 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Claudette Colbert and Don Amici in midnight. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil V. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Our play tonight is the comedy of a gay masquerade and of a reckoning that comes as it must to all masquerades when the clock strikes twelve. It's the story of a young lady who completely hoodwinks international society but can't deceive her own heart and that turns her adventure into a love story. The United States has entertained a good many counterfeit titles from Europe so perhaps it's only squaring accounts if an American girl takes the title of Baroness and makes the more or less polite society of Europe entertain her. And when the bogus Baroness is Claudette Colbert of course any sensible European would outdo himself to place the continent at her feet. Claudette and Don Amici starred together in Paramount's delightful motion picture production of midnight and we didn't even try to improve on that kind of casting. Claudette comes to us before going back to work at Paramount in the picture Arise My Love. As her relentless pursuer, Don Amici takes the wheel of one of the most terrifying machines in the world, a French taxicab. And that's a perfect setup for a gay whale through the boulevards and bright lights of the Paris of a few years ago. Midnight is a play that will banish worry from the living room tonight as efficiently as Lux Flakes always does from the kitchen. Millions of women already know that secret but for the few who don't Lux Flakes will be a wonderful discovery. Now if your tickets are in order we'll start for Paris. A trip that will take just about as long as it takes to raise the curtain here in the Lux Radio Theatre. We begin act one of midnight starring Claudette Colbert as Eve Peabody and Don Amici as Tibor Cheney. A few years ago when one spoke of Paris it was always Paris in the spring or Paris by night conjuring up visions of gaiety and romance. But there's another aspect of the great city rarely touched upon, Paris and the rain. Yes it rains there too and just now it's pouring. From the railroad station comes a lovely creature in a trailing evening gown. She's young and beautiful. Certainly you'd expect her to step into a waiting limousine and be whisked off to the wrist hotel. But no, this lovely apparition in evening clothes is walking. Walking in the rain with a dripping newspaper on her head to ward off the stinging drops. The taxicab drivers cannot believe their eyes. Mademoiselle, you wish a taxi? No, thank you. Mademoiselle, you will not walk in this rain. Taxi Mademoiselle? No. They didn't mademoiselle. Anywhere in Paris. I said no. Will you leave me alone? You walk on a night like this. Taxi, Mademoiselle, taxi. No. Any place in Paris, Mademoiselle? No. Which way are you going? I don't know. I'm walking. Oh, Mademoiselle enjoys the rain, huh? Oh, sure. I'm just mad about it. It feels so good running down my back. Well, then why not ride? Mademoiselle, my taxi is yours. Listen, I don't want a taxi. All right, mister. Here's how things stand. I could have you drive me all around town and then tell you I left my purse home on the grand piano. There's no grand piano, no home. And my purse, 25 centine with a hole in it. That's what's left of the Peabody State. Oh, you have no money, huh? That's right. I need a taxi to find myself a job and I need a job to pay for the taxi. Oh, I see. No taxi, no job, no job, no dinner. But look, if I do promote one, I'll pay you twice what the meter says. Double or nothing. You mean you give me the honor of driving you around while you look for a job, huh? That's it. And for that you will pay me double? Oh, and a great big daddy tip. Well, that sounds like good business. What do you say? I say no. All right, if that's the way you feel, I was going to walk anyway. Good night. Hey, hey, hey, wait. What do you want? Get in the cab. Oh, never mind, I don't have to. Get in, get in. Well, if you insist. Only now you don't get that tip, I promise you. Uh-huh. What kind of work do you want? Well, look, at this time of night and then these clothes, I'm not looking for needlework. Look in your newspaper. They have jobs in there sometimes. The easier to drink this than read it. Here we are, nightclubs. Nightclubs? What are you, a dancer? No. Didn't you ever hear of Eve Peabody, the famous American blues singer? No. Well, confidentially. She didn't get to be a blues singer till she stepped into your cab. Well, let's try the Bal Tadrin, hmm? Oh, you have to be pretty good to work there. Uh, uh, say, do you, uh, always travel in an evening dress? No. I was wearing this in Monte Carlo when a nasty accident occurred. What happened to fire? Uh-uh. The roulette system I was playing collapsed under me. I left the casino with what I had on my back. Oh. Well, drive on. And when I get that job, I'll think about restoring your tip. Oh, thank you, Mamazelle. No job. Club Big Al. No job. Bolero Club. No job. Mulan Rouge. No job. No job. No job. All right. I guess mine is strictly a bathtub voice. How much is on the meter? It's a little matter of 80 francs. Well, where do you want to go now? 80 francs? No, that's enough, Skipper. I'm sorry I got you into this mess. Yeah, it's all right. Where to now? Back to the station, please. What are you going to do back there? Sit in the waiting room. Waiting for what? For tomorrow morning. No, you can't do that. You come with me on by your dinner. Oh, now, listen, you lost a gamble. You don't have to feed it. I don't like to think of a woman sitting around a station with an empty stomach. Oh, there's the pumpkin coach, and you're the fairy godmother. Cut it out. Cut it out. I'm going to buy you a cheap dinner. You don't even have to thank me for it. Okay, Skipper. Sorry, Skipper. I wouldn't have taken noises only. I thought they were on the regular dinner, honest. Forget it. No, it was a dirty trick, Skipper. Say, what's your name anyway? I'm tired of calling you Skipper. Cherny is the name. T-Boar Cherny. T-What? T-Boar. T-Boar Cherny. I'm Hungarian. Where I come from, they think E.P. Body is a funny name. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, anyway, Mr. Cherny, I'm sorry I ordered oysters. I'm running into money. I wish you'd stop talking about money. I'm a rich man. You? Sure. I need 40 francs a day, and I make 40 francs. What about that rainy day when it comes? On a rainy day, I make double. No bank account, no real estate, no possessions. Three handkerchiefs, two shirts, one tie. No worries. Oh, you're talking like a fool. Listen, if you want peace of mind, get yourself a taxi cab. No woman ever found peace in a taxi. I'm looking for a limousine. They don't ride any better. They ride better than the subway. I spent most of my life on a Bronx local. Squeeze, trample, stepped on. No, sir, one day I said to myself, that's enough, baby, you're going to get somewhere. So I came abroad. I shipped to London in a can of imported corine. You know, most of those girls end up with a lord or something. Oh, is that what you call getting somewhere? It's a step in the right direction. I landed a lord, almost. Almost? Well, his family got between us. His mother came to my hotel and offered me a bribe. Offered a bribe? Well, you threw her out, I hope. How could I with my hands full of money? You mean you took the money? Listen, I've got a few ideas about peace of mind myself. I carried that cab straight down to Monte Carlo and played it to win. And lost. Served you right for wanting something for nothing. Okay, it took me years to realize you just don't fall into a tub of butter. You jump for it. Ah, you're the one that's talking like a fool now. Oh, now, no hard feelings, Mr. Charity. No, it's too bad, though. Do you want some more wine? Uh-huh, please. I think we need some gas. Oh, we do. Out of gas, huh? Well, well. It's all right, it's all right. I always carry an extra can on the back. Oh, well, that's a novelty. Say, where's that railroad station anyway? Oh, we passed that. You're going to sleep at my place tonight. What was that? I said you're going to sleep at my place. Oh, no, I'm not. Now listen, I've got to drive this cab all night. How do you expect me to keep my mind on my business knowing you're having a roof over your head? No, thanks, Gipper. Yeah, here's the key. There's a shirt drying over the bathtub. You can sleep in that. But be out by 7 in the morning. No, Gipper, you'd better keep the key. Now, don't be a fool. Me? I've been a fool too long. Listen, back in New York, whenever I managed to crash a party full of luscious, big-hearted millionaires, there was sure to be some snub-faced kid in the orchestra playing traps. So around 4 in the morning, when the wise girls were skipping off to Connecticut to marry those millionaires, I'd be with him in some night spot learning tricks on the kettle drum. And he always had a nose like yours. Was there anything wrong with my nose? Mm-hmm. I like it. Do you mind? Oh, no, we're no good for each other. Gipper, we're going in different directions. Yeah, that's what you think. I'm going to get that gas in the tank and then we're heading for my place. You just sit tight. Okay, Gipper. You're right back. You know, a girl like you shouldn't be running around Paris all alone. First thing you know, you'd be getting into trouble. Suppose you don't find a job. What do you do then? Can't sleep in the railroad station all the time. And what about those clothes? Then you try walking around in the daytime with an evening dress. How far do you suppose you're going to get dressed up like that? Hey, what's the matter? You sleep? I said how far do you suppose you're going to... Hey, where'd she go? Hey, uh, Peabody. Eve, Eve, where are you? Hey, hey, where are you? Good evening, officer. My dumb is going the wrong way. Oh, well, what did you say, officer? The house you're looking for is just down the street. Three doors that way, madame. The house I'm looking for? You're going to the house of madame LeBone, no? Oh, is that where I'm going? Oh, yes. But of course. I knew it once when I saw the evening gown. Come, madame. I myself will show you that. Oh, well, say thanks. My car, I must have got out at the wrong house. One makes mistakes, madame. Oh, yes, one does. It's a musical evening at madame LeBone, no? Yes, yes, that's right. Good. Here, madame, this is the house. Oh, well, thank you. Good night, officer. Oh, but go in. You're becoming wet, madame. Yes, I know, but... I'm looking for a seat. I don't believe this one is taken. Thank you. I, uh, I saw you come in. Yes, I was observing of you. My name is George Flamerian. George Flamerian? Dull evening, isn't it? Not up to now. I don't believe I've seen you here before, madame. I've never been invited here before. Oh, I see. Stuffy people, aren't they? I don't think so. Very. Someone once tried to come in under a false name. They found out she didn't belong. Not really. What did they do? Handed her over to the police. Stuffy people. You're very... Would you come this way, please? Someone's calling you, madame. You mean me? Please, I would like to avoid with you outside. Yes, that's what I thought. All right, I'll go quietly. Come here, madame. All right, now let's get it over with. I've had my eye on you from the moment you came in. I know, I should have known better, but you see, I didn't want to come in here at all. It was an officer outside. Shh, don't apologize. You're not the only one. There are three of us in rebellion against that music. You play bridge, don't you? What? Yes, I do. Good. Come this way. Well, why did you pick on me? Well, you look charming. You look bored. You look as though you wouldn't trump your partner's ace. Well, thanks. Now, in this room, our two partners await us impatiently. Helene, Jacques, I found a fourth for... Oh, come in, Marcel. It's all right. For a moment, I was not sure. Jacques, wipe the lipstick off your face. Oh, come in, Marcel, please. Helene, I found a fourth. Madame from Marion. May I present Madame... How do you do? How do you do? Madame... The chair name. Madame chair name? Yes, chair name. Madame, may I also present Jacques Picot, one of the most dangerous men in the room. How do you do, Madame? How do you do? And I am Marcel Renault. How do you do? Sit down, everybody. Shall we cut for deal? Will you do me the honour of being my partner, Madame? Thank you, Monsieur Picot. Well, what are we playing for? Our usual stakes, Marcel. Five francs a point. Five francs? Well, five francs is a bit tame, if you'd care to make them higher. Oh, no, no, no. It makes no difference to me. Your deal, Madame chair name. What a very good showing, Madame. I'm afraid we're down 900. Oh, is that all, Monsieur? Only 900? I don't know whether you should be flattered or annoyed, Madame. Jacques usually plays an excellent game. Tennis or golf? Madame, please. At times I find it very difficult to concentrate on cards. You mean when you have a pretty partner, Jacques? Helene. Ah, good evening. Oh, come in, George. How's the musical evening progressing? As dull as ever, my dear. Oh, Madame chair name. This is Monsieur Flamérian, my husband. How do you do? How do you do, Madame chair name? You're American, aren't you? Yes, I am. Hungarian descent? Scotch, Irish and Choctaw. Figure out the score, Marcel. Chair name, though. Chair name. You know, that's Hungarian. No, well, that's not my name. Oh, isn't it? No, except by marriage. Oh, oh, then you're the wife of Baron chair name. Baron chair name, of course. Yes, of course. You know, the last time I saw him in Samuritz, he