a fraction of my feelings since losing Hanna to be honest I have not fully faced my emotions myself how can I Hanna is the one I went to for the little things, the big things and all the in-betweens Hanna is my little sister she is my other half my favorite person she completes me and there is not a single soul I could walk more than Hanna there is not a moment that goes by that I don't think about her it is unfair to even confine her murder into just a word lost I never hear her footsteps coming up the stairs anymore her bright lights in her room are never on which also reflects the bonus of our house now I don't see her napping on the couch cooking downstairs with my mom or making tiktoks with Noah the empty seat at the dining table is the loudest silence I have ever heard and without Hanna in the middle between Noah and I it emphasizes the space between us I was decorating the Christmas tree with Hanna in 2021 when I thought to myself I can't wait for when it is her house that we host the holidays at I was wondering which clothes I could get away dealing from her closet when I headed off to college wondering if her boyfriend would look like my boyfriend because our tastes and guys were so similar I was going to finally get my license so we could go thrifting together if I'm bored in school I can always just text Hanna to go on a walk together if I couldn't remember a song it's okay because Hanna would remember it we were going to be the best duo on the lacrosse field one look and she knows what I'm thinking one switch Japanese and we get to talk about our own little world she'll speak at the wedding at my wedding as the maid of honor and I at hers with Hanna by my side there's nothing I can't do instead of speaking at her wedding I spoke at her funeral instead of fish-chilling her hair for a game I curled her hair in a casket it doesn't matter if I go to her room to steal her clothes show her an outfit or ask for advice I am met with silence and darkness I pushed off getting my license because what was the point she's not here to sit in the passenger seat I couldn't go back to school and finish my high school years I'd see all of Hanna's classmates my classmates get their homecoming their sports games their prom in the graduation when Hanna doesn't I refuse to decorate the Christmas tree that is what we do with Hanna my brother asked me to still continue our traditions but I can't I can't be a good sister for him I can't be a good sister each day is just going through the motions because apparently we're still supposed to go on I hate it I never asked for it I never want to accept it loving Hanna shouldn't be this painful and life isn't supposed to be this paralyzing I am scared of forgetting Hanna I want my hippocampus to be filled with Hanna and Hanna only I don't need no memories I just want to keep the ones I have I don't want to meet new people because they aren't Hanna I don't want to wake up in the morning because Hanna's not here I don't want to be happy Hanna is my happy and my family we can't say to each other that we miss Hanna even though we feel it in every atom of our body we love her too much and those words are too hard because if we say that out loud to each other we all have to face the fact that we have to miss her forever and when we come back it is the rest of our lifetime without her I thought of course because we cannot even bear to share our pain with each other we also want with those around us which is why people can ask us how we are doing if they knew that it doesn't get better they would never ask that what I realized is that it seems that they forgot what we were like with Hanna looking back at pictures I have not seen my dad smile like that the joy radiates off of him I haven't seen Noah so alive without the backs under his eyes and I haven't seen my mom so carefree without holding her breath every second there are no words to capture her incandescent humor, thoughtfulness wit, kindness or loyalty Hanna is always there to support you hear you, see you, you'd know that throwing your head back and laughing at the stupid comment Hanna made you have to feel it the warmth of Hanna's laughter you have to hear it her colorful converse gold jewelry fond socks, perfect nails you have to see it her kindness was in abundance she recognizes the smallest details her love is unconditional the warmth she wraps you in is the warmth I cannot live without I do not want to live without Hanna she brought out the best in all of us she truly brought out the best in me so I'm sorry to everyone because being robbed of that is a tragedy in itself to know Hanna is the greatest gift in life I'm sorry for everyone who knows her because trying to meet someone like that again is impossible I look for Hanna in everyone I meet every place I go I know how draining that is when you're met with disappointment every time I'm sorry to all of those who only know me without her me without Hanna is someone I cannot even recognize I'm sorry Hanna for leaving that building that day that is and forever will be my biggest mistake and my biggest regret I'm sorry that I cannot make you feel even a fraction of a world without Hanna if I could the shooter would be dead a creature who left Hanna lying in her own pool of blood crying in pain who went to go shoot her again does not deserve to take another breath his parents would never see the light of day acts for district employees we held accountable and we would all be working on a time machine I want you to remember when you were 14 can you even it's such a young age I want you to think about everything that came after 14 everything Hanna doesn't ever get to experience she was not supposed to be shot and killed not even three months after starting her first day of high school she was supposed to grow old but she did not experience the beauty of life not feel its cruelty the least that can be done for Hanna is for it to be ruled life without parole there is no justice that will ever be enough however the first step is to ensure that he never has a chance to take away another life and destroy families ever again thank you thank you for your statements thank you for sharing your story not only did I read it before today I also listened very closely to you this morning so thank you for sharing just a small sliver of who she is and I am very, very sorry for your loss but I appreciate your statements this morning thank you for being a good answer whenever you're ready you may proceed to thank you the defendant he was commissioned and then proceeded to execute his plot to murder and terrorize his fellow students he chose this course of action and carried out these murders simply to make himself feel better take a moment to really think about that he was not acting in self-defense he did not make a mistake nor act accidentally he purposely he purposely murdered my daughter Hannah and three other children in order to make himself feel better I want to make my position regarding the defendant's sentencing and his future very clear there can be no forgiveness there can be no rehabilitation there is absolutely nothing that the defendant can ever do to earn my forgiveness his age plays no part his potential is irrelevant ultimately it is only his choices and his actions that matter actions that have consequences that can never be undone there is utterly nothing that he could ever do to contribute to society that would make up for the lives that he is so ruthlessly taken the defendant has indicated that one of his goals was to be able to see and experience the suffering of the families of the children killed at first I refused to feed into this sick and twisted desire by discussing the impact of my daughter's murder on myself and my family however after much struggle and introspection I've come to realize that my need for justice for my daughter completely outweighs the consideration of the defendant's irrelevant desires unfortunately I've also realized that unless you've experienced the loss of a child yourself there is simply no way for you to truly understand the devastation of the soul that boss causes it is impossible for me to successfully convey the complete impact of my daughter's loss Hannah's murder has destroyed a large portion of my very soul I am a shell of the person I used to be I think of her and miss her constantly every day is a battle to attempt to move forward a struggle to get out of bed to go through the motions of everyday life while pretending that things are getting better simple everyday sights and actions bring pain as I think of what it should have been like with Hannah there with us I think of all the good times that we've shared together as a family and more all the memories that will never be I will never think back fondly of her high school and college graduations I will never walk her down the aisle as she begins the journey of starting her own family I am forever denied the chance to hold her or her future children in my arms a few paragraphs of words describing Hannah kind of no way fully capture her truly beautiful caring soul nor in part her unlimited potential Hannah was an absolutely beautiful and thoughtful person she was always the first person to notice when someone has a problem then the first to go out of her way to offer help she was incredibly curious and talented she continually tried new things she crafted homemade jewelry tried cooking her own recipes and played several sports she was a record holder in track and a leader of her school volleyball and basketball teams she also hoped to she also hoped to join her older sister on the lacrosse team in the spring Hannah was just beginning to hit her stride academically she was a straight A student was fluent in English and Japanese and was studying Chinese she conquered everything that she put her mind to doing I'm relying on your education and life experiences to be able to imagine the incredible loss to the world that Hannah's death has wrought the lost potential of her life is truly incalculable Hannah kept a list of potential careers that she was really interested in I found this on her phone afterwards amongst the list you would find careers such as an immunologist pharmacist nurse physician an FBI agent we will never know how many souls she may have touched nor what improvements to people's lives her efforts may have resulted in these opportunities have been forever eradicated my family and the families of all the victims are depending on you to impose a sentence that is commensurate with this heinous crime his life should be forfeit however I realize that the law itself will not currently allow this and the closest that you can come to achieving this is the sentence what defended to life in prison without parole this is the minimum that justice demands I will leave you with a final thought if it were your child who was killed in such a collardly manner would you be satisfied that justice was served with anything less than him spending the rest of his life in prison thank you thank you for your statement with this one I am very sorry for your loss your statements did not fall on this for years I felt pain to be concerned to you and your daughter thank you thank you judge Miss Molly Darnell good morning men if you could please state your full name for the record Molly Darnell good morning men you may proceed with your statement it is easier for me to see you as a monster you made an intentional plan to shatter lives because I came you intended to kill me will the life that I woke to on December 1st 2021 was unrecognizable to me you do not have the power to destroy who I am in my heart I still carry love joy and hope I still believe in the power of humanity there is simply too much good in this world for your actions to destroy that the betrayal that was done that day goes beyond betraying the students you sat in classrooms with and the students you walked to the hall with the teachers and staff were there to support you and the community that you lived in it extends to educators the state to past graduates of Oxford high school and to the next generation of students and teachers I have firsthand knowledge of how you disregard and devalue human life you have proven that you cannot be trusted to live within a free community the memory of you raising your gun to me and the star on my arm may exist but I will continue to live a life full of the human experience because I am the writer of my own story you may not be glancing my way today but I know you can hear me when I consider the collective pain you methodically designed for our school community I believe that you deserve to spend the rest of your life in jail without parole you intended to leave my husband a widower and my children motherless there is no forgiveness for you but I have found that I do not need to forgive you for your life full of kindness and compassion for both myself and others to the media covering this case my family and I request that you not use the name of the name of this coward or any images during your media coverage we ask that anyone reading the news about this case avoid clicking links on articles that include his image Judge Rowe I want to thank you for providing a safe space for victims in this case to the officers that surround this room thank you for your service and commitment to safety Karen, Mark, David and the rest of those at the prosecuting attorney's office thank you for fighting for victims when we did not have the strength to fight ourselves to the crime victims rights advocates who helped shepherd us through this process I will forever be grateful thank you thank you for your statement and again I know this was not easy to do this morning so thank you for sharing with the court your experience this is Kyla Osage, support person Deputy Daniel Mayn thank you Mr. Keeks thank you if you could please state your name for the record Kylie Osage good morning to you good morning to Detective Mayn as well with that you may proceed with your statement this morning good morning my name is Kyla Osage I have attended Oxford Community Schools for my entire life I often look back at pictures of me and my parents in 2009 walking into my first day of kindergarten I was so innocent with my Barbie backpack my little pony lunchbox at the time I didn't know what a school shooting was no child's shot at that age let alone experience one I was so innocent on that first day of kindergarten and that innocence was taken from me two years ago I was a senior at Oxford High School on November 30th 2021 that