 But today we're in chapter 6 and what we're going to be looking at here in song of Solomon is subject building a love that lasts and we've been going through the song of Solomon and so we've arrived at chapter 6 allow me to read verse 1 to you and Give some introductory remarks and we'll get into our study song song of Solomon chapter 6 verse 1 These are words spoken of Spoken by those who are referred to as the daughters of Jerusalem and We read in song of Solomon chapter 6 verse 1. Where has your beloved gone? O'Farist among women Where has your beloved turned aside that we may seek him? with you as We've been going through song of Solomon as you know those of you who've been journeying through this book with me We began by really looking at it from the aspect of Even from a dating Perspective not that that was its context because as we know there was really no system of dating during the time of the song The writing of the song of Solomon There were contractual marriages that used to take place at that time into the life of Jesus Christ so they didn't really have what we today would call dating But I wanted to look at it from certain aspects to help us with those relationships that we have in the 21st century And so we've looked at aspects of dating. We saw the engagement. We saw the wedding We saw the honeymoon and we were looking last time we were together at their first Conflict and that's what we've been seeing here in the song of Solomon Last time we were together. We saw that Solomon and his new bride have had a conflict They've had a disagreement and the disagreement really related to Solomon's desire for physical intimacy He had come to her apparently early in the morning or at a time when the dew is upon him So it's more than likely early in the morning and yet He said to her open your door so that I might Enter in and and it was obviously a request that he might come in and be with her in a physical way And and she basically had said to him no I have a headache. You're not coming in And so there was a conflict that took place between the shulamite and her beloved Solomon and and as that had taken place He was rejected, but he left a token that he was there He left some some liquid myrrh on the handle of the door so that when she had second thoughts and opened the door She felt that myrrh on the door latch and was able to smell the aroma of his cologne If you will and it caused her to think about what had just taken place you see he had approached her But she had rejected him He wanted physical intimacy and she wasn't in the mood and and in Relationships you have at least three basic things that that are sources of pleasure as well as conflict. You have the Area that relates to physical intimacy. You have the the area that relates to communication and I'm having one of those moments where I forgot the third, but I'll remember later on Finances you'll have trouble with your finances so finances communication and sexual intimacy are normally three of the things that at every married couple Has to work through in this particular case what we have is as a conflict as it related to intimacy He had wanted to approach her. She had refused him. He was rejected and he had left He walked away, but after he walked away the bride felt remorse and that's why she had gone to the door to let him in Only finding the the token that he had left behind that liquid myrrh that liquid myrrh was there to remind her of him And that touched her heart So she began searching for him and she was unable to find him And she felt terrible she felt terrible about what had happened and that normally again is what happens when somebody has a conflict with somebody else they have that initial time of the problem and Then when they have a cooling off period Often their their conscience strikes them and they begin to feel bad about what has happened and that's what's taken place with her She now again has that perspective a loving perspective for her husband, but now that she has it. What is she supposed to do? She senses that she really was the one in the wrong So what she wants to do is reconcile and she reaches out and and that's why the daughters of Jerusalem are saying where has your beloved turn Decide that we may seek him with you She desires to find him so that they can patch up this difference this change of heart Has been the result of her considering just how important he is to her and she speaks concerning that she she saw him as the Chief among 10,000 she refers to him as being altogether lovely. He is her her beloved and and her friend There's no one like him and so he's much too precious for her to lose That's the kind of thinking by the way that that keeps you from becoming hardened in your heart if you If you were to stop and ask yourself, what is it that you would be losing if you were to release this relationship you might very well change your mind You might lose your Your marriage you might lose your home Certainly going to lose your shared dreams and your family You'll lose your extended family you lose your kids and you have to ask yourself Why? What am I willing to trade? For what I have right right now Am I willing to lose everything that I have? For something else something different something that may at first appear to have promise of pleasing but Ultimately is going to be found to be empty and lacking Solomon wrote Concerning this kind of thing in the book of Proverbs in chapter 5 verses 8 through 12 He was writing in context concerning what would be referred to as an immoral woman