 Why, how come, what's up with these ladders? What are these ladders? I don't, I've never understood a lot of them. Are they trying to climb up? Are they just like, how do you get the little segments on the edge of a film to like detach and then go diagonal? I don't like it. They fucked it up. They messed using my sense of order in the world, the whole thing. What you're talking about with film, those are ladders. Ladders in film is about cinematic achievements coming up and up and up seed because they, Lord of the Rings was just a step in stone. New Line made way better films after this, right? Oh yeah, totally. That's how I remembered latitude and longitude. Latitude is like a ladder in like the step, like the horizontal ladder. Yeah, they traditionally go up and down. You go up and down. That is genius. I'll take out, drink, I talk about how you hate this scene. Wait, no, we have to get to it. It's already the scene, can you hear Gandalf talking? This scene here is beautiful, because it's a mountain, I like it. Yeah, but you can hear the previously on with Gandalf saying, We're going to go deep guys. We're going to go deep into the mountain. The helicopter is going to blow up. Okay. He said the line. He did. He did it. He said the thing. Gandalf. We need to answer the age old question. Is it cool for Gandalf to do what he's about to do? Or is it? Yes, it's cool, but it doesn't feel quite in step with the rest of the movie. And I'll tell you for why. Power your fools. So in the books, it's kind of, it's left up to the audience, or it's left ambiguous whether he's alive or dead until he makes his return. Whereas in this, it's kind of clear when you watch the scene that he survived. Because you see him fall, you see him battle the ballrog. We know he's not going to have died in the middle of that. He's going to come back now. And I would rather have kept this ambiguous. I would rather have kept it a bit of a surprise for the audience. But for later on. Have you considered that it's awesome that Gandalf won the fucking big seven? Yes, I will say this sequence here is a fantastic Marvel movie. Wow, what the fuck? This is metal as fuck. I don't think I appreciate that at all. This is very cool. It's just, I don't want to see metal with Lord of the Rings quite so much. What? I do. Yeah, metal has needed itself with Lord of the Rings. How familiar are you with metal? How much fantasy is in metal? No, this is... Have you heard of a band called Led Zeppelin? I feel like there's a pretty substantial overlap of things that are metal and get high fantasy. Yeah, fucking Christopher Lee was a part of so many bads because of the fact there's so much interesting fantasy that gets tied to it, right? Are you using that as an example of why fantasy is metal? Because Christopher Lee was in it. Christopher Lee had great interest in fantasy and metal. Isn't that a wonderful shot? No, Wizards fighting a phylog in a pit. Oh, sorry, that shot right there is quite cool. I do love that. The whole thing is fucking great. Oh, I'm glad there's some fucking knife in these films. What is it, Mr. Furrow? Nothing. Yeah, that's literally the only thing. Wouldn't you be miserable for 12 hours? Thank you for making my case. I just completely wastelined the awfulness, but like that's the awfulness. Thank you for making my case for sobriety drink. And I also... Welcome back to Lord of the Rings. I'm glad I joined. There's a little tucker in the cinema. I didn't know that Gandalf was coming back even with that scene. I was like, oh, that's what happened. Really? You didn't pick up on that from that scene. What do you mean? Well, he was two years old, okay? That is true, yeah. Can you see the bottom? Don't look down, Sam. Just keep going. Some of us were young. I don't know that... I was old, okay? And I'm even older now, and Gary can empathize with this. I'm just amused by the fact that it fell down a pit means he died, but fell down fighting a dragon means he lived. The movie chooses to show you that but leaves it unresolvers to what happened to him. I think you can assume something's gonna come out of it. I mean, tell me if they just take the can down the road. He's still... Tell us what you think in the comments section below. Fight, fight. Compare the way that hobbits descend to the earth to the way that a wizard descends the earth. Yeah, that's very interesting comparison. Let all of them... What are hobbits made for really good mountaineers or if it's just these two that have a proclivity for mountaineering? Andy Serkis was an expert rock climber before he'd even got into this, which was handy. Oh, man, roast chickens. Really? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah, apparently. Well, maybe not expert, but super familiar and it came... My God, is there anything that man can't do? He wasn't even supposed to be doing the physical stuff. He just impressed Peter Jackson so much when he was doing his audition. He was like, maybe you should do the physical stuff. And he was like... Well, hey, if you look at the way Gollum moves, like he's on all fours, he's like leaping around all over the place, like that has got to be physically demanding for an actor to do. And Andy Serkis would have been, I don't know, like what, about 40-ish when he did this? I can't remember, would he be mid-30s? No, and then he was older than that. He still does a phenomenal job. And you've got to combine that with the raw confidence to walk around in a mocap suit and take it totally seriously. Well, what's always so great about that is they have, they exude that raw confidence, but if you ask them, they're like, I don't know if it'll work, hopefully. I don't like it. That's the thing they didn't know hadn't really been done before. Well, they do it because they've got to give the best performance they can for the director and the editor. Real elveless rope. I know we kind of skipped over just that little bit there with the rope that it just magically detaches by itself and they kind of question, like, well, okay, we could have fallen at any moment. That's exactly from the books. It's elven rope and it's almost left to the audience to question, yeah, like, does it just do exactly what you want it to do? Wow. I think the best part of that scene, which is an extended scene, it's not in the theatrical version, is Frodo saying that the 11 herbs and spices from the Shire are special. It's very special, though. It is special. It's a little bit of home. Fun fact as well, those spices can be used to make salt and pepper chicken. And that elven rope came from the hair of an ice troll. And just because we're machine gunner now, fun facts right now, this is the only Lord of the Rings film in the trilogy that nobody puts on the ring. Oh my God. Oh my goodness gracious. Makes you think. Well, he almost puts it on in Oskilieth, doesn't he, when it doesn't? Because he's a lame loser. Yes, lovely. Lambous bread, more lambous bread. It doesn't look very nice, no. No, it looks like a fine... They're shortbread cookies. It's just everything is a fine cracker. It needs cracker legs. Like the Ought Department made them. It's a lot of fine cracker a while away. Well, I'll have you know, I'm quite the cracker connoisseur myself. Feel like it. Nothing ever dampens your spirits, does it, Sam? Those rain clouds, are we? This was the first time we got to see Gollum fully on screen. Because we got a little, little tiny glimpse of... In shadow and, yeah, bits and bobs. Yeah, and I feel like the Mocap technology hadn't quite matured by that point. They weren't quite ready for it. But with this, they nailed it. You can see throughout the trilogy, the sort of escalation and the number of visual effects shots and like how much work they're doing. There's like fellowship is a lot more contained. And then by the way, you know, return of the King, we got these massive spectacles. It was actually Gollum that inspired James Cameron to believe that it's time for Avatar. Well, look, right? I appreciate the technology of Avatar and not that. I mean, yeah, visually it looks great. I just, I wish he'd thought in to write a story. I think this, by the way, for a lot of people had no idea what he was, would have been like, what the fuck is this? Like, what is this? Why is there a zombie corpse chasing the marines? This is dream demon doing coming, please do it. Wasn't one of the scenes from Fellowship that he was in cut out? The only times I remember him from Fellowship is like, you see him getting tortured in Mordor, but it's just like his arms and legs get up in the air. You don't get to see his face or anything. The big major time you see him is shadowy in Morya. They make it in Morya. Yeah, yeah. You know how Gollum's wearing like a loincloth in this? Did they actually CGI anime is dick? They had to. Oh, thanks. That is important. Well, I can tell you that the one six scale version of Gollum does have a dick. I remember you announcing that. If you could put the ring on your penis, would you still disappear? Yes. Yeah. Any appendage really, isn't it? Release him or I'll cut you through. What if you swallow it? What if it's not like it's not wrapped around here? I think I think we agree it wouldn't if you swallow it, but not if you swallowed it, but if you put it on your fingers or your penis. What if you put it on your finger, bite the finger off, but swallow the finger, so it's still yours? You put it in your prison wall. What if you stuck it up your butt so that the ring was like the entrance and exit to your rear end on? So whenever someone fucks you, they go in. Well, you're really right. And then someone has anal sex with you. They are. I think what you'd have to do during that case is put it on your finger and then cut your finger off and then put that up your butt. Would your poop turn invisible as it passed through? Is his poop an entity? I don't know. You know the way to Mordor. You will lead us to the Black Gate. Going to a point now where Gollum is essentially part of the team. And when you combine what Gandalf's told Frodo before and then what Gollum is, makes a lot of sense that Frodo is quite sympathetic almost immediately. Also, Bilbo, the big old scarab little face. So begins the adventure of Frodo being like, we've got to be able to save Gollum so that we can save me. It's an interesting thing that this film has to do is it now has the task of creating and maintaining all of these new subplots. Whereas instead we had the fellowship together as a team in the first movie. Now what is Frodo, Sam and Gollum up to? What's Aragorn and Gimli and Legolas up to? Aragorn's objective now is to save Mary and Pippin. It's not necessarily about the wider scale of the battles that are going on or the world that is reshaping around them. It's we've got to save our friends. And I think there's something pretty admirable about that. Well, and of course, Gandalf sort of gets them on the road next to Rohan and it's like, so what would have happened had they caught up and saved Mary and Pippin, what would their quarry be at that point? Give him some medicine, boys. The special effects again, just on these fuckers. Like, yeah, I don't care, I'm not great. Their dental care is pretty bad. Or is it pretty good? They just couldn't go. Yeah, well, we don't know. Probably pretty good considering how they were made. Brush that teeth. The fact that all of that tape is still there. That's pretty impressive. That's not bad for a mockery of life. They have notably black blood when you kill these things. And so apparently when they were filming, you have to like take a whole mouthful of a licorice mouthwash thing to make sure all the inside of the mouth is black as well. See, that would be a really delicious and wonderful tasting fucking thing. So that's why I wouldn't drink Sambuca. It's like, what are the few things I won't consume? Because it's just what if you're particularly desperate, though? I mean, well, it's similar to the drinking stuff. Apparently there was something called Gollum juice that had the sickest drink is like honey, lemon and ginger. So that they, you know, it would be better for his throat doing that fucking for yeah, doing that voice. Oh, yeah, yeah. I just like the idea of my gollum juice, my flesh. I've seen YouTubers whose voices could be improved by regularly consuming gollum juice. That piece is quickened. Come on, Ghibli. Oh, Legolas, you're so spry and quick. Oh, Ghibli, you're not doing your best. I love this because you get these interludes whereas Ghibli is like, I'm fucked. I can't keep up. And then like you get the overhead shots where they're just running together again, like he always somehow manages to catch up. All three of them are injured while filming this. They all were three. Yeah. You got the stuntman for Ghibli's got a, I think a, I can't remember in total what everyone's injuries are. It's just that apparently Peter Jackson was like so thankful for all three of them for filming this shit while they were all healing. You could call it. And that's why they're all in wheelchairs now. Not highly to the leads of Lori and fall. He's got good eyes. He does have good eyes though. That's his great range. He's a ranger. With walls and natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances. He's like the character that can do like really good sprinting, but they don't have much stamina. So it's like a little like, oh, oh, oh, oh. When you put the three films together, is it two towers particularly does most of the work? I'd say for these three as a relationship. Yes, it feels like this is their movie. Yeah, a little bit like Time to Shine. I don't know what you're else I see. Here we go. Oh, yes. Say it. Yeah. Eyes and God, two eyes and God. Thank you, God. God, God, God. The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, two eyes and God. Sorry, man. This place is looking a little less, you know, welcoming. It used to be, I mean, yeah. Who now has the strength to stand against the armies of Eyes and God and more adored? Is this one of those moments where he's like, so I've got, I'm coming up to 5,000, nearly 10,000. Sauron's like, yeah, that's cool and everything. I've got about a hundred years, but, you know. Yeah, yeah, I've got like a million years. Keep going, champ. Do you have any, do you have any siege towers? And Sauron was like, I have a lot of siege towers there. 10k isn't hard as my Lord Sauron. We shall rule this middle earth. What is it called being of a miniature that's huge? A miniature. Isn't the miniature of the tower like it was 27 meters tall or some ridiculous fucking thing? I think it was 10 or 15 feet tall, so it's big. It's not as big as the real one would be. Really? A miniature. The old world will burn in the fires of industry. This is the essence of what Tolkien despised. Just the want and destruction of the natural environment. Oh, it's so perfectly captured. Everything is brushed under the wheels of factories and the small, the instumption, gray, the dirt, the smoke, and it's just all covered up. There's no more greens. They're all getting fucking out of my age. We will fight for you. No, not the inside. No, no, no, not the inside. It's just not going to heal well, man. It's going to take a while. I just imagined Sauron being like, you know, you could have just signed your name on a document. I don't do the whole blood thing, dude. That's weird, OK? Take back the lands they stole from you. Yeah, rape and a pill, Jag. I'm just going to assume that all these guys died. Probably. What was the fate of the wild men who took them out? I think they were still active until Return of the King in the books. They fought at the battle with the Pell in their fields, for sure. I think ultimately they made a truce or something with Gondor and Rohan. Yeah, when Mordor was defeated, they were like, hmm. We propose peace, gentlemen. Why can't you be on the horse, too? Yeah, it was a start running. I have to fight off the army myself. Why burn the house? You can live in it. It could be your house now. It's war rags. We're fucking them up. What a corpus these. It's like your average Scottish wedding there. Fight the King's son. Far as I'm aware, by the way, all the horses are polystyrene, all the dead ones, obviously. I thought you meant the ones they were riding about on. It's like, damn, that's just the power of special effects, my friend. What do you use when you want a horse? It's like, ah, we tape a bunch of cats together. The cats are alive. You're now a big intro to Rohan now. I think Rohan might be my favorite culture in this. Wow. I just like stuff. That, yeah. They're clearly like a melding of Vikings and nomadic horsemen and stuff. And I just think it's such a cool-looking culture. I love the beautiful scenery that they exist in. I love the way that they go to war. I think they're really cool. It was ambushed by orcs. We don't defend our country. Saruman will take it by force. Gorgeous new area, lots of new ways to check it out. And even still, colors feel a little bit more drab for now before life is brought back to this countryside, at least somewhat. Saruman the White has ever been our friend and ally. What interesting thing from the books, actually, when you get to this point in the story, Rohan is not allied with Saruman, but they are not opposed to him. And they actually sell horses and stuff to him, like they provide him with military supplies. They also send horses in tribute to Mordor, too. Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind? You not see King Titan that the airmer is trying to gaslight you? Truly, if there's one person you can trust, it's warm tongue. Oh, yeah. I mean, just look at him. I mean, wouldn't you trust that man? How long has it since Saruman born, Joe? Brad Doreff had to shave his eyebrows many times when filming this to keep the air. Right. Sometimes it's something you don't notice until you get it pointed out. What was the promised price, Grima? When all the men are dead, you will take your share of the treasure. He didn't wax? No, I don't think so. That fool. Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her steps. You don't want to pull any out too far. Yeah, he does want to come back. Even his eyelashes, or does he even have eyelashes? I think he does. Maybe just a little bit. I just seem to have seen it, too, no. Yeah, he does. That'd be hardcore. I was going to say, if they took out his fucking eyelashes, damn. You are banished forthwith from the kingdom of Rohan. He's affecting a British accent for this when he's American. And apparently, by the time they hit the end of filming, Burt Hale thought he was British. So when he started speaking American, he's like, why are you making up a voice? Like, what are you doing? He was like, no. You have no authority. It comes when the king be signed at this morning. This is going to shock you more, but Americans can sometimes do British accents. I'm one of the advocates that that's the case. I thought Robert Downey Jr.'s British accent and Sherlock was pretty good. Discombobulate. Plenty of people can pull it off. It's just not as common. The meme is that British people are better at doing American than vice versa. But I imagine it's probably to do with media. Well, I think it makes sense that media for America is dominant. It's brighter exposure to American films and shows. It's the reason why Australian accents seem to be very hard for people to do, because people don't really know what it sounds like. It's a funny thing that when you come to fantasy movies like this, the assumption is that the characters should have British accents or some things equivalent. But you couldn't imagine these guys having good old Southern boy accents. Like, they're from Alva. No, that'd be terrible. Look at this, what them Don Nelfi see over there? We're going to Mordor. I knew we'd seen them orcs over there. Salary, man. We're not having no fun. My precious. My precious. My precious. That's a well-known word right there. He's got it. Like, have you been taking rashes? They brush off the crumbs. He's been taking rashes for three stinking days, is what he's been having. Golem frames him as well with the lambous bread. Stupid fat orc. Focus to say there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall. Oh, that's water. And come alive. Oh, shit. That's different. The ants are referencing the books like right at the beginning. And it is like the dream of Pippin to see them. What about name? The fact they've got like different contacts. I enjoy the diversity of works in the Loan of the Rings series. Diversity is their strength, right? That is their strength. It wasn't strong enough, ultimately, they lost. I was going to say, they fucking lost. Diversity sucks. The prisoners go to Solomon, alive and unspoiled. No, they need an army of woman kings. An army of troll slayers. Ice trolls specifically. Just a little bit off the flank. Is meat back on the menu, boys? I think it is. Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys. What kind of wine goes with orc meat? What do you think? Is it like a red or a white or something light? With a free one? I don't know. I'm just going to say it wrong. It's having you on blanc or something. I mean, they have like black blood. I would assume it's red meat. So you'd probably want a red wine to go with that. Do you think that might be overpowering or do you think it needs balance? I think if you go for a Shiraz, it's probably going to be OK because they're relatively light. Is it Shiraz or Shiraz? You can say it either way. I always say Shiraz. What if you don't say it either way and you say it really dark? He also says ambiguous. The white man, they're killing all the diversity. Oh, no. I stepped on that camera. Red sun rises. She said a red sun rises. Pippin died this night. Wait, why is it fucking dead? I know this shade of red. Pippin is so dead. I know what rises. Daylight. You're Lego. Stacking me obvious. Who's that? I figured I would have seen him. They arranged that pretty well. Drinker, was that your orca impression? I was just, that was my vodka impression. Is that what vodka sounds like? Oh, yes. This might not have been a big idea, Aragorn. Are these guys even friendly? I don't know. You made us turn around on everything. Luckily, we've been practicing. Nobody made him turn around. They did that of their own. I suppose they could have just ignored him, yeah. This seems very excessive to put their spears in like this. It's like, OK, I think you've got them. I would cut off your head dwarf if it stood but a little higher from the ground. Don't be racist now. Dwarves are cool. You would die before your score fell. Calm down. This is just like a whole dick waving contest right here. I just want to know your name. But it's also very interesting that Legolas' immediate response is I'll kill you if you hurt Gimli. Yeah, because I don't think Gimli felt like he had stepped over the line or all. Yeah, maybe that's just a cultural difference. But then when Legolas did like to fuck it out, OK, whoa. Zeo didn't no longer recognize his friend. Not even his own king. What it is, it's just indicative, is how it works. They've been working together. Saruman killed all of our barbers. Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. He also, he did that, yes. Interesting that he's so perceptive that he understands exactly what's happened. He's a smart guy, OK. Maybe he watched the movies. Well, I think he's got all the info, right? Saruman's hand and Grimoire's tongue and... Well, I'm kind of... King being under some sort of enchantment. Yeah, you kind of have to surmise based on necessarily aware that Saruman is controlling Worm Tong, who's then controlling... I'll say this much. Yeah, he finds out. It's better that he doesn't know because there's a question of why the fuck would he be abandoning the king if he knows that he's being puppeted. Did you see two hobbits with him? We left none alive. Yeah, because the logical choice would be like, I should really just kill Worm Tong right now. Yeah, if you've got the armies of Rohan threatening them, they've been brought up as a question of just like, should they only be sort of riding off? Well, consider he is going around killing orcs everywhere. So if the people are protecting the king in Eteras and he's running around killing orcs outside, then they're both kind of helping to protect the kingdom in their own way. You'd think a primary objective would be to save the king if he knows. The real threat to the king isn't the orcs right now. It's Worm Tong. Look for your friends. But do not trust a hope. Maybe in his mind he's thinking that might start like a huge internal conflict. Well, they did try to give us, you know, he was essentially betrayed and taken away. But there's a lot of them. You'd think maybe that some effort would be made because he goes pretty far away to the point where he's almost not back in time, you know? I mean, they gave them horsies, so that's something. They did little horsies. They see that, they're like, pip it, no. Oh, one of the orcs has great taste. Yeah! So a little known fun fact. Little known fun fact. When everyone be quiet right now. When Vigo Mortensen kicked that helmet, he broke his face. And he had to wear a different one throughout the whole movie. I heard he broke his spine and could never walk again. He broke his soul bad. Oh, bit me here. It's definitely a part where Gamon and Legolas are just entertaining his sort of musings. He's got that Arkham City thing where, you know, he's had a detective mode. Eagle vision. I didn't know that he was in the Saturn. You've got to wonder if he's getting increasingly mad about having broken his toe. If you guys had looked a little bit more, I wouldn't have kicked that helmet. Sometimes when it comes to like feet and toes in particular, I hear that people will just break them sometimes and not even know. I figured that if you break your big toe, you will definitely not understand. He also famously did feel it, right? Stories of people who broke their toes and people don't even know. Well, less a known fun fact. Maybe you would have broken a tooth during the shoot and immediately wanted to continue because he wanted to use the pain to sort of invigorate him while filming. Because it was the Helms Deep Stuff. Apparently the producer was like, go to the dentist now. Did he not? It was like a chip on one of his front teeth. Did he not super glue it back in? That was something that he suggested, but I think it's a myth that he actually did it. Then the funny thing is that he went to the dentist in like the full gear with orc blood all over him and he said the reason he didn't want to get rid of it is for continuity. He wants it to be maintained. That might get me to go to the dentist if I can wear like a full suit of armor and have a sword and orc blood all over me. I just came out of this incredible battle protecting Rohan. Can you take a look at the teeth? The cavity in the back right there. Yeah, give that a look just in case. I don't know. Teeth are a big deal. The amount of fucking stories there are. It's being awesome. Fairly's back on set in a half hour after finishing with the dentist. That includes travel time. That didn't commit. Speaking of which, this orc is really committed to killing me, sir. He's really hungry. He really wants some hobbit legs. Well, his little brother orc brother ate all the food, too. I mean, I'd be a little pissed. Look, it's TreeBid. Tribbid. You're going to stab him from there? Yeah, why not? I don't think that's a winning strategy. Yeah, they need fire. They got to try. No. Let death come. I am no tree. Tree. Tree herder, but I hardly know her. By the way, there's no filters on TreeBid. It's just John Rhys Davies doing the lowest pitch he can. Really? I am on nobody's side. The best part is, apparently, it's through a wooden microphone. A wooden megaphone, sorry. That's really cool. I figured that it would have been some kind of effect to get that. Between words, there's this kind of booming echo that you get. I thought they'd have to be something digital, but apparently not. The wooden megaphone thing, I've never heard of that before. Never heard of a hobbit before. Jonathan and Rhys Davies. And then you see them in Indiana Jones 5 and just think, why did you do this movie? Why did you remind us? Hobbits! The white wizard will know. Wow, why does it have to be white? Even TreeBird. Uh-oh. Oh my god. Is that yay or is that nay? Yay! We need this guy. I like that. Nice hobbit. He stepped an oatmeal. He's led us into a swamp. I feel like you wouldn't notice that you would have wandered into this swamp. A gigantic 50 mile wide swamp. It's called Florida. He knew it the whole time, but he just got finally so fed up with it and frustrated that he just had to say, you led us into a swamp. You know the Frodo and Gollum turds looked at him like, yeah. Very absurd. And then of course Shrek pops out, get out of my swamp! He can't own a swamp this big. That's just not fair. He's landed gentry, believe it or not. Does he have tenants and stuff? Is he a landlord? He's got a big estate and his lovely swamp. Famished! Yes! Famished we are brothers! Gollum definitely needs some phogumism shampoo there. I feel like there's more you could do with her here. It's not fucking smooth. You know like it would take a million years to fucking render all this, especially back then. Well I mean it doesn't nowadays because it's like all kinds of higher fidelity and stuff. Apparently the way it would work right like a lot of the time is they would start the render, go to sleep in the morning, see what they've got. And it made all of his hairs stand on end. So we just... Oh god we've got to see that right? I need that picture. He does not care if we should die! They look so effing good. It do. It really do. Must it get us to knows? It's things like this and like like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean where we point to and say like how was CGI from 20 years ago like better somehow than what we have today? Once again supports that. Once again supports that whole thing of like oh my god the potential, the dreams, the reality, the technology. This is also great and then it's like if we could just tell ourselves from 20 years ago oh it doesn't get better. You're gonna actually get it used for like She-Hulk twerking. Not just that but the fact that it's like oh imagine how great it'll be in the future. It's like yeah we got Avatar. I don't remember it at all. No nobody does. It made like two billion dollars to say that but I remember it's like no you don't. There are dead things. Dead faces in the water. Yeah there's a little disconcerting. Dead faces in the water. This is the part I was so looking forward to. The dead marshes that like can't see this. It's great. It's such a great concept. Yes it is. Spirits of dead elves and men just from the battle of the last alliance. Dude and this had to come from his war obviously his World War I experience. Yeah. Isn't that a great line as well. Hope it's go down to join the dead ones and light candles of their own. Don't you open those eyes buddy. Don't you do it. It doesn't make you wonder what would have happened if they had gotten him. I suppose he drowns and then he becomes a part of it all right. You like the candle of his own. What happens to the ring I wonder. What if the ghosts want the ring a lot. They put it on and it's sour about it. It's like ah shit whoa what the fuck a spooky ghost. It would probably make it easier for Sauron to find. I imagine because the ghosts can't really hold on to it very well. Someone I love by the way they shoot that is the distances of the ghosts are really hard to make out quite deliberately. Evil is drawn to Sauron so I guess the ghosts look evil. They probably Sauron adjacent as I was saying they kind of like. Ghosts are probably evil. Ghosts have a bad rap but maybe there's a reason for that. Ghosts are all about that unfinished business aren't they? Dead people are assholes. I wonder what Frodo named the ring. Jonathan. He's like stroking it and he looks up a golem's stare at him like I know I'm weird but you're also weird just saying. What did you say? Master should be resting. Would you go back to sleep pal? Would you describe golem as a smart character? I think he pulls off some very smart maneuvers yeah. He's really old. He's lived this long. He's clever. Yes. Yeah he's not smart obviously and he's not smart from a strategic point of view but he he knows how to work people. There are a few opportunities where he really could have taken it but then he waited for better more opportune moments. Smeagol. Oh that look at his face what did you call me? God that was so good. I think they needed to nail more than anything Get them right. Get them working. Man. It has as much power to the film as Jar Jar does to Phantom Manus I would say. But let's not go crazy more. I was going to say maybe I'm praising it a bit too hard. Black Riders! Remember those guys Frodo? They fucked you up big time man. I was stabbed by their morgal blade. Have you ever been stabbed by a morgal blade Sam? Boy it is not fun. Not great. Look at that armor. Fucking cool. They're reveal. They fly now? They fly now. The Felbeast. Do you know how they made the sound? I'll give everyone one gas it's from an animal but which one? Honey badger. Those things are fucking mental. Cat. No. Um... A bat? No. A bear. No a donkey. He can fly! He can talk! He's a donkey! How is your black paint so blurry? Mark's blood. Imagine all of them looking as he just starts to couple again. Lick his fingers. Putting the leaves in his mouth. I do love that it's kind of the forest. It's so moody. Yeah, yeah. Winding, twisting sort of trees. It looks very unorganized. Wild. Yeah, it's a little pissed. This forest is old. The officer something's old. Pretty old. No. It always resorts to the axe. Pretty effective against trees. I know your axe. If all else fails, chop it down. Not so much against rings though. They have feelings, my friend. Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about? I wonder if he's sad about losing that axe. Man, I've had that for... He hasn't talked about it. I've had it in his journal. I still see it in my dreams. The white wizard approaches. Do not let him speak. Gimli walks into the forest. He's got his axes. He's got this red plaid shirt on. And a two in his big beard. That's his real calling in life is a lumberjack. Lumberjack, yeah. Lumberjack and Gimli. He would put a spell on us. I can hear you guys. Oh, no. Maybe you could give me that as a power up during a fight. But in the end of the blade. You were tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits. Why are you baiting us with the voices? I know. They passed this way. The day before yesterday. Is the idea behind that that he's like still forming sort of thing? He's been back for quite a while. I think he is literally just trolling them. They met someone they did not expect. You guys have a little fun. The boss is cheeky. Was it Ian McKellen doing an impression of Christopher Lee for that voice? I'm sure. I am Saruman. You're rather Saruman as he should have been. I can only ask because I'm sure... They blended them a bit, right? Through fire. And water. There was something in the commentary about this. I remember them talking about it. And it was like he... On the lowest dungeon to the highest peak of the town. Affected Christopher Lee's voice to some extent. But yeah, they probably digitally blended them or something. He could probably do it though. He's a very good actor. Who Ian McKellen? This was like his first role, wasn't it? I'd never heard of him before this. I think he played Magnet Toes or something. Magnet Toes? I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side. It's great in the book because it's like they literally fought all the way from the bottom right up to the top. The mountain. Doesn't he hold onto the Balrog's leg as he runs up the stairs for a while? Darkness took me. I strayed out of thought and time. I will say it's a bit counter-intuitive for a movie watcher to be like, wait, what? How are they... That means there's some pretty gnarly Balrog bones up there for anyone who wants to go down there. Oh god, that's got to be worth so much. I will say that was some slightly weird CGI there. The bit where it kind of like, you go into his eye and then it's just like, you're seeing the cosmos just like, rushing past you. It's awesome. Now he's all naked. At the turn of the tide. Probably like, well, that's it for me. I did pretty good. And it's like, you're back in. I just killed a Balrog. It took like six weeks to do. I've been sent back until my task is done. Gandalf. Oh, he's so happy. God, the racist overtones of this. The white is best. Gandalf the Grey. I am Gandalf the White. I heard Ian McKellen was kind of excited to play Gandalf the Grey in the barbet because he thought that Gandalf the White was too mean. Too mean. We must travel to Edoras with all speed. That is no short distance. The ants are going to wake up and find that they're strong. Oh, that's good. But he wasn't too mean. He was funny. He said very nice things to marry him. Comparatively mean, I guess. And then they ruined him in the hot movies. Hey, Gandalf the Grey said full of a toque throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity. You took food. That was a slightly rough show there. Yeah, that didn't look so great. The coming of Mary and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that start and have a lunch. It's always been funny. That's okay. It goes ill with the king. I wonder how long it took them to scout all of the locations that they decided to shoot in. Maybe not long because everything's gorgeous there. Maybe. You're still speaking riddles. You just assumed that over the next hill it would be great for a scene. You know what's so disheartening? Can you imagine if this was getting made? No, the whole thing would be done on a volume screen. Yeah. Shadow fags, the lord of all horses. Can't just go and film the planet. And it's free. It's not totally free. You had to guard that. But still... All this dirt and rocks are just laying around. You could just film them. Don't even ask for consent. You could just do it. Mary and Pippin get to a point of being like, we want to be on adventures. Don't just listen to tree stories. Is it much further? One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Oh yeah, it certainly has that vibe of just like, let me tell you another story about... I had an onion tied to my belt. I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Which was the style at the time. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt. Which was the style at the time. I told Gandalf I would keep you safe. And safe is where I'll keep you. They didn't have white onions because of the war. Because of the war. It's not that the story is so boring. It's just that they've been through a lot. Fellowship was tough. It's crazy because we're the both of the bad dup, right? Yeah. Mary fucking stabs the witch king. It's pretty crazy how involved they become in the battles going forward. But he is not so mighty yet that he is above fear. They're at the worst position out of everybody. They have the least assurances out of everybody that anything is going well at all. They're almost eaten and trampled by a horse. They don't know who's coming out if anyone's coming to get them. They've got to be hopeful that Frodo managed to escape. I feel like he called Saruman a puppet in the middle of a big conference. Not really, but... No, I chose this. Yeah, I'm pretty significant. I make my own choices. I enjoy my work. I'm kind of a big deal around here. And Sauron's like, shut the fuck up. And he's like, okay, well... Okay. Whatever you say, buddy. It's a pretty swift way of acknowledging that that's something that would definitely be on his mind but also moving us into a position of that's now happening, which means that we've got these new tasks that we need to set about doing. Yeah, just things we need to do. It's not just about the ring. There's a lot of plot lines happening here. Which is one of the things that really helps Middle Earth feel like a big place. Sure, we've got the Fellowship. You know, they've got their quest to destroy the ring, but while that's happening, there's a world where events are still taking place. The Orochi are sweeping across the lands, and there's still people that need helping. Man, such a striking visual, isn't it? Quite oppressive. Yeah, it looks pretty fucking cool. Really, the defining theme for the architecture is spiky and jagged and kind of a little bit rusty. You know when designing Halloween land and Night of the Fuck Christmas, apparently the note from Tim Burton was absolutely no right angles. Everything has to be wonky. Interesting. Your whole day is sleeping or getting poked to open a gate. You wonder what they eat. Maybe it's orcs. Yeah, I just need more orcs. They just poop on the little pathway there and kick it off. Well, where it folds, it folds. God, the poops must be massive though. Yeah, those guys are going to eat a lot per day. Ah, you idiot. Freakin' Samwise. He is the stupid fat hobbit. Golem is pretty on point sometimes. See, the way this is edited is a bit like those Easterlings would have seen this shit out of Frodo. They need a huge rock in front of them for this to make sense. Though I'll admit, like this, you won't expect it to be what we see, which is pretty cool in terms of ammo. Yeah, they have to cut away from it very quickly otherwise you'd see what they did. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's satisfying. Well, part of the problem is their plan is to run in here, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, that's cool to look at, but the satisfying part is when you see him uncover it, but obviously it's a, for filming purposes, a very different cloak. But like, they're magic, right? Those, uh, yeah, yeah. Yes. We actually think, like, if they just wrap the cloaks completely around them and waddled forward. Yeah. There's a couple of holders heading towards us or whatever. That's weird. A dark way. Why would you have the title like that? Well, the secretive way, there you go. New rule. If there's any secrets we should know, assume we would like to know. Yeah, just because you know them doesn't mean that we know them, all right? Like, the golem. I do love this as well. Golem is like, you fuck is insane. This was the plan. I thought I was the crazy one and I am. Yeah. Yeah, he's just like, you should fucking give it to him. The way that Golem is just sort of like stroking it off. Man, he's like, he must work out. I've always wanted to be in the presence of a thick bicep. Yep. He's led us this far, Sam. Mr Frodo, no. Yeah, Sam is just the voice of the audience, because we're always like, I don't know, man. Like, have you heard some of the stuff he says? He's crazy. He is actually bonkers. He's been true to his word. You can tell from the fact that Golem thinks that hairstyle works, okay? It doesn't work. He's dressed pretty well. Can you even imagine him with a different hairstyle? I don't even think you can. You know, if he tied it all up into one strand, he'd have the padawan thing that they have. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, this is one of the scenes that when it got cut, you're like, I guess I could see why. But it does kind of help with what those two get up to, ultimately. You're taller than what? Than me? This is another one of those scenes where I was like, I was sure this was just an invention from the movie. And it's like, no, this happens in the book too, almost exactly. Everyone knows. I'm the tall one. You're the short one. Does it just make him taller or is it making him taller and stronger? He just makes him taller. Which is still bigger, harder, faster, stronger. I feel the faster, baby. What? I'm pushing three seven. Three eights. This is such a like, what the fuck, bro? What the fuck is it? This is one of those magic forests. What if they just kept doing this? They were like 100 feet tall. They were just like six, seven, and they walked through the door at the end of Return of the King and Frodo's like, what the fuck? How come I had to destroy the ring? What the fuck? They just grab and break off Baradur and toss it into space. What's happening? I hooked up my leg. This is the trees being like, shut the fuck up, please. Wait, no one cares how short you are. You shut up. People are trying to sleep. You guys are insecure and you need to go to sleep. Yeah, this is for your own good. Away with you. They're dead. Shame, it's real shame. So adds the story of Barry and Pippin. Drink water. Gold. The trees have grown wild and dangerous. Anger festers in their hearts. An unlikely end, but it's a dangerous world for how it is. The roots come apart and you just see if they're bloody broken corpses in there. Oh my god. It's not like the kind of story we're in heaven. It's like how'd you die? Oh, by tree. Of their whole adventure when they tell the story, they probably leave this part out. The theatrical vision of the film is the story they tell. Not just because no one would believe it, but it's also a bit embarrassing. You can tell like with the way that they've integrated them, having a practical sort of that they're sitting on, like integrated them into the visual effects, to the face. Yeah, because yeah, he's all CG in the face, but practical in the branches. So there's obviously a line blending and then there's the background too. It's like this is not easy. No, but it's like when you see like the real thing and you can't quite tell when it transitions into the digital creation. It kind of makes it like easy to accept it as a, well, I mean, obviously with some amount of like technical craft and hard work, but it's just like the extra effort definitely helps. They still do re-screen projection and movie making these days at all, like a newer vision of it. Volume is technically a newer vision of it. Yeah, but now I'm wondering like if we're going to see less stuff using the volume because it's got such a bad reputation. It is crazy. The reputation was so high that it fucking plummeted in years. It's insanely expensive. We talked about this earlier, but like doing CGI is way more expensive than just putting people in makeup now, you know. Crazy. And it looks often worse. It looks way worse. Well, and you'd think as well that practical could only improve over time because the understanding of makeup and new materials should only improve over time, you'd assume that sometimes even practical stuff can be really disappointing. Sometimes it certainly can be. Look at the costumes. Everything looks aged in world. Hyper detailed. Perfect irony in that you said everything looks aged while showing fade in the old face. Ah, there you go. His fake old face. He's both in universe like aged up artificially, but also they've got that's some good old age makeup on and how old is he? Bernard Hill, right? When he was filming this, he would have been more late. He's in his 80s now. Damn, he's great in this. Because he's in Titanic as well, right? That's the main thing I remember from other than this. Captain, right? What did you say? Do not look for welcome here. He had his own private death scene while everything else was going on. The iceberg calls for aid. The Titanic shall answer. What a tragedy for the king to lose his only son and heir. Grimmie, you have to know how creepy you are, right? You are a creeper. Leave me alone, Snake! But you are alone. Dude, you'd look so much better if you just took a shower. So fair. Cold. Also, change your name. Well, I was actually going to ask, do the books give anything odd? Like, where did his name come from? Is that a name given to him or is that his reputation? Or is that an actual family name? Your words are poison. Wormtongue is like a nickname that people call him behind his back almost. He doesn't really answer to that. Well, because Grima's not a... But hey, he's trying. He's trying to make it work. Well, maybe he just led to it. He's the goth of Rohan. So, listen to the cure. They want me to be a Wormtongue, do they? I'll give them a Wormtongue. That was seriously a move. What am I doing wrong? You just can't make it work, that old Grima. That works on all the women. What lovely music. What lovely scenery. What a lovely flag. I hope nothing bad happened to it. I wonder if this would have taken a few shots to get it to fall in a particular way. Probably. Yeah. Well, maybe they got a first try. Maybe, like, God was like, I'll help you out with this one. You make it a pretty neat film. Give you a hand. You didn't have to spin him. Looks cooler that way. Yeah. Do the spin. Ergon, do the spin. Show him the spin. Ah, yeah. This walking stick. Had they parted him from his walking stick, well, this is a fucked up whole plan, or I guess he would have had to have taken it back off his fist. Maybe, or maybe he would have had to, uh... He's just relying on him not knowing that he fought the fucking Valorant. It's like, yeah, I really need this walking stick. Oh, man. Oh, jeez, you died in my leg. It hurts real bad. The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late. He's not welcome. He's such a slimy little fucking loser, like Grima Wormtongue. I kind of hate him. Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Oh, what a suck-ass. Late is the hour. Oh, seems so good. Be silent. Give your fork a tongue behind your teeth. I'm probably going to be silent. Such a great put, though. I have not passed so far in death to banding crooked words with a witless worm. They are fucked, this stuff. It was pretty straightforward. He's a wizard. There would have been a son of a thinger too long, upset in the shadows. And I think you get the impression this scene goes on that a lot of the people there actually just see what happens. Yeah, exactly. I would stay still if I were you. You see it when I'm holding him back like, no, don't intervene. Let's maybe let this play out. You have no power here. This Gandalf guy, he's pretty chill, right? He's a cool dude. I fucking love the way they have Saruman mixing in with this. Yep. Jesus Christ. I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from our wound. The music. Let's see where this is going. It's gonna be tight. It's gonna be lit, fam. If I go, failed and dies. No, he's just like talking to him, yeah. Yeah, this is definitely big beef between the wizards. You're not gonna kill me. You will not kill him. Sorry, just enjoying the film. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just really nice to watch that. You like how like as well instantly the colors are starting to get brighter? Mm-hmm. That's how it coming through is all like really washed out and muted. Now it's starting to get a little bit more vibrant. I know your face. The free and again, my friend. More warm. Yeah, it's really subtle actually. Yeah, I do like that. It's like, okay, we're back. Where are we? Someone's looking for an ass whooping. Well, the thing is, you can't help but imagine like all of what just happened is this guy's fault to a significant extent. What does everyone think about Aragorn forcing him to spare him? I mean, just, you know, mercy and he's defenseless here. Yeah. I mean, he does have valuable intel about Barohan that he probably shouldn't allow to fall into enemy hands. That is the criticism, but... Yeah. I mean, maybe just put him in prison or something until all this is over rather than kill him. Okay, they had a knife and kill him. Yeah. Get out of my way! Yeah, I think one would argue is just a lot of things are happening all at once and maybe they didn't think through how bad it would be to let him go. Every time it's like, man, you know, like, he knows a lot. Hail Theodon King! Is it Wim Tong that talks about the weakness of Helmsteep? Yeah. Where is my son? Man, it's only when he just got him into this film that he has like a big old weight on him for acting to do. Pulls it off. This actor, you know, did this. He did Titanic before he did this and then not really any other huge roles for him. He was in Valkyrie that, um... Was he in Valkyrie? Yeah, only the beginning though. Yeah, like two minutes. That's the thing, I struggled to remember what else he was in at all. Maybe after he did this, he was like, you know what, I'm good. My career is peaked. Shimbl Mooner. There's a lot of the actors from Lord of the Rings went on to all kinds of things, you know. But a lot of them were doing this after having done all kinds of things. It's a little bit different from Game of Thrones where they haven't managed to transition into bigger and better things afterwards. It's like they've all had their opportunity, you know, just like one or two feature films and pretty much they've all failed. Alas, that these evil days should be mine. Remember when Kit Harington said he didn't want to play any hyper-masculine roles like Jon Snow anymore until he couldn't get any more roles and now he wants to do Jon Snow. Oh, is that what we're calling Jon Snow in the last few seasons, hyper-masculine? She's McQueen. I don't want it. One of the first things that actually comes to my mind when I think about this movie. Yeah, this one, yeah. I love the battle of films, Deep. That's my favorite battle in the whole trilogy. You can pick, as far as I'm concerned, any of the films and for many reasons. Many different reasons as well because Aemon Han obviously is quite different from Helm's Deep in terms of like a sort of climactic battle. Which is very different from Pelinal Fields and is very different from Minas Tirith. Minas Tirith, very different from the Black Gate. It feels like a lot of movies learn really bad lessons from Lord of the Rings in terms of, yeah, we need to have all of our armies like meet in a big charge and then they just sort of fight each other in a field. Not realizing that there's a lot of dynamism to the battles in Lord of the Rings. What I'm learning is we say it sometimes as though it's a understood aspect that people would learn good things from good stuff, but I think it's much more typical that we have bad things learned from good things. Well, it's like they get like the surface level of oh, this is awesome. It's like it is awesome, but it's all of the underlying character work and world building that really elevates it. As well as like a lot of much smaller decisions in the midst of, you know, the battles. There's a lot of different elements of coordination, placement, strategy. Yeah, you never see like probably, the most you get normally is just lip service to strategy like, oh, you do this and then we win. It's like, well, um, no. This is about a taste of a terror that's sort of unmanly. When the Dark Knight, what the fuck it was called the Long Knight was being released, it was being compared to Helms Deep and it was like, how the fuck could you possibly compare? It's like, well, it's big. It's long. That was the hype, right? The hype leading up to it was like, well, now everyone hates it. So now it is only unfavorably compared to Helms Deep, which and if not referenced for the sake of saying like an army doing all of the worst possible decisions ever open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not. The fact that Thaiden just instantly, you know, jumps into action after having been like, he's been through a hell of a lot. He's had a lot to grapple with in a very short amount of time, but like he embraces it. When last I looked Thaiden, not Erdogan was king of Rohan. Jeez. Just so funny. Then what is the king's decision? I'm with Erdogan. It's just sort of the little I was king. My order of the king, the city must empty. We make for the refuge of Helms Deep. Helms Deep. Do not burden yourself with treasures. It is just kind of... Family members are relatives. Be like Harfits. Leave them all behind. Helms Deep is like the most stronghold battle sequence that everyone adores. Pretty cool as a reputation to have. Well, it's just something that is interesting when making this film, how could they have known that it would all come together at the end, especially with all of the brand new techniques and technologies that they're employing? You know what I mean? It must have been pretty nerve-wracking working on Gollum. Man, I hope we could actually get this. We could just add and make it work. You have to act the fuck out of this role. Okay, Andy? Because people might not buy it. We're working really hard. We're all lucky with Andy Serkis. Oh, he's so good. When you think about Star Wars, he's been two different characters in Star Wars, and one of them was also like WCGI. One of them was excellent. Yeah, but the other one was excellent. Look to my coming. At first light on the fifth day. It disappoints me that he's never been... I feel like it represents a kind of bias that is like, whoa, you're doing motion capture. You never get nominated for like an Academy Award for doing the motion capture role. It's like, oh, you're an animated, or you're a sci-fi movie. And similarly, he doesn't have as much, I think, popularity or awareness from a lot of people. Like, I think anyone who's big into film will know Andy Serkis, but a lot of people who watch film casually will be really aware of someone like Brad Pitt. Not so much with someone like Andy Serkis. It's kind of like part of the nature of the sacrifice of doing like voice acting or motion capture is that people identify with faces and you're very much doing a role where that's just way, way, way less likely to be the case. People have to identify with the voice or more often they'll just identify with the character. Yeah, exactly. And especially if you're really doing voices and really doing like roles that are so, so clearly not you, you're acting so much like people forget you as a person kind of. Yeah. Which is like both like a good and a terrible thing. Yeah, like it's that's his job, he's nailing it. It's a great thing for the art, but it's better in terms of a career. Because he was the cook in the King Kong movie as well, right, Andy Serkis? I think so, yeah. Turn this fellow free. He's seen enough of all. He's such a compassionate man cares about animals. Mary Sue, the horse likes her. And then you just have these scenes with Aowyn because you ain't getting those characters anymore. Yep. He's easy to humble me with his newfound piety. You seem a little insecure right now. Doesn't it? Yeah, a little bit a little bit here. Well, I was sorry. I was the white one. How come he gets to be the white one? You stink of horse. It's not fair at all. You stink of horse. Isn't that wide enough for whoever it is decides these things? The man. What's he from? Gondor. A strange ring. Extremely good eyesight to notice that. I mean, I can believe he's very observant. You know, Grima Wormtongue. When you're spitting on someone's hand, you do notice their rings. The lost king of Gondor is a fool. Sorry, I was like, this would never work. What a stupid and crazy plan. We better crush him to make sure it doesn't work. Like that. It's just cock energy. Call some Gandalf's like, what a stupid plan you have. It's never, ever, ever going to work. Where are you? This is not a defeat. We will return. Yeah, if it was more like firms, well, obviously more for himself than anybody else. Watch where you're swinging that thing. Those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain. Oh, do you? I fear both of those things considerably. In fact, those are my two biggest weaknesses is death and pain. Why do you fear, my lady? A cage to stay behind bars until use a cage to accept them. You're a daughter of kings. A shield maiden of Rohan. She really likes this guy. He's pretty awesome, pretty great. I like his red shirt. Guys, we got to move faster. I know it's a marathon, not a sprint, but still. Yeah, come on. They will flee to Helms deep the great fortress of Rohan. They will have women and children that look on his face. Yeah. What are we to interpret for that exactly? Is it the angle that the Sarabas are going to be screwed if we attack them now? They'll be slowed down. They have a lot. Use their goodness against them. You wouldn't want the interpretation to be the Sarabas really likes killing children. That's just number one. Hey, stinker, don't go getting too far ahead. What do you do that? Call them names. Run them down all the time. I don't know. It was definitely just look at him. It's an interesting conversation this. He's talking about himself. Every time he looks at Gollum, he's like, that's me. Potentially. This carries on. I'm going to end up like him. I have to believe he can come back. You can't save him, Mr. Farrell. What do you know about it? Yeah, Sam's not picking up the subtext there. Yeah. I don't need to be hearing this from you, Sam. Worthless, pathetic, we should kill him. Sam wouldn't make a great red editor. It's the ring. You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you. I can't ban you, but I can delete your posts. You have to fight it. I know what I have to do, Sam. The ring was entrusted to me. My time. My own. Cut to Gollum. He's like, you guys okay? Ring's all nice and snug in there. Mask brushes. Gotta imagine this scene particularly was intense to film for Mr. Circus. Mask brushes. Poorly. Mask. Tell the nature of the challenge of creating this character. There's a lot going on in the performance that you need to translate or create. Swing back and forth to start it and now cutting hard just makes it so much clarity. The difference in the size of the pupils. It's a very piercing sort of gaze compared to a much softer expression. It's just that they've got nothing to hide behind. They have to succeed here. There's such a focus on his face. Good it still looks. It's insane. Yeah. The level of detail. Just the tiny little imperfections of the skin and everything. It's awesome. And as far as the art of acting. Most actors are adult pretenders. This is real acting. He's in his mocap, but he is acting. It's not just voice acting. I don't know if anybody else could do this on the planet. You need them to buy that they are this person. Editing helps so much too. Knowing your actual face will never be on screen, but you have to sell it. We need your facial expressions, everything, and he just freaking kills it. There are a lot of challenges that just get applied on top of motion capture, especially when you've got the camera in front of you. It's like, oh cool. You've got to act against people with a giant camera in front of your face, and sell that that's not the case, that you're not in a big suit with a bunch of dots on it. Or in video games, you need to sell that you're in a location that is actually just a big sound stage. Look, see what's in the camera. And to help the actor, everyone's going to take that shit seriously as well when filming you. Yeah, I know that you're working towards something big. I love dead rabbits. This is all the close we get from this. And it's him doing this. Ugh. Andy Serkis must have destroyed his vocal chords doing this. Right? Brutus is so size like those rabbits for my friends. There's something about the way they animate his eyes. A lot of CG characters, their eyes look distinctly fake, but there's just some quality to them here where they look natural. Stupid fact rabbit. And I wonder what it is that this movie did differently than a lot of other movies do in that respect. Especially being the blown up, you know. Potatoes. Boil them mash them, stick them in a stew. Woo, he's had it. And so Meme was born. Potato, potato, potato, potato. Potatoes were forever changed. Potatoes needed an advocate sometimes and Sam is the right man for the job. Really, the MVP of the vegetable world. Really, yes. Potatoes. Roar. Those fucking faces he's making. Mr. Frodo, I think the ring's evil. He doesn't like my cooking, come on. We don't need anything else to prove it. I'm disappointed that they never got to eat that stew. This does feel like, though, that the happiest golem got at least somewhat because he's even kind of frozen or even there so he could throw his usual, like, bullshit at Sam. You kind of chill with it, just messing around instead of being more serious about it. Oh, downhill from here. Oh, yes. And also, I look. More things. Yum. New culture. More rabbits. I know those are people. I'm trying really hard not to bring up, bring some power right now. It gets tempting. This movie's great. The elephant. The elephant. It's such a cool, like, it's a cool design. Yeah, it looks great. It's like, it's the ultimate taken real animal. Now make the fantasy version of it. Yeah, and then you have, like, the big rickety platforms up top as well. That was cool. We should probably go. We should leave. I don't want to get fucking killed. That was really cool, though, what we saw. Yo, the chad. Well, not to hinder us. His sense of duty was no less than yours. I wonder what his name is. A lot to throw on us suddenly. And that, I think, is an extended scene, too. Yes, it is. Talking way. If it was really that hard. It's just a good insight into farming. You're right off the bat. Yep. Ain't no simple guy. War will make corpses of us. Or will make corpses of us. Except the lucky Victory Royale. Last of character so quickly. Oh, yeah. So quickly. It's true you don't see many Dwarf women. They're often mistaken for Dwarf men. Not gonna mention rings of power. Not gonna mention it, though. Dwarfs just spring out of holes in the ground. He's just a funny guy, you know? They were already... Because I've heard some people say, like, that he got comedified as the films go on. It was pretty much going for that. He was always a funny person. Yeah, so they did that with Mary and Pippin, too. Like, we're talking for the books, so. But it's the good kind of funny where it's like, they're just funny as they are in that world. Not like they're performing for an audience. Yeah, that's just his personality. That's just kind of a jovial guy sometime, you know? Dude. You got some dark scenes with him, as well. Like, Moria, when they discover worlds. Yeah, exactly. It's just called Levity. And film needs it, at some point. It's such talented humor sometimes in terms of writing. Like, the fact that they see the gap later on in Hell's Deepen, is that realisation is just as, toss me. It's just like, funny as fuck. But it's all built on a lot of stuff. Huge difference between Levity and not letting a series scene like, breathe for a second and being followed up by a joke immediately. Which is so much fun. Speaking of funny, by the way. It's hilarious that they've shown us she's talented with sword fighting but that she's shit at cooking. That's good. Maybe she should fight. My uncle told me a strange thing. It's like, burning his hands. It's so good. I mean, it's not trying too hard. It's just normal person funny. Yeah, it's the kind of characters that I'm with. Yeah, this is an extended scene right here that they did not put in the theatrical cut that I haven't seen. I look great for my age, okay? 87. 