day began like any other for me I drove to Oxford Middle School in the morning where me and my friends ate beer and I were partners for bully busters which was a bullying prevention program Tate and I spoke to sixth graders about bullying in the school environment and how to prevent it afterwards I drove back to the high school where I took a math test I ate lunch at the same table that I sat at every single day I made TikToks with my friends in the hallways before my fifth hour class me and my dear friend Riley Frans and I were standing in the hallway socializing with our peers and all of a sudden I thought of balloon pops I turned and I fell right to the ground I remember hearing screams I saw running but I couldn't run I was already down I remember hearing Mr. Wolf make an announcement I'd never heard the halls become silent so fast in my life silence was deafening I was laying on my side like this and I realized what had just happened I was just shot and I thought I was gonna die as I laid on the floor I attempted to get up but my legs weren't moving I repeatedly hit my legs with my hands like this in an attempt to regain any kind of feeling but not a single thing I then somehow tried to do a push-up to somehow drag my body to a safe place where I could get some help but with the weight of my car of my jacket and my backpack full of laptops and textbooks I was unable to do so it was so painful I let myself drop back down onto the floor but warmth on my face warmth from blood soaking into the carpet I remember hearing a squish sound against my right ear and it was the sound of carpet mixed with blood going into my ear I started yelling for help but when I say yelling I mean a shout that was loud enough for someone around me to hear yet quiet enough for the shooter not to hear me no one ever came but I did hear something I reached my hand over my head and I realized it was Hannah I could hear her groaning beside me realizing that I wasn't alone I kept trying to reassure someone will come help us don't worry just keep breathing just please stay with me I said that's a hurt a thousand times I won't point a SWAT team member came running past us he was the first person I had seen I pleaded to him please help us he did a double take and said someone will come back for you Hannah and I were left in utter loneliness and I thought I was dying I kept repeating my mom's phone number to make sure my brain was functioning I was creating math problems in my head and solving them to make sure I wasn't dying I continued to yell for help 15 minutes of laying there absolutely helpless 15 minutes of lying in a pool of my own blood 15 minutes of hearing Hannah St. Juliana's last sounds while stroking her hair and trying to encourage her when help finally came they attended to Hannah to wrap a tourniquet around her someone eventually came for me too I didn't know who it was but I knew it was a man and I later learned that that man was Mr. Ken Weaver Mr. Weaver stayed with me supporting my head and locating my wounds he kept pressure on my entrance wound to stop the bleeding Mr. Weaver fought to keep me awake and alive until the paramedics could attend to me during the ambulance ride I kept asking my paramedic will I still be able to ride my horses will I ever be able to play basketball again I kept asking these questions to the paramedic in the ambulance these are my favorite activities while growing up I was transported to St. Joseph's Hospital in Pontiac where I stayed into January during my hospital stay I spent one week in the intensive care unit for a month in the rehabilitation unit the bullet entered me through my right clavicle and exited out the left side of my back the bullet shattered my right clavicle broke two of my ribs and grazed my spine causing a spinal cord injury that night I had an emergency surgery to remove a hematoma from my spinal cord also to take out the shards of bone from around my spine with pieces of clothing that had entered along with the bullet one week later I had a clavicle repair surgery where they stabilized my right clavicle with a titanium plate during my almost five weeks stay in the rehab unit I had to train myself to sit up unassisted I had to relearn how to perform basic life tasks like eating, brushing my teeth showering and getting dressed I had to learn to walk again as well as climb stairs prior to this event I was being recruited to ride horses competitively on the college equestrian team unfortunately I cannot follow through with this opportunity I've been riding horses my entire life I've had several horses throughout my lifetime they have provided me with years of happiness being able to swing a leg over my horse is my therapy it's pure joy I have not been able to do this in two years before November 30th I also had a great job working at a golf and country club I love my job and I love the people there but unfortunately I was unable to return to work and have not had a job since due to my disabled condition I have not been able to earn any money for myself seven months after being discharged I became a freshman at Michigan State University where I'm continuing my education carrying on with my life because no one is ever going to stop me from living my life to the fullest Michigan State has provided me with several accommodations as I am still disabled and in extreme pain every single day they were able to place me in a dorm that is close to all my classes they provide transportation for me since walking long distances is a battle it was a one minute walk to the closest cafeteria without these accommodations I would not have been able to complete my freshman year at Michigan State this past summer I underwent another spine surgery where the surgeons fused my C6 to T7 vertebrae to stable my spine and corrective progressing deformity resulting from my injury I was blessed to have found some excellent surgeons in New York City my family and I spent two weeks recovering in New York and your honor to make everyone aware back surgery is so hard it causes intense pain and struggles it's impossible to do anything yourself I needed help just to roll over sit up, stand up from a chair get in and out of bed and sip a glass of water my two spine surgeries took the life out of me besides relearning daily life tasks I had to stop playing tennis riding horses, driving and a whole list of other things that people can take for granted hanging out with my friends is hard the best I can do is sit down the whole time I've been on a list of medications for the past two years and I'm so tired of relying on medications to keep me out of my misery I also have a thermal regulation disorder resulting from my spinal cord injury with this condition I'm unable to stay warm in cold weather or to keep my cool body warm or keep my body cool during warm temperatures this is a difficult condition to cope with as I must keep the weather into consideration when making any plans or just choose to stay indoors currently I'm a sophomore at Michigan State University where all these accommodations are still in place even though I am able to attend school I'm still in constant pain every single day when I get out of bed the physical pain hits me hard for reference your honor it has been 738 days of constant physical and mental pain it has been 738 days without playing basketball or tennis it has been 738 days of not being able to ride my horse it has been 738 days of reliving the tragedy in my head every single hour it has been 738 days of living with PTSD scared of the thought of someone hurting me again it has been 738 days of living with survivor's guilt knowing that I could not save Hannah St. Juliana 738 days and counting for the rest of my life I will live with these struggles still to this day I'm in physical therapy twice a week for an hour I attend therapy where my therapist helped to ease my ongoing pain we are also working on regaining all the strength back that I have lost I will never be able to ice skate again I will likely never be able to take my future children's sledding I will never be able to ride a roller coaster or jump on a trampoline ever again I will never be able to participate in intramural sports teams at my school I will never be able to attend sports in the student section at school as my pain is unbearable during events like these my life has changed its path entirely however your honor I refuse to let the cowardly acts of a person affect the rest of my life I will continue and live on for those that we've lost I will continue to walk around MSU's campus strong and proud I will continue to have compassion and spread love and joy positivity everywhere I step foot I will continue to advocate for those that have experienced something similar I will proceed to stand up against gun violence in hopes that nothing like November 30th ever happens to anyone ever again and nothing will ever stop me from living my life to the absolute fullest no one will ever take my happiness away from me because I'm the strongest person I know your honor I've experienced many blessings and met many angels along this journey I've come to know the love, compassion and support of a community I have so much to be thankful for I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to stand here before you and tell you my story I'm so blessed with my family they have walked with me every single step of the way their strength is astounding during both of my hospital days I met so many amazing individuals who have become some of my best friends or my family they have supported me through every single endeavor they took care of me and poured their heart into my recovery I'm beyond grateful for my hospital and healthcare family that have cared for me as if I'm their family I'm so fortunate to have some great friends who make changes to their lifestyles just to accommodate mine most of all your honor I'm thankful that I'm still here I keep my faith and trust in a greater plan as long as I'm on this earth I will fight for justice for everyone in this country that has experienced something similar please do not let anyone else suffer the impact and trials of our tragedy that we hear about today please let there be no opportunity for more tragedy and pain because no one deserves this thank you for your time and I hope my presence here today will help you make the right decision thank you for being here and your strength and courage and speaking today is nothing short than admirable so thank you for your statements this morning thank you for being this well I just want to confirm that Miss Franz is not in my year correct she's not good morning if you could please state your name for the record my name is Riley Franz thank you you may proceed with your statement this morning I've contemplated how to put November 30th 2021 into words since the day it took place how to verbally acknowledge that day's impact terror, sorrow and tragedy how to make a victims impact statement quite literally I would love nothing more than to stand up here and say that I've overcome the obstacles of that day and have continued to live my everyday life but that would be a lie November 30th has altered my life in every single aspect and has changed and molded the way I think the way I feel and the way I act I can no longer sleep without having flashbacks of a bullet entering one side of my neck and exiting the other I feel limited on what I can do at 19 years old because of the thoughts running through my head my entire existence has been consumed by fear and that I will once again have to experience the pain and the suffering that I felt on November 30th I used to love attending school where I would learn and create connections with others I now experience panic attacks nearly every day when I have to attend university I can no longer sit in a classroom and focus and take notes like many students around me now when I sit at a school I feel anxious checking for all my exits highly in tune with all movements inside and outside the classroom flinching at every sound from the walking upstairs to a pencil dropping and counting down the minutes until I feel that I can breathe again I cannot remember what it's like to feel safe and secure in any space that I occupy I often cancel plans because I fear leaving the comfort of my home and my family on the days that I can't get out of bed because I'm afraid when I'm sitting in a restaurant or classroom or even walking to my car the unimaginable will happen again when a balloon pops a car backfires or people run past me my thoughts have been consumed by fear while my body is constantly in survival mode and I'm sad which my selfless parents work so hard to create for my sister and me free of hardship pain and worry a life filled with opportunities and fearlessness I feel that the structure my parents created was burned to the ground that day everything I had the privilege of not feeling or fearing is now my daily life I mourn the childish wonder and carelessness stripped from my little sister the most fantastic person I've ever had the privilege of sharing life with I mourn the person I used to be because although I survived the original pieces of me didn't I will never have the opportunity to experience life like I used to with so much joy and clarity the scariest part of November 30th for me was not that day itself but the days that followed it on the days that I feel like I am not occupying my body but watching it from above I feel like I cannot breathe because I'm paralyzed in a world no one who hasn't experienced something like this could ever imagine pieces of me shattered that day and two years later I am still struggling to put them back into place but everyday I choose not to allow what a selfish individual decided to do to break me I, Riley Franz am a survivor of gun violence I, Riley Franz am a survivor of a terrible epidemic caused by a broken system but I refuse to be known as a victim at the hands of an individual with no regard for others his selfishness will not consume my identity I am so much more than a victim I'm a daughter to the most amazing parents Jeff and Brandi I'm a sister to the most remarkable young woman I have ever met Isabella I am a friend to me, a cousin, a granddaughter but most importantly I'm a person I'm a person who deserved a chance to make it to her fifth class that day I'm a person who deserved to not run in fear while she bled out someone who deserved not to have to answer a phone call from her little sister asking if she was safe I deserved to be a child