 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin I'm trying to play this over my phone to avoid getting picked up by copyright. That's enough But I can do a dramatic reading maybe lucky. There's a family man Lucky, there's a man who? Positively can do I don't I don't think this is landing and Today we're playing family man, which is nothing to do with the popular show family dude We played this already on the channel, but don't worry if you missed it. It's not worth watching two videos of me Honestly, one is enough. I don't want you getting sick of me, but it basically involves your kind of being blackmailed by the mob And you're trying to pay them off each day while also taking care of your family. It's a quirky game I think you'll love it to prove that I just want to show you my inventory where I have two dead ducks It's animal bones. I think that's all I needed to say. Let's get started newspaper Oh, yeah, this is my friend that I accidentally killed and that's why I'm being blackmailed. He's dead now Okay, that's today's dead cleared but to avoid another debt I need to get medicine for my son who is dying. Well, hey there citizen. Hey sheriff. How you doing? I would be doing just fine, but for one little problem. I have a hunger that just won't quit He's talking about exotic tasty stuff, and I'm kind of worried where this is going The officer wants me to steal lemons from the church It seems like a setup I don't know if this is a good or bad deed because I'm helping the law, but I'm stealing from the church either way I'm on board. I really hope God isn't angry though. Like I'm a loyal Catholic boy other other than this one thing You're not angry. Are you? Maybe I should take that as a sign, but I'm gonna choose it was coincidence. Is this the priest? Hello, father Father I must confess. Yes my child confess to me. Actually, I just need some of those lemons It is forbidden to pick them. Who do you think I am Adam or Eve? Are you fucking serious? You wouldn't try to steal them. Would you I definitely won't try to steal them I wouldn't do that. God. He's naive. I really want to punch the priest I'm doing everything in my power to not like I'll have to load. I'd have to go all the way back I care resisted beat up the priest beat him up. Where's your God now? God my camera just plummeted, but I don't think anyone saw okay. That's fine Let me steal some lemons. I think I just gotta wait for them to drop Unfortunately. Oh, you're back up. God. You can take a punch. He won't even look me in the eye But let's do this the day What do you need? Nothing father just watch your back. Okay. All right We're about two minutes in and I've already tackled religion. What's the other thing that'll divide people the most of course? Politics please it's already just begging. Okay, so I can't do that odd job Maybe I can do one for this guy. Oh, this is another. This isn't a criminal He's one of those one percenters on Wall Street a bigger criminal than anyone. What do you need? Are you mr? Joe Hawthorne. I honestly don't know having a bit of an identity Christ. I can't remember my own name I just know my husband is called patchy and my son is called butter The mayor wants to talk to you meet the mayor at his house. Okay, great Okay, he said he's up on the hill Over there. Oh my god. Look at that for a fancy residence. That's what I'd like to see Graffiti that speaks to me. That might be a Banksy. That's fancy. I appreciate Talented. Oh my god. What the hell is this? I think I mean mugged please. I wouldn't hurt to fly He's like I just saw you beat the shit out of that breeze to hand over your cash I don't even have 200 to give him. Where is the police? Oh, thank god, he's the slowest person I've ever seen in fact actually no He's not he's just the best mime. I've ever seen he's not moving at all All right, I'm just gonna skirt around you there if you don't mind all right I'll see you later. Best luck with that mime thing Catch you later. All right. Goodbye If he was a really good mime, he'd react to getting shot I have wasted like half the day getting mugged and beating up priests and I still haven't gotten medicine for my son I should probably do that. That's important, right? Look at mr. Big shot up here though Let's see what he has to say. Oh Oh my god, I almost punched the mayor. Hey if it isn't Joe Hawthorne. Oh, so I am Joe Hawthorne That's good to know. Thank you grace lives down by the coast road. You can see our house from here Oh my god, am I gonna get to beat up grace? He needs to land her houses on okay great. Maybe you could pay grace a visit Fantastic, it's only 20 bucks. That's all I'm getting for this god. I'm cheap labor Get a signature on the papers. Okay. I'm on a chief. I was hoping I could just take your car Sorry, we're not playing Grand Theft Auto here The hell what is in that flower? Jesus Christ. It's the toughest flower I've ever seen. I ain't saying anything. Well, I tried shadow speech This is about right or wrong. Well, I don't care either way. I just want the money What the hell am I supposed to get a signature if she won't feckin sign You know, I should probably go get medicine for my son before I get involved with this I I don't know how I'm supposed to get her signature. She won't sign it. Don't I help you Where are your bills? You'll find the mother shows to your right. All right. Let's see What do I want for my son's smile soda? Jesus Christ Helto gain is that what I want? I can afford both of them, but I'll get a small please I like my son. I don't love my son. Okay. I got the medicine Now I really need to do some side quests to get some money. All I've done is beat up priests game over it You're unhappy family left you. Why would they do that? Hold on a certain checkpoint. Maybe I should bring the medicine back to my son before he like dies I'm just wandering around the town There we go. Okay. I did that and also they're complaining that the house is dirty or something I don't know how to clean though. Come on. Like why would you leave me? I'm out there trying to get medicine for her son Actually take care of him and he's like, well, I'm not cleaning and if this place isn't cleaned by him I'm leaving. I need some help make me a monster find some cardboard and 10 bucks You're fecking holding out on me kid. I'm too busy for that. Shit. I think I'll accept 10 dollars It's like less than minimum wage you little slave driver. Shit head kid. Whoever raised you did a terrible job I do the dishes clean the hallway. Let's clean the hallway. Come on. Oh my god. Who made this? Fix a kid honestly. Hmm. Oh my god. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Where's the mop? Where's the mop? There's the mop. Okay. Fecking clean the place. I've done you fecking everything. I'm sick of this stupid house Go ahead and leave me my bed time's two hours. So I've got nothing done I gotta fecking go. Come on. I gotta get out there and I gotta I gotta solve this problem with the papers Okay, she's an artist. All right. She's done sculptures. I'll go check out her sculptures. That's gotta be relevant Oh my god another mugger. Are you serious? Okay, and also he can walk through shit. Well, that's not a good sign Oh god. Oh god. This one can move police. He's right on the bridge here. Please help help. I'm being mugged Why are you not helping me? Oh my god. Okay. He's a punching bag. That's okay That's definitely the priest in disguise. Thanks for the help officer. Stay safe out there Oh, her signature plaque is on the sculpture. Perfect. I just need the papers. Where are the fecking papers? Oh feck sake. Stop bothering me. It's bedtime. I'll be right there. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I know I'm on my way here stupid kid like it's 7 p.m. Okay, got the papers now. I need to get the signature on the fecking beach But I gotta rush home because my family will leave me god It's hard to get stuff done when you spend half the day beating the shit out of priests Okay, I'm home. I'm home. Don't leave me. Don't leave me God imagine having a relationship so fragile that if you're an hour late, they divorce you and take the kids Hey, honey, what's up? Just checking you out trying to make good on my uh, horrible performance as a husband and father Hey kid, want to see my new chainsaw? Oh, I just took a swipe at my child and patchy was behind me All right day 4 thursday I'm a little worried that I'm not going to have enough money to pay off the mob The kid wants to play us a game. Oh my god. I've got a lot going on. I really don't please me No, like do please me. I mean like don't say please to me keep them happy if they will leave you Oh god, they're adding more and more to this game with every passing day. I'll honey out of the way I gotta clean the house or I kill the rats. Let's go on. I owe him 90 bucks. Jesus Christ Where's my swing and bat? Come here time to take out some fecking anger. This game is really good actually There's a lot more to it than you would think All right basement rats are dealt with do the dishes yet fine anything anything for the family Okay, there we go. We're all clean at the relatively happy They're more hungry than concerned with the cleanliness of the house at the moment. So I guess that's good Okay, I gotta make another 38 dollars too quick See if there's any lemons after falling off that blasted tree nothing seriously no time for bridges It's gonna go through the river. I gotta get this land thing dealt with because I need money really bad Okay, there we go signed and delivered. Okay, great. Make sure you stop by every day. You might find a gift or two Yes, the mayor's nice despite that ominous music that plays My karma is so fecking low. My family are hungry. Shit. I gotta go get food But I'm also still 18 bucks short. I gotta pay off the mob. All right Maybe I can go or do some burger flipping. Oh god. There's another mugger there just back and run This guy's life is so stressful. I hate being a family man. Oh good some trash pizza That'll do to feed my family have a burger-licious day. I hate myself. Yeah, I'm not surprised. So you have to say things like that Stealing from the till immediately. Look, I need to feed my family. What do you want two fries in a shake yellow flavor? Oh, you're gonna love this, buddy. I love yellow myself cameras off. Okay, good spit in the burger spit in the burger Wait, I didn't spit in the burger or I find whatever take it. She's like, but I wanted spit I'll have a bit of a freak. Let's do more money here. Well, all they want is shakes But I want to spit in their burgers. I'm not getting the opportunity. Oh my god more shakes really And he's being fucking rude on top of all that Okay, nice. I earned a decent amount of money. In fact, I earned way more than I did doing crimes I'd be better off just taking a regular job to pay off the mob at this rate. Sheriff's trunk. I need to use lemon All right, I gotta get some lemons eventually from that tree. What next? I need an odd job quite bad What do you need from me on lost pages? He'll pay me for lost pages. Oh, I saw lost page under here There we go. How much does he pay me per page because I've seen a few of them and I've just now bothered picking them up Wait perk point. I have perks. Hold on. Oh my god I have perks illegal jobs pay more. Those seem to be the ones I'm doing so go for that talk to Jesse and Bessie. All right. Are they fucking cows or people? Jesse, there you go. Wanna buy something? No Oh wait, I actually have to talk about something. Okay. I thought you just been talking general I thought they were just lonely. Okay, that's one out of two I got I gotta visit someone on a farm, but I don't know what farm I'm panicking. What does this guy need? I need money, please Give me an odd job. Right. So the Sally situation. Oh, yeah, he's stalking this woman. I forgot 30 bucks. Yeah, sure I'll visit her. I'm gonna be the one who ends updating her at this point I keep just meeting her to find