 Hello, I'm Teresa Eyring, the executive director and CEO of TCG, and I use she-her-hers pronouns. I'm grateful to welcome everyone to the first plenary of TCG's virtual conference, Re-emergence. Before we begin, we want to take this moment to acknowledge the native land that we're on. This is meant to be a moment of recognition and respect, to broaden awareness of the history of this land, and as a beginning step to showing our commitment to repairing relationships with native communities. We also want to acknowledge and uplift that some native folks have pointed out that land acknowledgments have often become an empty and performative gesture by white people and institutions. We recognize that this by no means should be the end of our solidarity and support of native communities, nor does it in any way make up for the theft, colonization, and forced removal of native land and communities perpetrated by this country. I'm currently on Lena-Hooking, the lands of the Lenape peoples. We put a link to a land map in the chat box, and we ask that you take some time to enter what native land you're calling from in the chat. In your own time, review the land acknowledgments there and consider ways in which you can act in solidarity with native communities and colleagues. So this conference has been radically shifted two times. In response to the COVID-19 global pandemic, our move to a two-part virtual convening. And now, in the past few days, in response to the older plague of white supremacy, performed so loudly in recent weeks in acts of violence. The second shift has made TCG reframe all of our programming through two criteria. Does this session center black, indigenous people of color? And does it actively work to dismantle white supremacy? If it doesn't, we're not doing it right now. It doesn't mean that we don't deeply value the work that went into the sessions and content that had been planned. And we hope to bring many of them to you in the weeks to come. It means that we're trusting you to stand with us, as we say. We can't do that work right now, not while our streets are on fire and our colleagues are exhausted. And they're exhausted not only by the plunder of black lives in the streets, but also in our theaters, where for too long their struggles have been met with silence, with inaction, with half-measures, and worse, with theater-making that has capitalized on black pain. If this pandemic is truly a portal, as named by author Arundhati Roy, then we must pass through it and leave behind structures and systems that have inflicted perpetual harm on our black, indigenous, people of color colleagues. One very small way we're doing that is by shifting our language to follow the lead of many activists to say not just people of color, but black, indigenous, and people of color, or BIPOC. The scourge of racism does not affect all people of color equally, and the ongoing legacies of genocide and slavery have fallen with brutal impact upon our black and indigenous colleagues. And we've been reminded that when we don't lift up how deeply intertwined black and indigenous resistance to white supremacy has been, we risk pitting people against each other. After all, the police officer who murdered George Floyd had previously been involved with the shooting of a Native man, Leroy Martinez. For these reasons and more, that's why we're saying our programming is centered on our BIPOC colleagues. Part of that commitment means asking folks who aren't speaking directly to this moment to share their contributions later. And so NEA Chair Mary Ann Carter will be sharing her video address at a later date. It also means not including in this plenary space those who are being called out by our BIPOC colleagues. We want to honor Griffin Matthews, who in a widely shared video called out direct examples of racism and anti-blackness he experienced while working on his musical, Witness Uganda. He named that many white and white passing women who occupied positions of power in theater that behaved like Amy Cooper, the liberal white woman who called upon the lynching playbook and threatening Christian Cooper, a black man who had only asked her to follow the rules of a park. Later reporting that one of the people Griffin was referencing was Diane Paulus, whom we asked not to participate in this plenary as scheduled. Here's what we're going to do and not going to do in the time we have together. We're not going to litigate the accusations made in Griffin's video. We're not going to center Griffin Matthews for the hard work of naming racism and anti-blackness in our field. We're going to name that too often our BIPOC colleagues are punished and their careers harmed for doing so. I'm asking everyone listening to this session right now to continue to hire him, produce his work and entrust him with the leadership position of resources he and so many like him have earned. We're also not going to cancel anyone today. We're not engaging in a culture of disposability. In the days to come, we hope that restorative and transformative justice processes can move forward to address the harm caused by white supremacy in our field. We don't have time to do that work today, but what we do have time to do and what I'm asking from all of us right now is to give our whole selves and witness to the three extraordinary BIPOC speakers we have with us today. This is the work that needs and deserves our presence and undivided attention. We also want to honor TCG's Black staff members who've been contributing their extraordinary talents and energies to this convening amid this uprising. I'd like to pass the mic now to one of those staffers, Samuel Morielli, to introduce our presenters. Thank you, Teresa. Hi, everybody. My name is Samuel Morielli. I am the conferences and field-wide learning coordinator. I use they and he pronouns. We're first going to give our attention today to Jim Yilju, the artistic director of Kenny Leon's True Colors Theatre Company. We'll then pass it over to Monique Holt, the multi-talented director, actor, producer, and we will close out with the ever-powerful Nicole Salter, actor, writer and TCG board member. Good afternoon. It's crazy to me that I have an opportunity to address you all today. When I participated