 No, alright, here we are, because they've read the title of the video, so there's no surprise, there's no... We're watching Winnie the Pooh and The Quest for... Belovedness. Belovedness. Quest for understanding the power of belovedness. Hardcore Henry and The Quest for the 100-acre wood. We just randomly decided to throw this film on. I don't know if you've heard of it or anything. It's apparently some kind of weird tabletop RPG movie tie-in with Power Rangers or something. Goko Power Ranger. It's pretty neat. It's apparently... It's not hyper-violent in any way, shape or form, so... Well, that's good. I figured we'd check it out, you know, give it a shot, give it the old EFAP Aruni. Wait, it's just gonna be you and I? Is this gonna be it? I feel like it's gonna be fun, maybe, and we're just gonna... We're just gonna check it out. How wonderful. EFAP movies, Hardcore Henry. 2015, 1080p, Blu-ray, could it be... Well, I'm watching it on PC, so... If you swap the H's on Hardcore Henry, it becomes Hardcore Henry. Is that one of them that are palindromes? Hardcore Henry's a palindrome because you could swap all the H's and move all the H's around, and it still says Hardcore Henry. It's kind of amazing how English works. English... I said English. I didn't mean to. English is amazing. Anger-ish, the language of the angry. I think the language of the angry is just called yelling. Yeah, but language of the angry sounds more sophisticated instead of yelling. Maybe the language of the perturbed. Either way, you good to go? I am good to go. I'm ready to check this movie out. I'm gonna see if it says... They've really been building this up, so... This better be better than Lord of the Rings, okay? Better be better than Lord of the Rings. I'd watch a first person Lord of the Rings adventure. Starring Boromir, taking back Osgiliath, because Boromir lost it. But it'll be from the Hobbit's perspective, so everyone's super tall, and you're always looking up to everybody, and all the tables are super high. You keep eating, just loads of meals, smoking. Oh yeah, it would be mostly pipeweed smoke, and just the first person view of you stuffing food into your mouth. Yeah, anyway, do you want zero? I'm on zero. Oh my god. Bam. Whoa. Movie isn't hardcore. Oh my god, it's made by the people who made Jurassic Park. It's made by the people who made Earth. Wait, people made Earth? What the fuck? I bet you didn't know that Earth wasn't even real. Did they make it? It's all part of the Illuminati NASA conspiracy, my dude. Oh right, first person bullying. They've decapitated an innocent robot. I haven't done first person bullying since. Well, don't worry about that. What's Jake Lloyd here gonna do? On the left, you got Frowny Friend, and on the right, it's Chungus Man. Also, this could be set in the future. That could actually be a robot they've murdered. Oh. Hang on, I'm gonna say. You couldn't have just really, uh... I don't know why they wouldn't throw a real one at a wall. Yeah, why didn't you do that? I guess because they wanted to smash it into loads of pieces. Then they could have gotten a toy that was made in China. Made of China. Little... Oh look, it's Tim Roth. Ew, those knuckles are fucked. They're fuckles. So is there a soft core, Henry? I think he used to be soft core, and now he's... Oh, we're not from the point of view of the bat, but above the bat. Oh, look at that. Beautiful. Oh my god. Oh my goodness. I feel like I've seen that. The shot of a pistol from directly down, watching it shoot, and another thing. I think the Matrix did that loads, or first. Oh my god. Stivity, stability, bottle in the cavity. Oh no, a neck. Oh no. It'll be fine. That's going right in. He's fine. He's got a knife-proof neck. Oh, that looks pretty good. Yeah, that looks pretty good. Looks way better than the robot. Oh, another pistol one. Yeah, that shot. I've seen that shot so many times in films. Uh-oh. Oh, cool. Oh, is all of that what happened to our protagonist here? Oh, maybe. He got fucked up. Yeah, he did. Wait, why does it now look like a photo? Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, you took off his head? Or are you trying to... Like the robot. Dude, if this film ends with his face getting thrown at a wall and exploding, I'll understand the point of the robot. I used to be soft core, Henry. Oh, is that like an iron? Ew. Oh no, here we are. Dude, he was sleeping. What the fuck? It seems kind of weird that they would like turn him on and then turn the pool. I don't know. It's weird. Oh, he's not got an arm. Oh, he's got an armor! No, Henry. It's actually Mr. Henry. He can just call me hardcore. He can't speak. Oh, he's also missing a leg. Damn. You will be lordy. We can remake him. Oh, they really can remake him. This is why I like the future. It's going to sting. Oh, is it? Oh, that's it. You think it would weld all the way around? Just a little. Yeah. No, that was just a little. Like, wouldn't it be like a pez now? Can't let him turn my air off. Turn my leg, my turning arm off. Squeeze my apple again. Don't do it. Also, symbolism. She gave him an apple. Oh my goodness. Don't take it. Maybe this will change your mind. Right? What the fuck? Oh. You're going to clean up that apple? You're going to eat that. You're contaminating the laboratory equipment with your squished apple. Weld his leg. Redo his tattoo. Sorry, tattoos are a surcharge. No. You're looking good, Henry. Okay, can we kill people now? This almost feels like a game. It's an o-ring. It's made this. Oh, shit. Oh, it's the creepy knuckles. Wait, if they were his creepy knuckles, was the intro him being the shadow people? Henry. His memories are still catching up. Henry, we were just practicing our band music. I'll be very concerned about all of this. I'll be like, you guys know what you're doing? We're kind of bad because we don't know any songs. Please drink in Alcatism. You're going to get to pick your own voice. Henry, I am your father. Robert, enough. Oh, my goodness. I said he was Darth Vader and I didn't even see his voice. Oh, my God. Nice. Oh, I think we're going to kill people. That means this is your voice now. Oh, sorry. He ends up with the actual Darth Vader one. Oh, kill him. Look him up. Oh, no. What is, what are we doing? Oh, it's our badman. It's Dr. This is an eccentric villain. I know that. Hello. I'm Dante from the Devil May Cry series. I'm going to shut off below the below the elbow and the leg. Oh, God. His eyes were missing. I'm going to kill that guy in there. The bottom half of his jaw was. Yeah, I mean it's pieces. I'm getting Alice vibes. Yeah. Whoa, he's telekinetic. Oh, that seemed a bit much. Oh, are they letting me do that? Whoa. Music lives. Man, this is the power of Rockles. The bad guys have the force and they still suck. Do you want us to hide or do you want me to yell? I don't know. The banking gets ahold of my work. Men like these we brought back from the dead to form his army. What? Oh, that's an army of Rubik Lloyds. What are you going to do? No, we can both fit in. You're not. You're not very big for one rags. Oh, okay. Get in. Oh, see, I told you. I was expecting them to do the movie thing. Like, no, only one person could go with them. It reminds me of the Simpsons joke where Mr. Baird uses one. Smith is like, for the love of God, sir, there are two seats. I like to put my feet up. Oh my God. What are we going to see? Is it going to be like a cyberpunk world or a Mad Max world? Or a regular world. Those are easier to CGI. Hey, drop that woman. It's our woman. Oh. Oh God, he's probably Russian. Oh my God, he's Russian. He just looked Russian. The Russians not have a name for boyfriend. No way they don't have a have a word for boyfriend. Oh, geez. Oh, if only we made our army taser friends. Wait, they tased us off a bridge. A building? Wow. Oh, wow. How did those fall onto it? What made the streetlights fall onto it? What a strange morning. What an odd world. Wait, what? Well, I could not believe this happened. This is so weird. Oh, Mondays. Am I not correct? Oh, he's going to get killed by the evil corrupt policemen. Hello. Knew it. Why would they kill him now? It seems like that would already cause the problem. Before he died, he said he was behind the white van, but I don't know what that means. Is it a code? Stop speaking your riddles, old man. Stealth is optional for this mission. Doesn't have any weapons, though. Oh, let this be a weapons cache. Do it. Wow, well done. No, it's a car cache. That was a dusty car. Yeah, you'd think that in here it wouldn't be all that dusty. Oh, we got us a weapon. Oh, yeah. Get ready to get wiped. Oh, oh, geez. Oh my God. What the fuck? He's a very purple car. There's a spooky car. Oh, the car's inside. What? Why is the keys? What the fuck? He's playing like me in The Last of Us 2. Whoa. Whoa, he jumped onto it. Nice job, other car. Oh, and then another car hit it? Yeah. Oh, but that's a good person car. Oh, it's a Goodman. I'm a secret agent. Oh, man. I know that guy. He's from District 