talked about an American girl. Where is he now, Baroness? Back in Budapest. He's not very well, you know, the old trouble. Oh, too bad, too bad. Helene, you should see Budapest. It's the most enchanting city, except, of course, for the subway. Did they ever finish that, Baroness? The streets are still a little torn up. Here's the total. I want to check up your losings, Jacques. Very bad. I'm sorry, Baroness. We had the spirit even if we didn't have the cards. Well, how much did we lose? Around 4,200 pounds. Oh, where's my bag? I may not have that much with me. Oh, pardon me, Baroness. Allow me to lend you enough to cover it. Oh, thank you, Monsieur Flamarine. That's very kind of you. You can repay me tomorrow. Oh, of course. Well, I think I'd better leave now. Is your car here, Baroness? No, no, I had some trouble with my chauffeur. Then let me drop you. Oh, no, really? Please, I insist. Where do you live, Baroness? Well, at my hotel. And that is? I'll give you three guesses. The Ritz? That's right. The first time. The Ritz. Come along, then. Good night, everyone. Good night, Jacques. This is it. The Ritz, wasn't it? Yes, thank you so much. Don't bother to see me inside. It's terribly late. Oh, no. My mother taught me always to see a lady to her door. Oh, thanks. Well, good night. Oh, no, no, no. You can't get rid of me as easily as that. How do you know what dangers may lurk in the hotel lobby? I know exactly what dangers lurk in hotel lobbies. Come on. Look, now, I'm going to stay in the lobby for a while. I have something to do. A telegram back home. You see, my husband hasn't been well. A night letter. Well, write it out, Baroness. I'll get your key. Look, don't you know when to go home? No. Clark, Clark, the key for Baroness' journey, please. Yes, Monsieur. It may be in the name of Smith. You know, my maid sometimes makes a mistake. Here you are. The Baroness' journey, room 217, 219. What did you say? The Baroness' journey, room 217, 219. What's the matter, Baroness? Don't you know your own room number? Yes, of course. Now, we'll send that wire. No, no, no. You needn't bother. I'll write it upstairs. Good night. No, to her door, my mother said. That means upstairs. Monsieur Pico, please. No, no, no. Come on, Baroness. Write to your door. This is your door. Well, yes, I know. Good night. What? No nightcap? Now, look, my mother taught me a few things, too. Good night. Well, at least I don't have to ask for your telephone number. I'll be pestering you, Baroness. Oh, won't you please go? Not until you go in. Go ahead now. All right. Good night. Good night. I'll explain it once more. Now, each of us puts in five francs, and the guy that finds it gets the whole thing. Now, say we get a thousand of us. One woman out of all parties. Why not? There are only four million people here. And only half of them are women. It's easy. That's right. Listen, she's an American girl named Eve Peabody. All she's got is a gold evening dress. She hasn't got a cent to her name, so she can't get out of town. All right, now, spread the word around. Keep your eyes open. Go to the consulate, the embassy, the hotel, the night spot. He had to relate to you. All right, now, come on, each of you put in five francs. Here's mine. In just a moment, Mr. DeMille brings you Donna Meachie and Claudette Colbert in act two of midnight. During our brief intermission... The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things. Wedding dresses for one thing. And particularly cotton wedding dresses. The big news in 1940. Oh, but Sally, that's not just a 1940 fashion. Oh, no. Well, what is it then? It's an 1840 fashion. Back in 1848, Daniel Boone's great-great-niece was married in a cotton wedding dress. A very beautiful one, too. Now, how in the world do you know that? Because the dress is on exhibition in New York at the Museum of Costumat right now. Oh, what's it like? Well, here's our fashion scout, Libby Collins, to tell us about it. It's tucked wide to organza with an off-the-shoulder neckline, tiny waist and very full skirt. It's trimmed with yards and yards of fine lace. Mmm, it sounds like a dream. You know, I should think they keep it all wrapped up in tissue paper. Oh, not all the time. It's often on exhibition. And, of course, it has to be washed sometimes. Washed? A dress like that? Why, it's nearly a hundred years old. Certainly. But the Museum of Costumat always washes it in lux flakes. They're so wonderfully gentle. And the dress looks simply exquisite. What else is in the exhibit, Libby? Well, there's a bridal robe worn by the Hopi Indian women. It's made of cotton, which is grown, gathered, spun, and woven by the relatives of the bridegroom. And what does the robe look like, Libby? It's a large square white blanket, very finely woven, with elaborate tassels at each corner, which represent ears of corn. Luxible? Well, in those days, I don't suppose the Hopi Indians lux did, Sally, but the Museum does. You know, they use lux for so many of their lovely things. Priceless treasures like that must have gentle care. And new quick lux gives them just that. It's so mild and pure, it's safe for everything, safe in water alone. That's why so many millions of women use lux to guard the beauty of their own nice things. Silks, rayons, smart cottons. Speaking of cottons, Mr. Ruig, this is National Cotton Week. Paris says, wear cotton for everything, from play suits to evening dresses. So this is a grand time to plan an all-cotton wardrobe. The lovely new cottons are at your favorite store right now. And remember, these beautiful new cottons need gentle care, just like washable silks and rayons. Otherwise, you may spoil their finish and color. New quick lux helps colors and fabrics stay new looking longer. It's fast, it's thrifty, and above all, it's safe. It's in the same familiar box and it costs no more. Now our producer, Mr. DeMille. Act two of Midnight, starring Claudette Colbert, has Eve Peabody and Don Amici as T-Boar Chirney. Eve Peabody, the American blues singer, has been suddenly and mysteriously transformed into the Baroness Chirney. Early the following morning, the telephone rings in her luxurious apartment, awakening Eve to a bright new day. No, there's no one here by that name. You've got the... Oh! Oh, the Baron. That's me. What do you want? Carlo. Well, that's impossible. I mean, are you sure there isn't some mistake? It's it for the Baroness. Where shall we put your trunks, Madame? Well, just put them down any place. Oh, Francois, here. You're the keys, Madame. Shall I open them? You mean before Christmas? Pardon, Madame. Oh, no, don't mind me. I'm just a little dizzy. You just go right ahead. Who is there? Flowers with Baroness Chirney. Flowers? Shall I arrange them, Madame? No, no, no. Just lay them down. I'll have them strewn in my path on the way out. The