87. It's years older than Tobin Bell. I will. I'm gonna. I just prefer to eat, you know, load. I can't eat while people are looking. I can't. I don't have any problem with it. But some people have that problem. It's different. Well, when you have a beard, you just have napkins around but I don't give a shit. What's the same problem that Gimli had before spilling this drink all over? Maybe Gimli has a mukbang channel. Who knows? What's that? On YouTube where people record themselves eating food. Like eating a copious amount of food. Nicocado, avocado. Gimli-cado, avocado. It would just be salted pork that he's chairman doing on. Mmm, salted pork. Salty pork. Salted pork. I'll never forget his little smile. What do you find about this salted pork? It's so cute. The guy just wants to eat some stuff, you know? Yeah. Oh, look at that. Never mind. I was just gonna mention the see-through dress. You can mention that. That's okay. We all saw it. We saw what we saw. Can we not talk about Frodo when we're together? She's like, okay, so Sam? He's like, no. I don't see how much these days live, Tyler. The only other thing I've seen her in is Robot and Frank. I like that movie. He's coming back in the... No, she's coming back to Captain America. Captain Black Falcon America. Brave new... Yeah, she's coming back. Yeah, because she's Ross's daughter, right? Yeah. Yay. Harrison Ford is my dad. So she's had two dads, Hugo Weaving and Harrison Ford. Well, I'm William Hart. And William Hart, yeah. R.I.P. How much money do you think we can give her to convince her to not be in a Marvel property? I don't know how much she's got going on these days. Yeah, maybe she's just doing stuff. Maybe she's just doing stuff. You have to assume for both of these actors, no, it's just a paycheck. Well, something more explicit about it, you know? Oscar Isaac, Michael Zanoff, everyone. I need another house, yeah. I like how they paid attention to get him with the same hairstyle he had in the scene in the first movie. I wonder if they shot it at the same time? Maybe? Yeah, like concurrently. Well, yeah, but they wouldn't show it. No, of course not. While they were here at this place, they did all the scenes. Because maybe they had a plan or something. It looks like a different time of day. So I wonder if this was filmed the same day or just different lighting or different color grading or something. We have the color grading in A plus. This belongs to you. Damn. It was a shitty gift. No, that's a great gift. If someone gave me something like that, I'd be like, dang. I mean, if it was me, I'd just be like, does that have magical powers? Can I cast spells? That would be a fair thing to ask, though. Just so we're clear, because this is like elf stuff. Like, is this magic? Does it do anything that I should be aware of? This does give me a buff, right? Because if not, I don't want it. She's like, you run 1% faster. You're like, oh. I guess that'll add up over a lifetime. What is it? What is it, horsey? Well, he's about to get a rough death, that guy. Woo! We just need to agree that the Hobbit Wargs were the worst. I would prefer to look at these guys. These ones look good. I actually really like the Ring of Power one, but the Hobbit one was... Wait, you like the Ring of Power one? The Warg? Yeah. I think it looks fucking great. It looks like a fucking Chihuahua. I like it. Looks very, kind of like, natural and base deal. I like it. I couldn't disagree more. I take the Hobbit ones over the fucking Ring of Power one. No, the Hobbit ones suck. I've never said that they don't suck. It's so much better than the one from Rings of Power. We're not supposed to talk about the Rings of Power. I'm a Hobbit! Absolutely. You gotta admit that Gary, the credits were pretty good. The font, when they changed. No, just the feeling. I mean, yeah, when I finish reviewing it, when nobody watches season two and it gets canceled by season three, I'll feel much better. I'm so curious. I'm so ready for that to happen. I'm just so ready for the next Rings of Power failure. If they're gonna stick with five seasons over the next decade, I just don't see that happening. I don't even know if that's gonna happen. The thing is, we'll never know the viewing figures. I'm not even sure... By the time they hit season five, I wonder if any of us will even be watching it. Curiosity or not. If they're gonna do a season every two years, yeah, I'm gonna be my sixties when that thing ends. Here we go. Yeah! Yeah! It made sense. I think all of them get chat points for this. Hell yeah. Yeah! Get a charge. Go get him. Oh God, horses suck. Against... My horse doesn't even pounce and mash on my teeth. Oh well. He gets stuck in, Gimli. Just flicks himself off. He can take it on. Dwarf will fucking warg up. The head just comes right off. Flicked off the head. Whee! This guy's second shot. Doesn't get it. I feel bad for that guy. He's nailing it. He's like, ah, I got one! He's broke his neck. And it smells bad. And it smells on top of everything. This isn't at all like the blood in the Fangorn forest. That was delicious. I like that this is more of a... I'm probably not gonna be able to break that deck. Yeah, just always building up the three of them. Ah, so bad. Oh, you stabbed me. He twisted him as well. He twisted and got it, just like Galadriel said you should do. He twisted and got it, just like Galadriel said you should do. Aragorn has an addiction to stabbing. It's a good addiction. Very stabby. Uh-oh. Aragorn's dead. It's pretty incredible that they won. Yeah. No, you gotta worry. You feel like the last orc who's like, ah, shit. It's like... We had the advantage. We had wargs. That one guy who just stabbed us. The thing is the wargs will run right into a sword. They'll just take it. Yeah, they will. They're not bright, I guess. Horses aren't either, but they're like very, very skittish. So it keeps them alive. I took a little tumble off the cliff. He really had to rip his head together. Yeah, that seems more like additional punishment than healing. Mm-hmm. You could even survive that. Yeah, but they gotta go. You could have seen it from way further back than that. Yeah, come on. They weren't looking in the right direction. I have a six-four miles away. Let's go round. Whatever hoard-killing game you have, putting a Helm's Deep map in there is always a good idea. Bluen's Tower of Defense, but it's Helm's Deep. Someone made a really good Helm's Deep in Halo Infinite's Forge. Yeah, it's like one-to-one. The newest game that comes out that has the capacity to make a Helm's Deep map, it'll happen. That's the legacy. It's just constant cultural influence. You know the design of the castle? What's that like from? Do the books line it up or lay it out pretty well? Yeah, there's a pretty detailed description of Helm's Deep and it's pretty accurate from what I remember. Yes, it is. There's a few of you have returned. Yeah, shit sucked. Our people are safe. But now... What are you thinking about? Yep, our people are safe. He's just a Chad. All the way through. Especially considering that he's just gotten done with being like a flimpy old man to rallying all of his people. And his son died and his nephew is now banished and he can't get him back. And it's just like he's now in this massive pressing problem that he has to solve. He has so much self-doubt but he comes through like every time. Yep. No, no, no, no. Catapult's up front in front of the wall. And start with the cavalry charge just right into him. I love the idea of being made aware of what they did in that episode. It would just be like, but why? Why are you doing the opposite of common sense? We have to slow him down from spinning because of rings of power. He's still going. We have to slow him down and then explain to him. And this is after... Look at the rats. Look at the rat. It's a movie rat. Look at the movie rats. I hope they get out of there. I do as well. They'll probably be scared by the battle and all that. This is such a like, why do I keep you around? Geez. Blow up the whole fucking tower. There's a really good edit where the candle falls in and you just see the windows of the tower explode. Not bad. Cuts back to the both of us on their faces and their hair like blown up. Saruman the black. Oh shit. Saruman, but this is like beast. No, but even for Grima, when he sees this and the tear comes down his eye, you see like he... that's a little bit of regret. That's like, oh shit. His voice. I love how Saruman's got that huge staff and then Grima's just holding that little fucking candle. It's blown out. It's a good candle, man. Oh my God. Look at this. Deep. March to Helms deep. Leave none alive. Leave none alive. Even the rest. No door for men. Not by me, right? I'm cool. But what about women? Okay. I mean, you know Grima's thinking about that. You're gonna leave me alive after all this, aren't you? We're good, right? We're good. Yeah, we're good. We smell crazy. Have we gone on such a quaint little adventure with the tree man, you know? That's kind of where they would happily have led the rest of the movies, if not for a certain tree's getting cut down. Treebid was happy to remain neutral, but oh boy. You know that Aragor's just taking the opportunity to relax a little bit. Yeah, it's just a little swim. He's like, come on, that was pretty much. Recharge the batteries. He starts dreaming about our one. Yeah. He wakes him up. He's like, back to war. Come on, buddy. Come on, let's go. Looks like a serious injury. He's fine. Yo, what's up? Hey, remember me? Gotta go to Helms Deep. I'll see your swords on backwards. Horses are such awesome animals. They're loyal lads. Don't want to be kicked by one, though. No, no, no. You're gonna have to help me and help you on your adventures. You would like to have your horse kick your enemies. Yes, that's right. But I mean, if you're looking for the, you know, the Falcon kick of horses, you gotta get a zebra. Do they have the best kicks of them all? I think so, because I have kicks that can kill lions. It's very strong. I've got a kick that can kill lions. I am the weapon. My body, I am the weapon. My kicks. Do you like stab, twist, and gut with your leg? Absolutely. The old foot punch, they call it. Just imagine a zebra kicking an oracide, twisting the leg and tearing all of the entrails out on their hoof. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. He's 100% right about this. Yep, but you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt. Here you will dwell. Bound to your grief under the fading trees until all the world has changed in the long years of your life are utterly spent. Nice pep talk, Elrond. Thanks. Motivation minus one. That didn't make me feel better at all. Yeah, I still like him. After that speech? No, screw you, dad. Yeah, you're a big jerk. You know, I was just thinking about it. Saruman isn't actually in Lord of the Rings for that long, is he? No, not really. And yet, is that like, sort of ratio of time well spent makes you feel like he's a big part of it? Yeah, it's raw time. Any time with Christopher Lee is time well spent, I would say. Yeah, it's all memorable. He's saying something amazing or casting a cool spell or you get some neat visual. So it all sticks with you in your mind. And you've got his presence, even in the scenes where he's not, you know, actually present. Name three scenes where he's not present. Name three scenes where he's not present. Oh, damn. Oh, but you can't even think of two. Oh, yeah, that's a bit of a struggle there. I wonder if did Count Dooku. How much screen time did Count Dooku have? Not much at all. Not much either. Yeah, he's beloved by the fans. You know what? He didn't get much screen time in Sleepy Hollow either. Well, barely any because he was just not seeing anything, right? But that's Chrisfully funny because he's only in like three chapters in the entire trilogy of books. He doesn't even show up for the first time instead of the last chapter. No, he's like halfway through. You have to say the final chapter. No, I don't. Lord of the Rings, the final chapter is the movie. It doesn't show up until like the last Aragorn chapter of Two Towers. Really? Which is like halfway through the book. Yeah, it's halfway through the book, the books are kind of weirdly paced. The first half of it is all Aragorn's story and then the second half of it is all Frodo's story. Yeah, Two Towers ends with them going to Isengard and that's the first time that you see Saruman in the books. Then you don't see him again until the end of Return of the King. The time of the elves is over. Do we leave Middle Earth to its fate? Did I mention I killed an ice troll in under 10 seconds? Why did you have to bring that up? You couldn't help it. I just keep thinking about that scene where she gives the gifts and it's all to do with the ice. You think she rigs up Aragorn semi-regularly and they open the conversation and be like, man, you feeling good? I'm feeling good. Filled an ice troll. What have you done? Just sat in Rivendell, huh? Thousands every day? Jeez, we should give up. Just throw a big grenade into Mordor. Saruman attacks from Isengard. It's a Mordor. A last Grand Tour Special Waller. When they're pointing at the map and every time they point, it's a woman's hands and the pages finger nails. Not bad. Not bad. I was just thinking that. It could have been better, but considering the time, it's all right. Yeah, it's 3.6 rockin'. It's over just quick enough that you don't think about it too much. Yeah, but I mean, dated shots are all we can nitpick at this now. Yeah, I'll take slightly like subpar visuals with an amazing story. Any day. Any day. They kind of edited the coloring a little bit, so it looks a bit more natural in the 4K. The 4K versions are pretty damn good. Really fucking good. Yeah, because a lot of 4K stuff that's coming out is just garbage. There's like rush jobs. It helps that they got the same team back so that it's not just like the Buffy master. Why did it have to be Buffy that got the worst rebasta ever? If something has happened to Boromir, we would have you tell us. I used to call him Bro Amir. Borobro Boromir. You think part of the concern Frodo there is like, I hope you're not going to share Boromir's values. Frodo didn't get to see what Boromir did. He didn't have this different information. If he didn't get to see the redemption story. I like that he did Van Helsing after this. Yeah, and 300, right? He was in there too. Apparently he did Van Helsing because he wanted to go for the exact opposite character that he played in this. And that he did. Oh Boromir. The exact opposite level of quality too. I love Van Helsing. I like it too, but that armor is so good. There's no man boobs on it. Yeah, it looks good. It's not overly complex. No boobs. It just looks good. God, those pictures comparing this armor to the rings of power armor is insane. Yeah, that new one or stuff looks fucking stanky. Good speech. Nice and short. Leaves more time for drinking. Bro. Bro. Shombina is such a good smile. Yeah. Now when you finish, say more mead wench and throw it on the ground. Comes with a carpenter. Oh, shit. Oh, he's here. Yeah. You're going to love their relationship right before he arrives. And this is just as obvious like Boromir knows exactly what the dynamic is. Dynathor is obsessed with Boromir and Boromir I fucking hate him too. He's like this asshole. It's like that awkward tolerance of it though. Look, for Fathomir the city would still be standing. Always you cast a bow of reflection on me. You give him no credit and yet he tries to do your will. I know his uses and they are few. Damn. Boromir is like you are a dick. Boromir is so good in all of his deleted scenes too. For which there seem to be a lot. The one ring. Oh, that look on his face. Yeah, it's like the Bollywood also the hope of winning. This was cut out of the theatrical. This was cut from the theatrical? Yeah, none of this stuff was in it. This scene and Fathomir talking about the corpse when they bumped into Sam and Frodo. Those were both cut. Those were extended sequences. I know it's crazy, isn't it? You forget who the ones were in the patch. Arm is not in the theatrical. Well, I only ever saw the fellowship theatrical. I never watched the other two. I'll never go into because they're inferior. I still remember watching the extended for the first time being fucking blown away. It's like literally new content. Holy shit. Bring me back this mighty gift. My place is here with my people. Not in Rivendell. It's so amazing. Why would you get rid of it though? Good God, if Fathomir had gone to Rivendell instead. Yeah. What would have happened, Fathomir is he's kind of got a purity to him. He didn't take the ring. Send me instead. Fathomir wanted the ring to protect Gondor. Sure, but so much of it was like I want my dad to fucking respect me. I try so goddamn hard. Maybe if I give him the one ring he will like me. Yeah. Nah, the ring's fucking evil. You guys better blow it up. It killed Boromir. Oh yeah, it's a big deal when they Sam tells Fathomir what Boromir did. Drove your brother mad. It's the last time they ever saw each other. Was it? Not to spotlight you, but was it Drove, you say that you thought Fathomir was probably one of the lesser awesome characters. Could it be because you're more familiar with the theatrical versions? I mean, it's going to be partly that. Yeah, I mean, just generally your ways. I mean, let's be honest here there is a lot of awesome characters to pick from. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's why choosing. Yeah, it's not so much like I used to shoot character and it's more, you know, up against the least best is the, yeah. Yeah. Not even like the least best, but the lower tier of awesomeness. I think he's one of the higher tiers. I think he's really excellent and complex. You put him above how many people? 