 All right, so today I am with Val Nelson and we're going to be talking about how Sensitives and introverts can be more fulfilled and On purpose successful in their business and their career Val. Thanks for being here. Yeah. Thanks for doing this We did this months before and it's fun to chat with you like this. Yes. Yes So let me share your bio just real briefly and then we'll we'll get into the conversation Val Nelson is a career and business coach for introverts with big hearts She is an introvert and a highly sensitive person herself And she has used those as strengths in creating and maintaining her full-time self-sustaining business for 11 years now She enjoys helping others create what works for them as well. So Val one of the things that You talk about that thing that's quite interesting is that our strengths are often Invisible to us and especially our biggest strengths. So Tell us more about that. Why are why are our strengths not obvious to us to most to many of us in life? well, let me first answer it's like knowing your strengths is a critical piece of Knowing how to find your best flow and happiness and success in your business So that's the background But the problem is most people don't know what their strengths are or they're so busy putting themselves down for certain things that they Have lost sight of turning to their strengths instead of focusing on weaknesses That's kind of an old-school thing. Like what are your weaknesses? They ask in interviews. It's crazy It's not even useful And often the thing we think is our biggest weakness is actually one of our strengths So it's useful in that sense. It might be a clue for something to look for and Part of why what I've discovered in myself and in my clients and I see this over and over We can't see our own strengths because it comes so easily to us that we think everyone can do it We think it's silly like of course that that means nothing. That's not valuable. Anyone can do that So that's how it comes out. But it turns out that thing we think is so easy is something. We're just masterful at it for reasons, you know, maybe experience it may be natural talent probably some of each and So we miss it and often the thing that we're best at seems to be the one we miss the most So I find it fascinating. It is is very interesting. Yes. It's obvious to us. It's natural So what's the night? What's an example? I don't know if you want to give an example of from yourself or One of these strengths that you've noticed in clients To kind of help people to start spot those things within themselves Well, I'll just take I'll take introversion because actually that's a strength. Yeah And a lot of times people are so busy thinking. Oh, that's there's something wrong with that And if there's the messages, even if they've read about it, they've heard all the positive messaging about introversion They still start saying negative things about it And they think oh, I'm you know, I just hate public speaking or I hate networking and I'm no good at those things I'm not going to be good at self-employment. They come with all these assumptions. They're actually myths And it turns out Introversion is a strength. I mean, it's really when you study what it is It's about deep thinking Thinking before speaking Often it means deep we're good at deeply listening Um, if you think about it, those are really helpful and I've just listed a few there's really quite a few Those are really helpful things for career and business We really can we're the people in the meeting that are like really paying attention to all that's going on and we say Like when people finally give us room to talk We have a lot to say and we've picked up on you know, like we often have taken all those ideas and can synthesize them into something new that's fresh and unique and That's what an entrepreneur needs to do is come up with something new and present it in new ways. So It's a strength Yeah, that's really great. That's and how how can how do you help clients discover Their best strength so that they can use it Use it while in their work Oh, I would say Probably two things primarily that we do One is I have an uncanny ability. I can't help it. This is a strength I didn't know until I started working. I'm an uncanny ability to see other people's strengths Especially the ones they can't see like I can I almost like my brain is sort of tuned to that channel like I keep Asking questions until I find like they're amazing strengths and then I can help reflect it back to them and help them believe in it too So one is just the instrument of me that can kind of read and draw that out But I also use some tools. I like the gallop strength finder tool No tool is perfect. It's just kind of a beginning place to help us find some new words I also like the Myers-Briggs type indicator, which is one of the main ways people know if they're an introvert extrovert or ambivert in the middle Um, and it also has some other things that it looks at So both of these can give us some words and begin to get us in the ballpark of of what your unique superpowers are Yeah, that's really good. So, um, you know, you focus on the work area for for clients lives and um, you know, we many of us have grown up with this idea That to be valuable work has to be really tough and difficult Um But you have a different way of thinking about that like valuable work Yeah, so that's a perfect segue from the strengths conversation too because this the same ability inability to see our strengths Leads to us minimizing our strengths minimizing that and we think oh, I can't charge money for that That's not something I should do my career around because it's too easy. That's not really valuable So what happens is people start a business doing something that's a little harder for them Instead of the thing that comes so easy Because they think well, that's the hard thing. That's what I can charge for. That's the real thing Because we have this false idea that work has to be hard And I can't charge for things that are easy It doesn't make sense our easiest thing the thing that comes the most Easily to us is the thing we're best at the thing. We're going to actually contribute the most value Um, and it should feel flowing and easy. It should feel fun. It should be joyful That's when you know you're in that best place um So I see it happen all the time with people in their career clarity process and in their process of trying to develop a business is this They're having trouble aligning ease with with actually charging for it That's a really good point. Yeah, it's it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it makes so much sense now that you say it um so How can we if we can go a little bit more into this charging area because that is That's a sticking point for a lot of people. Yeah, especially compassionate