trunk is open, Madame. Is there something else? No, I think it's enough, don't you? Oh, you mean the tip. Oh, no, no, no. Your chauffeur took care of that, Madame. My chauffeur? He's waiting downstairs. He wishes to know if Madame wants the car today. Oh, he does. Well, tell him I wouldn't be at all surprised. Yes, Madame. Thank you, Madame. Thank you. Oh, I'm, I'm crazy. I'm raving. Negligé's dress is a... I don't believe it. Oh, all right. Bring it in. Good morning, Baroness. Oh. Remember me? Flamérian's the name. Oh, I see you've been trying on your new coat. It's a little large, don't you think? I've arranged to have a fitter here at two o'clock. So it was you. You made a pretty good guess at my measurements. You know, I've always had a weakness for size 12. Did you arrange for this apartment, too? Mm-hmm. I've arranged to have a fitter here at two o'clock. So it was you. You made a pretty good guess at my measurements. While you were on your way here with Jack last night. Neat, hm? You know, the minute you looked at me, I had an idea. You had an idea. Mm-hmm. You remember when I asked you if they were still working on the Budapest subway? Yeah. Well, the Budapest subway was finished in 1893. It's the oldest subway in the world. Mr. Flamérian, that is playing dirty. Well, I use my brain when it comes to something I want very badly. Also your bank account. Oh, I guarantee we'll never have any arguments about money. That's fine, but there's just one trouble. I won't play. Now, now, don't misunderstand me. Oh, look, when little red riding hood spots the long gray whiskies don't still insist at your grandma. Hm. Well, suppose you hear my proposition out. Okay, go ahead. What, uh, what was your impression of Jacques Picot? Jacques? Well, he seems all right. Why? Hm. I'm afraid I can't agree with you. Of course, I may be a little bit prejudice. You see, my wife and Jacques think they're in love. Oh, well, that's cozy. Why don't you punch him in the nose? Well, I think it's a good thing, but impractical. He was top man on the boxing team of his university. Well, where do I come in? What you need is a lawyer. I'll never get a divorce. Never. I still don't see where I come in. Last night, for the first time, I saw a ray of hope. While he was laughing with you, my wife was in torment. When you drove away together, she was fighting tears. Now, your job, if you will accept it, is just beginning. My wife, uh, my wife will fight for him. Oh, and you want me to fight back, hm? I want to bring his attention before it's too late. Uh, you can name your own price. Sir, you really love her, don't you? All the crazy plans. Oh, perhaps not so crazy from your point of view. Jacques's family makes a very superior income from a very inferior champagne. Yes, you could do much worse. We're having a weekend party at our place in Versailles. Jacques will be there. You, uh, you will arrive tomorrow in time for tea. Now, now, now, wait a minute. I haven't said yes. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was all settled. I'll spend as much time at the house as necessary to separate my wife and Jacques and, uh, then depart. The richer by some, uh, oh, let's say, 50,000 francs. Huh? But, of course, if you have other plans, if you have some other offer. Oh, I have, but, uh, I'll take yours. All right, come on, fellas. Anybody else want to get in the pool? Put up five francs and win 5,000. Who's next? Tivo. Tivo, watch the money. I found it. Give me a cognac. What did you say? I found the girl. One cognac. Well, come on, come on. You can talk without a cognac. The cognac is for you, Cherny, when you hear what I've got to say. Well, say it, say it. Well, she lives at the Ritz. She's got a high-class car with a chauffeur. And would you like to know what her name is? Well, her name is Eve Peabody. No, no, it isn't. Not now. It's Cherny. Cherny. Cherny. My name? The Baroness, Cherny. Give me that cognac. Where are you going? Let me alone. I'm going into the hotel to talk to the Baroness, Cherny. I'm sorry, my man, but I have orders to allow no taxi drivers through this door. But I've got to speak to her. She ordered a taxi. The Baroness, Cherny, has not ordered a taxi. She is out of town for the weekend. Where? We do not give out information regarding our guests. Where? Move along, my good man. Are you going to tell me? No. All right, then. Here, here. Stop blowing that horn. Stop it, I say. But I get done here. You won't have a guest in your whole hotel. Stop, stop it. Where is the Baroness, Cherny? I don't know. You'll find out if you know how to blow this thing all day. All right, all right. I'll tell you. She is at the Chateau Flammerion at Versailles. Where? At the Chateau Flammerion at Versailles. Thanks. That's all I wanted to know. Going with the shock. All right, my dear? All fine. In fact, a little better than that. That boy ought to have his brakes relined. Yes, I know his speed. You know, this afternoon he suggested we cruise the Mediterranean on his yacht. And this morning he appeared with an emerald as big as a gumdrop. I'll take it out of your salary. Oh, don't worry. I refused it. Why? Get everything you can out of this deal. That's what I'm doing. You want to know something? I have a crazy idea. Jacques may ask me to divorce my husband. And marry him? Ha, you don't know Jacques Pico. Ha, ha, you don't know he's fee body. Excuse me, George. I'm supposed to meet him in the garden. Ah, my wife will be furious. Good luck, darling. And don't interrupt, Eve. I know you won't do it, but let's just suppose. All right, I'll suppose. Well, what if we ran down the path to the garage and took the car and drove off just as we are? No toothbrush? I said don't interrupt. The two of us roaring down through the night. Let's see what time it is. It's 20 minutes of 12. We could get there just about dawn. Mm-hmm. You know, if it's that little wayside in, let's save the gas. No, no, no, no. This is an old country place in the woods. Oh. We'll clatter the great bell beside the door, hard. You see, the butler's dead. Oh. And upstairs, there's a very little old lady. I'll lead you into the room and I'll say mother. Oh, mother's back again, huh? Mother, I'll say, here she is. I found her. And the dawn will be pale behind the oaks. It won't be as pale as mother. Mother, I'll say it's this one or no one. Badeness Channing. Oh, yes, George. Badeness, you promised me a dance. Did I? Yes, a midnight dance. But they're not playing. Well, it's midnight. I've got to speak to you. Oh, oh. Jacques, will you partner us? Well, after all... I'll bring a right bag, Jacques. Just wait right there. Don't be long. What is it? What's all the excitement? Listen, the ground has just opened up under our feet. Your husband has arrived. What did you say? Your husband has arrived. I have no