there And he was actually writing a warning concerning our need to avoid Sexual involvement with with an immoral woman He gives us advice in Proverbs 5 8 through 12. He says remove your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house Lest he says you give your honor to others and your years to the cruel one Lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner and You mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed and Say how I have hated instruction and my heart despised Correction remove yourself. He said far from her Don't remove yourself Simply a short distance from her where you can still be enticed and drawn back He says get away completely It's a similar thought that you find in the New Testament book of 1st Corinthians 618 where Paul says flee sexual immorality Flee it don't have anything to do with it. Don't remain close to it. Don't yield to it Well, somebody argues and says well, why not what's wrong with a little extra on the side? What's wrong with a little sexual pleasure? Never hurt anyone. What's a big deal? Well, Solomon would argue Solomon says in verses 9 and 10 of Proverbs 5 he says lest you give your honor to others and your years to the cruel one What is he saying? Well, he's saying you'll end up spending the prime of your life working for others In our terms, he's saying your wealth goes towards lawyer fees alimony and child support You see what happens is if you start an affair with somebody you divorce your wife and marry the other woman You end up taking care of her kids You end up losing your own Well, what's the result of that? Well verse 11 says you mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed You die alone with nine regret Say you're married. You have some children You're on the job site you walk into the office there and From a male perspective you walk into the office and there's this young woman there and There's something about her that's attractive You find yourself wanting to go in more often even when it's not necessary you want to go in Even if it means just catching a glimpse of her or her looking at you and smiling and that's how it begins innocently enough You say, how are you today? How's it going? What you do this weekend you begin to visit? Before you know it you're getting a little closer to her desk. You're finding reasons to go into that room more often than you need to You begin to look at her you begin to compliment her you begin to see things about her Maybe you're attracted to her there her humor. Maybe there's a smile. Maybe there's just something about her So you begin to spend more time with her and for some reason she's not rejecting you She knows you're married. She may be married also But she's enjoying the time visiting with you and you're you're enjoying the time with her and It's innocent enough you begin to spend some time at break and you begin to say things to her like you how to grab some lunch And before you know it you're having lunch together there in the lunch room You're the woman the guy walks in he speaks to you What did you do this weekend? Oh, I didn't do much. You stayed at home. Oh really? I was bored, too He starts inferring that you were bored start saying that you're not happy He looks at you and he says oh It was Thanksgiving. What did you do in Thanksgiving? Oh, you know, I just ate so much Are you kidding me? He says you look like you've lost some weight Yeah Even though you have this big old turkey leg there in half a pie, but you feel good to hear that Did you get your hair done? That perfume that you're wearing It's nice. What's it called? And he just compliments you that new dress. Oh, no, it's some old thing I threw on for work today I have to be honest with you man. It looks brand new to me And just reeling you in and you're just yeah, somebody pays attention Somebody likes me somebody listens Somebody cares somebody shares He's real open real nice You find yourself wanting to spend some time with him Well, you've got some kids at home You've got a husband who's working hard or you've got a wife at home and you've got your babies that look up to you But you know what? You're only young once What's wrong with a little action on the side anyway doesn't hurt anybody does it? Get more and more involved. You spend your lunch time together before you know it You're finding excuses to leave the house. Maybe you have a job that allows you to leave for a weekend and before you You really realize what you're doing to the degree that you are you begin to lie and start saying I've got things to do I'm gonna be gone overnight. We've got a company thing that I have to be involved in or whatever you find ways to do that Slowly but surely you've moved into that forbidden relationship and you end up losing everything But you have children your children begin to grow up. Don't they children don't stop growing. They grow up They keep growing up they grow up without you They graduate from elementary school. It's big day for them. You're not really part of that. Are you? middle school high school They begin to date They begin relationships begin to have affairs of the heart with young women young men whatever One day they meet somebody they really like and that person and Your child decides that they're gonna get married the wedded day comes, but you're really not invited You're not really even needed if you're the father. You've got a little girl the time comes on her wedding day when those doors open up in the back of the church and that music is playing and The bride has walked down the