in my first real play 15 years ago, I had no idea TCG, let alone an entity called the American Theater, existed. I was an overzealous wannabe jock who wasn't skilled enough to make the travel roster of his D1 football team. So I had some extra time on my hands, why not be in a play? Once I felt the collective breath of an audience taking in the beginning of a play, I was hooked. And when you fast forward a few years and I'm a wide-eyed, full-lipped, bushy-tailed 23-year-old, and I've landed my first professional job as an Alan Lee Hughes fellow at Arena Stage, I read my first American Theater article, an older article written by Zelda Fitchhandler, one of the founders of our beloved movement. Learning the ropes in Zelda's dream house lit the flame of a desire to aspire to be like Zelda and become the artistic director of a theater one day. I then dedicated my career to learning how to do that. I was taught that the position took leadership, problem-solving skills, and a sharp acumen that was only developed after spending years learning the trade like blacksmithing, a former boss of mine once told me. And here I am, coming to the end of my 11th year in the industry and on the third day of the ninth month of my career as an artistic director. The job looks a little different than the one I aspired to those years ago. On the 20th of May, the lovely Amelia sent a kind note to me after a Zoom meeting with my first year artistic leaders telling me how nice it was to see my ever Zoom present two-year-old journey and on the call that she wanted to gauge my interest in speaking at a conference session about COVID's impact on our work, where we are as a field, and where we're going. Emails from Amelia are always welcomed as an email from her changed my career's trajectory. She informed me I was receiving a TCG Leadership U grant back in 2015. And yes, Michael Francis and Amelia, I still list the fellowship in my bio as per the grant agreement. And even though the time period has passed, I'm still nervous that one day you'll come back and take it. Now, I quickly... One moment, everybody, it looks like Jameel, we may have lost your connection. Bear with us for one moment, folks. Hey, everybody, can I be heard? I can hear you, Jameel. OK. Should I continue? Yes, absolutely. Great. Sorry. Sorry. All right. I quickly affirmed my interest and started thinking about what to say. And these COVID times, when we are forced to be away from our institutions, the words of Jack Ruler came to mind about inspiring our community to continue to invent nontraditional ways of seeing theater. After leaving DC, I moved to Minnesota, where Jack's predictably unpredictable ideology taught me a lot. I recalled his audacious autonomy production set in a large event hall featuring driverless cars and audience members and golf carts. That popped into mind as I was thinking about what to speak about. While thinking of my time as a Minnesota artist, the words of mentors of mine like Marion McClinton and James A. Williams and Faye Price started to seep in, too. I thought about the collaborations they were able to build in St. Paul's Penumbra Theater, one of our field's pioneering black theaters, and also about the type of community-focused work they were able to continue at Pillsbury House Theater, located in the Powderhorn neighborhood in South Minneapolis. I began to think about how I could speak to the value of creating culturally relevant theater companies deeply rooted in the wants and needs of the community they serve. At that moment, I knew my direction, and the only thing to do was to write down the thoughts and get ready to slightly wing it a bit per my style at the conference. Then on Memorial Day, May 25th, George Floyd was murdered by Minneapolis police at the intersection of 38th and Chicago in the Powderhorn neighborhood in South Minneapolis, three blocks away from Pillsbury House Theater on 35th in Chicago. Marion McClinton once told me, and it's something I continue to share with actors, that the expression of anger is grief that has been silenced for too long. I deploy the phrase whenever I'm asking an actor to reconsider the impulse to yell or scream their lines in hopes of connecting them back to the suppressed grief their character has witnessed. In the time between the moment the life was forcibly snuffed out of George Floyd's body, and me speaking to you today, I've seen blocks that I frequented, post offices my mail was delivered to, and the community members I've marched in solidarity with lay heavy with hurt, and I've seen their pain boil over. In the time between George Floyd's public lynching and today, I've seen black people, friends, family, my wife, my mother, my colleagues battle back tears as they consider how George Floyd could have been them, or their children, or their parent, or their friend, or their partner. One particular colleague is my staff member, Nikki Toomes, who reminded me of the words of the great Griot August Wilson, and King Henry II, the character Tanya shares her truth. You take little buddy Will's mother up on Brymar Road, what she got? A heartache that don't never go away. Down in her living room, she got to sit down because she can't stand up. She's sitting down trying to figure it out, trying to figure out what happened. One minute her house is full of life, the next minute it's full of death. She was waiting for him to come home, and they bring her a corpse. Say come down and make the identification. Is this your son? Got a tag on his toe, say John Doe. They got to put a number on it. John Doe, number four. She got the dinner on the table. Say Junior like fried chicken. She got some of that. Say Junior like string beans. She got some of that. She don't know Junior ain't eating no more. He got a pile of clothes she washing up. She don't know. Junior don't need no more clothes. She look in the closet. Junior ain't got no suit. She got to go buy one. He can't try it on. She got to guess the size. Somebody come up and tell her miss so-and-so, your boy got shot. She know before they say it. Her knees start to get weak. She's shaking her head. She don't want to hear it. Somebody call the police. They come and pick them up off the sidewalk. Dead nigger on Brentmore Road. On