husband. I know it, but he just arrived. Well, what are you talking about? Listen, a man just came in. He was announced as the Baden Channing. He's inside now. Well, what did he look like? I didn't stop to find out. Come on, you've got to meet him. Well, now, wait a minute. I can't go in and meet a strange man and tell him I'm married to him. How can that? Oh, thank you. Thank you, madam. I'm sure I'll find him. Here he comes. It's the skipper. Oh, please. No kiss for your husband, darling? Oh, of course. Oh, I've been so hungry to see my little wife. And of course, Baron, you know my husband. Oh, well, certainly. Oh, certainly. It's a great pleasure to have you with us, Baron. You have such a gay wife. She's simply captivated all my guests. Oh, how nice. I trust you've been behaving yourself, darling. Divinely. Of course, you must meet Jacques Picot. Oh, Jacques. Yes? Jacques, I know you want to meet the husband of the Baroness. How do you do? Oh, how do you do? They've been inseparable, Baron. Jacques and your wife. Elaine, please. I warn you, Monsieur Picot, we Hungarians are very jealous husbands. Remember our honeymoon in Copenhagen, darling, that Danish officer? Oh, Olaf. Oh, I never even looked at him. Poor fellow, he's dead now. Heaven forgive me. Oh, you're that kind of a man. How wonderful. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll see about putting you up. Eve dear, we'll move you to a larger room where you can both be comfortable. Well, thank you, but if it's just as convenient... Of course, of course, stay where you are. We can put Charny on the third floor. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We prefer Madame Flammerian's plan. Don't we, darling? Just as you say, Timor. Good night. Good night. See you in the morning. Ah, well, he's... Well, what? Delightful people. I'm so glad you ran into them. What are you doing here? I just flew from Budapest. They told me at the ritz my wife was here. You, uh... You don't seem very pleased. Oh, come on, now, what do you want? Oh! Getting sleepy, darling, aren't you? Not in the least. You know, your sudden disappearance upset me quite a bit, but now it's all all right. Now stop it, Skipper. Oh, look, they put my pajamas on the wrong side of the bed. Listen, if you move one step toward those pajamas, I'll scream. And let all the guests in on the truth? Oh, no. Oh, Skipper, please, won't you get out of here? Now, is that a nice way to talk to the man in the room, you bear? All right. I took your name. So what? I'm delighted. It was the first name that came into my mind. Yes, for a very special reason. I believe in Freud and the subconscious. You chose the name you wanted, my name. I suppose you're Baron Chirney. If you're speaking about that driveling idiot in Budapest, I'm his eighth cousin once removed, which makes me more of a baron than you are a baroness. How come you're driving a taxi? I climbed up to it by easy stages. Ah, there's nothing like a little wife who's interested in her husband's career. Come here. Oh, cut it out, Skipper. Eve. Eve, darling. Please go away. You can't run away from what started between us. I know we're right for each other. I know it deep down in my bones. Don't you? That's why I didn't accept that room of yours. There were no strings on that. I was really driving all night. I know you were. You told me to clear out before you got back, but don't you see, that's not the way it would have worked out. I'd have awakened in the morning in that extra shirt of yours and then I'd have waited to thank you. And I'd have asked you to marry me. I probably would have. Oh, Skipper, don't you see? We'd have had a few grand weeks and a lot of laughs. I'd have donned your socks while you bumped around in that old taxi scraping our forty francs together and then all of a sudden the walls of that one room would have started crowding in on us. Yeah, yeah, I know that. When your poor love flies out the window. Well, I saw it happen to my father and mother. So many worries, so many quarrels. They just gave up. They didn't even hate each other. I suppose love is safer in a place like this. Please, Skipper. Don't let's make a mess of our lives. We're no good for each other. Oh, now don't be a fool, Eve. Come on, kiss me. No, no, stop it. Get your things together. We're starting back. No. No, I won't go. Oh, listen, Skipper, I've just had a swell break. Don't just see, I got in with this crowd. Things are beginning to work out. There's a man here. Well, it's what I've been waiting for all my life. Now, please, please, we'll make some excuse to those people downstairs and you'll leave in the morning. So that's what you really want, huh? An imitation of a man. A fake existence, a cheap, tawdry little life. Oh, be quiet. All right. You, uh, don't mind if I sleep out on the balcony, do you? It'll look pretty silly if I go downstairs. Do what you want. Thanks. Good night. Pleasant dreams. The curtain falls on Act Two of Midnight with Claudette Colbert and Don Amici. During this brief intermission before Act Three, we present a musical portrait of Mary. Mary was as busy as a bee. There she typed. She ran errands. And at night, she went dancing. She was very happy except for one thing. When she stooped or ran errands or went dancing, stockings would often pop a run. She was so mad she just boiled. She didn't know what to do, but one day someone gave her a hint. Oh, Mary, it's New Quick Lux for you. It cuts down runs, saves money, too. Yes, New Quick Lux does cut down on runs. You see, stockings have to be elastic to stand the strain you give them every day. With gentle New Quick Lux, there's no harmful alkali, no cake soap rubbing to weakened threads. It saves their precious elasticity so that when you kneel or stoop, your stockings stretch instead of breaking into run so easily. They wear longer. Now, it's easy to give stockings lux care because New Quick Lux is so fast. It's thrifty, too, goes further. Even in hard water, it gives you more suds ounce for ounce than any of ten other leading soaps tested. New Quick Lux comes in the same familiar box, and it costs you no more. So get a big box tomorrow, and lux your stockings every night to cut down runs. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. We continue with the third act of midnight. It's early the following morning. In the bright sunshine on the terrace, Jacques Pico sits at the breakfast table, a perfect picture of dejection. As Eve comes from the house, his face brightens momentarily. Then darkens again as he remembers her husband. Good morning. Oh, if your face was any longer, you could skip rope with it. Did you expect to find me old smiles? I must admit it was very pleasant when he was in Budapest. But you always... the way you spoke of him... What about it? Eve, are you in love with your husband? With my husband? No, Jacques. Oh, Eve. Good morning, Baroness. Good morning, Marcel. Morning, Jacques. Morning. Good morning, everyone. Good morning, Elaine. You sleep well, Baroness. Oh, like a baby. Where's the baron? Isn't he coming down? I am down. Good morning, everyone. Good morning, Baroness. Eve, dear, why don't you wait for me? Oh, I'm so sorry, darling. I was too hungry. I'm afraid you'll have to hurry your breakfast. I've just had bad news from home. About what? No, no, don't be alarmed, darling. It's nothing serious, I hope. Well, what is it? It's about Francie. Francie? Who's Francie? Francie's our little daughter. She's three years old. Oh. You haven't told them anything about Francie, Eve? No, I haven't. Oh, well, I just had a wire from home, and she's very ill. Oh, is she? Oh, Richard, what is it? Measles. Why, that's nothing serious. T-Boff Francie's the healthiest child in the world. Yes, but the strongest are often the hardest hit. Mother is very worried, dear. Oh, of course you're poor mother. I've forgotten about her. George, where's the nearest telephone? Why, in the main hall. What are you going to do, Eve? I'm going to telephone Budapest. Well, now wait. With a child dangerously ill, the telephone will be disconnected. T-Boff, please don't argue with me. Eve, I forbid you to telephone. My dear Baron, the day has passed when a man forbids his wife anything. You keep out of this. I will not. Oh, please, my nerve. What business is it of yours? I'm very fond of children. Oh, you are. George, will you please show me where the phone is? This way, my dear. Wait, Eve, listen. Why don't you let her alone? I told you to shut up. George, George, get on another phone somewhere in the house. What for? I've got to talk to somebody. Go upstairs. All right, all right. The phone's there on the table. Eve, Eve, listen to me. Put down the phone. Now, be quiet, T-Boff. Hello, operator. I want long distance to Budapest. The name is Charny. It's the only Charny in the book. I'll hold the wire. Why are you doing that? It won't help a bit. Oh, T-Boff, it makes things easier for me. I'm so sorry, Baroness. Thank you, Helen. Listen, I'm taking that call when it comes through. Oh, no, no, no, T-Boff. I couldn't trust you. You know, Helen, if it's bad news, he'll try to spare me. Of course. Oh, darling, I know your nerves are just as strange as mine. Hello, Eve. Hello, is this Budapest? Yes, George Budapest. I'm upstairs. Hello? Is that you, Mama? How's Francie? What do you want me to say? Well, what did the doctor say? Uh, he just left. Oh, good. T-Boff, the baby's temperature's gone down. The spots have practically disappeared. Huh? What did you say, Mother? It isn't measles at all. No, dear, it's just a plain case of alcohol poisoning. The, uh, baby must have had one highball too many. Oh. Yes, yes, she was out all night. We picked her up in the gutter. Oh, how cute of her. Uh, listen, Eve, this is... Darling, it's your little Francie. Now, say hello. Hello, Francie. Hello, Dada. Yes, yes, this is your Dada. Send her a kiss for me. Yeah, here's a kiss, dear. Uh, goodbye, dear. I'll see you soon. Goodbye. We don't have to leave at all. Oh, snake, I'll show you. T-Boff, where are you going? I'm going upstairs. But your breakfast is... I don't want any breakfast. Oh, poor T-Boff. He was so worried. Of course. Do come and sit down, Baroness. Jock, finish your breakfast, dear. Well, I'm glad you don't have to go, Baroness. Well, everything all settled. Ah, George, isn't it wonderful? The baby's better. Splendid. Helene, where are the pulver's eggs you promised me? Oh, I'm sorry, Marcel. I ordered them. Uh, Maurice? Yes, madame? Maurice, what happened to the pulver's eggs? They didn't arrive, madame. We tried to get in touch with the market, but the telephone has been out of order ever since last night. What's that, Maurice? The telephone, madame. It's out of order. Nonsense. We just telephoned from the main hall. The house telephone works, monsieur. But the Baroness was just talking to Budapest. There must be some mistake, madame. I wasn't able to use the telephone ten minutes ago. But Baroness, well... Oh, I'm afraid he's right, madame Flamarian. I wasn't really talking to Budapest. You weren't? But we all heard you. Of course you talked to Budapest. No, I didn't, Jacques. And I'm going to tell you something even more surprising. Thibaut and I have no daughter. What is all this? Are you feeling quite well, my dear? Oh, perfectly. But I shouldn't trouble you with my unhappy marriage. Forget what I said. Oh, no, tell us, please. No, no, it seems so disloyal to poor Thibaut. Oh, you can't stop now. Well, all right. You see, when I married, I didn't realize that in the Charny family there was a streak of, shall we call it, eccentricity. Yes. And yet I had a warning. Why else should his grandfather have sent me as an engagement present, a rollerskate covered with 1,000 island dressing? What? Oh, of course, of course. I'd forgotten the Charny's are all like that. But your husband seems quite normal. Oh, he is, Elaine, for long stretches. And then comes one of his attacks. This morning was typical. Waking up and imagining we had a daughter. And you know one mustn't contradict him, of course. Does he get violent, if you do? Oh, he breaks things and eats them sometimes. What? Well, I usually do that. And you've put up with this for years? Yes, I came to Paris this time to get away, but you see, he followed me. Once before I tried, I was hiding in Capri. He made a violent entrance into the hotel, disguised as a fisherman, and tried to have me shot as a spy. At least he has imagination. Oh, but there are moments when he's so sweet. One can't help loving him. Oh, you're wonderful, isn't you, George? Mm, amazing. What's that? Whose car is that? A taxi. What's a taxi doing here? Driver must have made a mistake. Oh, you don't suppose... It's poor T-Boom. Who made you? He's having a spell. Oh, it's all right, Eve. We're all with you. Let's call a doctor. No, no, no, no. That would be the worst thing. Good morning. Well, now you see me for what I really am. What do you say to this? Why baron? Do I look like a baron? T-Boom, please. Come on, come on. Tell him who I am. George, Helene, he's not a baron. He's a taxi driver. Oh, well, isn't that interesting. Nothing keeps one out in the air so much, does it? I imagine this is the first time your chateau has entertained a member of the working class. Well, times have changed, haven't they? Now, what would you like for breakfast? Nothing. I have a few things to tell you, and then you can throw us both out of here. T-Boom, look at me. Look straight into my eyes. Let me hold your hand. It's too late now. We'll make a clean breast of things whether you like it or not. In the first place, you are not my wife. Oh, T-Boom. Well, are