18. Name them. You know that farmer guy who gets fucking killed by the Nazgul? That guy, yeah. He's above him. Those two guys, and those two, those four guys, he's above them. Dude, they would, it's so fucking good these came out with where they did, because if they were coming out today, it probably would be like if they were successful and need to be like Lord of the Rings, what if? What if they did kill Garlam here? And then what happens next? There's a multiverse and Thanos involved and stuff. Is it George R. R. Mine who hates the what if stuff and fan fictions that splinter off from the main storylines? Yeah, he does. Well, George R. R. Marn hates Lord of the Rings as well. Well, George R. R. Marn just hates people who actually make stories. Oh, get fucked, George. Come on our podcast, please. Finish the book, George. Whatever book you're working on, I don't know what it's called. A triptych of blue and asparagus or whatever it's called. I don't know. Hold the view to assume that he's worked on a book in the past 13 years. Yeah. Yeah. My original joke. Yeah, you made a different one. The same vibe. Oh my goodness. Part two. Follow me, come on. Follow me, Spiegel, come on. Spiegel's like a big sussers. Who played the fish in the scene? He's doing really good. Imagine, oh, do you think he actually had fish in his mouth, Andy Serkis? Oh, he did. Oh, yeah, the reason I brought it up was because I could associate with a hundred of everyone wanting to do all different kinds of things to a work that you create, especially if they're shit ideas. Yeah, I guess you just have to look at the positive elements of, wow, people love my stuff so much that they want to, you know, they really want to expand on that. Interesting alternate scenarios are cool, but then you get stuff like what if where the ideas for the alternate scenarios are kind of just stupid in the first place. Like they're not really interesting questions. What's one of the what if scenarios, like if Black Panther was Captain America, or if Black Panther was a good guy. Star Lord. It's just too late in all episodes. I feel like one on one is like what if Tony got killed at the beginning of Iron Man? What if he actually got killed and he didn't get saved? What happens afterward with like Obadiah? That's what the comics were, basically. What if so-and-so lived? Or what if so-and-so died? What if Spider-Man joined the Fantastic Four? Yeah, and for example, what if Faramia goes and joins the Fellowship is infinitely interesting. Yeah, that's a interesting idea. That's how Faramir came to learn that he had the ring. Because Gollum talks to himself. And Faramir listened. He's a clever lad. I too watched the movie. Your ring's taking me, son. It's a completely understandable conflict, though. Because, like, what? You can't put Sam in your head to, like, see the effect that it's having on you, like, internally. Well, and they do a really great job across the three films of just breaking Frodo apart. Like, uh... Yeah, it further emphasises that it is a tremendous burden. The fact that he's been able to get this far at all is astounding. Like, it's just every waking moment is a struggle. The ring of power within my grasp. Nuts, man. Without those Faramir scenes, this scene means different things. It really, like, man, I understand that you've got to cut stuff because you've got to get it to a certain runtime for theatres, but, like, fuck, man. You know what I mean? There's an irony to it because he does end up showing his quality. Wonderful. I think Faramir and Frodo are having a competition to be the weirdest right now. Sam is the total, like, out of the loop one. Whoa! Stop it! He's got to destroy it! Will you not help him? The ring will go to Gondor. Ooh. That's lame. But it's not the end. Imagine watching that scene but without the context for their relationship at that point, you know? I guess you could say most people did, as in, like, most people don't... Most people would have, yeah. I imagine that more people have seen the theatrical than the extended. Oh, my God. It keeps getting pointed out, but it's like, dude, Earth is pretty cool, you know? There's a lot of cool shit here. Yeah, this is alright, yeah. I'm gonna kill him! Bless you, laddie. That's the necklace that Arwen gave him. Which one of you said it was a stinky gift? Who did say that? Wow. That is not based. All eyes and guard has ended. How many? Ten thousand strong at least to destroy the world of men. He's had so many problems to deal with. It's such a short amount of time. He's still gonna take a head-on, he's like, you know what, fuck it. Homestief's pretty good, so, like, we can do this. Even if it is ten thousand, right? Not much option, either. It's not like they can run. Well, they could all go out through the back or whatever, but I don't know, it's just how long is that even gonna buy you. It just keeps allowing it, exactly. Like, this is their best opportunity. Homestief is like a good place to our mountain defense. They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. When I see this, I think of... I always think about the amazing Killing Floor 2 map that takes all this, and it's a level that's really good. I think that was the map I had to play in the most of all the custom maps, except one other one. There was a lot of really good ones. I need to revisit that game and play it more. I put a lot of hours in, and I've always enjoyed it. You don't need two Rags, killing four threes on the way. That's right, it is. If they don't have, like, all the custom map stuff and everything from the second game, there's gonna be a revolt. Yes, there is. He's Lord of the Rings. Aragorn. I've been announcing that shit. This is a seriously good point from Rohan. Sorry, he is Rohan, to be honest with you. But, um, Thaedon, like, it's almost, um, a flaw to be like, why the fuck would you just be talking about this so publicly? How much we're gonna lose? Well, what's really cool about it is that Legolas does it later, and Aragorn calls him out for it. There's a lot for Aragorn to learn from Thaedon, even though you'll be older than him, right? Gondor will answer. Gondor. No, my lord, Aragorn. How awesome is it, this performance and the fact that it's showing Thaedon is fucking worried? Yes. He's putting on an act for his men. Look at my men. The courage hangs by a thread. As he says, like, their courage hangs by a thread, and it's up to us to present an image of strength. I wonder if he thinks that of himself, too. That he's worried he'll fail. And who will come? Elves? Wild men. We're gonna help. The last thing that will be expected. I'm off. The Wild Men are like, listen, we like the Raven Pillars, but we want humans to win. We like them the most. You ever seen a Wild Man cutting his hand for Thaedon? We swear that we will fight for you now. Ow, man. Yeah, it's like, is that a scar on your hand already? No, it's nothing. No, no, no. That was an unrelated promise that I made. We are alone. We are alone. You won't be, sir, and it'll be invigorating. It'll be so easy not to help them back. Mm-hmm. Yes. And yet. We gotta deal with all of our own problems. Absolute Chad. He's handling all of this so well, but he's seen as, like, is that speech that Saruman gives about him, the dressing down of him, that's so, like, unfair and cruel? And that's another thing that got fucking cut, by the way. Get the women and children into the caves. More time to lay provisions for a single one. There is no time. Wow, protecting the women and children. No, the women have to go to the front lines. Are any of you women familiar with ice trolls? Have you defeated any? There's people out there today that will probably have a fucking problem with that line. Like, women don't need protecting. There almost was. Arwen, by the way. Didn't they have, um... Yeah, I'm so glad they did away with it. And I assume that has nothing to do with the books. That's a, that would have been an invention of the film. Yeah, that was... Yeah, very much so. Arwen's not in the books. He's spoken about. But yeah, it's interesting to think that Aragorn is, like, learning a lot of what it means to be a king from third and... Yeah, I mean, Aragorn's never been a leader until now. Yeah, like, he's an extremely talented warrior. But I mean, it's more than just, it's more than just that that makes a good king. And I gotta admit, look, it's okay, but none of them look as good as Treebeard. Well, nah, he got all of the attention there. But, you know, they got interesting bids themselves. They do. That's true. It's a lovely beard. Yeah, like, look at that guy's beard on the right there. It's very pointy. It looks like he's got a bunch of arrows shot into his face. You guys look a bit flimpy. Some of them just weren't as lucky. Yeah, no, Treebeard is clearly grafted. Treebeard is clearly the good looking. He's the handsome one. Oh, yeah, he's the handsome tree. He's the one I'd fuck. He's the handsome tree. Man, I so appreciate, like, how much time we spend actually, like, seeing the civilians, you know, seeing all of the innocents. I feel like it's something that's been really absent, particularly talking about superhero films, of not sort of establishing what exactly it is that you're fighting for. Because even, you know, there's, like, specific civilians who we get to sort of see. Like, that family that got split apart at the beginning. But it's even just seeing them moving around and clearly pretty unhappy to just realize. Yeah, it's just, like, reminding us. This is what we're doing it for. Exactly. This is who we're trying to defend. I mean, obviously, the stakes are, like, quite grand here. But at the same time, you compare it to, you know, you compare it to something like fucking Endgame. It's really, really, really low stakes by comparison, but it feels enormous. Yeah, our low key or something like that. All of reality isn't at risk. Yeah, exactly. All of the universe, all of the reality, all of the multiverses compared to all of the people that have been gathered here at Helms Deep. It's just important to keep seeing them so that it just keeps reminding you what exactly it is that they're fighting for. I'm to be sent with the women into the caves. Yes, because you are a woman. Well, I mean, considering that you are one, we need someone to make the stew. I don't need her stew. No. Like, she's like, nobody likes stew. Our girl isn't going to serve itself, OK? So just get on it. Yeah. If you serve stew to the Uruk Hai, you'll repel their invasion. We need you in the kitchen, but for not the reason you think. We know that they're familiar with restaurants because meat is back on the menu. So, like, let's just open a restaurant here at Helms Deep. Yeah. The soup of the day is whatever Aowyn fucking makes in that pot of hers. Instead of boiling oil, they pour her soup on the pot. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. This chick's all into me. Damn. I thought we were just work flirting. It's the whole, like, 96 years old thing that really got her in. Yeah. He said, like, 87. You're just hyper-exaggerating. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm ridiculous. You're trying to make it seem like it's not true love. I do love the escalations throughout The Lord of the Rings trilogy. You know, it starts off with fellowship, where you've got, it's kind of just small-scale battles. Yes, it is. Towards the end, where it's just very much, like, each member of the fellowship trying to survive that Uruk-hai attack. Then you've got this, where you're facing an army of 10,000, and then you've got the Siege of Minas Tirith, where there's, like, 100,000 orcs that you're up against. I mean, it's just... Which that kind of follows, I think, intuitively, of, like, oh, yeah, the longer it goes on, the grander it gets. But really, it kind of, like, highlights, like a desire to make sure that we have a good understanding of the fellowship, this core team of characters, and then once we've got that, then we can start expanding the scope of, well, now we understand who they are. Let's introduce them to new important players in the world. And, like, it doesn't get too confusing. I was just gonna say, I like this scene, though. Like, the soldiers just going through it, just picking out lads who look, like, roughly big enough to swing a sword. You and your... Like, you're coming with us, and you're probably gonna die. But it's a great, like, representation of, I guess, the practicalities of life back then. If you were a lad of, like, at least 14, 15, you're probably gonna have to go to war. Like, if shit happens. For all the men here as well, signaling the desperation of this situation that they need everybody that they can get. One of the parts that I definitely remember even as a kid, because I was like, oh, no, everyone's gonna die. They don't all die, so that's nice. That's right, they don't all die. Various stable boys. These are the soldiers. Now, with that attitude... Oh, you hear Orlando Bloom, night them. Too few. Because of the movie? Kingdom of Heaven? That's right. That's the same actor. They're in a similar situation. It seems like an appropriate... Ew. Well... You know. Maybe if you make the joke longer, it'll be funny. No, it was funny to begin with. It's more of a, it wasn't even a joke. It wasn't even a joke. It was a reference. That went on for a long time. Oh yeah, well, naga dakathaya. Look at them. They're frightened. You can see it in their eyes. Legolas being a bit of a downer, though. This is where it deviates from the books a little bit because in the book, they're actually quite well prepared at Helm's Deep. They actually have a pretty sizable force there. It's not just like a bunch of old men and boys. They expected something like this to happen. Oh, hey, one of the best things in the whole trilogy. It's a speech. This is why Theron is just the fucking goat. The makeup for his, like, his old vision took nine hours to get into it. He was old by the time that you had it on. Yeah. That stuff always surprised me. I'm just like, fucking hell, that's gotta be painful, isn't it? Then down for nine hours. We just know now they were just CGI. Honestly, that'll be part of the reason, right? As an actor, you can just CG it, right? Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? It really depends on how passionate you were involved in the project, I suppose. If few other people are making sacrifices, then you'll be less encouraged to yourself. And in a way... They have passed the rain on the mountains like wind in the meadow. You can argue this speech applies to a hell of a lot more than what he's talking about in the vein of the creative arts having been crushed. I say this as if you haven't done that with a lot of your videos, Gary. Yeah, I put this in as much as I can because it's very applicable. A lot is being said. Yes. Yeah, well, they're a bunch of jerks, sir. How did it come to this? Every day. It's great to watch films like this, though, every once in a while and remind yourself this is what movies can do for you. Yeah, you didn't gas like yourself. You didn't just become cynical. You didn't just decide I don't like films anymore. I was like, no, no, no, the ones you were watching before were really fucking good. Your favorites are really fucking good. There was definitely a process to get where we are today. You're saying it took a while? It took a minute. We're running out of time. Yeah, this feels like the portion of Mary and Pippin's journey where they're like, okay, we've been on cooldown for way too long. Like, I know it was pretty rough with the whole kidnap by Orcs and Uruk, I think, but we're kind of ready to get back in. I think it's Santa Claus down there on the bottom right. Yeah, and Seed and Theosin said they were left alone. It's like Santa's there. That's got to count for something. Yeah, Santa showed up. Dude, the discourse about this moment. Holy shit. Do you remember the person that was like, is Aragorn a fucking idiot? That is not a good sword. Do you remember this? Yeah, it's like you're missing the point of what you're supposed to do here. You have to encourage him for fuck's sake. This is a good sword. What the fuck are you thinking? Imagine if he just said, this sword is fucked. This is a shit sword. Yeah, so the first time you hit someone with it. So I mean, Aragorn is very easy to like. So I feel like he is a combination of all inspirations of all the people he's been talking to and meeting as well as his own sort of values. They managed to maintain that great balance with him where he is a man who's still slightly reluctant to take on his destiny. In the films. King of Gondor still fundamentally great at what he does. He is a fighter. He is a warrior and he will take on the enemies that are in front of him. He just doesn't want that larger responsibility. Well, we went over but I'm on hand. He is fucking badass. Yep. And I mean, it helps deep of course too, but yeah. As Gary mentioned there, like in the books, he's a bit different. He's very much a man sit on his course already and he knows exactly who he wants to be and what he's going to do. Yeah. I see why they gave him a little bit more self doubt. It totally works in the movies. I love it. It's a little tight across the chest. His legs are going to be very protected. Him was always there to give us a little bit of levity. Yeah. To rely on when we need it. A little relief from the fucking horrors. Yep. You'll have to toss me. Toss me. Oh, dude. It's such a good payoff. What? I cannot jump the distance. I cannot jump the distance. You'll have to like the way he says it is so like insecure and you still feel like. I can't do it. It's said so