 Welcome to part eight on this Magdalen series where we are reading through Megan Waterson's book, Mary Magdalene Revealed, the First Apostle, her feminine gospel, and the Christianity we haven't tried yet. This is our second to last video covering this book. Next week we will finish up the book and then the week after that we will once again be starting the Magdalen manuscript. After next week, I will once again put a post on the community tab to you all a link to the book so that you can purchase the book if you want to read along with us. Of course, that is not necessary. If that's not something you want to do, you can just listen. If that's something you prefer. Now, of course, there has been a lot that I have disagreed with in this book. The story of the Magdalene, Mary Magdalene, and Yahshua as presented in this book is presented in the way it's taught to us in universities and in churches. And as most of us know during this great awakening, the history that we have been taught, the religion that we have been taught is completely wrong, intentionally wrong. But I don't blame Megan Waterson for presenting the story of Mary Magdalene in the way that everybody knows the story of Mary Magdalene. And I am super excited that in the future, her true story and Yahshua's true story will come to light. With that being said, to me, this book has been fantastic. The teachings of Mary's gospel as far as the seven powers of the ego that Mary writes about very much, as I've said, mirrors the teachings of yoga. That's one thing that I have appreciated about the missing books of the Bible, especially the Gnostic books. Is that, again, they mirror the teachings of yoga, a teachings of liberation from the false identity, the ego. And understanding that within all of us, there is this overwhelming power of love. The love is something that we do not look for outside of us. Although she does touch on the power of twin flame unions and that telepathic connection certain souls seem to have with each other. But more importantly, again, this love is something that's already inside of us. It's a wholeness where each and every one of us are already enough, just as we are. So today we're going to be starting with the chapter, love has already won. After examining these matters, Peter said, has the Savior spoken secretly to a woman and not openly so that we all hear. Surely he did not want to show that she is more worthy than we are. Then Mary wept and said to Peter, my brother Peter, what are you imagining? Do you think that I have thought of these things by myself in my heart or that I am telling lies about the Savior? The Gospel of Mary chapter 10 verses 3 through 6. If you guys have been following along on the dark outposts, you know that I am not a fan of Peter. In fact, I have my own theories on Peter. He to me is just a nasty, nasty narcissist. And in a lot of the missing books of the Bible, Peter was not the person. That Joshua built his church upon at all. And so I find that very interesting that the Satanic church has actually built their whole religion on Peter, who was the most psychopathic of all the disciples. So anyway, there was a bird in the rafters above us. The ladies at Darlington Hall in Devon had tried to get the little creature out before the workshop began. But it seemed he wanted to stay. It was a sparrow which is common to the area in the southwest of England. I loved its unexpected dashes from rafter to the next, filling the air with the clamor of its furious wings. If I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and I clicked my ruby red slippers, home would always be here. Not here in Devon necessarily, but here in a circle of women. We were in more of an oval actually, so that we could all fit in the rectangular, barn-like space I was invited to teach in that day. And as I looked at every face in the circle, I felt this galactic exhale as I always do. When I sit in a circle, I know my body will communicate more than anything I end up saying. I say wordlessly just by being at eye level with everyone else. There is no hierarchy to the spiritual world. We are all equal. And we are all equally trying in our own crazy ways to love ourselves enough to see the good that's right here with us. For me, what I have witnessed in the circle of women for the past two decades is captured perfectly in Mary chapter 10 verse 3. We have the same issue of work that runs deep 2,000 years. And we have the issue that as women, we won't be believed when we tell the truth. I see again and again this systematic problem with knowing that we are worthy of having a voice and believing in it. First, let's talk about Peter. After Peter is the one to ask Mary and Mary 6, 1 through 2 to tell them and the other disciples what the Savior revealed to her that is still hidden from them because the Savior loved her more than all the other women. And after Mary very lovingly and Mary 7 through 9 reveals to them everything she was taught because of her love for Christ, Peter doesn't believe her. And neither does Andrew. In Mary 10, 1 he says he doesn't believe her because Mary's teachings are strange. Personally, I read strange as a compliment. Anyway, we're focusing on Peter. But just so you realize Peter wasn't alone in his disbelief. He says, has the Savior spoken secretly to a woman and not openly that we should all hear? Surely he did not want to show that she is more worthy than we are. The two words in Peter's reaction that stands out to me as if they're on fire