you? No, T-Boom. We know. She's a spy. A what? A spy. She's an American gold digger I picked up in Paris less than a week ago. Is that right? Yes, T-Boom. Without a sue to her name. No, T-Boom. But there was something about her nose and the way the rain drops trickled down from that newspaper. Newspaper? Yeah, she was wearing one instead of a hat. Oh, yes. She twisted me around her finger in two minutes. I was crazy about her. She made me think she felt the same way about me until she remembered she had other fish to fry. A fish like you. Goldfish. Oh, please, Baron Chairwoman. I am not a Baron. Say, what's the matter with all of you? Nothing at all. Well, you all act as though nothing had happened. Well, what has happened? Well, didn't you hear what I said? We're a pair of imposters. You don't want us around here. They're terribly broad-minded people, T-Boom. What are you smirking about? Now, stop it. Don't talk like that to your wife. She's not my wife. Are you all deaf or are you all crazy? You're the one who's crazy, Cherry. We all know about it. Your wife told us. Oh, so that is it. Oh, my child! Look out, he's leaving. I'll take care of him. He'll take care of me. Take care of him. He'll help me, George. He hit his head. He's unconscious. T-Boom, look out, please. Get some water. Come inside, Eve. But Jock, he's her husband. I'm not from now on. I'm taking care of that. She's going to marry me, aren't you, darling? No, no. That's just gravy. You'll be all right. Help me carry him upstairs. And pulse like a trip hammer. Oh, Skipper. Skipper, look at me. Oh, poor Skipper. You'd better leave the Skipper to me. I'll see that he gets back to Paris all right. Oh, are you and Jock planning an autumn wedding? Oh, nice kind of wedding. As we turn from the altar, I start explaining, I suppose. My dear, you know it's amazing how little one has to explain to a man in love. Mm-hmm. When he stops being in love? Well, that's when the alimony will begin. Oh, listen. You've always heard how hard it is to be honest. Let me tell you, it's a cinch. What's tough is to be a good competent crook. Oh. Oh, leave me alone with it. All right. I'll be outside if you need me. Skipper. Skipper, are you feeling better? Oh. It's all right, darling. It's me. It's Eve. Where are we? In the chateau. You hit your head. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, you told him I was crazy. Yeah, you'll feel better on the way home. It'll take two men pushing and two men pulling to get me away from here. Oh, but, darling, I'm going with you. Going where? Back to Paris. Isn't that what you came here for, to take me away? Uh, now what's the catch? Oh, now, Skipper, you can't back out. Now, you told me you wanted to marry me. So, well, what's come over you? Well, I try to be practical, but it's no use. Oh, it didn't work, huh? What? Your little stunt downstairs. Oh, come on, Skipper. No, it's too bad you didn't land that fathead's yuck-peaco. He's not a fathead. Why, because he found you out? I can tell when a bare-ness has had a swift kick. Listen, you big, giddy-it, yuck-peaco just proposed to me. Ah! Are you surprised somebody else wants to marry me? You said no, I suppose. I said nothing, but if you keep on, I'll say yes. That's fine. That's where I step in. Oh, what can you do? Don't forget you're married to me. I'm not married to you. Well, yuck-peaco thinks you are. You're in a fine mess now. You are. You got to get a divorce from a man you aren't even married to. All right, I'll get a divorce. All right, just try it. Well, watch me. Well, is it settled? Uh, settled, except for a small formality. All we need now is a good divorce lawyer. Next case on the calendar. Action for divorce. Jenny against Jenny. George, I'm scared. What about? Suppose the judge finds out we're not married. Quiet. He won't find out. Oh, George, how are your jails and friends? Now, don't worry. But suppose the skipper decides not to play ball. I came up in the elevator with him. He was very friendly. Oh, I don't like that. When he's friendly. Are you darling? Oh, hello, George. Now, everything will be all right, darling. I hope so. I know it will. In half an hour, you'll be free, and in a week, we'll be married. I'll be waiting. All right. Let me see. This action, Madame Charny, is represented by... Madame Le Bon. Here. Yes, and the defendant, Baron Charny. This is a republic. I prefer to be known as Mr. Charny. Good. Who's your lawyer? I shall look out for my own interests. Among your papers, I don't seem to find the marriage certificate. There is none. They were married in Shanghai. Oh, married in Shanghai. I admit the marriage. Well, you'd hardly be asking me to divorce you. You'd never been married, would you? Yes. Your grounds for asking this divorce are... Mental cruelty. Oh, that again, huh? Suppose you describe this mental cruelty. May it please the court, my client can testify under oath that in all the time she and the defendant have been together, he is objected to every one of her actions. During that period, he tried to break up every friendship she formed. Yeah. He used abuse of language, while alone with the plaintiff and in the presence of others. What language? He called her a gold digger, for one thing. And then... Wait! I've had enough. This is a familiar picture to me, and I find it deplorable that two grown-up people are unable to iron out their own childish squabbles. There's a very healthy law in Albania, I think it is, that a husband may bring his wife back to her senses by spanking her, not more than nine blows with any instrument not larger than a broomstick. What do you say to that, madame? Oh, I say it's a fine rule, Your Honor. A husband should have that privilege, and no wife would resent it if she knew he loved her. But, Your Honor, did he ever say I love you? Not once. Not when I was ready to give up everything and scrub floors for him if that was necessary. Oh, now, I was wrong in the beginning. I admit that. Then I came to think he was the only thing that mattered. I didn't care what he had, or who he was, a baron or a gutter sweep. Is that so incredible? Your Honor, wouldn't you believe a woman if she said it? If she stood like a beggar with a tin cup waiting for you to drop in three little words, I love you, or I believe you, or anything warm and human. But no, do you know what he said, Your Honor? He said, is that so? And he said it with a smirking, cynical grin. Now, do you know what I call that? Mental cruelty. Thank you, Your Honor. As a judge who has been sitting on this bench for 35 years, I want to say that that is as sincere a plea as I've ever heard. Mr. Charnish, he's still your wife. Before the law grants her her freedom, you have the right to answer her accusations. No answer. In other words, you're not contesting this divorce? I