 So this morning, I was thinking about how marriage used to be the ideal when it came to relationships and Nowadays it seems like Marriage has become a thing of the past and what I mean to say is the idea of courting someone You know, it doesn't seem to exist as much as it used to be because courting has been replaced with dating I repeat that courting has been with we're placed with dating now courting used to have some level of Intentionality and what I mean to say is when a man You know wanted to be with a person they usually courted them with the idea of getting married Okay So there was a level of intentionality and certainly that process was a very short process Most of the time in fact in many cases they could have been as as short as two weeks Or up to two months and I'm certainly there are plenty of people back in the old days that had long Engagements or with each other a long period of time, but for the most part it happened rather quickly and Then yet now we've replaced courting with dating and what I mean by dating is it's basically a trial run But a trial run to what? Because these days I've noticed in the dating marketplace It's actually become more of a hookup culture in relationship than an actual Intention of wanting to be in a fully committed relationship, and this is certainly more so true for those of us in midlife And yet I suspect with the younger generation It's mostly hooking up because it seems like they barely have intention of getting married and with the older generation Well, I mean the older generation those of us who are baby boomers gen Xers and whatnot I said it was kind of a hookup because what's really being desired these days is a level of companionship Connection and physical intimacy with one another without any level of commitment Repeat that this is really important to understand most people today are experiencing companionship connection and sex without any Intentionality now if you're familiar with my My chart of the three people that are actively dating today I'm going to put it up on the screen and you can see that this is not a fact It's merely an opinion. I say roughly about 20% of the population are users Users those people that are basically act entitled. They're only in it for themselves. They're basically Takers these are the love bombers and that sort of thing and while I say 20% of the population are growers and builders These are people who actively want to be in a serious type of relationship They have intentionality in the process and they want a full fully committed relationship And yet probably 60% of the population are spenders And when I mean by spenders, they want that companionship connection and sex and yet They're probably not capable of any deeper level of commitment because they have unresolved childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes it very difficult for them to lean into a relationship, which is why it seems like many people are getting used these days for that companionship connection and sex. I repeat that they're being used and not from a level of intentionality I truly believe that most humans don't intentionally want to use someone. I don't think men intentionally want to use a woman Certainly there are the sociopaths out there and there's those real clinic issues with people with clinical issues But I don't think people want to do that because they're Experiencing such pain in their lives Emotional pain in their lives and this is why they actually use people and in a moment We'll kind of sift out some of the signs that you can be prepared to Look for so you don't find yourself in a situation of being used now One of the things I think is hugely important is to shore up your own Emotional maturity because here in the United States. We have a mental health. We we have an emotional mental health crisis I'm gonna repeat that an emotional mental health crisis I would say the vast majority of human beings Are suffering from not feeling good enough not feeling lovable and not feeling likable And can I say I experienced this myself as well even in my current relationship? I've experienced this So this is we are we we are not Immune to this feeling it's one of the reasons why I wrote my book What the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work By the way, there's a link below in the description under Jonathan recommend books as well as self-love the book calm I Wrote this book is a vaccination to emotional chaos and and as I said a moment ago, I'm not immune to it I certainly am not suffering it from it from a consistent basis And whether you purchase the books I recommend in this video or actively seek a level of therapy I think it's important to recognize that emotional Mental health is a is a we're dealing with a crisis here And it's why so many people actually experience being used in relationship because as I said before marriage used to be the ideal and There when you had marriage as the ideal There was a real commitment to trying to work it out there was a real intentionality because there was also a consequence although nowadays the consequence of divorce doesn't Have the same not just emotional stigma, but financial stigma as it used to be now I'm not suggesting there isn't some level of pain with it Certainly, I'm sure men and women have suffered a lot of pain from a financial perspective but what I want to lean into later in this video is to be more intentional in the process of dating because if you're not You might find yourself for lack of better word being used in a relationship So let's let me put on my trusty glasses. I'm gonna pull out my notes blah blah blah And I want to share with you those Wait, my things men say or do if they're using you so number one You know, this is maybe personal to me But I think when when when the conversations in the relationship are rather boring or lack depth I'm gonna repeat that are boring or lack depth. I Think that probably indicates that they're not really intentional about the process You know, I jokingly use the Seinfeld episode where Kramer says, you know He's talking about what marriage is like and he goes. This is what marriage is like. It's gonna be how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Did you have a really good day? The Conversations