are the words woman and worth woman. He couldn't believe that Christ would possibly reveal to Mary what he didn't reveal to them. How could she marry a woman the lesser sex be more deserving worth? He can't believe that as a woman she would be worthy of such secret teachings. The work he's questioning here is that of a female and also the feminine. How could she hear him from within her? How could she be worthy of such the intimate proximity to Christ, which again is why I think the satanic church decided to build their religion off of Peter because they wanted to imbalance the divine feminine and the divine masculine. And a lot of fundamentalist Christians still believe this. You look at the IBLP, you look at Bill Gother, you look at Debbie and Michael Pearl. The transformed wife, you look at all these fundamentalist people that literally think women are here to be subservient to their husbands. And they don't even realize that the Old Testament where most of this is taught is talking about a satanic God. The Old Testament, the New Testament are referring to two totally different gods. It's crazy. And so it's like once you see it, I say this all the time, once you see it, you can't unsee it. Of course he taught Mary things because Mary's the one who activated him. She was also the Christ, which the fundamentalists find that out too, that the Magdalen was also the Christ. And then Mary weeps. Hurts, she asks Peter, do you think that I have thought these things by myself and my heart or that I am telling lies about the Savior? She weeps, yes, because she isn't believed. She's betrayed after trusting them with her secret teachings, with the things she knows by heart. But I think she weeps also because she was given a transmission that she realizes now the disciples are not able to receive. It's a teaching that only she can uniquely give to them precisely because their whole world order and the idea of power would have to shift in order to receive it. Also betrayal is very, very painful. Nothing makes me cry harder than when I feel betrayed by someone I had trust in. So I totally get that. But that's when the power of forgiveness comes in. I think it's easy to identify with Mary. The one who in the first century, according to the Roman hierarchy of power, would be considered the least powerful among them. The one Peter sees as the least deserving. The one who after sharing her heart with those she thought were friends, family even, is betrayed. The one who isn't believed and who after being called a liar, is then lied about for 2000 years. And maybe it's easy to identify with Peter also. Maybe we are all Peter at those times in our lives. We question how we could possibly deserve a love that's right here within us. And maybe what made Mary worthy of such a love was that she knew worth had nothing to do with it. Maybe Mary was more loved by Christ than any of the other because she knew she wasn't separate from his love in the first place. If we are caught up in trying to prove or earn our show that we're worthy of love, we're missing out on the actual presence of it. In the Gospel of Thomas Christ says, if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. I think this is what is hidden that Mary reveals, that love is within us. We are loved and we don't have to earn or prove or deserve this fact. And if we could recognize that we've never been separate from it and bring it forth outside of us, this is what saves us. For at least a moment and then go back to being Peter and questioning what we deserve. And this is what it is to be human, to walk around with this heaven, this treasure of love here in the heart, to do this crazy dance of trying to feel worthy of it. I suggested to the ladies in Devon that what Mary Magdalene represented in her Gospel is Anthropes, the child of true humanity, the true human being, meaning the person who has remembered she is fully human and fully divine. She is the flaming ego and an eternal soul of love. The fact that she could perceive Christ from within her proves that she had merged with the angel within her, the know, the soul, she was what we can also be. I think the deepest wound hold the most powerful medicine. I think the reason I feel transformed every time I sit in a circle of women listen to each other try and falter and try again to love ourselves enough to tell the truth is because it reaches back to Mary Magdalene. It helps correct an ancient wrong by believing myself and other women. It helps heal this imbalance of power by participating in a power that it's shared that comes from within. I asked us to close our eyes. I had this little punk, renegade, fearful thought that kept writing past my more serene thoughts, like Ron Perlman on his Harley-Davidson and Sons of Anarchy. It was my fear of having to fly back to the States. I led us then into a soul voice meditation. I suggested that we imagined a golden light, like a full body halo surrounding us, fierce light, as if it's tearing through the fabric of reality as it carved out a space for us to just hear ourselves. I suggested that this golden light, like the porousness of an eggshell, let us release right now in this moment anything that no longer serves us. Ron Perlman wrote straight out through the light and it also allows in any guidance or support that we might need in this moment that I asked for us to take the first initial breath, the breath that would drop us like an anchor into the heart. In this circle of women, in Devon, that first breath