 Today, I just want to take one more step further when it comes to marriage and when it comes to relationship there is a part when you fall in love and Mainly we're gonna talk a little bit more about that next week about especially for younger people the process of falling in love And I understand you may say well, I know everything about falling in love. Well Love is not a ditch you fall into Love is the path you walk on That's why you don't see Bible says fall in love Bible always says walk in love because what do you have to do to fall trip Be distracted and that's how many of us fall in love. That's why we can't stay in love because we tripped into love But God is an interested God is not interested in that kind of falling in love God has his own plan for that and you will find it very amazing with how God sees People falling in love it will really blow your mind, but that's for next week Falling in love is more like an emotion walking in love is a devotion Falling in love is about chemistry Walking in love is about choices Falling in love is like putting putting gasoline in the fireplace But it doesn't last walking in love is when that wood catches on fire Staying in love and God has a specific Instructions how that could be done if you are single I know you you might be tempted to just go on your Instagram and chat Right now with your soon want to be hopefully God please boyfriend But I ask you let that home slides go For just next 35 minutes and I want you to take your notes and write this down because listen honey you will need it Whatever I'm gonna say today. You will need that We're gonna take a reading from book of Genesis Genesis means beginning and in Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 says the following God gives this marriage advice to the first couple Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife And they shall become somebody say become So we're not born. We're not created somebody say, you know marriage is made in heaven. So is thunder They will become one flesh God in here gives a marriage recipe For happy marriage and you have heard this million times But I want you to look at it today from a very fresh perspective There's very simple three principles that the Lord gives us one. He says a man shall leave It speaks of priority the second one. He says they should be joined. It speaks of pursuit and The third one is he talks about process that marriage is not a miracle If you have a marriage problem deliverance is not gonna solve it only Rehab is not gonna solve it or Counseling is not the only thing there is certain process and no matter how much in tongues you speak Scriptures you quote and Bible knowledge you have you cannot escape word be come You're gonna have to become you don't be you become it will take a process For your marriage to become one flesh Three simple principles not just finished with prayer. We can go Number one men should leave shall leave priority of Marriage and this priority by leaving now. I want you to think with me God is saying to Adam leave your father and mother and Adam has no father and mother Think about it. So when God is giving instructions to Adam, he's actually not giving instruction to Adam He's giving instruction to you through Adam Because Adam had no father Adam had no mother God is revealing to Adam this secret and the first secret of marriage is that marriage cannot work if it's not a priority and God right away reveals to us. How do you make a marriage a priority? It's this very Crazy word certain things in your life has to be left behind When you were single these things were acceptable when you get married these things become a hindrance for your new season The biggest problem happens with married folk is when they keep the benefits of being a bachelor and the benefits of being married in one pile Something has to go and If you continue to live like a single person and you want to reap the benefits of a married life You will quickly find out one of them is going to suffer Leaving your father and your mother doesn't just mean you don't live with your parents. It means a lot more It means leaving a lifestyle you've enjoyed and you've benefited from as a single person Where you went to work for eight hours Then you hang out with your friends for two hours and then you played golf for three hours Then you cut up on your movies for two more hours And then if you had time you read the scriptures and then you went to sleep So now you have a wonderful wife you do exactly same thing The only difference is when you go to sleep you also have a cherry on the top of the cake You get a chance to have sex and many people live like that They live their life as though they were single the only difference is now They have someone at the end of the day to meet them But they still live their life just like they were single and those kind of marriages God says from the beginning Not gonna work if you wanted to work you're gonna have to leave certain things That means for some of us means you can't bring the work home Leave work at work For some of us that means the the hangout with the boys the basketball that happens every day for two hours Might have to be get cut to 30 minutes or every other day For some of us that means the golf clubs will have to be hanged for a season Until your wife feels like you're not married to golf but married to her That means for some of us all the chicas that we're following on Instagram who only post selfies You might have to unfollow them and the excuse that I'm only following them for photography Well, most of them they're pornography not photography and when you let go of that you