that day a student who made it to her class not someone's target practice I would never wish what I experienced upon anyone in this world what my family experienced that day what I continue to battle daily no child should have to fear that their school will be next that they need to know what to do if the worst breaks out in front of them children should attend school focused on their studies, friends aspirations and dreams no parent should have to worry that their school is unsafe at a place where they are supposed to learn and prosper students should no longer have to learn lockdown drills instead we should work harder to create a system that prevents gun violence and prevents children's lives from being stripped away and leaving only pieces behind okay thank you my name is Keegan Gregory and on November 30th, 2021 my life and many others were changed forever since that day the Oxford community including myself, my family my friends and my school have endured an unimaginable amount of hurt pain and trauma what started as a normal Tuesday turned into an event that changed many of our lives forever my life has not been and won't ever be the same before the shooting I was doing well life was comfortable and without any major problems I trusted that people and the world was safe in the same town on that Tuesday I walked into the school as a normal ninth grader yet I walked out an entirely different person and I am overwhelmed by grief shock, fear and disbelief on that day I was trapped in the bathroom with the perpetrator and with Justin Schilling we were stuck helpless and cornered with no defense I was right there when he was shot and killed yet I couldn't do anything about it life in shock it doesn't feel real that somebody has the capacity to kill people without any remorse thought or cause everyone at school that day was living their own life and there was no regard for who he shot at and or killed it was and always will be the most terrifying moment of my life being cornered with no option but to run out of the bathroom as fast as I could hoping to live even after leaving the bathroom I could see bodies on the floor blood everywhere and knew that some of my peers were now gone it was the day when Justin's life was cut short and he had no choice or say in it all I know that my life could have been taken as well that day what started as shock and disbelief on November 30th and the days following slowly became fear that overwhelmed me and brought me to a dark place of sadness and grief from the families for the families who lost someone close to them as well as the thoughts about what other students in the school and their families were going through those were and are the darkest moments of my life I felt then and still feel now the guilt of surviving I know that if it wasn't Justin's life that was taken it could have been mine and I'm forever grateful for him to that to him for that I almost feel guilty about being alive knowing that Justin's family is living in grief I remember meeting them for the first time and not knowing who they were what they were going through or how they would react that guilt is now compounded with sadness, fear, anxiety and trauma it is insane that one person could change the course of so many lives of a single event and not care about them at all my life and so many other lives were changed because of it I did well in school and yet after the shooting couldn't bring myself to go into school let alone focus or learn anything I didn't feel safe this year I have finally been able to attend and be present in school however I still experience many triggers on a daily basis and have to work 10 times harder than I did before I can't go into crowded rooms or public spaces without feeling afraid initially there was a constant thought because I didn't and couldn't trust anybody to this day I still scan rooms and people whenever I'm somewhere knew because I could no longer assume that the world is a safe place at the time I wouldn't speak about it because it was too much no one could truly understand what we went through that day I felt absolutely hopeless because I could barely function in my day to day life my day times were filled with flashbacks fear, grief and paranoia my night times were sleepless and consumed with thoughts about the day I had gained awareness of every noise and potential danger in my home and nightmares that I had no control over I couldn't find true rest or safety when I was awake or asleep at home or in public with people I knew or people I didn't know there was no safe place to escape not even in my mind I continued to feel trapped in this new reality even knowing that there was a 0.01 chance of anything bad happening the potential danger or harm is always in the back of my mind with the past several months my family moved out of state it has been extremely difficult to meet new people because I didn't know who I can trust well when I do meet new people it's hard to explain to them what I went through on that day and the impact it has had on my life they can't truly understand or relate it's scary to know that there can be someone else in this world that has the potential to harm so many it's harder to function in my day to day life while everything takes a little extra thought or precaution I used to be good in school now it's hard to be in the building let alone socialize or learn when my brain is constantly operating from a place of fear and anxiety my life is now full of what ifs and it's hard to present in the moment he robbed me in the Oxford community of so many things thankfully our community came together to support one another but this came from a place of trauma and brokenness and should never have to be this way so many people including myself and my family had to reshape, reorganize and reschedule their lives financially to accommodate for the aftermath the therapy appointments groups, doctor appointments community events, court dates, etc when we were in our most vulnerable states we endured the challenges and obstacles that come with the tragedy there are so many things in our lives that won't ever be the same we were ultimately robbed of our trust safety, security, friends, school hobbies and life as we knew it to be Your Honor, I trust that you will assign a sentence that makes sure you won't ever hurt anyone again no matter the outcome of the sentencing I hope he can receive the counseling he needs to understand the impact of his actions that the community and the people's lives I hope one day he realizes the unnecessary how unnecessary it was it's been over two years since that day and I'm still very much in the process of healing not a day goes by that I don't think about it or feel the impact my hope is that one day things will steady out and my day to day life will become easier I hope that we can all heal to a point of living without feeling afraid, anxious, hopeless or guilty I hope this is something that will grow with me and strengthen me but no longer define me I hope we can all get to a place where November 30th, 2021 is the day of remembering the lives we were taking and is no longer remembered in the way the perpetrator had intended I hope we will come out of this stronger than we were before to carry on the legacies of the foreloss My name is Aiden Watson and I'm an 11th grader at Oxford High School Your Honor, in 2021 I graduated my first year of high school and it was my first year back to see the classes after a year of doing online because of COVID I was really excited to be in high school and go to this class called Radio TV and Film because I wanted to be an audio engineer I love to edit videos and work on anything audio visual At home I would set up concerts for my family with special lighting, microphone speakers videos and a stage At church I was helping out with sound doing lights for VBS and I started doing some DJs DJing stuff for events and grad parties I couldn't wait to grow up and move to California to work in the movies Around the end of October threats started happening at the school I remember the deer head and a picture of a bird in a jar I remember being on the bus and my friend showed me in a group chat a threat that scared me enough to call my mom and ask to come home I didn't go home that day I also didn't get shot that day I remember that was the first time I was really scared that something You're watching Local 4 Plus Live in the D is next How things looked, I can't remember clearly My therapist said it's because I'm blocking it out to protect myself after the night and how everything changed At the hospital I had to talk to many different people from different law enforcement agencies I told the same story four times It wouldn't be until I watched the video in the prosecutor's office and I would find out that my memory was not exactly right This was hard In the hospital police took my clothes including my marching band hoodie with my name on it that I got from being in marching band for my first year as a high school student I didn't want to be in the hospital so we left I remember the pain that night and it was a pain that I would keep on having We had to change the band it is all the time and every time it would peel off my skin and hurt badly This went This went on for what seemed forever I couldn't walk then I didn't realize that I would never be able to run again without having pain I used a wheelchair that I borrowed from my church I tried walking in a boot but it hurt too bad I was shot through my legs so I had two wounds on each of the side of my leg and the boot squeezed and pushed into my runes when I tried to move I couldn't do it I just had to lay in bed Eventually I was walking on crutches Sometimes it is still hard and the pain just happens I get random extreme pains in my leg to the point where I have to sit down and I can't continue with what I was doing I have lots of testing including some including something where they poked me with a bunch of needles and they messed with my nerves that felt like I was being burned I found out I have permanent nerve damage and I might and that might be where the pain is coming from I did physical therapy for the first time and it was a lot of work I ended up having to go back a second time and they were even worse It was hard and helped but not completely I took prescription medication now to help with the pain Since it happened I tried to do different things but marching with the band and parades can't happen for me anymore I tried football but I had to kneel most of the time on the sidelines and I really couldn't play The rest of the team didn't understand me I was afraid for a long time and sometimes I still am but I try to make it better now I don't want this to happen to me so I always will be looking around I will be prepared next time and I will know when to run when it happens I always look around now and I am more careful in situations now After it happened I was afraid to be in crowds and loud situations I was scared indoors where I couldn't see how to get out One time I was at a banquet for my sister and I saw a kid hiding in the corner in a black hoodie I started crying and I started to run out that happened to me a long time ago I would start to get really scared and run out wherever I was Another time a neighbor shot off a firework in the middle of the day I was really scared I was on the floor then ran into the house and locked myself in the bathroom I couldn't calm down I was prepared for fireworks happening at night but not in the middle of the day I started seeing a therapist from church and that didn't really help I did EMDR therapy and it started and started to see different therapists She helped me She went to the school with me I still see her sometimes when I need help I called her in the parking lot at school once This was probably a year after it happened That year though I never went back to the school alone I remember when everyone went back and I couldn't do it I just wanted to be like everybody else but I couldn't It was too hard at the end of the year because it was my favorite and my sister sat in there with me every day so I could go It didn't matter I didn't like that class the same way then My sister was a senior She sat with me until she graduated I never went back that year I needed a quick escape so she had to be there I still need that I drive now so if I need a quick escape I can drive away myself I understand why I was different than and why I couldn't do what I used to do both physically and mentally I couldn't sleep for the longest time I could only sleep with music now I kept hearing gunshots and they wouldn't go away There was more but this is good enough The day it happened I was supposed to get in the water for the first time for the swim team I was supposed to have my first day my last day of drivers training When it happened everything changed for me and everyone else Before the shooting I was a freshman in high school in marching band taking drivers training looking forward to everything I wanted so much that I know I can't have now I don't like the same things the way I did I'm worried about everything that makes me think about what I need to do and what I can do I don't want to go live far away as an adult and have a job to where there's lots of people and noise I can't do that anymore He has basically ruined the rest of my life even though even though it's two years later I still feel pain in the facts he did. Every day I feel them I believe that the shooter should be locked behind bars forever because of all the things that he did someone like him does not deserve to be walking amongst other people in this world he should get life without parole and he should be locked in prison forever he should never see the light of day again he is a horrible human being and the fact that he did what he did and the fact that he thought what he did on November 30th would be fun is proof that he is horrible I believe that he I believe I do not believe that he is crazy I believe it's a scheme I believe he's trying to lie to us to try to get out of prison early if it were up to me it would never happen he would never be able to touch grass outside of prison you want to go on I don't know I know people that know you now but my neighbor knows it's a procedure I don't know yeah he was like we could have something to do with it we were low key until the day of sex right then we better start we got to do something I know on behalf of my boys we have to be the best I'm asking the rest of you who lives here