that same day that a human being named George Floyd was executed in what could only be viewed as the epitome of white supremacy and where the all too powerful metaphor of a knee pressing onto someone's neck choking the life out of them while they plead for breath. I saw a white woman use her privilege to incite panic and alert the police by screaming that a bird watching Black man was threatening the life of her and her dog. In the time since those events I've seen my current home Atlanta, Georgia burn and in cities across the nation where I've created art inspired empathy doing this thing we call theater and in cities where I've called home I've seen people take to the streets. In my own home my partner is so enraged. She's mad because the companies and organizations she supported, corporations she's worked for, and businesses she spent her money with are failing to respond to this moment. We'd love to enjoy watching our two-year-old embrace her daily discoveries but yet we have to navigate all of this. In the time since I've watched as members of our creative community and the arts organizations they are affiliated with put out statements of solidarity and speak up about the evils of racism and I've also seen my Black colleagues begin to push back against the racist and white supremacist culture of the American theater. I've seen videos go viral and post the personal testimonies touch the hearts of the masses as people have decided that their grief has been silenced for too long. In my time studying the waves of artistic leaders and those who have held positions of power, influence, and leadership in the American theater I've come to one upsetting conclusion. It's all been a lie. The idea that anyone can become a successful artistic director is a lie because we built our edifices on the pillars of white supremacy. We built boards to perpetuate its principles. We've catered to an audience who refuses to embrace our perpetrated values of diversity and equity. We beat down the spirits of Black Indigenous artists and administrators of color who put on the thick coat of armor to walk inside our buildings every day. We've profited off of their work yet we refuse to set them up with a runway to a fully realized career. I believe the lie. I accepted the idea that the American theater put in my head that maybe I could change the system. I dedicated my TCG fellowship to finding ways to create a pathway for more BIPOC leaders to inherit our flagship and important regional theaters. I accepted that lie that the change was super hard and that as leaders we are beholden to backwards boards and aging audiences but eventually change will happen. Well if not now then when? When discussing the impact of COVID with another newly minted AD Michael Bobbitt he said to me that a return to business as usual will feel like a failure. Knowing Michael he probably meant something more profound but I read it to be that COVID is a moment to rethink the ways we run our organizations. That the leadership in this field is made of a problem-solving sharp-minded individuals that our funders in our communities have entrusted with their support. They are the visionary leaders I was told I had to apprentice under before becoming an AD. Surely they are capable of making the changes we need and in that moment Michael's truth rubbed up against the big lie. I believe that in any moment of theoretical dissonance there must be three sides to an argument so I applied them here. The first is that if the change could not be achieved then the leadership in this field must not have gotten here by the same merit based system I was made to believe existed. That the leadership arrived at their positions underqualified to lead us in the direction we all want to be led. If that's the case then our leadership has benefited from a system of white privilege that allows underqualified people to assume leadership positions while making it more difficult for people of color with equal and greater qualification to land those same jobs. If it's not true and our leaders are upset and feel triggered that I hinted that they are underqualified for their positions they need to know that that is the exactly how my colleagues feel when their intelligence is challenged in board meetings when our audience Camille we may have lost your audio again. Right when it was getting good too. Back y'all. You are back. I'm back. You are back now. You were ramping up right then dive right back in please. Right I believe that in any moment of theoretical dissonance there must be three sides to an argument so I applied them here. The first is that if the change could not be achieved and the leadership in the field must not have gotten here by the same merit based system I was made to believe existed. That the leadership arrived at their positions underqualified to lead us in the direction we all want to be led. If that's the case then our leadership has benefited from a system of white privilege that allows underqualified people to assume leadership positions while making it more difficult for people of color with equal and greater qualifications to land those same jobs. If it's not true and our leaders are upset and feel triggered that I hinted that they are underqualified for their position they need to know that that is exactly how many of my colleagues feel when their intelligence is challenged in board meetings when our audience members treat patients of color like they don't belong and when we try to tell artists of color that their authentic experiences and expressions don't fit into the narrow box we've outlined for them. If side number one is untrue then maybe the reality must be that there has been a gross case of malpractice not too dissimilar to the county coroner who did the initial autopsy on George Floyd and arrived at a different conclusion than the independent reviewer. If our leadership cannot create the system that they in their own statements of solidarity say they want then we have been hoodwinked bamboozled let astray run amuck. If the above two statements are untrue and yet systemic change is still impossible then the third side is possibly the most disheartening. Our leadership must believe that white supremacy is the law of the land and they