lack a level of depth and I'm sure you've experienced this in relationship This is one of the reasons why I love the following meme that I'm gonna share with you all and I've shared this multiple times in my videos But the meme says I hate small talk I want to talk about Adam's death alien sex magic intellect the meaning of life far away galaxies Music that makes you feel different memories the lies you've told your flaws your favorite scent your childhood What keeps you up at night your insecurity and fears? I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind I don't want to know what's up Folks I it's interesting I've spoken to so many women in relationship after a breakup and when I hear that the level there their Relationship lacked a level of depth. I asked myself. What made this relationship so great and In many cases many of you ladies are attached to somebody who's not even fun to be with but you're physically and Emotionally attached to them most likely because you're experiencing Whether it's oxytocin that bonds you to someone or you're experiencing what's called love attachment style or a moggo And if you're not familiar with these two books the book attached by Amir Levine and getting and Rachel Heller as well as getting the love You want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt I highly recommend reading these books so you can understand that you're most likely Experiencing what's known as love attachment style to someone that you don't even like or you don't have any level of death Many of you know, I'm in a new relationship. It's well it's going I mean although we've known each other for a year It's more significant now in the last two months and one of the things we do even this morning We shared a fear. I shared a fear that was coming up for me because I got triggered By by sharing that fear that vulnerability not from a place of weakness But for simply a place of providing information of what's going on inside of me just sharing a thought It's not real thoughts aren't always real It actually shines light on it and it builds deeper Intimacy with your partner and if you're not familiar with the book by Robert Masters called emotional intimacy I highly recommend reading this book so you can learn how to develop a level of Emotional intimacy with your partner and vulnerability is one of the most powerful ways to build intimacy with a partner But if your conversations are boring and lacking depth then most likely you're going to feel used later on down The road because the relationship probably doesn't have any deep roots to actually sustain itself from a long-term perspective Number two you haven't met anyone important in his life By the way Think about it. We I mean I'm assuming most people have friends or family in their life And if you haven't met the important people in their life That's a sure sign that he actually doesn't feel a level of depth or Commitment with you because we want like one of the first things my girlfriend I did when we when we spent our real life our first significant weekend together as we met each other's friend actually our Second significant weekend with each other. We met our friends that shows a level of wanting to Build something with somebody so if you're not feeling they're not meeting their friends that could be a sign You're being used by someone number three He has issues or avoids Discussing commitment. He has issues. I let's not talk about commitment. I don't want to talk about commitment I I had a committed relationship. I want to take it slow. I want to take it real slow Thinking it slow is an avoidance mechanism taking it slow is saying I have no idea whether or not I really like you But my penis gets to go inside your vagina whenever I want folks The reality is this and I'm I'm listen. I'm not a puritan here. I'm here to merely say Sex should be something that you covet sex should be something Reserve for those who want to build a full-time relationship with each other and look I am guilty of having sex and not calling someone afterwards I am guilty of having friends with venom that's in my life I've all I've believed I've been upfront about all that So I'm not here to say I'm a puritan here, but I certainly Want to encourage everyone to recognize that Sex should be reserved for people who want to explore a long-term committed relationship. I Shouldn't say should I'm just encouraging that Okay, this is why if you read my dating vows. There's a bit description There's a my dating vows in the description below and I'll share it a little more detail in a moment I'm hugely a big proponent of Having deeper conversations before you become physically intimate with someone number four he asks favors of you Without Returning any favors he asked favors of you he is asking for things from you especially money If someone asked money from you early on that is a clear sign most likely a clear sign you're being used So I highly would be Listen, I was in a relationship some years ago and she asked me to go to the grocery store to buy dog food and I asked her to come with me to a doctor's appointment, you know, and I say these are favors But it's basically there was teamwork level there. It's not a one-sided level of teamwork So this is what I'm talking about when they ask things of you and not doing it in return in a team-like fashion Okay number five He is selfish in the bedroom. He is selfish in the bedroom. He says it's all about getting himself off He doesn't even offer to give you pleasure That's a sign of someone who's very selfish and most likely all he cares about is getting off in you instead of actually wanting to have true love making with you and Sadly, this is happening very frequently for those again that want companionship connection and sex without any real intentionality There's a good chance if they are selfish in the bedroom All they care about is their own needs and they might be using you number six He often says I don't want to talk about it Especially problems that are going on in your life. You might have something going on with your children You might have something going on with elderly parents. You might have something going on work And he goes, I don't want to talk about that's too serious Anyone who doesn't want to actively