because if you want business I'm going to have this to be transferred to so that the future is back because you know it's going to happen you work the election only to as often as there perfect when you travel as often as there I believe you know exactly the general contractors they have everything in their house perfect right but I didn't know what to do with my buddies and I told them I had to drywall and stuff because they still do it themselves that's not what they do so I don't know what you mean actually you know he's convinced that somebody wants to do he wants to do a double checker he's not finished all of his work but if you watch him he doesn't know he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates it Chair McDonald on behalf of the people. Thank you, Mark. He's on behalf of the people. Thank you, Paul. There's a lot going on in the panel that depends on who you may have on behalf of the people in the public. Thank you. With that, you may have time to speak. Thank you, and that's to tell you my apologies, I didn't see you back there. With that, everyone may see it. We'll let people come into the courtroom and be quiet, please, so we can continue with the proceedings. With that, people, you may proceed. Thank you. Ms. Linda Watson. Thank you. Good morning. Please state your name for the record. Linda Watson. Thank you. Thank you, Your Honor, for allowing me to speak today on behalf of my family. And thank you to the prosecution and the advocates and the Resiliency Center and the community of supporters. And mostly, thank you to these folks back here who we've grown to know through the worst of circumstances. To the shooter, you can look away and you can look down, but your ears are still open. So, listen, almost everything since November 30th has been hard and felt impossible for my family. That day at 1253, my cell phone rang. It was my youngest son, Aiden. That was a moment I will never forget. He was screaming, Mom, I've been shot. Help me. There's a school shooter. I didn't know exactly where he was in the school at the time. If the danger was over, or if he was even safe. At first, I told him to hide, but then he told me he was running outside. It was snowy that day, so I told him to bury himself in the snow. I didn't know if he was being chased. I didn't even grasp the gravity of the situation. All I knew in the moment was that my son was shot and he needed me. While still on the phone with him, I could hear him getting into some stranger's car. I felt helpless and terrified. I didn't know if my son just went from one dangerous situation to another. I didn't know how badly he was hurt where he was shot. I was trying to figure out where he was going and I couldn't find the business on Google that the man was driving him to. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I made it to the intersection by the high school and even though I couldn't see the school, everything was quiet. No police, no ambulance, no sirens, nothing. I must have gotten there so quickly despite it feeling like forever. I just sat there trying to figure out where Aiden was. He wasn't on the phone anymore. I called my husband screaming that Aiden had been shot and then I hung up the phone. I didn't even tell him Aiden was okay because I didn't know Aiden was okay. I called my other two kids. My oldest was driving home. He was safe. My daughter was a senior at Oxford that year. I couldn't remember if she was in school that day or if she was offsite on another class. She was safe. Even though it was only minutes, it felt like a lifetime before I found Aiden. When I got to the building, he was sitting in a chair with his leg up. I remember sobbing while I'm holding him. That was hard and felt impossible, but I found him. There was a lot of blood. It covered his shoe and his pants. He was being so strong and I didn't know that he was in shock. EMTs were suddenly there though. I think they arrived after I did, but I can't remember. I could hear calls coming in on the EMTs, radio increasing in frequency and intensity more and more. They wrapped his leg and directed me to take him to the hospital in Pontiac, telling me that they had to leave because there was a great need at the high school. I still didn't know the extent of what was happening at the high school. All I knew is that they were leaving and my son had been shot. That was hard and felt impossible. But together with the people at the business, we put Aiden on an office chair that had wheels and we rolled him to the car. By the time we got to Lapeer Road, the quiet was gone. Every first responder from what seemed like everywhere was driving towards us. There were so many sirens, so many lights, so many first responders that traffic we were driving with kept stopping and pulling over. We kept having to stop. I can't remember when I started to scream, but at some point I was screaming and driving around traffic on the shoulders zigzagging in and out of traffic. I didn't know if we would get pulled over and I think I almost hoped we would so they would get him to the hospital faster. I kept thinking I wasn't going to make it and at one point I couldn't see through the tears. That's when Aiden started to comfort me. That's my boy, my sweet, sincere, loving boy who always looks out for his family. He had been shot, was bleeding through the wrap onto the dashboard, trying to hold his leg up and he was just trying to make sure I was okay. I wish I could say that was the last time I lost it like that, but it wasn't. I wish I could say that my boy stayed the same sweet child that he was that day, but shock wears off and trauma sets in and people change. Seeing that happen to your child is hard and it's impossible to work through, but we keep trying. We made it to the hospital. Doctors came from everywhere and swarmed him. They brought an X-ray machine to him. He was repeatedly questioned, had a police officer stationed at his bed. There were two other kids right by Aiden from Oxford. One boy sitting in his bed alone, holding his face, bleeding, then his mom arrived. I didn't know her, but I know her now. I would learn all of their names, those that died and those that were injured. I would meet their parents in court and in other ways. We would go through this hell together yet still feel so alone. We would cry together, advocate together, try sometimes in vain to make anything better that we could. This is hard and feels impossible, but we don't give up. While we were in the hospital, we were getting texts and calls. We learned really what happened. Hannah Madison and Tate didn't make it that day. The following day, Justin lost his life in the same hospital we took Aiden to. It was hard to learn about and felt impossible to comprehend, but it was the beginning of our new reality. And though I knew what had happened then, I wasn't prepared for how things would be and how hard they would be and how everything would change for us. That night, no one slept but Aiden. We were on alert to watch for compartment syndrome and learning how to tend to his wounds and changing his bandages. I cried all night. Aiden slept with pain medication. And the next morning, I was so grateful when he woke up. I put my head on his chest just to hear his heartbeat. Grateful he was alive because some parents didn't have that the next morning. He bled through the bandages and the wrap onto the pillow that was propping up his leg that first night. It wouldn't be the last time something like that happened either. It became common to have his clothes, pillows, blankets, and sheets stained. 47 days after my son was shot, both wounds finally scabbed over, though we did have some break for bleeding. Before the bleeding stopped, however, black discharge from the burn of the bullet. Blood from his wound and yellow pus and fluid would ooze from his wounds. We were instructed to do something called a wet to dry bandage, changing it three times a day. Every time we changed it when we pulled it off, no matter how slowly we did it, the method we tried, the type of sterile pads we used, it removed his skin, made him bleed and caused him pain over and over again. I used to have to cut sterile pads in half because we didn't have enough due to all the bleeding and the drainage. I remember having to wash out ace bandages and hang them in my shower to dry. He became dependent on the wrap that covered those bandages. He wouldn't give it up for months. He insisted he needed it to protect it. We didn't argue, we just kept washing them. I didn't have what I needed to help him at first. That was hard and felt impossible. But people from the community came to our home and they brought us supplies to help our son. He needed help getting to the toilet and bathing. He couldn't walk and he couldn't get the wound or the bandage wet. It was like a return to infancy. But now washing my son in a medical chair instead of a baby bath. I also had to give his foot and leg sponge baths. His skin started to flake, callus changed colors between the wounds. Even though it caused him so much pain, we had to properly clean the space between the wounds to prevent infection. That seemed to be really painful for him. And he developed a large indentation across his leg as he healed where the bullet had destroyed part of his leg, taking muscle, damaging nerves, and removing tissue. He required personal care services around the clock because he couldn't walk, toilet, and had to be brought food to eat while lying down. I remember worrying about not being able to go back to work, about insurance and paying our bills. I would hide and cry on the bathroom floor so he wouldn't see. Being so upset, I couldn't stop throwing up because I didn't know if we were going to be okay financially if I couldn't go back to work because I carried the benefits for our family. But it didn't matter because I wasn't going to leave him. My husband was off work too and we just didn't know how to be anymore. We couldn't function. We only knew we had to be there for him and for our family. That was hard and it felt impossible. But we took care of each other because that's what family does. That's what good parents do. I remember how family was, how our family was before this. Though everything we had to do since this, how it weighed on us, how it changed us. I wouldn't describe myself as a helicopter parent before, but definitely an involved parent. Now I'm always afraid of losing Aiden to my other kids. I'm overprotective, worried, and I can't let go. I'm definitely a helicopter parent now. When Aiden was ready to start being around other people, one of the siblings would go with him. My other son could blend better at an all-kids support group than adults. Aiden tried to go once, but he couldn't go back. It was too hard. When Aiden tried to go back to school just to see how it was, you just heard from him. My daughter would go with him. She audited a class with him. She wasn't registered in for the entire rest of the year before she graduated so he could go. Most days he couldn't make it anyway. Even as he progressed and we made it to the summer after the shooting, after my daughter had graduated, she went with him to band camp. It helped Aiden, but he didn't make it through band camp either. He called me crying in pain and he was scared. I ended up with him bringing him Vicodin and a scooter so he could get around. That was hard and felt impossible, but his siblings were there for him when he needed him and we modify things to make it through. He had his first panic attack at his grandma's house the Christmas after the shooting. It was the first, but it wouldn't be the last and honestly at this point I've lost count. Like when we were shopping in Ikea almost a year after the shooting and he said, I got to get out of here because he felt trapped and started to have a panic attack or when an unexpected and loud firework on a July afternoon sent him rushing into the house crying and angry where he sat on the floor. He was so mad because he had made it through fireworks just the day before but you see those are the ones he prepared for. That was hard and felt impossible, but that is what we must do now. Lots and lots of preparation to get through anything. Though you cannot prepare for everything like when a balloon popped at a sporting event and we had to leave over a year later after the shooting. At one point we had to stay in a hotel because construction noise such as nail guns sounds too much like real guns. Every time we learned a new trigger we had to develop a new plan. We were and always are in crisis management mode. He used to have terrible nightmares and hear gunshots that weren't there when he was awake. Noises are hard but absolute silence was impossible so we bought special headphones he could sleep in and a music subscription. It didn't take it away when he was awake but it did help him sleep. Something that stands out like it was yesterday is a look on his face and he tried to run for the first time. When he realized he couldn't do it the pain was too much and it stopped him. I remember how confused he was at first. It was devastating to see his realization, his pain and sadness simultaneously. That was so hard and definitely felt impossible but he's done so much work in PT since then to get where he is now yet he still is not where he should be if it never happened. Aiden still doesn't go to high school for a full day two years later. He's never been able to work back up to that. The year after the shooting after his sister graduated he didn't have her to be with him. He also didn't have her, he also didn't have what he referred to as a quick escape because that was his turn for the ability to get out of the school if he needed to. We had a plan for that too. Last year at the beginning of the school year I had to drop him off and sit in my car in the parking lot for the few hours that he was there each day. That was hard and felt impossible to send him back to school at all but he learned to drive and we created a process with the school that included a special contact he would have. He had to get special permission for the times he just had to run out of the school because he couldn't take it. A panic attack would set in embarrassment would happen and then he would just run out even with the process the accommodations and the planning still some staff and some of his peers don't get it. They're either clueless not informed don't care or are indifferent but they don't understand how hard and impossible everything is most days for