aisle stops there in the front There's a man standing up there in the platform. He looks down and he says Who gives this woman to be married to this man and you the father on the back of the church? well the man who raised her is there in the front with her arm wrapped through his and and that man who did Did not have a biologic relationship That man looks at you the path the pastor rather looks up there at the pastor and says Her mother and I do He lifts her veil. He kisses her goodbye Hands her to the new groom and and there's a father in the back You don't think of it. I promise. I know you don't think of it when you're 25 years old when you're 30 years old And that little girl's three. You don't think of it There's no doubt that you're not thinking of it. You're too busy right now enjoying yourself with what you're getting But I promise you you will reap what you are sowing and The day will come when you're in the back of invited at all and that little girl is being handed to somebody else and That somebody else is her husband But she's being handed by somebody who raised her and you are left mourning at the end I guarantee you I've seen it. I've seen it They grow up They graduate they get married But you're not involved and often you're not even wanted You don't have a good relationship with your kids You never have a good relationship with your grandkids And some other man is called Grandpa, but not you And what do you do at the end? Well, he says in verse 12 He said you say how I have hated instruction my heart despised rip proof In other words, you end up your life with wasted Unfulfilled dreams and nothing but I wish I would haves if only I would have Will be your last words Only I would have he says Don't harden your heart. Don't go after the other woman You'll end up in misery at the end with nine regret How do we avoid that kind of trap well What was it about them that first attracted you can that be recaptured? Building a love that lasts Well, I love that last is always built on something far stronger than simple sexual attraction Many wouldn't believe this but it's it's it's it's built on things like shared values and deep friendship That's what keeps you going and those are the things that are cultivated and nurtured and those are the things that should not be neglected What drew you together in the first place? Well in some cases it may not have been a good thing It may have been you got you got high together you you drank together You just had casual sex together, but but then you got saved and You you began to build a life on something deeper You began to build a life on something solid a foundation that that doesn't move when Struggles and storms of life yet My my daughter Anna was a newlywed and I was seated together. We're having a meal Your husband is seated next to her. We're at the table and we're sharing a meal family and My daughter Anna leans towards me and she says daddy want to ask you something and I said what? She's I say is that brute hurting you You can move home. We still got a room for you, baby I said, what do you want, baby? Daddy I want to ask you a question so I teased her and She she says no dad. I'm serious. I want to ask you a question. I want to ask you What kept you and mom together? What has made your marriage what your marriage is? What is it? That's the first time my daughter who's 28 years old has ever asked a question like that 28 years And she's never said what has made your marriage a solid marriage. She's never asked that and I looked at her I said in a word Jesus Not just the name Jesus by the way I mean there are people today in the United States who say I'm Christian wife because Jesus is Lord They just say his name. No, it's it's not like that at all. No, it's Jesus Jesus Christ his teachings his power his Spirit what he wants for us. He brought us together. I said it's our shared faith and the Lord Jesus Christ That is what has kept us together is what brought us together. It's kept us together. It will keep us together That's what it is. I said your mama and I love the Lord We share our ministry your mom has ministry that she performs. I have ministry I perform We talked together about the Lord we share together the things of the Lord now There are things that have kept us together in terms of mutual likes and and a variety of things that are just essentially Part of what it means to have a relationship with somebody else But but what has kept us together? I can tell you in a word. It's the Lord Jesus Christ. It's faith in him It's serving him it's loving him because he's given to us an ability to love one another And that's what you have seen your entire life what you have seen in your lifetime It's just a man and a woman a mom and a dad who are in love with the Lord and the Lord has brought us into love with One another and that's how it works. And if you don't have that you're not gonna make it You're not gonna make it It's got to be greater than the sex. It's got to be greater than the financial things It's got to be greater than all the ego tripping You can do in the vacations that you go to in the cars that you drive and the clothes that you wear and the school that you attend The neighborhood that you live in The job that you brag about because you've got one and it's a good one How was thinking this just yesterday that that that there's not a single thing that I've ever owned that can give me Permanent joy nothing can't accept the Lord in his powerful spirit That's the only thing Because if I've got Marie I can live in a