was like jumping on the slip-and-slide. I'm not sure if I ever reached my heart as quickly. I asked them to take the second initial breath and know that we can become aware of the soul this easily. Anything we ask and the heart is answered. Everything we seek inwardly we find. I suggested we ask them from within the heart, what do I need to know in this moment? I exhaled and sat there in the circle like a cat on the edge of a couch in the sun. I never wanted to move. I heard the answer then of what I need to know in this moment. Love has already won. Love has already won. And it's interesting she referred to the trail again and I just mentioned that yeah that's a very painful thing to go through. But then forgiveness is also very freeing and I've heard people say before especially with the yoga practice that the more your heart breaks, the more it actually opens, more light can come in. And love has already won. And when there is true forgiveness and when there is true apologies and true humbleness of correction of past actions regardless of where they come from sometimes those betrayals are coming from somebody who's also hurt. When that is acknowledged then yes love has already won and yes there is a possibility to move forward in that light. And so I totally understand what she's saying here and sometimes those heartaches, those betrayals in the long run end up becoming very powerful tools. That's again where the alchemy comes in. If that happens between two people or a group of people when it can be mended, when it can be fixed, when it can be course corrected, when the alchemy can come in, the light can be turned to gold, those darknesses, the betrayal, the hurt, the pain, the heartbreak can actually propel you and that other person or that group of people are yourself into a more freeing place within each other as well and serve to make the relationship even stronger. After sitting in silence for some time I asked us to give gratitude as we take our third breath together and that when we opened our eyes we now see the eye of the heart. I looked around the room and blasted each one with fire hose full of light. My beloved red lady girl was among them. These unassuming warriors have all just fought a battle that's unseen. It's the very real struggle to hear the voice of love inside them and to believe it, to believe it enough that we can act now on its directives. All I want to give them is this memory Mary's teachings have given me. Love has already won. When we forget, when we give up on ourselves tomorrow or next week or when we slowly start to feel the heavy mental shame that isn't ours to wear and we allow ourselves to be treated in harmful ways or we don't rage against those who treat us harmfully. I want us to have this memory of what it feels like to be held, to just be in love and that has been here all along. In about three days I'll be clutching the flight attendant's hand during takeoff. I will have utterly forgotten everything I knew in this circle in Devon. The power of craving will have me completely blind to all else. I will crave desperately not to die. I will be visibly trembling concerned the flight attendant will have moved us to the back of the plane so we can sit together in two empty seats. She will stare into my eyes until I am back behind them again and I will tear up not because I'm afraid, which I am, I'm petrified, but because I get again the whole point is that it never ends. We keep remembering and forgetting. We keep merging with the presence and then separating. We are here for each other. We need each other to remember that as tough and terrifying as it gets. Love is already one. Love is this merciful transference of power. Love is this compulsion to help and this humility to be helped. The metaphysical text of course and miracle says the holiest place on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love. This is what it feels like for me every time I can let love be present here in my body that has known trauma and pain. This fragile fleeting body becomes the holiest place on earth. The sparrow I later found out is said to have been the only bird present during Christ's crucifixion. It became symbolic of the triumph that comes after a long time of suffering. The next section or chapter is called The White Spring. Levi said to Peter, Peter you are always ready to give away your perpetual inclination to anger and even now you are doing exactly that by questioning a woman as though you're her advisory, the Gospel of Mary chapter 10 verses 7 through 8. I returned to Glastonbury to lead a soul voice meditation for another circle of women on a retreat at the chalice well led by my friend Rebecca, author of Rise Sister Rise. I was there to return to Glastonbury with my love Kyle, author of Light Warrior. The first night Kyle and I went on a spiritual double date with our friend Lisa, author of which at least untamed, unapologetic and her husband Rich who has the best bear hug in the entire world and our date included an unexpected skinny dip into the cistern of the white spring. I had no intention of stripping naked but there's something about the primal space that compelled me to. There was very little volition involved maybe none. Sweet Richard averted his eyes, Kyle rolled them and Lisa locked hers with mine in a way that all the ladies who love each other through everything can. And I wasn't really naked. I didn't feel naked at all even though I very quickly didn't have any clothing on. It felt as if with