Aiden. They don't understand all the thought planning effort that goes into trying to make just a portion of the school day work for him. Aiden's been questioned by school staff asked to provide doctors notes to validate not being able to do something. He's been harassed and bullied by students who don't understand that Aiden has an accommodation and not an unfair advantage. They don't understand that all Aiden ever wants is to feel normal and do everything everyone else can just the way they do it but he can't anymore. This is very hard and continues to feel impossible but we keep adjusting the process and the plans we keep having the hard conversations with staff and students that should know better but this is our life now and not theirs. So I don't know if they will ever understand as parents we've had to stand in front of the school board the Senate connect to politicians beg them all for help to do what's right to get answers to do something to help only to get backlash and be outcasted by a portion of our community we once loved. We try to put our anger into something good advocate for change but it doesn't help the lost parts of our community because people don't understand in our callous seeking our attempts at seeing our attempts at advocacy as it stands against who they are. People meanwhile but they don't understand that their words can be hurtful to Aiden in our family. We've been told we are the lucky ones that we need to stop being negative be grateful he is alive and we are but hearing you just need to get over it already you haven't moved on yet it was just his leg you were carried around in a fence that isn't yours and even maybe this isn't the place for you anymore by the former superintendent just starts to weigh on you after a certain amount of time especially when all you're trying to do is heal your son and your family going out into the community we're confronted with people staring pointing whispering and many strangers boldly trying to talk about things with no consideration for how it hurts or us or our son we've even had people try to exploit a relationship with our family or a son to benefit off of the trauma it made us feel like we couldn't leave our home we couldn't trust we felt like prisoners after a while we shouldn't feel like a prisoner this was hard and felt impossible so we make plans to move I'm not sure I would have gotten through any day without crying if it wasn't for medication which is something I've never had to do before I've also lost count of the number of times a doctor has told my husband and I that something medically that's going on with us is directly attributed to stress I used to think I was a strong person but I've struggled with everything and I cry so easily now I could barely get through this I have tremendous guilt because before the shooting when threats were being reported Aiden asked me if he could stay home from school and I told him he was safe and he was not I essentially lied to my son and then he was shot I carry that with me now that's hard and it feels impossible but we have to take care of ourselves to take care of him physically Aiden still has trouble with mobility walking running he tries to always push through the pain so he could do everything that he's ever wanted to do he got stronger Aiden had to relearn how to walk evenly to prevent additional pain happening pain happening in other areas of his body due to body mechanics he has nerve damage and inflammation that causes pain all the time the pain that at two years post-incident per the doctors will be as good as it gets now we hope they are wrong he takes prescription pain medication on a regular basis he wears compression when he knows he'll be on his feet for a long time different recommendations for treatment have been more hurtful than helpful the patent and a TENS machine that sent him screaming crying to the ground when he knows he cannot do things he just has to miss school or activities and when he tries to do things and figures out he cannot he just sits or kneels often facing ridicule from a lack of understanding mentally Aiden still has work he's doing every time there's another shooting it's a setback every time there's another threat it's a setback when Aiden's older brother was at MSU in February of 23 we received an alert from an active shooter on campus Aiden started texting his brother telling him how to survive a school shooting after that it was hard again Aiden struggled with going back to school again and that happens anytime something happens I recognize the attendance secretary at the school just by her voice now and when I call him out of school I'm not even sure I need to say who I am anymore she just knows who we are and why we're calling we can't move on like the rest of the world we don't get to everything no matter how hard how big how little it is we'll always be more to us I've had so many conversations with my son that no advice or preparation could help with like when Aiden was preparing to go back to school long after everyone else returned we found him looking at bulletproof backpacks and clothing he told us he planned to never be taken by surprise again that he would be prepared that is hard and felt impossible but it is what it is we get through it all with plans conversations music tears help bandages doctor's visits wheelchairs crutches a walking boot physical therapy EMDR therapists medications compressions times machines and anything else we can try because we will work to help him feel physically better and mentally safe I really thought about not sharing my statement because of something we heard during the court proceedings that the shooter said he wanted the parents of those who passed to suffer my kid is alive and for that we're grateful and we have suffered and for that reason I am speaking because I want him to know that he did cause suffering but what will happen next in his life and next in our lives will be the exact opposite we will move on he will not just because it's hard and pretty much always feels impossible we don't give up because we can't and we won't this isn't just a part of our life it is our life now there's been so much that Aiden has gone through because of this and I didn't cover it all I left off some of the most painful and uncomfortable things because this is all the shooter will get from us forever and ever what a bullet in the shooter took from Aiden and our family is hard and impossible to describe completely Aiden will be dealing with this for the rest of his life there's no sentence that can take that away or change that no sentence that can make the shooter understand or feel what our family has felt and still feels my son will have to live with pain trauma and limitations because of this forever so too should the shooter have to deal with the consequences of his actions by being incarcerated for the rest of his life for everything that we have experienced that's hard felt impossible the shooter this monster should have to feel everything hard and painful and impossible for the rest of his life the closest thing we can get to that is life in prison there should never be a possibility of my son coming across the shooter at any point in his life Aiden doesn't deserve to have that be another fear he has to live with because of him otherwise there is no justice thank you thank you thank you thank you Josh Lilliana Alvarado Lilliana Alvarado thank you and good morning to you you may go ahead and proceed with your statement Tuesday, November 30th, 2021 it's a day I will not forget a day forever changed my life and my outlook on many things it started out just like any other any other morning dropped my sister off at the high school at the middle school then went to park at the middle school I waited for my best friend because she was always late and we always walked together we went to the middle school for mentorship for the bully busters as we walked in everybody was already in the library sitting in a circle laughing really loud we asked what was so funny because we were so lost that's when Tate showed us his phone of drafts fighting he was laughing so hard soon after we went and taught six graders a lesson and then after that I went back to Oxford High School and continued my day not knowing what I was walking into within four hours I would be running for my life fighting and praying to walk back out it changed everything I used to not be scared to go to school the store, get my nails done take my dog on a walk go to the gym just daily things I would normally do but today anywhere but home I'm scared of the possible outcome I'm scared of the outcomes that may happen I'm always ready for something to happen growing up I was always out going and done for whatever as long as we had fun and I feel like I'm restricted on what I can do because of the fear I developed after the incident kids should not have to fear going to school or have to worry about if they're going to make it home at the end of the day do their family or their family worry about their children at school this incident not only took a mental toll on myself but everybody in the community my little sister who was eight years old at the time of the shooting can't go to school in person anymore because of her constant anxiety how is that fair any time I'm out I always scan the room for the nearest exit and if the room doesn't have an exit I typically don't go I always watch everybody's body language and after a while that also has a toll on my mental health I remember a couple nights after the shooting happened I couldn't sleep in my room by myself because every little sound I heard felt like it was happening again I had to go to therapy I'm going to do with anxiety and being okay even when I wasn't okay and I still struggle with that today when I go home for a break from school I see my friends and family but when I break them back to Augsburg I can still remember everything it's an incident reminder till this day I can still hear gunshots and sirens so even to the point when I see sirens sometimes I have a full on panic attack mental health is a big thing that shouldn't be looked past life shouldn't be like this for anybody but especially kids or teenagers school should be a safe spot to go and get our education not to run from bullets or develop fear and constant anxiety so judge as we move forward I pray this disgusting filthy human being gets life without parole thank you all for listening to me thank you and thank you for your strength and courage and speaking in this now afternoon thank you it's Crystal Baldwin if you could please state your full name for the record Crystal Baldwin thank you to the honorable Kay Roe first off my name is Crystal Baldwin and the mother of Mason Baldwin who was a freshman and president in Oxford High School on November 30th 2021 he was in run 256 I never forget the moment my husband told me that my son had texted saying somebody was shooting in the school at first my husband thought it was a joke it wasn't until I got online to a local Oxford mom Facebook group and confirmed my worst fear and what my son texted this is when my worst nightmare started and I called him immediately to make sure he was okay the words he spoke when he answered will haunt me for the rest of my life I asked him if he was okay he said mom, had I been standing where I was 10 seconds longer I could have been me my heart sank I was grateful he was locked down I told him to stay calm and I would be in touch I had to get ahold of Madison I texted her no response called her, no answer called my son back to see if he knew where she was he said he would try to get ahold of her I told him her phone just rang and rang he blamed it on her phone battery always being dead I told him this was different as the phone was ringing and not just going straight to voicemail Madison is my niece and goddaughter so making sure she was okay was a priority for me she and my son were finally in the same school they rode to and from school every day so I needed to make sure she was okay the relationship they were forming was more of a brother-sister relationship rather than cousins I had this growing up and I loved that they were able to experience this a little backstory with Madison is I was in the hospital the day she was born I witnessed her taking her first breath she was not only my niece goddaughter but felt more like a daughter to me the thought of anything happening to her made me sick to my stomach it was not until hours later that we were informed of what happened to her once my son was finally evacuated from that school it seemed like an eternity but finally was able to hug him I took him out of Meyer into the car with my husband he told me that what the officers told him as they were leaving room 256 they said not to look down if you did not want to be traumatized as there was a body outside the door he said there was blood on his shoes I could not visibly see it due to them being all black we were not leaving until we knew Madison was safe we were all over that store just trying to get a clue we were told to keep watching for the buses coming from the high school little did we know my son's bus was the last to arrive however once most of the store was clear they called three families names Madison, Tate, and Hannah we were led into a very small office as if we were sub-deans in a tin can the officer just came right out to say we have three students they are deceased in that moment my whole world stopped I heard the words and froze as if the world was spinning and I was standing still then came the cries and screaming from Madison's parents a father of another student punched through the clock on the wall and continued to punch all the way down the wall until he was on the floor I knew I was needed to try to comfort where I could and disbelief that this was in fact I had to then make phone calls to let people know as we had so many people looking for Madison those were the worst phone calls I've ever had to make my husband was in the parking lot in my car he just screamed and started punching the dashboard that is how my kids found out that their cousins killed that day both came into my yard to confirm I was not lying the look on their faces was just devastating walking slowly this is red and tears streaming down my faces I say all of this to paint a picture of the nightmare of this 15 year old cause on November 30th of 2021 I had a freshman, Mason starting his high school journey a time where he should be enjoying the last 4 years