begin to sense deep love for your spouse Don't elbow your husband right now. Keep your eyes right at me For some of us the snapchat account might have to go for Some of us is certain things we did as singles that were completely acceptable when you step into marriage God says rule number one of marriage certain things have to leave when you come from work Turn off the TV. It's not your adopted child. The TV will be just fine Turn off the phone after seven leave the phone flip that thing over you will begin to see marriage does not work if it's not a priority and the priority does not Work if until you leave certain things behind even Jesus had to leave heaven and his heavenly father to find you You will have to leave something if you want your marriage to work If you don't leave your marriage happiness will leave you Sometimes people have over spiritual commitment to God who think That it because I commit my life so to God God will see that commitment that I pray all the time every church activity I am there and I give my life entirely to the Lord and God will take that and Compensate my spouse from my absence from my marriage Jesus had a word to Pharisees concerning that theory because Pharisees had exactly same idea Their idea was this in the Old Testament God says honor your father and your mother which didn't just mean don't custom out and be nice to them It also meant when they're getting old you take him into your house and you provide for them as they're getting older They didn't have retirement facilities their retirement facilities were actually the children So you would take your parents into your house when they got older you would separate a room You would set certain funds aside for them So Pharisees got clever and they started to teach the children and said this is what you can do You can take that room that's supposed to be given to the parents Dedicated to God and all the money you would give to your elderly parents give it to the temple and Tell your parents this whatever I was supposed to give it to you. Oops. It went to Jesus Now it sounds spiritual. You know what Jesus said. He says you bunch of heathens He said you guys crazy You think God is gonna be pleased with that that you took something from your family and he gave it to her to him He doesn't care about that. He said that's a slap in his face But we think somehow that pleases God if I take all the time from my family and give it to God and God in heaven We'll see how much I sacrifice to him and he will compensate me for my abscess in the family God looks at you and says you're flipping disobedient You shit up disobedient And I don't need that kind of sacrifice Don't give me that give that to your family I created your family and I have enough time from you give your family the needed Attention and space otherwise if you want to only give everything to me don't get married If you get married learn the principle number one of marriage Leave certain things behind for your marriage to succeed Amen, let's put our hands together for the Lord number two He said cleave to your spouse or your spouse cleave to your husband It's a lot easier for wives to cleave to their husbands. It's a lot harder for men to cleave to their spouses This is where I got the idea that people shouldn't date if they're single It's biblical. It's not that it's wrong to date when you're single. It's good heretic heretic heartache break up unwanted pregnancies and Immorality most likely will be the side effects of dating around when you're single, but I'm that's not the message on that I want you to see what God says here clean to your wife Be joined means pursue your wife. I want you to see God is not saying to Adam pursue your girlfriend It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out guys will pursue their girlfriends and they will become passive with their wives See most of us we use dating when we are single and the moment we get married We become passive because we got a trophy and now let's move on to pursue other things and God gives an instruction to a young marriage. He says listen man. You just got her. She is awesome. She is great Pursue your spouse. You're like why I already got her Because a woman does not feel loved if she's not pursued a woman cannot feel Continuously loved if she's not pursued. That's why most of the complaints get from women is these do you still love me? Look, I told you that 20 years ago on the altar if I would have changed my mind You would have been the first to know do you stink? Do you still think I'm pretty well if you wouldn't be I wouldn't be married to you And you will hear that all the time from your wife Why because one of the commandments of a husband for me and for you and that is this is that you have to clean you have to pursue your spouse God doesn't tell you to do that to your girlfriend because you do it on your own God has to remind you to do that to your spouse because we as men get lazy When we reach something we put it on the wall. We got the pictures. Let's go now for something else Let's now develop the business now. Let's now develop our spiritual gift Let's now develop this and so the wife gets left behind and guess what happens then she becomes Empty and we just simply say well you just shouldn't you know You should just remember that I'm providing for you all of this that I'm doing is for you But God is not saying after you leave your single life that you should just now Cleave to your business your finances your ministry or your career as a husband You have to pursue your spouse if you don't pursue your spouse Your marriage will begin to die Until it will die completely and