each next thing I took off my jeans, my bra, I was joining something. I was entering a different reality. I was getting closer to understanding of why I had been so drawn to be there. The red and white springs. I was becoming more fully clothed and something that can't be seen with the eye. I wasn't cold. I should have been. The others were exhaling like wisps of smoke that their breath made visible by the chill in the air. I knew it was cold. But I experienced the freezing water as an intensity rather than a temperature. The cold was searing of clarity. I didn't resist it so there wasn't any pain as I walked to the center of the cistern naked and cloaked in the memory of who I'd always been. What I felt was a pride that went deep into my bones. No, it was a pride that came from within them, through them, a pride that could never be extracted. It was a pride in me and the woman that I had coursed through my body, my blood, my veins as if through all the centuries as if it had always existed. Lisa was singing a song that felt hauntingly familiar to me. It filled the crypt of the white spring with its timeless beauty. My eyes filled with tears. The song seemed to be asking me, what do I know that I don't need anyone else to know with me? What is true because I can feel that it is not because it's in Scripture or ordained as true. Petrine Doctrine is the belief that St. Peter was given special authority by Christ that has since passed on to each Pope. It is entirely male succession of power and spiritual authority. It's the outcome of this dispute that's so evident in Mary's Gospel. Peter does not believe her. He does not believe that she was given secret teachings from Christ to pass on to the other disciples. So, although Levi comes to Mary's defense in Mary chapter 10, 7 through 8, and although he represents a voice of the early Christ movement that believed Mary, we know that ultimately her Gospel will be destroyed and burned, kiss those cops within the next 300 years, and that by 594, and Pope Gregory the Homily 33, her story will be retold, burning her as the prostitute. Mary's status as the companion of Christ, the first to receive his teachings on how to perceive him from within the heart and how to become unified ourselves will be lost for millennia. Jesus says in the Gospel of Thomas, when you strip off your clothes without being ashamed and you take your clothes and put them under your feet like children and trample them, then you will see the living one, and you will not be afraid. And in the Gospel of Philip, Jesus relates, they who make themselves simple to the point of nakedness are not naked. What we wear without realizing it is the ego. It's the stories we've covered ourselves with, or the stories we have used to obscure the truth of who we really are. And the ego is so well meaning. It's like this helicopter mom who thinks we need protection and thinks fear will keep us safe. The ego builds up all these layers of why we should be afraid of who we are, or why we should feel shame about who we are. And the power that is the most crippling or blinding is the last power, the seventh. Even though as you've recognized within you, there isn't a consecutive order to the powers. It's the one Levi says that Peter has been overcome by in Mary 10, 7. Peter, you are all raised ready to give away to your perpetual inclination to anger. After Mary reveals the secret teachings that Christ gave her, and her alone, I can imagine Peter was angry. He became a saint, but he was also human. And I can imagine that he might have felt betrayed since he didn't receive these secret teachings as well. He's angry. And in his anger, he treats Mary as if she's an adversary and not his sister. His anger or power of the ego and the anger of those who followed him changed the course of Christianity to exclude Mary, to shift her from the one Christ loved completely instead vastly to the one Christ healed of seven demons. Peter and those Peter represents didn't seem to get the parables Christ used to suggest to us that we all get naked, so we can all see each other with a clarity of heart that the ego obscures. As you know now, the ego has seven incarnations, attributes, or powers according to the gospel of Mary. These are the demons. In yoga, they're called the clashes, the seven clashes. And supposedly Christ drew from Mary an answer to what to do to free ourselves of these powers could not be easier. Just get naked. Every time the ego tries to dress you again in an old story of what you're capable of, or of the victim you once were, or what you need to be afraid of, or why you need to remain small, just take it off, strip, skinny dip, repeat. I'm speaking metaphorically here, but of course, if it actually is getting naked helps more power to you. There is a belief that Christ's process of freeing himself and becoming the unified one had everything to do with mastering the art of Canosis. Canosis comes from the Greek word, Canocene, which means to empty oneself. She believed that Christ is able to endure and ultimately overcome Satan because he never takes the bait that keeps getting dangled for his ego to latch on from. And that goes back, that idea of empty in oneself goes actually back to the second sutra of the first part of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which is yoga to devote Narodaha, which many people have mistranslated in the West to say yoga is silencing the mind. That's not what that means. Narodaha's emptiness. So yoga is empty. And