of school before becoming an adult trying to decide what he wants to do with his life my niece, a senior that should have been doing college visits and finalizing applications to these colleges she knew what she wanted out of her life and what she was going to do once she graduated she wanted to become a behavioral analyst and to study neuroscience something she will never have the chance to do no child should ever have to experience losing a cousin, friend or daughter ever now here we are almost 2 years later and still dealing with the effects of what this person did last school year my son missed close to 60 days of school I was barely passing his classes my child was always A's and B's but last year B's and E's I'm grateful he passed but things should not be this way the thought that the defendant can get his GED disgusts me I feel he lost that privilege when he walked out of that bathroom and started shooting my son will graduate however Madison never paid matter of fact I attended a graduation and witnessed her mother and father accept her diploma on her behalf she should have walked that stage and accepted it herself her chair should have been her sitting there and now the picture of her in a basket of flowers Madison was one amazing human being she is one that people should take after and aim to be like she was artistic, funny, caring, compassionate, driven and overall just great she was a large piece of our family puzzle now that she is gone and broken there are no longer family get-togethers for Christmas and very rarely for birthdays there is a crater-sized hole in the family the fact that she was killed 15 feet from the door my son was behind that day cups me every time I often think what if what if she would have ran and got behind door 256 with Madison what if she ran out the doors to the outside that were mere feet where she was found would the outcome have been different something we will never know my son walked by a body that day and I hoped for so long it was not Madison since only her and Hannah were the only ones that died in that hallway that day it was not until months later we found out it was not her and if that Hannah does not make the situation any less traumatic or sad as no child or anyone for that matter should have to be subjected to seeing this months later I found out the whole truth of what happened that day to Madison she happened around the corner at the same time the defendant emerged from the bathroom shooting she ended up 15 feet roughly from where my son was had he been evacuated the opposite way he would have lucked past her and not known it sadly as time passes and the defendant gets the attention in quote unquote fame he so desperately wants these four lives that were taken way too soon Madison, Tate Hannah and Dawson criminals currently get treated better than the victims the defendant needs to live in a cell for the rest of his natural born life with each breath he takes is one less than Madison gets to the fact that he is even still here makes my blood boil he took innocent lives injured innocent people terrorizing the students yet we get tablets and education religious I get it we all have rights what about Madison, Tate, Hannah and Dawson's rights right to live right to be here I cannot speak on behalf of the other three families but I know what this whole nightmare did to ours our whole world crumbled that day and we are still attempting to glue the pieces back together which they will never fit the same Madison will never get to fulfill her dreams of graduating going to college getting married having kids and just enjoying what life has to offer she was slated to do great things and please know that she would have done just that and so much more if she were still here why? because the defendant took that from her she was scared for her life cowering down covering her head I'm sure just hoping he would keep walking and let her live but no the defendant had to execute her as if she was some kind of threat to him which she was not nor would she have ever been Madison was the nicest person you would ever meet if everyone aspired to be half the person she was this world would be that much more of a happier place she was a senior as I stated before she had only been in Oxford High School for three months as she transformed from Clarkson schools she barely knew anyone she was in the wrong place at the wrong time which gives the defendant no right to execute a scared girl because he needs to quote unquote teach a lesson no right to shoot anyone for that matter he obviously missed a lot of lessons in life whether it's from his parents, peers or teachers there are a lot of people in this world that have been subjected to a less than desirable home life or set of circumstances but you do not see them out shooting up their school it seems from everything that has come out the defendant planned for months outcomes, notated response times mapped exits and openly accepted his fate of spending his life in prison so I ask you do you feel like a 15 year old now 17 that put so much time and effort into this attack deserves to ever sub out of those prison walls one day I do not care that he had lousy parents maybe his brain is not fully developed but he knows the difference between right and wrong yet he still followed through knowing the consequences most people take these less than perfect situations and turn them into opportunities the defendant chose the opposite path he stated in his journal he was ready to spend the rest of his life in prison I implore you to grant him his wish and sentence him with life without the possibility of thank you thank you thank you as it relates to your niece I appreciate it thank you people thank you if you could please not record the minor or photograph the minor have to say your name if you do not want to but of course if you wish to you can go ahead and state your name with that you may go ahead with your statement this afternoon my name is Avery Bluenstein I'm a junior at Oxford High School and today I want you to look at me I have faith that the justice system will do its job and you will never see me in person so today I want you to look at me because it will be the only chance you'll ever get to as I stand here today I'm 16 years old and I'm a junior at Oxford High School I was 14 when you shot people right outside my classroom as I think about it now I can feel the adrenaline running through my veins I was a freshman in room 256 my world history class I sat on the floor at room 256 and there was no doubt in my mind I was certain I was about to be murdered more than thinking about myself I thought about my sister who I shared a room with that night she would come home to our shared room and she would be alone would she get me sleep could she ever again and at my funeral what would they even talk about I haven't accomplished anything I was 14 I'm not done living I wouldn't be able to hug my parents goodbye as I left for college I thought I was never going to be able to get married because it was all about to end here in my history class I hoped and prayed please, when I get shot don't let it be my face my family wouldn't be able to handle it if I lost my face could my friends say goodbye if I didn't look like myself November the 30th, 2021 I was given my very own life sentence I was only 14 I'm now sent to a lifetime of PTSD I've spent hundreds of hours and I've spent all my tears on this for so long whatever punishment the shooter gets it will not be enough nothing could ever be enough you took Hannah St. Juliana she was so strong she could have lived but you stopped in your tracks and you shot her again she didn't deserve it my teachers in the beginning of November had made arrangements so I would sit with Hannah in my classes and I thought I was new to Oxford that year my teachers looked through my schedule and they looked for kids that I had a lot of classes with and Hannah was on that list and they knew her and they knew that she was kindly told my teachers to set me with her she was so talkative and friendly Tate, Justin, and Madison didn't deserve it either the only person who does is you but much worse in room 256 a boy announced while we were still in the class hiding after looking on his phone that Hannah had been shot she was supposed to be there with me the only thing I could think of was to text her I of course didn't get a reply she was supposed to be in my fifth hour class with me as I was waiting for her reply I thought this can't be real come December we'd be back sitting in history class that night I saw Hannah's face on the news she was confirmed dead Hannah had so much potential she was set to do great things in this world all that's left is her legacy I used to have Hannah on the app snapchat and there's a feature on there where you can see where your friends are it's called snap maps we open up the program and it shows where your friends are and I remember after I'd come home that day I could still see her icon on the map so I kept that hope that maybe she was fine and even after I would still see that whenever someone opened up her phone I will never have an ounce of forgiveness for you I will only learn to forgive myself because I didn't deserve this I still have faith in people I still believe that most people are good you didn't rob me of my kind heart even though I'm sure you wanted to I am ten times stronger than you will ever be you do not have any power over me after today I will live my life you will go behind bars you will have to see your face again you are a waste of space I'm not sorry to say that you're not special you don't have a divine right you're just an insecure weak fragile insecure boy who could not deal with his own problems your name will never be said now the rest of us are left with the pieces and I'm going to ask you one more time to please look at me thank you thank you thank you thank you Marcia Hudson good afternoon Marcia Hudson thank you good afternoon good afternoon I appreciate this opportunity to address the court my name is Marcia Hudson and I am the mother of four children at Oxford High School on November 30th, 2021 my daughter graduated from Oxford High School in June of 2022 and my son, a freshman during the 21-22 school year is now a junior at Oxford High School before November 30th, 2021 my daughter would always wake up with a smile on her face cheerful, confident, optimistic caring teachers often seem laughing with her friends making tic-tac videos in the hallway and basking in the glow of what was starting off to be an amazing senior year life was finally getting back to normal having just experienced a global pandemic and her outlook was bright before November 30th, 2021 she loved attending football games with her friends going to dances playing soccer, planning events and engaging in her studies life was good as it should be when you were young and full of life she was trusting of others always ready to lend a helping hand and was thrilled to be accepted into Miss Schetz's mentoring class for she truly cared about the well-being of everyone within the walls of Oxford High School she wanted to make a difference for others on the morning of November 30th she joined Tate, Kylie and the rest of the mentorship class to deliver their bully buster lessons at Oxford Middle School serving as mentors and friends to these younger students after the shooting things have changed significantly for many of us, my daughter included she still has trouble falling asleep and quite often awakens several times throughout the night loud sounds, sirens and sudden movements cause an uncontrollable reaction in her she involuntarily begins to shake she drops to the ground covering her head and begins to cry like many, many of her friends and members of our community she has been traumatized she has been formally diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression by her medical doctors it is important for me to note however that despite it all she is making her way through and out taking small steps forward every day the light is once again beginning to fill the dark spaces this is happening of course because of her tremendous strength the support she receives from her family and friends but primarily this through a lot of hard work she continues to do weekly with her therapist her father and I are tremendously proud of her she is currently a pre-med major at Michigan State University and despite everything she has endured and watched her friends endure her faith in humanity is slowly returning she is determined not to let the evil acts that she witnessed take anything more away from her as a mother trying helping to navigate not just my children's emotional and mental health but that of my own I too recognize the ways in which I have been affected by this senseless act of violence the events of November 30th 2021 have rocked the very foundation what I have known to be good and right about the world and despite the breadth and depth and breadth of emotions that I have experienced since November 30th 2021 has fundamentally changed who I am today I struggle with my emotions to this day and the thoughts, feelings and memories continue to rise up unexpectedly like I drive into the local Meyer parking lot my mind still flashes back to the day that we all raced there praying and pleading along the way I remember arriving you watching my child crying unseen running back and forth across the parking lot completely panic-stricken I remember how desperate I was to get her into the car and hold her close to hug the fear and sadness away simultaneously I think about and pray for the parents of those that also raced to Meyer so that they too could be reunited with their shaking panic-stricken children only to learn that they will never again be able to hold their child these emotions are triggered by memories there are still moments when I receive a text from my son or daughter and my heart skips a beat remembering the text I received from my daughter moments before I understood what was happening I love you mom a gun is in school and later that day when I had a number of children sitting in my TV room shaking, crying in a state of shock one with his classmates blood still on his shirt watching the news reports the increasingly disturbing tragedy unfolding before our eyes in my beloved town in real time the looks on their faces as they realized which of their friends were wounded and were killed how life as they knew it had changed forever more memories of the yellow and blue ribbons