too believe that black people aren't entitled to the same equity and opportunity that they themselves enjoy. Foundations in our funding community must believe this too as they continue to give out grants at disproportionate rates. The racial demographics suggest that organizations most deserving of these essential dollars are white led and white serving. As we extend the field's disinterest out to include other BIPOC communities the possibility of this reality is just too heavy. I pray it's untrue. I pray that the colleagues who smile with me in sessions who like pictures of my family on social media and who commit themselves to the same daily pursuit don't value me and my skin folk at three-fifths to their whole. I can't answer those questions for the field but I know that our actions will reveal the truth. I know that because the people who have charted the path for me shouted back at our indifference to be better decades ago and yet the actions of leadership didn't make enough change. Leaders of the Black Arts Movement done this before and this is the progress we put forth. So don't text me asking me to see how I'm feeling. Don't ask me to come work alongside your organization. Don't email me asking to run some ideas by me for free if we aren't actually going to do it. Matter of fact, you fix it. You're visionary leaders. Honestly saying these things shouldn't be on me. It shouldn't be upon it shouldn't be up to a first year Black AD to stand up and say enough is enough. I should be focused on ensuring that true colors is living up to the values we state and that we are a home for Black artists and community. I shouldn't have to feel nervous about the effect of sharing these truths and the negative repercussions that may befall me or my organization or my Black colleagues. We are facing a crisis of moral leadership. A white leader should be the one standing up to our colleagues and say that our practices are wrong. Our white colleagues should call out the bad behavior our artists are speaking out about. I'm thankful for the way in which TCG has made changes to the convening and to today's panel. Their leadership is so crucial and to the way that and the way that they have advocated for disruption of the norm is admirable. Our platforms have to be pathways to progress. I believe that down in my soul, deep in my soul that's my truth and I must first hold myself accountable. If I have a platform and I don't use it to its full extent then I am just as complicit as the failed leadership that's led to this moment. I've let white supremacy win and failing to use my platform I've not just believed the lie I've become the lie. I've become the artistic director that I railed against when I set my eyes towards that role at 23. Yesterday my fellow panelists Nicole Salter said to me that if you don't believe in empathy then why are we making theater? I'll add to that if you can't create a system where we can inspire empathy and achieve true equity then why are we leading theaters? Our government's leadership failed to respond to this COVID crisis. That should piss every one of us off because of them we can't do things we love like discover a new moment in the rehearsal room or embrace an audience member who's experienced something profound inside of our theater or share in a playwright's joy at the final curtain of their world premiere. When we eventually return to our institutions will our leadership ensure that those above experiences ones that I hoped filled us all with nostalgia and the outburst of joy will our leadership ensure those said experiences are able to be shared by everyone on this call. That first breath when the curtain goes up and the audience takes in the beginning of a new story that's what we're fighting for. Thank you to the mentors and those who came before me for your fight. Thank you to Amelia and to TCG for allowing me to speak to you all today. I pass it to my colleague Monique Hope. Hello everyone. Hi. All right. Hi. My name is Monique. Momo is my name sign and my nickname. I'm involved. I've been involved with this organization since 2017 for EDI as a co-facilitator. That was my first experience participating in what's going on with TCG and I've got to tell you I was impressed. There's still a lot of work left to be done and I'm happy. I'm grateful. Thank you for letting me be on this panel. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express some positions of the disability and deaf community. Now with coronavirus and with Black Lives Matter it is definitely disheartening and I also stand with you all at the same time as an actor. I'd like to say that I'd like to say I'm just an actor and then I can hear and see no evil but that would be a lie. I am a part of this community which means we are working together and I never thought that I would be involved with hearing people meaning you know they're not signing. They're speaking and they're listeners and that's because I was adopted by a deaf family. It was a white family. I went to school where they use sign language and the high school performing arts that use sign language and I ended up in a hearing university. I said oh well you know and now I'm here and I work in both worlds in the hearing world and theater in the deaf theater world and I realize that I have become part of a bridge between these two worlds because in the deaf community you don't get the same information as the hearing community and they also they don't hear you know we see that's how we get our information through our eyes with captions that's how we get our information. If an interpreter comes up that's that's why you see an interpreter here and also captions at the bottom of the screen. It's very important visual information so for us how we in how how we get deaf people involved and how we participate it's a lot of work we have to do a lot of leg work which means I have a lot of legs all over the place and myself as an actor I work for different theater repertory companies. There's a lot of big gigs that I work for. I work for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and I have learned a lot in my time. Bill Rowe Schroesch who was his last year and he was a facilitator and we really we talked a lot about POC what does