it will become like dead Lazarus it will begin to stink and Then you will just be roommates Sleeping in different rooms and you may even blame everything on the devil But if the love dies love is like fire you stop putting wood you're gonna have no more flame You stop pursuing the spouse you stop being romantic with her You stop spending money and spending time on her you stop sending, you know wonderful text messages being You know being the things that you did to get her in the first place And I know people my guys will say well, you know, I'm not like that guy listen You went through such a transformation When you were dating You got cleaned up you developed a great relationship with water and soap You'll learn driving skills You learn restaurants your words were not I'm fine, but you use adjectives to describe how she looked You're feeling somehow you Literally you got hang of the Webster's dictionary. I mean your words were like dire rebel diarrhea Just a lot of them you did everything you could to draw her in and then you felt like now that I got her I move forward and God's rule number two for marriage is if you get lazy Fire will die and it's not the devil's fault. It's that you broke the law of marriage date nights Cards kind words hugging, you know when people date they cannot Get their hands off of each other Literally the devil pushes them to sex the moment they get married devil changes the strategy. He pushes them out of sex So that they don't have time for sex They don't have time for romance and I know some of your singles like well fog your marriage sex every day The same devil who pushes you into sex when you're single will work twice as hard to keep you away from romance and sex when you get married Watch married folk. They don't open doors for one another in the in the restaurants. They don't even talk to each other You like the food. Yeah, you pay. Okay. I pay that's good And that's exactly how they live and you I said my marriage will be different That's exactly what they said when they were dating to if you don't obey God's word You have to do this like well will come naturally it won't come naturally honey. Otherwise God wouldn't tell us to pursue your spouse Amen Jesus didn't just come on earth and so I left heaven and that's it Jesus came and he pursued us He said kind things to us. He loved us. He forgave us when we would get trapped in sin He didn't come and beat us. He simply would lift us up He died on a cross for us continues to intercede for us and continues to love us And he wants you to do the same thing to a woman Now unless I don't know you may say well, what about her? Women usually are the responders men are the initiators and I understand you may say, but you don't understand what my wife She crazy This what you're saying is not gonna work a hundred percent if you come after this service like a Tarzan jump on her I said listen baby. I love you Yeah, well, that's not how you want her affection. You didn't just find her and kissed her You found her and you found her number you started slow I will learn something about starting fire in the fireplace. You don't put large logs and expect expect large fire You put small branches with small branches and as the fire picks up you add larger logs If you ever lose fire in your marriage, don't start with anything big and chunky small things Very small things combination of small acts Creates a small flickering fire and next thing that happens Then the big things begin to come and then the person begins to respond and the person begins to slowly get warmed up to you Amen Jesus said if you lost your first love, he said it to us and this applies to marriage. He said this he didn't just say Well, you know sucks to be you go find Muhammad go find another religion now. He didn't say that He didn't say we're done. He says if you lost your first love do this repent Remember where you fallen repent and do the first works if you lost the first love in your marriage remember how it used to be Relive the thoughts of when you used to date what made you fall in love with that person Remember what you used to do how changed of a person you were by those feelings of love Remember that repent means change what you do now and do the first works Start doing what you used to do and you will notice the love in your heart will begin to be built up again and again And that person will respond accordingly Amen Some of your single people see you're not very happy about marriage now Number three The process of becoming the process of becoming The process of becoming is that your marriage becomes great your marriage can never be great because Jesus came and did a miracle Jesus does the miracle, but you still have to become means it takes a process Two people are completely different the women and the men are different Then there is they come from different backgrounds of different cultures and Jesus says right the way listen and hang in there It will only become Great it will not be great just because you got the right person that doesn't means you're gonna have a perfect relationship Your relationship will become it won't just be right away We're starting our pre-marriage counseling classes tomorrow for people who are getting married this year in our church And when we did those classes with the couples last year the the doctors who they lead the the state university as the marriage Professors and actually in the state university they said this phrase that really stick with me and the phrase says this the success of a marriage Comes not in finding the right person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person They inevitably