robotically in the sense of like, it is a fact. I cannot make that. But once he gets into it, it's like he almost overcompensates by just going fucking up to 11. Yeah. And having it be, you know, lack of a better term, vulnerable for a second. Oh, it fucking binds you to all these people. Look at Dayedin's armor. Looks great. It's fucking awesome. And the Elven armor looks different, you know. Yeah. Compare that to the billion dollar rings of power. It looks like a carved wooden weird thing. With like flap. All the fucking Elves are like CGI clones of each other. And this is like, you can tell they're real. I found out by the way that Helm's Deep, they had 20 hours of like usable story footage for this whole battle. And it's like, oh, can I see it? Can you show us that? Because it would be fun if we saw that. It's edited down from 20. It's just like fucking hell. Just give it to me. Give it to me raw. I'll have a movie that's just about the battle of Helm's Deep. Hell yeah. Fucking amazing. I built this big all set. They got all their fucking cool ass spears and everyone's in armor and outfits and everyone's kind of got that longish hair, a bit unkempt. Santa Claus is here. Santa's the one that fucking releases the arrow. Yeah. He's a man of action. He's tired of waiting to work one day a year. But you know what? He gets his killing. He gets his killing. So he does something. Kill it in. Imagine being one of these guys looking at this sea. Look at all the helmets they made. Of course the elves were never supposed to be here. You can see that comedy show. That's great. Yeah, like in the books, the elves part in this whole war is very much off screen. Like there's multiple battles that take place around Lafloria and stuff, but like it's not actually shown. I kind of get why they wanted to actually show them an action here. She was just cleaning up. You know, she didn't want to... Throughout the books, there's tons of battles going in other places that I would have actually liked to have seen. Yeah, you can hear it pattern off the steel. It's just the fucking details. The tension is just building and building and building. It really feels like we're here. All these dudes and outfits, walking around under rain machines, getting cold and wet. Well, and again, we talked about the marriage of... Probably miserable to make this and they made something amazing. There's only ever a maximum of 100 Urukai. There's never more than that. So the rest you see are always CG. My God, how... You would never fucking know. It make it look great. Obviously the darkness helps on the rain. Yeah, and it's hard to pick out individuals to really see. Every time you hear the marching, it's always in lockstep. It's always that mechanical. It just ties in perfectly with that whole industrialized feel that you have with Isengard. Fun fact, they couldn't actually recruit enough men. People are for six foot to play Urukai, right? That's what they need, but they didn't have enough. So they ended up having to use people who were five foot high as well. And they were called Uruklo. Dude, the breathing through the mask and the... I love that one, yeah. That was freaking good. Do you like me to find you a box? You know that is clear evidence that he knows he would normally be like, What the fuck? But he was like, Nah, I like that, that's funny. That's a great reaction thing from videos too, that giggle. It's got that pause in front of it. With this right, because they're in range of your archers, like wouldn't you want to just be firing immediately? Like as soon as they're in range, just like open fire on them, kill as many as you possibly can. Or maybe this guy just had a really, really, really, really strong arm. It might be they're just out of a reasonable range, I don't know. Because they might have wanted them to be a little bit closer to guarantee shots or something. You know this when he falls down and the arrow goes all the way through him then? Yeah. There's always something in movies and stuff I notice when people get shot by arrows and then fall on them and roll around. Oh my God. And I love the idea that the archer like that was mean. So it begins. You killed Glenn. Wait, you guys are carrying on someone's going to get hurt. Oh, the music. Fuck it, let's go. Yeah, go on guys, fuck them up. Yeah, because they're still waiting for a better range. Specifically, yeah, I guess to get between the armor. All the bow strings and everything making all the water kind of spritz around. Okay, Gimli just wants to kill something. So cool. Yeah, you know he says like give them a volley. It's like, no, just open fire. Go, go, go, go, go. Keep going as long as you can until you run out of arrows. I'm fucking good. I love the music here. Yeah. I mean, that's not mince words. Helmsteep is known as one of the greatest battles in all of movies. I mean, it is. It is. It might be the greatest. I think it's because it's on a scale that you can understand. Like, when you get to the level of like, the siege of Honduras and stuff like it's so big you almost can't wrap your head around it. But like, this is like, very much you can follow it. The music is. Look at that. And, you know, first big battle in the trilogy. Yeah. And it's such a promise of what this has to all. Yeah. After you've done like, like, how are they going to do the next ones? There it is. Oh, my God. Oh, everybody. It transcends cultures and races. This guy's leg off here. He's lopped it off. Oh, my leg. Look at that. That guy's just a fucking beast. Yes. Get him, get him. That's too early. That's too early. I'm on 17. What? I have no pointy ears. I'm scoring me. No pointy ear. It is real. He sticks all the knife here. Oh, right in the Palantirs. I have no pointy ear. 19. Oh, it's so much fun. And they make me buy the Gimli as a fucking force to be reckoned with even by the Orca, you know. Which is tough. There's a bit where he's just between two ladders and he's just fucking hacking them down every time a new one comes up. 70. 18. 19. 19. Look at that. What? All right. What do you guys think about the pacing juxtaposition of taking us to the ends in the middle of Helm's Deep? Yeah. No, I'm fine with that. You need it. Let you breathe. Yeah. You need that break. Otherwise, it would just become exhausted. It's a challenge. It's a fine art. I feel like there's no clear guidebook on what is good or bad pacing, but it does feel like we need a bit of a breather after all of that. It's like the rising tension, then all of the action actually playing out. And then, all right, let's slow down a little bit. We'll be back there in a, you know... We'll be back. Don't you worry. It's the kind of thing talented people know. There's no plan. There's no way to teach timing. Oh, yeah. I feel like it's really hard to... Yeah. It's like needed timing. How do you teach that? Tone and pacing are really difficult to teach. Could you imagine if, like, Ryan Johnson or Taika Whitey Ear, or something had directed this trilogy? Could you just imagine that the absolute... I don't like to imagine that. Why would you make me imagine that? I'm just thinking like, like, what if you cut your dick off? What if you cut your dick off? It would be the pervasive idea of... We don't give them exactly what they want. You know, we got to subvert those expectations, all right? You want us to see a big epic battle? I don't know about that. Well, actually, what if we just don't do that? What if just straight-hour kills Aragorn? What if the straight-hour kills Helmsdeep? There he is, there. Go! You might say, shit would be if you're a surrogate. It has to go on to him. It's like, I'm just going to get fucking hacked down here, man. Yeah, and it's like, guys, can we switch? Can I switch to Latin and note? Push me up, all right. Oh, yes. Coming up with this deal. This is actually the main door they made. It was made so well. The battering ram, which was real that they got, couldn't take it down. They had to weaken the door. I think Pierre Jackson said, if I wanted to build an actual fucking fort, I'd probably get wetter. Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman? I forgot what the actual thing is. For the... We hadn't built that fucking sewer here. God damn it. That's such a moment if someone noticed that happening. What are you... Are they bombs? Do we even know what bombs are? They don't. Oh, and then clearing it. There he comes. There he comes. Oh, it's Cherry. It's a player plan. It's like you got to shoot him quick. Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything. I was just taking the arrows. It just feels like an Olympic guy. Special Olympic guy. Oh, very special. Oh, God. Oh, I suck at that. Look at that. It feels like we're doing so well that it's like, oh, fuck, what the hell? Oh, shit. This is actually that. It's automatically turned inside of the battle. That looks like it was done with practical effects. Big picture. They just blew up. Yeah. That looked like real pyrotechnics. Dude. That looks so good. The peaks and valleys of the battle, everything was looking good now. It's dramatic in space. He's just fucking like, what the hell? I've never dealt with this before. Yeah, like, how can you make explosions happen? And then, like, you know, while thinking about that, it's like, oh, yeah, they're coming up on the main door as well. And then, of course, you've got them piling in on the main wall. It's just like, fuck. The subtle bulge of the, uh, battering your ram under the shields doesn't move forward. There he is. There he is. Yep. I do it. And when the battering ram finally would hurt like this as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can throw rocks, kid. Oh, get in there. Ghibli! Yeah! Oh, I love the way he sets up to get it as well. Let's go. I would not charge them. I'd be like, just keep shooting them with arrows. That's our good man. You've got to get Ghibli. Yeah. Hitting them all out of life. Yeah. Come on, let's go. There he goes. There he goes. Yes. The fact that it fucking fires into like... Yeah. Wow. My face. See what coming back up again from that big loss. Still very much bad news with that wall. I hate to bring it up, but they just, they kept building up that third episode of Season 8 of Game of Thrones with Helms Deep. And it's like, what are you thinking? What are you doing? Well, I guess they were thinking we're going to kick its ass. They really did. I remember them celebrating. It's longer than Helms Deep. It's longer. Oh, it's longer. That means something. Why did the guys charge? Why did they do that? Why did they charge that guy? Why did they learn nothing from everything else that was good? What I don't get about some of the storytelling and filmmaking, there's so many people who've showed you how to do it. What exactly is it that motivates you to create if not seeing great things and trying to create your own great things and replicate that greatness? J.D. Payton and Patrick McKay worked for Bad Reboot for like 10 years and never got a script. They got one script credit. They got a partial credit on one script, but they had touched up a bunch of scripts and done and written a bunch that have all been rejected. And they decided to give those two clowns the most expensive TV show of all time. Speaking of which, isn't it unbelievable that the guy who wrote Tross is writing a Legend of Zelda movie? How? How did it happen? How? How? Why did they let it happen? Everyone hates that movie. The Miss Marvel's writers getting jobs left and right. They love her. Oh, look, Helm Steeping. Getting more of that desperate sense now. Yeah. Yep. Doesn't mean, you know, you're putting up a good fight, but it's a battle of attrition. Well, yeah, it's like when they outnumber you 100 to 1, you're not going to win that one. Yeah, the wall was their advantage, but they've kind of lost it at this point. I'm going to go to the cave! Get your gun out of there! I love how they give me these like, ah, fuck it, let me out of them. Oh, no. Would the music be at all? I feel like, wait a minute, we're doing a serious thing. When you're probably like 1,000 years old, like death is just so, like so much more significant because you've never experienced it. He's in Spartacus. Damn good show. Ooh, he just got, he got stabbed by the battering ram. His head hit the fucking, that also feels deliberate, giving the bad guys crossbows more mechanical, right? Yeah, it's more industrial. Yeah, more mechanical. He does, man. He's got so many orcs. Ah, yeah. Yes. Damn. Fuck him up. He's still... Yeah. Get him. Get him, motherfucker. How long do you need? As long as you can get me. Yeah, pretty much as long as, whatever you can get. Like, yeah, a couple of weeks to move on. You would think if they knew, like they were going to be under siege. It's like, you know what? We'll just pile rocks behind that gate. Like, nothing's getting through that ever. Oh, come on. We can take them. It's a long way. Well, he says that's a long way. Touch me. It's so fucking good. Look at Aragorn's expression, right? Yeah? What? Right. Yeah? All right. Don't tell me all that. Don't tell me else. Not a word. A word. Damn. He's got so powerful. Yeah. Well, that's the combination of... Dynamics. It's really easy. Look at him die. It's funny how long the people at the door took to realize too. They're like, wait, what's going on? Like, so just jumped in behind us? What's happening? What the fuck? Do you know what I mean? The fucking fight developing. Also, I love that. Attaching each other back to back sort of thing. You don't want to get your leg caught by that. No. You don't want to get shot by one of them. Yeah, that would be really unfortunate if you got hit by one of them. It'd be over really quick if you were hit by one. I think I read the guy who got hit by it broke his leg when they do that sequence. Oh, shit. Really? Oh, wow. Look at this fucking multi-kill. Look how many he gets. Yes. Did he count all those? Okay, we'll just leave. That's such a lead, a moment of just like, there's nothing else I can do. Good luck, guys. Yep, I'm rooting for you. How could Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas not be the best of fucking friends at this point? Oh, here it is. Yeah, even small bits like that, I always quite like, there's so many of them are not ready to go toe-to-toe with one of those fuckers. They're so vicious. No. And then that door opens the door. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, give us why. You really get the impression of like, this is like the new world versus the old. Like they are not equipped to deal with this kind of siege warfare, like the new, the gunpowder. Yep. These like spring-powered, all this stuff that like just overcomes all their defenses. I will leave you at the western borders of the forest. It is crazy how well integrated Marion Pippenaw with Treebird. Like there's really hard to tell where Treebird beget like the CG Treebird and the actual physical props. The fact that they pulled off Treebird is pretty incredible. Just story-wise. It would have been very easy to make him goofy as fuck. Well, yeah, that's why they, you know, they leave out Tom Bombadil. But I think one of the reasons given was Treebirds essentially character-wise the same thing and way more important. Well, yeah, I mean, you can't get the resolution for Isengard and everything without Treebeard. So kind of indicative of how much work would have gone into him. And the fact that it's not even all CG. Really need to go back to that because it would be cheaper. It's smarter. It's working smarter. It's better. It's working smarter. And it's, yeah, it's cheaper. They don't go to Oskiliath in the books, right? No, they don't. They don't miss the line. Like from Sam, obviously, by all rights, we shouldn't even be here. I don't know if it was the studio that pushed for that scene and Peter Jackson was against it. And that was like his way of like, just, you know, pointing out the fact that it was stupid. Well, I mean, what are you guys saying? Because I quite like their excuse. I think it works. Oskiliath. I think you got enough with Firemere where they were, like, because they were kind of on the borders of Mordor. And you had the scenes with Gollum, like all that stuff was in the books. I don't think it was necessary to take them all the way back to Oskiliath and then turn all the way back. I think Firemere would want to go. I think it makes sense that Firemere would want to go and... I think it would. It does. But in the books, it's more definite. Like, he recognizes, like, he has to let them go. And he makes that conscious decision to let them go where his Boromir couldn't have. And I think that's what separates the two problems. I thought that's what they were doing, though, is that... He does. He does eventually, but like it takes quite a lot to get them to that point. But doesn't he... Is that not arguably better? At first, he's like, the ring goes to Gondor, of course. That's the decision to make. And then he sees what he sees in Oskiliath and he's like, okay, maybe not actually. Especially with the deleted scene that we've already