tent and I am happy because I have her and I have him That's what matters Not the nice cars and the nice shoes and nice clothes and the nice house and the nice neighborhood None of that. It's all good and thank God for the blessings that he gives to us. Amen But does that keep us together? No, never has never will What keeps us together what makes our life what it is is the Lord and you have to keep things There that's where a lot of people. I'm sorry to say are failing For them Jesus is just part of the baggage is part of what I do. He's not the core You know God said love the Lord thy God with all of your heart Not some of it and not occasionally not seasonally not once in a while not on Sunday. He said love him all of your heart all of it and Guess what as you love the Lord with everything you're able to love others with the tremendous amount of love and devotion that's how it works and So this woman here the Shulamite had rejected her husband He had come to the door. He wanted to have entrance so he could be with her. She said no, I've got a headache He leaves He leaves the fragrance there his cologne if you will on the door latch She opens the door her hand touches the latch where the ointment was and she smells and she thinks of him She says oh man, I've done wrong. I need to do something. I have to go find him and She goes to pursue him And she wants to have relationship with them How can you have a love that lasts well focus your attention on the things that created your love for one another Now in her case, she's made a decision. She's going to seek she's going to find and she's going to recover what she's rejected And so in verse 2 it says my beloved has gone to his garden To the beds of spices to feed his flock in the gardens and to gather lilies Now she knows exactly where he's going to be. This is because Solomon was a man of character Now he wasn't hiding somewhere pouting because she had rejected him and some husbands do let's face it The wife doesn't want anything to do with her right now. She doesn't want to be intimate and before you know He's sitting in the other room good. Oh, you never loved me. He wasn't doing that He wasn't hiding out somewhere punishing her where was he while he was cultivating his garden Now when it says that by the way, it says my beloved has gone to his garden to the bed of spices That says something to us about him first. He's a king and as a king. He's taking care of his kingdom He's maintaining it and second. He's a shepherd. He's taking care of his flock and third He's a servant because he's gathering fair lilies and fair lilies would be a symbol of caring for the welfare of other people And so there's something that causes this woman to trust safely in him and it's his stability It's his character and the loving care that that he has that make her trust in him And and she knows where he's going to be and that's why she in verse 3 can say I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine He feeds his flock among the lilies There's no doubt in her heart in spite of having a conflict. She's sure of his love for her They have a relationship that's going to last and she's fully confident in it He's committed to her he loves her and that's why she can fully trust she knew They can have a disagreement, but that's not going to end their whole relationship You know, there's some people who are afraid of conflicts. They think they're going to lose the person They care about if they disagree But this Shulamite has a great security Knowing that her husband is doing what he should do and he's where he's supposed to be In modern terms, she didn't have to go check his Facebook page She didn't have to begin reading secretly his emails or his text messages There are a lot of people who do that and you know it You got your phone you put it down You walk out of the room before you know it someone's picking it up looking at all the text messages Who's who's this? What number is that? That is not the way to do things if you've got some great concern that this person isn't true to you Do two things one look at your own heart and see why am I thinking this and to tell them your concern? Instead of hiding it and getting mad Listen, if I leave my my cell phone and Marie comes and picks it up She'd never look at my messages because I've got it blocked. She can't know. I'm just There's no way got a secret code. Oh, she would never do that She doesn't have to She didn't have to I Have never given her reason to have to Even feel that she has to There's nobody else just her It's like Adam and Eve when she says to him. Do you love me and he says who else? I mean there was only the two of them, right? Nobody else I can love but Marie doesn't have to Husband your wife shouldn't ever feel that she has to And and wife you should never violate that space You're breaking trust If you don't trust them You got bigger issues than who's texting him and they have to be dealt with they have to be dealt with This woman this fulamite knew exactly where her husband's going to be He's gonna be doing what he's supposed to be doing and she knew exactly where to find him And she went looking for him and knew exactly where he was She was prepared by the way as she was walking over there to make up with him Because she knew one thing she knew that they belong together no matter what and she was willing to make the effort to be at peace with him Psalm 34 verse 14 says depart from evil and do good seek peace and pursue it You see the key for reconciliation is to maintain a mutual deep