the Oxford strong signs the makeshift memorial at the high school the prayer vigils and the funerals in November 30th, 2021 four beautiful people were taken from this earth and seven others wounded through a senseless act of evil I believe that the Oxford high school shooter should remain in jail for the remainder of his life and be sentenced to life without the chance of parole the shooter who craves notoriety is not deserving to have his name included in my thoughts and so I'm intentionally omitting his name from this written statement I do however wish that his parents would have provided him with the love and care that he deserved and was begging for seemingly all his life I will never mention the shooter's name ever again instead I choose to take this opportunity to remember and honor our victims multi-talented Justin for his heroism his wit and wisdom Madison for her ability to make the world more beautiful not only by her presence but by the amazing works of art that she created Tate our forever captain Oxford superhero through his legacy of leadership our community's youth will emulate and strive to embody Tate's traits through their involvement in the incredible 42 strong Tate Mirror foundation and Hannah our beautiful flower whose memory will be honored in many ways especially through a garden that is currently being constructed in her honor we will all care for Hannah's garden we will visit and remember and bask in both its beauty and her memory their legacies, their beauty their love of life and the gifts they bestowed to others we will remember you Tate Mirror Hannah St. Juliana Madison Baldwin and Justin Schilling forevermore love wins Madeline Johnson good afternoon Madeline Johnson thank you my name is Madeline Johnson I'm here today to speak on behalf of myself my family and my best friend Madison Baldwin I was a senior at Oxford High School when the shooting happened and I would like to start this off by sharing the shirt I'm wearing Madison used to draw me doodles on gum wrappers and I'd keep them one day she gifted me the one on the front of my shirt and she said that it was the two of us as dinosaurs best friends even in the prehistoric times this is one of the only things I have left to remember her by this is the back November 30th two years ago Maddie and I were coming to the 6th class that we had together and we were walking down the 200 hallway I had a lot of time to get to my next class so I figured I would walk Maddie to her 5th hour class sociology once we near the end of the hallway we realized that the shortcut she usually took the courtyard was close for the season I've since heard that the courtyards were not closed that day but we both seemed to think that they were we had to take the long route instead the one that curved around the school little did we know we were walking straight towards the gunman since neither of us had intended on taking the long route I realized that I was going to be late for class so I said goodbye to her and turned around and started walking the other way I didn't think that goodbye was going to be permanent I thought it was goodbye for an hour and I'll see you next class as soon as I started walking the other direction I heard the first round of bullets the pattern of them so blaze in my head every single day for a moment just a fraction of a second everything went quiet or at least it did for me I looked around the hallway and saw looks of horror on the faces of teachers and other students their faces were frozen in my mind I didn't see Madison I couldn't see where she went after that fraction of a second pass it sunk in for everyone in the hallway and it was chaos people were screaming, running, pushing and shoving doors were being slammed shut as kids desperately tried to make it to the classroom and more gunshots rang in my ears I wasn't in control of my own body anymore and I couldn't feel any of my limbs my hearing went out sort of like when you're underwater and people above you are talking my vision went blurry and I didn't even realize that I was running as fast as I possibly could at the other end of the 200 hallway I later recall that I passed so many exits, so many side doors but during those few minutes of hell in the hallway all I could do was run forward I found out that Madison died a few hours later from a photo on somebody's Snapchat story I didn't believe it until multiple other people confirmed it for me even then for months I still didn't really believe it the moment it really sank in it was gone forever was the day we had to go back to the high school I sat in my ceramics class our ceramics class our favorite class and I watched the students pour through the door and I waited for her to come sit at her seat right next to me and I waited and waited and I finally realized that she was never coming for a long time I blamed myself I should have continued to walk her to class because maybe things would be different the doors were being locked on us because if we'd taken the shortcut she would still be here but now I realize where the blade of truth lies and it lies to that monster sitting over there who can't even look at me my life has been nothing short of a complete total mess for the past two years I can't trust anybody anymore I don't make friends I can barely keep my current friends because I can't let anyone get close to me anymore I can hardly attend my college classes I can't go into rooms that only have one door I can barely go to concerts malls and other crowded places I can't fall asleep without waking up in a panic from nightmares in the only place I truly feel safe is my bedroom I used to be a nicer person I used to be fearless I used to be a good friend but I can't be any of those things anymore because the only thing that is ever on my mind are those gunshots playing over and over again on a loop I don't enjoy things anymore but all these combined are not even nearly as painful as it is to live without my best friend I want the person who did this to know that Madison would have been your friend I want you to know that she would have treated you with nothing but kindness had you not killed her I'm not sure how much emotion you're capable of feeling but I hope you regret it and I hope it eats away at you and I hope you feel even a fraction of the loneliness that I felt over these last two years but I can't leave this courtroom today thinking that you won and I can't let you think that either you turned your pain into hatred and I turned mine into love that right there is one of the many differences between you and I you would never even know what it's like to have a friend who would do anything for you and you'll never know what it's like to be happy you took four lives you took Madison's life but you never will take away who she was she knew joy she knew love she knew laughter, happiness and friendship she had such a rich life and she truly lived it you are never going to know what it's like to be loved and that is why I win because of what you did, you are alone you are completely and totally alone for the rest of your life there are no punishments in this world that could ever make up for what he took from us not even a million life sentences could begin to serve justice one life sentence one life sentence without the possibility of parole if that is the best closure we are ever going to get then that is the only viable option any lesser sentence or any possibility of parole would be a slap in the face to everyone who is here today giving a mass murderer a second chance at life after he took four lives injured seven people and traumatized students like myself is unthinkable thank you and please take this into consideration that you are speaking this afternoon thank you just read the minor next as well thank you as you are a minor you don't have to say your name on the record if you do not want to but of course if you want to you may go ahead and state your name with that you may go ahead and proceed with your statement this afternoon thank you your honor hello your honor, I'm a survivor my name is Addison Kloss I was an Oxford high school freshman when this tragedy occurred on November 30th I was living my childhood out doing what I loved and being oblivious to the world around me and all its bad things before this day I have never seen or heard a gun in person or violence around me my life was basically perfect all of that went away fast a week before Thanksgiving there was a fret of a shooting it was false but I seen the bandit in the hallway and I had a bad feeling about him that he was dangerous the week we got back from Thanksgiving break the next thing I knew I was in my biology class nervous for our test I was going to use the bathroom before the test but thank god I got caught up talking with my friends all of a sudden in the middle of our conversation I heard free bangs at the first I thought it was a fight on the fourth when I recognized it was gunshots and about four more followed me and my friend were near the door and we hugged each other tight and ran to the corner when we reached the corner we kneeled down hugging each other for dear life it felt like slow motion while our teacher was closing the door I was thinking he was going to get into the room once the door was closed I heard a few more shots I noticed my phone was on still in my chest across the room and all I wanted was contact with my mom that made me feel hopeless it got me thinking I'm never going to see my family or parents again that made my heart sink my life was flashing before my eyes I started crying I wanted my mom luckily my friend had her phone and I was able to tell my mom I loved her an hour of an hour of horror went by me and my classmates were crying and worried for our lives and our friends' lives we were trying for our friends were okay finally a police officer came into to rescue us at that moment I thought this all was a bad dream when we finally came outside the cool breeze hit my face following the officer out to get searched after I was searched I called my grandma because my parents were at work and I thought they would not be able to come pick me up for some reason when I heard my grandma's voice I broke down crying because I thought I would never hear her voice again she reassured me then we got on the bus to Meyer to reunite with our family on the bus my other grandma called me and told me my mom was on her way to Meyer and she was offering her support at Meyer I was finally able to be back in my mom's warm arms as we hugged more tightly than ever before and my dad greeted me with the biggest hug he has ever given me he usually is an emotional person the rest of the night was full of grief the after effects on me was I could not sleep alone for weeks after this tragedy I slept in my parents room for the first week and I don't usually sleep my dog my dog had to sleep with me I also now always tell my family and my friends I love them because I am scared of losing them I also still get nervous in crowded spaces because I am scared I would not be able to escape but all I am sensitive to is loud noises because it reminds me of that day there has also been many more effects on me but this has also impacted my family and my peers my mom sometimes still cries when she is talking about that day she was traumatized she didn't know if I was okay or make it out alive and my 7 year old cousin asked me after if it would happen to her too and it really broke my heart because a child should not have to worry about that because she is a little kid and no one should ever have to worry about that this also impacted the parents who lost their babies that were dear to their heart just breaks for them these kids who lost their lives are the most incredible human beings to ever walk this earth they all had impacts on their community members Hannah, Tay, Madison, and Justin were kind beyond words positive and most importantly care for their peers in our community there are some more meaningful traits about them that I admire also the other 7 who survived are also in possession of the same traits and are strong beyond words so your honor I am asking you to give this defendant or should I say monster life in prison without the possibility of parole and a maximum security prison because this monster should never be free again and suffer because he took the life of Hannah, Tay, Justin, and Madison and injured 7 others and also impacted another 2,000 people traumatizing them all for life why should he walk free while we are suffering the trauma he put on us thank you thank you for your statements this afternoon another minor question we'll keep the recording down thank you too go ahead and proceed with your statement this afternoon my name is Sylvia Lester by my understanding a victim impact statement shares the story of how a crime has affected oneself I feel compelled to share my own story I never understood or grasped the truly devastating reality of losing someone you love I still haven't grasped the concept to be completely honest the only coherent words that came out of my mouth when I received the phone call that my beautiful best friend 14 year old Hannah St. Juliana had been shot to death were oh my god I thought her sister was lying to me on the phone for there was no way why Hannah had been brewed to kill in their school hallway mere minutes after I left her to head my 5th hour class after being placed a lockdown I hid in the corner of my dark and English classroom oblivious to the true carnage happening just across the courtyard from me I can still feel the echoes of class night's hand clenched tightly in my own interlocked fingers I can hear my blood rushing through my ears as I waited to experience the ring of a gunshot that would have in my life I can no longer walk down the street without thinking someone is waiting to kill me for me the sound of sirens automatically alerts my brain to another school shooting to the same irrational call that will inevitably be following informing me of the person I love is gone to the imagined portrayal of Hannah bleeding out on the floor of our history hallway this image will forever be stamped on the forefront of my mind there are people that I now truly hate in this world these types of people in some way take something from another speaking they are thieves though ironically most thieves could return what they took if only they had the fortitude to do it this thief, you a murderer can't give me back what you stole you stole my best friend you stole my carefree laughter