seen. Firemere's a lot different. He's a tricky one because... Yeah, because he's a lot different than the book. Like, a lot. The book fans primarily hate Firemere in the movies. Well, they kill him. Suck a dick. Yeah, they do. Firemere's great. He's like a student of Gandalf. The books to me are superior, but I love the movies and I love what they did. It is likely that we go... I love that. This, like, attitude permeates so much of the story. Like, this could be the last time we do this. We're going to risk everything on this one last assault, but fuck it, we're going to do it anyway because it's the right thing to do. Dude, the music, that part too, was rad. Yeah. Plus, maybe it's good that we got Oskiliath here because in Return of the King, of course we'll see it later. Oh, yeah. This definitely helps us understand how lost Oskiliath is entering here knowing that Gondor's got this whole shit going on. I mean, Oskiliath has been around for decades by this point. Oh, yeah. But remember, the last time we saw it was in a flashback where they'd won it. It was theirs. So now seeing this, it's like, oh, shit, what's going on here? And it's like, yeah, Mordor is basically taking the fuck over. It also balances the one victory that we're going to see later. Sorry, spoilers. Wait a second. Rushing defeat. You know what? I'm assuming most people have seen it if you haven't. You know, for a fact, there will be that one guy who's like, I never watched the ring. I've watched many reviews of it, many people's coverage, but I just, I don't know. I'm feeling it. I was waiting for the right time to watch it. Yeah. The ring drove your brother Matt. Look, that's subtle. Yeah, it gets to him. Oh, and that model getting fucked up. It looks so good. Frodo having a moment as he does. No, he's not. The ring's great. They're here. They're here. That's like when the acid kicks in. You kind of look like that. The acid. Our missiles. See, if this was Game of Thrones, they'd have ballistos. She would have kind of forgotten about the orcs. I love that little shot. I love that shot outside. It helps. They're all waving the flags like, we got it, motherfucker. Yeah. And then you just see theater like, haven't won yet, not yet. He's pretty, he's pretty down in the dumps here. A little bit. Yeah. Aragorn ain't down yet. He's starting a black pill. The fortress is taken. It is over. Let's ride out and fuck them up. Please, have any of you defeated an ice troll? I have. Me too. There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. Yeah, I don't know. I've always felt like they probably should have been cycling them out of that pass to begin with. Yes. Big insurance policy. Well, that's a big cave system. What can men do against such reckless hate? We can fight. Ride out with me. I remember something. The sun is rising. Oh, they set this up. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You're right. I hop his opening. Paul Gimley hitting the horn. Because he has no idea what happened. He's like, did we win? He thinks the horn caused it. He thinks the horn caused it. Yeah. And off to arrive. And he's like, whoa. The tail he tells his children, I want it by blowing the horn. It's scared all the work I away. The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep one last time. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. We draw swords together. Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Yeah. So fucking good. Yep. Veldeed's awake. This moment. Yep. Oh yeah. Now for wrath. Now for ruin. And the red doors. I like this more than the charge of Rohan at the Pelinor Fields. It's so fucking hopeless here. Yeah. They're just going for it knowing they're going to die. They're both pretty great. I get fired up by both of them. Of the scene where they're going down the little causeway here. And it's just fucking pouring them off. Just drawing them off. Yeah. And just plowing through all of the. Which by the way, I can pretty much buy this pot. I get down to the bottom. I'm like, oh, they're in trouble. Yeah. Big trouble. I like those few in the back were swinging their swords and hitting absolutely nothing. Yeah. Yeah. We're part of the team. Hang in a spot. There he is. There he is. I love Gandalf. He's great, but he's still a little far away. Come on, buddy. These are, these are, that's shadow facts. He'll show them the meaning of haste. Yep. He's a fast horse. Don't, if you're watching Braveheart, look in the backgrounds of the fights there. It's hilarious. Oh yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a steep hill. Not steep enough. It needs to be steep. Yeah. It's the home of the horse lords, baby. That's right. It would be a bit awkward though with the front line of trips. Look at that. Damn. I can't know the amount of reason and setup to have this as a payoff, but everyone else is trying to copy them a lot. I know. It never works as well. Oh. You compare this to the end of Endgame, and this still looks a thousand times better. Oh, the music. Yeah. That first rider is kind of jumping over. That's so fucking badass. Not looking good, Saruman. Nope. You're going to fuck up Ice Guard now. Yep. You're done, boy. Now the answer, they're perturbed. You motherfucker. You count us down. What is happening? Oh, I'm going to hit you. Oh my God. And kick you. Considerate some of these literally born yesterday. They're probably like, what the fuck is happening? The world I've been spawned into. No. This part, people were cheering in the theaters. I freaking loved it. Yeah. Angry trees. Well, the Al Gore is getting pretty. He's not expecting this. Nature's like, fuck you. Oh, no. There's a guy who catches on fire. It does make me laugh when the waters like flood. Ice Guard just see him dunk in his head. Yeah. First thing he does is dive in. His arm and wakes up. He's like, what the fuck is all that noise outside? There we go. Release the river. Release the river. It's a nice combination. Oh, that looks so good. I mean, it sure does look good. It doesn't look as good as Rings of Power when they jump-started Mordor. Yeah. This is how they started Mordor. This is what old man Waldrick sticks his sword in the key. And he turns it and makes Mordor. As you can see. I can't believe that. A lot of Rings of Power trauma has been let loose in this recording. We have to wash it away with the river. I bet that's a model too. The water coming down that whole side there. Looks bloody gorgeous. Oh, it looks so good. Great. Water is our friend. Oh, there he is. There's his head. There, buddy. He's okay. I like how he even runs to the water. He's not even waiting for it to get to him. Look, it takes them all out. You know, when Return of the King starts and they go into all this like flooded area, I always think like, what if you accidentally fell into one of the giant holes? Oh, God. I guess you could swim back up, right? Oh, that looks so good. If they fully flooded it, which I guess they did. Yes. The music, they just, everything, everything's, mwah. Mr. Frodo, are you doing your weird ring shit right now? Are you being strange again? Are you having a moment, Mr. Frodo? Just let me know what I need to tie you down. Never go full retard, Mr. Frodo. Let me know what I need to share to the load. Oh, dude. Yes, look at that. Holy shit. We're supposed to think this is the Witch King as well, by the way, or is it just Randy? I mean, one could, yeah. I guess any one of them could do it, right? Like he's got a crown on his head. Not every time. We didn't see him with a crown on the first one. Yeah. This might be Randy. Randy the... They're all special. Randy the Ring Race. The race. Randy the Ring Race. Randy Ring Race. He's one of the Rim World storytellers. He gets really annoyed because he's like, call me Randall, not Randy. It's Randall, okay. Oof. Can't really fucking close to losing everything there, huh? I know. Yep. I've been shot by the young captain of Gondor. Ow. Showing his quality. It hurts so much. Oh. Whoa, geez, Mr. Frodo. Oh, my God. It's like, bro. This movie does this stuff so perfectly. To take us from the epic battle at Helm's Deep to the destruction of Isengard to this... It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really matter. I'm like, all of it just feels like it works perfectly within this narrative. Construction is kind of... And to balance so much. How did you do it, lads? Sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? What do you mean? Lord of the Rings doesn't even do... Why are you gonna do this to me, Sam? Lord of the Rings doesn't do as strictly like 100% happy ending. No, it doesn't. There's a cost. There's a cost to any victory. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And that cost isn't always immediately obvious. No, what this movie... What the books pull off is... You've got your little MacGuffin. You've got a ring. And you think it's the easiest thing. It's just so... They even mention it within the book. It's a little thing. This little thing is so destructive and so hard to get rid of. And so manipulative. And everything has weight and gravity to it. And that's the verisimilitude. I'll use RMB's term. That works for this film is when they grounded it. What their approach to it was, we want to make this historical. We're not making a fantasy. We're making a historical biopic. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. I think it kind of worked. You can say that. I think they did okay with it. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. What are we holding on to, Sam? Sam, given this speech. This guy who in the previous film like he was walking through a field and he was like, this is the furthest I've ever been from home. And here he is in the midst of this epic confrontation that's going to decide the fate of the world. There's some good in this world, Mr. Furrow. And it's worth fighting for. He's just taking it. He's just dealing with it. His first thought is for Frodo. And this is the second best speech the same gives this movie. I mean, for the potato one. I love how at the end of every film Sam comes along to remind you why he's the best character. Yep. I think at last, we understand what another Frodo beckons. Frodo wouldn't have been anywhere near complete this journey without Sam. No, Sam is essential. Gollum would have fucking killed Frodo. That would have been it. The laws of your father. If you let them go, your life will be forfeit. Yeah. Well, Sam is the thing that grounds him and keeps him in this world. And it is forfeit. And it's forfeit. Armea coming through. Yeah. And that's what I mean. I feel like the scenes in Oskelia have to really inform this decision. Did he show his quality? And just that, oh man, why'd they cut? Why'd they cut the flashback? Don't cut. Yeah, the trees. What's crazy in the in the games? There's a whole mission of the trees absolutely fucking up the Urukai and you chasing them and killing the rest of them too. It's actually like kind of satisfying as fuck. The Ents are not done with them. Nope. The Ents want flash too. Just like that. They want blood. Ooh, they did. That's a Jurassic Park woman right there. Yeah, yeah. You could tell like Gadoff's story like don't go in there. Yeah. They just don't. The trees are dicks. I mean, they're kind of pissed off but they're dicks, you know. I think they're good. And they can do whatever they want to the Urukai at this point, morally speaking. I don't think anyone's going to have a problem. 42. I myself am sitting pretty on 43. I think the problem is that if any of the Rohan guys had gone in they would have been just killed too. The Ents were so fucking worked up and pissed off by that point. They would have killed anything. He was already dead. He was twitching. He got 43 with that ladder alone. Oh, more than that. More than that easy. Yeah. He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system. Look at him wiggling. Yeah, I know. So good. Got my axe in his nervous system. Not too happy at all, Mary. Yeah, it's been a shit day for him. That would be funny if these two just waved to Saramond. He's like, what the fuck? Will this day get any weirder? And I'm a wizard. Good luck trying to find something decent to eat round here. Probably only dead rats and moldy bread. Hey, Maggity Bread. For three stinking days. Days good for three stinking days. I'll let the trees see it. A big floating chicken? Turkey? Chicken? Was it just this one? It'd be made better if it was marinated in Mountain Dew. Oh, yeah. Movie Bob would agree. Oh, they found a stash. Whose stash is this? Saramond's, baby? Yeah, man. He likes to use it. I had a really good taste. He's like in Ratatouille. He's like, he's the one like who respects food. He's making me hungry. Just looking at that. Feral each. We might have a problem, Mary. I love when the, with Aragorn and the others, like find them, they're just sitting there getting stoned. They're just having the time of their life. They're all laughing as he's smoke puffing out. Oh my God, the tree's talking, man. That smoke was my friend. Oh, smells like Elizabeth. Gollum just wants to ring back. He didn't agree to all this. And it's name. This is interesting, right? The fact that it says no, no. And then yes, like, even Faraby has picked up pretty quickly. He can't trust this fucking goblin. They say dark terror dwells in the passes above me in a smorgasbord. We cannot go that way. But the thing is as well, like what he's proposing is literally the only way you can get into Mordor without being discovered. Probably not the only, but one of the ways that we're doing. No, Sauron finished the wall. There's only a couple ways. I heard you could just fly right in pretty easily with Eagles. So get rekt in the books. They make it clear that the Eagles just don't. They're not going to be a bus service or not to be tamed. Well, and people have highlighted to that. Imagine they just get shot down. That's the whole mission over. I do like the idea, though, in some crazy alternate world, they gave the ring to Tom Bombadil. And he just kind of tottered into Mordor and like dumped it into a shit. It was purely accidental. Yeah. He's just like, oh, this is what I have a summer home in Mordor. Yeah. He's trying to save you. See. So there's no art feelings. Yeah. No, we're cool, bro. We're cool. Whenever someone says no hard feelings, it's like, is that what you said when you have hard feelings? Yeah. Yeah. Sauron's Ross will be terrible. His retribution swept. What a great lead into the next movie. Yeah. I was like, did you like that? Did you? Well, there's more. I wonder if people will ever say, let's hear about Frodo in the ring. And they'll say, yes, it's one of my favorite stories. It literally is 20 years later. It's or so. Yeah. Play that video. Lord of the Rings of Frodo. Say the thing about Vigo in the toe. Samwise the brave. I want to hear more about Samwise the brave. Samwise the brave. Yes, he is. Aragorn the toe. Aragorn the toe? If he goes like, I didn't really want that for the character, but I mean, you know, things happen and... Frodo, I wouldn't have got far without Sam. Oh, guys, the third film is going to be real tough for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is. In a certain sense, this was a little bit of a break for them, relatively speaking. Kind of, yeah. Being ferried by Paramir and his men is definitely chill compared to a lot of stuff. Master, you're excited to rest. Master, wouldn't I? That's another scene, by the way, that you know when Peter Jackson was fucking filming this, he was like, dude, you're pretty good at this. I don't even have to do anything. The immediate switch to like... Like the eye of Sauron, the fat hobbit is watching. I can't cry. He's too risky. A bold move, like, basically ending the movie on Gollum to have to, like, perform this whole scene. Obviously, reminding us how important the primary mission again, that ring to the old volcano is and knowing this is going to be something they have to deal with. Companion's going to kill him and he's going to do it in a way that we don't even fully understand yet. Yep. And I mean, the Faramir saying, right, like there's a dark thing there, something... Nameless terror. Anyway, back to our fun journey. Anyway, back to the fun forest. Wee! You guys have got a lot of climbing ahead of you. Yep. So, yeah, who wants to go there? We are going there, right? We're going there. It's been an absolute pleasure taking part in this little journey with you guys for these first two movies. And I, tragically, I won't be able to make the third one. Yeah, thank you for this, though. It was great to watch this movie with you guys and be reminded, movies can genuinely be fucking incredible experiences. It's nice to be reminded every once in a while because it's easy to watch a lot of the crap that we deal with now and get very, very cynical and very bummed out about the whole thing. But this reminds me that, wow, when they do it right, it can really move people. And that's a good thing to remember. It's a good thing to keep in mind. So, I guess, for me, that's all I've got for today. So, I'm going to go away.