 So you've probably heard of the inner child we have and my understanding of the inner child is the most fundamental need we have as humans which is really as children certainly it's for connection and that's a need that you know we're humans we're social animals we're designed to be in relationship that's a need that never goes away really throughout the whole lifespan for people but it can become a little bit too simplistic when we think of I have this inner child that wants connection because there are other needs we have within us that if they are not catered to or they're not met they're not validated we run into problems now one of these needs we have is the need to be lazy and it is not a need that is talked about enough very few people I hear actually talk about it at all so I see kind of part of my mission here in this life to advocate for the inner lazy child because you know it has a very bad name and we're all trying to get rid of our inner lazy child which is a shame which I'll talk about here so the question in this video the title of this video is how do you treat your inner lazy child the answer for most of us is we treat them terribly you know they are they're like the original inner child they are a valid emotional need to be lazy to be lazy is a completely valid need now also productivity or what I call the need to take responsibility is also completely valid but the thing is that's an inner child we're all very aware of and we give plenty of validation to in terms of psychotherapy we would say that we're all deeply identified with that need we like that inner child we take the side of that inner child now that does not necessarily mean we are productive in our behavior you see the thing with something like procrastination is it's the result of it's kind of like driving with the the handbrake on in your car right you may want to be productive you may want to meet that need for to to be take responsibility and to do things but if there's this unmet need over here this need will become resentful to any efforts to meet this need longer it's unmet the more it'll sort of hold it back essentially with our emotional needs the only real way forward with them is to see them all as valid and your inner lazy child is one of those needs that is valid as the need to be productive or the need for anything else so yes we have an inner child in fact we have more than one inner child and all of these inner children are inside us they're sort of trying to get our attention they're trying to get some of our time and energy but really the thing they need most of all is to be validated and that is to be seen as okay not a nuisance now laziness this this inner lazy child we have is typically seen as the black sheep of the family we're all trying to get rid of it and transcend it and overcome we can find ourselves becoming what I refer to in my book on procrastination as chronic doers where we're constantly identified with this doing and productivity and because we're we're either thinking about it we should be doing it we tell ourselves or where we actually are doing it but more often than not we're not doing it but we're certainly never sort of consciously saying to this inner lazy child I really appreciate you I see you as valid and the thing is once we start to give this need this inner child this this lazy inner child some validation some space to be itself productivity comes a lot more naturally because there's less inner conflict ultimately what happens with our inner needs is when we're not validating some of those needs or all of them maybe they're all in competition with each other they're all sort of undermining each other but once you start to see them all is equally valid and you start to validate them all they start to cooperate with each other and they start to complement each other so what happens is that the inner lazy child starts to complement and assist and help the productive inner child you could say and there become much more willing to cooperate and share with each other it also feels a hell of a lot better emotionally for you you could consider yourself in all this to be the the parent to all these inner children so what I want this video to be is just a gentle reminder that with this this inner lazy child there's nothing wrong with it the only thing we have to start to do is to validate it more often to give it what it needs but not passively intentionally god forbid that might mean you intentionally play video games because it's a lazy thing to do or you might watch a movie sometime but you do it intentionally rather than finding yourself passively watching it and feeling guilty about it okay some of those behaviors can become addictive and I'll talk about addictive behaviors more in future videos and a few people have been asking me to talk more about that and I'm actually I'm working on that right now but that's something that's coming but the need for laziness should not be considered an addiction it's a very valid healthy need to not be in goal setting mode all the time to switch off from that in fact it's an essential thing that we do for ourselves so my goal again here is to remind you validate that need you know sit down and really say okay there's there's lots of things I want to do here but how am I going to validate this need what can I give that need to make it feel validated and unmet for myself and see what happens to me emotionally when I do that do I feel do I feel more centered do I feel more balanced with them myself and my feeling is that you will you will as soon as you start to validate that need for laziness so guys I hope that's a useful video if you want to learn more about this there's two resources one is my book on procrastination which talks a little bit about this and the other one is a book it's actually a free book you can check it out it's on my website and it is called forget happiness which is basically a book on self parenting how to meet your own personal emotional needs laziness being one of those needs I hope that's a useful video and I'll see you guys again very soon in the next one take care