am not. You mean you're letting a woman like that slip through your fingers? Don't you want to say something? I just want some water. What's that? Water. A basin full of water. What are you talking about? It's very simple. All I want is some hot water. The hotter the better. What for? I want to shave myself. Shave? Shave here in this court? Sure. I always shave in court. I even brought my razor. See? Put that razor away. Why? I've shaved in better courts than this. I've shaved in courts all over Europe. Young man, are you insane? Oh, I get very cross when people say that to me. I eat things. Hold that, man. He's crazy. No, no, no. No, your honor, he's not crazy. That's the neck. Quiet. Quiet, or I'll have this courtroom cleared. Quiet. Essential information has been withheld in this court. I want witnesses as to the mental condition of the defendant. If it pleases the court, it's not a violent case. It's just that he thinks he's a taxi driver or a fisherman. Quiet. Quiet. Young woman, you almost succeeded in wheedling this court into what would have been a serious miscarriage of justice. According to the wise provisions of the French law, no divorce can be granted where either party is mentally unstable. What? Go home with your unfortunate husband, young woman, and get it out of your head that you can ever get rid of it. Divorce refused. Case dismissed. Don't worry, darling. We'll get you a divorce in Mexico or in Russia anywhere. No, Jacques. Of course we can. It's simple. Jacques, you've had a stroke of luck. What do you mean? You mustn't ever get married. It would be unfair to so many women. You're turning me down. No, Jacques. I'm setting you free. Goodbye. Eve, wait. Well, George, it certainly was a flop, wasn't it? Well, not entirely. I'm sorry about your wife. Oh, that's all settled. She's through with Jacques. She's waiting for me at home. Oh, well, it's nice somebody got a break. Goodbye, George. Thanks for everything. If you need some money, I should be all right. No, thanks. I'll be all right. That was a nice act you put on, Skipper. Yeah, I thought it was all right myself. Taxi, what was that? No, thanks. Oh, step right in. We're just going around the corner. What for? To the licensed bureau. Oh, listen, Skipper, you'd better think it over. Oh, I have thought it over. I will promise to manage on 40 francs a day. Who said 40? With you around, I'll make as much as we want. Anything is possible. Don't argue it out. Come on. Skipper. Well, I'm glad to see you took my advice, young woman. Oh, hello, Your Honor. You have been wonderful, Your Honor. We really didn't want a divorce, did we, darling? No, we didn't, Your Honor. Well, I'm glad to hear it. And where are you going now? To get married. Oh, yeah. What? We bring to a close tonight's performance a midnight with Claudette Colbert and Don Amici. In a moment, our stars return for their curtain calls. But while we're waiting, listen to this. Hear that clock? Morning, noon, and night. Three times a day, seven days a week, the dishes have to be washed. You can't get around it. But you can make it pleasanter the way thousands of women have. That's with new quick lux. It helps do away with one of the things women hate most about dish washing, the red, rough housework look it gives your hands. Yes, new quick lux is kind to hands. This was recently proved by hundreds of dramatic one-hand tests made in a laboratory under conditions similar to home dish washing. Five different soaps frequently used for dish washing, including lux, were tested. Three times a day for weeks, hundreds of women dipped one hand in lux suds, the other in suds from another soap. The results were amazing. The lux hands looked so much softer and smoother than the other hands. Lovely hands are such an important part of a woman's charm. You want yours to stay soft and smooth, of course. So why not try new quick lux in your dish pan tomorrow? Will you do that? It's the same familiar box and it cost you no more. It's fast, thrifty, and so kind to your hands. Here's Mr. DeMille with our stars. Paris having done its duty by the Baroness and the taxi driver, they now return to this microphone undisguised as Claudette Colbert and Donna Michi for a well-earned curtain call. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. It was really a lot of fun doing the play here in the Lux Radio Center with Don. The same goes for me, Claudette. Oh, really? Oh, now I'd rather like the idea of Don as a crocus. Yeah, well, I don't. What do you mean we're a sign of spring, ZB? Well, just about the same time every year we seem to have a play for you or Claudette. But this year, because of the severe winter in many parts of the country, we brought you here together as a kind of guarantee that spring had come. It's probably starting to snow somewhere right now. You know, ZB, it isn't that we doubt your infallibility as a weather prophet, but wouldn't you be on safer ground with a well-say next week's show? All right, Don. Next Monday night, we're going to have Olivia de Havilland, Herbert Marshall, and Helen Chandler in Vigil in the Night, the RKO picture based on the novel by A.J. Cronin. In the play, we'll go behind the scenes of a hospital with Olivia as a nurse and Herbert Marshall as a doctor, and watch drama you never see from the hospital's front door, the fight for life itself. But doctors and nurses do fall in love just like other people. And that's also part of our play, Vigil in the Night, which we present next Monday night with Olivia de Havilland, Herbert Marshall, and Helen Chandler. It was an exciting picture, ZB. I'm anxious to hear it on the air. Good night. Good night, everyone. Good night. Now, that string is out to you, too, all the time. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Olivia de Havilland and Herbert Marshall in Vigil in the Night with Helen Chandler. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. Heard in tonight's play were Gail Gordon as George Flammarian, Fred Mackay as Jacques Picot, Rosemary de Camp as Helen Flammarian, Ralph Zidane as Marcel, Lou Merrill as Judge, Warren Ash as Le Bon, Ted Bliss as Leon, Julius Butler, John Lake as Dorman, James Eagles as Hotel Clerk and Victor Rodman as Porter. Claudette Colbert is now working in the MGM picture, Boomtown. Don Amici's current picture is the 20th Century Fox production, Lillian Russell. He appears tonight through the courtesy of the Old Gold Program. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers. Millions of innocent men, women, children and old people in horrible agony in Europe's war. The American Red Cross needs a minimum of $10 million for European war relief now. Give all you can immediately through your local Red Cross chapter. Your announcer has been Melville Ruick. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.