desire to be at peace with one another and Sometimes a compromise to keep the peace is necessary. You don't always have to have things done your way Sometimes one of us has to abandon our rights just so that we can have peace. It's called turning the other cheek and Sometimes we have to simply put the relationship in front of our personal desire The fact is us is Better than me. I want to be us not me When I got married to Marie it became an us When you speak of the Rosales is you're speaking about us because we belong together the two became one flesh That doesn't mean that she doesn't have her own ideas and likes and that I don't retain my own personality We we just have the two becoming the one we work together. Well For me, it's always been a matter of that that that's one of the things that have kept us together I don't want it to be a me thing. I don't take my own vacations. I don't have my own bank account. I Don't do those kinds of things are there are people who do oh, you know, we have our own vacations We have our own accounts. We have our own sets of friends. We have our nights out. He goes out then I go out there We don't do that never have never will Because it's us It's us We got married because we like each other we got married because we love each other We got married because we want to be together not so that I could go out with the boys on a Tuesday And she goes out with the girls on a Thursday, or we're gonna go to Vegas for a weekend We don't do that kind of thing never have never will why because us is better than me Because the us is better than me when it comes to choices. I choose us I've chosen us and that's how it works. Is that mentality? Is she free to do what she wants? Absolutely. Does she want to do those things? No, why because she wants to be with me. I Am free to do whatever I want. She actually tells me there are things honey if you want to do I say I do what I want But what I want is I want to be with you. That's what I want and that's how it's worked for us for all these years There's that knowledge. I am my beloveds and he is mine We're committed to one another Now sometimes people have conflicts. There's sources of conflict. You have them when you're dating There are things that have to be worked out There are things you have to ask you have to find out who's who's gonna lead the home? And how do you define what leadership is? If you get married where you're gonna live Are you disciplined with money or is it something that you like to spend and you don't save? Who's going to be in charge of paying the bills? Do you have anybody who's going to be on in charge? Are you going to ever have a budget? Are both of you going to work or are you going to want to make it on one income? Are you going to have children and how many would you like to have? A better question is why? Why ruin a good thing? But when Marie and I were dating we knew we were gonna have kids She comes from a family of six. I come from a family of four. I knew we'd have more than two didn't want three I knew we'd have at least four and No more than four She would have been fine with more except when she had Anna When she was in between birth pains. She was yelling at me. This is the last one Serious she was this is the last one. He he ha ha this is the last one you monster It was I'm sorry, baby But we knew we're gonna have babies sometimes people get married in and they think oh we'd like to have babies, but What it what happens if one of the? One of the the married people the wife is infertile or the husband is is Incapable of impregnating her. What are you gonna do? Have you talked about that? Those are things that you talk about those are sources of conflict How how involved are your parents going to be in your marriage? And with your kids If both of you work who's gonna raise the kids if you're not there for them Do you have such a thing as a division of labor? Do you have this mentality of domestic labor? domestic chores as a man Do you think oh, you know the wife is supposed to clean the house and vacuum and she's supposed to make the meals and and me I'm supposed to lay there and snap my fingers. I mean You know when I when I was with you growing up might my mom and dad had a good system might my dad never taught it to me verbally until I Was much older, but but I saw it in action and it was this mama has the inside of the house and dad had the outside That's how it worked That doesn't mean my dad didn't pick up a vacuum and didn't mean that he didn't wash dishes because he did Didn't mean that my dad couldn't cook but because my dad sometimes would make meals He didn't look at at that as a woman's work He saw it as work and and he would do work and and all of that But mama owned the inside of the house if she wants to put some flowers here She puts up some flowers. She wants to change this she changes that it didn't matter I learned that when I got married Marie would go on retreat and I'd be bored I mean she'd be gone Friday Saturday coming back Sunday. I had nothing to do the children were small So I would do things around the house the inside of the house I can still remember wallpaper in the entire front room and She came home to a wallpapered front room that she didn't like and Marie would walk in and just look at it like I Say beautiful, huh? I Like those unicorns She didn't like it You know and and she finally got to the point where she would tell me I don't want to go on retreats anymore I say why not baby because I don't know what you're gonna do to the house when I come