 When you tell the narcissist that they are a narcissist you've studied the information on narcissistic personality disorder and gained an understanding of what it is and it makes you feel like you should tell the narcissist that they are a narcissist. You might think that it will help them to see the faults that they have made. You might think that it will make them want to seek help and change their ways but it rarely works out that way. When you call them out on what they're doing it usually makes them worse. If you tell them that they're a narcissist they're not going to accept it. They're just going to say that you're the narcissist. Whenever you bring up a narcissist's faults or mistakes they're not going to own it. In their minds this false self that they have constructed is perfect and cannot do anything wrong. So if you try to confront them on their faults and mistakes they just go to deflect it onto you. They will make you feel as though you're doing something wrong by confronting them or they will shift the blame onto you or bring up something from your past. Whatever it takes to take the heat off of them but they will not accept that they have made a fault or mistake. They are shame-based individuals doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. So they are not going to entertain the idea that they are the problem. They are not going to identify themselves with anything negative regardless of how they act or behave. They will only associate themselves with positive things. People generally view the word narcissist as something negative. As something imperfect or faulty. And that is why they cannot identify themselves as being a narcissist. But when people find this information and they recognize these traits in a relationship partner, family member or friend. They often feel compelled to tell them as though they think it will suddenly awaken them and then they will be able to change. But it doesn't work out in that way. When you tell them that they're a narcissist it just makes them feel fear and shame. And as we know when narcissists feel fear or shame they attack. Which is why I do not recommend telling them that they're a narcissist. Most narcissists are not educated on narcissistic personality disorder. And even if you bring this information to them. It does not mean that they are going to understand it. It will be like you're speaking a different language. Although the word narcissist has gone mainstream now. Many people do not fully understand what it means. They just know that it's something negative. So if you tell the narcissist that they're a narcissist. They're just going to take it as an insult. Another reason to fight with you. Telling the narcissist that they are a narcissist. It's not an effective way of dealing with these situations. Most of them are not aware that they are narcissists. It is not something that they would ever associate themselves with. They believe that they are above anything that is negative or defective. And it will be like telling them that there's something wrong with them. When they have constructed this false self that is perfect in their minds. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and abilities. So they are going to see it as something that is beneath them. Even though they may have many traits of narcissistic personality disorder. And they may be proud of their ability to manipulate and control people. They see manipulation, deception, exploitation, lying, cheating and stealing. Praying on your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. As behaviors that show high moral standards. Qualities that are considered morally good or desirable in a person. An advantage or benefit. A useful quality because it gets them what they want. And they believe that it makes them superior to other people. They know that they're liars. They know that they manipulate people. They know that they're exploitative. But they do not associate that with having a disorder. They do not associate it with them being narcissists. Because in their minds, they know exactly what they are doing. And they are doing it consciously and intentionally. It's a strategy. A plan of action. They see narcissists as people who are unaware and don't know what they're doing. While they have a reason for doing it. They have an intentional objective. They don't ever consider that narcissist as well as all of the other cluster B disorders do know exactly what they are doing. Which would include them. They know exactly what they are doing. They just don't care. They have no pity or compassion for you. They're not even thinking about the pain they cause to you. But they are fully aware of what they are doing. They just don't see anything wrong with it. As long as it gets them what they want. As long as the situation works out in their favor. They will do whatever it takes to win in any way possible. Regardless of the consequences. Regardless of anyone who gets hurt in the process. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you're delighted to meet, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coach the inquiries you can hear me at 95ercoaching.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.