that mean people of color for the community in Oregon and let me tell you oh my god it's so racist in Oregon states and they don't care and they they show how racist they are and how can we POC people of color feel safe I think that's a primary issue for the artistic director they're very worried about about that and so what he did was he went to different stores and restaurants in the neighborhood and different businesses and engaged and engaged all of them so that they could feel like they were aware and on guard and to understand the Oregon Shakespeare Festival has to create created space for their audience to feel safe and it is possible and we can make it happen we need to educate people we need to you know engage with them and June the Juneteenth celebration we included an LGBTQ celebration summer outdoor performances exhibitions to in order to share our art and our stories we've done that and that's what we have to do more of more and more of that and that also means we have to include interpreters and captioners in order to do that correctly oftentimes we in the deaf community we the deaf community are excluded and so what can we do um what can we do about that you know that's another issue so for example we've finally been able to participate in Broadway you know for with Big River and King Lear um you know to kill a mockingbird you know spring awakening there's all of the and they're continuing to hire deaf people to put to to be on Broadway which is amazing but at the same time we are we need to bring more POC more people of color it's slow but we are on a steady march forward so we see okay what's the problem because why don't we see more POC involved and it's because we don't reach out and some of that information doesn't come across which means we need a team of scouts of people who are who know where to go and who to contact in order to get the word out and I think that it's it's similar for all people of color in the theater community we have to watch and see and get everyone together and also we have to educate the white theater community um and that's one thing that I'm really pushing for um and Elena Chang she is awesome we had a wonderful conversation and that is what we need to do we have to have open dialogue um we were talking about edi and how there's no limit to meetings or conversations um we include and we have to include those things in the collegiate curriculum and I'm so serious I'm not kidding I really really encourage to develop a 16 week curriculum that is specifically for the theater department and the HR department um in order to include like it also to include job opportunities um and creative writing and we need to get those lessons also um hopefully we can expand to high school courses um but edi needs to be aware of how we can all work together and work as a team and stand together um oftentimes I find myself very frustrated uh as a person as an Asian person of color um what like what can I do I ask myself and you know I when it comes to I hate selling myself as like as girl scout cookies you know um I don't I don't get a badge right um I wish I could get an artist badge you know for the first time so I you know I went to the artist's director and I said I would like to direct this and the artistic director said oh you're deaf well I don't know how that's going to go understand I have an MFA degree you know and the artistic director said well yeah but I don't think we're hearing people are ready for you that's what they said to me so I always hire hearing directors for miracle worker for tribes that's what they did they and these are all deaf characters involved and they're they're going to hire a hearing director and I am perplexed by that so we have a similar problem I've noticed that it's very interesting interpreter interpreted theater um interpreters who work for theater um when it comes to black and asian interpreters they don't ever call me to do anything involving theater work unless there's a person of color in the show what is that what the fuck wgf why um you know it's not only theater but outside it all has that that has to stop you know we are people we are artists we life mimics art art mimics life we are intertwined and it's not there's not an unequal balance it is all intertwined so that's one thing it's all intersecting thank you and so when we talk about inclusion for me I don't believe in that word really in the word inclusion um it's kind of like bringing one oh poor one one poor person and bringing them into our group no I want to see what intersectionality what what it looks like to be intersectional which means that all of us come together and create a collective world like a flower like petals in a flower you know and we can bloom together if we have that ideology not not the other kind so we have to stop thinking of things like that we are part of a whole we are not one group and one other group we are one whole and um and that's really my message thank you um and now I I think I'll go ahead and turn it over to Nicole thank you what's up y'all so yo Jamil Momo so happy to be in your company so thankful for all the things you had to say you speak the truth a lot of this is going for like redundant because they don't set it y'all they don't set it all but I'm gonna I'm gonna give you my piece and let it rest what a time this is an epically injurious time yes what an uncertain time absolutely but also what an opportune time I don't mean opportune in the opportunistic way in a let's buy up all the property and stocks while the price is low way in a kick a person while they're down exploit them because they're desperate way but I do mean what a particularly favorable and appropriate time this is every time is a time for something every condition lends itself to more certain activities than others ask women who give childbirth there is a time to breathe and there's a time to push there is a time for everything under the sun some of these times are a product of our force but some of these times are natural they're built into the life cycle of everything we call these times break down fall apart break through some call them ebb some call them winter some call them death and I think I believe such a time is this and in that regard