9. He's a speech module installed. Yeah. What's this accent? He's trying to do English, but he's like, he's from New Zealand, I think. In fairness, he's usually pretty awesome, actually. It should be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, well, the good news is that you're going to live a while. The bad news is that in this case, a while means 20, 30 minutes tops. Henry, I'm going to have to find you some health pack scattered around the racetrack. It is where we are. By completely optional missions and objectives, you could acquire battery packs that extend your life expectancy. Headshots will give you double performance. Oh, are you making an eagle right? Oh, he speaks Russian, too. Oh, geez. Everyone's in on it, even the police. Not the security guards, though. Oh. Oh, no. Is that game over? Do we start again? You failed to escort your man. Just restart and try again. Hello. Everyone, they stopped following us for a while, so could you, uh... And if you have a person charger. That one dude at the beginning of that shooting. Yeah, the guy in the blue? Yeah, what did he do? He did not look like he did. He's like, oh, is that the cue? Oh. Yeah, I guess I should move. Hello, I need a tie. Did you check who's in here? Hello. I mean, why would you check? I mean, they were like four feet behind him, so you think they'd see? Oh, there we are. Oh, no. Oh, you will tackle you. Oh, geez. I do security for Amaya. Oh, my goodness. Oh, what? Oh. Also, I got that reference, so just now my brain is like, Amaya. Yeah. I don't forget that show, Rex. I wish I could. It's just nonstop today, huh? I wanted to bump into, like, another... No, he's got to put up with public transportation. That's the same guy playing a bum now. I recognize your face. Don't try and fool me. Doesn't matter who you are. Yeah. I'm sorry. How are you? Are you a robot like me? Why are you? Your friend, A-Cant, has got an important Russian connection. He's like... He's like a... No, he's like the guy from The Last of Us 2. Tommy, he's like Tommy. He gets shot in the head, but he's okay. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I feel like after this point, with the blood, the arm is tracking this conversation, people would be moving away. Yeah, I feel like people would be really... I'd be moving away. I feel like this is... He's gonna shoot him. Is this... Why didn't you... He clearly had a gun there. Yeah, you clearly couldn't get the fuck up. Also, it's not gonna be his thing. He just keeps dying. I'm okay with that, by the way. I find that abusing. I'm just curious how it works. Good shot. I'll be in touch. Yeah, he's gonna come back, I guess, yeah. Oh, it's cool. TT33, 34. That's cool. We only send one guy. It's kind of fucking weird that we just made that decision. It's also weird that we sent our flamethrower unit. Like, I don't know, maybe we sent a guy with a gun. These is no swimming zone. Punch him. Run away. Slavs! Oh, my macaw. Oh, they step on glass. Oh, here we are. I am just having the worst day. Hello there. Is that CGI Smoke? Is that Left 4 Dead poster? Oh, Left 4 Dead poster. Neat. Maybe you should just walk around like you belong here. And not with a gun pointed everywhere. So I'd just be walking around and be like, Yeah, just wait until one of them goes, Hey, who are you? And you go, Oh, I am Vicillus. I live here. I am Boris. We'll talk you about what could just do, yeah. There's someone in there. I knew it. Hello. What do you want me to do? Oh, good job. Oh, good job. Francis, what does this hold? Quite a few. New gun. Yeah. Oh, these guys suck. That felt like he moved like in a game, like he loaded the new area and the previous area is gone now. Oh, yeah. Whatever happened back there, it doesn't matter now, really. Oh my God. He's already dead. I don't know who this is though. What do we, what do we see? If we don't stop him, he'll have his army and days are sooner. What? Oh, he got up so quietly. Is he a robotoid too? What the fuck? How did you know that was the specific moment? Very interesting. Because he's a super robot and he's super smart. I guess he was just lucky. That's an interesting strategy. Poking your head or out through the door that he knew you went through. Hoping he wouldn't. Oh, he dropped his shotgun. I think he's just gone. What's the deal with that guy? I don't know. I guess he's a robot man. Why is he only this far? Ah, darn. You're half machine, half pussy. Okay. I'm sorry the staircase was so crowded. Do you know how it is in