get involved in your life There's a good sign that they only care about themselves and they're using you in this relationship Instead of actually being a true partner who wants to actually contribute to your life Folks, I'm here to say What's the point of dating if there isn't really an end goal What's the point of spending time to get to know someone if you don't have a desire to actually see it go the distance? I am a big proponent now more so than ever to be fully Intentional in the process and this is why I advocate in my private coaching Something I call radical honesty pre-qualifying your prospect by the way, right there There's a link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coaches right for you What I mean to say is I teach you the deeper questions to ask someone to determine if they're emotionally mature enough To be in relationship and if they have the relationship skills to be in a relationship If you haven't seen my chart on emotional maturity and relationship skills This is not a fact a merely an opinion I believe roughly 20 of the population has clinical issues And while I say 20 of the population are healthy most everybody is dysfunctional So you have an 80 chance of dating someone who's incapable or doesn't have the skills to be in a relationship And that's why again, I highly recommend scheduling a call with me Because my area of expertise is to help you vet for those men who are capable of going the distance Because most guys are actually winging it. They're winging it. They're winging it All right, number seven He treats you as a secret because of public Public reasons, you know, he says I'm a private person. I don't want to talk about you publicly I think most of you have seen that I publicly share about my my current relationship because I'm I'm happy. I'm enjoying. I'm not trying to keep it a secret I don't know why so many of my contemporaries want to keep their relationship secret You should be boasting about it. You should be sharing from these experiences in my opinion By the way, I'm in the public eye, but certainly someone who's private and they want to keep you a secret Is there a level of shame? Do they feel a level are they ashamed of you? What's going on there? Why does someone have to be private? I know some people say well, I'm a public figure I have to keep my life private You know what? Listen, I don't keep my life private because I'd like to think from my experiences. I can share with you The good the bad the ugly the warts and all I'm not saying it's right. Some people think it's tmi I've had messages coming Jonathan. That was tmi. I get it, but I'm okay with that But when someone's trying to keep you a secret, that's not a good sign that they want a long-term relationship with you Okay, number eight number oh wait eight He only sees you at his beck and call. He only sees you on and his terms He's not actually cares about your schedule. He only wants to see you at his schedule That is a good sign that he's using you not you all know that By the way, a real healthy relationship is a taking turns kind of experiences And I'm a big proponent where women actually ask men out on dates and and treat on those dates It should be a two-lane street. This is why if you haven't read the book Which I highly recommend because it throws out the gender rhetoric is the if the buddha dated if the buddha dated This is a great book to throw out all the bullshit gender rhetoric And actually start connecting with someone on a heart center level because ultimately It's not about how taller he is or how much money as in the bank Is does this person have the heart to lean into a deeper fully committed relationship? And I highly recommend reading this book and number nine number nine And I shot a video this morning a short the sneaky way men use women and I shared this But this seems to be the most predominant reason why people are dating today Is they actually treat you as their therapist? They treat you as their therapist and what I mean to say is I've spoken to so many women who have engaged in long-distance relationships or telephone relationships where the predominant conversation Is vomiting the the pain people are experiencing so they can have someone at the other end Just literally validate in many cases all their bad choices or validate their victim consciousness And it's a way to keep one small They're actually using the dating process has actually now practically repaid placed Well, not that people went to therapy, but dating has become A telephonic therapy session for so many people. It's no wonder. It's a fucking shit show out there Out in the dating realm because there's a lack of intentionality and when there's a lack of intentionality and a lack of consciousness It's no wonder it's a mess out there So ladies, what are you going to do about this? Let me talk about that for a moment I'm here to suggest that before you actually physically have sex with a man You should be purchasing two copies of this book eight dates by doctors john and julie gotman and read chapter one Chapter one is all about commitments look it Right there chapter one Lean on me trust and commitment The two of you should be talking about that before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina And if we're not going to marry and as much as well If the marriage isn't on the table Then just remember before the penis goes inside the vagina You may want to consider a different vow instead of a marriage value. It's called a dating vow And i'm going to read this to you because women are the gatekeepers of sex and man They're the gatekeepers of commitment and the dating vow is something I came up with it's in the description below And i'm going to read it to you It's an agreement that you each say to one another I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with an intent to declare something serious Within the next three to six months or agree to something serious within the next three to six months I agree to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together I agree not to actively seek to meet and date others while we're in the dating process including taking our dating profiles down I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back ghosting or disappearing And lastly I'd agree to invest regular time together in the process of getting to know you which looks like this Social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills Both in our personal and our professional lives intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy leading to either moving in together or getting married that Is describing what you want a relationship before you and by the way doing this before sex weeds out 90% of the men that are dysfunctional Now while there's some might slip through the cracks most people are going to say I don't want to agree to that Because they're not intentional. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. Do you agree with me? Please let me know write a comment below All right, that's my two cents on the nine signs or things that men say or do To suggest that they're being used. I hope this provided value for you We're going to go deeper now. I'm going to explore the questions you have of me So in this live stream unless if you're listening to the recording, you won't be able to see the chat box But there's a little chat box in the corner right there And then that chat box is a little dollar sign Or a little spot where you can post a question If you have a question for me write the word question then post the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat Or a super thanks in the little dollar sign All of the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley that's him there and that's him there. That's my son who passed away four years ago last week And in his honor I started a scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development like the hoffman process and insight seminars for those Because I think these are two worthy organizations I believe they are non-profit organizations to help with your negative patterns and limiting beliefs in your life so check out Check out if you if you have a question for me purchase the super sticker super chat All right, let's jump in to see what we've got here today Oh And my coffee mug says just keep swimming just keep swimming all right Question how do I know if I'm being love-bombed okay Examples of love-bombing right off the bat. I mean you barely know a person Oh my god, you're the most amazing person in my life. I can see you in my life for the rest of my life We should get married and we should go on vacations together. That's an example of love-bombing someone that's coming on strong Now it's not to suggest two people might not have strong connection But even when I had a strong connection with my partner I didn't overdo it love-bombing is the overdoing it when it's usually driven by lust or limerence Lust or limerence lust is I want to fuck your brains out limerence is extreme infatuation Putting somewhat on a pedestal And while in my relationship, we have a strong connection with one another We didn't overdo it when it feels overwhelming and you don't feel it Like you're not ready to reciprocate it. That's a good sign that you're being love-bomb So great question there darlin. I really appreciate that All right Brenda writes Would no pda in public also be a sign they're using you? You know, that's a tough one because um, here wait, what's going on with my hair? That's a tough one because You know, some people don't like pda. I love pda. I'm a big I mean, it's not about pda. I just I'm a I'm a A physical touch person. So I like to touch my partner frequently Some people they're not a physical touch person if you're not familiar with the five love languages Everyone here's a copy of the book the five love languages The five love languages are words of affirmation or if you're with a leo it's words of adoration physical touch quality time Access servicing gifts and for those people that physical touch isn't their top love language Maybe it's on the bottom They're probably less likely to do pda or they have some level of shame in their life That makes it difficult for them to lean into pda. So that might be a reason. I don't think it's a sign you're being used but You know, you may want to talk to him about it And see how he feels about it. Just simply ask, you know Is there any reason why you may not like public displays of affection? And if so, where did that come from? Where did that come from? So that's a great question, Brenda. Thank you so much All right. Medea says How do I get my power back after giving into sex with a guy? I like is it even possible? Absolutely now Giving your power away is mostly in this regard This is one of the top ways women give their power away. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I feel good about myself when you feel good about yourself And you don't need validation or someone else loving you You're retaining your power When you go overboard trying to please someone when you're trying to make this person like you you're giving your power away When you're accommodating their needs and they're not accommodating your needs They're you're giving your power away. So yes, you can always get your power back Doesn't mean that he will want to be in relationship with you Especially if you gave your power away Because it's not just about sex. It's about your dignity self love is self reliant self esteem self care self confidence It's maintaining your sovereignty your dignity that Is maintaining your power if you're not familiar with the book or where the fuck is it? Read this book why men love bitches and bitches stands for babe in total control of yourself. Yes This is a fantastic book everyone in the description below Check out this book because this is a great book for maintaining your power in relationship Even after you've had sex with a guy. So I love that question. Medina. Thank you so much All right, why do some men openly communicate? They're only out for sex and other play games Because let's face it This is a terrible analogy But men don't have to buy the cow anymore because the milk is free The reality is is these devices have replaced prostitutes men don't have to go to prostitutes anymore They can just go. What is it? Do I still even I still have the dating app here? They can go to bumble and swipe a little bit And there's usually someone that'll by the way you can see by the way for the record You've enabled snooze mode. In other