you stole my Christmases you stole my Tuesdays you stole my new years you stole my Friday night football games you stole Hannah's 15th birthday you stole Hannah's 16th birthday you have stolen every single one of her birthdays you stole my 16th birthday along with my 17th and everyone following it you stole my ability to live life without the crushing fear of being killed at any given moment you stole my love of school you stole the love I had for the naivety and people you stole my trust in the innocuous people on the sidewalk you stole the comfort of my room by leaving me petrified of the dark and the horrors that may be lurking in it waiting for me to lie down my guard once again you stole my dreams and turned them into recurring nightmares where my best friend bleeds out on the floor of our school you made me into someone that I never would have recognized a 15 you took the girl that I was tore her to shreds and left her to find a way to stuff her through every single day without the presence and loving friendship upon a St. Juliana it was asked in the miller hearing if it was traumatizing to lose your best friend you don't need an expert to tell you you need only ask me as was most likely predicted the answer to that question is a resounding yes traumatized me because I thought Hannah would forever change her jewelry because I never thought I would have to be the one who would speak at a funeral right after during the young age of 15 I never thought I would look at my best friend's emotionless 14 year old face in a casket I never thought there would be a bed of flowers cushioning Hannah's lifeless body as a freshman in high school I never thought there would be the sound of bagpipes I never thought there would be a week when Hannah didn't have a new nail color the reasons are endless twice traumatizing to lose a best friend I thought we were allowed to be innocent as children I never could have vathomed I would blame myself for the death of my best friend I never could have imagined a day where I would have to blame myself to try and give a reason as to why she died to why you decided to take her life I never could have conceived the idea that at 15 I would feel as if my best friend's blood was on my hands all due to the reality that I left her in a hallway because I didn't want to be late to class I've convinced myself that if only we would have gone to the bathroom Hannah's life would have been spared and my happiness would be intact we didn't get to be children for very long for these aren't the thoughts these aren't the thoughts any innocent child should mull over the day Hannah was killed you left the shell of 15 year old me crying and shattered on a hardwood floor in the fetal position in case to my own arms what tear tracks will forever be tattooed on my face as well as my heart to this day I'm convinced I'm still lying on that hardwood floor rejecting the actuality that I live while Hannah doesn't you left Hannah St. Juliana my best friend my person lying dead on the floor in a pool of her own blood on November 30th on November 30th you terrorized 1,800 students and teachers you shot six offenseless students and one teacher and ultimately you killed Madison Baldwin Justin Schilling Tate Muir and Hannah St. Juliana you should never, ever get the opportunity to steal from anyone else ever again in your entire life you shouldn't have stolen from me I shouldn't have to remember Hannah for longer than I knew her Hannah's last words to me in the middle of the school hallway arms linked held till the together were I'll call you later thank you thank you for being here for your statements this afternoon very sorry for your loss of your claim thank you for your statements yes council approach before the next individual please remove your hat thank you with that people the next individual minor thank you and good afternoon could you state your name for the record Jace McCarthy to explain how I was affected I would have to tell you that I feel like my mind is stuck in a Myra parking lot which sounds silly for most kids in Oxford the Myra parking lot was viewed as a hangout spot a place you would go to sit in a parking lot wasting gas and talking about gossip or life problems strolling down aisles for hours trying to waste time before curfew but most days I'm stuck in a Myra parking lot a parking lot filled with my peers hugging each other cameras everywhere with reporters shoving microphones asking questions we couldn't comprehend at the time with police sirens flooding the streets in my senses and helicopters flying overhead I am still there I can feel the concrete underneath my feet the cold harsh winds still greets my face even in the warmest July heat I am still as the world spins and my hindsight becomes very hazy I was coked into a state of shock for a long time some days I miss it the feeling the unknown before it was real when I was whole people started to come out and tell the world that they lost a piece of themselves that day or they were looking for the person they were before the shooting I didn't think I was a part of that group maybe I was taking it too literally or maybe I wasn't aware enough to realize I think for a long time I was walking around fractured and not knowing it I didn't know when I lost that part of me I still don't was it when I saw a cop car after cop car from everywhere in the state was it before I saw three confirmed dead on the TV was it when I saw post after post a Madison senior photo being used as a makeshift missing poster was it when the world stopped my older brother came home a little after I did he sobbed into my mother's arms I can't remember a time he cried before that I sat in a kitchen chair confused unsure what to do so I left and walked to my room unfortunately the walls weren't thick enough to prepare me for the words that came out of his mouth next Nate's brother was shot he was shot in the head mom I didn't know what to think I didn't know what to think I didn't think I was hearing his words correctly I was mixing up kids in my grade scrambling for a name that I was clearly blanking out on I remember saying blankly at my phone hoping that it would somehow tell me magically what to do no one tells you how to comfort someone after receiving news like that so I stayed hidden in my room Justin Schilling someone my brother has known for years the number on the TV screen felt more like a cruel weight that suffocated me the number on the screen was real nothing screams real like a gurney outside the exit of your old chemistry class I didn't sleep that night I was hoping I would hear news about Justin calling friends of friends who knew something I told my mom in the early morning hours that people were saying goodbyes I didn't want to be the one to tell my older brother looking back I'm sure he knew by 9 a.m. Justin Schilling Justin Schilling was trending on social media Justin Schilling is dead I went to vigils out of nonstop guilt I kept every candle they've been collecting dust in a senior memory box I made two weeks before my senior year with high hopes that would hold things like good grades and grad cards turned into a grave site of everything that embodies the 30th from coping cards to Oxford strong mementos I sell wax on my shoes that I don't have the heart to clean it's strange that I view that as a better time about having to cope with the grief or loss because it hadn't hit me yet depending on the day I'm aware enough to know that that wasn't a better time a better time was not having to walk where kids bled out and died a better time was not knowing the kid who sat on my homecoming table or the fact that two months later he was going to school with a gun with the full intent on using it a better time was not worrying was worrying about how I was going to pass my math class and not how fast I could put it at night lock I haven't been able to go to college out of fear that I'll go through another school shooting I've watched friends drop out every day I fear for my siblings who are still in school I fear for my friends I whisper about a campus threat I find myself praying, begging whoever's up there that my friends are safe I can't bring myself to even think about the worst scenario I don't know if I could go to another visual I don't know if I could go through it all over again I hate cameras flashing the sound of cameras clicking gives me the sense of unease you never really get told the after it's not just one thing it's many no one tells you the after the only way you know is when you go through it my friends and I's grief will forever be our faces on the front page above the fold or trending on some news network our tears will forever be ingrained in film the worst day of our lives will forever be attached to our names and to our faces one quick search shows us that our absolute lowest and most vulnerable and no matter how far I run no matter where I go I can never escape the everlasting fear that the 30th hasn't stilled in me I do not get to move on every day I'm reminded of the 30th each time I feel my hair get blonder I hear myself repeat 151 days of frustration in the back of my mind I hear voices of people I haven't spoke to in ages I hear cameras clicking and I feel the weight of my brother's cries washing over me for the first time all over again I'm a senior in high school again I find myself unable to move on I find myself back where I was in the Mara parking lot with the wind and the sirens and maybe if I could find that kid with bleached hair and torn up vans wearing a coat that wasn't his maybe wondering if you would have rehearsal afterwards maybe I could find forgiveness I'm a senior in high school I chase after him most days I see him across the street or down the hall he haunts me a constant reminder that I will never be the same that death and trauma isn't something that can be scrubbed away no matter how hard I may try my words will never be able to paint a perfect picture or make an outsider truly understand the haze the world turned into in that Mara parking lot a haze that somehow turned into hours within a blink and then it was days which somehow turned into months and when I woke up from it all and guilt that will forever ache my bones and taint the air I breathe it's more of a person, a friend something that knows my ins and outs and I'm sure I'll be holding its hand for a very long time it'll greet me when I least expect it in the years to come it waits on the edge of my bed every morning and tucks me in at night it falls me around always looking over my shoulder it's the voice that tells me to check my exits follow the rule of three three exits, three hiding spots three things I can use to defend myself that open spaces aren't safe and that places means it's life or death and I need to run that backpacks don't just hold books but leave the weapons that someone is just itching to use it tells me I will never be safe it makes me second guess when I hear sirens I can never tell if they're real if my room gets quiet enough I can hear them they're more than a far than a familiar sound yet when my body hears emergency vehicles I can't help but tense up if I can't sleep at night it crawls into my bed beside me or what I'll do who I'll call, what I'll say if it happens again and as the 30th approached closer I find myself in sleepless nights the cold air gets harder to breathe the weight on my chest becomes ever more present and I'm looking over my shoulder every small noise becomes a mental game of am I safe even the crunchy snow becomes a cruel reminder passing by the school around this time of year gets harder because when there's no cars my mind convinces itself that I'm on break I have to look in the mirror and I have a hard time seeing the person who's looking back at me because sometimes time isn't linear to me I expect to see the person I was I have a hard time to remind myself that I haven't been 18 for a minute that I'm not playing Nancy Drew over Dearhead conspiracies and I'm not skipping my online class for the 80th time that semester or I'm not going to walk into 5th hour and listen to the girl next to me talk about her teacher that I am 20, that the world moves on and I just didn't know it would move on without me that's mostly in my mind or in my head time is a very strange thing some days the 30th doesn't feel real it feels like it was decades ago and others are right back in it I don't know why pain and trauma are like this I don't know why it tends to rush me or corners me I don't know why I act like I have places to be I ask myself a lot why is the weight on my shoulders why is the guilt of surviving on my door step and why is it pounding on my door often I wake up and the first thing I do is pull myself together by myself trying to scream my way out of nightmares it's become my go-to method of waking myself up it gets my mind to the real world people who have never gone through something like this will view this as closure and ending, moving on when sensing the scene is over I don't get to move on, that weight and guilt doesn't dissipate over me this trauma this traumatic event has changed me indefinitely and there's never going to be an undo button I will never hear the chance of Sean talk about Justin the present tense again I will never hear friends talk about future plans with Hannah or Tate, only what ifs and promises never seem through we never get to wake up and move on with the loss it lives with us and appears with us in least expected ways and that is something the shooter will never have to endure he will never have to go through what he made us go through on the 30th and for as long as I have to carry on with the weight of his actions I believe he should too so maybe I'll forever be in that Meyer parking lot the guilt and grief being more familiar than the back of my hand and maybe I'll forever be chasing the idea of who I was that day the looming fear of never getting better healing will always dangle over my head but just like the what ifs and nightmares I know for as long as I live I will pray and I will hope that there is a shadow of incarceration and karma haunting him for the rest of his life thank you with that we're going to go ahead and we're going to break for lunch we're going to break very briefly I do want to attempt to get this hearing done today and so we're going to break and we'll return to court at 1.30pm with that to the individuals that are in the gallery please be seated until the defendant has exited the courtroom with that deputy should we take the defendant