realize they married. I think that needs to be another refrigerator of every married couple The success of your marriage is not in finding the right person But in learning to adjust to the person you realize you're married to When you begin to realize that you have to do adjusting you're like, you know what this is a wrong person It's not a wrong person every person in their marriage will feel exactly same thing that you feel It's just we learn to adjust our lives to the person that we got married You know people always ask do you know that there is the one for you? I believe there is that one for you the one that you marry is the one That's it if you marry that person They are the one for you even if you don't see eye-to-eye right now on the issues on many issues Or maybe the your spouse is not even in church or she doesn't you know come and agree with you when it comes to faith But she supports you in your pursuing faith That's already good enough foundation to begin to work in your relationship and believe for her or his salvation yet without destroying your marriage yet One of the Challenging things about becoming is the process and the process is very painful It's not easy to fall in love is so easy to walk in love is a different story I Remember when I fell in love and I saw my wife on the pictures. That's not what I fell in love I was attracted to her when I saw her on the pictures we Met through Facebook I still believe he can use a mouse to find a spouse and so And that is how I kind of one in eight marriages in America actually meet now online And so when I when I saw her pictures and I was single so that was permitted to go through the girls pictures And so I went through her pictures. I liked what I saw and I was like man That's that's gold right there And so I didn't know who she was but then I found out she was going to a church that I used to travel to in Vancouver and I still do and so when I went there to preach I was invited to preach I think was like in the fall and so I'm preaching and like there's about maybe 200 kids there and I'm preaching and I'm looking I'm preaching a little like my mind is ready train. I'm speaking about one thing, but I'm really looking for For her I'm trying to compare the Facebook picture because I know sometimes Facebook picture and the real picture is not the same So I'm trying to make the difference I'm like she must not look too different than what she was on Facebook because I looked for many pictures And there I found her on the second pew She was sitting on the second pew and I remember enough to that You know it was very hard to speak because you kind of like my eyes would go Get stuck over there and then I would keep drifting to the second pew You know and stuff and so and they found out that actually she was in the two camps that I went to preach there She was there in those camps right there at the altar She got saved twice Through my ministry She tagged herself in my pictures and I was a how could I not see this fabulous person right there getting saved and not even see her But see I was so focused on God We get invited to go to her house and she prepares a meal with her sister So I brought my sister because you know my preacher you got to be careful where you go and who you go with and everything So we go in there another member we ate her we started to talk and and I knew she was a Christian I knew she belonged to a church and everything but there and then Something just hit me like a jolt of lightning. I'm like, oh my god. I Love her. I came to my cousin's house to sleep and I couldn't fall asleep I said if I'm gonna have this woman as my wife I said for the rest of my life every day. I will be happy. I Will never hate another person I'm like there is even if she does whatever she does. She's just unbelievable I remember the feelings. I couldn't fall asleep and I said God if you could only to grant one wish one wish I'll serve you for the rest of my life. Just if I can have her I will be the happiest person And that's that's a process of falling in love But when you go for about five or six months of marriage Your prayer changes It's the Lord. Where did you find this person? Lord, what did I do to deserve this life? Why is she so crazy? Why can't she need its deliverance God marriage is not for me God? I swear I married wrong person You begin to see that the things that you found so attracting that she is Different than you she is spontaneous and that spontaneity drives you nuts You're cheap, but she loves to buy nice things like man She will really bring an addition to my life until your credit card Goes through the roof and you're like you're crazy. You did that Ramsey you begin to be irritated by the very things You were fascinated about becoming That's what becoming and you go through the metamorphosis you go through these challenges. I found out in becoming Great marriage. There is three biggest things that you're gonna have to go through One is you're gonna have to be tested on commitment So no later you're gonna have to get rid of word do worse in your vocabulary and your thoughts When you hit rough patches the keys to becoming is you choose to be committed Not because you feel like it But because you made a decision to God in front of the preacher and in front of the law you're gonna be Committed if you have words circulating in your head that if things get too tough I'm gonna find me a new model. I'm gonna go find me someone else if you throw words during an argument You know what if this keeps going I'm out You're opening the door for the devil to destroy your marriage If you're threatening with divorce to prove your