words, I'm not active on the site On any of my sites because I'm in a relationship, but nowadays it's so easy to get sex. It's a hook-up culture out there So So wait, what was the question again? I always get sidetracked So why do they openly communicate it because it's easy to get But look son Marriage I talked about this in the beginning But marriage was an agreement between two people that we want to build a life with each other Which also included having regular sex with a partner And it used to be most even my my mom had one. That's my mom and dad But my mom had only one sexual partner in her life And I'm not sure that my father had more than one he might add one or two. I don't really know But these days The average person has somewhere between eight and 30 sexual partners. That's the average person So or is that the median? You know, so the reality is is sex has actually become something of a easy commodity Without any little effort to obtain a man could literally do what's called relationship talk talk Oh, I want a relationship. Do you want a relationship? I want a relationship. Do you want a relationship? I want a relationship. Oh, let's have sex to see if we're compatible with one another That's about how easy it is to obtain Um And yet sex maybe should be coveted for those who at least want to be in a fully committed relationship So why do men do this? Because I hate to say it women allowed it Now I that sounds like I'm blaming women and I don't like that analogy But here's the way I would solve the problem For the next 90 days every woman wears a chassis belt And we'll see how men shape up a little bit and see if that changes everything or at least every single woman does that All right, that's just my two cents. It's a little bit off topic, but I hope I I answered your question there So thank you so much. Uh dreamy mind All right, let's keep going just keep swimming Is anyone oh, thank you miss coal for the 99 cent super sticker that was sweet of you Everyone if you again support the conor asley scholarship fund by donating to it through a super sticker super chat all right Let's just oh Mona, thank you so much for the three dollars super. Oh you guys are so sweet. Thank you so much Um, oh my god, there's another one. I didn't see any of these. Thank you so much barbara for the two dollars super sticker Thank you so much. Oh, you guys are sweet. Thank you All right Question how long do you wait to ensure a relationship is stable and reliable? I don't think it's a matter of time or weight. It's a matter of trust Have you built the deep roots of trust together? How do you build trust? Social activities hobbies mutual interests spending time with family and friends Traveling together teamwork building skills both in your personal professional life Intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy by being vulnerable with one another by laying your cards on the table And by being radically honest with each other that builds trust as many of you know Um in my relationship on our third on our first real visit together We spent three days 10 hours a day Literally laying the cards on the table Laying the cards on the table. We talked about our past relationships. We talked about our hurts. We talked about our pains We even shared some deeply secret stuff in our life because we had built trust Through being vulnerable with one another we asked the deeper questions on our first phone call I went through my 15 radically honest questions. That's something I teach in my private coaching It's because it's based on my personality And she checked off one two three, but she checked off 14 and one of them Was just a little off, but we had conversations about it and that built deeper trust So how do you make this happen through radical honesty by laying your cards on the table? That's When you build trust and that's when you know you're possibly ready for a significant relationship with this person So great question there. Uh, thank you so much By the way, I want to thank alexandra taylor for the five dollar super sticker. I really appreciate it All right, let's see Gloria e says How long is too long being on a dating site such as match? I've been on two months now most of the men I spoke to have been on for years. I don't want to be on there for years Gloria I was on match.com for five years after my significant relationship ended And now I'm in the most amazing relationship in my life I've never experienced this kind of relationship before and we met on match.com a year ago So it was four years before I initially met her and that took us practically another year to actually meet So why am I sharing this with you? If if you think you can magically find the most perfect person in two months You're living in la la land Sometimes it could take years Listen You know, I've been at this my divorce was 2005 so it's been 17 years and in that time I've had a few relationships But now I feel like I've met my true life partner You know, I am grateful for those 17 years of experiences my only wait. She sent me a meme I I got to share this with you because she sent me a meme Uh that I think you might get a kick out of um The meme says The meme says I don't know if you can see it a beautiful feeling is when someone says I wish I knew you earlier just so I could have loved you longer It's kind of interesting because that's what my girlfriend. I say to each other We wish me we met earlier, but you know what we met when we met That's the sole connection we have with each other if you're not familiar with the book spiritual partnership by gary zucoff I highly recommend reading this because it's a journey to your authentic power and to know that from a spiritual perspective There is no timeline on when you're going to meet a partner So if you're going to give up in two months, you might have given up one day One day early And you could have met your partner Just be on until it happens By the way, 50 of all new relationships are happening through an online connection So I wouldn't bypass one of the most powerful mediums to meet people Um through the dating site. So that's my two cents on that gloria. Thank you so much All right All right question from corny cob Question, do you know do you have any advice for navigating political