Russia where we are? Where a big evil man go... Oh, hello. Oh, he was talking his shoe. Lucky for me. This is such a strange film. Wow. Die for him. Jump, jump, jump. You got him. You were so close. Oh, now he's all further ahead. You got him out of the frame just long enough to... Got him. You could have grabbed the Cove. This is like video games where you're not allowed to catch up to them just yet sort of thing. Wow, woman. You got in the way. It was all her fault. Oh, no. Have a drink. Ah, we hate art. What's happening? I can tell you something very important about the man who sent you here. I'm gonna shoot him. Told you. Well, yeah, it was... It just felt so right, didn't it? I'm going to tell you something very important. It's like, boom. Oh, hello. All right. What is... What's the sniper doing? Yeah, I feel like he had a lot of time to make his shot there. Oh, he's going to eat hearts to stay alive, right? Oh, Jesus. Okay. Follow the door and then just knock on the knocker. Get it? Knock on the knocker. Oh, no. Please be boobs. Somewhere. Hello. Yay, we got some. Oh, no. Oh, no. Come on. I assume we're low on battery. Boobies, get him in the frame. Do it. Sorry, I'm in no condition to do this, mate. I'm in no condition. But if you knew he was coming to get the part, then why did you use all the cocaine and the drugs and the boobies? Oh, this one's like a more of a scientist one. He's going to be better at doing that. I wonder if we'll get an explanation for this creature. I realize this is all very confusing for you. It's better if I show you at the lab, yes, and I'll... Oh. I feel like we're going to get attacked again. This whole movie feels so video game-y. Yeah. That wasn't too bad as far as the CGI went. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty good. What the fuck? Oh, gee, okay. They just went through it. Oh, rip that good. That's not even his robotoid foot. Wow. Whoa. If only we could have heard him trying to get in a moment ago. Oh my God. Oh, all right. Hi, do I know you? Oh, I guess I do. I honestly, I didn't even realize the goal was to get it back. Oh, I didn't either. I thought it was to... Find who did this to... I don't even know what I thought that it was supposed to be. Oh, that dude in the background's head was moving. I saw that. Quick, they're going to blow us up. Oh, did that knock us out? Oh, gg. Okay. All right. Get the knife. He doesn't need it anymore. I'm out of the truck, I guess, and so we can have another reset button scene. It all comes back to this. I guess they think he's dead. Man, this happens a lot, huh? Yeah, I guess it does. Where you guys fucked up was not making sure he was dead. Man, it's probably not a wise idea to just stay at the place you killed him all. There he goes. Oh, I'm here. Oh, shit. The sword's good against tanks. Probably not. Why do you think this is Prometheus? Just... Yeah, just... There's many options you have. This is the weird... No, you don't want to run in front of it far away. Why would you do that? That's where I think his idea... Why? The weirdest fucking option. Oh, he got blown into the tree. Oh, no, the tank is knocking down the tree so that he's on the tank now. Who just jumped on the tank? This is what I'd be good with. I don't know. That's kind of what I would have done. I would have gotten on the tank so it can't shoot me with its big tank gun. Oh, my sword. Wait, what? Oh, okay. Oh. Why? It's again like a video game. You get on top of it. The guys come out. No, why aren't they shooting from there? Why would you... Why would you want to use the tank? Like from a filmmaking point of view, I mean. Just cut the rope. Oh, there he is. Hey, he cut the rope. Wait, why are we flying diagonally? Oh, no. The one... Yay. Ha-ha. He missed the like... What is that? I mean, that just happened. I'm confused. Suddenly horse. Okay. Was the whole sequence just to be like... There's a fake out, I guess. So the ultimate goal is saving the girl, yeah? Oh. Wait, what is... What's his name? McMillan's, right? Captain Price. No, but Price's... Price's the boss in the Sniper mission. I think it's McMillan. Oh, thanks for not shooting. Okay. Oh, fuck. All right, then. Dude. Ow, that bullet would have just went right through that guy and killed that. Look at that rifle. That's totally... Wow. Oh my god. Oh, wow. There's a secret lab here in this abandoned place that we were next to where the cops wanted to rape that one girl. Not essential to soldiers. Personal memories, speech, sense of