home I'm decorating my inner Martha So I had to realize you don't want me to touch the house and I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that and so outside's mine insides her. What do you want? That doesn't mean I don't wash dishes. I will that doesn't mean that I don't vacuum my dude Doesn't mean that I don't paint rooms. I will I do whatever she wants and You just make we just make up our mind That's what's gonna happen. You need to have that kind of system working and I'm sure you do What happens when one person wants to leave the church and the other one doesn't Who makes that decision? What is fair when it comes to fighting When you have an argument, do you do you bring up the past? Do you use bad language? Do you yell? Do you blame? And how do you know when the fight is over? How do you know when it's really over? You see in this case here They had a conflict and the bride went looking for her husband because she felt she was in the wrong and And what motivated her was she remembered her love for him and she felt bad She wanted reconciliation which led to them making up Now to resolve conflict Be careful how you go about dealing with problems When you argue Be careful not to just speak your mind in anger Hurting that other person There are people whose words are like as sharp as a sword. They use them to pierce Be careful. You don't use your words like that Proverbs 29 20 says do you see a man hasty in his words? There's more hope for a fool than for him Be careful not to pick a fight in public Not only is that wrong But man is it uncomfortable to see Treat that other person as you would be treated make sure you don't confront your spouse in front of the children Because that tension ruins Ruins the home and it makes them not want to even be around and Make sure that if you're having a conflict that you don't raise your voice Because that's not talking. That's bullying And if you're having an argument and it happens that there are people who are around don't try and get them to agree with You because you end up teaming up against your spouse Make sure that you don't demean your spouse Putting them down privately or in front of other people make sure that you don't say bad things about them in front of your parents Front of your family or your friends or even strangers and make sure that you don't blame said Making it seem as if they're the ones who have the problem One of the ways that you can learn to resolve differences is to listen and while you're listening Don't make faces There are people who are listening, but they're going that's not listening. That's irritating They do so don't make faces listen listen with your heart Listened to not just the words but to the meaning behind them You see some people listen with this attitude just the minute you close your mouth I'm gonna show you where you're so wrong in all of this. They're not even listening They're not listening at all. You need to listen patiently You need to listen with humility because they're saying something that's important If it's something they've said before instead of saying to them, oh, you've said this before when you're gonna get over it Maybe it's a continuing problem that you have to deal with Maybe they're right if they keep saying the same thing How many times and how many different ways that they have to say it? Here we are defining ourselves. Well, that's your opinion. That's what you think, you know Or that old that's just how I was raised That's a way that was the way my family was that's the way we were You got to get used to it because that's who you married know You know, I was raised by a mom and dad who loved the family But my mom and dad were sinners and my mom and dad is sinners raised sinners So I don't want to use a sinful way of raising people as an example of how I'm gonna do it What I have to do is I have to look at scripture to see what Christians actually do and how they respond and how they deal with these problems And and I learned and I'm learning to as as Marie and I have a conflict when we do Whenever she thinks I'm wrong, but she's really wrong and I have to wait for her to figure that one out. I pray When she's talking And I'm not praying. Oh God shut her up. I'm listening Lord There's something that she's telling me I need to hear because I want to have a good marriage and Even if I don't agree with her at least help me hear her and Help me show respect to her when she's speaking because because for a living what I do is I speak That's what I do and I've been doing it 38 years So I'm very capable of taking what you're saying and turning it on you very easily It's not hard to do Because I listened for the weakness and I find it and then I got you that's how it works We all are that way The Lord told me a long time ago. This isn't a debate. This is a marriage This is a relationship and you may not agree with what's being said But something being said is important to her and you better listen to what she's saying or else It's going to affect you and your whole family. So listen carefully I've had to learn that and I still learning that after all these years And I will continue until the Lord takes me home and I'm willing because I want to So you listen with patience you listen with humility you listen prayerfully Because you're in love and you want to have a love that lasts. So what happens? Well verse 4 That's your introduction. We better get into the text I'm just kidding. Oh my love You are as beautiful as Terza lovely as Jerusalem awesome as an army with banners