 Erica Costell just released her new song, Dynamite, and it might show us that she wants to get back with her ex, Jake Paul. So in this video, we're going to talk about why you never get back with an ex as well as how to deal with a breakup. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community, try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. And part of mental and emotional well-being is relationships. So if you struggle in that area, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. But yeah, before I get started, make sure that you go follow me on Instagram. We are trying to get to 10,000 followers and make sure you have notifications turned on because I am going to start doing giveaways over on Instagram. I'm going to be giving away Rewired Soul merch. I'm going to be giving away mental health books. I don't know. I'll give away all sorts of stuff. Just go follow me over on Instagram so I can get that stupid swipe up feature. All right. Follow me at the Rewired Soul. Yeah. So anyways, those of you who are like me and you don't follow Erica Costell or Jake Paul, here's a little recap to the best of my knowledge. Like most of you, I was introduced to Erica Costell and Jake Paul through Shane Dawson series inside the mind of Jake Paul. They were together shortly after the series. They broke up. There was a lot of allegations that came out afterwards that Jake Paul was cheating on Erica, but wasn't all too surprising because apparently he was cheating on Alyssa Violet as well and all that. But anyways, recently Erica Costell just released her new song Dynamite and I actually found out about it by watching Bionic Pig and I was watching and like when he was breaking down the lyrics and he was saying, there's a little bit awkward. I'm like, oh, but just the more and more I watched this video, the more awkward I feel because like it broke up a while ago. This is just like, this is like what a, what an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend would make in their room and then stare at and cry because they missed that person. It's like one of those Facebook slideshows, like you have all those videos and pictures of someone and then it's like, I want to make a slide show with this person and just put sad music over it while you're just playing back your past pictures. I loved, I loved him. He was my lover. And that's what I'm seeing here and it's just awkward, right? So anyways, Erica Costell apparently wrote this song while she was still with Jake and yeah, the music video is a little bit. So we have to ask, is she trying to get back with Jake Paul? Answer is, I don't know, but this is a great time to talk about breakups and relationships and all of that. I know a lot of you are single or hopefully not. Some of you might be single in the near future or whatever it is. Some of you have watched my videos and told me that you realize that you're in a toxic relationship and you need to get out. So I hope this video brings you some comfort or anybody who's been through a breakup or is, you know, I don't know, just still mourning the loss of, you know, the person that you were with for any length of time. All right. First thing I want to talk about, the first thing I want to talk about is you valuing and respecting your feelings. All right. Like there's this weird thing. There's this weird thing. And I've been through it too in previous breakups. Like there's, we, we don't want to be sad, right? And obviously we don't want to be sad. It's a feeling that I know that emotion that we don't like to have, right? But you guys, like to not feel sad after a breakup with somebody you love is to completely discredit the entire idea of love and to not honor that idea of love. And you are not honoring the love that you felt for somebody. All right. Love is one of the most powerful emotions. So like you have to understand you're going to be sad. It's going to suck. And that's totally okay. Like it's supposed to hurt. This is similar to grief and loss. Like when you lose a loved one, like this is going to happen. So do what you have to do. Cry. Cry your fricking face off. Cry all day long. Stay in bed. Cry. Don't do it for too long. Get support. Have, you know, get into the solution. I have some videos on getting out of the pity party. But like it's just whenever I talk to a friend or somebody who has gone through a breakup, like they hate how it feels. But like this is one of the reasons why I keep preaching meditation and mindfulness to you. It helps you just learn how to embrace those feelings. Because those feelings are completely normal and completely natural. You're supposed to feel like crap after a breakup. It is hard. All right, now, now. I don't know if Erica Costell is trying to get back with Jake Paul. But now we're going to talk about why you never get back with an ex, okay? Like here's the thing. I see so many people do it. And why am I going to skirt around this? I am that person. I am that person who for most of my life, I got back with exes and it never worked. So the best way I can explain this to you. I did a video on this a long time ago before most of you found me. I did a video on a philosophy my friend Tommy, which is the spoiled milk philosophy, all right? One time when I was trying to get back with an ex, he told me, don't do that. He said, getting back with an ex is like drinking spoiled milk. All right, here's what he said. Here's the way he explained it. I'm like, oh my God, you are right. So imagine going to your fridge, taking some milk out of the fridge, drinking it, and spitting it out and being like, oh my God, this is spoiled. And then you take that milk and you put it back in the fridge. And you come back days later, weeks later, a month later, a year later. And you take it back out of the fridge and you drink it thinking it's going to taste good now. Like, think about that insanity. That is what you are doing when you are going back to an ex. Now, I know there's going to be some people in the comments who are like, I got back with an ex and we're still together and da da da. You are an exception to the rule. Most people, most people going back to an ex, you find that this person is still the exact same. Like, I know a lot of you like, man, if you're here on this channel, like most likely you have been in a crappy relationship. And something I try to talk about a lot, even though most of you on my channel and watching my videos, you're trying to change, you're trying to grow. A lot of people don't do that, all