taste, it's all gone. I feel like speech is really important for soldiers. Yeah, when you need speech. To communicate with people. The communication is really important. Have a seat, Henry. He's been cloning himself. Fancy pants, prosthesis, don't dare tell. My avatars. Remarkable technology, is it not? I'm all saying. Good job with the camera work. Because obviously it's the same dude. Skank says, you're in terrible danger. Have been shipped for being a traitor. You're lying, grasser. What is happening? I guess... Oh, you... Oh. Wow. You spat in the machine and it blew up. You beamed your video to Aiken. You brought him to my lab. I trusted you. Thank you, Henry. Fuck you, Aiken. Don't change your channel. We're coming right over. I counted six vehicles. That's at least 35 men. Yeah, but they know exactly where we are because of the broadcast, right? You haven't deactivated the broadcast. You shouldn't be together. You should split up, at least. I'm all confused. They should know this. Yeah, they know exactly where he is. They should really have noticed there's a sniper by now. Geez. He's not kick. Like bullet storm. That was the name of it, right? Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Oh, okay. It's cutscene time. Lucky they weren't surrounded, actually, only from one half of the building. Yeah, I guess. All right. We stopped. We blew up three vads that we moved off. Now we're going. Now it's night time. Oh, headquarters. Cool. Oh, we just drove right up to the front. Look out. It's the flamin'. What's red and bad for your team? Oh, a brick. I guess so. Wasn't he on fire when we last saw him? Yeah, I guess only his legs. For still. I'm going to buy you some time. Okay. Why do you think what happened? We had him for that long just for him to do that. Just okay. What was the plan? I'm going to run the medimet with guns with an axe. I think he's dead for real now. I think so. What the fuck is this? Okay. Oh, that was insanely lame. All they remember is waking up in the lap with their wives screwing their legs on. I love you, Thomas. Oh, my goodness. They are wives. Go ahead. Oh, my goodness. Dude, that guy is big. He's going to have three health bars. Oh, wow. Oh, geez. He's a big boy. See, you definitely knocked out two health bars already. It's like you stunlocked him and you're only doing one hit point at a time, but you get stunlocked him. Oh, really? Oh, he's putting the new super power pack into him. Whoa, I'm on the juice. We're going to beat him all to death, aren't we? Now we're on the same power level. Wait, what? Oh, we're doing kill built. These are all super soldiers, right? How come he's better than all of them? Yeah, I was going to say they're all the same. Shouldn't they be like in thing? I thought they were like better robots than he is. But he put the new power pack into him and definitely a case of let's each wait for our turn. Also, just why are we wasting all of these dudes? Just use force, man. Like that. Okay. Oh, no, he got spinal talent. Oh, no. Oh, no, I've been knocked off the tower with his telephased powers. What? Why did they do that? Oh, guns. Oh, well, gee. What? Are these like zombies? Like what? They are definitely cyborgs. Yeah, they suck. That's what happens in media all the time. Yeah, well, like, this is my army of super cyborgs. Oh, he's got the big grenade. That thing must have been really sharp. Wow. And you probably should have just opened with just throw him off the building. Seems like you lost a lot of your resources for no reason, dude. Yeah, your whole building and all of your guys and You owe me an apology. She's evil. I think we knew that from I thought you were a bit lying. Are you going to wait here? Swallow that blood in your mouth. Are you going to stand up, spit it out, and go spill theirs? Oh, I wanted to see the kids get fucked up. Wait, how is this possible? It's like a lot of movies do this. It was all part of my plan and then they still lose. I used the telekinesis to destroy the telekinesis. Like, why does he suck? Wait, what? Why would you do that? I have so many questions. I have many questions as well. Wait, how did you do that? Where did all the excess cord go? Why was that cord so long? Why would you wrap the veins of your eye around his head instead of the bob wire? Where is he? Oh, I guess he just pulled out a gun. I feel like we just cut to having a gun there. What? It bounced off his hand and ricocheted in her arm. Wait, I think that hit her in the heart. Oh, the heart. Oh, the