heart-based people This comes so easily to me It feels bad for me to charge for it So how do we I see that there's something about The money thing and the pricing thing that I find so fascinating and I love talking about it because it's about self-worth It's about that inner. It's a really it's an inner thing And it's not about what will the market bear. That's like kind of an old school way of thinking about money. I think pricing It's more about like what do you feel what feels right Your instincts your experience you have a you have a sense, but we How I help people with pricing for instance, if they're self-employed and they're trying to come up with their You know where they're going to charge for a month of services or something Is to kind of do some guessing before looking at what other people are doing just kind of feel your way and then go a little more We're naturally bringing in this not valuing. We have a little bit of that So we have to go with a little more and we also need to go step by step if we can't believe in it We can't sell it So we have to try something You know like just just offer it for free to test it and then try a little bit more and then try a little bit more and then see It like I said, it's a very internal thing You know, you need to raise your prices when you get to a place of wait a minute. They're getting a really good deal here This isn't fair You want to have a sense of fair exchange Everyone feels good when there's a fair exchange Yes. Yes, that's really and um So so we've talked about introversion. We've talked about how the strengths Help us to contribute value To our clients in our work now, let's talk a little bit about marketing because well How can people discover our work without us doing the you know being out there and of course, that's one of the things that introverts and sensitives don't necessarily love doing as a natural way of being so Tell us about that. I mean Is there hope for sensitives? In the marketing realm in being able to well sell their services. Yeah Uh, great question. Um I would actually not phrase it in the way that I actually think we can be great at it and very natural at it but there's uh Some myths about what it is We think marketing is this kind of inauthentic or push kind of or like really being out there Like how do I get myself out there more? Um, and I think it doesn't have to look like that um For instance, most of my business besides word of mouth comes from google And I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff to make sure that my website shows up in google So they're doing all the work for me You know a lot of it so Well, that is to me as an introvert dream is um I put some things out between blogging and information on my website and my listing in google And you know and I get reviews online So I do have to do things like asking for reviews and take time to to write and put that out there But those are all introvert friendly methods actually So we just have to find our way If we think that marketing looks like this certain thing that we think of as extrovert type things Then we're not looking big enough. We need to just maybe look over here. Oh, these are introvert friendly marketing methods So that's what I help people do is find the way that works for them Everybody's different. There's not like the introvert formula and extrovert formula. There's what are your strengths? Do those things for your marketing? Yes, absolutely. That's what you get at writing Blogging and things like that are going to be good. Right. Yeah makes sense makes sense and um so the other thing about um, you know kind of building a business and and You know success is a lot of times people have thought of it as a Kind of uh, oh, you got to pull yourself stuff by the bootstraps. You got to do it You know and if you're it's going to succeed you're going to do it yourself So this lone wolf idea is something that you you talk about and how Maybe there's a Better way of doing a different way way that could work and this is especially interesting because With as introverts, you know introverts are more likely to want to Well, you know, there's more energy spent when when we're with other people So it's like yeah the lone wolf. It might be a natural, you know, but talk about that part Yeah, thank you. This is one of my favorite topics In fact, I'll I'll back up and say I sort of think of four cornerstones of Clarifying and living your best use of you One is your natural flow like finding those strengths that come naturally to you The second one is your true callings like listening to your heart knowing what it's really saying the third one is co-creating so I really believe that That doing things by ourselves really don't doesn't work It's either draining or it won't actually work which either way it doesn't work in the long run, right if you get burned out And you know, I've done tried to do lots of things by myself, but when you really look at it There's someone behind the scenes, you know, there's the bookkeeper There's the person that helped me set up my website. You have a team even if you're not realizing it Somewhere there's no way you've done it all on your own But actually noticing it and inviting it in more can help things go much more smoothly And it doesn't have to be that you have to hire a team. I'm a solo partner I have a virtual assistant. I have a web person graphic design person But I have a lot of colleagues that I spend time with, you know, look, we're doing this. This is a co-creation You know, lesal who's in your master heart group. She and I have done events together For video recordings and lots of other people I even co-create with my clients. So I have some groups that I read and I I asked them, you know, like, hey, let's get together and talk about what we're going to do with the group You know, like I'll have, you know, one person meet with me before the next meeting and plan it together And they might do a piece so they get to highlight their strengths. So we're And they love it like when I said, hey, let's start doing this. They're like, yes It wasn't like I had to talk them into it. It was like people want to be included. They want to have more of a say So co-creation can look at It's like so many things. It could be a surveying your audience before you figure out what your messaging is going to be You're you're so good at that. You're really you like you let people design the courses by asking them all kinds of things No, it's I loved your so I'm sorry the the pillars you know Want to hear the fourth one? Yes. Yes, that'd be great. So natural flow true callings co-creating and the fourth one is heart-to-heart connecting So in other words Instead of calling it marketing and sales, I say all it is is connecting from your heart to theirs You're just offering inviting