at this time when I feel my industry crumbling around me my society crumbling around me my nation even coming done violently I am choosing to be excited yes I am full of anxiety and rage and exhaustion I was going to curse but I'm not and fear but I'm also excited because it could be said every tornado has an eye we all know that from the movie with Helen Hunt and the middle of that eye is still it's a pause I'm excited for the pause this time to stand still I find solace in that pause because in it we can look up and see everything whirling around us we can see the bigger picture we can do some assessments some recalibration some strategic planning we can take a universal long view and that perhaps strangely comforts me from this wide view I can get out of my own me narrative and see that the disease is something we are all experiencing and it is well appropriate just like anger is an appropriate outcome of perceived injustice destruction is an appropriate outcome an inevitable outcome a reliable outcome when you're out of alignment with the truth of nature see human beings create societal systems that reflect how we see the world in the western world we once thought the world was flat linear hierarchical and what did we create the food chain the chain of command cast systems ladders of success over hundreds of years of believing our perception was reality we finally in relatively recent times come to learn that the world is round life is cyclical that nature is ordered not ranked lions are as important as the bees there is no linear change instead all things are connected inextricably if you move a rock in Montana you make a wave on the coast of Indonesia Indonesia we've come to know these things these things that indigenous cultures around the globe already knew beyond the shadow of a doubt the western world used its scientific method the method it trusts above all else to finally come to know these things that they are true with the capital T but what systems do we continue to create we talk about checks and balances but all our systems have always only manifested hierarchy we are out of alignment with the truth and whenever a living thing is out of alignment with the truth therein lies the emergence of dis ease dis ease signaled not by pain pain is natural physical teething is paid birth is plain growth is pain injury is paid mistakes are paid but suffering suffering is unnecessary suffering is mental suffering is the condition of remaining out of alignment despite opportunities for restoration i think it's safe to say there's a lot of suffering in the world suffering that at the root comes from this dis alignment from living a perpetual unceasing lie scarcity is a lie there is enough for every human being on the planet everything they have to thrive in life we have created systems that do not allow for that truth to manifest but just because we insist on the experience of scarcity doesn't change the truth of nature's abundance just because the clouds cover the sky doesn't mean that the sun stops shining ability is a lie we have different abilities race is a lie our skin has different colors and shades that's true but what we made skin color mean that's a lie systems that value some people more or less than others is a lie gender binary is a lie our genitalia may be different this is true but what we made genitalia mean that is a lie these lies cause suffering because that's what lies do think about the lies you've lived think about the times you've been lied to all the times that you have lied you suffered you caused suffering you know this is true you know this is true these lies this disease and this suffering permeate every aspect of the western world perhaps every aspect of every world our field is not excluded because it is well-intentioned because it is a 501c3 charitable endeavor our field is actually in actuality built on these lies of scarcity of hierarchy every season the systems we have created these systems we continue to honor and uphold and work within affirm in best practice year after year there is not enough to go around some people are more valuable than others that some things are more normal while others are not just as we as a nation in practice year after year continue to affirm with the systems that we build and maintain that all men are not created equal all men are created equal but we do not believe it for if we believed it it would be apparent in our manifest outcomes so what do we believe we believe there's not enough resources we believe money and power will make us impervious to harm we believe that control and dominance of our spheres of influence are the most honorable endeavors we believe in hazing we believe inclusion is earned through dominance and competition we believe in the survival of the fittest human being and that the weak is deserving of death we believe the victor gets to tell the story we believe that white people are the center of the world's progress and are the only contributors to progress we believe that the ends justify the means how do i know this look what we've created and yet knowing this brings me joy because inherent in this awareness of suffering is the potential for the suffering to stop for the balance and the truth to be restored if we let it it is not a transgression to be out of alignment with what is true it happens it is a transgression to remain out of alignment once you become aware once you see the suffering it is not a ridiculous thing to believe that the world was flat that's all we could see but when it became evident that we wouldn't fall off of the planet at the horizon that the horizon is perpetual it also became clear that the line is a lie it's a circle it's a sphere it's a never ending everything connected hodgepodge another cool thing about nature is that she cannot be divide defied as long as we are out of alignment we will continue to suffer we can numb ourselves temporarily we can create new policies we can distract ourselves periodically but nature will offer no reprieve to our suffering until we change her law is absolute as long as we live a lie we will suffer suffer until we destroy ourselves even nature does not care she will take our carcasses and decompose them like the rich soil for