right? Like, I hate to say it. Like, you are one of the few and that's why you should be proud of yourself for even addressing your mental health issues. Like, we sit around in crappy relationships for so long, thinking that another person's going to change. Or we get back with somebody thinking they're going to change. I'll tell you a real quick story. At the end of my drug addiction, I started seeing this young woman. And I was a hot mess. I was hitting rock bottom of my drug addiction and alcoholism. But our entire relationship was insane. It was pure insanity because I used to like to date chaotic women, right? Well, after I got sober and moved back to Las Vegas, I got the bright idea that I should date her again. Because clearly it was my fault because I was a drug addict and alcoholic. No, we started dating again and everything was awful, all the same. And frankly, it made me want to start drinking and using again because that's how hectic it was. And this is only one of many times that I have tested this theory. Like after my friend told me about the spoiled milk philosophy, I didn't listen. I didn't listen. That's why I'm not too hard on you. I know I can give you advice all day long, but you're going to do a lot of the things even though I tell you not to do it. But the best thing that we can do is learn from our own experiences, all right? Like, I don't see life as wins and losses anymore. I see them as you either win or you learn something, all right? So just keep that in mind. Especially if you were in a relationship with somebody who is verbally or emotionally abusive, especially physically abusive, do not go back to that person thinking that they have changed. Until that person has gone through therapy, extensive therapy, to figure out why they can't control themselves, why they try to degrade you, why they try to talk down to you, why they try to belittle you. Until they work on that, don't expect them to just sit around at their house and magically get a epiphany one day. Like, oh my God, now I realize why I was a crappy person. No, one of the reasons why I make this channel, make these videos is to try to teach people how to work on their mental health. Like, working on your mental health is not a passive activity, it takes action. So don't go back to an ex thinking that they just magically got better all of a sudden. One of the best pieces of advice that I could recommend is to just stay single for a while, all right? Like, so many of us, so many of us, let me know down in the comments below if you can relate to this. So many of us hate being alone. Being alone is like physically painful, all right? Now, this is so hard, but I stayed single for a year and a half, all right? Because I knew, I knew that I had to work on myself. So many of us, to be honest, if you start reflecting or you go through therapy, you realize the reason why you feel the need to be with somebody else is because you don't love yourself. You don't love yourself and you have this void, you have this whole inside of you, right? And you're trying to find somebody to fill that void, right? So we get this idea that if we don't love ourselves, if I can get somebody else to love me, this then means I'm lovable. You see what I mean? And the problem is, is that we start lowering our bar, right? Oh, they show me attention, right? Oh, they bought me something. Oh, they didn't do something my terrible-ized boyfriend did. Like, this is the thing, you guys, like you gotta increase your standards. When you learn how to be comfortable being alone and being single, you will be amazed. You will be amazed at where your standards are. And that insane standard is just like somebody who's honest, right? Someone who respects you. Someone who respects your interests and your hobbies. Someone who is respectful to your family, right? Cause so many times we're like, okay, they're kind of nice over here, but they don't get along with my family or they're kind of a jerk-o. I can deal with that. And we go into this relationship thinking that we'll fix them or they'll change. And then you get stuck in a relationship. I did a video about Trisha Paytas and Jason Nash and I asked you guys a question. I asked you guys a question. I said, how many of you have sat in a relationship far too long waiting for somebody to change, all right? So when you stay single like I did, you're going to find somebody much, much better for you. And remember this too, something that I can't emphasize enough is if you're sitting in a bad relationship right now, every day, every hour, every minute that you're spending with somebody who you know it's not gonna work out with, like you are neglecting yourself of an opportunity to meet somebody who will love and value you the way that you deserve to be valued, all right? I know breakups are hard. I know it's hard to end things, but you gotta get out of that relationship. You know what I'm saying? There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I was single for a very long time before I met Tristan. Tristan was single for a very long time before she met me. And had we lowered our standards and just started dating any opportunity that we had out there, we would have never met each other. We've been together for over two years now and this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in because I took that time of being single to learn how to love myself. I no longer need somebody else to make me feel good enough, all right? I know that's easier said than done, but it takes work. It takes time. Start practicing this. I'm going to be making videos about mental health, New Year's resolutions. I'm gonna talk more about being nicer and kinder and loving yourself, all right? So you don't have to keep getting into these crappy relationships. So anyways, the moral of the story is don't get back with your ex, learn to love yourself, all right? But if you can relate to anything I talked about in this video, whether it's dating an ex, you can tell me how that went or your inability to stay single, let me know down in the comments because I guarantee you're not alone. And remember, go follow me on Instagram because I'm gonna be doing giveaways, baby, at the rewired soul, all right? So anyways, thanks so much for watching and a huge, huge, huge thank you to everybody who is supporting the channel over on Patreon, you are all amazing. And make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton, a ton of videos, all right? But thanks again, and I'll see you next time.