Serving it's all it is When you hear switch to those words suddenly lots of people who have big hearts who really care about others Who you know are introverts they tend to They tend to go. Oh, I can do that You know, it's suddenly really different than the feeling of the words marketing networking sales Yeah, I like that so heart-to-heart connecting. It's a pillar And you have a you have this in the shape of a graphic right like a like a mandala Um that you kind of helped your clients to to work with do you have and have a picture of that? I don't I didn't ask you in advance, but I Or uh, is there somewhere that show it but it's you know, what's funny? It's so It's kind of um intricate and beautiful and we will get lost in this design. Yeah, okay. We go there I did a whole workshop just helping to like walk people through this like, you know, step by step process It has eight parts in the shape of the circle or mandala with some with the four cornerstones that I just talked about And the order really matters Um, you know, so knowing your strengths and your true calling before choosing your niche and your marketing methods and your prices So it's kind of walks you through. It's almost like a little game board Yeah, that's really cool. And um, do you have so you have a kind of an online course where people can do that? I have it. I did it live and I still need to convert it to something that people can do later Yeah, yeah, so people should get on my email list if you're interested in sure. Yeah, yeah And I have it do have a course that I'm hoping to launch in the fall Um, that's going to be about like how do you clarify? How do you choose your career? How do you find the best use of you especially now? This is a crazy time A lot of us need to switch, you know, what we're doing So it feels really timely to be able to offer something accessible and more affordable in a course kind of way To help people find that clarity The last thing I want to just briefly talk about is your your perspective on perfectionism and kind of getting it right the first time Which does keep a lot of us back. Um, but what's your Yeah, thank you for asking so For some reason actually introverts are more prone to perfectionism and I know I've certainly got a big case of it myself Um, and I think it has to do with how the deep thinking that goes on in the brain that there's a lot more time For thing for snags to come up and fears like oh my god But this and oh my god But that because we're connecting all the dots all in there, you know If we're taking that much time to think there's a lot more time for dots to connect Oh, what are they going to think and whatever So it's like I got to get it right. I got to connect all the dots before I can show anybody and that's pretty much impossible So we can really get stuck, but it's not impossible. I've I've gotten a lot of help from taking georgia's classes Um to just go just Go with the imperfect to see what happens and that's another version of co-creating actually It's you see what happens. You try it You see what what the response is and you tweak it's an iterative ongoing thing There's another reason I did it in the shape of a circle Because it's ongoing. You're always revising you're never done So therefore it's never perfect and that's okay So I've had luckily someone when I first was starting my business It was not going yet and I was just interviewing lots of people like how would you do this and how can you help me and do You need someone And the sky who had a successful business said to me I must have said something like I'm really having trouble moving forward or hitting publish or something and he goes look Perfectionism will kill your business and I went Because I knew I was such a perfectionist and Something about that kind of scared me into action. It was like no, I'm determined to have this work I am going to hit publish as fast as I can And so that has helped me and I feel like your courses have helped me with that too. Just hit publish. Just see what happens Keep going Did that answer your question? Totally. It's great. It's great to hear your Your take on that. Yes All right. Well, you know, let's wrap up and I'm sure there are some who are watching listening who are curious Well, how do clients work with you? Um, you know, we've already heard that you have some online courses online experiences And so, you know, if people want to go to your website and join the email list They'll be able to hear about it. And also it's probably nice to watch how you do your marketing Um, you know, because then people can see how it can be done in a more Um, sensitive way in a more way that's that's a better fit for those of us who don't like the loud More salesy ways of doing it. So I would encourage people to go check out your website and and and watch how you do your marketing But yeah, I do have a lot of positive feedback about the way I've written about my services on my website They feel like literally when they get on the phone with me They often say well, I just felt so understood already. Can we just start like They barely have any questions sometimes. It's you know, because I really do I just Go into a very empathetic place like what does it feel like the moment someone is looking for a career business coach? They're probably really struggling. Let me just talk about that So yeah, that's what it can be like Um, and it feels good. I don't feel I don't I never say I hate marketing I love putting words out there to support people. That's how I see it Um, so yeah valmelson.com. They can go there. They can sign up for my newsletter to find out about the next events They can learn about Individual and group coaching and I do I'm really committed to anti racism and Inclusion and so I talk about some of that on my website. That's one of my biggest passions is um Social justice stuff and so my clients are also really interested in impact social impact piece And so we can get into it all Nice nice wonderful Val, thank you so much for the work that you do and uh the way that you do it Thank you. You too. You've helped me a lot. Yeah, thanks for being being a light for for so many people. So Um, yeah, I hope you all will check out valmelson.com is the main link If there's any other links, I'm sure we'll include it below Um, Val, you're also of course on facebook and where else can people find you online besides your website? Those are the main places i'm active um But I do have an instagram account mostly just for fun. I don't use it for marketing really got it. Yeah, good Keep it keeping it simple. I love it. I do a lot of people find you via google. So that's i'm very anti overwhelm Yes, yes Yeah, well wonderful, um Great. Well, I hope you all will follow up with val and um, thanks again val for being part of this interview Thank you very much george