point you open the door for you for divorce in your life Get rid of the plan B. You can't focus all of your energy I'm working out the answers with this person if you have a plan B circulating and your energy is split in case this This doesn't work out. I'm gonna jump on the other ship. I think it was one of the generals He led his army into this impossible battle on the ships. They got into the island and Next thing that happened is that he realized they're not gonna win this battle So what he did next morning is he went and burned all the ships and He got up in front of his army. He says guys. We're gonna die two ways Fighting or drowning you choose He said we can't go back the way back is gone plan B. I just burned it He says we're warriors not whims We're gonna go die fighting and when they went fighting they won that battle because they had no plan B Now I understand there are people who went divorced and there's no guilt shame or I'm trying to bring that I'm talking about the marriage You have right now burn plan B Yes, it might happen do not talk about it and entertain them because you split your energy in becoming you won't work on that marriage Till the end why because in your mind the marriage is not till death. It's still divorce Until one of you gets tired. They ask Billy Graham's wife. Did you ever thought about divorcing your husband? She said divorce. No murder. Oh, yeah How do I become? Commitment the number two to become is loving communication It's the loving communication. It's when you learn how to communicate Now out yelling your wife is not communicating and girls women using water works Is not communicating Manipulating and dominating is not communicating. We have have we have devices now We can talk to people in the moon and cannot talk to people across the kitchen table Communicating is when you are not waiting for the person to finish so you can really tell them what's going on But so you can listen until they finish and learn to hear Understand instead of change Or are you done because I really what I'm about to say is more important than what you're saying that is not communicating in Scriptures it says the secret to communication is this is you slow to speak Swift to hear and slow to anger. I Pray for this regularly in my relationship with my wife because when you are slow to speak Swift to hear because God gave us two ears in one mouth means we need to listen twice as much as we speak We are swift to hear means we are here there to listen to hear them out Why are you going through explain to be a little bit more is this is what's going on instead of getting defense? No, I didn't do it. You know get over it cry a river build a bridge get over it honey. Everything is under control I got this that's not communicating That's trying to change the person and the person doesn't feel heard next time They stop talking and then they find someone else that they talked to and That could lead into sin and could lead to some other things though That's never excused, but you need to provide a place in your marriage where the other person can speak their fears Their feelings they can express their desires their dreams their hurts without you starting World War 3 without you getting defensive without you going into the attack mode We have learned how to speak at each other But many of us have no idea what it's like to speak with each other Without learning how to communicate We can't become Communication in marriage is what blood is in your body Stop the flow of blood and you're dead Stop the flow of communication and your marriage is just on legal papers You don't have a marriage if you don't have communication and this is the hardest thing to do The third key how to become the helps us to become is Loyal Confrontation and I like what you guys said about conflict If you guys don't have conflict one of you is unnecessary What happens with conflict conflict is necessary in marriage the problem with conflict. There's two ways people fight Have you ever seen the street fights you grab anything that's at your disposal pop the more blood and the faster the person falls on the floor you're the champion And there's a boxing fighting in boxing fights. There's rules. You can't hit a certain place You can't hurt a hit after a certain time and then they whistle and you have to stop In boxing after they finish fighting they give each other a hug on the street after you finish fighting You go home and you fight more Many people fight in their marriage like on the street. They use whatever words they can you F this F that They use F bombs. They start saying you never you always always hate you that is the street fighting We're using knives and guns and everything, but when you are in a Christian marriage, there are rules of fighting That means you can't bring my past into the current situation You can't use word never and always those words are only reserved for God He never leaves us and he always loves us. I'm not never and always our change That means when we are there you can't get physical and raise your knife or your fist Or you stop breaking doors because children's are watching. It's when we are disagree. We can disagree as adults Fight as adults And that's how we become People who say I don't want to have any fights in your marriage You will never have a great marriage without fighting. You need to just learn how to fight Better and if you learn to fight better mark my word. You'll always fight less Amen The biggest problem that happens with word becoming is the fact men and women are so different This is what usually women say about men women say that men Are not sensitive Don't