differences in relationship? What did they used to do you'd grab two guns and shoot each other? No, I'm just kidding. Um a dual You know I think some people will say politics doesn't matter in relationship. I think it does Let me give you an example. I highly doubt Someone who loves donald trump and would die on the sword for donald trump is really going to get Really get along with someone who would die on the sword of bernie sanders Or the extreme left. I think that could be a recipe for disaster because that's two different Ideologies, which represents different values So not to suggest that you have to like each party, but I'd certainly believe the more extreme your ideologies and your values the much harder it is to actually Develop those deep roots of trust with someone if you share different values So politics is a reflection of our values And while it's not an absolute It certainly is something to be mindful of Because it could be problematic in relationships. So corny cop great question. Thank you so much All right, mona says if I'm in limerence mode, is there something behind that about me or have I been seduced? That's a good question Well, I think it could be a combination of both, you know, I mean, I think there's a level of You know, here's the thing I think I come back to my exist my current relation. Well, not my current relationship I truly believe I've left. I met my life partner. I really do believe that I think we both liked each other equally And we both invested in each other equally. It wasn't a lopsided thing Now not to suggest that there haven't been relationships where men have pursued women for a long time and the woman Actually did for lack of utter word acquiesce to it um, and it's not real acquiescence, but I'm a believer that it a real healthy relationship should feel like you're traveling on a two lane street together It should feel a level of ease with one another Um, I want to share do I have this meme? I want to see if I have it um So the best feeling in the world is being with someone who wants you as much as you want them Here's a meme, okay I feel like it should be a two lane street. It shouldn't be lopsided So if if you're feeling lopsided attraction for someone, which is oftentimes what happens with limerence Now two people could be experiencing limerence at the same time Listen, there's a big difference between putting someone up on a pedestal and feeling strong connection with someone Because the strong connection feels like it's a grounded space not a space of anxiety limerence usually comes with it with a sense of anxiety and strong connection is usually one of Just feeling calm Feeling a level of calm with the person So I hope that answers your question. But yes, it could be a combination of both in my opinion. So great question Thank you so much Let's see. Let's go swim in. Let's go swim in Wait k a says To me a lot of the men on the dating apps are there for hookups and a lot of women will allow it It's exactly true By the way, I'm a horny motherfucker. Of course I'm I mean sex is on my mind all the time when I was single or even in relationship I mean some men are driven biologically to want to spread our seed So it's just by the way ladies, what do men think about on a first date? They think about sex It's just you guys know this about us So it's natural that if we can get it for free through the dating apps There's probably a lack of intentionality. So you are the gatekeepers of sex Men of the gas you're the brakes So rather than beat men up for being that way, let's just appreciate it because I think you'd rather have a Highly sexual guide than a guide who doesn't want sex or at least that's just my opinion. Anyway, that's my two cents on it So thank you so much stories from the lion's mane. I really appreciate that Wait a minute. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm now reading a new one. So All right Question a man I was dating said he needed space to work on himself two months ago Now he's reached out What to ask before deciding to start dating again Hey, listen, check out check out a discovery call with me because that's my area of expertise But I would ask this simple question If you want to date me again, then let's read two Let's get two copies of this book and before we have sex. Let's talk about what's in this book That's a great question to ask. By the way, I have women writing me continually thanking me for this suggestion But if you want to learn the deeper questions based on your personality schedule a call with me all right Oh, let's go. Oh mona lee. Thank you for the three dollar super sticker. I really appreciate it all right Cheryl in Question his words were matching his actions. However asking me out for brunch He got A hold of me at 1 p.m. And said he lost his phone. Is this a red flag or do I give him another chance? You know, I have a dear friend She had a first date with a guy and she got stood up at the restaurant and as she was leaving the restaurant the the Hostess tracks her down and says are you so-and-so? And she goes yes, that's me and she was leaving the restaurant because she got stood up She goes I got a call from the sister of the person you were supposed to have a date with tonight And he got in a bad car accident And he contacted his sister to let you know that this had happened So there's always going to be legitimate reasons why something might come up I'd certainly um What's it fool me? Well, listen Listen, if it happens repeatedly, that's probably a bad sign that happened once I'd like to give someone the benefit of the doubt. So that's just my two cents on that anyway, um By the way, the guy was pretty the man who had the accident He was pretty messed up and he was out of commission for a while and they never did it get a chance to meet together so anyway Uh Ms. Cole says question just kidding just an announcement over the last several months I've been following your teachings. Thank you. I'm a proud owner of untethered soul Several copies of eight dates and attached. Do I have my untethered soul book here? No, I don't have it By the way, folks everyone hold on one second I have to pull off this book because this is a game changer. This is a book that will absolutely change your life This is my bible