the mind is emptying the attachments to the ego. Same, same thing. He remains still. He rests in emptiness, stripping oneself and standing naked. This is the essence of the Canotic path. According to conventional wisdom, 40 days is what it takes to break an addictive thought pattern. The thought pattern in turn causes addictive behaviors and actions, and these behaviors and actions can be habituated unconscious even. I've always loved that Christ was in the wilderness of his own mind for 40 days being tested by Satan, the ego he needed to meet with inside him. And that really this is not something that was done once and done forever. This is a powerful spiritual tool that he used to integrate his soul with his body, his mind with his heart. This is how he was able to unify the angel within him to the physical form, getting naked again and again. When a past love reveals the reason why they left. When a parent lets you know what more you could do to find success. When a beloved friend betrays you. When you hear a voice within you telling you you're not enough, you're not worthy, you won't ever be truly loved. This is what I took off when I stood in the cistern of the white spring. And this is when I felt a pride that went all the way back and all the way through. A pride in being human and struggling and failing and sometimes reaching this state of exalted light. This brings us to the seventh power, the compulsion of rage. What we have remembered. Where does the rage originate? First, it was when your best friend left, the one who remembered you, the one you fell in love with, the one you trusted more than yourself, the one who made sure any pain and suffering you went through soon had meaning. Then it was your husband, your partner, your son's father, the one who changed his mind, who hardened his heart after you had already handed yours to him, to hold to harbor like a sparrow and his paw. First it was your best friend, then your husband. No, this isn't where it began. First it was the teenager who crept into his sister's room while you slept, while you were in the last trusting sleep you would ever have, the one who confused you for an object, the one who had no idea what he was doing severed you from your body. Then there was your best friend and then there was your husband. No, this isn't when it started. First there was that moment in Sunday school when you read how women were silenced, how they were only ever the supporting actress in the variations of the story about God and how the presence that you sensed before you went to church had been left out. What was within you was not outside of you and that was the beginning. Know the first betrayal is every time you remain silent about what you hear in your heart. That is the most primal deception. This inability or unwillingness to trust what you hear inside you in this voice that doesn't have a voice without you. And this is understandable, this inability to be a bridge between what you hear in your heart and what you say out loud. Christ says in Mary chapter 3 verse 14, anyone with two ears capable of hearing should listen. We're not taught this form of hearing that I believe he's referring to. This listening to the deep, listening to what we hear from within us, we have never been taught to listen to the feminine, to turn inward, to trust that voice that knows itself completely. No one outside of you should ever be given the power to name you or the burden of it. You carry the weight of knowing who you are. That is your responsibility and honor. When you know and name who you are, this is how time stops. How this moment right here goes back to the past and heals now what broke you back then. There is no time and love. There is only intention. There is only the promise of redemption. When we let this love reach to where it has never been before, to where we are broken, this is when we reclaim what was always ours. We are gifted this presence of love inside of us and the first and last betrayal is the moment we stop listening. It's the moment we lose our faith in this presence that proves we are more than just our mistakes. We are more than just human. This betrayal is ancient. Betrayal of the feminine is ingrained in the fabric of our verbal beliefs. It's here, present in Scripture for the first century. It's here at the start of Christianity. We question, we doubt, we disbelieve the feminine. We don't trust it. We don't feel it worthy of our trust. We abandon the feminine. We bury it. We demonize it. We betray it. Her as a prostitute. We forget that feminine is a part of us, that the feminine is the essential half of what it needs to be human and what it needs to know God. We forget that something eternal lives within us for as long as we draw breath. We forget that we are both male and female, masculine and feminine, light and dark, conscious and unconscious, human and angel, divine and animal. We forget that we are all actually undivided. The Gospel of Thomas said, blessed are you in the midst of persecution who, when they hate and pursue you, even to the core of your being, cannot find you anywhere. It's only the ego that suffers betrayal. This is why you are beyond words and beyond any need to ever defend this eternity you hold in you. There is no you that can ever be threatened. What we have remembered is the other half of the story of Christ. We have remembered the love that it can only come to life through us from within. We have remembered her, the woman who knew Christ by heart.