something new to be created something new and healthy and in alignment with the truth life will go on the difference between human beings and most things in nature to our knowledge is that we don't have to wait for evolution to change us we can opt into the necessary change we can actively participate in and direct to an extent our own evolution we don't have to keep the systems we have we made them up we can make up something else and there's no better time to do it than when things fall apart when the dam is breaking because it would be sad it would be so sad it would be even more suffering inducing to after this moment in our field return to manifesting the lies we were manifesting in the systems of our best practices how can we do that how can we choose to step out of our suffering first i think we can even if just for a moment in our imaginations we can take this moment to press pause and assess the mission and whether or not we're on it who are we artists people who give creative expression to life and its meaning what are we doing we're telling stories why are we doing it because stories are an essential component to human existence every human being is a storyteller by nature humans can only experience life through the context of a narrative stories are the software to the body's hardware narrative is the only way we can experience and make meaning out of life but if every human being is a natural storyteller then why do we need to be storytellers because we want to bring more consciousness to the story making we want to influence the collective narrative of humanity so that we may participate with more awareness and our own collective evolution so that we may choose with more awareness who we want to be by looking at the events that determine who we are why we are we do it because every human being by virtue of being alive has the right to contribute to the human narrative to be included in the collective narrative to bear witness to the narrative of humanity how do we do it currently we do it out of integrity we say one thing and do another the nonprofit theater world was created to ensure that every community has access to participate in the evolving narrative of humanity but most art institutions across the country are seemingly only interested in producing theater derived from new york ivy league broadway industrial complexes how do we measure success box office receipts reviews transfers are those indicators of service we say we give voice to the voiceless when some of us haven't even heard from our own staff members and artists we say we serve the community and the people across the street from our institutions don't even know what we do let alone find our offerings to be of service to anything that they need we say we believe in diversity equity and inclusion and our staffs our boards and audiences and the majority of our artists are all disproportionately white and cisgendered and able and let's not even talk about diversity equity and inclusion of ideas and artistic forms we tell lies i was asked by devin to reflect on what i want to change in this moment there are so many policies i want to change in this world i would love it if every case of police misconduct was automatically sent to an independent prosecutor and the officer taken off duty and put at half or no pay and kept from using benefits until the issue was speedily and thoroughly resolved maybe they think twice about how they treat us because they no longer have the benefit of the doubt like every other citizen but that would be pruning the tree because after root the idea that certain lives have no value would still live prejudice discrimination and racism and transphobia and homophobia and misogyny will all just manifest and some other heinous way in our field i want to take this opportunity to get to the root of this strange fruit i want us to correct this lack of integrity stop lying to ourselves and each other stop lying to the communities we're living in about what we value and about what we're doing to serve don't say you're in solidarity when what you mean is that you offer a distance support and endless empathy because where i'm from solidarity looks like my sister is fighting i take off my earrings put up my hair and i start fighting and when someone asks me why i'm fighting i say my sister's fighting support is let me text you the link to the bus schedule solidarity is i pull up to your house you get in and i say where we going solidarity with an ideal means that when the tentacles of hierarchy and dominance are dismantling equity i get some bricks and go rebuild it i risk my reputation and speak up i snatch the mic like senator mccain and say no no that's not true we can disagree but we will not lie raymond bobgan told me that his cfo believes the story of a person or an organization's values lies in its budget how do you spend how you spend your money and your time tells the story of what means the most to you tells the prophecy of what you will become i want our budgets to reflect the truth of nature i want our mission statements to reflect the truth of nature i want our actions to reflect the truth of nature i want the systems for delivery of our services to reflect the truth of nature i want us to be in and maintain this integrity so i either want us to change our entire system to achieve this integrity or i want us to just tell the truth we serve rich and or white and or old and or able and or cisgender members of society because that's what we're actually doing that's who spends money and time with us and that's who we spend money and time on i want us to step into our power and accept its full responsibility the responsibility of being a storyteller the theater making of the past may be just that of the past if that system dissipates as it apparently is do we stop being of service is our service no longer useful are we non-essential when there are no hospitals does the nurse stop being necessary or do we turn the gym into a hospital how do we build systems that allow us to be of service no matter what today right now we are writing the story that creates meaning out of the events recently strewn upon us i want us right now at this opportune time as the tornado raises the land to find joy in