 think people make the mistake of not actually thinking about why they do things so for example you see people going after they say they want a million dollars and you ask them why I'm like you know what I was raised in a poor family my mom my dad always fought and eventually they got divorced over money and you're like okay I get it but then you ask them why again and they're like you know I want the safety and the security of having this money and you ask why again and they're like I just want to have freedom and I want to have options and then you go why why why and then you realize that they didn't really need a million dollars they just needed like if they made six figures doing something they enjoyed they would have plenty of money to do all the things they wanted to do and I think the trap is we do all these things and we put ourselves on like this hamster treadmill like so deep in the matrix for our entire lives and then we don't even know why we did any of it like for me I was super frustrated by the fact that I had a full-time job and I was working 40 hours to just pay my rent to exist in a place that I didn't even particularly like that much and just so I could exist and repeat the same day over and over with the four hours free I had every day and to me this was like absolute insanity like I had no idea why I just didn't understand why humans would do that for 40 years their whole lives and so for me that was one of the big it was an impetus for me doing something and creating my own business so I could regain those things that's a great classic reason that people change is pain 90% of the time I mean I can only think about my own story where I don't know that many people who think that they want to acquire a lot of money so they don't have to struggle without the struggle or people I hear all the time they're like I want to just find one person marry them and stay with them you almost never hear that from people that had like happily married parents like that deep emotional energies from people that are like very traumatized by something in their past or have been the child of a person who's gone through multiple divorces or the person who had never had any opportunities in life or they envied all these people that could travel the world but they couldn't because of whatever economic circumstances I think for most people it's interesting when I talk to people who even hired me as a coach it's like 90% of the time maybe 90s in exaggeration maybe more than 50% of the time they've recently had a death in the family or if they're hiring me for their health one of their friends either their parent has died or a friend their age just died and that's put in them like this that feeling a sense of mortality like you know we all intellectually know we're gonna die but you know it's like in Tuesdays with Maury where he says you know everyone intellectually knows they're gonna die but we don't really believe it because if we did then we would actually change and I think whenever people either realize their own mortality which is easy to see when you see a parent a few decades older going through a health crisis or when they pass away or when it's just that day-to-day malaise where you just are dying slowly like the thorough most men live lives of quiet desperation just repeating the same day and that's supposedly a lifetime I think for most people it's frustration or desperation that almost always leads to change and it's very rarely like these happy-go-lucky everything's unicorns and rain both people that have the kind of fire the hunger that actually results in doing something impressive people don't change mostly just because it's easy right like even it seems weird because you could think okay how can a person who's so in debt or how can a person in so much physical pain or how can a person so overweight that they hate themselves how can they not change it seems logical but I think for a lot of people you know I had a woman who hired me as a coach and she said I am when I dug deeper and I asked her all these questions and I was like why do you really want to lose weight like why now what's going on she's like when I was younger I was she's like not to be egotistical I was pretty sexy and she goes I had guys flirting with me all the time and now that I've gained some weight I feel like if I lost weight again I would get attention from men and cheat on my husband so like it could be so simplistic for us to think that she just needed to lose weight and there was this deep logical reason that she just had to do the work and eat right but the story was way deeper and way more compelling and so for a lot of people we don't change because it's like that the devil you know versus the devil you don't right like she knew I would not like myself as much or I didn't like how I looked or felt but at least I don't know if I open pent doors box I don't know what would happen so I think for a lot of people it's the fear of well this kind of sucks but at least I know what's gonna happen versus if I step into the unknown I don't know I might be the ridicule of my friends and family I don't even know what to do I don't know how it's gonna work out and I think oftentimes it's just that the pain has not gotten big enough and deep enough that people are willing to just short-circuit themselves and their habits I mean I guess in the interest of timely advice the best advice recently was from my friend Jackie who said to radically follow your intuition above all else and this is coming from someone who had a very successful practice in New York City bought her first place when she was young in her 20s burned herself out and her brother died of drugs and she realized that she really wasn't living the life that she really wanted to be living and certainly she was killing herself physically and her advice to just radically follow your intuition it's very simple but again it's like dying no one really believes it can work like no one really believes they're gonna die no one really believes if you just follow your intuition implicitly just 100% trust it that you could actually do something as concrete as make more money like we get it with love and friends and like traveling but like really concrete things I think it really surprised me because when I was young interesting thing about my life because I was so into spirituality my life was filled with synchronicity there were coincidences every day to the point where I would have these coincidences that were so freaky that you just like a laugh they're so perfect it's like you know there's an intelligence and that it's hearing you and as I got older I didn't even realize how infrequently that that was occurring it just stopped for like years maybe five or ten years and it wasn't till last year or really the beginning of this year that I started doing this again and all these synchronicities have started happening again and so when you live that way it makes you realize that there is like this this quote infinite intelligence and that it it hears things and it when you follow the things that excite you and that intuitively resonate it there is this kind of synergistic effect and just for lack of better word magic happens.