now The book is called the untethered soul by michael singer. Now. Let me give you some advice about this book Never only read one chapter at any sitting This isn't a book to be made like a novel. This is one chapter at a time Sometimes maybe only two pages at a time. It's like reading a book Swimming in spaghetti covered in molasses at the bottom of the ocean. It's that deep And yet this is a game changer of a book This will absolutely change your life. It helps you rewire your mindset From a more spiritual conscious perspective instead of the unconscious way people are operating from victim consciousness In most cases. So I highly recommend reading this book You know what? We're going to be wrapping up soon if you have a personal question of me If you have anything personal you want to ask jonathan asley write the word personal question and post it below I'll give you any insight I can about my personal life if you're interested in that Usually many of you do want to know my personal life and i'm more than happy to share things. So all right Let's see what we've got here. Oh god. We have a spammer. Sorry about that Okay, sorry about that folks. We have a spammer so Anyway, let's see what we've got here Miss gull says how often you change your photos you're talking about those photos right there I purchase uh, I purchased my photos from mixed tiles mixed tiles right here um, I have probably close to um, probably close to a hundred of these um God that means I've spent almost they're 10 bucks a piece. So I probably have no, I don't have a hundred I have about 50 of them. So I probably spent $500. I change these on every video Uh, I just ordered about a dozen just recently because I found some new pictures of connor So i'm really happy about that. So anyways, that's the answer to your question. Thank you so much Ah Let's see what we've got here um So, oh here's a personal question from kathy What is the age difference between you and your girlfriend? I will tell you that it's almost exactly One year and I will not tell you who is the older one It's exactly a one age uh one year age difference Uh, many of you know that I'm in a significant relationship right now with someone I am madly and deeply in love with here's a picture of her and I together when we're at Mastro's restaurant in beverly hills. I know it's not that clear, but that's my sweetheart So thank you for asking that question. I appreciate that All right. What else do we have here? Oh nv says quite personal question Would you get married again? Apsa fucking Lutli. I'd get married again. I I I and we've talked about how we feel about marriage. So, um, I didn't feel that way in the beginning after my divorce But now I'm at a point my life folks Like, you know, like I want to build a life with someone. I really want to build a life with someone I think it's important to you know, as listen, I'm in the third chapter of a five chapter book At least that's the way I look at it So I I want to spend the last two chapters with someone very special in my life So I'd absolutely get married and we you know the one of things because of the distance it's really helped accelerate this process of getting to know each other because Thankfully, listen, I only think this is working because she is retired. So she has a flexible lifestyle I have a relatively flexible lifestyle I I can work from anywhere and because of this we've accelerated the process of getting to know one another And we've talked about the very serious things. We talked about the things that are in the book a dates We talked about our financial status. We've talked about our dreams our hopes our desires We talked about our pains We talked about the fears that come up and we talked about How to build a successful relationship together. We're putting the building blocks where we're putting the puzzle together Of how to build a life with one another We're incredibly intentional about this and I suspect in a very short period of time that she'll be living here And we will build a life together so Because you guys know I'm not a big proponent of long distance relationship I'm a physical touch guy. I can't go very long when I care about someone that I want to touch I want to feel I want to be connected. I want to do shit together. I don't want to have a telephone relationship In fact, when we're on the telephone, I hate it because in those moments. I'm missing her. I don't feel connected I feel disconnected when we're on the telephone I feel not that I don't appreciate it But it it doesn't satisfy me because I want her here in the moment So to answer your question apps a fucking Lutley. I'd get remarried. So thank you so much Let's see Kathy says beautiful picture and great restaurant. Thank you so much. Actually. I wasn't happy with the restaurant this time But we did go. I well anyway If you have any more personal questions write the word question personal question then post the question thereafter um Looks like let's see what we've got here Courtney Cobb says his girlfriend is older. Don't tell her I said that We know Jonathan. Thank you so much Uh Someone here says yes a lot of guys follow mig tau mig tau sends stands for men going their own way And what it is is men who felt very hurt and wounded by women Because there's this belief that women are rather entitled which on some level is quite true I think about 30 percent of women act incredibly entitled Maybe 25 percent. I also believe another 25 percent are so deeply wounded women that they act like doormats And I'd say the 50 left is somewhere in between There's very few truly Emotionally healthy people the reality is is most people are suffering in some way of Of not feeling good enough not feeling loved and not feeling likable So the mig tau group are the men who have experienced women who act very entitled And they're like i'm fed up with this bullshit Listen If that makes them feel good Leave it up to them. I believe in soul partnerships I believe in connecting with your soul mate And doing everything possible to make that happen. That's why I you know everything My relationship now is an experience of all that I teach in my private coaching In my private coaching so And I believe that what I teach brings success in your life, whether it's a man or a woman So if you want to actually attract in that great partner in your life, give me a call. Let's see if I can help you out all right Let's see Oh, I want to thank michelle for the 20 dollar super sticker to the conor asley scholarship fund. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it all right Karina says how did you two come together after meeting online? I think you said a year had passed so We had met online a year ago, but it was a long distance situation But we kept in touch with each other And well, and we actually just developed a bit of a friendship um More so than something romantic. So when we had our first meeting It was more like two friends meeting and I had no idea that we were going to have such a strong connection with one another I mean, we literally that first night. I mean at the restaurant. I think six or seven hours went by we were just We were literally just it was like it was like a beautiful game of ping pong with one another And then when I invited her to the wedding uh two days later because I was there for a wedding I mean we really I mean I was so proud to bring her to the wedding and she showed up in this Fantastic outfit. I just want to share with you all this photograph because this is what she looked like at the wedding Um, she wore this gorgeous red dress. I mean she was stunning I was just like wow and we just had such a great time dancing and connecting with people It was like we'd already known each other for such a long time that it felt comfortable So then when she came out to visit me two weeks later I mean we already established such a strong connection Because we've been radically honest with each other our first telephone call was me going through the 15 or 16 most important questions to determine compatibility And and we did it to each other and we found that we're incredibly compatible with one another But I wasn't interested in a long distance relationship and I told her that up front I was I wasn't going to explore this unless we could take the distance and bring it close together And she'd already thought about moving out here because she has two children that live here So that's why these conversations right now that we're having makes sense Because she has a she has a reason to be here, but to answer your question Um, yeah, that's how it came about so and it was match.com where we met so Um India says question do you have this whole session summarized into highlight points? You're so often are awesome. I completely resonate with today's session. No, my coaching program is very intense very detailed It is a lot of structured. Um, it's not bullet points because here's the thing if you listen You can read a cliff note version of a book or you can immerse yourself in a book To really learn the depth of something if you want the chicken shit way of doing it That's not I'm not that coach I'm here to make you go deeper than you ever went before because I really want to change your life for the long term So thank you so much Elena says she's gorgeous. Thank you so much. Brenda says she's really beautiful. I'm very blessed. She's stunning But we both have our shit together too. So anyway Question i'm spending a lot of time with a man from my church one on one eating out working together How long are we just friends and when do we know if it's more? You guys are really cute. Thank you so much Ask each other out on a romantic date and see what happens Stop playing in the kiddie pool go out on a romantic date all right Brenda says how are you getting along with her kids now? I haven't met her children yet Two of them live in chicago two of them are here She's met my son. She's met my sister It's just been a logistic because one of her children is moving to south america for a brief period of time The one that lives here and the other one Most likely i'll meet her during her neck. She's coming out here in a week and i'll most likely meet her daughter Sometime in the next two weeks. So we'll see what happens when that happens But all her children know about me. So All right, you know what folks? I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. Um You know, I really appreciate this opportunity to share not just my personal life But my my thoughts my opinions my perceptions. I'm a bit of a contrarian So my advice goes contrary to public opinion and traditional expectations. I'd like to think I speak Just from the heart, but I will tell you this My coaching my ideas my thoughts. It's the world according to jonathan. It may not resonate with you all or it just might My hope is I change your life. I hope I make you see things a little bit different way My hope is that you invite love into your life I invite you to do a prayer and I'll share a prayer with you all Dear god universe spirit. I invite love into my life. I am open and receptive to love I am open to a relationship where we have a strong connection with one another and we have amazing connection and attraction for one another And I invite in that partnership where we can communicate with each other from a heart centered space Where we can laugh and play together all the time because laugh and play a play play laughter and playfulness Is the is the quintessential essence of a true partnership? And I hope we can blend my my invitation is that we can blend lives together with one another and that we Share the same values and we can build the deep roots of trust That allow us to be fully committed with to each other god universe spirit. I invite that into my life Ah amen All right, I invite you all to share that prayer for yourself to invite in loving your life because you You may remember the phrase be careful what you wish for while my invitation is asked and it is given All right, everyone. I want to thank you so much for allowing me into your life today I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jotham barack of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank jennifer and kathy and nv and j m n col and gloria and corny cob and brenda and susan and janet and rica and kimberley and stories from the lion's mane and simple sweet soul and uh alayna urlina robin barbara indu Authentic me robin everyone. Thank you so much. Thank you for all the love wishing you a fabulous evening. Bye now