show? Wait, what? Okay. Love me. Wait, did she just fall out of the fucking helicopter? I guessed, but it cut away for just a moment so we could have her hanging from it. Listen to your heart! What? Why are you saying that? Also, what a strange... What just happened? Okay, we did it. We watched Hardcore Henry. We watched Hardcore Henry, everyone. It's a, like, cool idea, and there's cool bits. Lots of really great camera work and trickery with the actors. Yeah, some good stuff in there. Fucking plot light is garbage. I mean, I guess I'm lucky that all the bad guys are really, really, really, really stupid. Yeah, what the fuck was the force guy doing the whole time? And how does he have the force? Does he just... I don't know. I guess they never explained that. I thought they were gonna explain it, but they never did. Maybe they did. We missed it. I don't know. That little, like, boss ending where he, like, he rises up and starts to pick up all the things around him. I'm just like, what are you doing? Just pick up Hardcore Henry and throw him off the building. That's all you're gonna do. Yeah, like, I'm gonna do is push him off the building. Gravity will take care of it. Hardcore Henry knocked, like, four dudes off the building. He knows what's up. You know what? Better yet, pick him up and separate him into two pieces. How about that? Horseman, I'm so stupid. So, I had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't be very good at all, but there'd be some stuff to like in there, and I feel like I was right. I feel like that's a perfectly good way to explain this movie. I feel like this is a good start. Let's do a lot more with this. One of the things I heard about Hardcore Henry is that it's exhausting. I was not exhausted at all. Um, I could see why people think it's exhausting, though. Oh, especially for a first person. I think it's because I've played so many video games I didn't really mind. Probably, yeah. But I can absolutely see why there are people out there who just come out of that tired. Well, there are downs and ups. To me, it really felt like a video game. Every doubt is just some quest giver explaining something before you can like, can I shoot people again, please? And then they're like, we're under attack. Oh no, here's the gun. Oh no, quick. It feels like it was made by someone who loves video games. Lots of good little set pieces, wonderful violence, and you got your boobies in there too. Yeah, got some of those in. Squeezed a few in just to, you know, just for good measure. I give it a neat. Yeah, I give it a neat out of 10. Now everyone has to get together and decide the next movie that you're going to vlog us about watching. Next year's movie. You gotta see. I don't even know what they say. Uncle Henry II. Uncle Henry II. Electric bulladoo. Force man. He pulled out his own eye to wrap it around his head and chop the head off. That was the most absurd thing I think I've ever seen. So many things to like, you could have just punched him, but it probably would have been more effective. But yeah, it took his head off. It's like, wow. You know what? I think the movie's not supposed to be taken seriously. That's what I think. You know, I'm getting that suspicion. I am getting that suspicion. It was, I'm glad I watched it. I'm glad they made it. I, they look like they had a whole bunch of fun making it. I had fun watching it. It's absurd. Yeah, I had fun watching it too. It is absurd and not in a bad way. Plenty of garbage in there, but in a fun way. Yeah, objectively, a lot of issues, but it was fun. It was, it was fun. It was fun to watch. Well, that's hardcore Henry. Thanks for, uh, suggesting. Thanks for, thanks for getting us to watch that, everybody. Good shit. Yeah, that was exciting. Happy EFAP 100. This will probably be released around or after. Hardcore Henry. EFAP movies. Dutterdusted. Wonderful. Boop, boop, boop. Hooray. Hooray. Bam, boom. Explosion noise. Say goodbye to the nice, the nice chat. Goodbye to the nice chat. Kaboom. Explosion noises. In, in editing, have like a explosion, like a CGI explosion, like you get on YouTube, a green screen, how to go. Have it come out of Rags' mouth, and then hit the logo on the top right, and then bounce into the screen and fill the screen. Yeah. So let me go. And then you can have a camera out there, and bullets are flying everywhere, and we're doing backflips off helicopters. Yeah, only on EFAP. Only on EFAP. Goodbye. Bye. You're gonna get to pick your own voice. What'd you bring me?