share household work and they don't listen and all the women said Men say this about women women are too emotional They don't feel the pressure to provide or they don't understand how much it takes to provide and they talk too much And all the men said You know the scientists gathered together and the scientists who made computers decided to find out how to name the computer Is it to name the computer he or she so all the women scientists got together? And they found out three reasons why a computer should be named she in the female It should be addressed as a female and the man's male male scientists they gather together And they said no the computer should be called a she because Because of these many reasons so the women presented their case and the women said that computer should be called he for this reason in Order to get their attention you have to turn them on That's what the woman scientist says. I did not create this they should solve the problem most of the time They are the problem So computer is like a man. That's what they're saying as soon as you commit to the one if you would have waited a little bit more You could have gotten a better one So the women rested their case and the man said no computer is a she and this is why They said no one but their creator can understand them So the man said computers should be called a she and the reason why is because the smallest mistake is stored up for a long Long-term memory a computer should be called a she is because after you buy it you spend more money on accessories And all the man said in Bible it says husbands likewise dwell with your wife with Understanding what does that mean? That means you have to know that your wife is different than your husband You have to know your wife is different than your wife You have to know your husband is different from you and at the end I'm gonna give it four main differences between men and women You know them and you will be surprised that There are actually differences. It's not because your husband is crazy and it's not because your wife is crazy The number one difference is the women's right brain is caring men's left brain is logic Actually a one doctor received a noble price in 1981 if I'm not mistaken in 1981 Dr. Rogers where he discovered from the 16th week till 26th week when the baby is in the mother's womb Two chemicals are released to the right side of the brain of the male boy and These two chemicals they slow down the development of his caring part So the doctor has proven something all women knew that all men are born brain damaged actually medically Men's logic left side the reason one men think of logic When every situation instead of caring is not because they're uncaring. It's actually a brain issue And that's how God created it so you can have in marriage one person who is caring and the other one who is logic And you combine it and you have a full solution Because if you only caring you won't have a solution and if you have a solution you will have a rude mean harsh world. I Mean look at any situation a husband's they quickly to forget things Things that they're not caring about Whereas wives don't remember every single detail every single word when the wife says do you remember a husband's goes into panic? Because he knows I don't know what I don't remember. I Mean simple things for example like when my great-uncle passed away My first response was who's gonna pay for the house? My wife was like you can't think like that What about our aunt? How is she gonna be? I was like she'd be fine. She has kids. Who's gonna pay for the house? See I look at the situation my only concern is logic. Who's gonna pay for the house? Her concern is family Who's gonna be there for his wife? Because that's the way we're wired. I'm logic. She is emotion And it's not because she is stupid and because I'm uncaring It's because we are wired and if we stop fighting these things while bringing them together We can establish great marriage because somebody say man the number two reason between men and women is That women enjoy the process men focus on the go Women will stop and smell the roses men will step on the rose if it helps them to go further somewhere Women will drive literally in the desert nothing God forsaken desert And they will stop to take pictures because this is a beautiful scenery you're like listen God to can nap when he was making this Part of the world this let's go faster to that place Same thing happens with shopping women enjoy the process of shopping as much as the actual product they buy When a man goes shopping, it's one One way and one way out for some of you men you spend too much time with women So you picked up some of their habits You shop more than women and made good Lord forgive you and deliver you When I was in marriage constantly with my wife seven years ago the pastor talked to us and he said concerning sex Something that I found it very fascinating that he said that in sex For a woman she enjoys the process That leads to intimacy and men well You know he enjoys the intimacy Let's get there as soon as possible and this pastor used the scripture from the Bible where he says in the Bible woman is represented as a well a Man is represented as a fountain. He says the fountain is always releasing water if you want water from the well You're gonna drive and this pastor gave us a sound advice He says if you ever want to enjoy intimacy and for your wife to enjoy intimacy you have to understand She's not a fountain She is a well that means you have to draw it out. You have to give her the process She will give you the goal and may the good Lord give you the understanding