Turn your eyes away from me for they have overcome me your hair is like a flock of goats Going down from Gilead your teeth are like a flock of sheep Which have come up from the washing everyone bears twins and then is barren among them like a piece of pomegranate Are your temples behind your veil? There are 60 queens and 80 concubines and virgins without number my dove my perfect one Is the only one The only one of her mother the favorite of the one who bore her The daughter saw her and called her blessed the queens and the concubines They praised her Who is she who looks forth as the morning fair as the moon clear as the sun awesome As an army with banners instead of him saying well About time he came crawling back to me He comes on all Rico Swabby He tells her you are just so beautiful You're as beautiful as the day we got married Terza The word means sweetness pleasantness delight and Terza was a city to the north. That's where she's from Jerusalem is where they live and So he's saying to her you are beautiful You have conquered my heart And verses 8 through 10 when he says there are 60 queens and 80 concubines virgins without number Instead of being punitive Solomon goes on to tell her that she's the only one that he loves He's basically saying you know, there are so many women that are available to me But there's only one who's won my heart and it's you It's you You are unmatched There's no one like you You have no equal Even before she's asking for forgiveness. He's telling her that all is forgiven And that's an attitude of the heart that he has he's standing ready to forgive and he acts it out He's refusing to hold a grudge Because if he refuses to hold a grudge, he's not going to get bitter That's the heart of unconditional love And so as he's telling her listen, honey I love you so much and all is forgiven the shulamite verse 11 says I went down to the Garden of Nuts to see the verger of the valley to see whether the vine had budded and the pomegranates had bloomed before I Was even aware my soul had made me as a chariots of my noble people return return oh shulamite return Return that we may look upon you What would you see in the shulamite as it were the dance of the double count I Went down To this garden. I was looking to see if our relationship was still fruitful and just discovered he still loves me This is a picture of new buds blossoming after winter in other words She's seen something new and alive blossom from what seemed to be dead and lifeless That's what happens when you reconcile life returns in verse 12 when she says as the chariots of my noble people Writing in chariot was an honor that was bestowed on trusted and loved people. It revealed an open honor It displayed that she was fully reconciled to her husband And when it finally says in verse 13 return return oh shulamite return return that we may look upon you What would you see in the shulamite as it were the dance of the double camp? They're simply saying you have been fully reconciled Love is evident Come home And as you do so the two camps that were in discord will once again dance in harmony a dance of Reconciliation your dance resumes Every Married couple in this room has a dance You may be saying I'm not a dancer And my mama could dance My mama danced and she won dance contest my mom could dance When I grew up You know in our home we'd have friends over on a Friday or a Saturday on occasion. They'd play music my mom Was quite a dance it my dad two left feet Daddy couldn't dance He had just kind of do this and mom would just dance around it daddy couldn't dance But they could sure dance together You dance you dance this morning when you got up You went into the bathroom to get ready If you have a double sink you may be in one wife and the other You're starting to do whatever it is you're washing or shaving and she's over here But for some reason she needs to always put something right on the section that's usually yours So she reaches over there to get it But as you're doing what you're doing you step back right she reaches in she gets it You don't say anything she finishes doing what she's doing, but you forgot you left something over there on her side So you walk over there and she slides out of the way and you pick it up and you come on back and you were already dancing You just didn't realize it You walked out the door when you walk out the door the way Marie and I are when we walk out the door I always step aside the doors open she goes out. I don't even think about it. She'll stop She always stops for a moment. I've been doing this for 37 years, but she stops Then she'll walk through the door and then I walk behind her. I open the door. She that's our dance We dance like that all the time She walks in one way. I walk in another and we're interweaving our life. It's a dance You all dance you have your own steps and they're perfect for you. They work. It's your dance When you have a fight you have a dance of reconciliation reconciliation That at one point where you had stopped and maybe you're going separately it comes back and The harmony is restored And that's what she's simply saying She's saying there were warring camps That were going in the opposite direction, but they've been brought back in for the dance and every time you have a fight and you will You have that argument You always come back to the dance of reconciliation Because I choose us Over me. I want her Not my rights. I want us and I am willing to work in those steps to make sure that our dance continues She was too and so was Solomon