the destruction of the lie in the destruction of the systems that limit us to the lie in the destruction of the cultural notion that we exist for the entertainment of people i want us to find joy that we get to rebuild in truth and make a contribution to the end of this unnecessary suffering we are storytellers we tell stories we can make this moment mean whatever we want what will you do to shape that meaning let's get to work passing it to sam i'm muted sorry uh thank you nicole i i would invite all of our panelists please come on on video joining me here thank you monique seeing you nicole seeing you jameel do you want to hop on with me here i think you have to give me access it says i can't start because you start y'all i am first of all just blown away by you each and every one of you this session is supposed to end at 1 p.m um folks at home watching us i'm sorry that we don't i don't believe we have time for q&a um and i think that's very okay i'm so happy to have seen you all just take as much space as you needed in this moment um my team has told me that we uh have gotten phrased in many different ways this one question that i we've decided it is maybe just a good closing thought for this plenary and a call to action to our attendees this week in a moment of national urgency um and that is we've seen many non-black indigenous people of color white and white passing leaders making black lives matter statements and continuing to uphold white supremacist structures so my call to action my question to you all before we close out our time together how do we collectively continue to hold those folks accountable to doing the work that it takes to dismantle this system how do we hold each other accountable to doing the work that it takes to dismantle this system and if any of you would like to offer any other response i i would invite you to do that um otherwise i think there's more program to i want to be clear i'm not putting this i have no we know i just i just turned my my camera on because i was typing this but you know i'm reading the chat and everybody's saying don't end the session don't end the session don't end the session the session is the conference we ended the conference for this session this session is the work we're only doing this more of this all week long um so uh you know we have uh some time constraints and because we gotta figure the rest of this stuff out but i i just wanted to say i'm so grateful um to our panelists for taking the space and if you yourself have a response to Sam's call to action of how we may uh keep those non- BIPOC people accountable can you put it in the chat and put some of the work you know back to the group um help us to share some of your thoughts and we can just reflect on that in the closing moment um and thank you for taking in the taking in the chat we're going to pass to sarisa iran as we as we just take in taking these chats hi everyone am i back well i just want to thank jamil monique and nicole for those unbelievably urgent and powerful remarks um and just to say it was an honor to witness you all um people are asking in the chat lots and lots of requests for us to make these these speeches available um the session is being recorded and we will also talk to them about whether or not they are willing to have those speeches transcribed so letting you know that i also just want to say that uh as a white leader in this theater field i really want to work with my white colleagues to figure out how we can dismantle white supremacy in our theater field yesterday there were over 2000 white people who participated in anti-racist space and i think you know there is there's a will and a desire among so many to be able to as as nicole talked about the lies to be able to see where the lies are and commit to to building a new truth of our field and that means centering bipoc black indigenous and people of color and and again committing to dismantling the white supremacy that exists within the very foundations of our theater field so i i encourage us uh to use the time together to really over the next few days explore that and figure out what our next steps are together again if you have ideas if you want to put ideas in the chat please do so make sure you show up in the rest of the sessions um also before i want to go i want to share a few logistics and then offer an invitation another invitation to you all first i want to lift up that the artistic director and trustee summits are happening and the managing director summit has been rescheduled to tomorrow uh for the conference attendees the rest of the schedule will be posted in mighty networks so if you're an attendee who needs support with mighty networks please contact re-emergence2020atTCG.org that's re-emergence2020atTCG.org and now i'd like us to engage in one final collective act of witness and affirmation please share at least one moment from jamil monique and nicole's remarks that was meaningful to you in the chat on the zoom or in the comments if you're in youtube if there was something in particular that resonated with you a charge to accountability you're going to hold whatever you want to reflect back is an active thanks for their work we'll hold for a moment i think we can hold for a moment as we engage in this active collective gratitude and we'll save these affirmations and if you can't stay and add to the chat then please just write down for yourself a moment that you that really struck you from what you heard and we'll have opportunities to share that as we go forward into the next few days of convening thank you so much and we'll be with you again soon is the chat going to be recorded there's something i'm trying to read them all it's too much like we're gonna save it nicole okay please keep putting this in the chat panelists i'll invite you now if you are feeling a little awkward sitting here in silence you can shut off your videos and we can just hold this virtual space for a moment all right everybody thank you for your time together i'm going to end this webinar and please um i ask you to just consider these questions that we've asked um these offerings that these panelists have given you and i look forward to seeing you all the rest of the convening this week be safe