That's all I'm gonna say. Some of you little children trying to figure out whatever. I just said amen But women are process focused men are go focused a man a third reason between men and women is Women they need sensitivity Man need space. I've learned this the hard way I did not know that this was actually proven by marriage counselors and people who are experts in marriage We had our really large fight one of I think there was two big ones That caused my wife to walk out of the house and walk around neighborhood and so the second one was like that We just moved into the duplex. It was about probably six years ago And and it was a very very challenging fight. I was more interested in being right than anything else I wasn't interested in settling the conflict. I wanted to win the conflict So I knew I had my time and I you know have the whole day to fight and win And so until it got to 11 o'clock and I'm realizing, okay, I got 30 more minutes I'm gonna fight for 30 more minutes and after that my sleep is as important as being right So in 11 30, I'm gonna give up my rights admit my wrongs and I'm just gonna apologize for what I've done Didn't do should have done whatever she's gonna label on me. I will apologize for it Because after 11 30 I'm going to sleep Before 11 30 as I was there, you know when you're laying there and your spouse is laying and you guys are not talking You even like don't even want to breathe not to give him this satisfaction. You're alive And my wife says you're sleeping no and then before 11 30 I an accident Fell asleep. I fell asleep and I fell asleep deep Then I get awakened by this hit in the side in the in the side and it was very painful What happened what's going on and so there she's crying. I said, what are you crying about? I was like, what's going on? She says you don't remember don't you and now we have a fight about the fact that I don't care about taking care of the fight We fixed that I apologize repented. I admitted things I've done didn't do I mean everything just because I realized my sleep is as important as winning the fight and right now It's more important for me to sleep than to be right And so we sorted out next morning we go to a coffee shop and I told her I said honestly when I fell asleep It was only 10 minutes. I woke up. I woke up as a sanctified Regenerated delivered men. I said something inside of me. Just I woke up. I felt so much easier. I wanted to repent Until that time I wanted to explode And I've learned something very interesting about men that I found out later on from marriage counselors also many times during conflict This is what they said Men when they are stressed they become focused and withdrawn women become overwhelmed and emotionally involved And I found out this many times during this tense moments give this man Few minutes of break Okay, come out of the house. So listen go walk in the yard Like Israel around Jericho seven times and another seven times seven more times I'll sound the trumpet then you come and you better be a changed man Give him a little space. He will snap out But a man has to understand a woman will not go to sleep or wires are ringing crazy Until this is settled and I remember my wife says from now on when it gets tense I'm gonna give you space, but remember I'm hurting So you better take your time fast and when you come back you better come back on your knees and Repenting to help me out for the time I've given to you Last one Is men have authority but women have intuition Men have authority Women have intuition That means the goddess said in every marriage men as the place of authority and Women have a gift of intuition many times women sense things and many times women They discern things that men miss blindly Even the spiritual man will just go like a little like a blind deer on that very problem and the wife will have an intuition Honey, we shouldn't do this. Well, I've done the math I know everything but because men doesn't respect her intuition many times women don't respect men's authority Men shouldn't be dictators and women shouldn't be manipulators Just because you have an intuition that doesn't give you a right to be a Jezebel and Just because you have the authority God doesn't annoy you to be a Hitler God has called us to walk with authority and women are called to walk with intuition and both of these things work together Amen, what's gonna happen today is that we're gonna pray for marriages that are dead We're gonna pray for marriages. Let's think and I'm gonna today speak life into your marriage I Genuinely believe before the service today I spent some time in prayer and I really felt as strong the work today God's gonna breathe life, but that's not gonna change your marriage What's gonna change your marriage is after this you have to unwrap slowly your marriage from the layers of grave clothes In Jesus name Can somebody say a man? I want you to rise to your feet We're gonna take few moments in prayer father. We just thank you right now for your grace Father, we thank you for your mercy. We thank you for your love right now They want you to just close your eyes and open open your mouth Whatever you're standing right now if you are a married person just begin to say Lord I pray for my marriage right now. I ask you right now that you will begin to strengthen my marriage Lord God, I ask you right now that you will begin to help me to become who you want me to become I Ask you Lord God right now that you begin to bring change in my marriage in Jesus mighty name father We just pray right now for the marriages in this room Jesus name as they're gonna sing just a song prepare your heart