out more information about her. Do we have to act? Is this the script? The meal was breakfast. The job is dentist stoneville barry. Okay. I got all my lines Yeah, I'm ready action Oh god, here we go. I'm on the spot. What do you want charles? Is that my name? I He's like, I'm joe You went for breakfast. It was barry. He was the best dentist in stoneville. Is that good enough? I've seen worse. Okay. That's all I needed to hear Okay, don't I did my acting job. That's not bad actually. I got 30 bucks for that. It was easy All I needed was some basic memory skills. Where the hell is he? I can't remember Okay, there we go. More cash more. Oh my god, they're they're getting really hungry Yeah, maybe I should buy some more food for my family Is there any shop that I can go to rather than the farm? The farm's expensive Like can I not just get fast food for them or something? God doormats are expensive A duck come here. I need your meat. Is that raccoon or a cat? I don't care either way I need your meat. Oh god. He's attacking me. I don't care about bad karma I need to feed my family. I could just saw me beat the shit out of a raccoon. All right pay off the mob for today Fantastic. Oh, no. Who is this? Oh, it's my kid. Okay. That's fine. Hold on. Hold on. I got food for you They're not happy about it since it's just raw raccoon meat. I guess I wouldn't be happy either Clean the hallway. Why is there always blood all over here? Like I'm into some shady shit But someone in the family is into even shadier shit Oh, that's the bathroom. So I thought that was my son's room I don't know my house layout too well Oh for fuck's sake. Who is it now? Meet me at the diner. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I gotta actually work for the mob today I don't need to pay them off. Is there anything else to do? Okay. I do need to feck and take care of the house a little bit Why do these rats keep coming back in? I don't think the bat is solving a rat problem I think it's just getting rid of a few in the basement and then we're leaving them breed I guess if it keeps getting my family happiness, it's a constant like happiness farm I'll just leave them breed down there and then I go beat the shit out of some of them Okay, I'm at the diner. Where is the feckin mob? There's a guy sat at one of the boots. Am I on a date? Is there whatever floats your boat? Will I just sit with him? Okay. I'm just sitting with him. Oh, thank god food Why am I so small? I feel like his child. He says I wasn't really looking for a company But yet he has an extra plate down kill the article about delroy. Can't even remember who delroy is But just just kill it. Okay. He's just walking away from me. He's not very threatened to create a commotion Okay, how am I gonna do that? I'm here about your wife She told me you two are through Okay, I created a commotion and go into the bathroom. What why did I create a commotion draw all that attention on myself and then go Into the bathroom after I thought you were gonna go after him What okay Sorry, didn't realize it was occupied. Oh for feck sake grab his phone. Oh my god I'm in deep shit here poor choice of words given. I'm in a bathroom use the mop to clean up the blood Oh, ah, she said he didn't mean to open the door close the feckin door dude. What do you do? Oh my god Good thing. I've practiced cleaning up blood from the home. Maybe butter works for the mob. Where's the feckin body? What did you do to it? Maybe flushed it. I must be the answer Just walk out here with a bloodstained mop. Do I leave? All right. Goodbye everyone And a hundred bucks god the mob pays well you gotta give it to him Maybe I should just become a mafioso for kids asleep. What do I do? Do I just go to bed time seems to be frozen up the top right? Why all right? Well, I'm gonna go smack rats take out some of my anger just picture butter picture butter die die I mean like my best suit. I just realized it killing rats in the basement when I baseball bat Oh my god, I owe him 120 dollars. Are you fecking kidding me play a board game with my family? They said they'd pay me wait let the kid win let partner win make me win Oh, that's a lot of xp. Yeah, make me win. You never let me win. Look bill's going to you made me sad Oh shit, but look I got 20 bucks and 100 xp. It was worth it. Oh chicken my family. I love that. Oh god. He's fighting back chicken leg Yeah, now my family will eat speaking of food. I really gotta get those lemons They're still not after falling. All right. Let's be honest with them. Yeah, I'd steal them truth and honesty should always be rewarded Thanks. There we go. Okay. You just flew him on the ground. You're obviously not happy about it Look, I did beat the shit out of you. So I kind of understand that what life gives you Oh, it's like the good old saying when life gives you lemons beat up a priest. Why does he want those specific lemons? All right, let's see what he actually get for this All right, I got some cash I was hoping for maybe a shotgun or a get out of jail free card or something That's a thing right in real life. It's not just monopoly. I don't know I've learned most of my life lessons from monopoly Which is why I decided to win that board game at the expense of my relationship with my family All right. Well, I think that's enough for one day I enjoyed being a family man. This game is really good And the thing is when they initially emailed me about this, uh, if you if you didn't see in the last video They basically emailed me a code of it and they just said look at this game. You can be a giant dick. I think you'll like it It's right up your street, but it just looked like a quirky game You know, I'd go in just cause a bit of havoc whatever, but there's a lot more to it I really like it. Um, if you want to see more do let me know But for now, I'll just say really appreciate you watching folks Thank you for supporting what I do and I do hope to see you next time. I hope you enjoyed and that's about it Bye for now